Neonalee, I found our with DS1 and had no preference so I was just excited to have a baby. I didn't find out with DS2 and was hoping for a girl, but when he came out, I only had a teeny fleeting moment of readjustment/disappointment, then I was in love. Also, his was a fantastic water birth, peaceful and fast. I felt really empowered and that helped me adjust quickly to another son. I found out with DS3 because I kinda had a stronger preference for a girl as I was thinking he would probably be my last baby. Once I found out it was a third boy, I unexpectedly cried and felt a little defeated and disappointed for a day (hormones didn't help) and felt I would never have a daughter, and then bucked up and got excited about giving DS2 a little brother (they are two years apart and best friends now). By the time birth rolled around, there was NO feeling other than awe and love. And he came out a red head, which was sooooo sweet and unexpected.
Now I KNOW this one is my last baby. I have been preparing myself for this to be my last hurrah, and have tried hard to come to emotional terms with it being another boy. DH helps by telling me it is most likely a boy. That is true. It most likely IS a boy. I think I need to find out early in order to prepare myself.
We tried for a girl this time, did a bunch of dietary and lifestyle changes to sway in favor of a girl, really jsut evening out the odds since the odds in my case were more in favor of having another boy. My sway was pretty good, so that gives me some hope. But I'm trying not to have too much hope. The higher the hope, the harder you fall. And I don't want to feel bad about this baby. I am determined not to.
Wife to my Sweetness and Light, DH (03), WAHM to DS('01), DS('11), and DS('13) and our first, beloved DD('15). Encouraging mothers everywhere to write for their lives. Expecting our last rainbow baby January 2018. MMC Saorise Mar at 13 weeks will always be in our hearts. <3