40+ TTC On our way to the month of Love! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 464 Old 01-19-2009, 12:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Here is a link to our previous thread http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=996694

Welcome to the 40+ TTC Thread!
Babies Born :::
Hockeylover/Juls (44) Twin Girls born 12/08 (juls is 44)
kbhlmh/Karen (47) Kevin (boy) born 12/05 when I was 44y2m. FYI - natural conception!
Juneau (44): Baby Girl Eliza Jane born 1/12/09
WV Mommy/Erika (41): Josiah Born 2/5/09


BFP's:

DoulaMomVicki: EDD 1/09

s*******/Shelley: EDD 5/24/09
Veganmama719 (41): EDD 7/25/09
KaydasMom (41)
saoirse2007 (39) http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/113c41
ElliesMomma(40) EDD 09/17/09
BHappy/Karen (41)


HOPEFULS:

ACsMom/Jen (39.5)
BelovedK (42)
berinjela (40)
bilbi (40)
can't wait/Felicia (41.5)
Denny(43)
Finding Serenity
Folaboye -- waiting to be ready
Girlo/Shannon
Gerlassie(41)
Grace24
halifax40(41) http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/20a8a0
Jezzy/Sharun
Joyluc (45)
kbhlmh (47) http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/8fcb8
kel32brown(42)
Kristin0105 (43) http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1dfb40
lauri0115(43)
lovbeingamommy/Kate (44)
MassaginMommy/Laurie (45) http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/8fe89
Miracle and Wonder/Candida (45)
Msgoodbuns (44) - single, dating, acting and ttc'ing!
my other age is 34 (45)
nicksmom03 (43) http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1734a6
Ompath (39.5) http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/237d98
Pookietooth/Jen (43) http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/18f765
Rainpainter (41)
reikibirth/Toni (45)
salt phoenix (41)
Sapphos/Laura (41)
SecretBeach (40)
Shellbell62/Shelli (46) http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/16f6a4
Stealthee
Sunrise/Sara (42) http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1bfae8
Susan aka Speedknitter(45)
TheSnowQueen/Susan (46)
WaturMama (41)

If I've missed anyone or you are new and want to be added to the list, please post your request in the thread in BOLD

Laurie (46) Wife to : Mom to 4 Grandma to :
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#2 of 464 Old 01-19-2009, 01:08 AM
 
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joining this thread again- good luck to everyone TTC! i am cheering for you all! this is an exciting week and time ahead... may the baby boom continue!

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#3 of 464 Old 01-19-2009, 02:39 AM
 
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Hello, I'm here!

Massaginmommy, I loved your story about the acupunturist. I am always so grateful when I find a health care practioner that I have great communication with and knows his/her stuff. AND, thank you for managing this dear thread.

I'm now 7pdo, on an emotional roller coaster, had some cramps. Since we started TTC conceive again I seem to get be getting a wild ride of pg symptoms after each O. Now I know not to get my hopes up so high like I did the last 2 times, which I think is probably good for me right now. But I still hope.

May this be all of our lucky thread!

treehugger.gifMama to DS (3/05 )carrot.gifh20homebirth.gif, wife to DH bikenew.gif, remembering rainbow1284.gifdog2.gifdog2.gif and angel1.gif Spirit 1/07, angel1.gif Hope 5/09, angel1.gif Harmony 6/10, angel1.gif Love 5/11, angel1.gif Joy 6/11
 

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#4 of 464 Old 01-19-2009, 09:17 AM
 
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:Congratulations Juneau! Welcome Eliza Jane!:

DS 31/01/10, TTC #2
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#5 of 464 Old 01-19-2009, 09:23 AM
 
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I'm am very sorry to bring down the thread, but I have very sad news. This morning, at 10w 3d, I miscarried. It looked like the fetus stopped developing a couple weeks ago. Physically, it was no big deal and I feel fine. Emotionally I am mostly numb with bouts of complete despair. DH and I are trying to look positively to the future, but it took us 2 IVF's and 14 months to conceive this one. I am so afraid that motherhood is not in my destiny.

DS 31/01/10, TTC #2
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#6 of 464 Old 01-19-2009, 10:21 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stealthee View Post
I'm am very sorry to bring down the thread, but I have very sad news. This morning, at 10w 3d, I miscarried. It looked like the fetus stopped developing a couple weeks ago. Physically, it was no big deal and I feel fine. Emotionally I am mostly numb with bouts of complete despair. DH and I are trying to look positively to the future, but it took us 2 IVF's and 14 months to conceive this one. I am so afraid that motherhood is not in my destiny.
I am so sorry Don't give up, you did get pregnant, you can again

                                Whatever will be, already is...
 
