Calling all experienced home-birth mamas! I have many questions... - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 31Likes
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 46 Old 07-17-2014, 03:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
KatelynRose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 379
Mentioned: 18 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 33 Post(s)
Question Calling all experienced home-birth mamas! I have many questions...

So I have realized by now that I am lucky enough to have found a thread full of experienced homebirthing mamas, and I need to take advantage of that by asking you guys a few questions. This is my very first time and I honestly have NO IDEA what to expect. Today I went on youtube to watch unassisted home births in order to get somewhat of an idea, but it also opened up so many MORE questions haha... I'm hoping the mothers who have done this before will be kind and help me out here.

I am still in disbelief that I will be giving birth in December. I'm sure it will feel more and more real once we get closer to our due dates, but right now I still feel like it's just a dream I'm living in.. just not quite real, since I don't even know what birth is like at all.

Okay, so, my questions:

- How did you give birth? Water birth (that's what I'm planning), or out of the water? If you did a water birth, what temperature was the water to be comfortable? I know there are heated tubs but I don't know if that's necessary.

- What position(s) did you find most comfortable during the different points in labor and birth?

- Is it painful the entire labor, or is it mostly painful when the head is coming out (that's how it seemed in the videos)? Any tips for easing pain?

- Did you practice meditating beforehand? Did it help? What type of meditations did you do? What other ways can I help myself relax and find my "center" during labor?

- When do they cut the umbilical cord? I know there is a certain amount of time they leave it intact, but I'm curious about how long that is? Do they tie it off first? I have a midwife but I am still curious about this.

- Does breathing any certain way help? Does it come naturally?

- Did you use coconut oil or olive oil down there beforehand to make things more pliable so you didn't tear? How'd that work out?

- Anything else in particular that you had during labor that helped you? Any other tips or tricks a first timer should know?

I APPRECIATE ANY AND ALL INPUT.
MamaNicole likes this.

In case you're curious about my status: I'm Kate, I spend every miraculous day with my darling soul mate JB and we are expecting our first baby (boy!) ...

Last edited by KatelynRose; 07-17-2014 at 03:56 PM. Reason: More questions.
KatelynRose is online now  
#2 of 46 Old 07-17-2014, 04:42 PM
 
SaraJB's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 8
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Hi! I'm a first timer too, also hoping for a home birth (due date 8th Dec) so can't answer any of these questions, but I will be following this thread I've been reading a load of birth stories and the thing that is most freaking me out is how long it seems to go on for - days and days for some people. I had no idea....

I am trying to keep as fit as possible to be as physically prepared as possible for possible days of endurance! So far walking, cycling (though probably not for long as I'm sure I'll start to feel unsafe soon), and planning to get started with yoga soon too.

I'm not sure whether to get hold of a birthing pool. I like the idea of a water birth, but our apartment is small and I feel like it will just be in the way, if it turns out I don't want to be in there. So much to think about! Thanks for starting this thread
SaraJB is offline  
#3 of 46 Old 07-17-2014, 05:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
KatelynRose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 379
Mentioned: 18 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 33 Post(s)
Hey @SaraJB it's nice to meet you! I know I've been overwhelmed with all the thinking I've been doing lately about babies and birth and preparations haha it's a good thing we still have time!
I will share with you- last year on October 17 my good friend gave birth to her first child in their tiny one bedroom apartment and she did a waterbirth in a tub. She said the tub was a godsend and she had an unbelievably easy birth that she attributes to being in the water.. That's what made me consider water birth in the first place. When I was in Beijing, I was told that all they do there are water births, because they believe it makes for calmer, happier babies. (I was told this when I questioned someone about how incredibly wonderful and calm their baby was behaving in the middle of a loud, bustling bar!)
SaraJB likes this.

In case you're curious about my status: I'm Kate, I spend every miraculous day with my darling soul mate JB and we are expecting our first baby (boy!) ...
KatelynRose is online now  
#4 of 46 Old 07-17-2014, 05:31 PM
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 672
Mentioned: 12 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 22 Post(s)
katelyn, they do water births in Beijing?? I live in Hong Kong, technically China, and home births are not legal here.

I didn't have a homebirth, but I was by myself when I gave birth in the bathroom of the hospital. I went to sit on the toilet because that was the most tolerable position I can find at the moment. Prior to that I was just walking around the room trying to find a position. My body was already pushing at that point, even though I thought I was just trying to have a bowel movement. Not sure how long I was sitting there, maybe 10-15 minutes? Then I felt a burning, and baby slipped out.

For me, the last hour of labor was the hardest. I wrote 'no anesthesia' on my birth plan, but by that time I was almost begging for pain relief. In hindsight, it was already transition so was almost over.

I listened to a hynobirthing CD for about 20 weeks. It helped me prepare mentally for labor and relieved the anxiety I had about it. I also visualized the birth every day. I practiced breathing exercises with emphasis on long exhalation, but most of it went out the window when labor intensified. I found myself concentrating on getting through one contraction at a time. Couldn't focus on anything more than that.

I did yoga every day that involved a lot squatting, and I think that helped the birth go faster.
KatelynRose and SaraJB like this.

single mama to dd (June 2011)
#2 due December 2014!
girlspn is offline  
#5 of 46 Old 07-17-2014, 06:42 PM
 
Bracha04's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 54
Mentioned: 8 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 11 Post(s)
Hi KatelynRose!

