Trying for #2 excited and scared! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 05-12-2009, 02:59 AM - Thread Starter
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We are now trying to conceive baby number two... I have waffled about this for over a year now and finally think I am ready and sure I want another. I have some issues though.

I gained a ton of weight with my first pregnancy and am finally at a place where I am happy with how I look, I am terrified of gaining all that weight again and it taking another three years to lose it all. Of course I fully intend to keep working out through my next pregnancy. I feel like this is totally selfish and it makes me feel kinda guilty.

My other worry is my incredible lack of patience. With just one child I sometimes find myself wanting to run screaming in the streets, how will I cope with two? We have no family near by so it is just us.

And do you really love the next baby the same way you love your first?

Also I am still going nuts trying to decide between homebirth/hospital birth and Midwife/Doctor.

I realize I over think things, help Momma's!! Advice, opinions, experience's needed!
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#2 of 4 Old 05-12-2009, 01:23 PM
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Hi there and ! I understand your concerns. Let me try and help with what I can. I have two boys and am TTC a third child. I, too, was afraid of how can I love another child as much as I do the first. Let me tell you, from the moment that child is born it all melts away. Your heart is big enough for both and you do love them equally. It's a beautiful thing.

Patience is a tough thing and a second child does add more stress. I can tell you to try and hook up with other mothers and make friends. It helps a LOT to talk to others that go through the same things and you can bounce ideas off each other and be a support for each other. You can look around and see if there are any mommy and me type of classes or things like that to help you meet people. Or if your child is 3, does he or she go to preschool? I met a lot of moms of other children there and that's actually how I met my best friend. We hit it off so well and now she's the best friend I've ever had my whole life!

As for the weight. I was already overweight when I got PG both times. But I was VERY careful and only gained 17 pounds the first time and 22 the second. Just remember how hard you worked to lose it and watch what you eat and stay active, as long as it's safe for the baby. Don't let people tell you that you are eating for two, you're not. You're eating for one and by eating the right things, it's nourishing your baby.

I hope this helps some. And feel free to talk to me anytime you want ok?

Amie 34, DH Jason 34, DS Jacob 5 , DS Joseph 3
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#3 of 4 Old 07-11-2009, 03:25 PM - Thread Starter
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I realized I never responded to this, Sorry!

How did you gain so little? I am now 9 weeks along and have already gained a couple pounds, of course my boobs have doubled...

Excercise is almost impossible these days, unless I am swimming so I am in the pool 3-4 times a week right now. I cannot run at all!

As for my 3 year old, I am trying to really enjoy these last few months of it being just us and am loving every minute of him!
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#4 of 4 Old 07-11-2009, 03:40 PM
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Well if you cant excersize (have you tried pilates? you can do those in the house with the little one around, and even add him into it as a game!) you can always just watch what you eat! And Im not saying cut out how many calories you are eating, just find out what is the best amount of calories for you as a pregnant woman (from your doctor) and make sure you eat that amount in healthy foods each day.

As for the loving the second, I totally agree on everything said in this thread, before they are born you have no clue how you can love them as much but as soon as they are born you feel sort of silly for having that fear.

Also, if you have enough room in your heart for both DP and DS... why should you doubt that you have enough for another baby too?

As my mom always said... her favorite child is her own... it doesnt matter which of the 5 of us... we are all her favorites over any other child in the world. (now she applies that to grandchildren instead of us lol)

Artist, photographer, stay-at-home-mom and Marine wife. Mom to 4; a boy and three little girls.
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