~*Bitter Sushi Ladies - January*~ - Page 11 - Mothering Forums
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#301 of 571 Old 01-16-2010, 05:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Rochelleann View Post
They'll inevitably still be there in the back of my mind.
Nobody can control the back of their mind. Don't be too hard on yourself! I am trying to steer myself off the bitter track lately, too, but I think it is so very very normal and natural to feel that way.

So I'm googling around about ovarian cysts, and turns out the following are common:

fatigue - check
mood swings - check
night sweats - check check!
weight gain - (oh please, please, let that be true and I lose weight after this!)

I really REALLY wonder how long I've had this. Somebody was posting how they developed one soon after a D&C. I remember the FIRST cycle after the D&C I noticed weird twinges in that ovary before ovulating and wondering what that was. Since then, that has been pretty common. I wonder if it was the beginnings of this monster? If so...well no wonder my cycles have been weird since then, no wonder I've been unable to shake that pregnant weight gain, no wonder I've felt so blah. sigh... I'm having a very hard time today. Weepy, weepy. I feel like a tiny little child afraid in the dark. I know that sounds melodramatic, but it's true. Did you know there's a 1 in 500 chance they puncture my bowel and have to do major surgery?

on a less me-centered note: enigo, were you plants ok? You were saying that it froze down there and you were afraid to find out what happened to them. I hope it wasn't too bad!

Our little miracles are here!!joy.gif
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#302 of 571 Old 01-16-2010, 06:32 PM
 
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Hey Tear
I'm so excited for you that you are going to finally get this issue taken care of. Seriously if you haven't read The Infertilty Cure yet, you have got to get it. It really opened my eyes. Many of the fertility treatments that are prescribed often do more harm than good in the long run. It certainly steered me away from the Clomid prescription I have had sitting in my drawer for months.

The plants uggg... We didn't have a freeze, but these are uber-tropical plants. They are not amused... I prefer hurricanes any day of the week to temps in the 30's. We got to the mid 30's two nights in a row, now it's back to the 80's. The poor plants don't know what to do with themselves.

Plus...I almost stepped on another dead iguana (poor thing) when I was out looking at the plants. I was barefoot. I would have jumped straight up in the air! The day after the cold it didn't look too bad out there. Now a few days later....Oh the humanity. Good thing I have TTC to obsess over, CD 6 uggg. MIL will be here on Wed. I will not let this affect my TTC! I have come too far!

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#303 of 571 Old 01-16-2010, 09:18 PM
 
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Hi Ladies:

Our 9th wedding anniversary is next month - and it marks 9 years since we've been on this crazy ttc journey. Feels so odd.

Since this cycle is a non-issue, I've been kind of floating and doing everything wrong. Bad right? Enigo, I think mentioned coffee and coke the other day which gave me a hankering for Coca-Cola for a few days -and I've been drinking way more coffee than normal. No charting, no meds - but have been feeling O-painy in the last 3 days and starving (it's either that or I feal nauseous the week before af). Last week my left boob felt tender. With these new semi-regular cycles I've been spotting for a week before and after af. It's been fun. I've also been back-achy and tired in the last few days. Just realized I'm on cd29 - when my cycles have been running about 25 days. I'm not spotting at all and I hope my body isn't reacting to all of this bad treatment by returning to 6 month cycles. I'm also having weird hot flashes - crazy hormones rock. And of course one of the girls I use to work with emailed me yesterday and asked if I was pg because she'd had a 'weird' dream that I was. So, even on my not worrying about it cycle - I'm going to get the supreme privledge of obsessing tonight and poas in the morning just to put my mind at ease.

Gotta run to the store now - but I'll be back for personals and to catch up on what everyone's been doing.

~T | head-strong ap mama to 2 fur-kids | TTC since 2001 | remembering angel2.gif 8/00, angel1.gif 5/04, angel1.gif 1/07 & fur-kids, Apollo (04/03-12/09) & Bella (04/06-06/12)
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#304 of 571 Old 01-17-2010, 12:22 PM
 
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(just posted this in ttc but then realized what the bitter sushi ladies was all about... so thought this might be a better place to post my ttc woes)

soooo....it says it all in the title. its been so many many many months... its been over a year actually. and if you count the unprotected sex where we weren't "really" trying, its been almost two years. sigh......

