family members - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 6 Old 09-11-2010, 07:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
mainemommy1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 274
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We have been TTC #2 for about 10months. My sister got pregnant on the first try and is currently pregnant. My Mom wants me to lend baby gear to my sister and both of them know of my TTC-for some reason this just hits a sensitive spot with me. I saved all that baby gear for MY baby-it was all items given to me for baby #1 or that I bought for baby#1. The fact that my mother gave some of the things to my child for birthday or holiday doesn't seem to justify that I have no choice in lending to my sister-apparently gifts with strings attached. I went through the roof emotionally when they first asked about the crib-I just feel sentimental about it-my child is now much older and comments from family such as, "Well then, I hope you get to use it some day" hurts especially since I would love another child but it's just not happening right now- and not for lack of trying. My sister has plenty of money-this is not a money issue. But I feel sad about it nonetheless. Now I am being asked about baby gear AFTER the crib incident.
on another note, I hate the comments, "Have you seen a real dr about the fact that you cannot get pregnant?" by family members. It makes me so upset. Unless you've tried for multiple months, then no one really understands-including family.
I just needed to vent. I just feel like now I am even more pressured to conceive.......
mainemommy1 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 6 Old 09-11-2010, 07:32 PM
 
Stevi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 3,897
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm sorry.

The suggestions that you loan out baby gear when they KNOW you are trying to conceive seems kind of cruel to me.

Family. Sigh.

43 w/Emphysema - TTC from 2005 - 2013. 2 miscarriages in 2008. Good things do not come to those who wait.

Stevi is offline  
#3 of 6 Old 09-11-2010, 07:32 PM
 
MaerynPearl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Hubert NC
Posts: 14,501
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)




During our 2 years trying (which our family did not actually know about) my step-mom tried getting me to give my brother my old baby stuff. My brother was only talking about starting to consider TTCing...

certainly did not make me a happy lady.

I think it is totally unreasonable in any situation for your mother to expect you to give your sister ANYTHING of yours, even if she gave it to you. Even if you were vocal about the fact that you are NOT TTC right now. It should be your choice to do it in the first place... not hers.

(I will say though, not telling my family we were TTC that entire time bit us in the back when I got pregnant and someone who had been trying for only three months got mad at ME for being super fertile. Seriously. Not cool.)

Artist, photographer, stay-at-home-mom and Marine wife. Mom to 4; a boy and three little girls.
MaerynPearl is offline  
#4 of 6 Old 09-11-2010, 10:00 PM
 
KaliShanti's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Lindale,TX
Posts: 2,284
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It took us almost a year of hardcore TTC to get pregnant with #2. And I didn't share with too many people we were TTC because it would have been too hard I think. Not sharing this time either now that we're TTC #3.

*hugs**

Jesus-loving Doula/Birth Photographer Mama to Tor 4/2007, Zion 11/2009, Enoch 11/2011, and Zephyr due 12/13/2013

KaliShanti is offline  
#5 of 6 Old 09-12-2010, 12:57 AM
 
nintendork's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Carrollton, TX
Posts: 1,016
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
that's a low blow on your mother and sister's part. Sounds like your family needs some sensitivity training, just reading your story has me totally ticked off. So sorry you are going through this mama.

Wife of the husbandit and mommy to the wonderful G-Mack, born 1/30/2011
 
nintendork is offline  
#6 of 6 Old 09-12-2010, 10:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
mainemommy1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 274
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
thanks everyone-your words make me feel less crazy and much better. I just told them to STOP asking and the response: "Well are you going to save everything forever?" UGH.....makes me very very sad. My sister has already purchased an entire wardrobe and nursery furniture that costs 10times what mine cost. She has the money. I am not sure if this is my mother asking or my sister asking but it's very annoying since most of the asking is coming from my mother. My mother said to me, "Well,that's just what you do for family-you share your things-what do you think she's going to ruin it?" My heart just aches and this always seems to happen the week I get AF-nevermind that I just dropped hundreds at the Naturopathic DR and acupuncturist this week for fertility purposes. My mom makes it seem like I am a horrible sister, not sharing, etc and they can't see my side-it's nice to be on MDC-thanks for your support.
mainemommy1 is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off