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#7 of 464 Old 01-19-2009, 10:31 AM
 
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Oh, Stealthee. I'm so very sorry. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Homeschooling mom to 2 boys (4/01) and (1/05)
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#8 of 464 Old 01-19-2009, 11:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Stealthee I am so sorry Please take care of yourself. We are here for you.

Laurie (46) Wife to : Mom to 4 Grandma to :
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#9 of 464 Old 01-19-2009, 11:17 AM
 
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Stealthee, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I felt exactly like you after my loss but since then have read about so many women losing babies then going on to have a beautiful healthy child. Please don't give up!
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#10 of 464 Old 01-19-2009, 11:33 AM
 
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Stealthee, I am so very sorry for your loss. My 2nd loss (the one in August) was very similar. I induced a m/c at 10w1d after discovering via u/s that the baby had stopped developing a few weeks earlier. It was very hard.
9 weeks later, I was PG again with this baby.

I assumed that the problem was egg quality and not structural, mostly because of my age. I started back up with the DHEA and also started drinking fresh wheatgrass shots most days. I did slack off a bit with the acupunture but I probably went 4 times during that 9 week period.

Maybe you don't want to think about trying again right now, and that is totally understandable. I just wanted you to know that there are many women who have 2 losses and go on to have perfect babies. Juneau had 3 losses and is now holding Eliza Jane in her arms. Go look at the Pregnant After Loss thread, there are lots there too.

My heart goes out to you and DH. I am glad the physical ordeal is not that bad.

You are in my heart and my thoughts. Much peace, love and strength to you.

Me (42), DH (41), DD (7), DS1 (5) and DS2 Aug 02/09
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#11 of 464 Old 01-19-2009, 11:40 AM
 
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Oh, Stealthee, I am so sorry for your loss. If and when you're ready, we'll all support you on your continued journey to motherhood (and if you decide you're done ttc'ing, we'll support you in that decision, too). Just remember, this is one of those journeys in life that is not a straight and narrow path. There are many roads to motherhood, and each of us has to take one step at a time toward that end. This is clearly a setback for you, but as VM said, so many women have suffered losses only to hold their dear little one later on. Many hugs to you. Take good care of yourself, and let yourself feel whatever emotions come to you. Blessings.

LegalShield Sales Representative.  (Affordable access to quality law firms throughout the US and Canada...low monthly fee!  Ask me about it!)  Mom to Justice :in doggie heaven (13 yr old Dalmatian), Single, age 47.  TTC'd for years.  Now lurking and rooting on my fellow women friends!

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#12 of 464 Old 01-19-2009, 12:17 PM
 
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Stealthtree. I am so sorry for your loss. Devastating.

Sara - Mum to C (10/02) ; m/c 10/07; 7/08; 3/09; Lucy Olive Feb 28, 2010 !
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#13 of 464 Old 01-19-2009, 12:42 PM
 
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Stealthee Much light to you. I hope you find your strength in something, I know this is very hard.


Quote:
Originally Posted by WaturMama View Post
Hello, I'm here!

Massaginmommy, I loved your story about the acupunturist. I am always so grateful when I find a health care practioner that I have great communication with and knows his/her stuff. AND, thank you for managing this dear thread.

I'm now 7pdo, on an emotional roller coaster, had some cramps. Since we started TTC conceive again I seem to get be getting a wild ride of pg symptoms after each O. Now I know not to get my hopes up so high like I did the last 2 times, which I think is probably good for me right now. But I still hope.

May this be all of our lucky thread!

I agree with all! THANK YOU massaginmommy! I love your story as well. Perhaps we will choose acupuncture. Last April I went to an acupuncturist in San Francisco because I had been hospitalized from illness due to Anemia (I am terribly iron-deficient). Last winter was a hard winter. It would be good to see what they can do PG-wise.

AFM 10dpo. We are feeling like if we don't get the egg, that it's the male factor. We'll know if I'm PG in the next few days. (chart stalkers?)
I've been constipated nearly 2 weeks. I did have some movement, but it's so not frequent, and I am the right-after-coffee gal.

One of the hardest parts for me is that period of time where you know you have your period and day 5. That is the time to make sure you have this and that in stock for the next month, and the best deals are online, and should I order it before I find out if I'm pregnant...I don't even have a doctor lined up for fertility. It's overwhelming to me. We just bought a house in the Sacramento (CA) area, but we live in Napa. We are going through a remodel, so I am having to drive in several times per week, and it would be long-term better to get the doc in Sac, but just so not convenient.
I feel as if I am not up to this sometimes. We'll work towards this baby goal until June.
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#14 of 464 Old 01-19-2009, 12:51 PM
 
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stealthee, i am so sorry for your news.