so ok. we just moved overseas and although things here (austria) are pretty sweet (we really like the city we are in and the people here and we will be moving into our awesome apartment tomorrow), up until NOW things have been either super stressful or intensely exciting or busy or new or we were living in a city we hated with work we hated. i understand that those types of circumstances can make it hard for some to conceive. but none the less, I am currently in another two-week-wait and instead of being excited, I'm moody and mean and angry and just plain ol irritated with my husband no matter what he does or doesn't do or should have done or I wish he had done. I'm cold and anxious and jumpy and snappy. I just don't want to be touched or hugged or anything. My boobs hurt like the dickens and I'd be excited that those are all pregnancy signs... except they've all happened before. so instead, i'm just resentful; that he has a job he finally loves (and that can both distract him from this ttc business but also is something he will get to have and love for a lifetime) and that he is a man (or even just a person) who doesn't have to carry the burden of being or NOT being pregnant every god damn month. and on top of all of this, my sex drive is gone!! I can muster up about five days before ovulation when I am in the mood about every other day. after that, its SUCH an effort for me to not feel grossed out by the idea of sex. all of this makes me really sad and feel really bad : ( and I want so badly to just be able to decide that I'm just not going to do any of this angry, resentful, sad, mad business... but alas, I can't really help it.

and of course, I'm trying to figure out what I want to do with MY life here in this new country... or even just MY life no matter where we are. I am so distracted about this whole baby/family thing that I find it hard to focus on anything else I would want for myself.... especially in terms of what kind of work would be fulfilling to me. I'm lost in the ttc vacuum that I was certain that Id never get totally lost on. yes, i'm lost in it. totally and completely lost.

any thoughts or commiseration or ideas or supportive words would be ever helpful.
and thanks for listening to my rant

xo
Lapis
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#305 of 571 Old 01-17-2010, 12:52 PM
 
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lapis, I just saw your other post and was wondering if you would join us. Welcome! I'll respond better when I have a little more time. I'm sorry for your tough journey. You're in the right place! I hope your stay is super quick!

Our little miracles are here!!joy.gif
energy.gif DD Born 7/15/11 biggrinbounce.gif DS Born 4/3/13
love.giflove.gif Keep growing healthy and strong, beautiful little fighter babies!!!

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Remembering our 3 losses
 

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#306 of 571 Old 01-17-2010, 01:12 PM
 
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Thanks, Tear... It took me all this time to figure out what this group was about... yep, I thought it was about bad sushi : )

nice to see others are here to remind me that I dont have to be so isolated in this process.

: ) Lapis
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#307 of 571 Old 01-17-2010, 01:18 PM
 
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lapis - are you seeking any medical help? after a year of trying with no luck almost any doctor would at least attempt to try to find out why (even overseas, I would think)

I am sorry to hear what you are going through, its not easy to spend so long without any results

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#308 of 571 Old 01-17-2010, 01:22 PM
 
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Lapis I am sorry I know it makes no sense sometimes how long it takes, even with perfect timing. I also think you are in the right place, and I am short on time or else I would respond more, more I just couldn't not respond. I hope you adjust to Austria, and find your niche there.

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#309 of 571 Old 01-17-2010, 01:29 PM
 
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Thanks ladies,

Mp. yes I do need to seek out some more medical testing at this point. in the states I was denied health insurance : ( and we just got here... but we will have great health care so... just waiting for that health card to arrive and make an appointment. i think it will be a bit relief to at least feel like I'm finding out what's going on.

and Bk... austria is actually a really great place for me I think. yes, still adjusting in many ways, but SOOOO much happier here than where I just moved from (D.C.) and much less stressful than my beloved NYC... so best of both worlds, and as I mentioned to Mp, I'll get some medical attention that I couldn't get in the states.

so glad I found this group. (i'm still laughing at myself for thinking this was a super obsessed group about food poisoning from sushi!!)
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#310 of 571 Old 01-17-2010, 01:37 PM
 
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It will help you a lot once you do get it... because almost (with some few exceptions) anything that could be going on is usually fixable. Not always quickly fixable, or 100% fixable, but there are fixes that can help increase your chances.

I know any small change I made (such as starting to chart bbt, taking Maca, etc.) certainly got my hopes up again for each following cycle that we would be together to try... I think that helped me some, even when most of the time it ended up not working and I would be crushed and unable to try for X amount of time again. Then I would find something else to try and get excited and hopeful over (actually though, Maca was the most recent one and ended up being the cycle that finally worked for us, after 2 years and 7 cycles trying)

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#311 of 571 Old 01-17-2010, 01:43 PM
 
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Lapis, I used to live in DC, stressful!!

                                Whatever will be, already is...
 
