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February Chat

4K views 143 replies 12 participants last post by  Yaliina 
#1 · (Edited)
February! Whoa.

Today I finally got the, "Hell, when I was a kid we played with mercury and ran behind the DEET truck and I turned out fine," comment from my mom today, in response to something I said about some product. I was starting to think maybe I'd be lucky and it wouldn't happen, because she has been pretty chill about my parenting ideas so far, but it did. (She actually said it nicer than that, but the message was crystal clear.) And the conversation continued for a while, so that by the time I was off the phone, I thought, "now I don't feel like I can trust my mom to respect my parenting choices when I leave her alone with my kid." I guess that was inevitable. But I was holding out hope.

She also said over Christmas, "Ugh, just don't be one of those parents who lets your kid sleep in your bed forever. Those kids are always weird." (She's a preschool teacher.) That was when we told her we were building a sidecar for the bed.

And she's trying really hard to be understanding. I can't imagine what she must have dealt with with my grandma, who just totally disregarded her decisions whenever her back was turned and proudly told her about it. I wonder if I'll remember times like this when/if my daughter has children. I saw a post on a forum once where a soon-to-be grandma was asking for advice about what parenting books were current because she wanted to be educated in the way her daughter would want to do things, assuming the general knowledge had changed since she did it. I was jealous. :)
 
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#3 ·
I'm sorry about your mom. That's hard. :( I come from a cosleeping family but my parents think lots of other things I do are weird. They really are pretty good about being understanding and supportive but my mom says other obnoxious things. Yesterday at her house I was having a hard time catching my breath or standing very long and she just kept making comments about how it was too early for that and how am I going to make it the rest of the pregnancy if I can't stand now, etc. Thanks for the encouragement, Mom.
 
#4 ·
Btw, hopefully, like my mom it's just kind of speaking without thinking. ;) I know my mom loves me and means well but I think sometimes she just forgets to filter.

And regarding spring: it's supposed to be 83 degrees over here in the desert tomorrow so yeah, I'd say spring has sprung. ;)
 
#6 ·
I wanted to say that my friends and I are having a freezer meal shower. Two of us (due around the same time) don't want a traditional shower. And then the other two do, but are also participating. Add a couple other friends and we have a nice stash of meals in the freezer to rely on!
 
#13 ·
I haven't heard anyone say the grandparents follow the parents direction exactly but that's probably something they don't feel like mentioning/take for granted.

Over Xmas time my mom's man asked about my niece's amber teething necklace. My mom said in the most condescending tone, "those are her magic juju beads." My sister and I were both like, "mom!?" To which she said, "but I like magic juju beads!" My mom can be silly so I get the name but it was the tone that bothered us and she eventually understood that. I guess I'm lucky because I'm the third daughter to have kids. My first sister to have kids got a lot of the "deet comments."

Freezer meal shower is a great idea! Reminds me to clean out my freezer since it is already full and unorganized. I made my sister a bunch of crockpot meals that were put in the freezer for her second baby.
 
#14 ·
I hear you about your parents. Mine are in some ways very supportive & understanding, but other times they act like MY grandparents. Fortunately, my parents were pretty liberal given where they came from. My mom even had 3 natural childbirths (the last one in a birthing center), breastfed all of us despite her MIL threatening to take me to a neurologist for evaluation (she thought Mom was killing me by BFing!), and they didn't circumcise my brother. They've been pretty supportive for the most part, but they still tell me they think I'm doing things wrong- like being "too lenient" or babying the boys too much. My mom used to say that my oldest was "in for a rude awakening" when my youngest was born- and they were concerned that he was not disciplined enough (he couldn't sit still at the table until he was 6). Now, they're saying the same things about my youngest, as though they have completely forgotten that they ever said it about the oldest, who at 9, is well-mannered, and a terrific big brother.

I think it's because my mom remembers being overwhelmed when we were little, and she could never stand to have us climbing on her or making a lot of noise. We were preacher's kids, so we had to be well-behaved most of the time. My kids are not forced into that role, and I don't mind (so much) when they climb on me or sit in my lap at odd times or run around being boys in public. It drives my mom nuts, though. But I chose to have each of my kids when I did, while she didn't intend to have all of us, and certainly not as close together as she did. Thank God birth control has gotten so much better in the last 30 years!!

My in-laws are different. They really come from a very mainstream (*******) background & were that way themselves with DH & his bro. Surprisingly, they make a real effort to be supportive- or at least, to not interfere with our decisions. They ask questions, but don't often say anything judgmental or offensive. I do hear comments sometimes about some of our decisions, but they pretty much follow our rules when we leave the boys with them. That being said, now that the boys are older, we tell them we're OK with grandparents spoiling them with chocolate, TV, toys, etc. Because they don't live near us, so it's not often.
 
#15 ·
@Rosemarino did your friend seriously fall?! Not okay! @indiana, you so should move here. ;) I love it.

Now my MIL isn't a huge fan of how we do things. She kind of follows our rules and doesn't make comments to my face very often (because i talk back) but she definitely shares her feelings with everyone else. My SIL and I fill each other in on the things she says about us to each other. So that's nice.
 
#16 ·
Hey guys!

February already? I remember it being September and Feb seeming soooo far away.

