Originally Posted by Serafina33
...and I'm still having a hard time looking at myself in the mirror with "dark" hair compared to blonde highlighted hair and feeling as pretty. I know I did the right thing by stopping the endless cycle of dealing with smelly chemicals for my health and the condition of my hair, but it's still hard not to feel like I look more drab.
But I look in the mirror and want to cry. It's so dumb but the sadness is palpable. So glad we can commiserate!
How I wish I had dark hair! I started having threads of gray in my late teens, maybe 20 years old, and it's just been progressing ever since (I'm now 37.)
I used a natural hair color up until my last pregnancy (2010) and then let it grow out. I hacked all of my very long hair off up to my ears (so sad, my then 7 year old daughter cried.)
I've had a couple of experiences that I wish I could let go of but that I really struggle with. The first was a young girl, maybe 5 years old, at the playground when I was with my toddler over the summer. She asked if I was his grandmother. Also this past summer, I was in line at the library with my 3 year old when a young man (maybe Haitian?) asked if I was my son's mother or grandmother. I was so taken aback that I struggled even to respond but managed to croak out that I was his mother. I figured that where he came from, perhaps it was very uncommon for women to turn gray at a young age.
Now that my bump is becoming more obvious, I'm really, really struggling to see my true self without attempting to see myself as the world sees me. I'm trying to prepare for the stares and even the thoughtless questions and remarks from children and careless strangers.
On another level, I think I've let the gray interfere with how I think of myself - meaning, I feel too old to have another baby (at 37!) and how can I make a healthy baby when I'm sooo old?
I know it's all society's pressure to never let down our guard against aging; fight it until the end!
I want to look youthful because pregnancy = fertility and fertility = youth, right?
Everyone tells me that my face is so young and my hair doesn't make me look old. It's very long again, something I've wanted ever since I cut it off. I have a thick silver streak in the front, running the length of the left side of my face. In the summer, when my skin is tanned, it's not so bad but when I'm so pale in winter, it's hard not to look washed out.
I see pictures of women with blond hair who blur the line between blond and gray and think how much easier it is for them to "let it go" because it blends so smoothly. And I wonder if I should color my hair that ash-blond-gray. Or should I add some low-lights to lessen the intensity of the gray?
And mostly, I want to not "fight" it because it's nature and it's who I am. (I'm also very low-maintenance and keeping up with roots is quite a commitment!)
I have no weight issues, pregnant or not, but this is my struggle.