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Pain Management during Natural Birth

2K views 24 replies 14 participants last post by  beep 
#1 ·
Maybe we should start a thread about this so that it will make it easier to locate and access the information when the need arises! Since this is my first pregnancy and I'm planning a natural home birth--I'm starting to get nervous because I have no idea what I'm in for, or what anything feels like, or what to do, or how to prepare, etc!

It's been on my mind because my best friend just had her first last week in the hospital--vaginally but with an epidural. And she continues to say how she "doesnt know how I'm going to do it because it hurt SO MUCH with the epidural". Not what I need or want to hear right now, but I know she means well....She just wants be to "be prepared".

Anywho, I started reading the hypnobirthing book. But I don't have any CD's or anything and I don't know if we'll be able to afford a class. What advice do second+ time mamas have? What worked for you the first time around? I only really know about hypnobirthing and the bradley method. Not sure what to try or if there's anything else out there. I feel like I have a high threshold for pain but I have absolutely no idea what to expect.
 
#2 ·
Birth to me is like an elite athletic event. If you've pushed yourself through different types of pain training for a sport, birth "pain" or "labour surges" might get sorted differently by your brain. At my birth my brain didn't see labour as pain. It's intense, challenging, exciting and it's a big huge deal. This is the biggest athletic feat of your life. Expectations are important, if you anticipate pain, you translate labour surges to pain in your head. To me labour just felt like muscle cramps, that feels different from tearing ligaments, high impact injuries and sources of "bad pain." I breathed through them, refocused my mind and used warm compresses but I knew they were good for me and baby so they weren't scary.

I don't know of this helps but I thought I'd share. :) hospitals like to psyche women up for PAIN!!! And so women are terrified there and they give in to fear because usually the staff don't believe they can withstand it. It's very unfair because our bodies were meant to do this!
 
#3 ·
@mamadance84

THIS. All of this. I have been wondering and feeling the same way. This is also my first and we are planning a home birth. If possible, I would say stash money away now for a class, because from what I've heard from other home birth mamas, they were invaluable in creating a network of support and sharing of ideas, etc.

That said, anything you learn in a class can likely be learned in a book, so if that just isn't in the cards, I would recommend "Birthing from within," which I am just about to start, and is supposed to be a wonderful resource for natural birth mamas.-

The wonderful thing about the Ina May books is that she includes story after story of real births, completely raw, unmedicated, home births, told by the mother herself and it's so empowering and comforting to read them one after another and remind yourself that MILLIONS of women over the course of history have done this, and we can too!! I haven't finished the guide, but it does offer suggestions and techniques as well as the stories and experiences. Ina is real crucnhy, so she suggests things like making out with your husband during contractions to ease the pain and other fun things that I just imagine I won't have the brain power to even do during labor! Haha.

I'm not claiming that home birth won't be difficult or the most intense or painful experience of my life, because I very much anticipate that it will be exactly that, assuming I am fortunate enough to stay low-risk throughout my pregnancy and labor/birth at home, but I DO think that this is very much about extreme mental preparation and the utmost trust in your body. Which is why reading as many stories as possible feels really proactive considering how little you can truly prepare, if that makes sense.

Today, my best friend is celebrating her 1 year birthing day (and of course my niece turns 1!!) She had a home birth and was in labor for over 42 hours. She had a host of issues including premature rupture of membranes, but her amazing midwife allowed her to continue birthing at home and with no signs of distress to the baby, guided her through what I have only heard as the most insane/intense days of her life. She didn't sugarcoat a thing, it was hard, REALLY hard, but not impossible and I think that's the key to success here. Just when you think you can't handle the pain and you can't do it anymore, you go a little longer, you breathe a little deeper, you make it through one more contraction.

Forgive me if you've already posted/chatted about this in another forum, but have you considered using a doula? That's another really great resource for a natural birth mama. Just having another person in your corner, reminding you of all your original plans, keeping you motivated, even massaging your back and shoulders, fetching you cold towels or hot compresses so that your husband can keep holding your hand, things like that. They range in price but they have been shown time and time again to contribute to wonderful birth outcomes and for us personally, we always knew we wanted to use one. (We also have no friends or family nearby, so this may be less desirable to someone who does). I do think it's hard for family to be objective and unbiased during labor though. It's a crazy process and I know if my mom or sister were around during the birth, they'd probably cause me more anxiety than calm and calm is really what you need to find. Many doulas have their own specialty as well, like aromatherapy or hypnobirthing experience/training, so that's an additional resource to have that you might not otherwise be able to tap alone.

Whew, that was a lot. Sorry for my ramble! I hope some of it was useful even though I'm also a first time mama. I can't wait to hear veterans chime in, I can use all the suggestions possible! :grin:
 
#4 ·
While we're sharing links lets add to our Resources thread! Maybe I can make this thread "sticky" so we can find all these links fast when we need 'em.
 
