** TTC 6+ Months ~ JUNE & JULY! ** - Page 11 - Mothering Forums
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#301 of 355 Old 07-23-2009, 01:51 AM
 
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Hey everyone, sorry I'm so late in responding, thanks for all the well wishes and good thoughts.

Beloved - I really hope everything turns out okay! I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Tear - I'm glad you guys are going in for an appointment. It's a hard first step to make, but maybe you can get some answers. Hang in there.

Well, and hugs to everyone all around, I hope our luck starts changing...

So, I did pick up a few dollar store tests, and took one last night and one this afternoon (sorta dilluted urine) both negative. So, I dunno. I keep telling myself DT tests aren't that great, yada yada. My boobs are so-so...still kinda sore...I keep trying to remember if they're supposed to be like, really firm and sore, or if that happens later. My cervix seems high and hard and closed. I haven't had any spotting, and I usually get some starting day 11 or 12 (todays 14 dpo). I've definitely had nausea and some twinging. So, maybe 2morrow's temp will clear up the story. If this doesn't work, I think we may switch to TTC every other month, to give my emotions a month off from time to time. I've tried to be really centered and relaxed about it all, but in the end, always end up crying and feeling awful. Thanks for letting me ramble. I'll def. do more personals in a couple days when I can think straight. Glad there are gals out there who know I feel.

Mom to two boys, 7 and 10.  Expecting 3rd boy any day now with DH (his first).

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#302 of 355 Old 07-23-2009, 08:07 AM
 
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Beloved: I hope everything is OK.

Jill: I really liked your statement--I'm actually looking forward to my next birth, though (due date tomorrow!), because I'm starting to feel the cloud lifting and other people's pregnancies and babies are going back to being theirs and not "should have been mine". Not sure if that makes sense...

I'm sure I'll end up going to the showers, as I really enjoy seeing my friends but not everyone knows the struggles we are going though TTC and while I'm OK sharing it, it's not really the venue to do it in. I overthink things but when I get somewhere I always have a good time.

2twins.gif Twin Girls on November 11, 2010
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#303 of 355 Old 07-23-2009, 10:49 AM
 
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Good luck today, Beloved! :

Court, how was today's temp? I'm so glad you're sharing with us, I've missed you! I've thought about taking months off, too, but somehow I always end up wanting to try. I'm just trying to take some of the energy and responsibility out of it, like, ok if we just try to do it when the ewcm and interest are obvious, that ought to cover it. I hope you don't need to think about this any more, and that you're gonna get your BFP today. :

Our little miracles are here!!joy.gif
energy.gif DD Born 7/15/11 biggrinbounce.gif DS Born 4/3/13
love.giflove.gif Keep growing healthy and strong, beautiful little fighter babies!!!

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#304 of 355 Old 07-23-2009, 11:45 AM
 
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Well, I had my u/s, and I do not have a viable pregnancy

I can't be here right now. I will be back later when this becomes more real to me

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#305 of 355 Old 07-23-2009, 01:03 PM
 
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Beloved, that sucks! I'm so, so sorry. I'm praying for you.

Jill, wife to J, mama to O (10/03), MK (7/05), angel1.gif(7/09), A (5/4/10), and ***4***8***12***16***20***24***28***32***36***stork-suprise.gif** 

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#306 of 355 Old 07-23-2009, 02:13 PM
 
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oh, Beloved. I feel so sad. I read about this on your other thread, and I'm so sorry, honey. Please take the time to nurture yourself and lean on us whenever you're ready. I couldn't log on for days after I found out, I just couldn't face it because I wasn't ready to accept it. I'm thinking about you and wrapping you up in hugs.

Our little miracles are here!!joy.gif
energy.gif DD Born 7/15/11 biggrinbounce.gif DS Born 4/3/13
love.giflove.gif Keep growing healthy and strong, beautiful little fighter babies!!!

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Remembering our 3 losses
 

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#307 of 355 Old 07-23-2009, 02:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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BelovedK - I'm so very, very sorry for you and DH. I hope that you take some time to grieve together, decide on your next steps as a couple and can feel better soon. Come back and see us when you are up to it.

Goodness, its like a big : black cloud is over our thread these days!

