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Chit Chat Thread 1/20 - 1/26

845 views 22 replies 10 participants last post by  MLog 
#1 ·
And it's a new week ladies!

What's everyone up to? We're having really weird warm weather here, but I can't complain. It was really nice when I took a break from working to run errands - no coat needed :D

Also, anyone have advice for dealing with an overbearing MIL? Or how I can react to demands for updates/bump pictures/dr's appointment dates/unwanted gifts without making this suuuper awkward/coming off as totally ungrateful? (note, both our families are in Texas, so I get her feeling like she's "missing out", but I feel like she's overstepping. The contrast is that my own mother will ask how I am in general when we talk and leave it at that. Night and day.)
 
#2 ·
Overall pretty good here. I am annoyed that I still can't seem to handle things containing large amounts of tomato. Marinara sauce makes me feel nasty and just last night I was up SUPER late after eating chilli. I have jars and jars of lovely home canned tomatoes that I want nothing to do with :( Fresh seems to be ok but more concentrated higher volumes don't make my belly happy.

We find out what we are having Friday am and I am SO excited and SO nervous!!

So on the overbearing mother in law thing that stinks. I don't have good feelings toward mine right now so I should probably not open my mouth :p I guess I just know how it can be. I will say have your hubby talk to her about any issues. It's hard.
 
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#3 ·
Hi Lizzy,

We are having strangely warm weather as well. Hopefully we will get some winter here in northern California, but I don't think anyone is holding their breath...

I want to follow this conversation for mother-in-law advice as well. Like you, we have been having difficulty - I'm sorry you're dealing with it! We've decided that we are going to have a meeting with her and her husband and set the groundwork for moving forward in our new roles as parents and grandparents.

The issue specifically with my MIL is possessiveness. She always refers to the baby as OUR baby, collectively, and says she is so happy for US, clearly including herself. She has never said "I'm happy for you two" or "You're going to be good parents" or anything like that. It is driving my husband crazy, and it does get under my skin. In general conversation, she does not seem to get that this is our (not OUR) baby and our parenting journey, and her role is one of an additional source of love and support. It's not going to be a fun talk, as she is very sensitive and tends to dramatize. I have found some information on the American Grandparenting Association (it's a thing!) that we may send after the family meeting: http://www.grandparents.com/family-...ters/barbara-grahams-7-laws-of-grandparenting. Maybe it will help you as well. Wish us luck!

I am sure you'll get some great advice. Best of luck to you!
 
#4 ·
Been warmish here as well. Not warm enough to leave the coat at home, but enough to make me feel like less of a wimp about getting outside. I really should get back in the habit of taking daily walks.

Sorry about the MIL problems, mamas. I thank my lucky stars that both my family and dh's are mostly sane and respectful.

So I bit the bullet and have started trying the naked method of potty training ds2 since yesterday. He's been in cloth training pants since last spring, and made some progress, but then lately it's just gotten to where he's treating the training pants like diapers, unless I take him potty every hour. Dh is skeptical that going naked will help. So far, he seems to be holding his pee a lot longer, but he still doesn't take himself potty until he's already wet the floor. I really want him to get to the point where he can take himself when he feels the need, because I just won't have the energy to be on top of it for him when the baby comes. So I'm crossing my fingers.

And, just because I know you'll all slap your foreheads with me, some guy on my friend's facebook post just claimed to know more about how uncomfortable and emotional pregnancy is than all the women in that thread (who have all been pregnant themselves, most of them multiple times). This was his defense after someone called him clueless because he didn't get what the big deal was about being asked, "Are you sure it's not twins??".

Seriously. :duh
 
#5 ·
I've got to get on it with my DS too. Potty training and sleeping. We did EC when he was a baby and he was out of diapers before two, but since I've been back at work, DP and I haven't been on it at all and he is back in pull ups :( He even recently stopped voluntarily pooping in the potty and he's been doing that since 16 months. As for sleep, he does have his own room, but I have to lay with him (in his toddler bed, ouch) for half an hour to get him to sleep, and then he comes into our bed (noisily) between 1 and 5 am almost every night. Last night, he kept me up most of the night with kicking and complaining (he's getting over the flu). I know that after the baby comes I'm a) not going to put in the effort for the potty training that I consider overdue, and b) not going to be able to lie down with him or deal with him messing around in our bed at night.

As soon as I'm done work at the end of the month, then I'll get on it ;)
 
#6 ·
Something for potty training - I've used this successfully with two little guys I nannied - egg timers! Start them off with 15/20 minute intervals and then adjust as you need. With one guy it worked in about a week (he was closer to three) and the other it was about 3 weeks (he was 20 months old). We even rigged up a carrier for them to keep the timers with them ;)

And thanks for the link @aprilh! I may print this out and happen to slip it into her purse when I'm in TX for the baby shower.
 
