clutter/nesting/insanity? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 9Likes
  • 1 Post By momOplenty
  • 1 Post By swimming-duck
  • 3 Post By zjande
  • 2 Post By LilyTiger
  • 1 Post By swimming-duck
  • 1 Post By zjande
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 17 Old 08-30-2014, 01:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
momOplenty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 43
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
clutter/nesting/insanity?

i don't know if this is where i should post this or not, but figured since we're all in similar stages of pregnancy, it might be something that's happening to others at this point.

first, i have to say, i'm exhausted, can barely stand the kids, all food makes me nauseous, and i'm in a terrible mood all the time. lol. it has never been like this before for me. some days i think i'm actually certifiable with how crazy i feel. this is where i'm wondering what is 'normal' and what's hormone induced.

i'm looking for a car title, we're gonna junk a car next week. no idea where it is. there are 2 places i keep everything important, its not there. so, whatever, i've gotten over it, there are ways around that. however, as i'm going through all the possible locations for said title, i'm really noticing how much crap i own. i know i'm a packrat, and i've been going through things more, as i can, trying to free up some space. but omg, i keep everything. i have a trunk of the weirdest stuff. i want to throw a bunch out, but i don't know if i can even put it in the trash can, lest someone accidentally find it. i might have to bury and/or burn some things.

ok, so half of that was pointless, i'm long-winded, sorry. is anyone else feeling like its time to throw out your really weird memorabilia? or if you have, what helped you determine what was what? where do you guys draw the line at things like, birthday cards? do you save them at all? or am i the only one who has 2 decades of them in a box? everywhere i look, i think i could throw things out, but then that final step of actually doing it, i can't bring myself that far. i get that gross feeling like, what if i miss this? of course i won't, but i'm irrational right now.

thanks in advance if anyone has any ideas/advice/stories/ anything.
NewBrooklynMama likes this.
momOplenty is online now  
#2 of 17 Old 08-31-2014, 01:01 PM
 
swimming-duck's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 655
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
I'm attempting to declutter and minimalize at the moment. I'm very far from a minimalist lifestyle, but would like to head that direction. We have paper clutter everywhere. As far as throwing it out, if I waited to burn it and/or use the shredder (ours always seems to be broken down), I'd never get it out of the house. So if it's something where I feel my identity needs to be protected, I give it some good rips on its way to the garbage can.

I've actually been going through my son's room this past weekend. It's been a very busy and exhausting job. My kiddos have wayyy too many clothes and as a result we're never on top of laundry and stuff never gets put away. I now have two contractor sized garbage bags full of stuff to be donated somewhere! And I made the boys pick out stuffed animals that were special to them. I said three and we compromised on five each...lol...it's a start! Already I'm feeling better. But that's just one problem area amidst clutter everywhere.

As far as birthday cards, I quit saving them years ago. I mean, I literally toss them like the week or so after birthdays. When I moved out my mom gave me all of my birthday cards from growing up. Do you know how many times I looked through them? Ummm....pretty sure never! I don't think my kids will be traumatized if I get rid of cards from people that they probably won't know by the time they're adults anyways...lol! Even so, we have pictures of the birthday parties and that's better than cards! I've gotten to where I refuse to hold onto stuff for sentimental reasons. Those great X-mas cards that I get from people every year? Tossed as soon as X-mas season is over. It sounds awful and heartless, but before I started doing this, we were overrun with piles and piles of these sorts of things!

I was reading through this minimalist mom blog, can't remember the exact name - I think it really was the minimalist mom or something like that. Anyways, one point that I found, and can't remember if it was in an article or a comment on an article, was about how clutter detracts from living. Think of how much life is robbed from us when we are stuck searching through piles of papers or rearranging piles of papers for the umpteenth time. This is time that could be spent with our children, pursuing hobbies, etc...This is what I'm trying to remind myself as I try to pave the way to a less cluttered home. It's not easy though! Good luck with your decluttering! It's such a worthwhile cause, but it can be exhausting too!
Chapsie likes this.

Crystal (34) married to LPN DH (38) , mama to (7/07), (1/09), and (7/11) and (12/28)
swimming-duck is online now  
#3 of 17 Old 08-31-2014, 02:40 PM
 
badwolf092087's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Stamford, CT
Posts: 879
Mentioned: 40 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 87 Post(s)
When it comes to cards and what not, I save the sentimental ones and put them in the scrapbook that corresponds to the time. If it's something with barely any meaning (ex my upcoming 27th birthday) it's getting tossed. The cards Maddy gets for her shower and birthdays, etc etc? The scrapbook for that year.