Court - Any news to brighten it up? I hope your weird cycle doesn't throw you for a loop... but that you end up with good, good news!

Quote:
Tear - I'm just trying to take some of the energy and responsibility out of it, like, ok if we just try to do it when the ewcm and interest are obvious, that ought to cover it.
I like this! I'm hoping I can re-harmonize myself with the more laidback approach again. My excitement over being so late did reinforce to me that I really do want to have a little one with DH. I just don't feel "done" yet. Holding the little baby boy last night was so nice, and really bittersweet. He fell asleep on my chest in the little "balled-up" newborn way and it totally made me realize (again) that despite however long it takes, we'll just keep trying.

I'm glad you made an appointment! I did too... mine isn't until August 24th though. I hope we both get something to work with. I'd at least like to know my cramping is just new, but normal...

Hi to everyone else... no time for full-on personals, since I'm at work, and my first post got deleted accidentally.

I was thinking about a new title for us ladies, and yesterday I kept thinking about how we all feel a bit "raw" emotionally... and I kept thinking of sushi. Silly, huh? So how about... "The TTC with sushi & whine Ladies" (whine spelled like that on purpose). Others will check it out of curiosity, but if we plan out our first page blurb well, I think others would only join cautiously. Most of us are way past, at or real close to the TTC 12 months label anyhow. Any comments?


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#308 of 355 Old 07-23-2009, 04:16 PM
 
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Beloved - I'm so so so sorry.


So, my temp dropped today ofcourse. I've never had such a long lp. Maybe I was trying to be pregs, but it didn't work out. who knows. Still no sign of af. I stayed up till 2am listening to sad songs and just being quiet in my head...like I used to do when I was 14 and pining over a boy Mostly I feel silly for rambling on about my symptoms...everytime I would get carried away describing them to dh, he would just look at me so sad, like, he didn't want me to get hurt. He's been so great, he never tires of talking it all out with me and reminding me that everything's okay and why. ugh, I have to go distract myself...

Lisko- love the sushi and whine name! Maybe having a better sense of humour about all this would help (me, at least). Next month will be my year mark too, and it's been like, 14 cycles or something, so yeah, way past 6 months.

Mom to two boys, 7 and 10.  Expecting 3rd boy any day now with DH (his first).

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#309 of 355 Old 07-23-2009, 08:12 PM
 
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Well, I had my u/s, and I do not have a viable pregnancy

I can't be here right now. I will be back later when this becomes more real to me
I'm so sorry to hear about this I hope to see you back here when you are ready.


Court: I'm still holding out hope for you! Your DH sounds wonderful!

Lis: I like the name. Glad to hear you are in pursuit of a laid back approach again and you have reconfirmed your desire to continue trying.

Tear: I love your approach too --ok if we just try to do it when the ewcm and interest are obvious, that ought to cover it

Things are going to start shining for this thread again soon!!

2twins.gif Twin Girls on November 11, 2010
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#310 of 355 Old 07-23-2009, 08:58 PM
 
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Thank you for all of the hugs guys It really helps that so many people care.

I am feeling so mixed and raw, I hardly know what to do with myself. DH took me to a movie for an escape. I had sushi and diet coke (I know, yech! ) I plan to have a glass of wine tomorrow, drown my sorrows

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#311 of 355 Old 07-23-2009, 09:14 PM
 
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BelovedK - I'm so sorry.

Mama to a DD, born 03/30/07, and DS, born 2/3/10, and someone new, due 10/2/121sttri.gif

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#312 of 355 Old 07-23-2009, 10:47 PM
 
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Thank you for all of the hugs guys It really helps that so many people care.

I am feeling so mixed and raw, I hardly know what to do with myself. DH took me to a movie for an escape. I had sushi and diet coke (I know, yech! ) I plan to have a glass of wine tomorrow, drown my sorrows
I went out for beer and deep fried food the night I found out. It helped a little. I hope your escapes and comforts helped you, and that your DH is supporting you. It sounds like he is. I know how deeply you're hurting right now, and I'm so sorry. I hope it helps to know that the pain fades with time, although you never forget. We're here for you, honey.

