Doula or no doula? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 3Likes
  • 1 Post By Bracha04
  • 1 Post By maranapanda
  • 1 Post By Chapsie
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 10 Old 08-01-2014, 10:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
Harebell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 24
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Doula or no doula?

Are you planning on having a doula? I'm contemplating getting one, but I'm not sure whether it makes sense for me. I've got some baggage from my first birth, but I'm low risk at a good birth center. Those of you who've had a doula and a midwife - was it worth it for you? Would you do it again? Why/ why not?
Harebell is offline  
#2 of 10 Old 08-01-2014, 10:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
Harebell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 24
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Oh, related question: how do you work through your baggage without a doula? I really don't want it to inhibit me going into labor, but I don't feel I can figure it out by myself.
Harebell is offline  
#3 of 10 Old 08-01-2014, 10:31 AM
 
LilyTiger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,917
Mentioned: 17 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 31 Post(s)
We had a doula and a very supportive doctor (former homebirth midwife) for my birth with my daughter and we will absolutely do it again. My husband took Bradley classes with me and was really prepared, but he still felt overwhelmed by the whole process. I needed almost constant counterpressure for back labor for 17 hours and so having someone to spell him and encourage him and to help me with positioning made a huge difference. I was pretty out of it and in the zone, so I can't really say I was aware of her being there in any real capacity, but I certainly would have noticed her absence, if that makes any sense. We'll use the same doula again this time even though we're with a midwife practice.

My doctor strongly recommends doulas for first time moms, since so much of birth and labor is an unknown. It's wonderful to have someone devoted to being your advocate and helpmeet, even with a great partner by your side. The only way I wouldn't do a doula is if I had friends in town who I really trusted who had their own fantastic births and knew how to help. Everyone who meets that criteria lives too far away though.

Beautiful baby girl born 8/13/2012. Little star baby lost at 10 weeks pregnant, 12/18/2013. Currently due 12/13/2014 with a rainbow.
LilyTiger is online now  
#4 of 10 Old 08-01-2014, 10:34 AM
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would recommend a doula to anyone. I hired one for my first birth and it was worth every penny. I plan to do so for the next. For one thing I felt I needed all the support I could get. My husband was there for the deep emotional stuff but the doula did things that my husband wouldn't have known how to do. She also helped support my husband when he needed a break or was feeling overwhelmed. She also helped me stay calm when I was scared at times.
jl321 is offline  
#5 of 10 Old 08-01-2014, 10:44 AM
 
Bracha04's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 56
Mentioned: 9 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 11 Post(s)
Personally, I really want a doula. Her one on one assistance and the bond I feel with her are important to me. Among many other things, the acupressure, rebozo, knowledge of birth and the love she provided created an atmosphere where I felt safe and secure. It's a special relationship that made a huge difference in my recent birth. It was my fifth birth, my first experience with a doula and my first time at home. It was her nurturing presence and respectful attention to my comfort and emotional needs that made such an impact on my experience, which was VERY positive.

My HypnoBirthing class was amazingly helpful for working through my baggage from my first four hospital births, and there was a lot of baggage. I felt energized, excited and hopeful with the tools from this method. I know that hypnobabies is similar in that it is also good for finding a peaceful, calming and centering mindset, but I just don't know if it works on releasing and healing. It most likely does. The program I took was very healing and calming. I processed a lot through the exercises and the techniques helped me before and during labor.

I also decided birth art would help me. It doesn't have to be led by anyone or complicated work. It was very enlightening and cleansing to draw my experience and then step back from it and notice the little details of what I placed on the paper. The symbolism of what I drew was powerful and I wept, but it helped me get in touch more deeply with my feelings and deal with them more easily.
Chapsie likes this.
Bracha04 is online now  
#6 of 10 Old 08-01-2014, 11:30 AM
 
3surfboys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: VA
Posts: 324
Mentioned: 10 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 14 Post(s)
Yes! I've had a doula/midwife assistant for 2 out of 4 births - for one of the others my midwife filled the role of doula because I was in the hospital and required an OB in the room too. And with my last birth, I would have liked my doula there but she was out of town - it turned out to be perfect to have just dh and midwife. Some doulas are also great at birth photography which is an added bonus.
As for any baggage, I would work through that with my midwife (but she is like a therapist too! - I suppose it depends on the midwife/provider).
The only reason I can think not to have a doula would be if the birth center guarantees that a midwife or assistant will be with you 100% of the time once you get there.

Laura ~ Mama to three wild and wonderful boys , our rainbow baby girl on 7/2/12 and expecting #5 on 12/24/14

3surfboys is offline  
#7 of 10 Old 08-01-2014, 09:09 PM
 
maranapanda's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: San Fransisco Bay area, Northern California
Posts: 492
Mentioned: 7 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 11 Post(s)
I loved my doula experiences. With my 2nd she helped me to stay relaxed and go inside myself, allowing me my blissful birth. I used a different doula with my 3rd,but my birth was so fast that she didn't arrive until right before the baby was born. She took beautiful photos of our post birth, and literally spoon fed me eggs when my body was struggling to catch up with what had just happened.

With this birth I was concerned that I couldn't afford one, but my midwife said that her assistant would be there for what I need. That's a relief. At this time, I expect I'll need my doula to just remind me when I need direction to stay centered.

My husband and I are incredibly close, like ridiculously. We've been together for twenty years, and I need to know that he's near when I labor. That being said, he's not helpful to me when I'm laboring. He gets so excited. Even though he tries to stay calm, I just know him too well. I can feel his energy and it's distracting.

I like everything super quiet, I don't want to be talked to. I prefer having someone who knows what they are doing, but does not have an emotional attachment to me. I'm too empathic, and I don't want to go there emotionally with someone. I need to just be.

For dealing with birth baggage, I'd try one of the hypno programs, art, birth affirmations, talking to your midwife, or maybe even seeing a therapist.
Bracha04 likes this.
maranapanda is online now  
#8 of 10 Old 08-03-2014, 10:51 PM
 
Chapsie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 942
Mentioned: 46 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 31 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harebell View Post
Oh, related question: how do you work through your baggage without a doula? I really don't want it to inhibit me going into labor, but I don't feel I can figure it out by myself.
I had a ton of baggage from my first birth (an unwanted induction-turned cesarean). I used hypnobabies to help me release fears and restore my faith in birth.

I have many doula friends and have served as a doula for my friends, but have actually never had an official doula at any of my births. I have continuous female labor support through my midwife and friends, though. I would have loved to have had a doula last time, but had to pay for the home birth mostly out of pocket ($3900) and didn't have an extra $500 laying around for a doula. I would recommend one, though, if you can swing it!

RN, IBCLC. DS is 5, DD1 is 4, DD2 is 1! DD3 due in December!
Chapsie is online now  
#9 of 10 Old 08-03-2014, 10:56 PM
 
Chapsie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 942
Mentioned: 46 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 31 Post(s)
Also, Birthing From Within might be helpful to process your previous experience. I second the recommendation for birth art or journaling.
3surfboys likes this.

RN, IBCLC. DS is 5, DD1 is 4, DD2 is 1! DD3 due in December!
Chapsie is online now  
#10 of 10 Old 08-06-2014, 01:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
Harebell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 24
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Thank you all. It's helpful to hear that you all valued having a doula so much.I'll also look into the other coping ideas. Maybe I should start painting while my daughter does.
Harebell is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off