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#312 of 571 Old 01-17-2010, 02:47 PM
 
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Hi Ladies:

Our 9th wedding anniversary is next month - and it marks 9 years since we've been on this crazy ttc journey. Feels so odd.

Since this cycle is a non-issue, I've been kind of floating and doing everything wrong. Bad right? Enigo, I think mentioned coffee and coke the other day which gave me a hankering for Coca-Cola for a few days -and I've been drinking way more coffee than normal. No charting, no meds - but have been feeling O-painy in the last 3 days and starving (it's either that or I feal nauseous the week before af). Last week my left boob felt tender. With these new semi-regular cycles I've been spotting for a week before and after af. It's been fun. I've also been back-achy and tired in the last few days. Just realized I'm on cd29 - when my cycles have been running about 25 days. I'm not spotting at all and I hope my body isn't reacting to all of this bad treatment by returning to 6 month cycles. I'm also having weird hot flashes - crazy hormones rock. And of course one of the girls I use to work with emailed me yesterday and asked if I was pg because she'd had a 'weird' dream that I was. So, even on my not worrying about it cycle - I'm going to get the supreme privledge of obsessing tonight and poas in the morning just to put my mind at ease.

Gotta run to the store now - but I'll be back for personals and to catch up on what everyone's been doing.
Hey Tiara....I have everything crossed for you.

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#313 of 571 Old 01-17-2010, 08:48 PM
 
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OPK is nearly + already. I think it did this last month too, nearly + for a week, then bam! Positive. It's just so early

Pfffffffffffffft! I am so over this!

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#314 of 571 Old 01-17-2010, 08:49 PM
 
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OPK is nearly + already. I think it did this last month too, nearly + for a week, then bam! Positive. It's just so early

Pfffffffffffffft! I am so over this!


trying to send as much baby dust to this particular thread as I possibly can!

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#315 of 571 Old 01-17-2010, 10:01 PM
 
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Lapis
I'm glad you found us, lol that's pretty funny about being a group obsessed with sushi!! This group is a stress relief for me, just reading and venting every once in awhile is good stuff.
This TTC stuff gets... old after awhile. Kind of like your in a holding pattern, just circling the airport. Waiting to land.
I agree with Mae that getting some testing done will probably help you a great deal. We just got the basic infertility work up over the last few months, I think I have a couple more blood tests that require fasting so I'm not excited to do those but it has helped. Having a purpose and having someone to help you out with all this and even if they tell us there is nothing wrong at least we gave it a shot. We've got a plan and that has made a big difference in dealing with this for me.
Oh and we live in NoVA!! So yeah, this place is a little stressful but I kinda like it

Jessica, wife to Greg since 7/04, mama to the rainbow1284.gif Gman 7/06, 3 brokenheart.gif , rainbow1284.gif Asher 1/11 and a wonderful surprise due in August!

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#316 of 571 Old 01-18-2010, 08:56 AM
 
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to everyone that needs it to everyone else, and a big to Rochelle, Fierrbug and Lapis. We're very happy to have you, and glad to support you. It's been a tough road for all of you, but we hope you don't stick around too long IKWIM???

Enigo that the egg doesn't take its sweet time this month!

Sorry If I missed anyone, I'm in a hurry to get to the doctor's this AM. P4 test, and hoping to get them to throw in a Quant HCG. I *thought* I saw something on one of those IC's that I bought from save on tests this am, but it could also be my complete imagination (you all KNOW how that is). I know it would not be visible on camera in any case . I'll check in when I get back Have a great day ladies!!

PS- My chart is teasing me

Wife (32) of 8 years to DH (33), Mom to Logan geek.gif (7), and Tristan and Cael, twins.gif the wee ones, born 3/18/11! And OMW a surprise babyf.gif due 2/2013!
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#317 of 571 Old 01-18-2010, 12:06 PM
 
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OPK is nearly + already. I think it did this last month too, nearly + for a week, then bam! Positive. It's just so early

Pfffffffffffffft! I am so over this!
Oh enigo, I totally feel you. Similar happened to me this month, thank goodness again for the last-minute donation. I hope you get a clear positive sooner rather than later. All this waiting really sucks!

Quote:
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trying to send as much baby dust to this particular thread as I possibly can!


Quote:
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Sorry If I missed anyone, I'm in a hurry to get to the doctor's this AM. P4 test, and hoping to get them to throw in a Quant HCG. I *thought* I saw something on one of those IC's that I bought from save on tests this am, but it could also be my complete imagination (you all KNOW how that is).
Eeek! !!! I hope you get some great news today.