#7 ·
I just finished potty training DS3, and he is ding great! Hoping we can ditch the night diapers soon.
I have the same problem with bedtime. I recently moved him out of our bed onto a mattress on the floor, but he still wakes once (when I have to get up and lie down with him) and then again at about 5am when he gets in with us.
The problem we have is that he won't accept DH doing anything with him in the night - it causes a huge screaming tantrum that could go on for an hour, and wakes the other boys who need their sleep for school :irked
What the heck do I do about this??? I need him in the other kids' room and being dealt with by DH before these babies are born!
 
#8 ·
Jealous of warmer weather for some... I guess it's kind of warmer here? I mean, two days ago it actually got a bit above freezing (up to 34F... that's a big deal since for the last two months I don't think it's been above freezing).

No use of the potty here. About two months ago he was using it a bit, but then ditched it. I don't know how much to try because of a few factors. 1) I've heard boys can be notoriously later to use the potty than girls. All four of my girls were using the potty completely (through the night and all) at or just after turning two. DS is 27 months old ... wait... 28 months today, actually. So, there's that... and then 2) DS has a brain malformation that results in left-sided hemiplegia (basically, cerebral palsy of the left side). He is pretty mildly affected (you probably wouldn't ever notice much different about him if you saw him... he walks/runs fine.. his left hand is more affected with fine motor skills and strength). But.. I've read on some hemi support groups that it can cause delays in the sensation of needing to go.

I probably just need to dedicate a day or two to just naked time at home and see how it goes. I'll need dh home though because the older girls have too many activities that they need hauled around to for me to go it alone.

@babymonster -- our nighttime situation is equally as dire. Except ds isn't even out of our bed at all at night. I'd go the floor route, but dd4 comes into our room at night and sleeps on the cot on the floor... so first she has to stay in her room (which is *right* across the hall with two of her older sisters) and then work on getting ds out of our bed.. and THEN we could have a bed to ourselves plus baby... yikes.

Dh has been out of town and will be home tomorrow. I get pretty lazy/lax when he's gone and we've pretty much accomplished nothing in the house other than eating and some dishes. Ugh! I was on such a roll getting things done.. but.. now I'd rather just sew.
 
#9 ·
@justlizzy, thanks for the advice, I need all I can get :)
@babymonster, DS won't let DP do anything with him at night either. It's a huge scream fest.
@judybean, I am so like that when DP is gone. I let everything go and just craft and hang out lol.
 
#10 ·
The night problems are sounding familiar here as well. I have been putting him to sleep in our bed, and then moving him to his bed in his brother's room. He typically stays there until between 3-5am when he comes back to us. Although lately he's been just yelling for me from his bed rather than just coming in. Sometimes I can just go in there and lay him back down and he'll stay there until 7 or 8. I always feel so refreshed those days.

Last night he peed on my sheets right before bedtime, so I decided to try and put him to sleep in his bed with his brother. It did not go well. DS1 fell asleep alright, but Ds2 turned into raging-hulk baby and didn't crash until 11. Amazingly ds1 stayed asleep through the monstrous tantrum, so that's a good sign I guess...
 
#11 ·
I had my midwife appointment today - 26 weeks. I hate the midwives, hate all the doctors, hate the hospital. Gah.
They are so rude and patronising - that is partly just a french thing, but medical people are much worse. They are offended if you express any opinion, or ask them too many questions. I swear this midwife was hoping to find something wrong with me. She was looking at me like "really???" when I was answering no to all her questions. Anyway, she wrote me a prescription to get a midwife to come to our house EVERY WEEK starting from next week. Every week? Along with the every month ultrasounds, and every month stupid blood draws. Oh yeah, and I am supposed to have an MRI of my pelvis to check that it is 'adequate' despite having already birthed 3 babies, one of which was over 9lb.
I would totally be going for another UC if this was just one baby :irked

Anyway, sorry for the rant. Babies are doing well, I am feeling pretty good at the moment. My belly measures 32 weeks, and I look like I am due any day now, LOL

How is everyone?
 
#15 ·
I had my midwife appointment today - 26 weeks. I hate the midwives, hate all the doctors, hate the hospital. Gah.
They are so rude and patronising - that is partly just a french thing, but medical people are much worse. They are offended if you express any opinion, or ask them too many questions. I swear this midwife was hoping to find something wrong with me. She was looking at me like "really???" when I was answering no to all her questions. Anyway, she wrote me a prescription to get a midwife to come to our house EVERY WEEK starting from next week. Every week? Along with the every month ultrasounds, and every month stupid blood draws. Oh yeah, and I am supposed to have an MRI of my pelvis to check that it is 'adequate' despite having already birthed 3 babies, one of which was over 9lb.
I would totally be going for another UC if this was just one baby :irked

Anyway, sorry for the rant. Babies are doing well, I am feeling pretty good at the moment. My belly measures 32 weeks, and I look like I am due any day now, LOL

How is everyone?
Ugh, seriously?! Do they think there's actually a chance that your twins could be over 9lbs? Sorry for the dumb medical stuff, but yay that everyone looks healthy?
 
