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#1 of 32 Old 01-01-2009, 12:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I got so sad and broke down crying last night, thinking of not having a baby in 2008. I'm running out of time for a 2009 baby as well. And it just plain pi$$es me off, makes me just HATE my body, HATE hearing about babies, and who's pregnant now. Dammit, I want MY baby : !!

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#2 of 32 Old 01-01-2009, 12:05 PM
 
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I'm sorry you're feeling so blue.

I hope that 2008 is your year!

Ali - Wife to Steve and mom to Zoe - age 7, and Ezra - 17 months (9/2009)
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#3 of 32 Old 01-01-2009, 12:55 PM
 
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I'm so, so sorry. I'm trying not to let my mind/heart go there, but I'm always teetering on the edge. TTC sucks, sucks sucks. I often wish I could be one of those people who genuinely seem to wait patiently and not "try" every month, and they don't get emotionally wrapped up in it. But I'm not.

I hope you're finding some peace or feel better since venting
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#4 of 32 Old 01-01-2009, 03:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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back to you guys too! Thank you, I am feeling a little better since venting. It's still so hard .

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#5 of 32 Old 01-01-2009, 04:55 PM
 
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I'm right there with you! I have become an emotional wreck myself recently because of so many pregnancy announcements ALL AROUND me...on facebook, co-workers, neighbors, friends, etc. :

Momma to DD (12/04) hearts.gif and DS (11/09) hbac.gif.
I survived 16 mos! Ask me about breastfeeding a baby with posterior tongue tie, high palate, and weak oral motor skills- whew!

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#6 of 32 Old 01-02-2009, 03:34 PM
 
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Just wanted to say... we hear you and totally understand!

My XH and his wife are expecting their first together in April. Ouch. It just feels icky to think about too much. I'm trying not to get my hopes up that I could be PG by April - since if I'm not... and I have to see them with the new baby while still TTC... that will hurt even more.

Mostly trying to stay excited for DD - she's thrilled about the new baby (half) brother, and its nice to see that she may be that excited for one on this side of the family someday too.

Hugs to all of you! Let's hope to ALL be PG in 2009, with a secondary "wish" that we have "babies" in 2009!

Lis ~ Married to my favorite boy partners.gif and raising "our" three ~
DS 14 (hisjammin.gif ~ DD 9 (mineloveeyes.gif ~ toddlerDS 2! (ours) bouncy.gif

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#7 of 32 Old 01-02-2009, 03:45 PM
 
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I'm so sorry. I understand some of your frustrations. I can be bitter and jealous of other pregnant ladies and moms with babies. :sigh:

I hope we all get pregnant this year.

Aeona - married to super hot nerd Toby . . . mama to Grace (9) Evangeline (7) Duncan 11.14.08   and Henry (4) born at home. Expecting again early December!  

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#8 of 32 Old 01-02-2009, 05:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by ShwarmaQueen View Post
I'm right there with you! I have become an emotional wreck myself recently because of so many pregnancy announcements ALL AROUND me...on facebook, co-workers, neighbors, friends, etc. :
Same here, and it sucks!

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Originally Posted by lisko15 View Post
Just wanted to say... we hear you and totally understand!

My XH and his wife are expecting their first together in April. Ouch. It just feels icky to think about too much. I'm trying not to get my hopes up that I could be PG by April - since if I'm not... and I have to see them with the new baby while still TTC... that will hurt even more.

Mostly trying to stay excited for DD - she's thrilled about the new baby (half) brother, and its nice to see that she may be that excited for one on this side of the family someday too.

Hugs to all of you! Let's hope to ALL be PG in 2009, with a secondary "wish" that we have "babies" in 2009!
Ouch, yeah, that would hurt.

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I'm so sorry. I understand some of your frustrations. I can be bitter and jealous of other pregnant ladies and moms with babies. :sigh:

I hope we all get pregnant this year.
to you too! We can do it! We'll get pregnant this year : !

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#9 of 32 Old 01-02-2009, 08:42 PM
 
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I was just about to start a vent myself - hope you don't mind me chiming in on this one. My two kids were both conceived in December, so I had high hopes, but AF came Xmas day! With a whopping 8 day LP, on Vitex.
I'm 38 and feel like time is running out, and starting to feel pathetic with the futile charting and opk's and bd timing. And even if I were to get pregnant, it'll be weeks or months before I'll know if it's not another m/c
I'm starting to think I should just be grateful and stop torturing myself about wanting another one..

mama to my August boys ('03 & '06) trying to figure out what to do after 5 losses
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#10 of 32 Old 01-02-2009, 09:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was just about to start a vent myself - hope you don't mind me chiming in on this one. My two kids were both conceived in December, so I had high hopes, but AF came Xmas day! With a whopping 8 day LP, on Vitex.
I'm 38 and feel like time is running out, and starting to feel pathetic with the futile charting and opk's and bd timing. And even if I were to get pregnant, it'll be weeks or months before I'll know if it's not another m/c
I'm starting to think I should just be grateful and stop torturing myself about wanting another one..
I am so sorry about your losses. I've never experienced one, so I won't say something stupid (I hope!). I sometimes feel selfish about wanting another (or 2 or 3) after having 6 healthy kids. I just do not feel like I'm done yet, and feel like it is in my nature to have a lot of kids. Now only if my body would cooperate .

