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October Chat

3K views 94 replies 11 participants last post by  Yaliina 
#1 ·
I want to start the month by inviting everyone to feel free and welcome to jump in and chat--even if you have been mostly just reading along. Join in! We want to hear from you.

AFM, I started the month with a puking all-nighter. No idea what was wrong with me! Not sick, and nobody else got food poisoning from what I made. I blame the baby!
 
#2 ·
Hi folks :)


This is my third baby, second pregnancy. I'm 14 weeks now. Feeling tired still but mostly free of morning sickness. I'm waiting to feel this baby moving. Last pregnancy I felt her at 14 weeks - so feeling excited that it might be very soon.


I have two older daughters - 2 and a half and 5 and a half years old. They are very involved in the pregnancy and it makes it so sweet. My youngest daughter is especially smitten with babies. Always has been. So she asks about the baby every day and usually will ask to kiss/talk to my belly at some point. I'm enjoying this journey with them :)


We are a two mom family. My wife carried our first child. So far this is my favourite pregnancy. We both have had both roles now - and so this time feels familiar, rather than full of wondering/fear about a new role (gestational versus non gestational parenting). Our older kids are in a great space (weaned, toileting, get along well and very independent and loving kiddos). Things are comfortable. Just the perfect space to spice things up with some more sleepless nursing cloth diapering chaos.


This will be our last babe as far as we can tell so we are trying to savour it. We are looking forward to having our complete family and starting to grow older together.


Hi! Looking forward to knowing you all better and being more involved her :)
 
#3 ·
Hi @onemommyonemama! So glad to have you in the group. Sounds like our kids are basically the same ages (mine being about 6 mo older, respectively.) It's really nice to have that little one kissing the belly.

My daughter just weaned this week, from what I can tell! I thought I might get the chance to savor the last nursing session, but it just ended more casually than that, surprisingly. I do remember it, and remember thinking this could be it, but having it really be done is so much easier than I had imagined.
 
#4 ·
Hi @Rosemarino! Thanks for the welcome!

Weaning was recent for me too - three weeks ago now. It was surprising for me also how uneventful the end was. I don't remember our last BF :( ... it just happened that I was away a few nights and we decided to keep going. Not how I imagined weaning, but it has been a pretty simple transition for her so she must be ready. Shrug. I feel like maybe getting myself some cake to celebrate. Some way to mark the end :) I'm glad its been easier than you imagined! Sending you virtual cake (or any other treat you'd enjoy!)
 
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#6 · (Edited)
Good to see you here, @onemommyonemama ! And congratulations to both of you on weaning! I've heard that is such a bittersweet moment. I can't imagine being pregnant and breastfeeding. You're heroes.

That's all I have to say today, other than, "Wow, that chocolate stash sure didn't last as long as I thought it would..."

ETA: I'm having a day of technical difficulties. I have no idea why this double-posted, but it won't let me delete this one.
 
#7 ·
Ugh, ugh, ugh! My daughter was up from 1-4:30 last night with a fever and hallucinations. I never knew her to hallucinate before and it really scared me. She was plainly seeing things and they were scary! Both dh and I were up with her trying to calm her down. I am a train wreck. As soon as the fever broke she was better and she is sleeping soundly now. My neighbor helped me get my son to school this morning, thankfully.
 
#8 ·
Geeeez, @Rosemarino! That sounds like a terrible, terrible night! I can't imagine how scary it would be to watch that and not be able to do anything about it. Are you going to be able to find time to rest today? And calm your nerves? I'd be a train wreck, too.

Going with the theme of nighttime weirdness, I guess, I just signed on to tell you guys about the dreams I had last night. I don't know if you saw the little freak-out that I posted at the very end of the September chat, where suddenly my belly was really growing and I could feel the baby kicking and instead of it being the sacred "quickening" and moment of connection between mother and baby that I had read about, I freaked my sh*t out instead. It was the first time I really, in my bones, understood what was about to happen to my body, and after that, the rest of my life. Like it's not just an idea anymore. It's really effing happening.

So last night I had two dreams, or one really long one, that I'm sure relate. In one I was moving into an apartment with my old college roommate and we had way too much stuff and it wouldn't all fit. Every time I opened a closet stuff fell out, and it was driving me nuts. I imagine that has something to do with the belly picture I sent my mom last night with the subject line, "Where is it going to fit??"

In the other one I packed a bag full of clothes, stole money from my parents' closet (didn't know they were hoarding cash in there...), and ran away. Like a teenager. I don't remember where I went or what happened, but I remember coming home pretty soon and confessing to my folks that I had stolen the money and gave it back.