#12 ·
So nice to hear others are in the same boat with their youngest and night time. My 4 yr old has been spoiled! He sleeps in a toddler bed next to our bed but lays down in our bed to go to sleep. He doesn't nap so falls asleep very quickly, in just a few mins and than I switch him to his own bed. We were having lots of trouble with him staying covered and warm enough this winter during our cold snaps ( below zero stuff ) which brought him to our bed and woke us up too much. I came up with a solution which has really worked, I have a sleeping bag under him unzipped which I tuck his blankets into that I cover him with and its keeping his blankets on, and he;s not waking up much. I have started making him stay in his bed if he wakes now, to try to transition away from him coming into out bed. I get up tuck him back in his bed and its been working well. The upstairs room has steep wooden steps that we would move him to, and he would be next to his big brother, but his room is closest to the stairs so we know he would come down them to find us, we're not sure if were ready to move him up there or not. I do plan to get a twin bed for up there so that its an option for when baby arrives, or sooner of we get there!
 
#13 ·
having been there,babymonster, with my worst hospital birth /c-section, I would be very tempted to pay out of pocket for a good midwife and homebirth and pretty sure I will ,if I find out it is twins. A very good friend of mine had a midwife and an unexpected twin birth , that I was at. Her first was born at home and her second at a hospital, born breech as they were prepping to c-section her. I Loved that she popped it out breech! I have watched breech home birth videos and I would do that over a c-section any day. They will find any reason to section for twins, and its all so annoying. I am feeling so huge and really starting to worry about twins again, but I don't think I'm quite as big as you sound yet, lol! I think I will call a local midwife and see about a check up next week to ease my mind...
 
#16 ·
I know! It's so incredibly stupid. Everyone thinks so. Maybe they think the babies will be born side by side? :dizzy

RonnaLeigh - I totally would pay for a midwife if that option was available. Unfortunately what I have chosen is the best available where we are, hence why we did a UC last time :( If it was feasible to go back to the UK, I would.
 
#17 ·
Babymonster that is really frustrating that they want to do all those extra visits, scans and blood draws. I am glad everything is looking good with the babies.
We got my 3yo a new car seat (since he hit the weight limit on his old one), and I managed to get thee car seats across in our back seat, it's such a relief, now we don't have to get a new car yet!
 
#20 ·
Wow, you are doing really well! :twothumbs
Our new plan is that DH sleeps in the big bed with DS3. I sleep in his little bed. We'll do that for a couple of weeks so DS can get used to DH dealing with him at night. Then we attempt to move him to the kids' room. Ugh.

I think my belly had a huge growth spurt, I am so tired and heavy. Also my baby A flipped to breech and is non-stop kicking my cervix. It really hurts!
Working on finishing our kitchen (that we started 18 months ago) this week. We have a big list of jobs that ned doing in the house this year, as we are hoping to move next year. Fun times.
 
#21 ·
Oh jeez, @babymonster, that's just ridiculous!!
@Angelorum - That's awesome! We're having unexpected success with our DS too. Last night I left him, AWAKE, in his room and went to the other side of the house and he fell asleep by himself! DP and I are shocked and so pleased. I started by explaining that I couldn't lay in his little bed because it was uncomfortable and my big belly didn't fit anymore, but I would sit on a pillow near him. He protested (we have the sweetest cuddles at night and that's the hardest part for either of us to let go of I think) but stayed in his bed and went to sleep. Small protest the next night. Every other night for about a week, I've been moving my sitting pillow closer to his door, until I was outside it with it half closed. Then, two nights ago, it was very late and I was very tired; DS had had a late nap and wasn't very sleepy. I told him I couldn't stay with him anymore because I was too tired and I was going to my bed, and he actually went along with it and fell asleep after I was gone. Then tonight at regular bed time, same thing! He got up once after I went out, but let me put him back in bed. It really seems to help him when I kind of fuss over him and make sure he has everything he needs (cloud b turtle on, his doll and stuffy, blanket just so, kiss and hug, bottle of water, etc.). Next up, potty training ;)
 
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#22 ·
Sounds good, wanderinblues!

We've made a little progress on the potty training front. After 3 days of being mostly naked from the waist down, he's still not taking himself potty, ever. But, he's been holding his pee a lot longer, like 2-3 hours instead of 1 and it's a whole lot easier for me to remind him to go potty every 2-3 hours, so we've had fewer accidents. And he's been pooping on his potty more frequently than in his pants, which is a huge relief. Previously, I could never catch him pooping until it was too late, and he would often poop his pants 10 minutes after peeing on his potty. He's mostly back to wearing his training pants again, because he found where I had stashed them and just put them on himself, but if progress goes backwards again I won't hesitate to take them away again!