I gave birth at home in 2012. I also asked tons of questions and found again and again that each experience is unique and can change from one baby to another. I think that looking into your resources for birth preparation and doing what feels most intuitively right for you will prepare you the best. The most important bases to cover include:

Birth class - Find one that resonates with your needs. I took HypnoBirthing because I needed something uplifting and calming for my high energy personality. I hear that the hypnobabies method is also great for creating a relaxing mindset, incorporating calming and beautiful imagery and awesome affirmations. These methods are associated with easier and shorter labors. My experience was positive. My labor was easier with the tools and techniques taught in the class. Some couples love The Bradley Method, but I just studied the Bradley book and found that to be really helpful. The similar thread in these types of childbirth preparation methods is that they utilize progressive relaxation. Other options include classes that encourage an acceptance of pain (Birthing From Within) and focus on helping women find inner strength to move forward through the pain. In contrast, Hypnobirthing uses the word sensation or surges to describe contractions. I read the book, Birthing From Within, and found it to be incredibly informative, helpful in working through negative emotions and full of good suggestions, but the class was not appealing to me at all.

I personally found this to be the most important factor in my preparations other than reading. I didn't even access all of the resources during labor, but it was essential that I had mentally prepared and physically practiced the relaxation beforehand. Taking a good class helps build confidence and removes some of the mystery of labor. I felt increasingly happy and excited about contractions after the class. Positive thinking is a great tool for me in and of itself

Support team - I feel that, biologically, mammals need privacy and quiet when laboring. For most women, having friends and family (read: mother/mother-in-laws) who have not been trained to attend births, is very inhibiting and draws out the time of labor. Only bring those who make you feel relaxed and calm into your space. Tension inhibits progression. I loved my doula. It really helped to build an intimate relationship with a woman who nurtured me and knew how to help me feel comfortable during labor. She used her rebozo (an amazing labor tool. I recommend learning about how to use this with your husband for pregnancy and labor!) and had oils and tinctures to help. The acupressure point on my forehead kept me centered and focused during pushing. Not everyone needs or wants a doula for a homebirth, but for me it was essential. She was there when I needed that type of care and gave me space when it was needed too.

Reading lots of materials - Ina May was helpful with tips and information about coping with labor, like low noises help you open, kissing during contractions, keeping the birth space calm and relaxed, letting women find their space to labor in their own way, and providing encouragement through many different real stories. Childbirth Without Fear by Read was mentioned in so many natural birth materials that I finally read it too. It was great for providing insight into one man's realization that not all women feel pain when giving birth. Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering was also essential. I loved her book. Birth Your Way by Kitzinger was very informative with good suggestions for homebirth preparation. Dr. Sears was the first natural birth book I picked up. I cried when I read his wife's personal birth experiences. I wanted that SOOO much for myself. There are tons of good resources. Read as many as you can find!

Relaxation and Diet - Also, in regards to what contractions and pushing will feel like, there are a few things I can share. I learned that the uterus is an incredibly strong muscle. Muscles need blood when they contract. In order for this blood flow to the uterus to be properly facilitated a few things need to occur. Most women focus inward during contractions, allowing her brain to slow down. The thinking functions are not as active and (especially when in water) her extremities tend to go limp and relax. The more a woman can release tension, the more blood her uterus receives, and the more efficient and comfortable her contractions may be. In contrast, if a woman is tense, scared and feeling the fight and flight sensations, her uterus will have more limited blood flow and less efficient contractions. This is a biological fact. Additionally, when external muscles tense around the uterus, they are fighting against it and this often creates more pain sensations. Thus, the importance of labor preparation and keeping a calm, stress free birth environment. Vitamin C, Red Raspberry Leaf Tea and following some version of The Brewer Diet also build a strong and more effective uterus often resulting in shorter more pleasant labor experiences. The Brewer Diet is associated with preventing many pregnancy complications too! I had pre-eclampsia twice before working on my diet.

Contractions were actually pleasant for me with the HypnoBirthing techniques. They were the most pleasant when I went into my bathroom and I was completely alone! Around 6 cm (only exam I had was the one I gave myself!) I had a pinching pain and my doula used the rebozo and belly lifting to alleviate it. One really good belly lift resolved the baby's positioning issue and the pinching completely went away. I realize that my posture may have contributed to this. I am working on my posture for positioning this time. This website is popular for helping with baby's position before and during labor - http://spinningbabies.com/ The pushing is pleasurable to some women. Even orgasmic. Some women don't like this phase. It really depends. Here is a video I really liked watching to have positive imagery for the pushing sensations:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brsWCStKC7c

For me, it felt like vomiting in reverse, but still amazing to feel him enter the canal and emerge from my body. It was really amazing. Again, reading and the birth class helped me prepare for this. Most women who touch their babies as they emerge don't tear. I always slow down for the final stage and let the baby slide out without forcing the head through. I think this helped me. I never rubbed oil or stretched with anything before either.

The cord can stay on for as long as you want! Some people practice lotus birth with the cord and placenta intact until natural separation occurs. I only wanted to wait until the blood was done pulsing. It was awesome. When they are born they can have 30%-50% of their blood in the placenta since they were being slightly compressed in the birth canal (very healthy for them in so many ways and it clears their lungs from what I understand). I think that after the first 3-5 minutes post birth 80%-90% of the babies blood is in their own bodies in most babies. My baby was so quiet when he was born. He was a beautiful pink though and very alert, still getting oxygen from his placenta, so I wasn't worried. He looked at me, then after a few minutes peed, pooped and began nursing

In summary, my best tools were the birth class, respectful and nurturing birth team who knew how to provide comfort, my bath tub , privacy and LOTS of quiet. Interestingly, during the ninth month I would oscillate between feeling confident and excited to nervous about everything. Once labor began, I was overcome with excitement, but still had hundreds of questions for my doula and midwife about the early labor experience. I asked tons of questions throughout pregnancy too just like you and I think that helped a lot. Once deep in labor land for the last part of labor, I wasn't thinking at all, just doing and felt so loved and safe the whole time! I hope you also have a meaningful and beautiful birth experience!
SaraJB likes this.
Bracha04 is offline  
#6 of 46 Old 07-17-2014, 09:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
KatelynRose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 379
Mentioned: 18 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 33 Post(s)
Thank you @girlspn for sharing your experience!
The man I was talking to told me that it was a water birth but in the hospital. He was a British man with a Chinese wife and they had two very well behaved, calm children (one toddler, one baby). He said it was his understanding that they do all of them that way, but it may have been at a particular hospital that they went to. I am pretty sure home births are illegal there, too.