I've been getting rid of a lot of things, but that's easy to do when moving. But then I end up with new items to replace lol.
badwolf092087 is online now  
#4 of 17 Old 09-01-2014, 08:21 AM
 
zjande's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: on the dusty homestead
Posts: 5,221
Mentioned: 18 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 24 Post(s)
Toss 'em, toss 'em and then toss some more. It is so freeing!!

I'm pretty minimalist. Clutter makes me feel stressed, while clear surfaces and empty floor space just makes me feel like making a happy sigh.

The thing is, I love keepsakes. Adore them. But after we really began having lots of children, their keepsakes were piling and piling and filling bins and I don't have time to put together pretty keepsake books any more. Even if I did the kids would tear them apart. And, would they even appreciate them as adults?? Like, I used to keep newspapers from every birthday so my kids could someday see the current events. But, they can just look them up online now!! Lol

I love the term "ruthless decluttering". I will chant that in my mind when cleaning out a room. The less stuff we own, the freer I feel and the easier it is for the kids to clean up every afternoon.

North Idaho rural living  mama to: 23 yo DD, 16 yo DS, 8 yo DS, 6 yo DS, 4 yr old DS, 2 yo DD, and 1 yo DS. And someone new coming this Christmas!
zjande is online now  
#5 of 17 Old 09-01-2014, 03:15 PM
 
LilyTiger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,890
Mentioned: 14 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 24 Post(s)
I actually started a "Minimalist August" with my last DDC this month (we're still very close via Facebook) to try to get some inspiration to clear out junk. I reduced my closet by half and got really inspired by the "capsule wardrobe" approach. I also ruthlessly went through papers, photos, and other stuff and tried to be really cognizant of keeping the stuff that matters and chucking everything else. Books too, though I haven't reduced those as much as I was hoping. Moving really helped us, since we didn't want to move tons of our junk into a new house. So we sold a bunch of furniture on Craigslist.

The other thing that really helped me was matching what I owned to the storage space we had. For the first time we have a linen closet instead of just random chests/drawers/closets all over the house, so I vowed that I would reduce all our linens to what fits in that closet. I ended up donating something close to 20 towels to our local animal shelter. I have no idea where they all came from, but it's insane to have that many towels. It has been a really liberating month!
swimming-duck and Chapsie like this.

Beautiful baby girl born 8/13/2012. Little star baby lost at 10 weeks pregnant, 12/18/2013. Currently due 12/13/2014 with a rainbow.
LilyTiger is online now  
#6 of 17 Old 09-01-2014, 05:48 PM
 
swimming-duck's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 655
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
So "Minimalist September " anyone??
LilyTiger likes this.

Crystal (34) married to LPN DH (38) , mama to (7/07), (1/09), and (7/11) and (12/28)
swimming-duck is online now  
#7 of 17 Old 09-02-2014, 08:16 AM
 
Chapsie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 913
Mentioned: 40 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 26 Post(s)
I'm in! Nesting is starting to kick in and I could use a "ruthless decluttering" around here! Trying to squeeze 6 people into a 1500 sq foot ranch. I took one of the 4 bedrooms away to use as a homeschooling room, so now we will have 4 kids in 2 bedrooms and no large space to play and house toys, so we will have to get creative with storage and give a lot away.

RN, IBCLC. DS is 5, DD1 is 4, DD2 is 1! DD3 due in December!
Chapsie is online now  
#8 of 17 Old 09-02-2014, 11:06 AM
 
LilyTiger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,890
Mentioned: 14 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 24 Post(s)
I'm in too! I'm particularly interested in learning from BTDT moms of two or more how they organize toys for multiple ages (or just avoid them altogether) and how to organize and store clothing of various sizes. We're already overflowing with misc boxes and bins of 0-6 month, 12-24 month girl, etc. etc.