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#15 of 464 Old 01-19-2009, 12:51 PM
 
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Stealthee I so sorry We are all here for you.

Married to the love of my life, mom to DS :
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#16 of 464 Old 01-19-2009, 01:26 PM
 
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Stealthee




With love,

~Karenchicken3.gifso happy to be mothering my four... DS ('94), DS ('94), DD ('00), and DS -- June 8, 2011, our UC baby!

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#17 of 464 Old 01-19-2009, 02:03 PM
 
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Stealthee, I am so sorry for your loss. No words can express how sad I am for you. I know you went through a lot to get that pregnancy, and I am sorry that you lost it. to you.

Congratulations, Juneau! Welcome to the world, baby girl Eliza Jane!::

Oh, and they do now freeze eggs for women who are young and wanting to save them for later. Not sure what the sucess rate is, but I would be that it would be higher with frozen 34 year old eggs than fresh 43 year old eggs. I wish they'd had it when I was 34, although I may not have done it then.

AFM, having heavy spotting from discontinuing the bcps, today! start Lupron, then a couple of days later for the FSH meds.

Jen 47 DS C 2/03  angel.gif04/29/08/ DD S 10/28/09 DH Bill '97.

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#18 of 464 Old 01-19-2009, 03:11 PM
 
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Stealthee - I am so very sorry for your loss!

Karen 48 DH 53, DD 22, DS1 20, DS2 4, DSS 24, DSD 21
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#19 of 464 Old 01-19-2009, 03:52 PM
 
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Stealthee... I'm so sorry.
Words are never adequate in this situation. I hope you can find comfort in the fact that many of us have experienced this kind of loss, so we can understand.
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#20 of 464 Old 01-19-2009, 08:31 PM
 
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Stealthee - I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. I know there are no words that I can say to help ease the pain you must be going through, but I wanted to add my support. Be kind to yourself during this hard time.

Me-46 DH-45 DS born June 2012 TTC#2  July 2008 angel3.gif19 weeks, April 2010 angel1.gif @11 weeks, Sept 2010 angel1.gif @ 7 weeks. Feb 2011 angel1.gifangel1.gif twins @11 weeks. bfinfant.gifcd.gif

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#21 of 464 Old 01-20-2009, 12:52 AM
 
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lovbeingamommy, I think the cutoff for freezing your eggs is 35, because a friend who is turning 35 this year just got a mailing about it. Or maybe it's 36 or 37 -- before 40 though. Darned dusty eggs,

Jen 47 DS C 2/03  angel.gif04/29/08/ DD S 10/28/09 DH Bill '97.

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#22 of 464 Old 01-20-2009, 02:26 AM
 
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Oh Stealthee, I am so very sorry for your loss.

Yes, we are absolutely here for you, and I also want to mention in case it helps that I found the pregnancy and birth loss board very supportive when I had my loss.



ETA: Also in case it helps, I found having a goodbye ritual for the lo I lost very healing. You'll know if that's a fit for you, but it didn't even occur to me at first, so I wanted to mention that too.

My heart goes out to you.

treehugger.gifMama to DS (3/05 )carrot.gifh20homebirth.gif, wife to DH bikenew.gif, remembering rainbow1284.gifdog2.gifdog2.gif and angel1.gif Spirit 1/07, angel1.gif Hope 5/09, angel1.gif Harmony 6/10, angel1.gif Love 5/11, angel1.gif Joy 6/11
 

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#23 of 464 Old 01-20-2009, 07:15 AM
 
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Thank you all for support and kind words. It really means a lot to me.

I don't feel like I need a break from TTC and will start again as soon as possible. I'm going to call the IVF department this afternoon to set up my next appointment. Although their cutoff is 40 (I turned 40 during the pregnancy), they will probably let me try with them one more time.

I hope this doesn't offend anyone, but I buried the sac with the fetus in a flowerpot and was planning to plant something in it later. I'm afraid to tell DH, because I think he will be freaked out about it. I doubt he would be open to any type of ritual, but I said goodbye and said a prayer when I buried the fetus. DH was at work (my choice) when the actual POC passed.