Lapis - welcome! This is a great and supportive place. I'm so glad you decided to join us, but hope your stay is short.

AFM - Holy temp, again. And, check out this chart pinned at O and CL compared with the last 6. Um. Either I'm sick, or there is SOMETHING going on. Eeep.

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#318 of 571 Old 01-18-2010, 12:09 PM
 
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AFM - Holy temp, again. And, check out this chart pinned at O and CL compared with the last 6. Um. Either I'm sick, or there is SOMETHING going on. Eeep.
Me looking at your chart ---> http://discopantsandhaircuts.com/wp-.../11/kermit.gif

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#319 of 571 Old 01-18-2010, 12:14 PM
 
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Holy temp, again. And, check out this chart pinned at O and CL compared with the last 6. Um. Either I'm sick, or there is SOMETHING going on. Eeep.
HA, I KNEW you were playing with your temps! (I was teasing you in the ONE thread.) I'm so hopeful for you!!! You don't sound like you FEEL sick (like, the flu).

Nanette, that you can get tehm to do the test today, and that it's a BMP (big MONSTER positive!) that's so exciting about your maybe line this morning!!!

enigo, waiting for O to show is a bummer. I hope it happens soon and you give it a good spermie invasion!

lapis, my hubby is from Germany. I'm so glad you moved to a country with health care for everybody! I agree, once we finally stated getting help from a RE it felt good to be finally moving forward. We're bitter sushi ladies cause we're bitter and we treat ourselves to things we're not supposed to eat "just in case", like sushi. lol about your first impression!

fierrbugg, I know what you mean about teh "take a month off month." We had that last month, and I was more obssessed than ever. Congrats on your anniversary coming up! I hope you get to celebrate with a BFP!

afm, off to the dentist with DH.

Our little miracles are here!!joy.gif
energy.gif DD Born 7/15/11 biggrinbounce.gif DS Born 4/3/13
love.giflove.gif Keep growing healthy and strong, beautiful little fighter babies!!!

Auntie to Nell, Greta, Maggie, and Elsa!

Remembering our 3 losses
 

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#320 of 571 Old 01-18-2010, 12:22 PM
 
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Lol. Hahahahahahah.

Tear - thanks for chart stalking.

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#321 of 571 Old 01-18-2010, 02:35 PM
 
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thanks for the warm welcome everyone!
glad I found this group : )
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#322 of 571 Old 01-19-2010, 09:42 AM
 
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Hey ladies, just wanted to jump in and give you the 4-1-1 before I go to work and some more. Progesterone was around 19, so she was happy with that, but the beta was -. The nurse told me that it was probably too early(9DPO) for a beta when I asked, but that I could take it if I wanted. Then when she called, she said she was sorry, but that it was negative. (She didn't repeat the it's too early part). It didn't really hit me till this am. I was having back cramps yesterday afternoon, but I'm thinking this is a new AF sign for me. Maybe it's the meds And you know what pisses me off the most? My effing chart. I've been sleeping in cotton pants and long sleeve cotton shirts, cuz it's been cold (and I wanted to keep my temp consistent) and last night, I figured since I'm not prego, I'll just wear shorts and a tank top to bed. My temp this morning was higher than yesterday's! So I'm pretty much over charting. I'm on a fully monitored cycle next month, so I'm not going to bother with it.
Lucky cycle #13 here I come

Wife (32) of 8 years to DH (33), Mom to Logan geek.gif (7), and Tristan and Cael, twins.gif the wee ones, born 3/18/11! And OMW a surprise babyf.gif due 2/2013!
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#323 of 571 Old 01-19-2010, 09:46 AM
 
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Hey ladies, just wanted to jump in and give you the 4-1-1 before I go to work and some more. Progesterone was around 19, so she was happy with that, but the beta was -. The nurse told me that it was probably too early(9DPO) for a beta when I asked, but that I could take it if I wanted. Then when she called, she said she was sorry, but that it was negative. (She didn't repeat the it's too early part). It didn't really hit me till this am. I was having back cramps yesterday afternoon, but I'm thinking this is a new AF sign for me. Maybe it's the meds And you know what pisses me off the most? My effing chart. I've been sleeping in cotton pants and long sleeve cotton shirts, cuz it's been cold (and I wanted to keep my temp consistent) and last night, I figured since I'm not prego, I'll just wear shorts and a tank top to bed. My temp this morning was higher than yesterday's! So I'm pretty much over charting. I'm on a fully monitored cycle next month, so I'm not going to bother with it.
Lucky cycle #13 here I come
Nanette...that chart sure looks puurty

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#324 of 571 Old 01-19-2010, 12:58 PM
 
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Thanks Enigo. Of course after the - beta, I've spent hours online researching the number of women that got a negative beta at 9dp and then positives at 12 and 14 . I've still got a glimmer of hope, but I have an appointment with my RE tomorrow to discuss my IUI and trigger this cycle. So that makes me happy

Have you gotten a + OPK yet??