Both dreams included themes and people from my younger life, when being pregnant was something I couldn't imagine wanting or trying. So now I know which part of myself is doing the freaking out. Makes sense to me. Gotta have a little heart-to-heart with the girl that still lives in there, I guess.
 
#9 ·
Welcome, @onemommyonemama! Glad to have you. Is your wife going to join us, too? I've been on boards where some SO's would pop in and chat some. Can't see my DH doing that, but since your wife is also a mom, and has some BTDT... seems natural to me. :)
@Rosemarino, I'm so sorry you had such a terrible night last night. It sounds like your daughter had a night terror. My oldest has gotten them periodically since he was about 4-5 years old, especially when he has a fever. He seems like he's awake, eyes open, and walks around, but he is clearly elsewhere in his head. He can respond to questions, and usually complies with commands. But he's asleep. Sometimes it gets so bad we have to wake him (which is really difficult), but usually I just say comforting things to him & hold him until he goes back to sleep. He hadn't had any in about a year, but he has an ear infection right now, and he has had night terrors two nights in a row.
 
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#10 ·
Welcome, @onemommyonemama! Glad to have you. Is your wife going to join us, too? I've been on boards where some SO's would pop in and chat some. Can't see my DH doing that, but since your wife is also a mom, and has some BTDT... seems natural to me. :)
@Rosemarino, I'm so sorry you had such a terrible night last night. It sounds like your daughter had a night terror. My oldest has gotten them periodically since he was about 4-5 years old, especially when he has a fever. He seems like he's awake, eyes open, and walks around, but he is clearly elsewhere in his head. He can respond to questions, and usually complies with commands. But he's asleep. Sometimes it gets so bad we have to wake him (which is really difficult), but usually I just say comforting things to him & hold him until he goes back to sleep. He hadn't had any in about a year, but he has an ear infection right now, and he has had night terrors two nights in a row.
 
#11 ·
I love the idea of @onemommyonemama having her wife join us. It must be pretty special to have a spouse who gets it.
Thanks for the hugs and all; I wrote a blog post about the experience. You can read it if you want. http://www.rosemaryscottfishburn.com/blog/

Her night was a lot better last night. She had a fever, and when it broke she called me in because she wanted meat. :laugh:
 
#12 ·
Hi everyone!

@Rosemarino sounds scary. I am not a fan of witnessing my kids night terrors, especially when they can't be comforted because they are still sleeping. But adding a fever to the mix would have me very worried, not knowing what was happening. I'm glad she is getting better and sleeping more soundly :) and eating :)

@indiana I lol at the chocolate stash comment. I really need to include some healthier snacks for myself on this weekends grocery list. No matter how much protein I eat, I'm still madly craving chocolate and sweets...

@Yaliina Hi there! My wife is rad but not likely to stop by :) she has a large awesome staff at her high school (many of whom are expecting and have small children) - so she finds that to be a great community right now.

It is pretty special to have a spouse who gets pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding in a personal way :) I could write a lot about it and I find it pretty fascinating in general. Its not perfect - we have normal amounts of misunderstandings and frustrations too :) But it is awesome. She is very understanding and supportive.
 
#13 ·
@Rosemarino, I loved your blog post. There are ways that the things in our imagination are very real, and I really liked that you didn't discount her experience. There's a fine balance between offering comforting words of reassurance and belittling a powerful experience. I babysat a kid with night terrors on a regular basis when I was younger, and I always found that entering into the reality to a certain degree, talking with whatever was out to get her, and offering protection and comfort, always worked better than denying that it was happening. I'm sure it's similar with hallucinations. Poor baby. It sounds like you did right by your little girl.
 
#15 ·
Ack, night three of high fevers. The hallucinations haven't been repeated, but she's spiking fevers nightly and I think it's time to bring her in. DH wanted to bring her to the ER last night because her heart was racing, but she didn't really have anything else happening besides the fever. I was sobbing at one point because I just wanted to get some sleep :( Then when I was sobbing she was sobbing so that was an absolute parenting fail.
@onemommyonemama, I have a pretty fantastic group of preggo women in my life right now and it's been really nice, so glad DW has a good community. And, are you a writer?
@indiana I haven't had technical stuff on my end, but I have noticed what you're noticing. Also, is it just me or does the MDC mobile site leave a lot to be desired? I almost can't bear it!