A question for ladies who have dealt with 1st trimester loss: Did you consult a doctor or have any type of medical treatment afterwards? I feel pretty certain that all the POC are out and I am now barely bleeding. About the same as a medium-light period. I'd rather avoid doctors since we just moved and I don't have one in the area yet. And were you told to wait a cycle or to before beginning TTC again?

DS 31/01/10, TTC #2
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#24 of 464 Old 01-20-2009, 11:38 AM
 
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Stealthee, I am glad you are feeling well and plan to try again soon. I had two first tri losses. I think since you are not bleeding heavy now, you should be fine to not go to a doctor. If it gets heavy, I would see someone. I had a problem with my last loss because the placenta didn't completely detach so I needed a D&E. The bleeding was very, very heavy and I passed out from the blood loss while at the hospital. But it doesn't sound like you will have this problem. See what the IVF doc recommends. He may want you to wait one cycle before trying again. Again, I'm so sorry you are going through this. It is heartbreaking. Please pm me if you want to talk about this more offline. (((Hugs)))

Homeschooling mom to 2 boys (4/01) and (1/05)
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#25 of 464 Old 01-20-2009, 11:49 AM
 
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Stealthee - Again so sorry that you are having to go through this!

My thoughts are if you are physically and mentally feeling like you are ready to try again, then there is no real reason to wait. Even with my second trimester loss, we didn't wait, we started trying again as soon as my bleeding had fully stopped and I was having signs of fertile CM and a +OPK...as it was I don't think I ovulated that first cycle, but for me it felt good to be trying. Some doctors will suggest waiting a cycle or two, though it seems likely that is more for possible dating purposes or to help be sure one is mentally ready, and some say it is fine to try as soon as you feel ready. I tend to think your body and your heart will let you know if you are ready or not. Everyone's experience is different.

I can't imagine anyone being offended. There is no right or wrong in these situations, you must do what feels right to you and what brings you comfort...it is a very personal thing, and we all cope differently. For myself I like the idea of planting something, of life springing forth even from loss.

Regarding doctor care afterwards, I did have a followup appt, but no exam was done at that time, she simply asked me about how I was feeling, confirmed I was no longer bleeding or having any physical issues and ordered bloodwork to be sure my hcg was dropping appropriately (which I already knew it was from using hpts at home). I didn't find the appt all that necessary, but I was recovering very well physically. If you decide to forgo an appt, just be sure to keep an eye on how you are feeling.

Wishing you all the best when you start to try again.

Me-46 DH-45 DS born June 2012 TTC#2  July 2008 angel3.gif19 weeks, April 2010 angel1.gif @11 weeks, Sept 2010 angel1.gif @ 7 weeks. Feb 2011 angel1.gifangel1.gif twins @11 weeks. bfinfant.gifcd.gif

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#26 of 464 Old 01-20-2009, 12:36 PM
 
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Feeling very down this morning. Ever since our loss in July I have been charting and using OPKs and checking CM, and though we have had no luck yet, I know from my charts that my cycles are very regular (I ovulate each month on cd 12 or cd 13 and have a luteal phase of 14 or 15 days, almost always 15), and we have been doing a good job of timing things in the days leading up to O, etc). Well, last cycle I took a very small dose of DHEA for a few days and O'd on cd14 and had a 28 day cycle...so still pretty much my usual pattern. As I had seen no ill effect from the DHEA, at the end of that cycle I started taking 25mg in the morning, and then after a few days increased to 25mg in the morning and a 1/2 tab (12.5mg) at lunch (still low dose compared to the recommended 75mg a day, just wanted to ease my body into it and monitor for any side effects).

Given my very regular cycles I normally start OPKs on cd10 and each cycle I have always caught my LH surge with no problem. This cycle I was a little slack in taking temps during my period and the few days afterwards. My pre-O temps are very consistent, always ranging from 36.3-36.5, so I thought I could safely take a little break, try to stress less. Well I took my temp on cd10 and it was 36.6 (I thought that a bit strange as that would normally happen if I had just O'd, but passed it off as just an off temp, it wasn't a big enough rise to worry me). Yesterday I took my first OPK and it was not positive, but looked very close (the way it generally does the day before my surge), so I figured everything was still on for my usual O time (although my CM the past couple of days has been rather creamy/sticky, more like post O), so we had sex last night...well this morning my temp had spiked up to 36.9....my BBT only ever goes that high when I am several days past O, or have a fever...which I do not have. Now I am afraid I somehow managed to O on cd9 and managed to completely miss this month. Work had been busy the past few days, so our last BD had been cd 4...too early. I am so upset, the idea of wasting a whole cycle, with no chance, is hard to take right now, and I don't know if this early O is from taking the DHEA, or if something else is wrong, or if it is just a random off cycle...my body is always so regular. I am kicking myself for not having sex a couple of nights ago, normally we would have, but we were both tired and I thought it was too early to be worried about it, thought it might actually be better to start our "marathon" a little closer to O, wondering if we have been depleting DH's sperm too much before the day or two it has the best chance...

