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December Chat Thread

5K views 147 replies 17 participants last post by  sarahknavy 
#1 · (Edited)
I guess it's officially December and I believe we are all in our 3rd trimesters! Where in the world does the time go? Our babies are so close to being here.

Anyone in nesting mode yet? I get urges and impulses to do the baby's laundry and prep his nursery but it's hard when his nursery is technically about 45 minutes away.

Things are probably about to get hectic for everyone with with the winter holidays upon us. I'm going to hopefully get my maternity shots done this month before I get too huge to even fit in a frame. What's going on with all of you? Any exciting holiday plans?
 
#2 ·
Yes, time is going fast. Thank goodness. I hope it stays that way.

The holiday was stressful for me thanks to DH's back and family visitors. I"m glad it's over and everyone is gone now. I'm not normally like that, but this year was just too hard. I was in the ER with DH for his back yesterday. But I don't really want to talk about it anymore. I'm sick of talking about it and hearing about it and dealing with it.

SO, in other news-

I managed to get some food made and frozen! Not much, but it feels good to see it in the freezer. Chili, pumpkin bread, banana bread, and 4 loaves of zucchini bread. It was all stuff I made for the holiday, so I doubled it all and froze half :)

I bought 2 car seats as well. We needed to do something about the car seat situation for the back row of our van since we have to fit 3 across. The base model of the Radian went on sale (though it's even lower now, darn it! $169 on AlbeeBaby), so we bought one of those. Then I found a used Chicco Keyfit that had only been used for 9 months, and got it for $70 (with the base). I normally wouldn't buy used, but money is tight and sometimes you have to do what you can to stretch it. I'm happy to have it! I HATED the Graco we had last time, which is funny because I loved the first Graco we had. Must have been the particular model.

My father in law and his girlfriend came to visit and did "Christmas" with the kids. They were the only wild card in my plan to keep the gift-giving down... now I have a bunch of stuff laying around the house :( I know they meant well, but DANG. And my kids are acting like brats from all the stuff and the attention (and, no doubt, from me being too tired to discipline like normal and from the extra movie watching). Oh well. Time will straighten it all out.

Physically, I can't believe how well I am doing. Yes, my back hurts if I do a lot, but if I manage to be careful, I can avoid pain and just be uncomfortable. I don't get sciatica at night unless I accidentally sleep on my back. I have had some digestive issues, but it's tolerable.

I'm at the stage where strangers are starting to say things about my belly size. "You ain't gonna make it to Christmas!" I love the look I get when I tell them I am due in Feb. It doesn't bother me- I find it amusing. The only comment that has irritated me a bit was from my mom, saying that she hopes it isn't going to be a huge baby. Bah. Sometimes I wish I could push out a 10 pounder, all natural, and not tear, just to put an end to this obsession she has with big babies being dangerous. Just sometimes though... I'd rather keep it to 8 lbs!!!!

How's everyone else doing?
 
#3 ·
I came across this article this morning and wanted to share. I really like the message it is implying. Moms, take all the time you need to get better after the delivery. There is no normal and everyone's timeline is different. And, it takes longer than you'd imagine. http://www.thedailybeast.com/witw/articles/2013/08/15/america-s-postpartum-practices.html

Definitely nesting all day every day. We didn't go anywhere or host anything for Thanksgiving. I promised my husband we would do nothing for all the major holidays this year. All of our money is tied up in baby stuff and soon to be hospital bills, so I'm okay with not spending gas money, though I do miss my family.

Is anyone bumping into things yet? I just started. I'm trying not to, of course. Trying to be very careful. Also, it's getting really hard to bend over. Pretty soon I won't be able to put my socks/shoes on. I would love to buy some slip on boots, but I spent all my money on baby stuff!

cagnew, I also get 'the look' when I say I have three months to go or say it's not until Valentine's Day. But still loving all the room I have on the me side of the body (away from the belly).
 
#4 ·
Thanksgiving was so great with all the amazing food I was able to eat! And eat, and eat! 5 days of leftovers, and finally I'm done. We hosted, and by the end of the day I couldn't believe how exhausted my body was. It literally felt like I'd done a weeks worth of hard tree work, but I only cooked a meal! The next day I was pretty much out of commission, too, but finally feeling back in action... except for a different kind of tiredness that's kicking in every now and then.

