Big one for me. This is the first time I have had "pregnancy fears". I have always been a very positive pregnant person. I have been the one that says - you take care of yourself and you do what you need to do - things always go your way.
Maybe it's my age, or the world - but things have changed.
I don't have any birth fears - I never have. It's weird. I have never been fearful of labor, or the intense feelings.
This time around, my fears revolve around having my voice taken away. Not being listened to...not having choices. Having to fight for every single thing.
Even the remote possibility of having to give birth in a hospital scares the bejessus out of me. Going to the midwife - I feel like I'm depowered. It's really weird. She is nice enough. The place is very sterile, and they don't allow me to take my own pee stick. I'm not sure why that matters - but it's like just a bit of me is being taken away. It's like it's just the start of my power being stripped away.
It's scary. Very scary.
And it makes my blood pressure go up.
I try not to think about it. The only way i can think about making it better is by empowering myself. I don't know. By taking care of myself and preparing to do it at home - even if it's alone. I'm starting to research doing it unassisted, getting things together, getting the information that I need - reading the unassisted boards, etc. Honestly, I'm not sure I am going to be able to make myself actually go so I need to be prepared to go into a closet and have this baby.
Isn't that weird? 95% of women go to the hospital to give birth - and I am scared to death of it. It seems backwards.
I would love to hear about your fears.
Maybe it's my age, or the world - but things have changed.
I don't have any birth fears - I never have. It's weird. I have never been fearful of labor, or the intense feelings.
This time around, my fears revolve around having my voice taken away. Not being listened to...not having choices. Having to fight for every single thing.
Even the remote possibility of having to give birth in a hospital scares the bejessus out of me. Going to the midwife - I feel like I'm depowered. It's really weird. She is nice enough. The place is very sterile, and they don't allow me to take my own pee stick. I'm not sure why that matters - but it's like just a bit of me is being taken away. It's like it's just the start of my power being stripped away.
It's scary. Very scary.
And it makes my blood pressure go up.
I try not to think about it. The only way i can think about making it better is by empowering myself. I don't know. By taking care of myself and preparing to do it at home - even if it's alone. I'm starting to research doing it unassisted, getting things together, getting the information that I need - reading the unassisted boards, etc. Honestly, I'm not sure I am going to be able to make myself actually go so I need to be prepared to go into a closet and have this baby.
Isn't that weird? 95% of women go to the hospital to give birth - and I am scared to death of it. It seems backwards.
I would love to hear about your fears.