The funny thing is I did have rather fertile looking CM right after AF, but I passed that off as just being leftover from AF itself, as I never had fertile CM until at least cd8 or cd9. I can't believe I seem to have released an egg with no chance this month, we have been trying so hard. It is hard enough to get AF each cycle, but to feel out before I even get to get excited about this cycle's chance is depressing. Sorry for the long winded post, I just needed to vent. I was so happy to be expecting to O in the next few days and to feel hopeful again for a bit...now I just feel bummed!

Me-46 DH-45 DS born June 2012 TTC#2  July 2008 angel3.gif19 weeks, April 2010 angel1.gif @11 weeks, Sept 2010 angel1.gif @ 7 weeks. Feb 2011 angel1.gifangel1.gif twins @11 weeks. bfinfant.gifcd.gif

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#27 of 464 Old 01-20-2009, 02:28 PM
 
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Stealthee, I also think that planting something gives you hope and a reminder that is personal. I wish I could have been home, without medical intervention, for my loss and could have made that decision too. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Halifax, when I got pregnant last(1/08) we only tried one time(day 10) and I wasn't charting but felt I O'd on day 14 due to cm and prior charting. I got pregnant even though it was only one bd. Also, when I was charting, I confess, I would look at the charts that showed positive pregnancy(somewhat obsessively) and not all the charts showed bd just before the O date. A good portion of the charts showed bd the day of O or even a couple days before. We have bd'd every day(10days) and have not gotten pregnant, so I think there is still a chance.
I wish you much good luck this month!!!You never know!

Dhea(50mg) has not made my cycles longer or shorter or changed my O date, but everyone is different. Maybe the slight increase of Dhea you used could have changed it slightly.I have also had the blobs of clear, yet brownish ewcm right after af and wondered if that fertile mucus or not.But we have even tried bd during af and have not had a BFP. My youngest still comes up to our bed sometimes and dh work calls all the time, so I don't always trust my temps too much.

I am not charting this month because I have tended to become too obsessive in the past.(shocker) We decided to bd everyday from af on this cycle. I hope I can keep it up.(I think we are around day 12-13) I love dh, and I really want to be pregnant but I just want to sleep!!!Meanwhile he is in heaven and I just want to tell him that I cannot keep this up forever!
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#28 of 464 Old 01-20-2009, 02:55 PM
 
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halifax40 - I'm sorry you think you missed O this cycle. I don't know enough about DHEA to know if it could cause an earlier O. Are you taking anything else?

I had a bit of a pre-O thing going on too. I got a positive OPK on CD11. But kept having O pains and major ewcm until Sunday afternoon but no temp increase until today(so 4 days after my positive opk). FF has my O date at CD11 but I don't think that is right. I don't think I O'd until yesterday. My pre-O temps are higher than usual too this cycle. Not sure why.

Homeschooling mom to 2 boys (4/01) and (1/05)
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#29 of 464 Old 01-20-2009, 03:06 PM
 
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Many continued hugs and positive thoughts for you Stealthee. I did not have to see a doctor after either of my losses as I had no RPOC.

Both my doctor and my naturpoath/acupunturist said to wait for one normal AF before TTC again but I modified that to waiting until my HCG returned to zero before having unprotected sex. Turns out I o'd before my HCG returned to zero both times so I did end up waiting a cycle. I think docs just like it because it is easier for them to date the PG and I think my naturpoath was worried about my low iron levels.

Honestly, I think you are fine to TTC again as soon as you feel ready. My doc did say no DTD until I stopped bleeding.

Me (42), DH (41), DD (7), DS1 (5) and DS2 Aug 02/09
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#30 of 464 Old 01-20-2009, 03:08 PM
 
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DHEA did not affect my cycles at all and I took 75 mg for 11 weeks after my 2nd loss.

According to the tabloids Jennifer Aniston froze her eggs at 39. FWIW.
I think it is crazy if the cut off is 35. My kids were born when I was 35 and 36 and they are perfect (if I do say so myself) and I have no indication that there is anything wrong with this 41 year old egg baby!

Me (42), DH (41), DD (7), DS1 (5) and DS2 Aug 02/09
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