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#11 of 32 Old 01-02-2009, 09:04 PM
 
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TTC sucks big time!!!


DH and I have been trying for 10 months now, 2 babies are in our plans, it sucks. When we started to try it seems that everybody around me was getting pregnant. My sister in law just had a baby a year ago and is now ready for her 6th child due March I mean I'm happy for her but

But 2009 will be our year, you'll see::

Alee, mamma to Leon (2) and expecting #2 May '10 :
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#12 of 32 Old 01-03-2009, 07:38 PM
 
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2009 is all of our baby years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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#13 of 32 Old 01-03-2009, 07:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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2009 is all of our baby years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
: You bet it IS!!! I'm going to think something positive everyday, just to help keep my spirits up. I tend to be very pessimistic .

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#14 of 32 Old 01-04-2009, 04:21 PM
 
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Hey Mollie, don't worry, I don't think you're selfish. Although I feel very lucky (for lack of a better word) to have 2 kids, I think anyone's desire to have (more) kids is valid and to be respected.
So, 2009 it is then, fingers crossed for all of us!

mama to my August boys ('03 & '06) trying to figure out what to do after 5 losses
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#15 of 32 Old 01-04-2009, 04:54 PM
 
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I think anyone's desire to have (more) kids is valid and to be respected.
I totally agree.

Momma to DD (12/04) hearts.gif and DS (11/09) hbac.gif.
I survived 16 mos! Ask me about breastfeeding a baby with posterior tongue tie, high palate, and weak oral motor skills- whew!

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#16 of 32 Old 01-04-2009, 05:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey Mollie, don't worry, I don't think you're selfish. Although I feel very lucky (for lack of a better word) to have 2 kids, I think anyone's desire to have (more) kids is valid and to be respected.
So, 2009 it is then, fingers crossed for all of us!
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I totally agree.
: Thank you. I tend to be cautious about posting over here, as it seems most are TTC#1 or #2, not #7 or more.

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#17 of 32 Old 01-04-2009, 05:08 PM
 
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I tend to be cautious about posting over here, as it seems most are TTC#1 or #2, not #7 or more.
It is what it is. I think you're safe as long as you don't post in the infertility forum. That would be kinda inappropriate.

Momma to DD (12/04) hearts.gif and DS (11/09) hbac.gif.
I survived 16 mos! Ask me about breastfeeding a baby with posterior tongue tie, high palate, and weak oral motor skills- whew!

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#18 of 32 Old 01-04-2009, 06:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It is what it is. I think you're safe as long as you don't post in the infertility forum. That would be kinda inappropriate.
That's what I thought too, and I wouldn't do that.

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#19 of 32 Old 01-04-2009, 06:26 PM
 
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I wouldn't do that.
I didn't think so.

Momma to DD (12/04) hearts.gif and DS (11/09) hbac.gif.
I survived 16 mos! Ask me about breastfeeding a baby with posterior tongue tie, high palate, and weak oral motor skills- whew!

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#20 of 32 Old 01-04-2009, 06:44 PM
 
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It is what it is. I think you're safe as long as you don't post in the infertility forum. That would be kinda inappropriate.
Maybe it's inappropriate for me to say so, but this made me lol.

Not to diminish your frustration with waiting so long to get pg again. IME, secondary infertility (throwing that term around really loosely) is only a little bit easier to handle than TTC #1. When you want a baby, you want a baby.

And if the universe is listening, WE ALL WANT BABIES, and now would be good. Ahem.
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#21 of 32 Old 01-04-2009, 07:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ugh, my mom just called & told me that my SIL's (my brother's wife) brother had their baby yesterday, a BOY of course. I've never met these people before, and I don't WHY she would tell me that, unless she's trying to make me upset. Wouldn't surprise me though .

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#22 of 32 Old 01-04-2009, 07:13 PM
 
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I've never met these people before, and I don't WHY she would tell me that, unless she's trying to make me upset. Wouldn't surprise me though .
Would she do that? Ugh...I know how you feel though, my close friend and sister had their baby in december, plus about 10 other people who had "oops" babies...:

Momma to DD (12/04) hearts.gif and DS (11/09) hbac.gif.
I survived 16 mos! Ask me about breastfeeding a baby with posterior tongue tie, high palate, and weak oral motor skills- whew!

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#23 of 32 Old 01-04-2009, 07:15 PM
 
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My Mom tries this every single phone conversation, too.
I think it's too much - I can't even follow who had a baby, with what procedure and who is pregnant amymore.