I'm trying to decide whether or not to go to Zumba, but since Josh and Iona are still sleeping I probably won't go. Tonight I have to head into Boston for an art opening. A friend/acquaintance who runs a really successful gallery keeps inviting me to the openings and I figure it's time to show up. I would one day like to be represented in a gallery like that. Then tonight there's a soiree of wine, chocolate and cheese with dh's school. Not sure if I ought to go since Iona's still spiking fevers and we'd need a sitter. Also, I'm going to be trashed by then. :serious:
 
#16 ·
@Rosemarino I am so sorry to hear about the fevers. I really hope she feels better soon! And I hope you all get some sleep soon.

Hi @onemommyonemama! Nice to see you around :smile:
@indiana dreams can be so weird. I wonder what they mean, or if they are really just working through the daily flotsam and jetsam of thoughts and feelings. I also wonder if you all have accurately dreamed your baby's sex before finding out. Baby has been a girl in all my dreams, since the beginning, but I will not find out the sex till birth.

Last night I dreamed that I was watching my 3 y/o nephew who has been having trouble wanting to eat and is underweight. There was food everywhere, all over the table, plates piled full of food all over the house because I was trying to feed him. I was like, ahhhh, all this food is starting to go bad, I need to get this stuff to the compost bin! So I cleaned up the food, and then my nephew disappeared, and my whole family and the cops showed up and we looked everywhere but I had lost him completely.

The weirder one I had last week was that I gave birth to a baby girl, and it was crystal clear- the newborn blue-gray eyes that were shaped like DH's, red-brown hair like mine, it was all super clear. Very reassuring because I had m/c dreams before I lost the two previous babies, and never dreamed of them as whole, living babies. She fell asleep and I laid her down, and then when I came back in the room she had turned into a RABBIT. Later in the dream she transformed again into our little girl. And then when she got scared she turned into a rabbit again. Through the dream I was trying to figure out how to put a diaper on a rabbit, etc., seriously... And when I went back to work I talked to my coworker, who said, "Oh, yeah, my kid turns into a rabbit when he gets scared too. Totally normal." Then I woke up.

We have a mandatory foster parent event coming up and might see the boy who has stayed with us in the past, so I am looking forward to that. We also have not even received a single phone call from our agency since June or early July, asking if we want to take a kid or kids. Should be interesting to go and see people, and check in about what is going on.
 
#17 ·
@teamviddy, rabbits are an ancient symbol of fertility (it's why there's an Easter bunny - cause the Christian tradition didn't slough off all its Pagan roots and kept a lot of traditions from spring fertility festivals), so I think it's a wonderful sign that rabbits are showing up in your dreams! Compared to dreams of miscarriage, it sounds like your body is feeling pretty confident about this one! I'd say that's a dream to celebrate!
@Rosemarino, I hope you get some rest. I would be a puddle of tears by this point, as sleep-deprived as you must be. Pregnancy makes it so much harder to will yourself to stay strong and push through. Your body is already working close to max when everything is normal! I'm sending lots of positive thoughts and prayers your way. I hope Iona feels better soon - for both of your sakes!

All I have to say is that I've decided pregnancy is a second puberty. Rapid proliferation of breast tissue and body hair (and I'm not just talking about the hair on top of my head...anybody else there with me?), feeling irritable and angry and tearful, body image shifts, and, now (for me), acne. Nothing like being hairy, zit-faced, exhausted and moody to make my second trimester the "glow" everybody said it would be!

If I'm going to go through puberty again...could I at least have my sex-drive back?
 
#19 ·
Chest hair? :nut

Update on Iona: ear infection. It dawned on me that she has had double ear infections before and never complained about her ears, so I brought her in yesterday and there you have it. Double infection. ABX started and we slept through the night last night.

Tomorrow is 18 wk ultrasound--the gender one! It's a level 2 so there should be a pretty solid chance that we know exactly.
 
#20 ·
@teamviddy, no chest hair for me (yet?), but belly hair and, yeah, below that. It's a jungle down there. There may be things I can do about that for now, but soon I won't be able to see...

I'm going to ask the doc to check my iron at my next appointment. I think I'm more tired than I ought to be by this point in my second tri. I haven't been taking the floradix because my prenatal has plenty of good iron and I don't want to overdo it, but if I'm deficient I'll start.

I've thought about starting magnesium oil, too. Anybody ever used that? I never have, and I wonder about starting it during pregnancy.
 
#21 ·
I haven't used magnesium oil, but definitely have used magnesium supplements during pregnancy for leg cramps. It's the stuff. You can I think take up to 400mg or some huge number. Check with your midwife for your specific dosage. What are you using it for?
 
#22 ·
@Rosemarino my dd has an ear infection and is on abx as well not fun times....I have been laid up up the couch for the last 3 days with a cold....I'm being a big baby I admit it. I go back to work tomorrow and I am not looking forward to it since I still feel like crap.