#5 ·
@typebug--there's a couple mantras that I've been thinking to myself as I gear up to start really preparing for birth that have been helpful. "my body was made to do this" is one and "enjoy the journey" is one that i've always loved and have on a bracelet that I wear everyday. It just seems to work for this too. They've been really helping. It's strange, but for my whole adult life I've been waiting for this moment. My DH has me on video saying "I can't wait to be pregnant because I just want to know what contractions feel like already!" HA! Boy, will I find out soon enough. I like the idea of calling them surges or waves. Maybe I can picture myself boogie boarding at the ocean or something. :wink

I keep having these thoughts like, you can't even handle morning sickness how will you handle birthing a baby without drugs? But they are two completely separate things right? My mind likes to lump everything together.

@TourmalineMama I think I will take a closer look into the hypnobirthing classes. I have to inquire on how much they cost but the place in NYC does 5, 2.5 hour sessions and the reviews are great. We will have a midwife who brings an assistant with her to the birth, a doula, my mother-in-law (if she wants to), and DH of course. That's more than enough people for me. Right now, I'm reading Hypnobirthing-The Morgan Method and Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. Both are fantastic. I love reading the real birth stories and have been for years. Of course, the ones on MDC are great too. It's part of what made me want to birth at home in the first place. I also love seeing birth photos. I would love a birth photographer but it may be an unnecessary way to spend money and DH isn't really into it.
 
#6 ·
For me personally, the idea that contractions are "waves" or "surges" and not pain is laughable. It was pain; overwhelming, unable to move, screaming pain. BUT, it's not something-is-wrong pain, like twisting your ankle or getting cut is. And even though it hurt that bad, I made it through ~24 hours of it before I got an epidural, and even then it was because at that point I hadn't slept in ~48 hours (I went into labor at midnight) and I needed to be able to lay down before I collapsed. I got a really light epidural (took maybe half the pain away) and had almost completely worn off about 9 hours later, ~3 hours into pushing (I pushed for 6 hours). After all that, i wasn't "ready" to give birth until the last hour of pushing. Then I was like, "okay, you can come out now" haha. I will say I screamed during every contraction the last 2-3 hours of pushing and it helped SO much :) I don't know if you CAN prepare for that kind of pain. My best advice is to realize that, more likely than not, it'll hurt like a bitch, but that the pain isn't a bad thing. You can handle it, and it's only temporary :)

And also, @mamadance84 , I think morning sickness is worse than giving birth, I hate feeling nauseous.
 
#7 ·
Whenever people have asked me what it feels like to be in labour, I've said it's not even pain. Don't consider pain, because your brain will try to compare it to something you've felt before and nothing will compare to what you feel during labour. It's more of an intenseness that sweeps over your body and overwhelms your brain, so it's impossible to think about anything else.

Time doesn't make any sense when you're in labour either, so when I tell people it was 10 hours, it sounds like a really long time, but in my memory it was maybe an hour - though I hear this is not how everyone experiences it. I tried listening to music but I was completely unable to focus on anything (my labour started when my water broke spontaneously, so it was one contraction on top of the other for the entire 10 hours), and all I remember hearing was a sound that wasn't talking every now and then that told me music was playing. Like, it didn't even sound like a song, just a half second noise. I won't be bothering with birth CDs or playlists this time.
 
#8 ·
I'm wrestling with which method to go with myself. We have several Bradley options, but everything else is either DIY or drive 90 minutes to classes. :p

I'm really looking hard at the online "Birth BootCamp" option currently, but if I can get a few people from prenatal yoga interested, I might be able to swing having one of the other practitioners come for a mini class more locally.
 
#9 ·
Hi! I remember feeling the same way before my first birth. I am now on my third(2nd natural at home, first was in the hospital with an epidural). Like you friend, my birth that I did recieve the epidural HURT. I was tense, scared, and inexperienced. My second birth, at home, also hurt, but the difference was I was laughing and talking in between contractions. I had my door locked, it was storming outside, my husband used counter pressure for every contraction, we had a rythym and I did-as my midwife said-the labor dance. It is true that when you don't have drugs to numb you, you feel the full intensity of the contractions. However, you really can trick your mind(at least until transition ;) ) into thinking it is not pain, it is dilation and moving the baby down and out/ it's birth. It is not pain like pulling your lip over your head like I have heard, it is more like power. I really enjoyed Ina Mays Guide to Child Birth. It is an awesome book to help you relax about birth.
 
#10 ·
If all goes well this will be my fourth homebirth. Each birth is different. I will say that for me getting the fear out of my head is the most important thing I can do for prep. I am also highly influenced by my environment during birth and I need encouragement and absolutely no negativity at all during. True "pain" did not set in until fear took over (for me).

So that said, this time around I am going to try hypnobabies (need to get on that as I am 30 weeks!). For me, it was truly very manageable until transition which is where the fear kicks in. I have never had a very long birthing experience. With my first I really had no idea what to expect. I did take the Bradley Method, and had wonderful midwives. The good thing about my first was I was completely able to get out of my head and allow my body to take over. I went to labor land and it was very intense but great. With my other two I was more aware of my surroundings and had more difficulty trusting myself, which is a huge part of it for me.

ETA: oops, I had no idea I was dd club crashing :) I just saw the topic on recently discussed.
 