Our little miracles are here!!joy.gif
energy.gif DD Born 7/15/11 biggrinbounce.gif DS Born 4/3/13
love.giflove.gif Keep growing healthy and strong, beautiful little fighter babies!!!

Auntie to Nell, Greta, Maggie, and Elsa!

Remembering our 3 losses
 

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#313 of 355 Old 07-24-2009, 09:16 AM
 
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I went out for beer and deep fried food the night I found out. It helped a little. I hope your escapes and comforts helped you, and that your DH is supporting you. It sounds like he is. I know how deeply you're hurting right now, and I'm so sorry. I hope it helps to know that the pain fades with time, although you never forget. We're here for you, honey.
Thank you Tear. I know you went through this. Actually, the CP I had in March was almost as painful. It took me totally by surprise, and it was like the drop on a roller coaster, very sudden and it wasn't acknowledged, no one knew I was pg (if only for a short time), it DID happen, and all of the hopes and dreams were gone.

This time I had the feeling something was wrong, I wasn't nauseous anymore. I only got a little nauseous, and with DD and DS I was feeling that way.

When the tech told me the horrible news I didn't even cry right away, I was in shock, but it is hard to explain. I was ready for bad news, I hadn't slept the night before bc of anxiety. I am grateful for all of you The NP gave me a hug, and then the tears started. My midwife called me too, she was so sweet to me, and made me feel comfortable whatever my choice was to be, she also told me I could call her for support when it started to happen.

I think I have decided to get the D&C for sure. I know it is not as natural and letting my body take care of it, but I want it over with. I want to try again, but I don't know if DH is on board with that We had changed our mind before it happened, but we were both thrilled that it happened. He is going through alot too, today he has had a delayed reaction and is very upset It's hard to see him like that.

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#314 of 355 Old 07-24-2009, 10:05 AM
 
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Oh, more for you, Beloved. It's such a hard place to be in with so much uncertainty.

I'm still "wallowing" food-wise: I got a big latte on my way to get my Rhogam shot, and I have coffee every morning again. I can't drink too much because I'm on call, but had a glass of wine last night. Yesterday I had Cheetos and diet coke for lunch. :

: for you all...

Jill, wife to J, mama to O (10/03), MK (7/05), angel1.gif(7/09), A (5/4/10), and ***4***8***12***16***20***24***28***32***36***stork-suprise.gif** 

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#315 of 355 Old 07-24-2009, 10:09 AM
 
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Oh, more for you, Beloved. It's such a hard place to be in with so much uncertainty.

I'm still "wallowing" food-wise: I got a big latte on my way to get my Rhogam shot, and I have coffee every morning again. I can't drink too much because I'm on call, but had a glass of wine last night. Yesterday I had Cheetos and diet coke for lunch. :

: for you all...
Jill, you sound like me now. I had a diet coke yesterday, and just finished a bowl of Ben and Jerry's and is=t is only 9am I plan to go back on Weight Watchers on Monday. I am now about 20 lbs heavier than I want to be.

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#316 of 355 Old 07-24-2009, 09:27 PM
 
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the CP I had in March was almost as painful.
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I think I have decided to get the D&C for sure.
I want it over with.
I know exactly what you mean, about both statements. I hope everything went well today. :

Our little miracles are here!!joy.gif
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love.giflove.gif Keep growing healthy and strong, beautiful little fighter babies!!!

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#317 of 355 Old 07-24-2009, 09:34 PM
 
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This time I had the feeling something was wrong, I wasn't nauseous anymore. I only got a little nauseous, and with DD and DS I was feeling that way.
With mine, it was before I had DS or DD so I didn't know the fact that I barely had morning sickness at all was a bad sign. I just figured I was one of the lucky ones... despite a family history of notoriously bad morning sickness.

Now when I get pregnant again, if I don't get morning sickness I know I will be terrified until the baby is born... even though some women can get no morning sickness after previous pregnancies with it. With both DS and DD I had morning sickness so bad that if you didn't know I was pregnant you would think I were hungover 24/7 for the first 4 months of the pregnancy... then after that just queasy after every meal.

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#318 of 355 Old 07-24-2009, 10:51 PM
 
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MP: could you take me from the pregnant list and move to waiting to O please??

I *Think* I got a + opk today, but am not sure. So hopefully O is coming my way! I had EWCM today YAY!

