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Old 08-06-2014, 06:38 PM - Thread Starter
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in need of some advice

Hi ladies,
I really need some advice. I've been thinking a lot about going with a home birth. My reasoning for not doing a home birth was mostly based on my partners anxiety and potential lack of support from our families.

We decided to go with a doula and a midwife practice connected with a hospital. I love the doula! She is so supportive in any birth choice including hospital or home birth. We went to the midwife practice today and I left really mixed up when I left.

I want to say that everyone was nice and the facility was nice. My experience started with getting lost and getting in an argument with the receptionist about directions. I nearly asked my husband to just turn around but thought I was probably being unreasonable on the phone as well. Anyway, so at the office I was a little upset about the lack of discussion around my previous miscarriage and the more medical vibe. I was also put off by the rushed feeling in the beginning and the long list of prenatal tests that they wanted me to get. Part of my feelings on this was based on my previous miscarriage and the doctor I had who was very supportive and minimally medical feeling (that was an out of state doctor so not an option to go back). I think I was looking for a personal less medical vibe and felt like I got the opposite feelings. I had a total meltdown post appointment in the car. My poor husband was so comforting.

So I guess I'm just wondering if I'm overreacting or if others have had this experience? I think my husband and I may retalk a home birth.

thanks ladies!
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Old 08-06-2014, 06:59 PM
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No matter what you end up choosing, I'd say that if you had a meltdown in the car on the way from that place, it might be a pretty good sign that it's not for you! Who knows - maybe a second visit would change that, but I'd say trust your instincts if you still feel iffy after that!

I've had to accept that in my rural town, nothing is going to be ideal for me, so I think a degree of willingness to work with what you have is important. But if you have other options, it's certainly worth exploring! Maybe if you and your husband had a meeting with a homebirth midwife he would feel better about the process. Or maybe you'd find that your local hospital is more comfortable than you thought it might be. Who knows? You've got plenty of time to explore your options, and you can even do it before you end your relationship with your current practice.

What a tough way to spend your first appointment. I'm so sorry it didn't go the way you'd hoped!
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Old 08-06-2014, 10:59 PM
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I second indiana's advice. If you had that reaction, it's likely a sign that it isn't a good fit, but maybe it was partly hormones. That being said, I've had a similar experience, and it didn't end well. My second birth was with a hospital-attached midwifery group. I actually felt fine about it in the beginning, but later on started to have misgivings. Unfortunately, the real clues didn't show up until around my 9th month, when it really was too late to switch. Long story short, they strong-armed me into a c-section because they didn't want to deal with me on Christmas (he was born at 10:45 Christmas eve). Don't wait until it's too late. Explore all your options now, and take your time making the decision. It's a really big one & you should be comfortable with it. It took a lot to convince my DH to go for a planned Homebirth with our last one, too, but he eventually came around enough to be supportive. Ultimately, YOU are the one who has to push the baby out, and the decision of care provider it Yours.

Good luck! Let us know what happens next.

Wife to since '98; Homeschooling, just completed my doctorate & becoming crunchier by the day; Mom to DSs: 06/10,12/05, & 1/99 & 1 on the way (3/15)
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Old 08-07-2014, 11:46 AM
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Listen to your gut feelings.

Homeschooling, homebirthing mom to 3 (10, 5 and 2). Fourth expected in late March (yeah right, I carry forever). Probably mid-April!
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