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#61 of 316 Old 03-06-2009, 12:09 PM
 
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VM - Big congrats!!! I'm sorry you are a little disappointed but I do understand. I'm sure once it sinks in you will be thrilled to be having another boy and your ds will love having a brother to play with.

Homeschooling mom to 2 boys (4/01) and (1/05)
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#62 of 316 Old 03-06-2009, 12:12 PM
 
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Congratulations VM! It's good to write out your thoughts and be truthful ... p.s. Not all boys are challenging (it might be hard to believe, if you have such a challenging little fellow). You could be brewing a laid back little boy! When I first had my son, I wanted a girl for #2, but the older my son got the more I wanted another boy, a brother for my son, as I envisioned this beautiful sibling relationship. Now I would want a girl, so as to hopefully lesson the competition and potential comparisons w/ my only son (although getting pregnant would be a start lol). We think too much!

Sara - Mum to C (10/02) ; m/c 10/07; 7/08; 3/09; Lucy Olive Feb 28, 2010 !
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#63 of 316 Old 03-06-2009, 12:33 PM
 
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Thanks guys for listening and not flaming me! I actually have a medical reason for being disappointed/scared.

My DD was small-ish (6 lb 9 oz) and my son was pretty big (9 lb 5 oz) and had huge shoulders that got stuck during the descent. I pushed for over an hour and nothing happened. Finally I got him unstuck and pushed him out 1.5 hours later. However, his shoulders would not come out within the time frame (3 minutes) so they were just getting ready to break his clavicle when I managed to get him out.

My midwife has some concern that if this is a boy and he is as big or bigger than my DS that I might not be able to get him out. DS's birth was pretty scary.

Anyway, it is a boy. So I will have another ultrasound closer to the date, which I have never sone before. Hopefully to put our minds at ease about the size of the baby.

I am scared about having another, even bigger boy and I am also disappointed that DD will never have a sister. This is it for our family.

And, of course, I feel guilty because it looks like I am having a very healthy little bean and I love him already and I know many people would love to be in my place right now.

I will get over this in a day or too and thanks for letting me get it off my chest.

Me (42), DH (41), DD (7), DS1 (5) and DS2 Aug 02/09
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#64 of 316 Old 03-06-2009, 12:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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VM disappointments are real. I think you are right to voice it here and move forward. I have three boys and a girl. I love my DD but really prefer to raise boys. It seems so much easier. My first one was a challenging child my other two were pretty mellow.

AFM I am cd14 I think I O'd 2 or 3 days ago just waiting for crosshairs. Timing is good if my numbers are right.

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#65 of 316 Old 03-06-2009, 12:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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VM I can totally relate. My second was to term and weighed in at a whopping 10 pounds. I did it again after that and the youngest was 2 weeks early and 7 pounds.

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#66 of 316 Old 03-06-2009, 01:09 PM
 
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vegan - Congrats on your healthy baby boy! : FYI, both of my sons were/are SO much easier to handle than my daughter so don't assume that that boy=trouble. Also, growing up I was very close to my brothers and not my sisters so don't assume that your DD would be close to a sister just because you were close to yours. Regarding sizes, my DD was 9lb 1oz, 21.5" long and I could not get her out because her head was big and they had to use forceps. DS1 was 9lb 5oz, 19" long and came out in three quick pushes (one for head, two for shoulders.) DS2 was induced two weeks early and was 8lb 12oz, 21" long and it took about 5 minutes to push him out. The point being that even though all of my babies were big, DD was the hardest to get out. Don't assume that another boy will cause delivery problems.

AFM, I am back to CD one after back-to-back 17 day cycles. You better believe that I stopped the DHEA! It obviously screwed me up!

Karen 48 DH 53, DD 22, DS1 20, DS2 4, DSS 24, DSD 21
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#67 of 316 Old 03-06-2009, 01:20 PM
 
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VM, Don't feel bad for the disappointment, it is only natural if you've gotten your hopes up. and yes, I agree, it is better to be transparent about it, we love you and would never flame you for that

Thanks for keeping us posted

afm, I am now bleeding very heavily, and am really trying to be positive, I had no idea how hard that would be, it caught me off guard and I am so thankful that you guys are here for me bf is here though, and we talked about it for a long time last night, it was nice to finally talk about it. I keep getting the feeling I have been kicked in the gut though, I can't believe I am still upset. I was only a few weeks pg, it must be so much worse for those of you that were much further along I guess when I am through bleeding I will feel better. I can't wait for the BDathon I actually love it!

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#68 of 316 Old 03-07-2009, 01:52 AM
 
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to you BelovedK. I had hoped that second test was wrong, but the low beta number was not a good sign. No matter how early, it's still a loss and a disappointment, and it still makes you gun-shy for any further pregnancies.