Beautiful baby girl born 8/13/2012. Little star baby lost at 10 weeks pregnant, 12/18/2013. Currently due 12/13/2014 with a rainbow.
LilyTiger is online now  
#9 of 17 Old 09-03-2014, 09:45 AM
 
KatelynRose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 377
Mentioned: 18 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 33 Post(s)
I've been forced to put my nesting instincts on hold for now, since we are living in a friend's home (the upstairs suite) for the next two months to save money. I can't complain.. Everything happens for a reason and it's good for us financially to be staying here.
Before we made our cross country move, though, I threw out most of our stuff besides what is absolutely necessary. Definitely ruthless decluttering, because we simply couldn't take it with us. So once we move into a new place I won't have too much junk to worry about!

In case you're curious about my status: I'm Kate, I spend every miraculous day with my darling soul mate JB and we are expecting our first baby (boy!) ...
KatelynRose is offline  
#10 of 17 Old 09-03-2014, 10:20 AM
 
JessieBird's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 1,383
Mentioned: 8 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 9 Post(s)
I love the "minimalist September" idea and I"m totally in. I started cleaning out closets this morning and have three big bags of clothes to be donated already! It helps that I know this baby is a girl, all my sons' old clothes can finally be cleared out. I am that person who keeps the house neat as a pin on the surface but closets, pantry, shed, etc are all a complete disaster and I have countless unfinished sewing projects, etc. It weighs on me and drives the family bonkers because no one can find anything. I'm going to be ruthless in my cleaning!

It's also a great distraction from misery - DS1 started kindergarten and after 5.5 years together every day, I feel totally lost without him. He is excited and confident and having a lot of fun but I can't get over how much I miss him. Poor DS2 is getting lost in the shuffle - none of his activities have started yet and I am spending all day with my head in the closets so he won't see me cry! Need to get my mama mojo back.

Happy mumma to my boys Henny Tom (Nov 30, 2008), Arlo Odie (Oct 5, 2010), and baby SISTER! due mid-Dec 2014.
JessieBird is offline  
#11 of 17 Old 09-03-2014, 11:38 AM
 
randic116's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: wisconsin
Posts: 79
Mentioned: 9 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 7 Post(s)
I think a minimalist September sounds awesome! I'll be gone for like ten days though so I won't do anything then. But I'll happily join ya'll in the meantime! I was just thinking the other day that I need to clean out my shoes... I only have like three pairs I actually wear... :P

randic116 is offline  
#12 of 17 Old 09-04-2014, 06:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
momOplenty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 43
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
oh my gosh, you gals are awesome! i'm so sorry i disappeared. i can't seem to get on the computer for more than 30 seconds before a kid freaks out. things have been pretty rough around here. the depression is unbearable. anyhoo... not the point, the point of this is decluttering! lol. i love everything everyone said! the "ruthless decluttering" sounds absolutely awesome to me. i have some weird crap. i did downsize my wardrobe recently. we don't have real closets, but the house we rented came up with a little stand up one. i can say, all my clothes fit in there no prob, and i also have extra linens hanging in half. so i suppose i've taken one baby step towards decluttering?

my other issues- and please feel free to laugh, i can make fun of myself no problem-lol. hmm... kids clothes, books, toys, coffee mugs (where do they all come from??!!), cloth diapers. asides from sentimental things, those are a few to start. i have 4 kids, #5 on the way, so i do save clothes. we're super poor, and i can not donate and re-buy for every age, even thrift. however, that being said, i really only need half of what i have. and books, i feel like i'm throwing an old friend to the curb when i get rid of them, but i need to get over it. lol. toys are a tough one. i'll probably blab a little about why i'm neurotic, so bear with me... first off, when we started having kids, i begged people to not buy toys. i had these dreamy plans of a waldorf-type-life. wooden blocks, paints, funny dolls, etc. now, i'm not hardcore, i love legos, they're plastic and all that, but they're pretty spectacular, so i'm ok with those. all the other crap, though??!! lord have mercy. i want to sob just looking in the kids' rooms. here's the thing, its a sensitive thing for me. my own mother would constantly break my things when she got mad. i did not have much (she's a super minimalist, probably why i'm a hoarder now LOL), but she'd still break my stuff, throw it away, set it on fire, etc. i can not do that to my kids. i won't just dump their things w/o their approval. and maybe i'm giving them too much power, etc etc, but it hurts my heart to hurt them like that. i'd love to get them on board with what we give away. now, i have sneaked in in the night, and tossed broken bits, things with peeling paint, etc. that's been ok. but other stuff, i just can't take away and have them asking where their things are. they also haven't had it very easy. my oldest is 8, and we've lived in 7 places since she's been born. so, taking a constant in their lives away again, w/o their consent, might throw them over the edge. i homeschool, and they're behind in everything. its just been a rocky existence. so you see how i have weirdo issues with some things. lol.

