February Chat (Feb DDC) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 297 Old 02-01-2015, 04:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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February Chat (Feb DDC)

HELLO!

It has been an embarrassingly long time.

By way of explanation: Do you ever just feel kind of weirdly antisocial for a couple of weeks, and then feel sort of weird about having been absent for so long, which contributes to procrastination about coming back and apologizing for being weird and absent, which then snowballs into a ridiculous months-long spree of avoidance toward people you actively MISS?

No, me neither, I never do that.

I have a LOT to catch up on, and am very excited to go through all the threads I've missed and see how everyone is doing. A quick scan of thread titles tells me I'm going to see some photos of our early arrivals! Hooray! I am so happy for you, mamas.

And I am so happy to be back. And sorry that I was weird about being away. But mostly happy to be back.

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#2 of 297 Old 02-01-2015, 04:40 PM
 
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Hi Tee, it's nice to have you back and know that you're okay. It's also okay to be introverted from time to time. So, don't feel weird. Our group was not the same without you.
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#3 of 297 Old 02-01-2015, 04:44 PM
 
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Welcome back!
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Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
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#4 of 297 Old 02-01-2015, 04:46 PM
 
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Glad to have you back, Tee!
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#5 of 297 Old 02-01-2015, 05:11 PM
 
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Woohoo! Tee is back! How are you feeling?

It's FEBRUARY!!!!!
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#6 of 297 Old 02-01-2015, 06:47 PM
 
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Welcome back!

My GBS test came back negative, woohoo! I had some anxiety over it because I truly have no idea how I would approach dealing with a positive result, and didn't want to have to feverishly research and come up with a decision quickly. Problem averted!

I'm loving reading all these birth stories and seeing how close everyone is getting. I'm sure I'll go at least to my EDD, probably beyond, and won't be surprised to have a March baby. I find myself wishing I didn't know or could forget how far along I am so I wasn't counting down days. But overall I'm comfortable and feel good about being another month or so away from meeting this babe. I do wish I could teach my phone to screen all texts relating to baby/pregnancy...I feel myself getting more and more inward and private, just like I did last time, and the probes into my wellbeing have the opposite of their intended effect.


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#7 of 297 Old 02-01-2015, 07:39 PM
 
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Originally Posted by luckiest View Post
Welcome back!

My GBS test came back negative, woohoo! I had some anxiety over it because I truly have no idea how I would approach dealing with a positive result, and didn't want to have to feverishly research and come up with a decision quickly. Problem averted!
Mine came back negative too and I feel much the same. Whew!


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#8 of 297 Old 02-01-2015, 07:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Good for you all! I went for the GBS hat trick and have now tested positive for three pregnancies in a row. Woo. For my last two babies, I followed a protocol of supplementation and dietary restriction, and was able to get rid of it upon re-testing, so I went ahead with the same protocol and re-tested earlier this week. Still haven't gotten the results back, and am pretty antsy to know one way or the other.

If anybody does have any interest in reversing a GBS result, I'm quite happy to share what worked for me twice (and maybe, fingers crossed, three times!).
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#9 of 297 Old 02-02-2015, 05:30 AM
 
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Welcome back @TeeThatsMe ... I took a couple of months off too. Was just too busy to get online... Glad all's well with you!


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#10 of 297 Old 02-02-2015, 06:14 AM
 
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I started taking Garden of Life Vaginal Care Probiotics about a couple of weeks before I was to be GBS tested. I actually had already been taking them, but took a break because of the price. So, since that test was coming up, I went ahead and bought some again. The test came back negative, and I'm still taking the probiotics for now. I'm not even sure that's what's causing it to be negative.

We had a snow storm yesterday and really crummy roads today, so school was cancelled for everyone, even the colleges. So I'm just really hoping I don't go into labor today, because I don't want to try and drive anywhere until the roads are better.

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#11 of 297 Old 02-02-2015, 09:26 AM
 
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February Chat (Feb DDC)

I woke up this morning, thinking there was something specific I wanted to post in this thread, but now I can't remember what it was. I must be pregnant!

Quote:
Originally Posted by TeeThatsMe View Post
By way of explanation: Do you ever just feel kind of weirdly antisocial for a couple of weeks, and then feel sort of weird about having been absent for so long, which contributes to procrastination about coming back and apologizing for being weird and absent, which then snowballs into a ridiculous months-long spree of avoidance toward people you actively MISS?

Yes! This was me, exactly! I finally sucked it up and came back last week. We can be avoiders together.

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Originally Posted by luckiest View Post

I'm loving reading all these birth stories and seeing how close everyone is getting. I'm sure I'll go at least to my EDD, probably beyond, and won't be surprised to have a March baby. I find myself wishing I didn't know or could forget how far along I am so I wasn't counting down days. But overall I'm comfortable and feel good about being another month or so away from meeting this babe. I do wish I could teach my phone to screen all texts relating to baby/pregnancy...I feel myself getting more and more inward and private, just like I did last time, and the probes into my wellbeing have the opposite of their intended effect.


