40+ TTC Blossoming Baby Bellies! watching our BFP list grow - Page 11 - Mothering Forums

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#301 of 391 Old 06-05-2010, 01:07 AM
 
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Hi, BHappy! I'm looking forward to seeing what happens with your later ovulation. Hope it's a great thing!

karen1968 and contactmaya, I love what the kiddos said! How poignant!

Yesterday DH and I ate out at a Chinese place and my fortune cookie fortune says "Your most memorable dream will come true." I'm definitely hanging on to that for the baby book if I'm pregnant this time around!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Kali (pka Michelle) ~ crunchy wife to Cory (09/06) ~ Mama to H (03/90) & I (06/92)--bothnocirc.gifbf.jpg BF for 35 consecutive months ~ angel1.gif x 4

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#302 of 391 Old 06-06-2010, 01:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi everyone,

Always good to "see" you here, BHappy.

carfreemama. I ask myself those same questions. The pendant sounds lovely.

Me news: I had the m/c of my would-be January 1, 2011 due date baby yesterday. Even though I was waiting for it, it is sad. Very sad. I am a mess of hormones, of course. I was a nightmare mess of hormones yesterday actually am much better emotionally since the mc, just still feeling a bit tender.

It happened in two phases, one with a lot of blood while we were driving about an hour and a half from home. Fortunately we had a changing pad and flat diaper I could sit on. The second with painful cramps in the middle of last night. They started as menstrual type cramps and got more and more intense until I realized they were like labor cramps and maybe I'd better get up. I felt a lot better in many ways after that, but am tiring very easily. I think I lost a bunch of blood, but the bleeding has slowed way down, so I think I'm okay as long as I rest, drink, and eat well (which I am).

In the midst of the sadness I feel a bit of satisfaction and completion that I actually had a natural miscarriage. (As you may remember in 2007 I waiting 7 weeks after the lo stopped growing and ended up with a procedure.)

My big hope for TTC after this is that dh is healthier than he was early this year. So now I am freaking out anytime he eats something unhealthy or considers taking a pharmeceutical drug. I need to find a bit more balance there.

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#303 of 391 Old 06-06-2010, 01:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Carfreemama, I'm just thinking of you and your questions a bit more. Do you know if your m/c is complete? I remember there was some question about that.

I'm particularly confused about the "is one enough?" question. On one hand ds is so, so wonderful and we are so lucky to have him. And also dh and I have lives so full. On the other hand, I have always imagined (in a gut feeling type way) more than one. That seemed most important for a while, but now it seems as much or more important for ds to have a sibling. I know by how he talks about other kids' "babies" how much he would love it. And we don't have a lot of cousins in our family, so I want him to have family. But meanwhile the age gap between him a potential sibling is getting huge. I know that will matter less when they are adults which will be most of their lives, but I mourn him getting to grow up with someone.

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#304 of 391 Old 06-06-2010, 01:24 AM
 
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Sweet hugs, WaturMama! I'm so sorry, but am relieved with you that it's over with. And so glad it happened naturally. Take good care of yourself in these next weeks.

Kali (pka Michelle) ~ crunchy wife to Cory (09/06) ~ Mama to H (03/90) & I (06/92)--bothnocirc.gifbf.jpg BF for 35 consecutive months ~ angel1.gif x 4

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#305 of 391 Old 06-06-2010, 12:41 PM
 
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WaturMama, I'm glad this has finally happened; although so sorry. And I do think it's great it happened naturally, since that's what you wanted. When I was sure I was m/carrrying, I wanted it to happen on its own, at home; though I know we don't usually get to decide that.