Danielle, wife to John, mama to Valley9.24.07
expecting our miracle babies around 5.12.10- praying that baby B grows healthy and strong!
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#319 of 355 Old 07-24-2009, 10:53 PM
 
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Thank you Tear. I know you went through this. Actually, the CP I had in March was almost as painful. It took me totally by surprise, and it was like the drop on a roller coaster, very sudden and it wasn't acknowledged, no one knew I was pg (if only for a short time), it DID happen, and all of the hopes and dreams were gone.

This time I had the feeling something was wrong, I wasn't nauseous anymore. I only got a little nauseous, and with DD and DS I was feeling that way.
.
I was going to say something similar. My CP's were worse for me than my M/C. I don't know why. But I think it was because no one knew at all. So no one was there for me when I was sad

I also felt like something was wrong. One day, I just couldn't feel the baby anymore. I knew he was gone

Danielle, wife to John, mama to Valley9.24.07
expecting our miracle babies around 5.12.10- praying that baby B grows healthy and strong!
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#320 of 355 Old 07-25-2009, 07:47 AM
 
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Oh yes, can I be moved to waiting to be ready? (or waiting to O?)

Today I am ok physically, but not so much emotionally. I can't read about all of the BFPs I am happy for everyone who got a BFP, but I just can't read about it without being upset, I don't know why I click on those threads. When I was in the DDC, I kept clicking on the little bean ultrasound threads, and that was just self torture I feel so bad, because I really am happy for everyone who has viable and healthy pregnancies, I guess I should just give myself time. I can't seem to stay away from the forums though

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#321 of 355 Old 07-25-2009, 08:13 PM
 
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Bumping for Tear

My honeymoon is in exactly 2 weeks. We are going to Asheville NC to the mountains and I can't wait!!! :

What are the chances I will O while I am there? : and shouldn't I be more fertile after a m/c??? : Today is cd1 for me, we will be gone 5 days and 4 nights.

Anyway, Tear, you and I were cycle buddies a few back, why don't we become buddies again, AND let's petition to be voted pregnant!!! It should be your month, and of course, I am dying to have a bean in my belly too (feels empty now )

so, how about it??

I am soooo bored, I am used to working on Saturdays. I have been home recovering, and now I feel a bit icky, they have me taking an antibiotic I am fixing dinner and there's no way I'm gonna eat any. I still have sore BBs, and am still a bit emotional.

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#322 of 355 Old 07-25-2009, 11:40 PM
 
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Theres a great chance of Oing then, BelovedK

Theres also a great chance of success because all the studies Ive seen point to post-miscarriage bodies being more fertile.

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#323 of 355 Old 07-26-2009, 08:12 AM
 
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Theres a great chance of Oing then, BelovedK

Theres also a great chance of success because all the studies Ive seen point to post-miscarriage bodies being more fertile.
I am trying not to be too :

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#324 of 355 Old 07-26-2009, 08:34 AM
 
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[B]When I was in the DDC, I kept clicking on the little bean ultrasound threads, and that was just self torture I feel so bad, because I really am happy for everyone who has viable and healthy pregnancies, I guess I should just give myself time. I can't seem to stay away from the forums though
I still do this sometimes. I don't know why. It's like picking at a scab just to remember how it hurt or something. I think it's a normal part of healing. I'm glad you're feeling a little better.

Our little miracles are here!!joy.gif
energy.gif DD Born 7/15/11 biggrinbounce.gif DS Born 4/3/13
love.giflove.gif Keep growing healthy and strong, beautiful little fighter babies!!!

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Remembering our 3 losses
 

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#325 of 355 Old 07-26-2009, 06:58 PM
 
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You know? I am feeling just awful again, kind of without hope I wish that I would just stabilize. I thought I was doing so well.

It is Jeff's birthday on Tuesday, and he is going out of town tomorrow until Tuesday evening so we are celebrating tonight. Well, his kids are both 2 hours north of us, and neither of them were willing to come down and have some cake with him. He is very hurt, it has been on his mind all day. They never do anything for him on Father's day either. When they were growing up, their mother always made plans for them on his birthday and kept them from him on Father's day. It has always been a sore point for him. He is the best father, and would do anything for his kids (and does) I am for him.