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It took me three kids to figure out not to tell anyone my EDD. Very few people know that my EDD is 2/9; everyone else has been told "mid-February," and when I get asked how much time I still I have, I give a vague range (right now I'm saying, "A week or two, possibly three.").



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#12 of 297 Old 02-02-2015, 10:11 AM
 
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I mostly answer "I still have a month to go, give or take a couple weeks." The comments are making it hard to go out in public in this tiny town.

Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
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#13 of 297 Old 02-02-2015, 10:16 AM
 
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I don't get asked a lot when the due date is, but I do get asked how I'm doing whenever I see or talk to someone. So my answer is usually, "Oh... pregnant," or, "Oh... still handicapped." Something like that. And they always laugh. Sometimes I just say "Oh..." and they answer for me and I will laugh at them.

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#14 of 297 Old 02-02-2015, 10:26 AM
 
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I'm always as vague as I can be, try really hard not to give people my actual EDD, but when they (like family members) ask specifically what the date is, I don't know how to not tell them without being rude. My MIL has a pregnancy app on her phone with my date in it so she knows exactly how far along I am. It's really sweet, but I just know that the closer I get the less I'm going to enjoy the inquiries. I'm grateful that the check ins from people are all of the, "thinking of you, hope you're well" variety and not the, "are you still pregnant?" variety.

Maybe if we have more babies I'll tell everyone we have no idea when we conceived so I don't have a due date...


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#15 of 297 Old 02-02-2015, 10:46 AM
 
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February Chat (Feb DDC)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Valerie11 View Post
I don't get asked a lot when the due date is, but I do get asked how I'm doing whenever I see or talk to someone. So my answer is usually, "Oh... pregnant," or, "Oh... still handicapped." Something like that. And they always laugh. Sometimes I just say "Oh..." and they answer for me and I will laugh at them.

I called my grandma the other day, and after a few minutes, she asked how I was feeling, and I said, "Oh, just pregnant." There was a pause, and it was then that she realized she was talking to me, and not my sister, who is definitely not pregnant. I didn't know she didn't know it was me!

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Maybe if we have more babies I'll tell everyone we have no idea when we conceived so I don't have a due date...

This was what really happened to us with our third, which is when we decided never to broadcast our EDD again. I had a miscarriage and then conceived her right away, but it was 52 days after my loss that I realized I still hadn't seen AF and was feeling extremely weepy and clumsy. We didn't have a clue when she had been conceived. According the original EDD we came up with, she was 42w 1d. I was sooooooo tired of the comments and inquiries by the time she was born!


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#16 of 297 Old 02-02-2015, 11:41 AM
 
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Rikki, that's too funny!

I haven't been harassed so far actually. I just get asked how I'm feeling with that look of sympathy and then a lot of people saying theyre excited for me to give birth.

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#17 of 297 Old 02-02-2015, 11:41 AM
 
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@Rikki Jean , Ha ha! She thought she was talking to someone else.

I know if I'm talking to my husband or the kids, I'm usually okay, but for some reason if I'm talking to extended family or the neighbors or whoever is outside the immediate family, I get out of breath really quick and I have to stop and breathe. Must be a mental nervous thing. I'm not sure.

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#18 of 297 Old 02-02-2015, 02:11 PM
 
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Rikki: LOL!

40 weeks today, according to my dates. The OB has my due date as the 4th, which is fine with me! I let them do a pelvic for the heck of it, and- no surprise- nothing is going on. I'm hoping this will be my last appointment! My next one is for a week from Wednesday and has a stress-test and ultrasound scheduled.

So, just waiting! I'm trying to look at this as a positive thing- the suspense, the surprise, there's nothing like it! But it's not working, lol. I'm not going crazy yet, but I do just want it over with already.

I hope all of you in the northeast stay warm and dry as more snow comes in.

I'm so happy for the mama's who are holding their babies already! I'll be sad when it's all over though and our DDC ends. I don't have many friends in the real world and it's been nice checking in every day
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#19 of 297 Old 02-02-2015, 02:44 PM
 
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I'm gonna be sad too. I was following along in the January club and it totally died out after the last baby was born. I don't have many close mama friends and I'll be moving to a new city with no friends or family about a month after giving birth. I'll definitely miss having y'all to talk to!
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#20 of 297 Old 02-02-2015, 03:23 PM
 
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I have just sort of kept in this DDC for the most part and figured we would all eventually go our separate ways. But now I'm thinking that I took it for granted because I don't want it to end.

