Hey Ladies...I'm Delia...... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 07-24-2014, 02:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Talking Hey Ladies...I'm Delia......

Hey Ladies, I started following this group a couple of weeks ago and am finally finding some time to introduce myself. I was feeling a little helpless and alone in my pregnancy as I live in a foreign country & am totally homesick. I came across this group and just reading a couple of threads, really gives me the feeling that I am not going this alone. Of course my dh is fantastic and my MIL is fab too......but my husband cant quite appreciate exactly how I'm feeling or answer some of my questions/anxieties. Oh & the MIL somehow thinks that everything is exactly how it was when she had her 5 children....and as she has had 5 kids, then she is the expert on everything! It's funny though that when I have said on 3 seperate occasions over these past few weeks, that I am sooo tired.......her response is 'Why?' and 'Why are you so tired?' .......ummm Hello.....Pregnant lady here! I think she has fallen to the 'pregnancy amnesia' in which one completely forgets about all pregnancy related feelings/symptoms after a few years of last pregnancy.

So a little about me.......I'm 37, British (Welsh) and married a Swiss 4 years ago and so we moved to Switzerland 3 years ago. Although its a lovely country and his family are great....most of the time!...I feel so disconnected from everyone and have come to dislike the whole antenatal experience here. I have a 20 year old son (yes I was a young mommy....the ripe old age of 16!) My son is in the British Army......and I miss him terribly!

My journey to conceiving.........I have had some health issues and a few operations due to a condition, Uterus didelphis and Stage 4 Endometriosis. I was very lucky actually, as I was due to have my tubes and ovaries removed and had to have part of my intestines removed and would of had a colostomy bag......however when I awoke from the operation, I was ecstatic to learn that no colostomy bag and they left my tubes and most of ovaries in place so that I would not need HRT at my age (35 at the time) However due to low fertility and my tubes were too destroyed from Endometriosis, we had to go down the IVF route. Healthcare here in Switzerland is very expensive & IVF is even more so......so it has been financially stressful, especially for my dh.
Unfortunately with the first IVF cycle I miscarried in Feb 2014 and was so devastated. But...........After all the struggle and pain, we are so so so happy to be finally 19 weeks pregnant!!!! We had been TTC for over 2 years and still sometimes I can hardly believe that a little baby is growing right inside me....it still amazes me!

I was so young when I was pregnant with my son, that I didn't really pay attention to anything and I took everything in my stride.....I must say I wish I was as laid back about the whole experience this time around. We did not have any emphasis on information on the web as it was still quite a new thing and we did not have apps as we do now. I just had one book that I was given free at an antenatal appointment that I read and let my body take care of the rest. I am slightly envious of 16 yr old me, but somehow I cant stop myself from overloading myself with information......that somehow always leads me to the complications and worse case scenarios........why is that!!?

This pregnancy has been more stressful than my first though....I had some bleeding in 10th week, which totally freaked me out. I called the hospital and was told its normal and call back if I have bad pain. What the heck!....I'm freaking out here! I was not too amused with the midwives or doctors lack of compassion or understanding and the following day I insisted on an appointment, to check for a heart beat....although we couldn't find one with a doppler, the doc did an u/s and all was well
The preconception to being pregnant over the age of 35, coupled with IVF apparently causes for concern. We had tested as high risk for Trisomy 18 and the doctors pushed for me to have invasive procedures such as an amniocentesis. But after sticking to my guns, we agreed on regular u/s carried out by a chromosomal defect specialist.......and after a tough few weeks, we were given the all clear last week

Now all I have to worry about is the preeclampsia they have me as high risk for and so am taking aspirin daily for that. Fingers crossed we are plain sailing from here on out

I hope i have not babbled on too long haha.

I look forward to getting to know you ladies better and enjoying this journey with you
Delia
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#2 of 18 Old 07-24-2014, 05:31 AM
 
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Hi Delia,

Welcome! I am 36, too, and though I was 26 when my first was born, I too, feel the difference being pg young vs "old." It kind of sucks now, to be honest. I would try to ignore your MIL being silly, and just hope that she becomes useful by the time baby is born.

Can you visit England before you get too pg?

Sincerely,

Lilli
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#3 of 18 Old 07-24-2014, 08:40 AM
 
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Welcome and congratulations!

I too became pregnant when I was 16. My DD will be 23 in a few days. Your story gives me hope because she has also had a huge, complex surgery for her pretty severe endometriosis. It remains to be seen if her ovaries are still functioning.

My MIL is exactly the same! "Pregnancy amnesia!" Lol She says the same things to me as yours, and has told me more than once that " birth really isn't painful, I don't see why women are always making such a big deal of it". LOL! She had 4 children.

I would love to visit Switzerland! Have you visited the states?
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North Idaho rural living  mama to: 23 yo DD, 16 yo DS, 8 yo DS, 6 yo DS, 4 yr old DS, 2 yo DD, and 1 yo DS. And someone new coming this Christmas!
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#4 of 18 Old 07-24-2014, 10:50 AM
 
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Congratulations Delia and welcome!

