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Prepping the siblings?

1K views 16 replies 6 participants last post by  typebug 
#1 ·
To those mamas that have already welcomed a second child or are about to do so, how are you/did you prep the big brother or sister?

DD is nearly 4. My MIL lives close and it's assumed by all that DD will be at her house for most of the labor. I've begun to realize that an overnight stay may be necessary and we've never done that before. Also, in the last few weeks DD has been a little more clingy to me and having separation anxiety when I take her to grandmas. I feel like DD needs to know she will go to grandmas and maybe even spend the night in advance. How can I get her more comfortable with this?
 
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#2 ·
Can she do a test run sleepover? Maybe if grandma has a fun evening planned with some treats she likes she'll associate a sleepover situation with a happy time once she's over your initial departure.
 
#3 ·
Yes was just telling my DH we need to get a sleeping bag and really hype up the slumber party idea and get DD to stay over a couple of times in the next few weeks. What would you do if the kiddo does freak out and want to come home?
 
#4 ·
I tend to be pretty gentle on things like this so as not to make it negative - but maybe let Grandma try to distract her first before pulling the plug?
 
#5 ·
Could grandma come to you? When I had my second, my partner and I also had never left #1 (age 3 3/4) without at least one of us overnight. But he did just fine with grandma--I think it really helped that he had his own bath/bed/routine at home when there were so many other changes afoot.
 
#6 ·
We have been prepping our toddler for both the birth itself and the presence of a new person in the house. We've explained to him what it will be like when I'm in labor, and he comes to some prenatal visits, and I'm really surprised by how much he takes in. The other day he pretended to measure my belly, listen to the heartbeat, and then he brought a dish towel, put it on my lap, and said "This is for the blood, and then you'll nurse the baby." We were taking a walk today and he said "I'm going to be working hard when I'm pushing my baby out" - then he made grunting noises! He has a doll that he loves to nurse, and I have sat with him to "practice" nursing, to show him that I'll be occupied...

All that said, I have no idea how he'll react when I'm actually in labor, so we have a friend who has agreed to take care of him either here or to take him back to her house. So if he wants to see the birth, and I'm ok with it, he can. As for afterward, we have tried to make sure we have people coming to help, and we even have some local playgroups that other parents could take him to so he can get out of the house.
 
#7 ·
Our plan for what to do with my toddler is constantly evolving. I've got an overnight bag for him packed and depending on the time of day I find I'm in active labour we'll have a different plan. If it's late and he's asleep, we'll transfer him to the downstairs suite where my father-in-law is staying and hope he just sleeps through everything He's generally a heavy sleeper and transfers well. If it's day time or early evening they'll head over to our friend's place where my little guy will be distracted by their three kids and grandpa will have some familiar folks to wait out the labour with. They have offered to put both of them up for the night. If it's past my due date and grandpa has gone back home then our friends are going to come and pick him up and take him back to their place... unless he's fast asleep and then I'm tempted to transfer him to the downstairs suite and stick the baby monitor down there and just see what happens... :)
 
#8 ·
I'm also feeling like this needs to be super flexible. I keep feeling like I'll want her around as long as possible. As far as an overnight with grandma, we'll certainly try it, but DD still wakes up every night to come to our bed so I can't imagine that will be pleasant for either DD or grandma at grandma's house...
 
#9 ·
My 5yr old daughter is prepped. She keeps tucking dolls or stuffies under her shirt and plays hospital. I keep telling her she doesn't need a dr to take baby out and that it happens naturally but I think she doesn't get that part yet. She will one day. It's fun to watch my kids though and see the world through their eyes. If I do my home birth my DH will care for the kids but I think it will all take place during the night when they will be sleeping.
 
#10 ·
Just a video link to what I've used to show my toddler how babies are born.
 
#11 ·
I better get more serious in actually prepping DD. I know now I won't send her away right away, if at all at this point, and she gets so concerned if I make a peep of discomfort now. What are we telling the littles about the noises we make, and about it looking like we're in pain?
 
#12 ·
@typebug @element2012 @beep @coriolus @firmfoot--sorry if I forgot anyone...

I don't have any experience prepping a sibling as this is my first child, however, I wanted to share this home birth video for those of you planning for one. Sorry, I can't remember who's planning to birth at home, birthing center, hospital. Anywho, it's my favorite so far and I just love the way her husband AND older child get in the pool with her, supporting her--rubbing her back and messaging and so on. It's so beautiful and I definitely cried--so tissue warning...

 
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#14 ·
This required a lot of kleenex for me too. Wow what a great video. Thank you for sharing.
 
#17 · (Edited)
I logged into facebook and just put this link in and it worked:

PS I love this. Also, the list thingy for keeping track of the labour I think the dad might have been writing in was inspiring.

I was inspired to make a journal page to prompt my husband to keep track of important things during the labour and birth. It's here: https://www.dropbox.com/s/ycu0z1nbg8ryys1/birthjournal.pdf?dl=0
 
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