ok, i'm long winded, i apologize. but i love the ruthless declutter idea!!! i can start with my own crap, and go from there with the kids. i have mailed 2 huge boxes of cloth diapers to a friend. and i managed to throw out the ones that were literal rags. i mean, as in, i couldn't even use a snappi on them anymore b/c of the holes. HAHA. but you know, it took me 3 months of staring at them before i could do it. this has to be my last kid, so i'm really trying to learn to let go of things like that. little diapers that all 4 kids have worn, it shouldn't be a big deal b/c they just poop in them, but its still sentimental.

i wish i knew how to tag people! and crap, i can't scroll up to the thread! ack. so, i'm gonna muck up this name... zandhe? zanjde? shoot, i'm sorry. i wanted to tell you, you put a link to your blog a few weeks back, and i totally trolled the entire thing! lol. so amazing!!!

and i'll try to respond more quickly from now on, i'm so sorry it took this long. <3 all you guys are really awesome!
momOplenty is online now  
#13 of 17 Old 09-04-2014, 08:54 AM
 
zjande's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: on the dusty homestead
Posts: 5,221
Mentioned: 18 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 24 Post(s)
Geez, that's really mean what your mom did under anger to your toys.

Do you guys have access to any sort of shed or garage type thing? One idea is to look at each toy, ask yourself if it really and truly is ever played with, and then toss it in a box when the kids aren't looking. It can't be a see through box either or they'll catch on, lol. Label it like "misc ignored toys" and put it out in the shed. My personal rule is that if a child asks for a specific toy two times, I'll go fetch that one toy. But honestly, that has almost never happened. They only play with and actually treasure a handful of toys! After some period of time, I will take the whole bin to goodwill (well, I'll dump it into garbage bags or something first).

Another idea I utilize is a big bin labeled "toy rotation". I put a whole bunch of toys in it that might be played now and then. Especially messy toy sets. Then I put that out in our shop. A few times a year, when the kids seem to need something "new" to distract them, I'll go get that bin out, bring it in, dump it (or just part of it out) and refill the bin completely with other toys. Take that out to storage immediately. So, you're rotating through your toys instead of ever having the whole mountain of them inside at one time.

I've got to run. Be back later.
Chapsie likes this.

North Idaho rural living  mama to: 23 yo DD, 16 yo DS, 8 yo DS, 6 yo DS, 4 yr old DS, 2 yo DD, and 1 yo DS. And someone new coming this Christmas!
zjande is online now  
#14 of 17 Old 09-04-2014, 09:36 AM
 
apeydef's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,321
Mentioned: 62 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 109 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by momOplenty View Post
i don't know if this is where i should post this or not, but figured since we're all in similar stages of pregnancy, it might be something that's happening to others at this point.

first, i have to say, i'm exhausted, can barely stand the kids, all food makes me nauseous, and i'm in a terrible mood all the time. lol. it has never been like this before for me. some days i think i'm actually certifiable with how crazy i feel. this is where i'm wondering what is 'normal' and what's hormone induced.

i'm looking for a car title, we're gonna junk a car next week. no idea where it is. there are 2 places i keep everything important, its not there. so, whatever, i've gotten over it, there are ways around that. however, as i'm going through all the possible locations for said title, i'm really noticing how much crap i own. i know i'm a packrat, and i've been going through things more, as i can, trying to free up some space. but omg, i keep everything. i have a trunk of the weirdest stuff. i want to throw a bunch out, but i don't know if i can even put it in the trash can, lest someone accidentally find it. i might have to bury and/or burn some things.

ok, so half of that was pointless, i'm long-winded, sorry. is anyone else feeling like its time to throw out your really weird memorabilia? or if you have, what helped you determine what was what? where do you guys draw the line at things like, birthday cards? do you save them at all? or am i the only one who has 2 decades of them in a box? everywhere i look, i think i could throw things out, but then that final step of actually doing it, i can't bring myself that far. i get that gross feeling like, what if i miss this? of course i won't, but i'm irrational right now.