I had preeclampsia during pregnancy too many years ago. Thanks to the tip of a good friend, fixing my magnesium deficiency and following the Brewer Diet corrected the issue. It might be something you could try. Best of luck!
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#5 of 18 Old 07-24-2014, 12:58 PM
 
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welcome!
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Laura ~ Mama to three wild and wonderful boys , our rainbow baby girl on 7/2/12 and expecting #5 on 12/24/14

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#6 of 18 Old 07-25-2014, 09:05 AM
 
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@DBurri Thanks for your intro! Glad to have you!! What is your due date? I can add you to our roster!
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RN, IBCLC. DS is 5, DD1 is 4, DD2 is 1! DD3 due in December!
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#7 of 18 Old 07-25-2014, 10:04 AM
 
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Welcome to the group @DBurri . You'll find that we all have unique stories and no judgement is cast here. Laid all out and join in!
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Me (32) - DH (38) - DS (6) - Atlanta, GA
Expecting #2 in Dec 2014


I blog: allthingsandlife.blogspot.com
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#8 of 18 Old 07-25-2014, 10:09 AM
 
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Welcome Delia!

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope you can make some good mama friends where you are. I had terrible homesickness last year during the holidays. And it can make you feel so isolated when everyone around you knows everyone else, but you are alone. I even missed bumping into acquaintances at the grocery store! Seconding the Brewer diet as a great way to prevent/counteract PIH and pre-eclampsia. My mother was dx with Pre-e and so I was induced a week early in the hospital. With her 2 subsequent pregnancies she did the Brewer diet and was able to have both my sisters safely at home. I am also a big birth nerd about reading as much as I can during each pregnancy, but mainly because I have done my own prenatal care. You might enjoy exploring the midwife archives. http://gentlebirth.org/archives/ The information is quite well organized on each topic with a ream of natural treatments and some discussion on each, plus links to relevant studies, and the quotes come from a variety of midwifery perspectives, including OB's who do backup and CNM's who practice in hospital as well as homebirth CNM and CPMs.

Blessings,
Alison
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#9 of 18 Old 07-28-2014, 11:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Galatea View Post
Hi Delia,

Welcome! I am 36, too, and though I was 26 when my first was born, I too, feel the difference being pg young vs "old." It kind of sucks now, to be honest. I would try to ignore your MIL being silly, and just hope that she becomes useful by the time baby is born.

Can you visit England before you get too pg?

Sincerely,

Lilli
Hi Lilli
Yes I hope too she will become useful.....but I'm sure she will at some point (positive thinking )

Yes I am going to the UK at the end of August I can't wait! We will drive there so we can shop for baby deals while we are there, as it's much cheaper there than here in Switzerland.

When is your due date and do you know the sex yet? I will hopefully find out on the 13th August....which can't come soon enough!
Delia

*******Feeling blessed******IVF Success****** Darling baby boy is due in Dec 2014*****
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#10 of 18 Old 07-28-2014, 12:07 PM
 
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I am due Dec 14 and it is a girl. She will make it two girls to three boys.

I am glad you get to visit and drive, too. So much better than flying. How long will it take?
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#11 of 18 Old 07-28-2014, 12:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by zjande View Post
Welcome and congratulations!

I too became pregnant when I was 16. My DD will be 23 in a few days. Your story gives me hope because she has also had a huge, complex surgery for her pretty severe endometriosis. It remains to be seen if her ovaries are still functioning.

My MIL is exactly the same! "Pregnancy amnesia!" Lol She says the same things to me as yours, and has told me more than once that " birth really isn't painful, I don't see why women are always making such a big deal of it". LOL! She had 4 children.

I would love to visit Switzerland! Have you visited the states?
Hi Zjande
Oh I feel for your daughter.......I really hope for her that all turns out good in the end and she too can conceive. It's such an under-rated condition and can be very hard emotionally as well as physically impeding. When did she have her operation?
Not painful..... Well lucky for her I guess if she can say that.....unfortunately for most other women I'm sure they agree that it was freaking horrendously painful.
No I've not been to the sates yet but I've always wanted to. It's definitely on the agenda for places to go in the not to distant future. Switzerland is a beautiful country and I would definitely recommend it. It can be pricey but with contacts like myself then I can steer you in the right direction
Delia

*******Feeling blessed******IVF Success****** Darling baby boy is due in Dec 2014*****
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#12 of 18 Old 07-28-2014, 12:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Bracha04 View Post
Congratulations Delia and welcome!