No crazy hair growth here but I am generally not a hairy person.
 
#23 · (Edited)
My RLS has been way worse since getting pregnant and my acupuncturist (and the internet?) suggest it could be a magnesium deficiency (iron can also be the culprit). I also want to start taking a calcium supplement because I'm just not as into many of the food sources of calcium as I hoped I'd be by the second tri (a lot of them I couldn't even look at during the first tri), but I don't want to take it without magnesium or K2. Magnesium supplements can mess up my gut sometimes, so that's why I was thinking about trying the oil. But I don't even actually know if the oil works! Hmmm....

Good to hear, at least, that magnesium helped you. Whatever form I try, I like hearing positive anecdotes!

@LexiDrewMama , I maintain that there is no such thing as being a big baby while pregnant! Just being pregnant requires you to be so strong. Enduring anything else on top of that is above and beyond. Don't feel bad about all that couch time. Your baby needs you to take it!
 
#24 ·
Yes, restless leg is absolutely helped by magnesium. I told my dad to take it after he was complaining and it really turned it around for him. I hate restless leg and have had it in pregnancy before--I had forgotten. But note: magnesium and calcium are competitors for absorption and I have been told to take them separately. B vitamins are good for magnesium. For some information on the competition of cal and mag (which is funny cuz they're often in a pill together) see this write up from the University of Maryland Medical Center and go under the Precautions heading.

So, it's a girl! Found out this morning. And everything looks absolutely perfect! Celebrated with a coffee and pastry with dh and then hit the thrift store and found a few cute things. :)
 
#25 ·
Congratulations, @Rosemarino! That's awesome! I can't wait for my scan in two weeks. I have four boys at home and have definitely been pregnant with 5 boys. I wouldn't cry if I had the same outcome as you. ;) Actually, yes, I probably would cry.

Well, I'll never catch up with this whole thread so I'll just jump in here. I've finally been feeling better! Yaaaayyy!!! So I've been getting out with the kids and catching up on rest (I'm so weak!) when we get home.

We've been getting out to our homeschool groups and to see friends it's been so good for all of us. It's going to take me a long time to get strong enough again to keep up! I've finally started yoga so if I can fit that in more days then that should help.
 
#26 ·
Hey, ladies! I know I've been MIA for a while, but I took my final, my in-laws came for the weekend, and my brother (who is our live-in sitter) announced that he's moving back to NC this week & needs me to drive him down on Wednesday. So, I've been a little nuts. But, I'M DONE!!!! School is officially finished. I'm just awaiting final grades. I think I made a 90 on the final (based on the answers I looked up afterwards), and all I needed to pass with an A was an 80, so I think I'm pretty good. :)
@Rosemarino, I'm sorry your daughter was sick, but glad you figured out what it was & it wasn't anything serious. Funny that both our kids were having ear infection-induced night terrors at the same time. Nathan's are cleared up (didn't need abx), fortunately, and he's back to sleeping soundly.

I'm with you ladies with sleep troubles. I've been waking several times a night to pee, still, but now it's more difficult to get back to sleep, usually after the 2nd or 3rd waking. And, I need to find the right pregnancy pillow, but haven't decided which one will work. I can't seem to stay on my left side (although it isn't until 20 weeks that it's crucial), but flip back and forth. So far, a firm pillow on each side has worked fairly well, but I'd like something more pregnancy-friendly. I'm worried that the Snoogle won't allow me to flip flop.

I have strange dreams even when not pregnant, so they've been pretty weird recently. But yours sounds epic, @teamviddy! I love the rabbit-morphing! Sounds like a great sign your body is doing what it is supposed to. :)

As for RLS, how come neither my midwife nor the OB I had with my last pregnancy knew about magnesium? I had RLS so bad I literally slept in the bathtub on multiple occasions, when I was pregnant with Warren. I kept asking what I could do, and nobody knew. Don't know why I couldn't find that as a possible solution on the internet, either. Well, I'll certainly try it this time. That was the worst! Even worse than the hemorrhoids I had on the plane (yikes!) to an out-of-town conference. Of course, working full-time was the main reason I had all those problems, no doubt. Glad I am only p/t now. And glad I don't generally have hair issues- I don't really have a lot of body hair anyway (probably my Native American heritage), but I have been breaking out with pimples like a 14 year-old girl, not to mention the allergies & rhinitis are combining to make me miserable more often than not.

Also, I started taking cod liver oil for vitamin D, and a B12 for energy. I think it's helping.
 
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