Valerie.... I was at a pizza place the other day. There is a narrow channel where you view and order your pizza, and then you move to the bigger open space to pay for your slice, and enjoy or leave. I was trying to navigate by this family, aware of my big belly. There was a girl, probably about 9 years old, and exactly at my breast height. As I tried to suck in my gut to get past her, I forgot to account for my growing breast size, and NAILED her right in the face with my giant boobies. I think we both felt a little bit violated!

It's so nice to say that some of us just may have a baby in their arms NEXT MONTH!! Albeit, the latter end of next month... but that's just a minor detail. Tick tock! Regardless if it's a month, or two... once we make that transition, this stage of their life/development is over. Permanently. Enjoy these kicks and hiccups, and the last of the quiet intimate time you have with your partner (if you actually have that quiet intimate time! Those with other kids are already beyond those moments!)... I know I'm soaking it up with my man, whom seems more enamored with each passing day.
 
#5 ·
(if you actually have that quiet intimate time! Those with other kids are already beyond those moments!)
Nah. I have 4 little one's and DH and I still find plenty of quiet intimate time :) It's less spontaneous, but it's still there and quite possibly more appreciated than before we had kids.

It's great that your DH is so enamored with your "pregnant self"! I've known some guys to think it's grotesque (but they were kind of jerks anyway). I wouldn't say my DH is totally extra in love with my pregnant look, but he isn't turned off by it either, which I appreciate.
 
#6 ·
Cagnew, you've given me light! For some reason I have this thought that our snuggle sessions will dissipate once there's a bouncing little baby/toddler/child frolicking with us!

My husband is really helping me to see myself as "sexy" (something I have never been before!), just by his response to my growing body.
I've even gotten to the point that I'm going to miss this massive growth coming out of my normally trim tummy!
 
#7 ·
DH is also really in love with my belly. I have a pretty big belly too, I look like I'm due in just a couple weeks. I love it though. I probably won't love it come early February when I'm too big to get around comfortably.

Thanksgiving was nice but a little too big for my liking. There were over 50 people there and quite a few weren't even family, I was so not in a mingling mood and didn't feel like meeting a ton of new people so I slinked off with DH and my sisters and we just stuffed our faces in peace. I hope Christmas is less hectic. I love my big family but I'm also so ready to host my own little holiday meals with just my husband and kids.
 
#8 ·
LOL @happyday8598

My first child was born in mid February and I just remembered that we went to my husband's grandmother's house for Christmas Eve. I remember sitting on the couch, pregnant, and people piling presents next to me. But what I really remember is that I couldn't turn, couldn't reach, couldn't get up, and couldn't breathe... couldn't really do anything except sit there. And that was with a month and a half left to go. And I worked up until the due date because the baby was born a week earlier than expected. Things are so much easier with no stomach muscles. Yes, it's getting harder to do things, but at least I can breathe!

I was just talking to my husband last night and was telling him that I actually wouldn't mind trading the peace and quiet of having a baby still inside for my body back with a crying baby waking me up at all hours of the night. I will probably regret saying that, though, when the time comes. I remember the feeling of relief after delivery, even though it hurts to walk, I just feel so great when I get my body back and can sleep on my stomach again.
 
#9 ·
I'm feeling similarly Valerie. I'm looking forward to food tasting right and passing through as expected (ahem!). I also enjoy bending over to put on my shoes, etc and that will be nice too. I find it easier with a baby strapped to me than with a big belly that's for sure. :)
 
#10 ·
Thanksgiving was ok, but we caught colds with fever from MIL, and now that the kids' fevers have gone, I've developed the fever. And the coughing... my head hurts now. Last year we got a stomach bug from her. Next year, we'll do Thanksgiving at our house. If she's sick, I know she won't make the trip up, plus I think me handling the food would be better anyway. Who holds the top of the cup (where your mouth goes) when putting your drink on the table? That was right after coughing a lot!

My blood pressure stayed good through the week, so that's good. I was worried about traveling, but we were only gone one night. And I'm doing fine.

In the last week, I've had TWO strangers comment on my pregnancy. Yay! I look pregnant instead of fat! :D
 
#12 ·
Is anyone else planning on traveling for the holidays? Am I insane to even be thinking about it? I'll be driving 4 hours each way at about 34 weeks. I just got back from a Thanksgiving road trip, and that went pretty well, other than the horrendous traffic! I had a little bit of foot swelling when I fell asleep, but once we stopped and walked it off, I felt much better! Anyone had any experience driving this close to due date?
 