Oh my goodness @Bracha04 , your response is WONDERFUL thank you thank you! I think we must have similar personalities, I am also quite high energy and I need help learning to relaxxxx (hence my questioning about meditations, etc.) Since reading your response, I have just downloaded a few hypnobirthing tracks to listen to, and I will probably buy the book as well. I am trying not to OVERLOAD myself with TOO much information (I tend to do that with everything), but I do want to feel more prepared than I am now. I know I need to trust my body to do what it was made to do... I also just started downloading some birth affirmations to listen to so I am 'programmed' beforehand, in a sense. I read somewhere that labyrinths are used to train pregnant women and get them ready for the "labyrinth" that is birth... going into your center and coming back out gracefully, knowing that you can't be preoccupied with the amount of time it's taking to get there.
(I just found the link in my bookmarks in case anyone following this thread is interested, it's at sacredpregnancy.com, the article is called "Labyrinth as a Birth Symbol" ... also I found this page on How To Make A Labyrinth )

Thank you for the link to spinningbabies.com .. it's funny I got to that page when I looked up rebozo before I even got down to the part where you posted the link! I will definitely be trying that with JB. I talked to him about it as soon as I read your reply and he is excited to be able to help out. I told him I'm going to make him watch a good few videos first hahahaha and that he will have to listen to me when we start out so he knows what feels right, but I trust him to figure it out. We just do not have the money to hire a doula, or else I probably would. It sounds heavenly.
What an inspiring video!!! I am definitely going to watch it with JB when he wakes up, too. Very positive!
Thank you again for the wonderful information you have shared with me, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it! It's like a treasure trove...

In case you're curious about my status: I'm Kate, I spend every miraculous day with my darling soul mate JB and we are expecting our first baby (boy!) ...
KatelynRose is online now  
#7 of 46 Old 07-18-2014, 06:29 AM
 
Galatea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 7,166
Mentioned: 36 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 38 Post(s)
I have had two HBs, one water and one not.

- How did you give birth? Water birth (that's what I'm planning), or out of the water? If you did a water birth, what temperature was the water to be comfortable? I know there are heated tubs but I don't know if that's necessary.

If you do a water birth, you need the water to be at or above body temp. DH kept ours at about 102. You can use a floating fish tank thermometer. It needs to be warmer than the body because if the baby is born into cold water, it might stimulate him to take a breath under water. I did not like my water birth. First, it was gross. You will poop and pee and bleed into the water. They say to have a net to scoop out poop, but I had very soft poop that could not be scooped. So gross. And DH had to drain and bail it afterward. He said it looked like the bathtub scene at the end of The Silence of the Lambs. Plus, though the water did kill all the labor pain, it kept me so still and comfortable that I never needed to move into a better position to push, and I pushed DS3 out while sitting, which was painful and got me a huge hemorrhoid. With DD on dry land, any poop was quickly whisked away, and I had to move into good positions for delivery. I ended up on my knees with my upper body on the couch, and I could actually feel her body swing into OA position for birth. Much better. Plus, once she was out, I could just turn over and lie down. Getting out of the tub with a cord and baby and being tired was not easy.

- What position(s) did you find most comfortable during the different points in labor and birth?

Active labor, hands and knees, upper body supported on couch. Early labor, upright, swaying hips.

- Is it painful the entire labor, or is it mostly painful when the head is coming out (that's how it seemed in the videos)? Any tips for easing pain?

Contractions were not painful during most of labor - I just forced myself and body to relax and breathe through them. Tensing any part of your body makes it hurt worse. Transition is painful, and I always start saying, "I don't wanna, I can't do this," which just means that it's almost over. In fact, the last time, DH actually laughed at me when I started that nonsense, because he knew it meant it was almost over. Pushing past the ears burns, but then it's downhill from there.

- Did you practice meditating beforehand? Did it help? What type of meditations did you do? What other ways can I help myself relax and find my "center" during labor?

I didn't meditate, as I naturally go into a weird trance state while in labor, but I did learn all the ways to keep relaxed, including loose mouth and throat and face, progressive muscle relaxation, swaying, making only low-pitched sounds, etc. It helps to have someone remind you of these ideas if you cannot remember.

- When do they cut the umbilical cord? I know there is a certain amount of time they leave it intact, but I'm curious about how long that is? Do they tie it off first? I have a midwife but I am still curious about this.

My last two kids' cords pulsed for over an hour, so we let them. You have to tell the midwife what you want.

- Does breathing any certain way help? Does it come naturally?

Yes, slow, deep breathing helps. Any fast breathing that is panicky will make the pain worse. You have to trick yourself into not panicking by not letting your body activate any of its sympathetic freakout responses. It comes naturally if you study ahead of time.

- Did you use coconut oil or olive oil down there beforehand to make things more pliable so you didn't tear? How'd that work out?

No. I got skid marks with all my kids, but no tears.

- Anything else in particular that you had during labor that helped you? Any other tips or tricks a first timer should know?