As far as the try again vs only child debate, here's where I (we're) at. Dd was always intended to be an only, by both of us. Dh and I always wanted two things; to live in a housing co-op and have one child. We were amazed at how we both wanted these two uncommon goals and so it was easy. We found a wonderful housing co-op and lived there 10 years. About 7 years into it, we had dd; who was planned and then conceived easily. I bought nice baby clothes and gear and when I gave them away without a second thought, friends would ask "are you done?" They were really surprised I wasn't saving things. But it was as foreign a concept to me that dd would have siblings as it was to them that their child wouldn't. Somewhere along the way, I changed my mind. Dh didn't. Fast forward to now, when he agreed to try again. Only now dd is 6, I am 42 and dh is 44. Maybe we left it too late. Maybe we made our "real" decision when we had dd. I have never felt the need for dd to have a sibling. She has made it clear she doesn't WANT a sibling. We have lots of close friends and lots of them have onlies. So why am I doing this? Well, I LIKE parenting. A whole lot more than I thought I would. I want to do it again. And now dh is hooked on the idea. And now that I've had this loss, I think, maybe we should just go back to plan A. Maybe we should travel; buy a camper van, like we said we would when dd is older. She's a GREAT traveler and wants to go places. I like my job, but I don't want to live and die a transcriptionist. Once upon a time, I was at the top of my class. Maybe I should go back to school. And dh doesn't deal with stress well. And what if our next attempt is a loss, too? What then? I don't know if I want this badly enough.

And yet...it feels like our baby could be just around the corner. I got pregnant easily twice. Lots of women miscarry and it wasn't an unbearable experience. A sibling would be good for dd, whether she wants one or not. Dh and I are both healthy. And we own a nice house and are in a good place financially.

The back-and-forth is exhausting. I like to say it's dh holding me back, but it's not. The truth is, I'm ambivalent and I don't want to admit it. I don't want to admit that maybe, just maybe, I'm done. That the life choices I've made determined our family size of 3 long ago. And yet, we'll probably be back at it within a couple of weeks. It's crazy-making and one of the best things about this pregnancy was that I was actually able to stop asking those impossible questions.

Oh and I think my m/c is complete. It will be 2 weeks Wednesday. Is it normal to still have brown stuff? And (TMI) when I poo, the straining still brings some red blood and the occasional clot. Not much though. And I feel fine physically, though tired (probably emotional).
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#306 of 391 Old 06-06-2010, 12:58 PM
 
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And what if our next attempt is a loss, too? What then? I don't know if I want this badly enough.

And yet...it feels like our baby could be just around the corner. I got pregnant easily twice. Lots of women miscarry and it wasn't an unbearable experience. A sibling would be good for dd, whether she wants one or not. Dh and I are both healthy. And we own a nice house and are in a good place financially.

The back-and-forth is exhausting.


I felt much the same way after my loss in October. Coupled with losing my 17-year-old dog, it was unbearable and I was a mess for at least a month. Then when we started trying again, there were doubts. LOTS of doubts. So we decided to not really try. No charting, no OPKs. I was keeping track of my cycle, and did initiate sex more during my fertile period, but did it all with much less stress.

I have no idea how I would have felt had this pregnancy not happened. Would I be OK with it? Even now, at 15 weeks pregnant, I wonder if it's the right thing. At the same time, I wonder if I would survive another loss (had a bit of panic yesterday for no real reason....).

I don't really know where I'm going with this except, maybe, to say that letting go of expectations, even just a little bit, helped a ton with my mental angst.

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#307 of 391 Old 06-06-2010, 01:51 PM
 
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Oh I can totally relate to wondering whether it is just time to move on and be happy with what I already have. We were done too after our second ds almost 6 years ago. But, I always wanted another in theory. It was just that I was so overwhelmed with my crazy boys that I couldn't see it happening. However, I always felt like there was another baby waiting to join our family. I really truly believed that, and over the years I became so sure of it that we made one attempt at getting pregnant and voila, it happened. So, then I knew I was right. I was relaxed, nervous but excited, not concerned at all about anything being wrong. I almost didn't go in for the anatomy ultrasound that changed everything for us.

So, I have a lot of concerns. Mostly I ask myself just how much time of my life I should devote to thinking about another child. At some point I need to move on. But I also feel like I should just give it another try. Family fullfills me in a way I never thought it would and my kids are so big and it would be lovely to add another person to our family. I have not totally ruled out adoption, and I have not totally ruled out just moving on. But this month I am "letting what happens happen" and trying to have a healthy attitude about it. Although I did go out and party it up last night for my best friend's birthday so clearly I am not totally focused on conceiving again. But, we are not doing anything to avoid, and I am hopeful but terrified.
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#308 of 391 Old 06-06-2010, 02:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I really appreciate this discussion about more than one and how long you go on. I am fascinated by how common the gut feelings/intuitions are one way or another. Really what else could you rely on for something so huge? That's how I feel at least, but it is nice to see some others that do. Carfreemama, I really appreciated your story. A few things especially--one it is so interesting to me that your dd doesn't want a sibling. My ds clearly does. They have intuitions about it too. Also this notion that your earlier actions could have made your decision now. That strikes me as hugely wise. (And still we don't know what will happen now. <--I'm typing that for me.) But there was a time when I "let" us stop trying because of some concerns dh had, even though I knew our fertility was decreasing. I decided to trust that newbaby would come at the right time. At worst, did I "trust" myself right out of my dream? But even as I type that I know it is not true. There is the adoption option and our fertitle days clearly aren't over. And there is something about taking responsiblity for that decision that in a surprising way makes me feel lighter.

