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November chat

2K views 58 replies 13 participants last post by  indiana 
#1 ·
It's November! We finally had our first freeze last night (which was also the first frost...it's been a slow autumn) and I realized that I might not have my winter maternity wardrobe as nailed down as I thought I did. I forgot what cold feels like. So I've been working on retrofitting my non-maternity winter base layers and long underwear all day. I thought the waistbands were too tight before pregnancy, but now I have real motivation to try some alterations.

On an unrelated note, is anybody else death-crashing between 3 and 5 every afternoon? It doesn't seem to matter how regular/frequent my meals are or how much protein or how few sugars I eat throughout the day. It's not nausea, although sometimes that does happen, and it doesn't feel like needing a nap. Normally I can't even sleep if I try anyway. I can't really describe how it feels, other than awful and desperate. Eating helps, but not very fast like it does when I have a straightforward sugar crash. When this crash happens, it feels so good to put my feet up and rest my head on a pillow that I orgasmically moan. I wonder if it's a blood flow thing from having my feet below my body all day.
 
#2 ·
Oh my gosh, it's November!! And yes, my afternoon cup of coffee isn't even helping anymore. And add pregnancy insomnia to new much shorter gray days....yeeea. Not much productivity happening in these parts.
 
#3 ·
I know what you mean. I Will crash some days and attribute it to how much I did that day. If we have plans in the evening I sometimes I turn down substitute work for that day. I realize how lucky I am to have such a flexible schedule. When I described it to my husband in his terms I said it's like the tired after a really long bike ride but no sore muscles. A nap wouldn't help or happen. Pace yourself. The tiredness could be your body telling you that you can't be superwoman.

If you guys have never used a sun lamp I really recommend it. Last year was my second winter in the PNW after moving from SoCal. I think the sun lamp at breakfast helped make me more awake in the day and sleep sounder at night.
 
#4 ·
I had been really struggling with fatigue for a few weeks...not just sleepiness, but must-lie-down-now fatigue. It alleviated *completely* when I upped my D3 dosage. My bloodwork showed I was a bit low, but I must not have been supplementing enough. I went from 4,000IU to 8,000IU and felt a difference that day. Now it isn't an issue at all. I feel like magnesium at night (the nights I remember to take it I will sleep like the dead, won't even wake up to pee) and the D3 drops in the morning are my magic formula.


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#5 ·
Thanks for the advice, @luckiest! I probably should up the D3 now that winter is on it's way. That's a good reminder. I know Floradix WITH my prenatal has also been helping, but it's a 3-a-day prenatal and the Floradix is twice a day AND I've found that I definitely get more iron (or at least it feels like it) when I take them without food, so I rarely remember them as often as I should. I need to work on that.

I finally bought magnesium oil, and aside from the sting, it has been incredible for sleep. I rub it on my legs in the evening and it destroys RLS in its tracks. And I sleep more soundly. I have to wash it off after 30 minutes because it stings, so some nights (like tonight) I'm too tired to deal with it, and I notice the difference.

Although tonight I think I'll be too tired to tell...
 
#6 · (Edited)
Add another one to the exhausted crew. My bloodwork is normal. The midwife looked at me with a concerned look and said - I wonder if it could be the 3 kids, homeschooling, working-out everyday, driving the kids to and fro - and general life.

I guess it could be, but I can't take anything out - so I guess I just have to deal. I figure, it's only going to get worse with a fourth.

I am starting to get the sickies back. I wonder why? I'm thinking it may be a blood sugar drop, but how? I am not hungry. It seems like everytime I turn around, I am eating something high protein. I don't think I can stuff anything else down there. Between the baby and the constant flow of gas, I'm stuffed.

And the baby seems to have gone through a huge growth spurt. WOW! I'm bigger now than I was at 43 weeks with my past pregnancies. The baby is ever present with regular kicks, bumps and rolls. You guys feeling it?
 
#7 ·
I am not feeling tons of movement. But whenever I think it seems too quiet, I get a little thud. She's sleepy, I guess. I ate way too much candy today. I was preparing a red kuri squash for soup, and I got low blood sugar and boy did I make short work of any halloween candy with citric acid that was in sight. No room for the squash, so it was such a fail. Hate when I do that!

I get a terrible feeling whenever I take any vitamins or my D3--like a terrible, toxic sick feeling. Floradix wasn't like that, but I've run out and won't get more for a while. I bought the fem dophilus but have been forgetting to take it. I'll store it up for mega dosing closer to the strep test.

