Do you stop TTC to avoid b-days? - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-22-2010, 02:05 PM - Thread Starter
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So according to those online fertility calendars - if I get pg this next cycle my EDD would be DS's b-day!

I hate to wait another month but I can't imagine that DS would want to share his b-day or b-day parties with a little brother of sister.

If they were at least a week apart it might not be too bad but you never know, right? WWYD?

Wife to French hubby (8/02), Mama to DD (3/05) and DS (02/07) and (3/10)
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Old 05-22-2010, 02:33 PM
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Both my kids were early. The first was 4 weeks and the second 7 weeks. My dh and I were going to put off ttc until June or July so that we'd have a baby in the spring, since I'm a teacher.

After thinking and talking about it for a while, we realized there is no guarantee of anything...when I'll get pregnant, how my job will react, when the baby will actually arrive, etc. At my age (37) we decided it would be best not to waste time and just to begin trying.

We talked about what would happen if we are not still pregnant in November, since that would give me an August due date, right when school starts. I figure we'll cross that bridge when/if we come to it and right now we'll just do our best to try!

So few babies actually come on their due date. I think if you're comfortable with your children having the same birth month, I would go ahead and try.
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Old 05-22-2010, 02:39 PM
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I'm worse than that. I plan around astrological signs. I've avoided the three signs that are the least compatible with DH and I. Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration. I don't try nearly as hard on those months, and I err on the side of caution in trying for my little girl (cut off is 3 1/2 days before o, instead of 2 1/2) to make sure that if I have to put up with a child from a particularly stubborn sign, at least I'll be sure she's a girl! Besides, my careful planning may end up meaning very little, since DS was born 3 weeks early and ended up being a Cancer, instead of a Leo. Didn't matter between those, though. Geminis and Aries are fine with either

So, to answer you question, no, I don't think avoiding TTC to space b-days apart is bad. I also think it's fine to avoid the holiday season (a lot of people I know with December b-days hate the "this is both your birthday and Xmas present" thing) or trying to make sure your pregnancy isn't at a difficult point at a really uncomfortable season/event. I know women who planned to give birth a couple of months after a move so that they didn't have to juggle a newborn and packing. I have a friend who planned to give birth in fall/winter to maximize the amount of time she'd have before fitting into a bathing suit again!

Ultimately, it's up to you to decide if it's worth giving up a month of TTC for convenience. It's taken me so long that I'm pretty much trying hard every month now and throwing my concerns about compatible signs to the wind! Of course I say that now, because if I got preggo this month I'd have an Aquarius, and next month would be a Pisces. I'd be happy with either of those!

Good luck making your decision!

Sarah~ Crunchy, Wiccan, AP, Gemini mama who loves her amazing 3 year old little man and energetic DH. Learning to cope with the idea of a 2nd son.
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Old 05-22-2010, 02:41 PM
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nope - and I happen to have 4 kids who's birthdays are Feb 28th, March 15th, March 28th, and March 30th.

It's just how it worked out, and now that we have been TTC for going on two years, I realize there is no way to plan it out perfectly. Now watch, I finally get a BFP in a couple months with another March due date.

ETA: since babies don't tend to come on their due dates - I would say even if that is what happens, your DS likely won't have to share his special day.

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Old 05-22-2010, 05:39 PM
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I agree with drummer'swife, I really wanted to get pregnant at the begining of this year so our littles birth days would be seperate but then I started thinking to myself and even if they are on the same day it would be fine. At this point I would just be so happy to get pregnant I really do not care when the due date is. I actually have a birthday just a week seperate from my sister and I didn't care until I was about 10 but then when I hit 16 it didn't seem to matter anymore. More people came to the party since it was both of ours and now, being almost 30 its really nice because we just have one big party for everyone in June and its a blast and all the kids get to see each other. So the kiddo's might not be happy for a couple of years but that is only a fraction of their lives.