VM, my ds is very gentle and sweet for the most part. As far as size, do you think you could have had a mild case of GD with your ds? Large babies can often be caused by GD, or pre-GD. Have you had your insulin/blood sugar ratios looked at? GD is common among women with PCOS, which is why I read up all about it.

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#69 of 316 Old 03-07-2009, 02:58 AM
 
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BelovedK. Having to deal with the blood on top of the grief is no fun.

VM, good for you for full out facing your disappointment. I hear you that you are processing it through and will come around to your excitement. I suspect that's how I'd be, too. I'd love my #2 (may there be one) to be a girl, so I can have the experience of having one, but I have faith that if it isn't, I'll find my excitement, so I can totally relate. I think it is a grief process and should be approached with that kind of tenderness.

For whatever reason my and dh's friends have about 80% boys, so when I was pg with ds, I said I'm expecting a boy, but I'll feel like I won the lottery if I get a girl. So when he was born I admit, I was a little disappointed he was a boy, but after getting to know him, I do feel like I won the lottery. He is such a dear, amazing, bright spirit.

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#70 of 316 Old 03-07-2009, 10:36 AM
 
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Originally Posted by veganmama719 View Post
Thanks guys for listening and not flaming me! I actually have a medical reason for being disappointed/scared.

My DD was small-ish (6 lb 9 oz) and my son was pretty big (9 lb 5 oz) and had huge shoulders that got stuck during the descent. I pushed for over an hour and nothing happened. Finally I got him unstuck and pushed him out 1.5 hours later. However, his shoulders would not come out within the time frame (3 minutes) so they were just getting ready to break his clavicle when I managed to get him out.

My midwife has some concern that if this is a boy and he is as big or bigger than my DS that I might not be able to get him out. DS's birth was pretty scary.

Anyway, it is a boy. So I will have another ultrasound closer to the date, which I have never sone before. Hopefully to put our minds at ease about the size of the baby.

I am scared about having another, even bigger boy and I am also disappointed that DD will never have a sister. This is it for our family.

And, of course, I feel guilty because it looks like I am having a very healthy little bean and I love him already and I know many people would love to be in my place right now.

I will get over this in a day or too and thanks for letting me get it off my chest.
VM - first of all, Hopefully, this one will be a little guy and there will be no worries! I just wanted to share with you about ultrasounds late in the pregnancy, though (you probably already know this) - they tend to overestimate the weight of the baby, and the closer it gets to the due date, the more they are off. I had an ultrasound when my babe was "late" so they could estimate my amniotic fluid level, etc., and they were off on her weight by over a pound!! Just saying, when you do get the ultrasound, it might help to figure in a margin of error. Not saying that if you are feeling nervous about going into the delivery, you shouldn't heed your feelings. What you went through sounds terrifying - you are one strong woman for getting your baby out before they could break his clavicle. Also I can relate to your feelings of disappointment about having another boy. My husband and I are both hoping for another girl, and since there's no question that the next child will be our last, we'd have to do some emotional work if we found out it was a boy! Good luck and good health to you and your family!

Jen, mom of  two amazing girls, b. 2/16/06  and 1/29/10 hbac.gif

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#71 of 316 Old 03-08-2009, 05:19 AM
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11 DPO. My nipples are perpetually hard and extremely painful. They escape all bras. I tested with FMU this morning and got a weird result. In addition to the dark control line, there were two faint lines in the result window. What could this mean? My partner says "TWINS!" but I just smacked him.

Defective test?

I'm due for my period about Tuesday by my calculations. I'm not "late" but I'm unhappy.
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#72 of 316 Old 03-08-2009, 08:01 AM
 
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That's weird, BUT a line is a line!! I can't wait to see the results with tomorrow's FMU!!!!

I'm stalking you :LOL

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#73 of 316 Old 03-08-2009, 08:53 AM
 
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M and W - Post pics please!

Karen 48 DH 53, DD 22, DS1 20, DS2 4, DSS 24, DSD 21
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#74 of 316 Old 03-08-2009, 03:22 PM
 
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I say try another test. Sounds like it malfunctioned.

Jen 47 DS C 2/03  angel.gif04/29/08/ DD S 10/28/09 DH Bill '97.

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#75 of 316 Old 03-08-2009, 05:06 PM
 
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Jen (Avery's mom), I have heard that about late u/s so I will try to take it with a grain of salt.

Jen (Pookie), I have no indications that I had GD or pre-GD with DS. I think he is just genetically very big (my DH is 6'2" and weighs 220 lbs and has linebacker shoulders) wheras my DD is a throwback to some very small ancestors on both sides. I did gain a lot of weight with DS but he was a HUGE 9 month old (26 lbs) so I kind of think I needed to gain a lot to nurse him!

Miracle and Wonder, it does sound like a defective test to me. Grab another one if you can!