Energy wise, I'm low for sure. It's been very cold and I wish I had a down jacket that would fit. I'm thinking of the Jo Jo Maman Bebe mama coat with removable panel. Not sure it's that much warmer than what I have already. So the feeling that it's too cold to go out makes my energy that much lower.
 
#8 ·
Geez, I am loving these baby kicks!! I'm getting so used to them that I'm starting to wonder what it will feel like when there isn't a baby in there anymore. I know I'll have a little girl to snuggle with then, but there is something incredible about the constant presence of this person with me. She is a little companion and her kicks are a regular reminder that I am doing something absolutely miraculous and amazing.

Maybe once those elbows and feet reach full size I'll feel differently. :)

Some days she is more active than others (or maybe positioned differently so I can't feel her as well). After a few days of feeling her bebop around all over the place, yesterday she was pretty quiet and I missed her. Today she is still a little quiet, but less so. I welcomed her back!
 
#9 ·
I'm not crashing as much as it sounds like you ladies are, yet, though I am exhausted by about 9pm (note that I'm still awake to post this at 1am, though). I HAVE been experiencing continuous rhinitis! I'm so over it!! I finally bought a diffuser, and have been diffusing Breathe and On Guard essential oils for the last 2 days. I think it's helping some. But tonight I accidentally dropped WAY too much calming in the diffuser, and even though I've shut it off, the stench is still bothering me. Yuck, it does NOT diffuse well!

I'm like Rosemarino. I don't feel my little bean a ton, but just enough. I think it's partly that my placenta is somewhat anterior, and partly that I have more belly fat than I did with my previous ones. I'm not overall heavier, but I think things are a bit shifted, kwim? I did feel the babe a lot last night, but then today not as much. Just the occasional bump. I can't wait 'til DH can feel- he says it's his favorite part of pregnancy.

So, I went to my sister's annual craft party last weekend, where she had us make homemade lip balm (which was great). And I got inspired to start making all kinds of beauty products at home. I've been worrying about cutting out all the crappy chemicals in everything we use on a regular basis anyway. Anybody else do this? I've found a ton of info online, of course, and I'm actually justifying the start-up cost by telling DH we'll just give the stuff out as Christmas gifts to all the adults on our list. I'm going to make shave cream, aftershave, face scrub, lotion sticks, body butter, and maybe a few other things. Most of it has the same few ingredients, and I already use the essential oils, so I have some of it on hand. Since you buy most things by the pound, it will cost the same (initially) to make 1 as 10, so I might as well give some away & use money earmarked for gifts. Then, if we're happy with what I make, we can just keep making/using it, and will save money in the long run by not buying expensive chemical versions. I'm even going to try making some cosmetics. I wear makeup EVERY day, and although I've been using mineral makeup for some time, it is quite expensive. I'm thinking that even if homemade isn't quite as good as Bare Minerals, I can save $ by switching to the homemade stuff on at-home (or mostly at-home) days.

Oh, and not to write a book here (sorry), but my parents had to put their dog to sleep today (inoperable tumor). He was 13 years old, and they treated him like he was their kid. If you could, send prayers / good vibes their way? They need it. Thanks!
 
#10 ·
:( doggy. i'm sorry.

The cosmetics/products stuff sounds so great. I dabbled in that, and it was very fun.

Over here I'm stressed out because a kid in my son's class just moved in up the street and he lives with his grandma because his parents are drug/alcohol addicts. Mom not in the picture. He was exposed to all that in utero. :( He has permanent damage although on the surface seems normal enough except for being extremely violent and scary. Grandma wants him to be friends with my son and keeps asking and asking and I did let him go over there once for an hour before I knew any of this. He ended up watching a violent show and when grandma failed to walk P home, I went up there and had the kid point a huge, huge toy gun to my temple and pretend to blow my brains out. I'm seriously not at all interested in having this kid have play dates with my kid. I know it's a sad situation but my kid is so intentionally sheltered and innocent and watches nothing but a family movie 1x/week. I'm supposed to call back grandma to let her know if kid can come over today and I have to say no but it is so awkward. I have a friend who tried to be welcoming to the kid (who is only 7 by the way!) and ended up distancing them because there were just such terrible comments coming from him, to the tune of how he was going to go home and beat up his old lady. That kind of thing. UGH. I was up all night. This stinks. Sorry to dump.
 
#11 ·
Hey moms!

:crying: Poor doggy.

I'm definitely exhausted lately as well. I'm feeling so much pressure *down there* when I sit on the toilet - it really feels like this baby is closer to 35 weeks than almost-24. I go to the OB on Tuesday and I'm going to mention it. I'm worried that the progesterone isn't working and I'm dilating. My 4th baby really pushed my body too its limits and I'm so worried about what is going to happen as the baby gets bigger.