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Old 05-22-2010, 05:41 PM
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im only trying for 4 cycles this year, for 2 different astrological signs.

so no, i dont think its a crazy idea! lol

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Old 05-22-2010, 05:43 PM
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I came very close to not ttc in the month of Jan to prevent 2 Oct babies but then I thought ehh what are the odds

My dd was born Oct 6 and ds Oct 18 so apparently the odds where pretty darn high

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Old 05-22-2010, 06:43 PM
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nah. DD2 and DS had the same due date! they were born 5 days apart. didn't think it would happen that way, but it did and we are ok with it so far. better than no kid at all.

eta they were born 2 years and 5 days apart. lol.

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Old 05-22-2010, 07:00 PM
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I don't stop ttc for anything! I want a baby so badly I'll take whatever I can get for a birthday

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Old 05-22-2010, 07:37 PM
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I don't have anyone in my life close enough for it to matter. I would consider a baby born on my birthday or a big holiday as a present for me!

43 w/Emphysema - TTC from 2005 - 2013. 2 miscarriages in 2008. Good things do not come to those who wait.

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Old 05-22-2010, 09:22 PM
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At almost 39, I take no months off. And my kids would think it's cool to share a birthday month with a sibling. I have a friend who has two boys born exactly on the same day, three years apart (which also happens to by my dd2's bday), and they're fine with it.

Heather, Mama to DS(10) DD(7.5),DD(6)
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Old 05-22-2010, 11:54 PM
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Like the last poster, I'm 38.5 and am not taking a break from ttc for any reason. When I was trying for my son 4 years ago I avoided an April due date because it's a freakishly busy time at my work for the first 3 weeks or so. At this stage (age) and after two m/cs I'd be happy with any birthdate -- Christmas Day even. I share my Dec 30th birthday with my twin sister so it has never been separate from Christmas or my sister -- but it's a very small part of my life. And it's probably taught me valuable lessons of some kind not having the spotlight all to myself (hasn't it?).

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Karen (39), DH (40), DS (7/7/07), with three m/c (11/05, 10/09, 11/10), BFP for mid-November -- keeping fingers crossed!!
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Old 05-23-2010, 12:38 AM
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After this past year, hell no. We TTC and hope to heck that we get pregnant...

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Old 05-23-2010, 12:43 AM
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We discussed not TTC so I wasnt pregnant at our wedding... but obviously that went out the window as Im now 6 months along and we are getting married in 3 weeks from tomorrow! LOL

Otherwise, no. This baby is due right around my birthday... if I avoided birthdays we could never TTC!

This baby is also due right around when my loss was due... but that doesnt bother me.

TBH Im hoping baby gets MY birthday so I can stay 27 the rest of my life ... she can have the day for all i care!

Artist, photographer, stay-at-home-mom and Marine wife. Mom to 4; a boy and three little girls.
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Old 05-23-2010, 12:51 AM
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nope. i don't think sharing birthdays is a bad thing at all. however we don't do huge birthdays anyway.

mama to one '07 and one '09
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Old 05-23-2010, 01:07 AM
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I don't think there's anything wrong with it, but, no, we don't. TTC is now a year round thing, unfortunately.

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Old 05-23-2010, 09:40 PM
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I guess it feels to me like a pretty big luxury to be able to try to choose when the baby comes. Several friends of mine have timed their pregnancies perfectly to their plan. We don't though as it took us 6 years to conceive ds so we know it may not happen right away. I figure any time is fabulous time for a baby.

Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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Old 05-23-2010, 09:53 PM
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also... half of my dads kids were born in September (crazy right) and the other half were born between april and june...

so we do a big birthday thing every May and a big birthday thing every late September (dad and step-mom are both Octobers)

but thats NOW. When we were younger we all got seperate birthdays. I would get labor day weekend no matter when my birthday fell, my brother whos birthday is 5 days after mine would get the next weekend no matter when his birthday fell.

my son rarely has his birthday on the weekend so we only can celebrate the weekend before/after anyway (as I HATE to do a birthday party on a weeknight!)

and DD has a late June birthday so we usually mix her birthday with our 4th of July celebrations...

So really, the worst problem is if the kids end up with the same exact birthdate... and while that can happen, the risk of it is REALLY small. Otherwise... you dont have to celebrate on the exact day!

Artist, photographer, stay-at-home-mom and Marine wife. Mom to 4; a boy and three little girls.
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