What are you guys doing to prepare? For me, I'm getting a basket ready, putting in a blanket - and calling it a day. I have gotten all the baby clothes in one box and will get around to washing a few in the next month or so. I did order my birth kit, oral vit K and after ease!

That is about it. In a few weeks I'm going to vit load for my GBS test.

Oh yeah, my hubby wants to upgrade our minivan so we are going to Honda today to test drive some 2012 Odyssey's. Our van is running pretty well besides the passenger side sliding door which is sort of iffy, but all in all, it's a fine 2009. I'm not going to lie though, even thought we don't NEED it, I am excited about the prospect. I really want a rear gate lift and he said I could have that, so,,, I know, something else to break, but... There have been so many times when I wiished I had that rear gate lift. I know, super silly. I guess I am just the typical greedy Amaerican. So, that is my excitement today - test driving Odyssey's with a rear gate lift.

Where has life taken me?

So happy you are all well.
 
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#17 ·
Lisa, you may have mentioned this somewhere already, but what is your protocol for preventing GBS? I'm already on a pretty powerful probiotic (have been since well before pregnancy for pre-existing gut issues), but I saw you mentioned vitamins.

Have fun with the test drives!! I hope you find what you're looking for! Motherhood certainly is a different season of life, isn't it?
 
#19 ·
Sound like fun, Lisa. My hubby comes from a family that keeps new(ish) cars, and I come from a family that runs them into the ground before selling them to the junk man and buying the next old piece of crap. So, I've lived both ways. I have to say, I really do like DH's insistence that I have a newer car. He even bought me a NEW-new (2014) Flex last year with all the bells and whistles (including the power rear lift gate). Yes, that lift gate, and the remote start and the navigation system are all really nice. My favorite features, though, are the heated seats (can't say how much I LOVE those), reverse camera AND sensor, and the inflatable rear seatbelts. But my minivan didn't have that stuff & I remember feeling like that power lift gate was the ONE missing feature. :)

Great info about GBS, willsmom. I would be interested in hearing Lisa's regimen for it. I also need to start looking up about how it impacts a c-section. I'll be getting abx anyway, but i haven't been able to talk with the surgeon yet about pre-incision vs. post cord-clamping. The PA told me she does pre-incision, but I want to know her reasons & if she's willing to change that. I'm really concerned about the gut flora of the baby. My youngest has eczema, and it's probably due at least in part, to the fact that he's a c-section baby & had abx (I'm sure- although I didn't ask at the time).

Also, @Lisa R. Nelson, would you tell me what vitamin K you ordered & from where? I want to do an oral dose of that, but I'm not sure if my family doc will be able to order it or if I should just have them administer the IM dose orally... I read that's doable, but I can't seem to find confirmation. I would prefer to have my doc order it (she probably will if she can- she's pretty cool, I think), but I also read you can't get it in the States. ??? It's hard to find reliable info on it. So, if you would share your source, I'd appreciate it.
 
#21 ·
About the gut flora... A few years ago maybe I read a really interesting article about gut flora. It included an interview with a man who studies the gut flora of isolated indigenous people vs people in industrialized society and prevelance of diseases. When his wife had an unplanned CS he was so concerned about his child's gut flora that he swabbed his wife's vagina and simply put it in the baby's mouth. Anyone know the article? I've tried searching for it. Know of any new studies of effects of swabbing like he did?

Kinda off topic but I've also been reading about fecal transplant. I have a sister with ulcerative colitis (and thyroid disease which is also autoimmune and although no western dr will say they are related we think it is) so we are so hopeful they will develop some sort of treatment or cure.
 
#22 ·
@willsmom I love that article. I read one on evidence based birth and she seemed to think it was more important. I have to go back and rad that one again, but this one makes so much sense.

My midwife insists that I take the test, I don't know why. My last midwife didn't care either way but did say that if I ended up in the hospital, they would treat the baby no matter what, even if I refused the treatment. This is in Maryland, Virginia and DC. I have never tested positive and I didn't want unnecessary treatment.

I will post my recipe in the next post.
 
#23 ·
I think fecal transplants are the medicine of the future. There will be so much to figure out between then and now, but it will happen! And that will be an important day!

As for the vaginal swab, that kind of confuses me, even though I've heard of people doing that, too. The flora of the vagina and gut are very different - I suppose because the needs are different and the environment is different. In vaginal birth, all the parts are smashed so close together that I bet the baby can't help but get exposed to both vaginal AND gut flora (which I imagine is why they swab both your vag and your rectum for GBS). So I wonder if a vaginal swab would do much good for gut health. I guess it couldn't hurt??

Whoa...that makes me wonder if there is any difference in gut health between OA and OP babies. Somebody should study that!!

In either case, my gut flora are so messed up from having a habitual antibiotics prescriber as a doctor for the first 18 years of my life that I feel kind of bad for my baby. I hope she manages to balance what she gets from me. Hopefully the probiotic will help...
 
#25 · (Edited)
But seriously, one question I have is that if you have abx during your birth, wouldn't your good bacteria be affected? So what good would putting that in your baby's mouth do? I don't want to be confrontational. I am seriously not getting that at all!

ETA: I just found an article with the information on the procedure, so I see that it is being studied. :) Very interesting.
 
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