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#1 of 34 Old 07-09-2014, 06:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Finding out or not

We have our 20 week ultrasound scheduled for 7-18 which is coming up SO SOON. I can't believe I am so close to the half way point. This is number 3 for me so I feel like it has been a little less exciting with each step. Not that that is a bad thing. . .just different.

With my first we did not find out the gender. It was a total surprise! And a lot of fun.

With my second we found out the gender and felt more prepared. That was also fun but in a very different way.

With this one I am feeling very conflicted as to if we should find out or not. My 5 year old DD is convinced it is a girl and we are a little worried that if it is a boy she will melt down. Finding out will give her a chance to prepare herself. On the other hand this may be our last and the suprise would be kinda fun.

Also we have names picked for a boy and a girl but I am just totally unsure. Indecision is me!:dizzy

Any advice. People who have gone through this with an older child. Someone want to tell me I am being dumb and just make up my mind already?
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#2 of 34 Old 07-09-2014, 07:24 AM
 
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i never find out.... that is because i never do USs.... but when my ds2 was born dd was so upset she cried for several days.... i really dont know... this time we constantly telling her that it might be another boy and she seems fine i guess... but if i was to do US anyway I would surely want to find out! super-curiuos me 😊
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#3 of 34 Old 07-09-2014, 07:51 AM
 
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We have always found out, and we wanted this last time to be a surprise, but it didn't work out that way. I do wish it was a surprise, but either way, you're getting a baby!
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#4 of 34 Old 07-09-2014, 08:00 AM
 
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I don't have the patience to wait! I have always found out, too, and I find it is easier for me to bond with the baby prenatally once I know the gender!

But, as a delivery room attendant (newborn nurse), I can tell you that no one ever regrets waiting. It is always such happy surprise when the parents wait.

Either way, there are pros and cons and you can't go wrong. :thumb
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#5 of 34 Old 07-09-2014, 10:28 AM
 
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I have a girl and a boy and never had the patients to wait before. This time I wanted to since we already have one of each but my husband doesn't want to wait! My seat is 5 and she really wants a girl too. I think she will be ok either way.
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#6 of 34 Old 07-09-2014, 10:28 AM
 
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I have a girl and a boy and never had the patience to wait before. This time I wanted to since we already have one of each but my husband doesn't want to wait! My oldest is 5 and she really wants a girl too. I think she will be ok either way.

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#7 of 34 Old 07-10-2014, 06:02 AM
 
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I'm in your same situation and have no idea what to do. We didn't find out with our first because I really wanted a boy and thought I would handle the disappointment better at birth. She was a girl and perfect. We also didn't want a ton of gender specific clothing, so it made sense.

We lost a baby in January and for some reason that is making it much more difficult to wait. I also have VERY strong feelings that this is a boy (though I would be happy with another girl), but that makes me think I really need to find out because it would be really weird to have such strong boy feelings all pregnancy and find out it's a girl at birth.

My husband does not want to know. At all. And I'm totally terrible at secret keeping, so having me know and not him isn't really an option. Our 21 week scan is in three weeks so we have until then to decide. I'm really really torn.

Beautiful baby girl born 8/13/2012. Little star baby lost at 10 weeks pregnant, 12/18/2013. Currently due 12/13/2014 with a rainbow.
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#8 of 34 Old 07-10-2014, 06:18 AM
 
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we have always found out the gender - we like to pick the name and start calling the baby by its name before birth. This is the first time that I have a strong desire for a particular gender (hoping for another girl), so I'd rather find out sooner than later. But, I will say that being an older mother for my last 3 pregnancies, the "gender reveal" is really an after thought for me on the day of my ultrasound. I really want to find out that my baby is healthy!