DD is sick with a fever and body aches. She rarely gets sick and is very clingly today.

I am feeling much better about having another boy today.

DS is challenging. Mostly because he is SO high energy and so smart. But those are both good things in the long run so I try to keep that in mind. There is no mal-intent in his hijinks at all.

Must go, DD is trying to climb on my lap.

Me (42), DH (41), DD (7), DS1 (5) and DS2 Aug 02/09
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#76 of 316 Old 03-09-2009, 03:14 AM
 
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M&W yikes, ouch! I've had sensitive nipple issues but this sounds X-treme. I've gotten addicted to cotton nursing pads even though I never leak anymore. Maybe they would help you. For me they shield me from the movement of my shirt, and they provide for those times when I'm not going for the nipple look (like usually). Also, I don't have a vote, but I vote for retest.

VM hope your DD feels better soon, and glad to hear you're already feeling more excited about your boy on the way.

AFM, I'm on CD11. I love the not temping for most of the cycle (it's challenging with my cosleeping arrangement, plus I make myself crazy overanalyzing), but now that I want to do it again (I do want to know when I O), I'm having a lot of trouble remembering. . I finally did for the first time this morning. I hope I keep that up through O.

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#77 of 316 Old 03-09-2009, 06:53 AM
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I didn't test this morning because I had some brownish red spotting (well, brownish red mucous on the toilet paper, sorry for TMI) last night and then some pink mucous this morning. I'm having really bad cramps in my lower back and mid-tummy (near my ribcage) so I'm expecting my period sometime today as expected. Will likely O again on the 20th of March and go forward from there.
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#78 of 316 Old 03-09-2009, 07:05 AM
 
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BelovedK so sorry

VeganMamma I want(ed) a little girl too. This will be my last child so if he's a boy, as much as I love him I'll be just a little wistful for what might have been. As far as US go, my OB did one the day before I delivered and she said he was 9 + pounds with a really big head (freaking out my mother who was thinking Down's syndrome). He turned out to be 7 pounds with a normal size head... but then Dr was really pushing for a c-section.

MAW Sorry to hear that it didn't turn out positive.

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#79 of 316 Old 03-09-2009, 11:38 AM
 
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Miracle and Wonder, I am sorry. TTC is hard. I hate it.

Lisa, thanks. I am definitely concerned about the inaccuracy of late ultrasounds. They seem to over estimate weight much more than the other way around.

With DS I didn't have a late u/s since there was no reason too. The midwife guessed his weight at about 7.5 lbs. DD was 6lb 9 oz so I am thinking that is what she was basing it on.

He was 9b 5 oz.

That said, at my 20w u/s he was measuring a whopping 9 days ahead. And I was positive of my dates.

This boy was right on my dates and the tech said he was eactly average size at this point.

So maybe he didn't get the "big person genes" like my 5 year old DS.

DS is taller and heavier than DD, who is 20.5 months older.

DH and I both have very petite AND very big people in our families. My DH is 6'2" and his dad is 5'3". Go figure!

Hope everyone is ahving a fertile day!

Me (42), DH (41), DD (7), DS1 (5) and DS2 Aug 02/09
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#80 of 316 Old 03-09-2009, 02:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am 5 dpo and had some mild cramping really low and right in the middle of my abdomen. I ma hoping it is implantation. We had pretty good timin gthis month and not just one day of it.

Laurie (46) Wife to : Mom to 4 Grandma to :
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#81 of 316 Old 03-09-2009, 05:08 PM
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No period yet! And NO MORE SPOTTING! My breasts seem to be a bit more normal now though (still sore), so I'm going to wee on another stick now.I really don't expect anything this cycle, but this is exciting!

I am a loser.

VeganMama--hooray for normal sized babies! Unfortunately, in spite of being tiny, I seem to make huge ones (DD was born at 38 weeks & 8 lbs, the twins were born at 34ish weeks and & 6 lbs), but I'm really glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better. I may be a little biased, but I think little boys are grand and you'll have loads of fun. Plus, I think little girls with their baby brothers are the cutest thing ever!

massaginmommy--good luck! When do you plan to test? Waiting is sooo hard!
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#82 of 316 Old 03-09-2009, 05:36 PM
 
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M&W - Don't keep us waiting!!!!

Karen 48 DH 53, DD 22, DS1 20, DS2 4, DSS 24, DSD 21
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#83 of 316 Old 03-09-2009, 06:32 PM
 
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Hi everyone! Just a very quick post for now to say sorry for being MIA recently, but work has been super busy (we have been short staffed and I have had a number of overtime days). Just finished another busy workday and then had to hurry to acupuncture (was my third session today)...now I just want to curl up for a bit and enjoy the bit of relaxation it gave me. Got my positive OPK today, I am cd14 today, so I am happy to be Oing at a more normal time after a couple of odd cycles. Just wish it meant it was a good egg this month....will keep hopeful that it is.