Went on a weekend overnight camp for TaeKwonDo. I couldn't do all the seminars, but it was a lot of fun :smile:

No names yet. Have you named your little one?
 
#12 ·
OK, I have more to say in response to some of the latest posts, but for now after having looked at car seats online while I was eating my breakfast, I just want to say:

WHY do they put flame retardants on car seats? I know, "State of California," blah blah blah, but whose terrible idea was it in the first place? I feel similarly about beds and couches, but even there I can make myself understand how some committee thought of the risk of someone falling asleep with a lit cigarette or something. But a car seat? If my car is ON FIRE and my baby is stuck in it, I don't think some flame retardant chemicals on the fabric are going to create a magical force field that keeps my baby in a cool bubble of safety.

What they will do is expose my baby to all kinds of toxic chemicals. That will happen without a doubt. And I don't trust the claims of the more "eco-friendly" car seat companies. It looks to me like replacing one set of toxins with another. And a way to charge upwards of $400 for a still-toxic car seat.

That's my rant for the day. More constructive posting later!
 
#13 · (Edited)
FWIW We have a mattress that is technically a futon mattress but it's completely flat. Since its filled with cotton it was not treated with flame retardants--cotton doesn't flame up apparently, just chars and disintegrates, same with wool. I think it was $200, too. Came with a warning about how it wasn't treated ;)

Eta: why don't you trust the claims of the other car seat companies? Do you have evidence that they are still toxic? I'm just not following this part of your (understandable) rant! It is really troubling that these chemicals are present in all of our upholstery.
 
#14 ·
Yes, we've figured out ways around it with mattresses and furniture and stuff, too. I'm confident that we'll be able to find a crib/co-sleeper mattress that is chemical-free, since we sleep on an organic cotton/wool (not vegan!) mattress ourselves and saw all kinds of baby mattresses for sale when we were looking for our own. But when it comes to car seats, it seems like it's impossible to find. Maybe the restrictions are tighter. And the companies are bigger and, unlike mattresses, there's no way around using synthetic materials in a car seat. I don't expect it to be free of toxic chemicals, but it seems silly to inject more into it for no good reason.

I was about to choose the Orbit seat (well, if we managed to come up with the money), but I get more confused the more I read. Of course it's mostly random websites. I can't find links to any good studies, and Orbit claims that the healthystuff.org testing that found evidence of toxic chemicals in their products was "probably" botched. But there are sites like this out there: http://organicbabyuniversity.com/bl...rdants-in-children-products-strollers-part-2/ I've seen various (again, random) sources claiming that Duke University did a test of some Orbit seats and found TDCPP and Firemaster 550. Whether or not it's true, I have no idea.

But that's what's frustrating. It shouldn't be so complicated. My suspicion arises from having encountered so, so many commercial products that are "______-free" but just substitute that chemical for another equally-toxic one that people don't hear as much about unless they've done lots of research. I can't imagine there is really a non-toxic flame retardant out there (partly because my mattress search confirmed that there isn't one, which is why we went with wool). I've seen some mattress companies manage it with some sort of baking soda spray (and others, like ours, that don't use any), but I haven't seen any evidence of car seat companies doing that. So as long as the requirement for flame retardants exists, I think I must by definition be exposing my child's skin to some sort of nastiness when I put her in a car seat. I don't even necessarily blame it on the car seat manufacturers. I blame it on the stupid rule that doesn't make any sense.

I feel like instead of clarifying my point I might have just made it more rambly and ranty. :)
 
#15 ·
OK, now for some responses I've been wanting to post!

@Rosemarino , what a tough position. I would be right there with you feeling VERY uncomfortable with my kid hanging out in that house. It's tough, isn't it, because if a kid like your neighbor doesn't have any friends who are good boys, then where will his positive influences be? I get what his grandma is going for and I understand your own sense of stress/guilt, there. But in the end, I think a lot of parents/guardians think that if their kid just started hanging out with a better crowd, all of their problems would be gone. It will take so much more than that for this boy to be healthy. I hope, given his history, that they have him in counseling and that his school will be able to offer some additional services and positive adult influences. But for now, they can't expect to just stick another kid in the room with him, let them do whatever they want, and hope this new little boy will be able to correct their grandson's behavior. Kids don't work like that!

Out of curiosity, how did you manage the conversation with grandma? We live in a neighborhood with a fair amount of drug abuse and domestic violence and I imagine we could end up in a similar situation someday. I'd love to hear how you managed it.