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#309 of 391 Old 06-06-2010, 02:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh and I think my m/c is complete. It will be 2 weeks Wednesday. Is it normal to still have brown stuff? And (TMI) when I poo, the straining still brings some red blood and the occasional clot. Not much though. And I feel fine physically, though tired (probably emotional).
Carfreemama, I hate to be the voice of bummer, but from my experiences I think maybe you aren't done. In 2007 I thought I'd had the mc (and so did my midwife when I described to her over the phone what had come out). There had been some volume of stuff, but not nearly as much as what came out this time, which was actually at an earlier time in the pregnancy. I stopped bleeding for a day or two a few days later and then went back to spotting. After over a week of that I had another u/s and found out I wasn't done. I hope that's not the case for you, but maybe it is worth a call to your practitioner.

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#310 of 391 Old 06-06-2010, 02:23 PM
 
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WaturMama, . I'm so sorry you had to go through the emotional roller coaster of this experience, but really glad that it happened naturally for you. I hope the closure brings you some peace. Take good care.

Arianwen, congrats on your son's graduation!

BHappy, interesting surprise! I hope this month works out for you in whatever way is best for your family (knowing that sometimes we don't know what's best!).

AFM, I'm out for this cycle. I returned from camp with dd's school (which was wonderful) and moments after giving blood for my beta hcg, AF showed up two days early. My results were less than 2, which I guess means I didn't conceive. Truth be told, I'm not even sure if I O'd this month. FF thinks not, and I never felt it. My temps were low during my entire LP. And even timing BD to my OPK, our timing was off as DH was sick and I had a UTI. Oh, well. Because of all these issues, I've decided to try soy for 5 days starting today (cd3) and to 100mg progesterone during my LP. Maybe I can get a stronger O and a longer LP next month.

I felt disappointed, but I'm over it. It was probably mother nature's way of allowing me to kick up my heels and enjoy imbibing at a party that friends threw for us last night, to celebrate our recent marriage. At the party, we learned that friends of ours are expecting their first babe, and I was sooooo happy for them! They sprinkled us with "dust" and it felt like a true blessing. I hope we can be parenting-friends with them.

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#311 of 391 Old 06-06-2010, 03:11 PM
 
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Carfreemama, thanks for your story. My DD also does not want a sibling! She did, very strongly, when she was younger, but I think she's just settled into her life as an only now. I think if she does get a sibling, it will be a disruption for her. But hopefully will be ultimately fulfilling... WaturMama, I too think of how my DD will spend most of her life as an adult, and it will be nice for her to have a sibling or two, even one who's 11 years younger.

I too appreciate this discussion about family size and what we put into that, emotionally and logistically. I carry around a planet of regret around this... the decisions I made (or didn't make) long ago have created my present reality. I knew from a young age that I wanted more than one, yet I married a man who wanted only one. After we separated when DD was 2, I allowed my divorce process to drag on for years, remained single throughout my most fertile years, my 30s, while raising DD on my own. I rejected the idea of raising a second babe on my own, rejected the advances of men who were ready to jump into family life with me, and instead fell in love with a man (DH) who was not ready for marriage and parenthood until now, when we are both in our 40s (perhaps I wasn't ready, either... healing from my first marriage took some time). I also prioritized graduate studies and the startup of a new career, etc.

I regret that I didn't have the clarity or wisdom to see the bigger biological picture while I was making these decisions, yet... these really seemed like the right decisions at the time. I fiercely embraced my identity as a single mama, questioned and re-appropriated the definition of "family" and found mine in my circle of friends. I began to dream of a creative life I thought I could live more easily with only one child (and during my "time off" while she was at her dad's). I think a lot of this was a healthy kind of positive re-framing. I just had to let go of my original dream of family life with 2 or 3 kids, and find something else that was meaningful to me. And there is definitely a peace and lightness that comes with recognizing and validating that process and where it has led me.