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and expecting #5 on 12/24/14
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#9 of 34 Old 07-10-2014, 11:09 AM
 
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We didn't find out the sex the last 3 times and I loved it! Last night DH mentioned that he really wants to find out the sex this time, which disappoints me. I love the surprise, but he wants to know for room-sharing/planning purposes. Our anatomy scan isn't until August so hopefully he'll change his mind before then. The baby will be sleeping in our room for the first 9-12 months anyway, so it's not as if the room issue will be a big deal right away.

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#10 of 34 Old 07-10-2014, 07:46 PM
 
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I always thought it would be fun to wait until the baby is born, but realize I have no patience to wait! The harmony test I did confirmed it's a girl again. I'm actually glad to find out, so I can pick a name and prepare everything. I was hoping for another girl and was afraid I would be disappointed if it wasn't a girl.

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#11 of 34 Old 07-11-2014, 06:31 AM
 
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I always thought it would be fun to wait until the baby is born, but realize I have no patience to wait! The harmony test I did confirmed it's a girl again. I'm actually glad to find out, so I can pick a name and prepare everything. I was hoping for another girl and was afraid I would be disappointed if it wasn't a girl.
Congratulations!

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#12 of 34 Old 07-11-2014, 10:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for everyone's input. Unfortunately I still can't decide. One week from today I have to though. I am leaning towards finding out so that my kids can get used to the idea, but maybe we will just keep the secret in the family. . . .If it is a boy I am having a really hard time with names so either knowing that it is or isn't would help me out a lot. But I also do love the surprise. Ug.

Gretchen , Mom to DD (7/09) DS (7/11) Expecting #3 12-14
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#13 of 34 Old 07-12-2014, 03:25 AM
 
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Congratulations!
Thanks!!

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#14 of 34 Old 07-12-2014, 03:29 AM
 
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goster, when the time comes to decide, you might be surprised by what you choose. I was undecided about whether or not to find out last time, but during the anatomy scan, when my doctor asked me if I wanted to know, I blurted out YES without thinking. Only then did I realize I truly wanted to know. I was glad I found out early; my mother and dd's father had the rest of the pregnancy to get over their disappointment that she wasn't a boy.

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#15 of 34 Old 07-12-2014, 12:17 PM
 
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I'm not finding out this time. We didn't find out 3 other times and that moment the baby comes out and I learn the gender- there's just nothing like it! It's so so so much fun. The excited high from finally finding out the surprise and then announcing to the siblings- it's just awesome. It gives me euphoria. I've not found it to be nearly the same when I found out at ultrasound.

Good luck deciding.
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#16 of 34 Old 07-12-2014, 04:03 PM
 
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DH and I don't want to find out. This is our first (and perhaps only) baby and either way we are over the moon.

I overheard someone say "I want to know what to shop for" and I thought exactly. I have never been a very "feminine" lady so I feel it is good to let my kid figure out what they like on their own. We have gathered many gender neutral things and are coming up with names for either gender.

Most of all, we are excited to have our baby surprise us at first glance!
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#17 of 34 Old 07-13-2014, 06:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have never totally understood the whole shopping for pink or blue thing. Probably because I myself am not very girly. My kids lived in white onesies for a month anyway.
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#18 of 34 Old 07-13-2014, 06:33 AM
 
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I have never totally understood the whole shopping for pink or blue thing. Probably because I myself am not very girly. My kids lived in white onesies for a month anyway.
We didn't find out with our first precisely to avoid the influx of gendered clothing. We bought a few neutral onesies and got a ton of neutral hand-me-downs and that was great, especially for the first kid. It doesn't make sense to buy a whole new wardrobe if your next child is a different sex. I just never got it.

On a funnier note, we were in a grocery store when my daughter was maybe 5 months old and a woman told me how cute my son was. I cheerfully said, "she's a girl, but thank you. She's a lot of fun." The woman looked somewhat offended and said, "But she's wearing blue." Ummmm, that doesn't change her sex. She's still a girl. People are so weird.
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#19 of 34 Old 07-13-2014, 09:43 AM
 
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We didn't find out with our first precisely to avoid the influx of gendered clothing. We bought a few neutral onesies and got a ton of neutral hand-me-downs and that was great, especially for the first kid. It doesn't make sense to buy a whole new wardrobe if your next child is a different sex. I just never got it.

