Baby Shower Registries? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 30 Old 06-26-2014, 11:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Baby Shower Registries?

So, somewhat against my will, it seems I will have to have a baby shower. Don't get me wrong--I'm very grateful to have a loving family and friends who want to help us out by giving us useful items for the first year of parenthood. I just struggle with the commodity-driven aspect of all things parenting (and involving children in any respect). I suggested that guests be asked to give their favorite children's book, and nothing else, but my mother (probably wisely) is trying to persuade me that, well, we'll most likely need some stuff.

Any recommendations for a progressive, socially conscientious online baby store that I might register with? God knows I have no desire to use Diapers.com.

And anything that I really should register for, that I might overlook?

Thanks all.
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#2 of 30 Old 06-26-2014, 11:31 AM
 
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You can always do a "sprinkle" instead of a "shower". My friend is on her second child and she doesn't want the hoopla of a shower. Instead she is asking everyone in the invite that if they must bring a gift, please gift diapers and wipes only.

I think you should put only the things you know you will need. diapers, wipes, towels, onesies. Gift cards are always nice too because you just go get what you want.
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#3 of 30 Old 06-26-2014, 05:11 PM
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I think NaturallyMo is right about the gift cards because that way you will be able to somewhat control the amount of crap that is brought into your home (and crap you will receive, at least from a handful of people).

I have been very stubborn about not having a baby shower for socio-economic reasons similar to your own. So far every woman I have told about it has tried to convince me that I might be able to do a baby shower "my way" but my way is not having one and not making people stress out about what to get for baby and me. Most of my friends are poor and can't afford to buy anything special and most of my family members have a hard time keeping up with my very specific tastes.

This will be my first baby and I know I'll need a lot of stuff, but I am hoping to look into gently used versions of what I need first. If anyone has the urge to give us anything, hopefully they can do it as part of a one on one visit rather than a big party.
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#4 of 30 Old 06-27-2014, 08:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Sweetface and NaturallyMo. This is useful advice. I am also not a fan of the gender division that happens at baby showers. Ours would be coed. And yes, I have certainly resented having to shell out a lot of money on presents for children whose parents I am only minimally in touch with. God knows I don't want anyone feeling that way about me!
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#5 of 30 Old 06-27-2014, 11:46 AM
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A coed baby shower sounds like it has more potential to be fun (to me at least).
One aspect of baby showers that has made me uncomfortable is that they are often the mother to be, a couple of her good friends, and then a bunch of random acquaintances who are mothers already. I can't help but feel a bit of "who are these people, why are they here?".

I guess I didn't answer to your registries question. It seems like you'd have to do a bit of internet work to find out what suits your tastes. I have gone fairly deep because I like solid primary colors more than pajamas that say things like "little princess" and "little dude". By searching for organic baby clothing I have found quite a few things I like, the only problem is that I am going to need so much stuff and buying only what I like is going to be insanely expensive, especially if I buy it all by myself. So I guess a registry is good for that...

I am still resistant to the baby shower idea, but maybe I am just being naive. We'll see how I feel later. I have already found a few "What do you need for the first year?" lists and looks like a lot of stuff to collect in a short period of time.
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#6 of 30 Old 06-28-2014, 07:11 AM
 
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Check out Blessingways. You could mix some of the baby shower ideas with a Blessingway.
I made a registry on Amazon. They let you put things from all over the internet like Etsy even. I put cloth diaper stuff mostly, and said that we would rather have home made or 2nd hand gifts. Received such cute handmade items!
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#7 of 30 Old 07-02-2014, 07:02 PM
 
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Hmm... as a breastfeeding, cosleeping mom, there's really not a lot of "stuff" that you do need.

By the time I got to baby #3, all I really used was a cosleeper bassinet (because my arm did need a break from cradling her eventually so i could get deeper sleep), cloth diaper and wipes, organic baby wash and lotion, baby nail clippers, several baby carriers (we wear everywhere! woven wraps- one long and one short, and a ring sling), some baby clothes (onesies and baby legs work great), a hat to protect from the sun (we are fair skinned). A backpack for a diaper bag. Hmm... some nursing bras (although sports bras work just fine). A booster seat/high chair, bibs, and a car seat.