Wife (32) of 8 years to DH (33), Mom to Logan geek.gif (7), and Tristan and Cael, twins.gif the wee ones, born 3/18/11! And OMW a surprise babyf.gif due 2/2013!
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#325 of 571 Old 01-19-2010, 01:07 PM
 
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Thanks Enigo. Of course after the - beta, I've spent hours online researching the number of women that got a negative beta at 9dp and then positives at 12 and 14 . I've still got a glimmer of hope, but I have an appointment with my RE tomorrow to discuss my IUI and trigger this cycle. So that makes me happy

Have you gotten a + OPK yet??
i didnt get bfp pee tests until 13dpo... I doubt I would have gotten a bfp even on a quantitative beta at 9dpo....

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#326 of 571 Old 01-19-2010, 01:08 PM
 
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Oh, by the way ladies, I did some research on resolving cysts naturally (like the smaller ones) between the PCOS and the Femara, I'm afraid they're going to get bigger, so I found a recipe for a "natural remedy" for cysts. I don't know if it's for real or what, a lot of women swear by it, but who knows.

1TBS Molasses
2 slices beets (canned)
1TBS Aloe Vera Juice
Blend and drink in a shot glass.

It is absolutely THEEEE most disgusting thing I have ever tried in my life. You have to hold your nose, and do it fast or you will not be able to keep it down. I didn't know if Tear and I were the only two with cyst issues, so wanted to share

Thanks Mae! I hope you're right, and it's too early. It's just wait and see now. I'll test again at 13 dpo if AF hasn't shown by then. I just can't take another BFN right now

Wife (32) of 8 years to DH (33), Mom to Logan geek.gif (7), and Tristan and Cael, twins.gif the wee ones, born 3/18/11! And OMW a surprise babyf.gif due 2/2013!
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#327 of 571 Old 01-19-2010, 01:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Nanette56 View Post
It is absolutely THEEEE most disgusting thing I have ever tried in my life. You have to hold your nose, and do it fast or you will not be able to keep it down.
I dont doubt that, just reading the recipe made me feel sick

it works for you though!

Artist, photographer, stay-at-home-mom and Marine wife. Mom to 4; a boy and three little girls.
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#328 of 571 Old 01-19-2010, 02:10 PM
 
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Nanette - ugh, that sounds awful! The things we do, right? I hope it works for you.

Also echoing others' "I think it's too early still" sentiments. for you, my dear!!!!

AFM - temp dropped today... if you can call staying above 99 "dropping." Of course, it's still a drop, relatively speaking, but I'm cool w/ it. Feeling good about chances.

Although I'm feeling good about my chances, physically I'm feeling kinda poopy. I really thought I was going to hurl walking from the bus to my office this morning. All I could smell was horrible exhaust from trucks and cars, and I SWEAR I was surrounded by dog poop and skunks (even though there were none to be seen). Just looking at the dirty puddles in the street and on the sidewalk, and trash collecting in the curbs made me seriously want to lose my breakfast.

I also gagged like crazy after using mouthwash this morning.

I typically have a pretty strong gag reflex, and not much makes me feel ill. I'm trying not to read into it, but OF COURSE I'm hoping it's some sort of sign. Lol.

Part hippie-chick, part type-A career woman, all mama. Enjoying life as a wife to my partner of 11 years, and a mama to our smarty-pants toddler, Cadence.

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#329 of 571 Old 01-19-2010, 02:16 PM
 
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Artist, photographer, stay-at-home-mom and Marine wife. Mom to 4; a boy and three little girls.
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#330 of 571 Old 01-19-2010, 02:37 PM
 
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Nanette...Actually I just have to take a pic of the OPK I just took. No other signs say O is near, other than slight EWCM. This one looks as if it would be properly + tonight or tomorrow.

Lyndzies..looks like an implantation dip to me

Me jammin.gif DH  REPlaySkateboard04HL.gifDS 06/06 superhero.gif ...MC 2/9 11/9 5/10
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