It's all about not working yourself into a panic. Once you let yourself get upset, it's very hard to recover. Read and learn as much as you can about the natural process of birth. Ina May Gaskin and Bradley method books are best for this. I actually did NOT watch videos because I didn't want to feel like I had to do it in a certain way. And in early labor, remember that will likely take a long time for a FTM, so take a Benadryl and go to bed while you can.
KatelynRose, SaraJB and TweedleZee like this.

DS1 2004 ~ DS2 2005 ~ DD1 2008 ~ DS3 2010 ~ DD2 due Dec. 2014
On hospital bedrest for pPROM since 23 weeks
Galatea is online now  
#8 of 46 Old 07-18-2014, 10:12 AM
 
SaraJB's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 8
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Wow. These answers are so detailed and helpful. Thank you!
SaraJB is offline  
#9 of 46 Old 07-18-2014, 10:56 AM
 
Chapsie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 913
Mentioned: 40 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 26 Post(s)
I have three kids: the first was a hospital induction for oligohydramnios that turned into a cesarean for posterior presentation. (so much heartache with this birth).

Second was a natural hospital birth. I used hypobabies home study course to learn deep self hypnosis techniques so I could avoid an epidural. (I wanted as natural of a birth as possible to avoid another cesarean). I was so deeply relaxed with hypnobabies that I labored at home by myself (my husband was sleeping) for hours in and out of the shower until I just felt so tired and wanted to know how much progress I had made. It was intense work and it took lots of concentration to stay so relaxed. We arrived at the hospital 20 minutes later and the front desk staff couldn't tell I was in labor. The midwife checked me and I was 9.5 cm!! I pushed out my 9 lb 7 oz baby girl 45 minutes later. It was the most intense experience of my life but also the most exhilarating!

My third birth was a home water birth. It was absolutely wonderful. I was surrounded by such loving people and it was quiet and quick and so surreal. (My baby was just born at home?? what?? and now I can lay down in bed and just go to sleep? This is amazing!) I still get giddy when I look at the exact spot in my bedroom where she was born.

To answer your questions:
" How did you give birth? Water birth (that's what I'm planning), or out of the water? If you did a water birth, what temperature was the water to be comfortable? "

I had a water birth. The water felt SOOOOO GOOD!!! I started pushing prematurely at the end of contractions involuntarily and my midwife made me walk around the house to speed dilation so I wouldn't push on an undilated cervix. The entire time (only like half an hour) I kept LONGING to go back in the water!!! The water was so relieving. It was so easy to change positions, I felt light and buoyant, and I was able to "catch" my own baby and have a nice relaxing undisturbed snuggle with her afterward for almost an hour. Also... the "ring of fire" is MUCH more tolerable in the water than land birth.

Temperature should be between 95 and 100 degrees. I found it most comfortable at 98 degrees. When they warmed it up, it was too hot for me. Here is from Waterbirth international's website: "Water should be monitored at a temperature that is comfortable for the mother, usually between 95-100 degrees Fahrenheit. Water temperature should not exceed 101 degrees Fahrenheit as it could lead to an increase in the mother's body temperature which could cause the baby's heart rate to increase." We used a floating ducky thermometer and just put boiling water in as needed. My labor was only 3.5 hours long, so it didn't lose much heat. I think its like .5-1 degree an hour that it loses? Maybe??

- What position(s) did you find most comfortable during the different points in labor and birth?
Standing and swaying during labor for sure. Laying down is torture. Sitting hurts. Walking... dancing...swaying... upright and active is the way to go!! For pushing, I naturally found myself kneeling.

- Is it painful the entire labor, or is it mostly painful when the head is coming out (that's how it seemed in the videos)? Any tips for easing pain?

Labor is not "painful" like a broken bone or paper cut is painful. It is a productive pain. it is not a sharp "oh my gosh, something is wrong" pain. It is intense and a lot of pressure. Muscle cramps. Tightening. What I love about labor is that it develops a predictable pattern so that you can "master" the contractions. You can expect when the next one is coming and you can expect when it will peak and be over. I won't lie and say it is an easy or pleasant experience, but it is very manageable if you are mentally prepared for it. I HIGHLY recommend hypnobabies!!! Pushing is actually my favorite part because you can actually DO something. It is so exhilarating to feel your baby come down and out! IMO, the actual contractions don't hurt as much when they are pushing contraction and not labor contractions. Crowning is intense and interesting sensation-wise, but it is over with quickly. My two vaginal births were 9 lb 7 oz and 8 lb 12 oz babies with 14.5 inch heads (BIG) and my first had just a tiny first degree tear from her 15" belly popping out quickly and I had an intact perineum with my water baby. Like I said, the ring of fire doesn't hurt as badly in the water as it did on land. DEEP relaxation is key to reduce tension which reduces pain. Keep your hands, jaw, eyebrows all loose and relaxed. Don't tense your body.

- Did you practice meditating beforehand? Did it help? What type of meditations did you do? What other ways can I help myself relax and find my "center" during labor?

HYPNOBABIES!!! (not hypnobirthing-- that didn't work for me. Hypnobabies is the best. It seems cheesy at first, but I'm telling you, it is so effective if you let it be effective for you!)

- When do they cut the umbilical cord? I know there is a certain amount of time they leave it intact, but I'm curious about how long that is? Do they tie it off first? I have a midwife but I am still curious about this.

My third baby (my home water baby)'s cord was pulsing at 12 minutes after birth and my placenta was born 17 minutes after birth. we didn't cut the cord until 52 minutes after birth (we just put the placenta in a bowl that floated in the tub)

- Does breathing any certain way help? Does it come naturally?
Deep breathing for good oxygenation. (No hyperventilating). in and out slowly. Relax the pace of your body (breathing, heart rate) and it helps you to relax. Don't think about it too much. Just do what comes naturally. Drift into "labor land"

- Did you use coconut oil or olive oil down there beforehand to make things more pliable so you didn't tear? How'd that work out?
With my first vaginal birth, I did perineal massage and I think it did help. My midwife used olive oil during crowning to massage and stretch everything. Like I said-- BIG baby and only a tiny tear. I didn't do anything with my second and I had an intact perineum.

