Help-giving in on not using opks this month - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 04-23-2010, 11:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So......I am/was trying hard not to chart this month. I have not temped or used opks, but I know I am CD12. My plan was to BD every other day starting at CD10 and leave the rest alone. I am 43 and was getting very depressed trying to manipulate BDing according to opks and seeing BFN's starting at 6 dpo. I needed balance.

Here I am on CD12, getting EWCM and going crazy to use opks! I wanted this cycle to be low stress and I feel more stressed b/c I am just wondering what the opk "would" say. I know it doesn't really matter b/c we are BDing every other day, but I liked the certainty of them. This is not making me happier! But I don't know if I am just making excuses to cave on my agreement with myself not to chart this month.

I'm trying to tell myslef to hold out b/c it will make the 2ww less hard if I don't know exactly when I O'd. But who am I kidding? I'll still know when I O'd based on CM....maybe just not "for sure."

Has anyone given up the temping and opks for a month? How did it go? Was it better for you, mentally?

I thought I'd be able to let it all go...just BD every other day and see what happens. Not so much.

I don't know if I should just go dig out the opks and get it over with or try to hold out. I'm trying to figure out why I shouldn't use them--other than the fact I said I wouldn't. ; )

Anyone done this?

Dee
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#2 of 7 Old 04-23-2010, 11:47 AM
 
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I say use the OPK I took one month off of OPKs (still temping) and my temps around O were questionable... I spent the rest of the month wishing I had used OPKs so I would know where I was at!

Me (42) DH (43), Catholic Mom to DD (11), DS (6), DS (1)

Expecting #4 in May 2014

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#3 of 7 Old 04-23-2010, 11:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am starting to agree. I did this b/c I wanted low stress and balance. I have neither right now! There are some things I do need to change.

I need to not spend an hour of FF every morning when I should be getting school going. There is balance needed in this department. ; )

I need to not try to change our every other BD thing b/c of what an opk says. I tried to get DH to to 2 days in a row last month and it backfired (he's almost 49 ; ). That added a lot of stress and negativity.

I need to not start testing at 6 dpo (at least for this month). Last month, it really got to me for the first time.

As long as I can manage those things, I don't see the point in not doing the rest. Other than I said I would take this month off from it.

I'm coming to realize that its my total mindset that needs to be changed. I need to find some peace with the fact that I probably won't get a bfp this month (I'm 43) or maybe next month, or ever. My last baby might have been my last. I am working on getting that acceptance and peace. It, apparently, has nothing to do with whether or not I temp, use opks, etc. If I can grasp at least a bit of that acceptance, then the rest doesn't matter. I'm still working on that.

Still haven't dug those opks out.........but I want to.

Isn't there anyone who has done this and said it was GREAT?

Dee
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#4 of 7 Old 04-23-2010, 01:18 PM
 
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My mom's best friend just got a BFP last month. She's 46 this year and has been trying for her second for about, oh, 15 years or so? She said she finally broke down and started using the OPKs. She's super, super, super excited. The big brother will be 27 this year.

So I'd say as long as you can manage to keep a lid on the other stuff, go ahead with the OPK's. SO what if you said you wouldn't? You've changed your reasoning, and that's really the key thing.
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#5 of 7 Old 04-23-2010, 01:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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O.K., so I went ahead and did an opk. I feel better. Why, I don't know. It just feels like "doing something", KWIM?

It has a good line, which doesn't mean too much except I might be getting close. Which, of course I already knew based on CM and sore nips. But I think it will be more calming for me to know for sure....or almost as "for sure" as you can.

I really do need to chill and be accepting, though. I have to get in the mindset that just because you BD at the right time, you don't automatically get a bfp anymore. And, even if I get a bfp....doesn't mean I'll keep it. My m/c in Feb. has turned my initial excitement of being able to ttc again into more of a realistic mindset.

I still want to do what I can---while keeping balance. If I start worrying about comparing every opk and letting it affect my mindset, they're gone again.

Thanks for listening.

Dee
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#6 of 7 Old 04-24-2010, 03:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, I guess I'm glad I gave in. I was feeling unsure about Oing.....not a ton of CM, but some good. But no acne at all. That's weird. I figured I was still days away....but my nips hurt. So all signs are somewhat confusing.

I did an opk today b/c -- well, heck I had already done one yesterday. It was positive. So was this afternoon's. That's a shocker. So I'm glad I know. I have never had a positive opk this early, so it's good to know it can happen.

Maybe I'm just not cut out to be laid back. I'm such a control freak.....like somehow knowing that the opk is positive means I'm doing something. Strange. B/c we would have BD'd tonight anyway. But.....somehow it still makes me happy to know!

I still like feeling hopeful during this part of my cycle......now I just need to work on the other side of it--not feeling so down when af comes.

Dee
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#7 of 7 Old 04-25-2010, 10:45 AM
 
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I am glad you went with your gut. I am a control freak also and with my first I spent the frist 12 months not charting and trying to stay calm because that was what everyone told me to do. I started charting in March and got pregnant in june and even though it was very stressful to chart and test and BFN's it was still better than the unkown!!

Student Mother  and Wife hang.gif 29 married to DH 31 jammin.gif since 03 Zoe Elizabeth Jane 4.75 energy.gif and Jace Aaron Edward 12/12/11 babyboy.gif

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