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#11 ·
Also, notice I said the contractions hurt. I was not in pain for 36 hours, haha. Between the contractions I was completely fine, the pain just disappears. But my WHOLE labor, starting at the first contraction, I had contractions every 5-8 minutes, except pushing. Then it was just enough time to take a sip of water and then another contraction. I didn't have a lot of down time between them, so I had a much more intense experience than usual and I still made it way past how long most people's labors last. And like I said, it was sheer exhaustion that drove me to an epidural, not the pain. I don't think the pain was a bad thing, honestly. I was't scared at all, and to be honest, even though it was my first baby, I felt like I knew exactly what I was doing. The pain, for me, wasn't caused by fear or inexperience. It was caused by a muscle working that didn't usually work and exhaustion, same way when you push yourself in a workout you feel the burn. It's empowering, all I am woman, hear me roar... also watch me cry because my cervix is being battering rammed by my daughters head ;) I expect baby #2 to hurt the same, hell, even take just as long (actually no, my DD would have a meltdown), and that doesn't bother me :)
 
#13 ·
Definitely, I had a birth pool I laboured in and we used those bags of grain that you heat in the microwave to place across the small of my back. A nice long one is a great thing to have.
 
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#14 ·
I have to birth in a hospital- I have a neuromuscular disease (Myasthenia Gravis) and the OB wants me to likely have an epidural.
To counter that, and hopefully amaze him that I'm on top of the pain- I am going to learn Hypnobabies techniques.
Anyone done that? Heard about it?
A friend watched a friend deliver this way and was amazed...
YouTube birth stories.
 
#18 ·
Pardon my snooping in. I haven't posted in about six weeks :(

I've done one natural birth and one epidural birth. I think a lot has to do with the positioning of the baby, and reading as much as you can on what labor feels like. Ina May's books are very good. I also encourage everyone to look into spinning babies. I wish I had known about it when I was pregnant with my son.

My natural birth was 30 hours long and extremely painful because my son was sunny side up and hurting my back. I also was afraid of intervention (like breaking water) which might have sped up my labor. All in all, I ran out of gas and just had nothing left for the 3 hours of pushing at the end. I was so tired, I didn't even want to hold him after he was born.

I was so nervous going into my second pregnancy, that i automatically planned for an epidural. Funny thing is though, that i did spinning babies all the way along, and she was in the perfect position for birth. I was 8cm by the time I got to the hospital because honestly it didn't hurt and my body was just doing what it was supposed to. I felt all the sensations I was supposed to. The progression, the urge to push, the body pushing on its own. (feels kind of like your body is trying to throw up the baby but in reverse). I did get an epidural just in time for birth and had a lovely experience, but now wonder if I could have had just as lovely experience delivering naturally. I'll have to see how it goes this time.
This last time I let my body labor down until it was pushing by itself, and then only had to push twice to get the baby out. It was kinda magical and healing to feel all those sensations.
 
#19 ·
@alicenwonderlan welcome back! I love your descriptions of your body labouring. That "pushing by itself" feeling was what I was hoping for with my first but my contractions were really weak when I got the the pushing stage which was totally unhelpful! I'm really hoping my birth team can help me bring on those "get this baby out" contractions for this one.

Has anyone had any treatments during labour? My acupuncturist lives close by and is the apprentice to the lady who may be my second midwife at the birth. She said she'd be on call to come over if I need acupuncture. I think she treats back labour (which I've never had but it sounds awful) and slow progression and other things during birth. I'm intrigued. I also know of some massage therapists who make house calls for home birth here.
 
#21 ·
@typebug my acupuncturist focuses on acu-birth. Acupuncture for pain and other things I think- like slow progression...

I am undecided if I will go with her, or a doula... I have to have an OB, as I'm high risk...so no midwife.
 
#22 ·
@Muriel2016 I figure the higher the risk the more awesome the team you need around you to help you with potentially big decisions along the way.
 
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#23 ·
2 all-natural babies, one at the hospital, one at home. Planning home birth with #3 .

I would call labor intense, powerful, all-consuming, tedious, trying on your patience...... but not painful. Unless you let it get away from you.

Crowning stung a bit, but I loved it because it meant it was OVER!

I have read all the books-- Birthing from Within is my favorite!

Save the $$ on classes and get a doula, if $$ is tight. You can read what you learn in a class but nothing replaces a doula. If $$ is really tight look for a student doula, or some will do sliding scale.
 
#24 ·
Thanks for those comments- I think that I will save up for a doula. My body is already doing some funky weak muscle things- (I have myasthenia gravis) but hopefully it will calm down in 2nd & 3rd trimester- that's what the research says... But the worst time is labour & post-delivery... makes sense all the physical and emotional stressors and hormonal shifts. But yes, all the more reason to beef up my team!:thumb
 
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#25 ·
I am a high risk mama and need an early epidural for medical reasons. Nevertheless, I've actually had two very nice vaginal births (at hospitals in different states) where I felt really well supported by the medical staff. I also had midwives helping with care both times although my primary provider was a perinatologist. It's not the home birth experience I would choose if I didn't have medical conditions, but I have to say that both my births have been really positive experiences. There is hope for a good birth even in the hospital and with some interventions.
 
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