thanks in advance if anyone has any ideas/advice/stories/ anything.
I have a plastic type shoe box for each kid. I only save 1st birthday cards, locks if hair, coming home from hospital outfit and hospital hat and blanket. My daughter is in 1 st grade and I've started one shoe box per year of special things she's made, however if I do this with each kid every year that will be a lot and I may down size as the years go on. I go through things every so often to and get rid of things I may no longer feel attachment to (if that makes sense.) It's a process and a learning experience but it's freeing to let go to!
apeydef is online now  
#15 of 17 Old 09-04-2014, 10:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
momOplenty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 43
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
a toy rotation is a great idea! thank you! and no, we have nothing for storage here. no shed or anything like that. come to think of it, i don't even have any beds on frames (b/c of cosleeping), so i don't even have under the bed storage. man, maybe i should change that. lol. we have a laundry room, it has a teeny bit of extra space, but we need to organize that again, it gets messy in there fast. couldn't even tell you how, but it does. haha. anyway, yes- the rotation sounds awesome! and also the hiding things for a while to see if they miss them. that's pretty brilliant.

i'm in that horrible catch 22, where i'm overwhelmed by clutter, but too overwhelmed to start doing anything about it. i am trying, but i feel like i get distracted so easily. i have clutter A.D.D. or something.

i'm gonna see what i can do about some toys asap! i'll keep you guys posted. should be fun. funny, at the very least.
momOplenty is online now  
#16 of 17 Old 09-05-2014, 08:24 PM
 
swimming-duck's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 655
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
So far this month I've tackled my kiddos' clothes (in their room) and donated two huge bags of clothing, the large lawn and garden ones, to Goodwill. I did go through and discard shoes that had seen better days as well as set aside a pile to take to Goodwill. Also, I told my oldest son to pick out three stuffed animals to keep and picked out three for my youngest. My oldest ended up talking me into five, but since that was a significant improvement I let it go. I'm not aiming for minimalist perfection, but progress towards that end. I did make sure to get the bags out of the house asap before the kiddos could decide to look through them, change their mind, etc... I did mention to my kiddos that we're going to go through their room and choose toys to go to kids who don't have as many toys as they do. I also talked about how Santa will be bringing them new things before long and they need to make sure they have room for new stuff. I'm hoping I can kind of prep them for this. We'll see. In the end, I might have to be persuasive and talk them into getting rid of things I know they don't play with. But I wouldn't want to do their toys without them, even if it means we keep a bit more than I would like. We can always keep chipping away at it! I'm trying to emphasize the "these toys are going to kids who have less aspect" and hope that helps. We'll see! At some point I need to go down to the basement and go through tubs of clothing. I saved all of my oldest boy's clothing and honestly I'm glad I did because my youngest is exactly four years younger and all of the clothes have been in season and we wouldn't have had money to buy clothes with him. This one, however, is due in winter instead of summer so even if this ends up being a boy, a lot of the infant clothing will need to be replaced due to being off season. That being said, I have kept way too much. Additionally, our second DS did accumulate extra clothes here and there and there's no way we'll need all of it for future children. So, I'd like to go through the tubs and save the best and get rid of the rest. It would be wonderful if that could be accomplished before baby gets here. And actually it kind of needs to be so I know what I do have that can be used for our new baby. So I think that and toys will be my big goals for this month. I have other goals, but I have to be very realistic with the amount of time I have. Other than that, there's just this ongoing process of decluttering counters and surfaces. We have piles of papers and miscellaneous junk everywhere!

One big thing that will help is that we will be closing my home daycare business at the end of October. We've held onto so many things not because of personal attachment, but because they are sometimes necessary in the daycare. We also have more toddler toys than one family needs. So a lot of this will be tossed, donated, or sold once my daycare is officially closed. It's going to be a busy season!

On another note, when it comes to the kiddos toys I will throw out things that are definitely broken and cheap happy meal type toys when they're not paying attention. They've never asked about those kinds of things.

Momoplenty - I'm sorry that you experienced such horrific behavior from your mom as a child. I completely understand why it would be hard for you to get rid of anything after that kind of existence.

Crystal (34) married to LPN DH (38) , mama to (7/07), (1/09), and (7/11) and (12/28)
swimming-duck is online now  
#17 of 17 Old 09-06-2014, 09:36 AM
 
swimming-duck's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 655
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Oops - just realized that I put this last post in the wrong thread!

Crystal (34) married to LPN DH (38) , mama to (7/07), (1/09), and (7/11) and (12/28)
swimming-duck is online now  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off