- Anything else in particular that you had during labor that helped you? Any other tips or tricks a first timer should know?

Just enjoy the process! Know that your body was made to do this work and it knows what to do. Do not let any negative messages about childbirth into your mind. Only allow people who are TRULY supportive into your birth space.
girlspn and KatelynRose like this.

RN, IBCLC. DS is 5, DD1 is 4, DD2 is 1! DD3 due in December!
Chapsie is offline  
#10 of 46 Old 07-18-2014, 10:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
KatelynRose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 379
Mentioned: 18 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 33 Post(s)
(Haha @Galatea always coming to my aid! Like a mothering encyclopedia it's awesome)

Thank you so much for being so thorough, it is very helpful and reassuring to have this advice from those who've been there before!

Whoops I posted at the same time as you @Chapsie ! I'm excited to read your input...
THANK YOU EVERYONE POSTING THANK YOUUU

In case you're curious about my status: I'm Kate, I spend every miraculous day with my darling soul mate JB and we are expecting our first baby (boy!) ...
KatelynRose is online now  
#11 of 46 Old 07-18-2014, 10:58 AM
 
Chapsie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 913
Mentioned: 40 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 26 Post(s)
Oh... and as far as water birth being gross... I really didn't think so! No poop for us and I actually felt very "clean" when we got out of the tub. I loved it and will totally do it again.
KatelynRose likes this.

RN, IBCLC. DS is 5, DD1 is 4, DD2 is 1! DD3 due in December!
Chapsie is offline  
#12 of 46 Old 07-18-2014, 11:48 AM
 
Ekatherina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Lebanon
Posts: 820
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
my two advices in addition to all said above are dont ever forget to pee and eat dates during labor. during my first one i forgot to pee at some point and they had to drain it in the hospital.
KatelynRose likes this.
Ekatherina is offline  
#13 of 46 Old 07-18-2014, 03:34 PM
 
Bracha04's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 54
Mentioned: 8 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 11 Post(s)
KatelynRose,

I think I agree with Chapsie that hypnobabies is more thorough than HypnoBirthing. They even offer an online course. Even though I loved HypnoBirthing and it worked for me, but only when combined with other materials like Ina May and Bradley Method books, if I had known about hypnobabies it might have been my choice as well. I hear a lot of good stories from those who take the course. I believe that it's really important to take an effective birth class for the difference the preparation makes in such a transformative and important moment in your lives. This comes from a mom who didn't take a birth class until her fifth pregnancy! Better late than never, what can I say!

I'm glad Ekatherina wrote about eating, drinking and peeing in labor! I had lintel soup and green tea with honey and lemon in labor. It's really important to empty your bladder once every hour for more effective contractions. I would not have remembered any of these things if someone had not reminded me though!
Chapsie and KatelynRose like this.
Bracha04 is offline  
#14 of 46 Old 07-18-2014, 04:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
KatelynRose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 379
Mentioned: 18 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 33 Post(s)
@Bracha04 & @Chapsie - I'd LOVE to do the hypnobabies, but it might be out of our budget. I could maybe do the home-study program.. I did find a few YouTube videos that I turned into mp3s to listen to that introduce concepts of hypnobabies but they aren't super thorough. It sounds like a wonderful course! The one here in Portland charges $400 for 6 classes and all of the materials. The online version is about $150, so much more do-able.

Oh yes, I'm glad you guys are talking about what you ate/drank during labor! I know it's important to stay hydrated and nourished ..

In case you're curious about my status: I'm Kate, I spend every miraculous day with my darling soul mate JB and we are expecting our first baby (boy!) ...
KatelynRose is online now  
#15 of 46 Old 07-18-2014, 05:16 PM
 
Bracha04's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 54
Mentioned: 8 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 11 Post(s)
I would talk to the hypnobabies instructor about your financial constraints. Sometimes they are able to work something out for you. Otherwise, the online course sounds like a great option!

Also, doulas will offer reduced rates or free services on occasion when they can for their clients' financial considerations. Doulas who have completed their birth training are often looking for births to attend to finish their certification. Doulamatch.net is a great resource to explore doulas in your area if you are interested. Just make sure you REALLY like and feel comfortable with them if you hire one!
KatelynRose likes this.
Bracha04 is offline  
#16 of 46 Old 07-18-2014, 06:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
KatelynRose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 379
Mentioned: 18 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 33 Post(s)
Wow, thank you for those suggestions! I have already found at least one doula there that I can contact to try to work something out with, so I'm very excited! It would be incredible to have a knowledgable, caring doula present at birth to calm my anxieties...

In case you're curious about my status: I'm Kate, I spend every miraculous day with my darling soul mate JB and we are expecting our first baby (boy!) ...
KatelynRose is online now  
#17 of 46 Old 07-20-2014, 08:25 AM
 
Chapsie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 913
Mentioned: 40 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 26 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by KatelynRose View Post
@Bracha04 & @Chapsie - I'd LOVE to do the hypnobabies, but it might be out of our budget. I could maybe do the home-study program.. I did find a few YouTube videos that I turned into mp3s to listen to that introduce concepts of hypnobabies but they aren't super thorough. It sounds like a wonderful course! The one here in Portland charges $400 for 6 classes and all of the materials. The online version is about $150, so much more do-able.

Oh yes, I'm glad you guys are talking about what you ate/drank during labor! I know it's important to stay hydrated and nourished ..