On a funnier note, we were in a grocery store when my daughter was maybe 5 months old and a woman told me how cute my son was. I cheerfully said, "she's a girl, but thank you. She's a lot of fun." The woman looked somewhat offended and said, "But she's wearing blue." Ummmm, that doesn't change her sex. She's still a girl. People are so weird.
How odd, about that woman! I don't see blue as a boy-only color.. I love the color blue it was my favorite when I was little I wore blue all the time. People can be SOOO narrow minded... :/ it's really weird.

I'm with you- I don't want to have to buy an entirely new wardrobe for each baby. Even though I know this one is a boy, I'm not planning on making everything strictly boy-themed. Neither JB nor I are into sports.. We like nature and animals, so if I do any appliquĂŠs or fabric painting I'll be doing animal themed prints.. And I plan to tie dye a bunch of onesies for his first year, and I think multicolor is gender neutral hahaha but who knows someone still might call him a girl for wearing rainbow. I just don't want to have so much to do/buy/prepare for when the next baby comes along. No way.

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#20 of 34 Old 07-13-2014, 12:16 PM
 
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Neither JB nor I are into sports.. We like nature and animals, so if I do any appliquĂŠs or fabric painting I'll be doing animal themed prints.. And I plan to tie dye a bunch of onesies for his first year, and I think multicolor is gender neutral hahaha but who knows someone still might call him a girl for wearing rainbow. I just don't want to have so much to do/buy/prepare for when the next baby comes along. No way.
We did a beautiful yellow/grey nursery that I just loved, which would have worked for either sex and my husband tricked it out with Olympics paraphernalia since he wants her to be an Olympic biathlete. Ha! So even sports shouldn't be considered gender specific anymore. But yes, people are super weird.

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#21 of 34 Old 07-13-2014, 12:30 PM
 
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@LilyTiger SO TRUE! I was a swimmer and JB loves swimming but never tried competitively, so we will surely be trying to get out babies into the water haha.. But yes even sports are gender specific anymore! I was just thinking of those little blue onesies they make with footballs and baseballs on them for little boys.. Or boys onesies that look like uniforms for different things.. But Olympics are awesome that's so cute!
It's funny.. Even heavy lifting isn't only for boys anymore. Go girls! Lol

Yellow/grey is one of my favorite combos! I'm just going for MULTICOLORS haha the more colors the better. Everything will match if it's multicolored hahaha that's my philosophy for baby at least. Plus we don't really have a room specified for the little guy where we are now, so I don't have a room to decorate or anything. Gives me one less thing to worry about, even if we are squeezed on space.

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#22 of 34 Old 07-13-2014, 01:44 PM
 
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i always thought i would want to wait and be surprised....but now that i'm pregnant with our 1st, i can't imagine waiting! i just really want to be able to go and buy cute things....i may change my mind after our 1st and decide to wait and be surprised. I just can't wait to find out!
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#23 of 34 Old 07-17-2014, 10:20 AM
 
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This is number 3 for me so I feel like it has been a little less exciting with each step. Not that that is a bad thing. . .just different.
This is how I feel too. Because of our ages (40 & 47) and the fact that there will be 4 yeas between our last child and this one, everyone assumed we were done. So telling was super exciting but now in many ways it is nothing special to the people around us and that is rubbing off on me, even I often forget I'm pregnant and feel that it's lost in the shuffle. Finding out the sex mid-way through creates a reason to celebrate and pay extra special attention to this baby.

With #1 , having my very own baby was almost an abstract concept and I rarely thought about the fact that "it" would actually be a boy or a girl. At birth, we didn't even look for several minutes, he was snuggling on my chest for quite a while before we remembered to hold him up to see! With #2 , I HAD to know. I really, really wanted a second boy and felt I needed to prepare myself if it turned out to be a girl. As soon as the tech said boy, I felt a huge wave of relief but also the feeling that I knew I'd be ready for a girl next time. This time around, I'll be overjoyed with either (though I guess I am secretly hoping for a girl).