#13 ·
I wouldn't want to be traveling now even at 27 weeks but that's just me. I don't handle sitting for long periods of time well. If you do decide to travel, try to take the pressure off your joints by tailor sitting when you can and make sure you're getting plenty of blood flow to your extremities. Goodness, are you sure you don't want to stay home? Just thinking about it makes me uncomfortable :confounded:
 
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#14 ·
I'll be traveling in about three weeks, I'll be 30/31 weeks then. It'll be a three hour car ride one day, three hour plane ride the next, reverse on the way back (with a longer break between the plane and car). But I haven't had any swelling issues or anything like that. I really haven't been very uncomfortable at all so far, although I made the mistake of bowling at a kid birthday party on Sunday and I'm still paying for it! I'm not worried about the travel though. I'll be sure to get up and move at least once an hour.


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#15 ·
I haven't talked to the doctor about my travel plans yet (will do so this Thursday at my next appointment), but from what I've read online, the important thing is to move as much as possible while in the car (rolling ankles, leg lifts, etc) and also to stop and walk around every 1-2 hours. The Thanksgiving trip was 6.5 hours there and 9 hours back (horrible traffic) and I was/am 29/30 weeks. I had no problems other than the slight foot swelling on the way up when I fell asleep for two solid hours. 34 weeks is, of course, riskier, because I'm that much closer to term, but the alternative is being left behind for Christmas with just hubby (whom I love, but I'm an extrovert, and would go nuts with only one other person on my favorite holiday!). I've looked into a hospital at my destination as well, just in case. If the doctor clears it, I plan to go...
 
#16 ·
We just travelled. It was about 10 hours one way, and 9 back. We stopped for pee breaks every couple hours. I was fine. My biggest complaint was my butt hurting from the seat, but it does that on long car trips normally. I'm only 27 weeks though. I really think you'll be fine, just listen to your body, and stop as often as you need to.

This month is crazy busy for us. All the school events for the boys, and my dh spends the next 2 weeks grading papers in all his spare time, and he has the anniversary shindig for his business, along with a birthday (10-double digits!), and the regular holiday stuff. I don't have to go anywhere though, and I'm looking forward to the 4 week break dh will have between semesters. I just have to focus on everyone else for this month, then I can start really focusing on this little sprout, and start some serious nesting. I did buy some diapers today, though! And I'm becoming seriously obsessed with woven wrap choices.
 
#17 ·
Weather permitting, I'll be traveling to a family baby shower for me and one other family member at 35 weeks. It's a 2-2.5 hour drive. If the weather is bad or I'm just not feeling well, I just won't go. But definitely skipping Christmas this year. We'll just do a family Christmas at home, which is mostly just for the kids' sake.
 
#18 · (Edited)
I'll be travelling about six hours away when I'm 31 weeks, mostly just to see a favorite cousin whom I haven't gotten to see in years. She has a set of nine-month-old twins that I've never met, and I'm looking forward to playing with the babies. (My cousin has also offered to give me some hand-me-down baby gear, like a Moby wrap and a cosleeper, and that, honestly, is also a big part of why I'm willing to travel so far when I am so pregnant.)

Edited to say that I also just made this trip over Thanksgiving, and I am about 28 weeks now. The drive was fine (my husband did the actual driving), the only bad part was trying to sleep on the way-too-soft guest bed at my parents' house.
 
#19 ·
Personally, if everything with the pregnancy was fine, I wouldn't hesitate to go. I've flown from AL to NJ while 34 weeks pregnant. I remember getting a comment from someone on the plane: "I can't believe the airline let you on that pregnant." Granted, I looked like I was about 43 weeks pregnant....
 
#21 ·
I'm miserable. My back hurts so bad it's making me sick to my stomach. I don't see how I can possibly last another 12 weeks like this :disappointed:
 
#22 ·
I am so over deployment. It hasn't even started yet. I am so frustrated trying to plan around this stupid thing. I don't know when he is coming home or where we will be moving when he gets back... now I find out they are sending my husband on the first crew out??? Thanks for the consideration guys. Hope I can call someone when I go into labor with no one here to help. Gah!!!!

Lord give me the patience to get through this and peace of mind not to drive myself crazy.
 