Midwife is coming over for an appt today, and I am relieved I can report to her I've gained 11 pounds from pre-preg weight. Then I really have to finish a sewing job I took on a week ago, so I can get back to making maternity/baby things.
 
#23 ·
I've been just reading along for the past couple of weeks. It's just been busy busy busy around here. And between DH, DS and me we were sick for a week and a half. That was rough. It started with stomach bug for all of us, and DH had two migraines, and then DS got a cold after all of that. We were all exhausted and grouchy for far too long.

Anyway, regarding MILs. Oh boy... I'm pretty sure every other post I wrote from my first DDC had some complaint or another about my MIL. She's really not that bad but definitely has some quirks that make me crazy. My biggest frustration currently is that she thinks that however she raised her boys will be just fine for DS even if I specifically ask her to do something differently. The smaller things I just have to learn to let go because they're providing free childcare for us three days a week and she's not putting DS in danger or neglectful or abusive. But I get frustrated that she's so laid back about whether or not DS naps. Or, the time they took DS on a four hour outing and didn't bring any snacks and then she's complaining that he had a meltdown. Um yeah, he's two, he needs food! Advice... be as direct as possible. Mostly I make DS handle dealing with her. He's very good at being direct. And my MIL responds well to documented evidence so when I didn't want DS to be watching tv I brought her the guidelines that recommended no screen time for children under two.

At 2.5 I feel like we are just starting to get DS' sleep habits under control. He does sleep in a crib in his own room all night (8:00pm-7:00am). It took us a long time to get to that point. There were many months where DH or I would have to lie on the floor next to the crib for up to an hour while DS fell asleep. Then he would wake up several times at night since we weren't still there. I need sleep. In fact, for me to actually be well rested I need 9-10 solid hours with no interruptions. That almost never happens, but I do not do well on interrupted sleep so the first 2 years of DS' life were awful for me. My family lives in California so we go to visit at least once a year. We have made all major sleep transitions upon returning home from California trips. Since we are all usually messed up from jet lag I use that opportunity to reset DS' sleep schedule as needed. This has worked well for us. Naps have just started to get under control as well. What makes naptime hard is that DS is home with me for naps on Mondays and Sundays, at a baby-sitter's on Fridays, at my IL's for naps Tue, Wed, Thurs, and home with DH for nap on Saturday. Getting everyone to be consistent about process and time is very hard. I know some kids that are go with the flow, but DS handles everything better with a consistent routine and expectations. He's a lot like me in that way. :grin:

Potty training - well, we did that for the most part in September. DS has not had a poop accident since then, but I'm still struggling with him not peeing in his underwear. I wholeheartedly recommend going naked on bottom. What is happening now is that he doesn't recognize he needs to go, will pee just a bit in his underwear, tell me he's wet, then I take him to the bathroom and he'll go the rest of the way on his little potty. If he's naked on the bottom then he'll just go right to his potty. He's never peed on the floor. I think that I should have done the naked bottom thing for much longer at home, but the weather got cold and I worry about his poor little legs freezing. Except that when I get frustrated after so many months with him peeing in his underpants I make him take his pants off anyway. He is not night trained but refuses to wear a diaper so most mornings we're changing the sheets. I'm uncomfortable withholding liquids in the evenings because we're really big on staying well hydrated. One day I did put him down for nap with a naked bottom and he woke up during nap, told me he needed to pee, so I took him to the potty, he went pee, and then went back down for the rest of his nap. So that gives me hope. When it's not so cold out I'm going to have him go naked bottom all the time for nap and nighttime and see if we can't get this taken care of.

I finished watching Call the Midwife this weekend. I remember there was chat about it early on. I had a hard time watching it in the beginning because I actually found it depressing, but the series grew on me and I was sad when I got to the end.

I read Diary of a Midwife which was actually written by one of my midwife's professors. Her writing style was a bit abrupt, but I really enjoyed the stories in it. Then I started reading another natural birthing book but it was way too out there for me. I don't even remember what it was called but I was rolling my eyes constantly while reading it so I gave up.

Last Thursday DS' pre-school teacher told me she was concerned that one of his eyes wasn't aligning properly. DH and I have been watching closely and it does look like there may be something going on. So, we have an appointment with a pediatric opthalmologist on Thursday. Now that I'm aware of an issue Thursday seems so far away...

Other than that it's going to be a fun week. Tomorrow we're taking a group of 20 students to the Kennedy Center to see the Mariinksy Ballet and this weekend I'm taking a small group to the Finger Lakes region of NY to rehearse at a theater that has a raked stage. All dance all the time!
 
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