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#21 of 297 Old 02-02-2015, 05:13 PM
 
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I really loved my last ddc. A good number of us kept it up until mdc shut it down, then most of us went to Facebook. Five years later I am happy to still call several of those ladies good friends, even though we have never met irl. It doesn't have to die out if we want to keep it up.
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#22 of 297 Old 02-02-2015, 07:25 PM
 
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The question I'm getting really tired of is "when is your last day of work?", asked mainly by people at work. My reply is always, "whenever the baby comes!". Some people will then ask when my due date is, which I don't mind telling them, then I will follow that up with, "it could be a few days or a few weeks - who knows!"

The second most annoying question is "How are you feeling?", which I think is just a way people are trying to be sympathetic or they don't know what else to ask, but it seems like they are expecting me to tell them how awful I feel and I can't wait for this baby to come out. And I just don't feel that way at all. My MIL is constantly asking how I am and if everything is ok, but luckily she stopped calling me weekly a while ago and just asks my husband whenever she talks to him.

My mom finally asked tonight when I want her to come after the baby is born. I was dreading this question since I don't really know the answer. She lives about 4 hours away, so she's here for a few days when she comes to visit. But having her around is like having to constantly entertain her. She wants to spend all her time following me around and talking, and she just generally drives me kind of crazy. She was helpful when my sister had her babies, cooking and doing dishes and whatnot while they were taking care of the newborn, so I hope she would be the same when she's here after the baby. We don't want longer term visitors at home for a while though, and I thought she would be upset about not being able to come visit right away. I told her maybe she could come for a few days when my husband goes back to work, and she understands that we don't want people hanging out at the hospital while we're having the baby. She seems ok with coming a couple weeks after the baby is born, but I'm sure she's somewhat sad she won't be here right away to meet the baby as all of my husband's family can do, since they are all local and can stop by for a little bit and go home.
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#23 of 297 Old 02-02-2015, 09:00 PM
 
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Well, I was so worried that I wouldn't call the midwife in time - and also so worried that I'd call a false alarm. So in the middle of the night last night, I woke up from contractions and a ton of pressure. It was the exact same time I've gone into labor with the other three, and I couldn't get back to sleep and the contractions were 1 min long and 3 min apart. Soo I roused the troops, called the midwife, DH set up the pool and filled it, everyone got there quickly, and THEN...nothing progressed. I was actually relieved when everyone finally left since the need to perform was getting pretty stressful. Of course what I forgot is that this is exactly what happened in my last pregnancy (and then I had the baby the next morning) but I just didn't bother to get everyone over here before. So maybe something will still happen. I'm due on the fourth and getting pretty uncomfortable, but I still am not anxious for my pregnancy to be over. It's so weird to have that dual mindset of "come on, let's get this show on the road" at the same time thinking "2 more weeks would be nice; I could get so much done and put off the pain for that much longer!" Anyway, I'm having a hard time not feeling "dumb" for sounding a false alarm. I know that's irrational, but can't shake it.
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#24 of 297 Old 02-02-2015, 11:00 PM
 
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@heatbrown Its okay! False alarms are normal I think. I had one last pregnancy and didn't have the baby until a week later. Prodromal labor is VERY convincing!

That being said, I'm laying here having contractions and trying to fall asleep because I'm only 40+1 and that's earlier than my other kids. I just now opened the contraction app to time them. I don't want to make a false alarm like last time. We went to the hospital at 40 weeks, at around midnight, last time. That's just WAY too similar to tonight for me to believe this is really it.

I wish I could fall asleep!

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#25 of 297 Old 02-02-2015, 11:01 PM
 
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@heatbrown I wanted to add that I feel exactly the same way- ready to get it over with, but not in a hurry for the pain! Ugh.

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#26 of 297 Old 02-03-2015, 04:48 AM
 
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Originally Posted by sarahjs View Post
She wants to spend all her time following me around and talking, and she just generally drives me kind of crazy.
Sounds like my MIL. Thankfully, my mom isn't like that. She'll be working remotely while she's here and should be pretty busy during the daytime. But it will still be nice to have someone who's physically capable of doing things around the house and picking up the kids from school besides my husband (who would be at work anyway).

@heatbrown , I also wouldn't worry about getting ready for the big production only to find out it wasn't time. I'm sure the people who showed up are used to it by now. Hope your baby makes its appearance for you when you're ready.

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#27 of 297 Old 02-03-2015, 05:56 AM
 
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The question I'm getting really tired of is "when is your last day of work?", asked mainly by people at work. My reply is always, "whenever the baby comes!". Some people will then ask when my due date is, which I don't mind telling them, then I will follow that up with, "it could be a few days or a few weeks - who knows!"
I like to tell people, "since the typical first baby comes 10 days after its EDD, I expect to have a baby by the first week of March". I get annoyed with the "any day now" thing... yeah maybe, but not likely!

