What's up with everyone with your libido? I find this answer so interesting because it's so different for everyone and every pregnancy. My first pregnancy my libido died a pretty serious death half way in and didn't rebound until a month after my son was born. I was so jealous of women who had increased interest in sex! My marriage took a beating. This time I'm finding that I'm still happily interested once a week which has been so nice for staying connected with my husband. How is everyone else navigating increased or decreased desire in your relationship?
This pregnancy has been opposite of my first. With DD i was in the mood starting about midway through the second trimester until close to the end. This one I was in the mood until about 20 weeks and now it's dwindling.
Mine really increased after the morning sickness etc was over. That was pretty nice for a while. It does seem to be dwindling now (23 weeks), unfortunately.
I'm sorry, I'm not part of January club (I'm in march!) but I thought this topic was super interesting and had to throw my two cents in there, hahaha.
Before pregnancy I had a very high libido (3 - 4 times a week, sometimes multiple times a day). Obviously, this was fine with my SO but now I'm at 15 weeks and the day-long nausea is just starting to dwindle down and I'm still tired (like, obnoxiously so) ALL day. I feel bad for my SO because I don't want him to think that I'm not interested in him or that I'm not attracted to him or something but I just physically feel gross and can't fully commit to a mood! This is my first pregnancy so I'm hoping I'll maybe turn around soon and get back to my old self?
Is there anything I can do to help my libido along or is this just something we get to deal with??
I had zero libido during my first pregnancy, despite a pretty healthy sex life before getting pregnant, and honestly, it never really rebounded after our daughter was born. I think part of it was we were trying to get pregnant again for so long that it just killed anything romantic or special about it. The first trimester was a big fat NO because I was feeling so sick. Now my libido is definitely back, but our schedules are crap and our daughter stays up too late, so that by the time we could, we're both beat. One of us usually falls asleep at the same time as our daughter. Meanwhile, I dream about it....I miss lunch sex. I think that is the problem, we both like the afternoon delight...our first daughter was conceived on our lunch break when we were still working together.
StepGirlfriend- My first pregnancy, like I wrote before, I really had absolutely no interest in sex. We tried lots of things to help but nothing worked. It was actually really scary in some ways. I had always had a healthy sex drive that matched well with my husband so I really felt like a piece of me was missing! But nothing we tried worked to bring it back. We even tried a trip to the sex store to get a few toys to try to spice things up but then we never even used them. :smile:The real problem was my hormones not working in our favor. Many people do find that that their drive comes back after they're done feeling sick, but that was not my experience. I was afraid that I would never want sex again, but thankfully just a month after birth my libido was back! I think that's on the early side from what I hear from most women. A lot of women don't find it returning until after they're started to breastfeed less, but everyone is so different! I breastfed for 1 1/2 years and had no problem.
Veritas Vitae- I totally hear you about sex taking a nose dive when you have a small child in the house. My sex drive did come back after birth but it's not at the same level it use to be. Once a week is totally good for me now but before baby a couple times or three times a week would have been better. Luckily, we are both so tired from taking care of our little one that our drives once again match up. But scheduling sex is something I never thought I would do and it's the only way we can make things work for us. I've always been better in the afternoon too and now we've had to switch to weekend mornings. Night is not even a possibility! Cartoons have saved us. We have a two cartoon span where our guy will focus until he gets bored and wants to find us and that's our only real window. Before when we would try during nap time he seemed to sense that something was happening he would more often than not wake up to interrupt us. Besides, with being pregnant I'm not willing to give up my nap time right now either!
I have had a pretty high libido all along, also during and after my first pregnancy. My struggle is getting hubby to go more than a couple of times a week. A couple of weeks ago I was waking up in the middle of the night with crazy sex dreams, ready to ravage him! Luckily, that died down, but I'm still very very interested in sex most of the time.
Mine came back a few weeks into the second trimester -- was not interested at all during the first trimester -- but the issue with us is we both work full time (long hours for husband) and now that we're taking care of a toddler we both have a hard time finding the privacy and the energy to do it! Definitely one of those stereotypes of parents of young children you don't think you'll ever fall victim to and then lo and behold you find yourself too tired to do anything but crash into bed at 10pm. FWIW, it took awhile for my libido to come back post-baby, too. I think it was mostly hormonal. I didn't start to feel normal again until about a year after she was born (I was still BFing at that point) and then we got prego again almost immediately. And I definitely had that feeling a lot of young moms do of tactile sensory overload. Too much touching!
Yes, it took me about a year after DD was born to really get back in the groove. That was perhaps not coincidentally also when she weaned. And yes to touch overload. All I wanted at the end of every day was so fall into bed with no one touching me and no one making noise.
My problem is H does not come to bed with me, so by the time he crawls under the covers I've been asleep for at least an hour. He either has to wake me up or hope I will on my own, and often it doesn't happen. Lately he's been trying to get to bed earlier, and we're both big fans of Shower Saturday and Sunday Nap, which all but guarantees something happens at least once a week.
My libido has been about the same, I definitely need to spend more time in the bathroom to feel fresh though. The worst thing is that the bigger I get the less coordinated I am, so the more work H has to do, and I feel bad about that. Nothing like a tired beached whale to get a guy going.... hooray for coconut oil and hands, lol.
Nothing like a tired beached whale to get a guy going.... Hilarious! And all too true. That's how I feel these days. Thankfully my hubby really doesn't seem to care. I think he's just so happy to be having sex at all that the huge belly is a very minor inconvenience in his mind. If his gut was suddenly double its usual size I'm not sure I would be able to get past it so easily.
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