#23 ·
@sarahknavy, have you checked to see if there is a doula that does Operation Special Delivery? That would be someone to call when you go into labor. They provide free doula service to women with deployed husbands.

http://www.operationspecialdelivery.com/
 
#25 ·
I have some friends I could call really but I just don't feel comfortable with other people. I think it could be kinda fun to have a baby by myself actually but I mostly worry about getting to the hospital that's 45 min away and getting my kids cared for. I called my baby sitter and she said she would pack a bag and take care of them so now I just need to talk to someone else about possibly coming to the hospital with me. I just have to think about who I might trust in that situation. I don't know if a stranger with (most likely) other life responsibility would make me feel any better.

That sounds like a great program :)
 
#24 ·
A reoccurring issue in my life that I really need to figure out how to let go of is popping up again.
My husbands ex (the mother of his 9 year old) had a baby back in July. This woman hates me, and I don't have much love or respect for her, either. Fortunately after years her manipulative control over the parental rights of my husband have subsided, and they've got a decent relationship going. She sends me random e-mails of negativity, and has created a strong boundary between the relationship of her son and myself, as well as my kids. I wish I could like this woman, but I just don't.
She's started offering my husband her hand me downs that her now 5 month old son has outgrown. I don't want them. I don't want anything from her. I don't want to have the feeling that I owe her anything. Another friend has offered us an infant carseat, which I happily accepted, not knowing that he already accepted a carseat from his ex. Clothes will start coming in soon, too.
I am not against hand me downs. I love 'em, actually, and I love passing on the stuff that's still in good condition to other moms. I just have a block of animosity in accepting anything from this woman.
How immature can I be? My husband obviously doesn't get it, and thinks I am just being spiteful. I know I'm being immature, but it's out of a gut wrenching clench that I just can't let go of. I don't want/need her help in any way.

Rant over. Thank you for "listening".
 
#27 ·
A reoccurring issue in my life that I really need to figure out how to let go of is popping up again.
My husbands ex (the mother of his 9 year old) had a baby back in July. This woman hates me, and I don't have much love or respect for her, either. Fortunately after years her manipulative control over the parental rights of my husband have subsided, and they've got a decent relationship going. She sends me random e-mails of negativity, and has created a strong boundary between the relationship of her son and myself, as well as my kids. I wish I could like this woman, but I just don't.
She's started offering my husband her hand me downs that her now 5 month old son has outgrown. I don't want them. I don't want anything from her. I don't want to have the feeling that I owe her anything. Another friend has offered us an infant carseat, which I happily accepted, not knowing that he already accepted a carseat from his ex. Clothes will start coming in soon, too.
I am not against hand me downs. I love 'em, actually, and I love passing on the stuff that's still in good condition to other moms. I just have a block of animosity in accepting anything from this woman.
How immature can I be? My husband obviously doesn't get it, and thinks I am just being spiteful. I know I'm being immature, but it's out of a gut wrenching clench that I just can't let go of. I don't want/need her help in any way.

Rant over. Thank you for "listening".
Yeah, I don't think I could accept hand me downs from her either... That would be kinda strange... I wouldn't want to see my kids in something that someone I didn't like gave me even if it was new
 
#26 ·
@happyday8598 I don't blame you for feeling that way. I'd also be really resistant to accepting anything from her given your history. Do you think this is a sort of peace offering? Either way I don't think you'd be in the wrong to not accept the hand me downs if you really don't need them.
 
#28 ·
bren: Sorry about your back. I totally understand how miserable back pain is!

happy: I wouldn't want them either. I suppose you could accept them and just drop them off at a thrift store or something. I wouldn't want to see my baby wearing them because it would always remind me of who gave them. Petty, perhaps, but just being honest :)

sarah: That really sucks. Military wives amaze me! You are so much stronger than I think I could be.

Sleep is getting really, really hard. My hips hurt so bad and the only way to get relief is to lay on my back for a bit... but that triggers sciatica, so it's not a real option. I'm tired and I doubt I will do anything today worth anything. I might take tylenol PM tonight just to try to get some sleep.
 
#29 ·
Happy, that's so frustrating. I can see why you wouldn't want to accept anything. If it were me I'd either box them up and put them straight Ito the garage (if she expects them to eventually be returned to her) or straight to donation center. I don't think it's even petty...if you have negative emotional associations with this woman and, by extension, things that belonged to her, why would you be expected to be okay with seeing your baby wrapped up in a tangible object of negativity?


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