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The second most annoying question is "How are you feeling?", which I think is just a way people are trying to be sympathetic or they don't know what else to ask, but it seems like they are expecting me to tell them how awful I feel and I can't wait for this baby to come out. And I just don't feel that way at all.
I completely agree. I have felt great for the most part this pregnancy. Recently a passing colleague asked me "How you feeling", and I, forgetting I was pregnant said "I'm fine, how are you feeling". She seemed confused, and as I walked away I realized she was waiting for an update! LOL. It was funny and awkward.

My most annoying question is, "what are you having". I say, "we know it's a baby". But for a lot of the folks I work with, it is culturally bizarre that I am not finding out. They then ask "but how will you know what to get?" Since I don't feel like going into a whole thing about gender norms and how you don't know anyway until your child let's you know they identify as a specific gender, I usually just make a joke about how annoying it is to our family not knowing and move on.

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My mom finally asked tonight when I want her to come after the baby is born. I was dreading this question since I don't really know the answer. She lives about 4 hours away, so she's here for a few days when she comes to visit. But having her around is like having to constantly entertain her.
I completely relate to the entertaining thing with my in-laws. There is a formality that happens with them because they are much more conservative than I am (my parents were hippies, they are pretty much 1950's throw backs). My MIL is sweet and non-invasive, but my FIL, though loving, has a lot of opinions about things he knows nothing about and without a day full of planned activities, gets moody. My tolerance for this was severely impaired when they visited while I had morning sickness (I hid it well, but felt irked a lot).

I just can't imagine waddling around our little house with a sore bum and leaky boobs with my FIL around! Add the potential for crappy weather in March (they are from CA, so their distaste for weather is another issue) and the fact that my husband gets uber focused on their happiness and comfort when when we are around them, I fear being holed up in the house with them, being on my "best behavior", and becoming an afterthought to my husband.

I explained to my husband (who totally gets it) that, while I didn't want his dad here within the first 6 weeks, it could be helpful to have his mom come right after because my mother is not alive and we have minimal support. Alas, their family being conflict avoidant, and him a pleaser, I saw there would be no movement on that conversation actually happening. So, at Thanksgiving, I bit the bullet and diplomatically, but directly, explained to my MIL that I anticipate being in a sensitive place as a woman and not wanting a lot of men around while I am trying to heal and figure out breastfeeding.

Well, my MIL brought up a visit again recently saying they both want to come "whenever our help is needed" and that they will stay in a hotel. Sigh. I don't know if my hormones are just softening me, but I decided to let it go. They are adoring parents and want to meet their grandchild, and I get that. So, I told them they can come March 15. I also told them they should stay with us (I know they can't really afford to stay in a hotel for 5 days). I figure, worst case scenario, if I go 2 weeks late, we will have 10 days alone before they come (and with the crap sleep I have been getting lately, I will be grateful to have baby holding dish doers in the house regardless of who they are). If baby comes closer to its due date, we will likely be hitting the sleep deprivation wall, and my husband will be heading back to work, so that timing will help too. So, crossing my fingers this works out and I'm not just deluding myself (darn hormones)!

Good luck with your mom @SaraJS !


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#28 of 297 Old 02-03-2015, 06:00 AM
 
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It's so weird to have that dual mindset of "come on, let's get this show on the road" at the same time thinking "2 more weeks would be nice; I could get so much done
Though I actually have 2 more weeks until my due date and don't feel like labor is imminent, I completely relate. Part of me just really wants to meet this baby, but the rest of me is like, "I have so much to do, and am too tired to get anything done, so please come on time or late!"

Good luck, and don't be embarrassed. That's just birth for you - you never know exactly how it's going to happen!


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#29 of 297 Old 02-03-2015, 06:35 AM
 
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I definitely have time to fill the rest of the month. I would love a baby a couple weeks earlier this time, but I also would really love to paint my room and finish all the nesty things I want done in my house. And my mom gets here in two weeks, I feel like I can't really relax until she gets here.
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Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
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#30 of 297 Old 02-03-2015, 06:41 AM
 
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My last due date club with our 6yos moved to FB when we were done on Baby Zone. We have been on there ever since. We have had meet ups and some live close enough to see each other on a regular basis. For some of us, we are each other's only support. They were with me for my pregnancy testing nightmare. We have gone through more babies, divorces, and death together. So there are other options if we decide not to abandon. Each other when this is all over.

I don't have family coming at this point. My dad lives about an hour away and has a bigger house. So him and my stepmom are going to come get me and my 6yo after I have the baby. I will stay with them for a few days so that I have some help. I just fear being held hostage. Just kidding. I just know that I will be ready to come home before they will want me to. That and my stepmom mostly wants to take care of the new baby and I have tried stressing that I will want more help with the 6yo.
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