*~*~Spotlight on Girlspn~*~* - Mothering Forums
December 2014 Due Date Club > *~*~Spotlight on Girlspn~*~*
Chapsie's Avatar Chapsie 09:35 AM 09-13-2014
Hey there, @girlspn

What are your plans for your upcoming birth? How many kids were in your family growing up? What are some special family traditions that you enjoy? What is your favorite food? Any particular food cravings or aversions with this pregnancy?

girlspn 07:03 PM 09-15-2014
Thanks chapsie for these spotlights! I can't believe it's my turn already!

What are your plans for your upcoming birth? **Hospital birth. Home births are not legal where I am, and all the private midwives I've spoken to don't support it because any complications might shut down their clinic. My dd was born relatively fast, so hoping for a similar birth this time, but with more control and less tearing.

How many kids were in your family growing up?**I'm the oldest of 5-- 4 girls and 1 boy. My siblings and I are very close.

What are some special family traditions that you enjoy?**I'm Chinese, and mid-autumn festival was my favorite. We used to light tons of red candles and watch them burn. Sadly it's not legal anymore here.

What is your favorite food?**I like bitter gourd a lot..

Any particular food cravings or aversions with this pregnancy?**I crave fruit a lot, and don't feel like meat most of the time, preferring dairy instead. In my last pregnancy, I ate a lot of meat and hardly any dairy. I've been eating a lot of grapes, mangoes, and pineapple.
Chapsie's Avatar Chapsie 09:59 PM 09-16-2014
Haha, I think it is hilarious that you listed bitter gourd as your favorite food! my DH grew up in Taiwan and when we went to visit a few years ago, I thought it was so gross! I guess it needs to be prepared well.

I see in your signature tag that you are a single mama. Are you still single? Do you have good family support? (you and your siblings are close-- do they live nearby?)
girlspn 12:00 AM 09-17-2014
Bitter gourd is definitely an acquired taste! I ate it a lot as a little kid, so actually like the bitterness. It's in chinese dishes but most people I know don't like it.

My siblings live close by, literally within a few miles of each other, except for my youngest sister, who is in graduate school in Chicago. The rest of us meet up a few times a week. I've always thought of my siblings as built-in friends. My dd plays a lot with her aunts and cousin (brother's son), and pretty much lists out her aunties when talking about her 'family'. I'm really grateful for the closeness and support.

I was divorced earlier this year after 6 years of marriage, and chose to move back closer to my family. It's not easy to find a partner as a 30+ year old single mother in this city, so I feel like I'm going to be single for awhile.
zjande's Avatar zjande 09:30 AM 09-19-2014
Were you born in China? Do you speak Chinese?

What sort of work do you do? What is your dream job?

What are your favorite types of books?
girlspn 05:41 PM 09-19-2014
I was born in Guam, and moved to Hong Kong when I was 10. At that time, people didn't go to China much, considering it backwards and dangerous. Hong Kong people are snobby and don't consider themselves from China, lol. I speak Cantonese fluently and some Mandarin. I have accents in all the languages that I speak though, so always get asked 'Where are you from?'

Right now I'm in transition re occupation. I ran a small yoga retreat center with my ex-husband, then worked in retail for my family. Retail is definitely not my thing. Since I moved back to HK two months ago I've just been doing some business research for my family. (Nobody is going to hire me now that I'm pregnant...) I thought along the lines of lactation consulting, something in education... I'm very introverted and find socializing stressful. When I was a kid my dream job was to work in a library, where I can be around books and not to have to talk to people much.

Books... nothing in particular. When I was pregnant I read a lot of Ina May and books that supported natural birth and breastfeeding. When my daughter was born, I started reading parenting books related to attachment parenting. I also like fiction about families and women.
cactuspear's Avatar cactuspear 03:06 PM 09-21-2014
Quote:
Originally Posted by girlspn View Post
What are your plans for your upcoming birth? **Hospital birth. Home births are not legal where I am, and all the private midwives I've spoken to don't support it because any complications might shut down their clinic. My dd was born relatively fast, so hoping for a similar birth this time, but with more control and less tearing.
My labor last time came on really fast and intense for a first birth, and I also had tearing. How are you thinking about preventing it this time around? I have to admit that knowing the second one can go even faster freaks me out!

Do you have any special traditions for your baby's "firsts"? First food, first month, first year, etc?
girlspn 12:27 AM 09-22-2014
I hired a doula this time, just for support and control, and also because there's no family member I want in the delivery room with me, yet I don't want to be by myself. I felt quite panicked in the last hour of labor before my dd was born. My doula is confident she can help with controlling pushing to prevent tearing. Just hearing that comforts me. A lot of ladies get episiotomies here.

Chinese people tend to choose one of the following to celebrate their babies-- first full moon (lunar month), double full moon (two lunar months), or first 100 days. The latter two tend to be popular these days because people don't like to take their babies out in public too early. My dd celebrated a 'double full moon birthday'. Traditionally red eggs and a 10-course meal is served. I'll probably have a similar celebration for my second child.

For my dd, as we lived in India at that time, we celebrated her first food around 5 months old at a Hindu temple. The priests put her on a scale, and on the other side they put bananas as offering. The parents of the baby donate the offering (to the temple) that's equal to the weight of the baby. Then the priest fed her some rice. It was interesting to me, but my second won't have this.

Also, my family asks a priest or feng shui person to choose the Chinese name for the baby. The characters are chosen based on the time of the birth.
MamaNicole's Avatar MamaNicole 01:44 AM 09-22-2014
I would love to do at least a first full moon at home!

What area of India were you living in?

I see we have older kids the same age (my guy was born September 2011). Are you doing anything special to get her ready for the new baby?
girlspn 12:12 AM 09-23-2014
We were living in Kerala at the time, about an hour outside the capital.

We talk a lot about her baby sister, topics like how they're going to share nursing and what she can do to help when time comes, and involve her in some of the preparations, like laundering and organizing baby supplies. I've kept some new clothes and books to give her for when after the baby is born, so it won't seem like her new sister is getting all the attention. Are you doing anything special for your son?
MamaNicole's Avatar MamaNicole 10:41 AM 10-02-2014
@girlspn - Living in Kerala, how nice! I've only visited the more northern areas of Kerala, and can't wait to go back and explore more. I'm know northern India much better than the south, but hope to change that someday.

To get my 3 year old ready for the birth and baby, we talk a lot about babies. He loves books, so I'm always checking out books about babies and becoming a big brother from the library. He sometimes likes to talk or sign to my belly, which I think is so cute! I also plan on showing him some birth videos, since he will be at the homebirth. I've also started collecting special things for him to do and play with during and in right after.
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