Good luck, mama. :)
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#8 of 30 Old 07-04-2014, 06:24 AM
 
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I agree with Chapsie - after baby #1, I realized I didn't need so much of the gear that I was given - we even gave away the crib and never used one for babies 2, 3, 4. I do like having a moses basket for the itty bitty stage (which I need to replace for baby 5). Look into babywearing and cloth diapering and you might want to try to focus gifts in that area. I have already bought a new ring sling for this baby (couldn't resist). I have lots of friends willing to give me hand-me-down baby clothes and I love consignment sales and thrift shopping, so new baby clothes are not necessary. You will need some baby wash and products, check out Earth Mama Angel Baby, they also have a breastfeeding gift basket that I really enjoyed (nipple cream, boob tubes). Oh and I love those muslin baby receiving blankets :)
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#9 of 30 Old 07-04-2014, 08:23 AM
 
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Yes! Earth Mama Angel Baby also makes great postpartum products. I loved their bottom balm and spray for the first few days postpartum. I would definitely put that on my registry if I was making one. :)
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#10 of 30 Old 07-04-2014, 12:52 PM
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Thanks for the advice Chapsie and 3surfboys, it is very reassuring.
I am planning on cosleeping and breastfeeding, so it is good to know I won't be needing ALL THE STUFF. So much of it goes against my instincts anyways.

How do you guys feel about sleeping sacks for cosleeping?
What do you think of wool clothes (for a December baby) will they be too hot?

I also plan on cloth diapering, and so far I seem to have outraged a few people with that concept. Many people tell me that it is way too hard and that I'll regret it and switch to disposable diapers immediately... I am not sure, I am sort of hypersensitive about waste and I tend to love washing things by hand. I am also home all day every day and doing a load of laundry is sort of second nature to me. I have both washer and dryer right here and I hang a lot of stuff on racks around the house.

I also like those moses baskets I have seen. Any recommendations for cosleeper bassinets?

And finally, I sort of have this picture in my head that I will be able to sometimes, at some point, put my baby to sleep in a moses basket (or something else) and work quietly on sewing next to him or her as he or she naps. Do you think that is unlikely to happen? Do you feel it would be better to wear my baby as they sleep?

THANKS.
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#11 of 30 Old 07-04-2014, 12:53 PM
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Oh, also, what are your favorite cloth diapers?
My friend explained to me that with girls it can be trickier.
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#12 of 30 Old 07-05-2014, 04:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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We got a boatload of hand-me-downs from a friend that included a wrap (which for the life of me I cannot figure out how to possibly use--it just looks like endless yards of fabric) and a baby bjorn. Also tons of baby clothes and some maternity wear.

The information about cosleeping bassinets and moses baskets was super helpful. Maybe I'll create a separate thread on that subject later.

Along with cloth diapers...SF, I'm with you on that. I am committed to not creating more landfill but do notice that most moms (even those who started out with cloth) switch to disposables. Hm...

Also, in case anyone else is looking for a socially conscious/responsible registry, I did find this one (but know nothing about it aside from what's on their website):

http://zukababy.com

If everyone is spending all this money anyway I'd rather it go to a company whose values I share.

Thanks again all!
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#13 of 30 Old 07-10-2014, 11:44 AM
 
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I think with cosleeping sleep sacks might be too hot. I use them but I don't really cosleep. Same with wool clothes. I worry about overheating.
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#14 of 30 Old 07-13-2014, 09:49 AM
 
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I'm probably not going to have a shower because We just moved SO far away from all of our friends and family but for the few of my family members who will still ask to buy things, I'll probably ask for clothes for his later stages of life. I think it'd be nice to be stocked through sizes that'll fit him at age 3-4... My family has a history of big, fast growing babies haha...

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#15 of 30 Old 07-14-2014, 02:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm probably not going to have a shower because We just moved SO far away from all of our friends and family but for the few of my family members who will still ask to buy things, I'll probably ask for clothes for his later stages of life. I think it'd be nice to be stocked through sizes that'll fit him at age 3-4... My family has a history of big, fast growing babies haha...
Reading this made me feel a little spoiled for having complained about having a shower thrown for me. I wonder if you could make a special trip back to where you moved from for a little gathering? And that is a good idea to think long term!
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#16 of 30 Old 07-14-2014, 09:32 AM
 
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You can let baby sleep near you in a basket and do other things. You don't have to wear them all the time, especially if they will nap alone and you want to do stuff. We have had a swing for every kid for this exact reason - I like to eat with two hands! And take showers! Don't let AP philosophy get out of hand - a happy baby in a swing while you cut your own food is good! Leaving your baby to cry in a swing bc "it is nap time" is entirely different. You are part of the mother-baby dyad, and you have needs, too. AP should be about creatively meeting both your needs - not compromising baby's needs to fit mama's like mainstream 20th century parenting, but not completely sacrificing mama's needs when baby is otherwise fine.