@Yaliina , I love that you're making your own stuff! I want to hear all about the cosmetics, in particular. We either make stuff (I mean basic stuff, like using witch hazel and jojoba oil as eye makeup remover) or are otherwise pretty happy with the sources of our hygiene products, but sometimes I wonder about makeup. I use mineral-based stuff, too, but those ingredient lists are still long and I still wonder. If you figure it out, you must share!

@Carys3 , I hope everything turns out to be OK and that it's just an increased blood flow thing. It's so hard to tell whether the things we're feeling are just weird quirks of pregnancy or causes for concern. It doesn't help that "every pregnancy is different" either!
 
#16 · (Edited)
Had a freak out last night. My vulvar varicose veins are THROBBING and I could feel that they were huge so I took a peak and I *think* I saw my cervix. I called the midwives and I'm coming in today to check things out. If it's some kind of prolapse I guess they'll fit me for a pessary. It really hurts. I have continued to walk even though each step hurts badly. This is the part I was dreading and now it is here. I am wearing 3 thick pads today to prop up my lady bits. Have to wait until 3 for the appointment, where they will likely tell me it is nothing. I did order the V2 supporter today. I think I have to wait a week for it to arrive though!

Indiana, what has happened so far re:my son and the neighbor kid is that I had a talk with Pascal to just tell him that I've noticed Devin saying things and playing in ways that make me uncomfortable, and that are ways that we don't do in our house. I said it was okay with me to have play dates with him at our house if that is what Pascal wants truly. But I asked him to think about how he feels when they are playing: does he feel relaxed, comfortable and like he's enjoying himself? Or does he feel differently than that. This struck a chord with him and he said he'd have to think about that. He is feeling it out this week. Yesterday at the bus stop Devin's grandma told me he'd said to her, "Pascal is like a father to me." :( :( :( I had nothing. For one thing, Devin is a year older, having stayed back. And for another how sad that he can only identify a father figure in a classmate who "helps him pay attention and do good work." So we're not through it, but I do think it's going ok. His teacher is involved, too, which makes me feel supported. She's pretty great. And yes, it's true that the boy needs good influences. But I think that is a lot of pressure to put on a little boy. I remember being expected to be a good influence on certain kids and there was just no way I could be myself or feel at ease in that situation. This has to be a friendship, not some kind of charity case. It has to be mutual. For one thing, the kid runs out into the street. I mean, I can't have him here and not have my eyes on him the whole time. He's violent and aggressive and sudden in this. It's just got to be coming from Pascal. You know?
@Carys3 have you been to the ob and had any information about the pressure? That is exactly like I have. Only I know mine has another lovely aspect to it and it's happened before. However this does seem early.
 
#17 ·
de-lurking - FTM of twins

Hi All -

I haven't posted since August but I wanted to pop-in and say hello and thank you all for sharing all your news/challenges/joys. I'm really enjoying this forum.

Just a quick update from me - 20 weeks with identical twin boys! Everything is going well so far. No sign of twin-to-twin transfusion or anything worrisome. Knock wood. 1st Tri was really hard but I'm past it. Now I'm just a little tired and easily out of breath. Trying not to do too much which is sometimes hard, sometimes a welcome excuse ;)

Anyway, thought I'd say hello and "keep on truckin'" to everyone in the group!
Best,
C.
 
#18 ·
That is a tough situation, Rosemarino. It sounds like you are dealing with it in the most constructive way possible. Doesn't make it any easier, though. There's a book I read when my oldest was little that helped me decide how to deal with some conflict of parenting styles between my husband & myself (we were raised somewhat differently, but are both open to finding better alternatives where we can). It's called "Killing Monsters" and I don't remember the author's name off the top, but it was a psychological perspective of how kids deal with scary stuff... sounds like if you're going to be spending any time with this neighbor kid (who has undoubtedly seen/experienced some scary stuff), it might help you. Just a suggestion. I'm sure there are better books out there, but that's one I've read & thought was worthwhile.
@Carys3, I hope everything is alright & the OB has a good answer for you. Sending positive thoughts.

OK, I just fell asleep sitting here reading this thread at work. :W It is a really slow day (I've only seen one patient so far), but I think that was the first time I've actually dozed off while on the clock. Guess the exhaustion is getting to me now. The last 2 nights, my 8 year-old woke me at 5am with either a bad dream or "just can't sleep". I don't know what's up with that, but having him in our bed certainly prevented ME from getting back to sleep. He's HUGE & a bed-hog to boot. I may just crash when I get home today.