But... then when DH and I hooked up and started dreaming together, it all came crashing through my front door again! I'm letting the longing back in, and it's pretty intense at times. Especially as almost-10yo DD becomes more and more independent... and when she's with her dad... and when we're with other families... and when we hear that our friends are pregnant. That doesn't mean I'm not ambivalent (especially when the TTC journey gets stressful), but rather just that I'm willing again to leap across that ambivalence and embrace the loud messy chaos of family life... or the quieter messy chaos of TTC.

And at the same time, if it doesn't happen, it's really comforting to know I'm capable of embracing something different and could do that again if I needed to.

Oh, it can all be so agonizing. I'm really glad we have this community to help process and support.

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#312 of 391 Old 06-06-2010, 03:14 PM
 
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Thanks, everyone, for your greetings. It is so nice to check in here. I always loved this thread....

Waturmama, I am sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I am glad that you were able to release it all on your own. It felt a little better to me just knowing my body is perfectly capable of taking care of itself. I know sometimes our bodies need help, and that's alright, too. Our bodies are just amazing, mysterious, beautiful parts of us.

xxo

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#313 of 391 Old 06-06-2010, 05:44 PM
 
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Thanks for everyones' stories. I hesitated to post this; because, well, it just all feels so awkward when we clearly are still trying. Ironically, I was just at a birthday party with dd and one of the other mothers stayed. She has 3 children through community services (public) adoption. I talked her ear off. This is another possible avenue and it's nice to have someone who can tell me how to get started. Of course, I'm pretty sure we'll be DTD in the meantime. Feels a little hypocritical, but there you go.

LitMama, my heart goes out to you and your story. It's really hard and important to remember that you had reasons for the decisions you made and those reasons don't change even when you DO see the big picture. I know that longing. Every new milestone of dd's is so bittersweet. I think if dh and I had had another child while dd was small, we would quite possibly not have made it as a couple. So I decided early on that I would rather have one child and dh than 2 children and no dh. I don't think it would have happened all at once, or even on purpose on dh's part. I just think the stress would have done us in. We are "laid back," messy people who don't have great organizational skills. In that sense, we're good candidates for an only. But we have a very small family too. I'm not sure how to provide that for dd without a sibling, though we've tried to keep things fun with her and make sure there are lots of kids in her life. I think somehow, we've all got to come to terms with where we are now. The 50-million-dollar question for me is how to keep trying and believing it's possible, while moving on with the family I have and not running the risk of getting caught up in something I may or may not ever have.

And oh, WaturMama, RATS. Do I need to see someone right away? My fabulous doctor is really hard to get an appointment with (3-4 weeks?) and I DO NOT want to repeat the experience I had with the nurse practitioner/male doctor on the day I m/c. For some reason, I'm really scared of having to have a procedure done. Was it really awful? The spotting was almost gone yesterday and today, even when I had a poo.
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#314 of 391 Old 06-06-2010, 08:49 PM
 
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LitMama, I would like to start running and doing yoga again, too. So it's safe while you're in the 2ww and in early pregnancy?
Carfreemama, I forgot to respond to this! Well, you know, I wouldn't say that running or other forms of exercise are safe per se during the 2ww or in early pregnancy. I've heard conflicting reports on this, and agonized over it, then decided that the benefits might outweigh the risks for me personally (for stress reduction).

My RE told me not to exercise or do anything that would raise my heart-rate from the moment I get a BFP until 8-10 weeks. When I asked about sex, he said, "Sure, that's fine". When I then asked specifically about orgasm, he said, "Well, maybe it's best if you don't do that for the first 8-10 weeks". He didn't address the 2ww. My gynecologist (who works with my RE) said very emphatically, "Continue your normal exercise routine... exercise can NOT cause a miscarriage. And sex is okay unless you're spotting or bleeding". My TCM practitioner said (about exercise and sex), "Everything in moderation, and trust your intuition. If these things help relieve stress for you, then go ahead and do them, but not as often and not as rigorously." She really believes stress is more harmful than an elevated heart rate. She also said I shouldn't stop drinking coffee abruptly, as any sudden change could act like a stressor on my body.