My heart is feeling so heavy, and I feel fat and ugly I am just in a bad place. I think once I can get a handle on a few financial things I have in the air then I will feel better. When I actually start Weight Watchers again, and get a handle on this house (we have ANOTHER flea problem,and have to do a deep, deep cleaning and getting rid of clutter) I will feel better.

I also have a situation with a doctor who was prescribing me meds that I was going off of when I was pg. She actually asked me how I thought I could afford a baby if I couldn't afford my meds : (I had asked for samples and told her that I had a hard time paying the high prices of the meds) I am in the process of reporting her, she basically shamed me I am not telling the whole story, that is just an example of how inappropriate she was)

I kept seeing pregnant women today, and there was a scene in the movie that was pregnancy related that made me it was so silly and embarrassing to cry.

arg, I know this will pass, it just doesn't feel like it atm.

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#326 of 355 Old 07-27-2009, 08:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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BelovedK - Lady.... Don't rush yourself so much. I've never experienced a loss, but with the sadness related to that and then all the crashing hormones going on in your body - you will probably have better days and then a surprise really bad day. If you still have some time off, do something that you really love, include the kids and DH too if it works. again... you will start to heal physically and mentally... even if slowly.

Court - Sorry you had the tricky longer LP... its so hard when that happens! My DH looks at me the same way when I start telling him I "might" be late... and why I think just maybe. He just doesn't want me to get my hopes up.

Tear - I saw your post about maybe still being PG with a shorter AF arrival. I'm sorry that even AF played some tricks on you. I hope that your midwife appointment sheds some light on whatever may be going on with you!

I think I'll start a totally new thread in August.... New Thread/New Name maybe it will help us lift out of this funky cloudy place!

AFM - AF is on her way out. Other than that, trying not to think about anything at all.

to ALL!

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#327 of 355 Old 07-27-2009, 07:45 PM
 
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Bumping again

Taking the night to myself. Farmed the kids out, DH out of town. Plan to grieve and take care of myself (and work on the house)

I' might check in once before bed, but would like to just stay away. It might not be so good for me to keep seeing all of the BFPs, when I had one this morning, but an empty and sad one.

I truly am happy for those who are getting BFPs though, I just need a break

                                Whatever will be, already is...
 
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#328 of 355 Old 07-28-2009, 08:58 AM
 
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Beloved: I can only imagine how you are feeling. I hope you had a nice night. Take care.

2twins.gif Twin Girls on November 11, 2010
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#329 of 355 Old 07-28-2009, 11:17 PM
 
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Hi ladies,
I'm checking in real quick because I miss you! We're on vacation in Maine and it's sooooooo relaxing. I don't have much internet access, but I wanted to send my hugs. :

Beloved, please take care of yourself and give yourself time to process and grieve. I think it's totally normal to want to get pregnant again right away, I definitely wanted that, and I felt like it would patch a hole in my grief. I hope you do, but also that you find a way to grieve and find peace with what happened. It takes time, like lisko said, so don't rush yourself. : I hope you're ok.

Ok, I have to run, but I miss y'all! AF is over for me now, and now starts my favorite part of the cycle.

Our little miracles are here!!joy.gif
energy.gif DD Born 7/15/11 biggrinbounce.gif DS Born 4/3/13
love.giflove.gif Keep growing healthy and strong, beautiful little fighter babies!!!

Auntie to Nell, Greta, Maggie, and Elsa!

Remembering our 3 losses
 

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#330 of 355 Old 07-29-2009, 07:25 AM
 
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Tear, I hope you have a nice time I was doing better, and exercised yesterday morning, and started bleeding alot. I guess physically I need to take it easy. I am going on a walk, but that's all.

I went out and had the best sushi dinner last night! it was DH's birthday. We are going to dinner with his son, son's gf, and grandbaby I can't wait to see the baby, it's been so long. It sucks that they live so far, we can never babysit and stuff like that I am so excited to see her.

I miss BDing I can't for 2 whole weeks!!!! Oh, and the psychics are telling me that I may miscarry 2 more times, but will have a girl within 12 months. I don't want to miscarry again and 12 months is a long time

                                Whatever will be, already is...
 
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