I used the homestudy course as there is no in-person class in my area. I felt very prepared with just the home study course!!! It takes at least 6 weeks and should include daily practice, but it teaches you how to immediately enter deep self hypnosis and turn your "mental lightswitch" into the "center" position (you'll know what that means if you take the course!) so you can open your eyes, walk, and talk, while being deeply relaxed. I was fully aware of everything around me during my two hypnobabies births. You learn to create "hypnoanesthesia" which really and truly does work to take the edge off. Like I said... I was 9.5 cm on admission to the hospital with my first natural birth and the unit clerks didn't think i was in labor! The midwife said: "I thought you were 2 cm... 5 at the most! but 9.5???!!!! GOOD JOB!!!" That was totally hypnobabies!!! My second hypnobabies birth was harder to stay deeply relaxed because it was much faster (about 3.5 hours and I went from 6cm to baby out in about 45 minutes so it was really intense and hard to stay relaxed) but it still really helped. The home study course is a complete prenatal education course that discusses everything-- nutrition, breastfeeding, how to choose a care provider, stages of labor, what to expect, etc, in addition to hypnosis training. I have taken several prenatal education courses and actually TEACH prenatal education, so when I say this is a top notch prenatal course, I mean it personally and professionally.


And yes-- eating and drinking and peeing in labor! Keep that energy up! I had a banana and emergen-c during my home birth and chugged apple juice during pushing with my first VBAC. Peeing often will also help the baby have a clear path for descending into the pelvis!
KatelynRose likes this.

RN, IBCLC. DS is 5, DD1 is 4, DD2 is 1! DD3 due in December!
Chapsie is offline  
#18 of 46 Old 07-21-2014, 10:35 AM
 
zjande's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: on the dusty homestead
Posts: 5,224
Mentioned: 19 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 24 Post(s)
Birthing is such a very personal thing, every woman will have a different experience. I think the most important thing is that you are allowed and encouraged to move around and find your own birth groove. Some will choose water, some lying on a bed, some on a birth stool, some crammed into the most out of the way corner in the building. Walking, swaying, bouncing on a birth ball. Some women like touching and talking to through out, some can't stand it.

For me personally, I can't stand laboring in water! Isn't that funny. I am just not a water birther at all. Also, I squat during every contraction, then stand. When hard labor has hit, I squat or kneel while pulling hard on the edge of the bathroom sink (I absolutely have to be pulling hard on something during every contraction from the beginning, even if it's just my partners hand/arm).

I could never ever ever have a "loose open mouth" during contractions. I bite down hard, sometimes on a pillow or towel. I've never taken a birth class or hypnobabies or anything, but I have read about 80zillion birth stories which is what helps me get my brain wrapped around birth. I have some favorite laboring quotes, but I accidentally came up with the chant that works for me. When I hit transition and the pushing stage ( which I personally despise- the pressure and burning of the pushing part is by far my most unfavorite), I find myself chanting in my head " the only way out is through, the only way out is through...". As in, the only way out of this horrendous pain is THROUGH it, so PUSHHHH!!!! And I do. And then the very moment the baby is out, there is nothing but euphoria. Overwhelming, powerful joy. The pain is over, and it was all worth it.

During pushing, I like having a very hot wet washcloth I can shove against myself to help ease the pressure and burning of Baby's head. I like to be crammed in a dark corner, and can't stand music or being touched or talked to during contractions. I eat nuts and dried fruit through out labor, and suck on ice cubes I've made out of RRL tea. But I spit them out during every contraction. Lol

Never done any perineal massage. That sounds painful! I've not torn during a birth, but did have a gigantic unnecessary episiotomy with my first. Wow that hurt during healing!

I can't recommend reading birth stories and watching birth videos enough. I really think that can help make birth seem less scary because you've become so accustomed to it through reading/watching.

❤️❤️❤️
MamaNicole and KatelynRose like this.

North Idaho rural living  mama to: 23 yo DD, 16 yo DS, 8 yo DS, 6 yo DS, 4 yr old DS, 2 yo DD, and 1 yo DS. And someone new coming this Christmas!
zjande is online now  
#19 of 46 Old 07-22-2014, 07:23 AM
 
3surfboys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: VA
Posts: 318
Mentioned: 9 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 12 Post(s)
I've enjoyed reading everyone's responses so far - and I agree with zjande that birth is a personal experience and for me there are differences with each birth. My first two were born in the hospital and my last two were home water births. My first was pitocin-induced and contractions were very painful and continuous with no breaks - luckily it was a fairly short labor and I was able to grit my teeth through the pain (being stuck in bed) - but once I was ready to push, the pain stopped, the pushing urge was enjoyable and I started smooching with my dh! I loved pushing out my first son. For my second, I switched to a midwife but stayed in the hospital. I barely made it to the hospital in time with a 2 hour labor and felt the pushing urge in the car. That time, pushing hurt like hell - baby was 2 pounds bigger at 9lbs, 8oz. My midwife said I probably would have had a car birth if the baby had been smaller like my first! So then with #3 we stayed at home with the same midwife. Talk about an intense birth experience. I was concerned about how quick my last labor had gone, so I called my midwife immediately when I went into labor at midnight. She came within 30 minutes. My dh and midwife quickly set up the birth tub in front of our fireplace with candles lit all around the room. She told me I could get in the tub shortly after 1am and I immediately felt the urge to push - in fact I was so amazed that I said "the baby's coming out!" It really felt spontaneous like I didn't have to do much at all - baby was born at 1:14am. Unlike Galatea, one of my first labor signs is the emptying of my bowels. Except for baby #1 , I have never had a BM during birth. The water doesn't get murky until the placenta comes out, and I usually get out shortly thereafter. I couldn't rave enough about water birth after baby #3 . For baby #4 , I had envisioned what my "dream birth" would be and it landed us outside on our "birth deck" at 4am giving birth in water, under the stars and moon - heavenly! I will say that the sensation of a baby slipping out of me did not occur for baby #4 - so my endorsement of water birth has had to change slightly - I was just so lucky with baby #3 My favorite position in labor is on all fours, leaning on a birth ball. During contractions, I try to fill my belly with air at the peak of a contraction, it seems to help with pain. Prenatal yoga is my main preparation for birth. One other wonderful thing that my midwife prepares is an herbal bath to soak in after the birth, it fills the home with lovely scents and feels amazing to the body. There are so many other great things about home birth that I can't name them all - but you should check to see if your community has a "birth circle" which is a monthly support group meeting - we have 2 in our area, one is specific to home birth and one is more for natural hospital birth - this is a great way to meet other mamas and ask lots of questions!
Also - if you'd like to see any pictures of my home births, I'd love to share them!
Chapsie likes this.