Hope all is well with everyone, will duck back to catch up and do personals later!

Me-46 DH-45 DS born June 2012 TTC#2  July 2008 angel3.gif19 weeks, April 2010 angel1.gif @11 weeks, Sept 2010 angel1.gif @ 7 weeks. Feb 2011 angel1.gifangel1.gif twins @11 weeks. bfinfant.gifcd.gif

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#84 of 316 Old 03-09-2009, 09:09 PM
 
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VM, do you know about the "Gaskin Maneuver"? It frees the baby when the shoulders are stuck, without breaking the clavicle, it's basically the mother getting on her hands and knees! Here's hoping and praying everything goes smoothly with your pregnancy and birth, but this might be a good thing to talk to you midwife about, just to ease your anxiety. It's named for Ina Gaskin, author of "Spiritual Midwifery"... anyway, I thought the information might be helpful to you or your MW.

AFM, I started AF Friday, almost done now. We have had excellent timing for 4 months now, I'm trying not to worry about it. I am telling myself that the baby is waiting for the right time. We have also started intensive therapy for DS's sensory integration, so maybe the stress is a factor. It's so hard to think about #2 when #1 is in such need, but I'm hoping things will ease with him in the next few months.

Wife to Bear - Mom to DS 7, gifted with SPD and DD 2, a Joybunny!
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#85 of 316 Old 03-09-2009, 10:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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massaginmommy--good luck! When do you plan to test? Waiting is sooo hard!
I will try not to test until AF is late so after March 18th. That will make me 14 dpo That is about my normal, O on cd 12, 14 dpo start on cd 26 so if I haven't started by then I will poas the next morning. I bought tests 2 cycles ago and haven't used them yet.

Laurie (46) Wife to : Mom to 4 Grandma to :
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#86 of 316 Old 03-10-2009, 02:10 PM
 
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Just keeping us from hitting page 2.

Wow, a lot has happened since I last checked it. I don't have time to do all the personals so good luck to everyone this month. I hope it's a month for strong, healthy, fertile eggs.

VM congratulations on the baby. I completely understand where you are coming from thrilled to be having a healthy baby but wistful for the girl. As you said it will just take an adjustment period. And by the time he is happily nursing you will have forgotten why you wanted another girl.

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#87 of 316 Old 03-10-2009, 02:42 PM
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I tested this morning, and something strange happened.

Since I was spotting again, I didn't expect much. However, when I looked at the test (within the time limit), there were two lines. Before I had time to celebrate, my period started.

I called the doctor but they couldn't get me in til 9th April. I love the NHS. Should I go to A&E, tell them I got a positive test and then my period?

This test was definitely positive--the last one, the lines were greyish, this line is definitely pink.
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#88 of 316 Old 03-10-2009, 03:06 PM
 
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Thank you Pitchfork! We did indeed use the Gaskin Manouevre to get Jack out. I was glad to have a very experienced midwife. This time, my midwife only has a couple of years experience. Diane had 30 years.

Miracle and Wonder, I am so sorry about AF starting. As far as going to the doctor, I think that is not necessarily required. If it is a m/c then it should be very uncomplicated this early.
Chemical pregancies are hard but they are a good fertilty sign.
Hugs to you.

Halifax, I am sorry you are so swamped at work. Some days lately are crazy around here too.

Me (42), DH (41), DD (7), DS1 (5) and DS2 Aug 02/09
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#89 of 316 Old 03-10-2009, 03:13 PM
 
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M&W I agree with VM I don't think there is a reason to go to the doctor at this point. I would recommend looking into TCM though so you can have a better chance of a little bean sticking next time. Sorry for your loss.

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#90 of 316 Old 03-10-2009, 08:27 PM
 
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Hello Everyone!

I love how active this thread is, although it makes it hard to keep up if you've been away a few days. Forgive me if I only do a few personals.

Welcome to all the new ladies. I hope your stay here is short and sweet.

M&W: I'm sorry for your short lived BFP. I agree with VM though that it's a good fertility sign. Still, I'm sure it must be disappointing.

BelovedK: I was so sorry to hear that you lost your pregnancy. Even an early loss is heartbreaking when you're trying so hard to conceive. Thanks too for your reply to my chemical pregnancy thread. It was actually your experience of a BFP one day and a BFN the next that made me start to think that I might have had a chemical myself.

VM: Oh boy, a boy! I'm also really close to my sister and can understand wanting your DD to have a sister too. I hope DS#2 stays on the healthy side of small.

AFM, I'm on CD 15 and still haven't clearly O'd. Guess DH and I have to keep DTD! I just hope that my body is back to normal from the m/c.

DS 31/01/10, TTC #2
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