I had preeclampsia during pregnancy too many years ago. Thanks to the tip of a good friend, fixing my magnesium deficiency and following the Brewer Diet corrected the issue. It might be something you could try. Best of luck!
Hi Bracha
Thanks for the advice.....I'll take a look at it
Do you know if the diet is suitable for vegetarians?
Delia

*******Feeling blessed******IVF Success****** Darling baby boy is due in Dec 2014*****
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#13 of 18 Old 07-28-2014, 12:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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@DBurri Thanks for your intro! Glad to have you!! What is your due date? I can add you to our roster!
Hi Chapsie
I'm due 20th Dec ......I'm secretly hoping baby comes a week early or a week late
My son was born on 9th Dec and was 4 days overdue.
What is your dd?
Delia

*******Feeling blessed******IVF Success****** Darling baby boy is due in Dec 2014*****
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#14 of 18 Old 07-28-2014, 01:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome to the group @DBurri . You'll find that we all have unique stories and no judgement is cast here. Laid all out and join in!
Thanks s
I'm looking forward to getting to know others stories. There are so many previous threads, I don't think I can get to go through them to get upto date.

*******Feeling blessed******IVF Success****** Darling baby boy is due in Dec 2014*****
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#15 of 18 Old 07-28-2014, 01:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by crunchymama27 View Post
Welcome Delia!

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope you can make some good mama friends where you are. I had terrible homesickness last year during the holidays. And it can make you feel so isolated when everyone around you knows everyone else, but you are alone. I even missed bumping into acquaintances at the grocery store! Seconding the Brewer diet as a great way to prevent/counteract PIH and pre-eclampsia. My mother was dx with Pre-e and so I was induced a week early in the hospital. With her 2 subsequent pregnancies she did the Brewer diet and was able to have both my sisters safely at home. I am also a big birth nerd about reading as much as I can during each pregnancy, but mainly because I have done my own prenatal care. You might enjoy exploring the midwife archives. http://gentlebirth.org/archives/ The information is quite well organized on each topic with a ream of natural treatments and some discussion on each, plus links to relevant studies, and the quotes come from a variety of midwifery perspectives, including OB's who do backup and CNM's who practice in hospital as well as homebirth CNM and CPMs.

Blessings,
Alison
Hi Alison,
Thanks for your reply and the info. I'll take a look at the midwives archives....I really like to feel informed as much as possible. I'll take a look at the brewer diet too s
I do feel very isolated at times, it's a horrible feeling at such a crucial time as pregnancy. It's funny you say that you miss bumping into acquaintances, I miss that too....I miss even just knowing where to go to get small tid bits and so. Do you still live away from your home town? Do you feel more settled now?
I'm hoping to find an English speaking preg yoga or Pilates class....but so far I can't find anything close to me and would need to travel approx 2 hours, which would be ok occasionally, but on a weekly basis, that wouldn't be something I would want to do.
When is your due date?
Delia

*******Feeling blessed******IVF Success****** Darling baby boy is due in Dec 2014*****
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#16 of 18 Old 07-28-2014, 01:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am due Dec 14 and it is a girl. She will make it two girls to three boys.

I am glad you get to visit and drive, too. So much better than flying. How long will it take?
Ah another girl, that's nice to equal things out a bit How old is your daughter? Would be lovely if they can be close enough to play together.....although just as nice to have an older sister to look up to

I actually prefer to fly as it's just 7hours door to door with flying but driving straight with no breaks is approx 14hours. We have driven it before and stayed overnight in France to break up the journey. This time we will break up the journey by staying in Belgium and then in London, on route to Wales.

*******Feeling blessed******IVF Success****** Darling baby boy is due in Dec 2014*****
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#17 of 18 Old 07-29-2014, 05:26 AM
 
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Ah another girl, that's nice to equal things out a bit How old is your daughter? Would be lovely if they can be close enough to play together.....although just as nice to have an older sister to look up to

I actually prefer to fly as it's just 7hours door to door with flying but driving straight with no breaks is approx 14hours. We have driven it before and stayed overnight in France to break up the journey. This time we will break up the journey by staying in Belgium and then in London, on route to Wales.
My DD1 is 6, so they will be pretty far apart, but hopefully that will prevent fights when they are older?

DS1 2004 ~ DS2 2005 ~ DD1 2008 ~ DS3 2010 ~ DD2 due Dec. 2014
On hospital bedrest for pPROM since 23 weeks
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#18 of 18 Old 08-15-2014, 01:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Congratulations Delia and welcome!

I had preeclampsia during pregnancy too many years ago. Thanks to the tip of a good friend, fixing my magnesium deficiency and following the Brewer Diet corrected the issue. It might be something you could try. Best of luck!
Hi there,
I checked out the Brewer Diet and tbh my diet at the mo is pretty close to it other than the salt intake and I don't get as much protein as is suggested. I don't add salt to my cooking as personally I don't think its healthy. I'm vegetarian too, so it can be a struggle sometimes to make sure I have enough protein, but I try to make sure I get enough every day. How do you find it with the Brewer diet?
I have been suffering with cramps, so the doctor prescribed me with magnesium and I continue to take aspirin.......so fingers crossed there will be no problems with preeclampsia
Thanks for the tip and best of luck to you too

*******Feeling blessed******IVF Success****** Darling baby boy is due in Dec 2014*****
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