There is no one best cloth diaper-you have to try different styles out in real life on a real baby and see what works for you. And even then, what works best will change as baby grows. I cloth diapered all my kids, and you can do it, too.
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#17 of 30 Old 07-14-2014, 12:32 PM
 
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@NewBrooklynMama - even though shindigs like baby showers CAN be a P.I.T.A, you just have to stay focused on the realistic reasons to have one, like stocking up on the supplies you actually will need. Of course you don't want to be flooded with nonsense stuff that OTHER people think you need, so it is kind of a chore but if you come up with a very specific list/registry that people can stick to, with items ranging all prices for those who can't afford too much but want to send something, then you'll end up appreciating the help.
I've been making my supplies list and I'm becoming a little stressed over the initial cost of cloth diapers + doublers + diaper covers. I know it'll save us money in the long run and I don't want to put those nasty bleached disposables on my child, but the initial investment is quite large (around $500 to have everything I need), so I'm hoping some of my family will offer to help out despite the distance between us. It'd be nice if a few people could gift us a few diapers, so that our cost isn't so high. If it's split between more people, we won't be asking that much from each person but it will mean HUGE SAVINGS for us, so I'm really hoping for help in that department. That and clothes. But diapers come before clothes lol... I can make cheap clothes but I do NOT want to tackle the challenge of making my own diapers yikes!
I went home to Texas for Mother's Day and announced my pregnancy, but I don't think I'll be able to visit again before baby comes since all of our funds are directed toward setting up for baby. We will see.. I'd love to make it home for thanksgiving or something but that's so close to my time to pop I don't think I'll want to travel. I hate flying! Already a few members of my family have made plans to visit us here in Oregon during the baby's first year though (in 2015) ..
@Galatea .. How many cloth diapers did you stock up with? Like, how many do I actually need, if I'm willing to do laundry daily? I read one website that sells them telling customers to have 30! I thought that seems like a heck of a lot, since I also read the average newborn only soils their diaper 10-12 times per day, and then it gets less and less as they grow older. Right now I am planning on 20, but I wondered what a seasoned cloth diapering mom would recommend?

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#18 of 30 Old 07-15-2014, 05:31 AM
 
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@Galatea .. How many cloth diapers did you stock up with? Like, how many do I actually need, if I'm willing to do laundry daily? I read one website that sells them telling customers to have 30! I thought that seems like a heck of a lot, since I also read the average newborn only soils their diaper 10-12 times per day, and then it gets less and less as they grow older. Right now I am planning on 20, but I wondered what a seasoned cloth diapering mom would recommend?
It is not advised to try to only have 12 diapers and wash every day because it will wear out the diapers much more quickly (the wash is where the wear and tear happens) plus it ends up being difficult to keep up with. 30 is for newborn to two months because they do use about 12 a day plus sometimes they poop a lot in a row and you can go through even more diapers, so 30 gets you two days with a backup at the beginning.

When they are older, unless you are using flats, you have to buy bigger diapers, so you can buy 20-24 and be fine then.
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#19 of 30 Old 07-15-2014, 07:43 AM
 
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We had close to 30 prefolds for the newborn phase and now have 24 pockets for the older phase. That amount worked well for us. Prefolds (or flats) are multiple-purpose and can be used over and over again for years as diapers, burp cloths, cloths for under babe during diaper free time, and they hold resale value well. While it's tempting to try to be minimalist when it comes to diapers, I would definitely not scrimp on the newborn set. You may be more exhausted than you think or your baby (like mine) might need to be worn constantly, making laundry challenging. And there will always be those times when you change a diaper and the baby immediately poops in the new one. I think Galatea is right that you'll need more for the newbie phase than you think. Thirty seemed like a lot to me, but I never felt like we had too many.
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#20 of 30 Old 07-15-2014, 09:06 AM
 
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The anus is a magic poop button in newborns. I can't tell you how many times I wiped a bum, only for more poop to come shooting out. That is why you always have a clean diaper underneath when changing baby. One time I went through 7 (!) diapers in two minutes while DS2 pooped like a fountain.

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#21 of 30 Old 07-15-2014, 09:38 AM
 
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Oh my goodness! That's hilarious and frightening all at once!

So do one-size fitted diapers not work? I'm trying to look into those so that they'll fit him at every stage, but I wanted to talk to people about which cloth diaper style has worked best for them?

Thank you so much @LilyTiger and @Galatea for your input! It's very helpful IM SUCH A NEWB!!