So I guess I'm sort of taking my TCM person's advice during the 2ww, but if I do get a BFP, I'll then take my RE's advice and stop exercising for 8-10 weeks.

I would imagine gentle restorative yoga (maybe not something more rigorous like ashtanga) couldn't possibly hurt!

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#315 of 391 Old 06-06-2010, 09:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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And oh, WaturMama, RATS. Do I need to see someone right away? My fabulous doctor is really hard to get an appointment with (3-4 weeks?) and I DO NOT want to repeat the experience I had with the nurse practitioner/male doctor on the day I m/c. For some reason, I'm really scared of having to have a procedure done. Was it really awful? The spotting was almost gone yesterday and today, even when I had a poo.
What my mw told me (when she *knew* I was in waiting mode) was the only reason I'd need to see someone right away was if there were signs of infection--if I had a temperature, if there was "foul smelling discharge," and/or if my tummy felt tender. Those things never happened to me.

Maybe call and ask the fabulous doctor to call you and then talk through it with her? Maybe she could direct you to someone else in the office that is better to see if she can't see you. I don't know just what m/c v. done m/c are supposed to look like at different points in the cycle, it just seems from here that it might be worth checking out.

The next step would be a u/s and then they'd talk about steps from there. You could still try the herbs or other things before the procedure. Anyway, I am both really sorry if I am worrying you for nothing and really hope I am worrying you for nothing.

If you get to the procedure point there are many levels of drugs you can have from either completely knocked out to what I did (because I was nursing at the time and also like to minimize drugs) where the only drug I took was an ibuprofen. She used some kind of seaweed to dialate me. There was some discomfort but it was fairly minor and having experience with labor made it pretty easy to deal with. I wanted to do it naturally this time because I like doing things naturally. I know others are glad they did the procedure.

I hope this helps.

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#316 of 391 Old 06-06-2010, 10:43 PM
 
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Thanks all. LitMama, thanks for the clarification. I feel like I'm in a nasty spot with exercise, as I both suffer from generalized anxiety disorder and find it VERY hard to not be physically active. It's so hard not to feel like my anxiety disorder caused my m/c; but even if it did, I'm not sure I could have changed anything. I'm already seeing a chaplain and a therapist for my mental health. I went off very effective drugs (which I was incredibly reluctant to ever start) in order to TTC. So exercise really helps alleviate stress, but then I stress that it's hurting the baby. I took a somewhat vigorous (maybe pushed a little too hard) yoga class about 5 days before the m/c. But afterwards, my anxiety was gone at least temporarily. Now I guess I'll really focus on the breath-type yoga (and lifting light weights. I love weights). FTR, I don't want anyone here to feel remotely like they're worrying me or making me feel bad about stress/exercise/anything else. You women are amazing. It' just that GAD and OCD amplify everything.

WaturMama, I'll call the doc tomorrow. I think I can better handle the nurse practitioner/less wonderful male doc now than I could then, if need be. And I'm supposed to go for hormone-type blood work in a couple of weeks, anyway. No TTC before then, I guess.
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#317 of 391 Old 06-07-2010, 12:23 PM
 
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Can I join? I'm not quite 40 yet (3 more months), but it seems that we're going to actively ttc ... we've been just kind of not-preventing for several months. I'm excited on the one hand, and scared to death on the other. I'm really feeling the bio. clock and wanting to experience pregnancy/birth/nursing/snuggling a newborn just one more time, but I don't think my family will react very well to a pregnancy/new baby and I have health concerns now that I didn't have before.

I'm kind of a mess. LOL

Anyway, hoping to hang out with y'all for the ride. I just entered the 2ww, so here I go!

hippie.gif+reading.gif= Peanut (2004), Pumpkin (2007) and Butter Bean!! (2011)

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#318 of 391 Old 06-07-2010, 02:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome heathenmom! I hope the mess gets sorted out in a lovely way soon.

When you say you don't think your family will react well, do you mean your kids or others? It sounds like you and your dh are both ttc and that is such a good thing. I'm also curious how old your kids are.

Here's some good wishes for your ttc journey

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#319 of 391 Old 06-07-2010, 03:15 PM
 
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Thanks for the well-wishes! Right back atcha!

My family, meaning my parents. I feel ridiculous at nearly 40 years old worrying about what my parents think! But I do. DH has been under-employed for over a year and finances have been tight. I know we'll be fine, but I'm pretty sure they'll see it as irresponsible. Frustrating, since we see them every day (they live next door). Ah well, that's life, right?