Laura ~ Mama to three wild and wonderful boys , our rainbow baby girl on 7/2/12 and expecting #5 on 12/24/14

3surfboys is offline  
#20 of 46 Old 07-22-2014, 10:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
KatelynRose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 379
Mentioned: 18 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 33 Post(s)
I really appreciate you all sharing your personal experiences, since I know it is different for everyone it is really wonderful to read all of the various experiences each of you have had, it really helps me get better prepared.

... @3surfboys I'd love to see your birth pics if you're willing to share!

In case you're curious about my status: I'm Kate, I spend every miraculous day with my darling soul mate JB and we are expecting our first baby (boy!) ...
KatelynRose is online now  
#21 of 46 Old 07-25-2014, 12:51 AM
 
maranapanda's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: San Fransisco Bay area, Northern California
Posts: 492
Mentioned: 7 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 11 Post(s)
These have been awesome responses! I'm too tired to share my stories, but I think these mamas have covered things beautifully!
maranapanda is offline  
#22 of 46 Old 07-25-2014, 08:40 AM
 
Chapsie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 913
Mentioned: 40 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 26 Post(s)
@3surfboys -- I'd also love to see pics! A birth deck sounds wonderful!! Too bad our babies are coming in Winter, otherwise, I'd totally look into an outdoor birth!
KatelynRose likes this.

RN, IBCLC. DS is 5, DD1 is 4, DD2 is 1! DD3 due in December!
Chapsie is offline  
#23 of 46 Old 07-25-2014, 11:39 AM
 
3surfboys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: VA
Posts: 318
Mentioned: 9 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 12 Post(s)
this is my first try at uploading pictures, hopefully they will show up. I had second thoughts about showing some of the more graphic pics The color pics are of my daughter's birth outside and the black/white ones are of my son's homebirth in Oct 2006. fyi - we don't have neighbors to the back - 400 acres of woods behind our house - we put up a tapestry that would block the only view that a neighbor might have had, but it was 4am and I'm sure they were sleeping oblivious of what was happening.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg z12.jpg (237.5 KB, 21 views)
File Type: jpg z18.jpg (231.0 KB, 23 views)
File Type: jpg skyla birth.jpg (197.4 KB, 21 views)
File Type: jpg z21.jpg (173.6 KB, 18 views)
File Type: jpg birthball.jpg (34.8 KB, 16 views)
File Type: jpg laboringtub.jpg (47.3 KB, 16 views)
File Type: jpg water18.jpg (56.7 KB, 16 views)
zjande and KatelynRose like this.

Laura ~ Mama to three wild and wonderful boys , our rainbow baby girl on 7/2/12 and expecting #5 on 12/24/14

3surfboys is offline  
#24 of 46 Old 07-25-2014, 01:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
KatelynRose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 379
Mentioned: 18 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 33 Post(s)
Thank you for sharing! The deck birth looks so wonderful! Too bad this time around it'll be extra cold outside haha.. Now I'm dreaming of an outdoor birth

In case you're curious about my status: I'm Kate, I spend every miraculous day with my darling soul mate JB and we are expecting our first baby (boy!) ...
KatelynRose is online now  
#25 of 46 Old 07-25-2014, 03:49 PM
 
maranapanda's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: San Fransisco Bay area, Northern California
Posts: 492
Mentioned: 7 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 11 Post(s)
I've always dreamed of an outdoor birth. The sound of the wind in the trees, and the fresh air to fill my lungs. Maybe this time I can just labor a little in my back yard? We'll see.
maranapanda is offline  
#26 of 46 Old 07-25-2014, 04:21 PM
 
Galatea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 7,166
Mentioned: 36 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 38 Post(s)
I wanted to do it outside last time as it was only September but the MW said it was too cold.

DS1 2004 ~ DS2 2005 ~ DD1 2008 ~ DS3 2010 ~ DD2 due Dec. 2014
On hospital bedrest for pPROM since 23 weeks
Galatea is online now  
#27 of 46 Old 07-25-2014, 05:43 PM
 
LilyTiger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,890
Mentioned: 14 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 24 Post(s)
I didn't have a home birth, but I had a natural hospital birth. My tips are to stay super super hydrated and pee A LOT and be prepared for anything. Even though I drank a ton of herbal tea and water the morning I went into labor, I ended up sweating and throwing up so much that I needed IV fluids. It was very frustrating, since I didn't want an IV lock at all. I was not expecting hydration to be an issue.