We find out tomorrow and I CAN HARDLY WAIT!!!!!

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#24 of 34 Old 07-17-2014, 11:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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@JessieBird we find out tomorrow to. I think I have decided that finding out might be th kick I need to get a little more excited. . .now if I could just be less tired.

Gretchen , Mom to DD (7/09) DS (7/11) Expecting #3 12-14
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#25 of 34 Old 07-17-2014, 01:54 PM
 
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This is how I feel too. Because of our ages (40 & 47) and the fact that there will be 4 yeas between our last child and this one, everyone assumed we were done. So telling was super exciting but now in many ways it is nothing special to the people around us and that is rubbing off on me, even I often forget I'm pregnant and feel that it's lost in the shuffle. Finding out the sex mid-way through creates a reason to celebrate and pay extra special attention to this baby.

With #1 , having my very own baby was almost an abstract concept and I rarely thought about the fact that "it" would actually be a boy or a girl. At birth, we didn't even look for several minutes, he was snuggling on my chest for quite a while before we remembered to hold him up to see! With #2 , I HAD to know. I really, really wanted a second boy and felt I needed to prepare myself if it turned out to be a girl. As soon as the tech said boy, I felt a huge wave of relief but also the feeling that I knew I'd be ready for a girl next time. This time around, I'll be overjoyed with either (though I guess I am secretly hoping for a girl).

We find out tomorrow and I CAN HARDLY WAIT!!!!!
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@JessieBird we find out tomorrow to. I think I have decided that finding out might be th kick I need to get a little more excited. . .now if I could just be less tired.

Well, tomorrow will be exciting! What time and time zone will each of you being finding out/posting here?

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#26 of 34 Old 07-17-2014, 01:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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@Galatea we have our appointment at 3:20 cst. . . .pretty excited but also somewhat nervous not sure why. I don't have a preference toward boy or girl, we have one of each. Probably just excitement sneaking up on me.

Gretchen , Mom to DD (7/09) DS (7/11) Expecting #3 12-14
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#27 of 34 Old 07-17-2014, 01:57 PM
 
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@Galatea we have our appointment at 3:20 cst. . . .pretty excited but also somewhat nervous not sure why. I don't have a preference toward boy or girl, we have one of each. Probably just excitement sneaking up on me.
Ok, then I will stalk before dinnertime, then!

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#28 of 34 Old 07-17-2014, 05:26 PM
 
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Well, tomorrow will be exciting! What time and time zone will each of you being finding out/posting here?
Our appointment is 10:00 am EDT. Not sure how I'm going to sleep tonight. I'm looking forward to hearing your news too, @goster !

Happy mumma to my boys Henny Tom (Nov 30, 2008), Arlo Odie (Oct 5, 2010), and baby SISTER! due mid-Dec 2014.
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#29 of 34 Old 07-18-2014, 10:48 AM
 
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Well OMGosh it's a GIRL!!! DH and I are stunned! and thrilled!!! and scared!!! I have three brothers, thirteen male cousins (no girls), and two nephews, no nieces, so I never thought it possible to bring a girl into this generation of our family. I have no experience with little girls at all so I'm a bit terrified but deliriously happy too. What a wonderful addition to our family. I am so, so happy that we found out.

Best of all, she looks to be healthy and developing well.

Looking forward to hearing your news, @goster . I hope that finding out is a really positive experience for you.
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#30 of 34 Old 07-18-2014, 10:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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@JessieBird that is great news. In so many ways girls are easier than boys at least throughout the early years.

So funny thing with mine. My kids and husband all think it is a boy and I was kind of on board with that until last night when I had two dreams that it was a girl. Now I don't kow what to think. I suppose I only have a few hours left before I find out.
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