Our girls are almost-6 and 3. I think they'll be great with a new sibling, esp. the oldest. She is very firm that she doesn't want to get married or have her own babies (that would require having to kiss a boy ... EWWW!), but she loves to mother her little sister and the baby at daycare.

(And I'm sorry for your recent loss. )

hippie.gif+reading.gif= Peanut (2004), Pumpkin (2007) and Butter Bean!! (2011)

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#320 of 391 Old 06-07-2010, 08:33 PM
 
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Welcome, Heathenmom! I totally understand about worrying about what family will think. DH and I are both on disability and I know family worries, first and foremost, how we'll handle raising a child. I also wonder if people think it's irresponsible to have a child when we live on assistance. Is it irresponsible for parents who would truly give a child amazing love on little money to have that child? Part of me says well, maybe. Most of me says, nope.

End of mini-rant, sorry about that! Anyway, you're right, we shouldn't have to worry about what people think at this age, but I sure understand.

Kali (pka Michelle) ~ crunchy wife to Cory (09/06) ~ Mama to H (03/90) & I (06/92)--bothnocirc.gifbf.jpg BF for 35 consecutive months ~ angel1.gif x 4

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#321 of 391 Old 06-08-2010, 10:21 AM
 
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Thanks for that, Arianwen ... I guess we all have our issues, right?

This post might have some tmi, but if I can't share here, then where CAN I, right? Well, in my post yesterday I said I was in the 2ww (I had lots of ewcm last week, which was gone by Saturday). After I posted that, I got a LOT of ewcm, but it was gone by evening. What's up with THAT?! So now who knows ... I haven't been charting, temping or anything, just checking cm/cp. I'm on cd26 of a usual 30-32 day cycle, but it's been a weird one. My breasts have been unusually sore for the last 10 days or so, and I started leaking something that looked milky/colostrum-y on cd16. That has NEVER happened when I wasn't nursing. I was also just feeling kind of weird in general and thought for about a half-second that I was pregnant, even though it would have been impossible. Just an odd couple of weeks all the way around.

So ... do y'all do the opk tests? I used them when conceiving dd#2 and may order some again. Does anyone have recommendations as to ordering tests online?

hippie.gif+reading.gif= Peanut (2004), Pumpkin (2007) and Butter Bean!! (2011)

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#322 of 391 Old 06-08-2010, 03:48 PM
 
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How stretchy was the EWCM? A few days before AF, I usually get CF that is very similar to EWCM but not as stretchy.

I'm using OPKs in addition to temping and checking CM/CP. Just started this cycle and it was very helpful. I'm really glad I did it. I got mine on Amazon and was very pleased.

Kali (pka Michelle) ~ crunchy wife to Cory (09/06) ~ Mama to H (03/90) & I (06/92)--bothnocirc.gifbf.jpg BF for 35 consecutive months ~ angel1.gif x 4

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#323 of 391 Old 06-08-2010, 04:00 PM
 
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It wasn't that stretchy ... just had the "look" of ewcm, ya know?

Thanks for the link! That looks like a GREAT deal. I'm going to wait, though ... maybe I won't need them. If af starts by the weekend, then I'll order them Monday. If not, then I have a feeling I'll be buying out the Dollar Stores stock of pg tests.

hippie.gif+reading.gif= Peanut (2004), Pumpkin (2007) and Butter Bean!! (2011)

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#324 of 391 Old 06-09-2010, 07:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by heathenmom View Post
So ... do y'all do the opk tests? I used them when conceiving dd#2 and may order some again. Does anyone have recommendations as to ordering tests online?
I just started using them a couple months ago. I've been charting for years, but am finding the opks to be a helpful extra bit of information. I've ordered the strips from www.early-pregnancy-tests.com. I haven't used them long enough to have a sense of how good they are, but I like the price and I've been very impressed with the accuracy and sensitivity of their pregnancy test strips.

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#325 of 391 Old 06-09-2010, 09:51 PM
 
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I usually get a bit of EWCM right before AF too. If I'm pregnant my CM is much more creamy.

I've been using OPKS for months now. They have worked great. I get them from early-pregnancy-test.com and I get clear positives with them every month that seem to be very accurate to my time of ovulation.