I generally found that being flexible is the best way to go. I was really happy that my Bradley class focused so much on pain management and different positions to labor in, because in the end I was extremely limited on labor positions because my daughter's cord was around her neck and she went into distress if I labored in any position other than hands and knees. I also had pretty terrible back labor, so for me the pain was incredibly intense until pushing. Pushing was a huge relief, because I could control it. I ended up pushing flat on my back, something else I hadn't planned for, but squatting and other "natural" positions felt terrible. All this is just to say: don't expect anything in particular. Everyone has totally different experiences and the best thing to do is to try to learn and practice a range of pain relief techniques, meditation (if that works for your personality), and have a range of strategies (heat, ice, water, counterpressure) available for you. I LOVED laboring in water, but I have friends who gave birth at home who didn't even use their pools in the end because it didn't feel right at the time, or labor was too short, or whatever. So the best plan is just to have a range of options open and available to you and you'll choose the ones that feel best at the time.

I printed out a birth "cheat sheet" with positions, pain management techniques, etc., and it was helpful for me to just sort of look it over while I was in early labor because it convinced me that I had done everything I could to prepare and that now it was my body's turn to just take over. And that's exactly what happened.

Beautiful baby girl born 8/13/2012. Little star baby lost at 10 weeks pregnant, 12/18/2013. Currently due 12/13/2014 with a rainbow.
LilyTiger is online now  
#28 of 46 Old 07-25-2014, 06:27 PM
 
momOplenty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 43
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
4 home births so far, planning on #5 here as well. hmm.. had one in water, three on land. go for the water!!! LOL. my last 2 came out before we could get a tub set up, and i'm so sad about that. we'll be setting one up at like, 30 weeks. screw it. i don't know about self-heating tubs? we had the inflatable birth things. they're awesome. just hook up some hose to your hot water heater. you know, other people do that, so i don't really know what all goes down.

the pain part for me was transition. 7cm of on was what one might call "intense". i screamed my head off, but that helped me, it's not for everyone. i also can't stand waiting on a baby to come out, so it gets about 2 good pushes, and they fall out. if it took longer, i'm not sure the next step. but i'm a horror giving birth. all the women in videos really have it together. makes me think i'm in the minority! lol.

i do not do well with people around me. this again, i think puts me in a minority. people really love their family, friends, assistants, doulas, husbands, etc. i'd rather be alone, in the dark, dealing with it, not being stared at. definitely not being smiled at. in fact, the last one i kept putting the midwife off, thinking i didn't want anyone near me til the end, i ended up just screaming for my bf to come catch when the baby came out. the mw was there about 15 minutes later. that was the best! i would do them all alone, but i'm not skilled enough to know how much blood is too much, how to sew my own taint, etc.

we did stretch out that business before hand with olive oil or something. it may have helped? no idea. have not torn yet. *knocks wood*

shoot, i can't scroll back up to see the other questions! i'm trying to remember. i guess i'm all about the dark and quiet, no distractions, just dealing with it all, making it go as fast as possible. however, i have no clue how common that is. i think i'm a loner. i'm also really modest, just b/c i'm gross naked (lol), so i think i'm more comfortable knowing everyone isn't seeing me like that.

positions! i remember that now. all fours for me. even in the tub with my second, they had me flip over and grabbed him from behind. i think it helps reduce tearing as well. as opposed to back. and cords... it was a while. the last couple i think i waited til the placentas were out before we bothered. they're a bizarre sack of stuff, but kinda neat. after birth, nothing is really gross anymore, so i just let that junk dangle off for half hour or an hour. sort of wanna do a lotus birth, but don't think i have it in me. lol.

well, my pregnancy brain has given up. sorry i can't remember more! i hope it helps at all. another side note- i am extremely squeamish, terrified of needles, etc. total wuss with pain. so, if that's any consolation, i have survived 4 home births.
3surfboys and KatelynRose like this.
momOplenty is online now  
#29 of 46 Old 07-28-2014, 09:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
KatelynRose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 379
Mentioned: 18 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 33 Post(s)
Man, after reading online materials about birth.. I'm really considering going unassisted....
Even if I did keep my midwife, I'm realizing that I wouldn't want to call til after the birth. I just don't want extra people starig at me. The only thing I am ever so slightly worried about is after the birth.. How to know how much bleeding is too much, etc.. But I feel like I can learn that myself and skip paying huge midwife fees..? I haven't fully decided yet, but reading about unassisted childbirth makes me very excited and gives me tingles all over.

In case you're curious about my status: I'm Kate, I spend every miraculous day with my darling soul mate JB and we are expecting our first baby (boy!) ...
KatelynRose is online now  
#30 of 46 Old 07-29-2014, 06:53 AM
 
3surfboys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: VA
Posts: 318
Mentioned: 9 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 12 Post(s)
@KatelynRose - have you not found a midwife that you connect with? I *love* my midwife, but she is a local legend and has a huge client-base. She is simply amazing. The prenatal/postnatal care is just as special if not more so than the time she spends with me at the birth. The only thought I had about unassisted birth was with my last pregnancy. We have a homebirth circle in town and there were more and more stories about our midwife being at other births when the mamas called her in labor, and she would either send her midwife assistant or prescribe wine to slow down labor (She ended up doing that with me at my birth). I had a heart to heart with my dh, because it does say in my midwife's contract that we would go to the hospital in the event that midwife could not make it - and I just didn't want to do that. Once you've had a home birth, you just don't want to go back. I do trust my body and the birth process, but things have happened at each birth that I really needed my midwife's guidance and expertise. Also remember that she will be doing a baby examination as well. If the fee is what's concerning you most, ask about payment plans. My midwife has been so understanding to families and I know she's let some payment plans go over a year after the birth.
I'm not trying to dissaude you or criticize unassisted birth - but there is much to consider.

Laura ~ Mama to three wild and wonderful boys , our rainbow baby girl on 7/2/12 and expecting #5 on 12/24/14

3surfboys is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off