I ordered all the stuff for my cosmetic/toiletry creations, so I'll certainly keep you all posted when I start making stuff. I am still looking for jars, etc., to put the stuff in. I want gift-worthy, so am saving mason jars as a last resort. I found some at Michael's, but was hoping to find better deals elsewhere. If I can stay awake, I may check out Tuesday Morning after work. Any other suggestions? I tried $1 Tree & Ross/Marshall's/TJ Max.
 
#21 ·
She sure did!

At least this way you can laugh a little even while you groan about having to put it on.

I'm really glad to hear that it wasn't your cervix. I would have been freaking out if I'd felt that. Not that painful varicose veins are so fantastic, either. What a huge bummer that you get these. Does it eliminate the possibility of exercise altogether, outside of maybe swimming, or can you grit your teeth through a walk if you wear support?

@cmichael77 , it's great to hear from you! And to hear that you're having twins! I can't wait to hear how things go for you!
 
#22 ·
I grit my teeth and walk. I rested today and the pain was SO much better. I think that the triple pads in my pants (some online thing suggested that to put pressure on the varicosities) threw my hips out of alignment. It was crazy. Today, no pads and no limping, either. I will see about tomorrow taking a walk.

Yeah @cmichael77, you are making up for our overall dearth of boys!
 
#23 ·
I had my ultrasound yesterday. Everything went well. I have a tiny lip previa - I think. Same ole, same ole. I was hoping that I wouldn't have to deal with it - but nope. Cinnamonum here I come. It's so tiny and i have so much growing to do that it hardly even seems worth it. I'm not worried about it at all, it's just annoying.

Other than that, everything is present and accounted for. Everything is in the right place. That's a win for the geezer mom. The baby was drinking the amniotic fluid, which was really cute.

I have a mover and grover in there though. The baby is so very active - much more womb active than my other kids. I guess this kid has places to go. I swear the baby flipped about 10 times during the exam.
 
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#25 ·
@Rosemarino I have no other choice. My body tends to grow these abnormally big placentas and I am not sure why. My last pregnancy I was a complete previa at 16 or so weeks. By 31 weeks it had resolved itself. So a small bit, if any at all doesn't bother me. Last time, I found it when I bled like Niagra Falls. It's weird that I haven't bled since I have been exercising everyday since day one. I have been jumping, doing burpees,running around with the kids etc. and no bleeding - which is odd.

The only time I had some spotting was after sex - I had brown spotting the next day.

It's just annoying that I even have to think about it at all.
 
#26 ·
Lisa, I'm glad the ultrasound went well, minus the previa. Thank goodness they have a history of resolving themselves. I hope you follow the same pattern this time.

I have been exercising a little more this week. Today I walked a WHOLE MILE (ha!) at a brisk pace (a little under 4mph) and then did prenatal yoga afterward. I didn't feel bad afterward, I guess, but I didn't feel good, either. I felt deficient. I just don't think my blood sugar keeps up. Or my blood pressure. Or my hemoglobin. Or something. To think that the week I conceived I was going on 11 mile hikes in the desert.

Since I have this super athletic feat to accomplish in 4 months, I've decided to see if I can gently increase my walks to at least 3 miles at the same pace and keep doing lots of yoga and other exercises throughout the day. My hope is that I'll feel better as I get more in shape. If not, it will be time for iron and blood sugar tests anyway, so we'll see if those are the issue.

The last thing is that I think I might be developing diastasis recti. When I did the gentle crunch test I had a pretty obvious bulge along my midline. And I've been feeling some mild burning along that line for a few weeks now. I've always had bad muscle tone in my abs (even when actively working out), and I suspected that was why my belly was pooching out so far so fast with this pregnancy. Now I suspect diastasis recti, and having done research, I'm not surprised that I would have it, given my abdominal tone. My goal is to keep it from getting too bad, if I can help it. I'm doing some of my old PT exercises to strengthen my transversus abdominis and making sure to get into and out of bed sideways, not lift heavy things, or do anything remotely like a crunch (no front planks, avoiding certain yoga moves, making sure to support my belly when I sneeze or cough, etc.).

Wheeeee.
 
#27 ·
I have diastasis recti, too. I need to take care of it to heal it after this baby. I will be requesting a pt referral. One woman in my other ddc has had 6 kids and recently healed hers. I tried after my son using "Heal your mummy tummy" but didn't really keep up with it very well.

Yesterday I did a prenatal yoga video for the first time. I'm not sure about it...it's so much slower and (excuse me!) more boring than I think I can handle doing daily. We shall see. Walking has become excruciating. I'm not sure if I remember whether or not the RL pain subsides at some point. But right now it's crazy. I am a very active person normally and I am really sick of being such a lump.
 
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