AFM, I turned 44 last week. Having been pregnant twice since January it seems I am obviously still fertile but honestly I'm not really feeling super hopeful that a sticky baby is in our future. As a positive my cycles are still very regular. I'm gearing up to ovulate here, presently on CD 11, after the early loss (chemical pregnancy)at 5ish weeks last month, but I'M just trying to take a whatever happens approach. Easier some days, than others that's for sure.

I think I'm still listed on the BFP on the first page, so if you could move me, I'd appreciate it:-)
Kat
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#326 of 391 Old 06-10-2010, 12:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Happy Birthday, beachlover!

I've updated you.

It does sounds like you've got a lot going for you with your fertility. I'm sorry you are feeling discouraged (though I sure understand). I hope that "whatever comes" attitude you're going for comes easier and that you get a happy surprise soon.

treehugger.gifMama to DS (3/05 )carrot.gifh20homebirth.gif, wife to DH bikenew.gif, remembering rainbow1284.gifdog2.gifdog2.gif and angel1.gif Spirit 1/07, angel1.gif Hope 5/09, angel1.gif Harmony 6/10, angel1.gif Love 5/11, angel1.gif Joy 6/11
 

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#327 of 391 Old 06-10-2010, 02:34 AM
 
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Well spoken, WaturMama!

Kali (pka Michelle) ~ crunchy wife to Cory (09/06) ~ Mama to H (03/90) & I (06/92)--bothnocirc.gifbf.jpg BF for 35 consecutive months ~ angel1.gif x 4

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#328 of 391 Old 06-10-2010, 02:45 AM
 
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Beachlover, . I agree it's very encouraging that you've had so many recent BFPs and that you're ovulating regularly! Could it just be a numbers game, waiting for the healthiest egg to ripen?

Carfreemama, thanks for the wise and kind words. Milestones... I experienced another one today, when dd "graduated" from 3rd grade. I think I cried through the whole ceremony! These milestones can feel sooo bittersweet without another little one to go through them with over again.

Heathenmom, I also usually get cm when pg, and ewcm only when around o-time or af-time.

And speaking of ewcm, I definitely have more if it this cycle, and I'm taking 200mg of organic fermented soy isoflavones as an experiment. So it's possible the soy's estrogenic effect is changing/increasing my cm.

As for the OPKs, I've been using them for about 6 months and also find them to be a great adjunct to my charting. I've bought them online from http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/ but also Walgreen's has an affordable generic OPK (20 tests for about $12 I think). One word of caution, though... using OPKs alone can be misleading. I'm sure you know this, but you can have an LH surge without o'ing. So only the temp shift is a true indicator that you've actually o'd. In fact, I think this happened to me last month! (Of course, my RE's office doesn't trust BBT charts and goes only by my OPKs).

And speaking of tests... I heard about a very sensitive test (detects 10-15 hcg) available from http://www.webwomb.com/. I decided to give them a try this month, and just ordered some. I'll let you all know how it goes. It's still not a blood test, but it sounds like an improvement over the 25-50 hcg tests available in most drugstores.

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#329 of 391 Old 06-10-2010, 03:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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The tests from early-pregnancy-tests.com might be the same ones. I got a very, very faint line on one of their early pregnancy test strips when I had a chemical pregnancy in February. My HCG was 13.

treehugger.gifMama to DS (3/05 )carrot.gifh20homebirth.gif, wife to DH bikenew.gif, remembering rainbow1284.gifdog2.gifdog2.gif and angel1.gif Spirit 1/07, angel1.gif Hope 5/09, angel1.gif Harmony 6/10, angel1.gif Love 5/11, angel1.gif Joy 6/11
 

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#330 of 391 Old 06-10-2010, 08:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just posted in another thread and saw that I had 999 posts. So I wanted to come over to this thread for my 1000th post. Thank you dear women sharing support in this amazing journey with me.

And some special 1000th post baby dust and good wishes to all of us who come by here:

treehugger.gifMama to DS (3/05 )carrot.gifh20homebirth.gif, wife to DH bikenew.gif, remembering rainbow1284.gifdog2.gifdog2.gif and angel1.gif Spirit 1/07, angel1.gif Hope 5/09, angel1.gif Harmony 6/10, angel1.gif Love 5/11, angel1.gif Joy 6/11
 

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