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#22 of 30 Old 07-15-2014, 09:45 AM
 
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I cloth diapered all 3 of mine and I never had more than 20 diapers in my stash. It is important to wash every 2-3 days at minimum and 20 was enough for us to go a full 2 days. I did use disposable diapers for the first week until all the meconium was out and baby had transitioned to breastfed stools. My pocket diapers lasted me through two kids and then I had to buy new diapers for my third (diapers only last so long!) and I bought econobum covers and prefolds from a going out of business sale. I got an entire stash (24 prefolds and 9 covers) for only $60. It was amazing.
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#23 of 30 Old 07-15-2014, 11:43 AM
 
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Which one-size fitteds were you looking at, @KatelynRose ? One-size can work, though in my experience the one-size pockets/AIOs don't start fitting until 12 lbs/6 weeks.

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#24 of 30 Old 07-15-2014, 03:37 PM
 
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@Galatea , I've been looking into the babee greens brand "growing greens one size diapers"
They are on the expensive side but they get incredible reviews on multiple blogs, so I'm still leaning toward buying them instead of other cloth diaper systems. Hopefully I can get the fam to chip in and send me diapers! Haha

Dang @Chapsie , that's a steal of a deal!

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#25 of 30 Old 07-15-2014, 03:46 PM
 
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@Galatea , I've been looking into the babee greens brand "growing greens one size diapers"
They are on the expensive side but they get incredible reviews on multiple blogs, so I'm still leaning toward buying them instead of other cloth diaper systems. Hopefully I can get the fam to chip in and send me diapers! Haha

Dang @Chapsie , that's a steal of a deal!
They are very nice. We carried them pretty early on and the owner is very professional and kind. I have not tried them on a NB, but you could use the inside doubler alone on a NB (though you would need a really snug cover or Snappi or pins.) They are extremely absorbent. I really only used them for nighttime for that reason - might have been overkill during the day - but it doesn't mean you cannot use them during the day, too. FYI, hemp/cotton fleece will not stay as soft as when you first get it, so have reasonable expectations about that. Their wool side-snap covers are very nice.
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#26 of 30 Old 07-15-2014, 03:50 PM
 
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These are very similar but a lot cheaper: http://www.happybabycompany.com/Kiss...tour_p_62.html You use a Snappi or pins instead of it having snaps, but that also means you get a perfect fit every time. There is no hemp, so it will stay softer. Also, the doubler does not come out as a NB diaper, but it will fit an average NB.
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#27 of 30 Old 07-15-2014, 05:23 PM
 
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@Galatea Wow! Thanks for the awesome tips! I appreciate the information, and the link to Kissaluvs!

I have so many more questions about items for baby, but I feel bad for flooding @NewBrooklynMama 's original post !!

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#28 of 30 Old 07-15-2014, 06:13 PM
 
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This might sound strange but what about a charity baby shower? If you don't want or need the items from a baby shower then have friends bring baby gifts that will be donated to a local CPC or similar. I know for us we went minimal with baby stuff and with breastfeeding, CD'ing and our other crunchy ways the few items we would have wanted or needed are not able to be bought in our area plus family and friends wouldn't have a clue how to pick them. I have also found from DD's shower in my pre-crunchy days when I used mainstream products that most baby shower gifts at least in my low income area are trinket type gifts - gift bags full of small random items like generic standard baby bottles, pacifiers, bibs, etc. Even when we used mainstream products these were items we didn't want or need! If I had to do it again I think I would suggest that I already had everything I needed for my baby but I'd love to help out other mamas and babies in the area then get family and friends together to collect items to donate to the center. Everyone can still celebrate and play with baby stuff that way but I don't have to keep the stuff. Because let's be honest... baby showers are about women that aren't having babies that want to buy and play with baby stuff.
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#29 of 30 Old 07-15-2014, 06:15 PM
 
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@Galatea Wow! Thanks for the awesome tips! I appreciate the information, and the link to Kissaluvs!

I have so many more questions about items for baby, but I feel bad for flooding @NewBrooklynMama 's original post !!
I didn't read through all the replies in the thread but I saw your post above mine. If you have questions and want help with baby stuff you can start your own thread if you'd like. The mamas here are great and I'm sure everyone could answer your questions and you'll get a lot more responses and opinions that way to help you out. Good luck with your baby!

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#30 of 30 Old 07-16-2014, 02:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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@Galatea Wow! Thanks for the awesome tips! I appreciate the information, and the link to Kissaluvs!

I have so many more questions about items for baby, but I feel bad for flooding @NewBrooklynMama 's original post !!
Ha, @KatelynRose , please don't worry about flooding the post, that is why it is here! And as I am new to all this too, any information at all is very helpful.
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