My new strategy (I wish I started it a while ago) is to plug my ears and sing "lalalaa lllalaaaala lalaaa" until she stops. She tries again - I sing again.
It takes her 3-4 tries per phone call but she stops eventually.

I sing when she asks :"Any news?" also!
She is saying that she reeeaaallllyyy wants a grandchild, as if that's the order the wishes need to be fullfilled in....

:
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#24 of 32 Old 01-04-2009, 07:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Would she do that? Ugh...I know how you feel though, my close friend and sister had their baby in december, plus about 10 other people who had "oops" babies...:
She might....she knows I want another one, and that I've been seeing different doctors about getting my cycles back where they should be. This was after I asked her to watch the kids Tuesday morning so I can get a cosyntropin stimulation test to check my cortisol levels in regard to adrenal fatigue.

She can be very heartless sometimes!

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#25 of 32 Old 01-04-2009, 07:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My Mom tries this every single phone conversation, too.
I think it's too much - I can't even follow who had a baby, with what procedure and who is pregnant amymore.

My new strategy (I wish I started it a while ago) is to plug my ears and sing "lalalaa lllalaaaala lalaaa" until she stops. She tries again - I sing again.
It takes her 3-4 tries per phone call but she stops eventually.

I sing when she asks :"Any news?" also!
She is saying that she reeeaaallllyyy wants a grandchild, as if that's the order the wishes need to be fullfilled in....
Oh, I might have to do that next time!

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#26 of 32 Old 01-04-2009, 11:26 PM
 
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My Mom tries this every single phone conversation, too.
I think it's too much - I can't even follow who had a baby, with what procedure and who is pregnant amymore.

My new strategy (I wish I started it a while ago) is to plug my ears and sing "lalalaa lllalaaaala lalaaa" until she stops. She tries again - I sing again.
It takes her 3-4 tries per phone call but she stops eventually.

I sing when she asks :"Any news?" also!
She is saying that she reeeaaallllyyy wants a grandchild, as if that's the order the wishes need to be fullfilled in....
love, love, love it! : for the longest time my mother told me not to get married and have kids and that i'm too young (even though she was 17 when she married and had 2 kids at my age). then all of her friends started to become grandmothers and she caught the bug. like it's some sort of fad or something. i think it was hard when her younger friends started to talk about their grandkids and my mother had nothing to add to the conversation. she has even started buying baby & toddler clothes when she sees them on sale. on more then one occasion i have tried to talk to her about how hard it is for me. i'll definitely have to try the singing :. she'll prob think i've lost it.

Angel (30), dh (31) (kd to H. 4/25/07 & K. 5/23/11), Vladimir 10/17/09 & Nikolai 7/6/11

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#27 of 32 Old 01-05-2009, 03:28 AM
 
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Feel free to try it out, over the phone or in person - and be prepared for possible reactions:

1) silence (as in - she tries to ask or tell something again when I stop singing, as if I have limited singing capabilities)

2) acting offended - yes,didn't you know that you offend you own mother by not listenning to her, and she only wants the best for you

3) ignoring - this gives her time to think about a next move

At the end of singing, I just reassure her that she'll be the first to know (after my DH), and that calms her down.

And also - I laugh a lot (even is sometimes I do not feel like laughing), that usually makes her break her serious mood!


This is also recommended to pregnant women - for some reason, most horror stories are delivered by moms (and close friends) of pregnant women.
They should really be blocked, even though we can think about it rationally,
those stores creep into our subconscious and they bother us!


:

:
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#28 of 32 Old 01-05-2009, 01:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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KikaKika - that's hilarious!! I try to avoid talking to my mom as much as possible. She's the one who initiates conversation, not me, by calling. We have Caller ID, and I will ignore her sometimes.

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#29 of 32 Old 01-06-2009, 01:03 AM
 
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Originally Posted by astar326 View Post
on more then one occasion i have tried to talk to her about how hard it is for me. i'll definitely have to try the singing :. she'll prob think i've lost it.
Anything is better than prologned torture of "those" conversations!
Being a grandma definitely is "in fashion" currently ( at least for our moms), and I've seen this in couple of families: torture does not end with the birth of the grandchild.... it continues in form of advice, examples of what "so-and-so" did with her kid, and comparisons....



find your strategy now, before it's too late

:
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#30 of 32 Old 01-06-2009, 01:06 AM
 
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Originally Posted by wild~blossom View Post
KikaKika - that's hilarious!! I try to avoid talking to my mom as much as possible. She's the one who initiates conversation, not me, by calling. We have Caller ID, and I will ignore her sometimes.
I know, I do that too. Last month was tough, I really believed I was pregnant,
and after AF arrived, I just needed to calm down, and look forward to the new cycle, without looking back. I couldn't talk to her for over a week.

Sad, but true. (and Metallica takes over from here.... )

:
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