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#121 of 459 Old 12-10-2010, 09:19 PM
 
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#122 of 459 Old 12-11-2010, 05:10 AM
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hi ladies. I was hoping to have some good news this morning. CD 15 and bfn. I was so excited to test I woke up at 4:30 and could not get back to sleep. Maybe today will be CD. 1.

Mom to DS 12/07 and DD 11/13, plus a bunch of chickens, dogs, and cats.

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#123 of 459 Old 12-11-2010, 07:15 AM
 
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So sorry, rcr!

 

I am 4dpo and am already feeling crampy, even though I am on progesterone cream. I realize cramping can be normal and even good, but for me this seems to be a real problem. (And annoying as heck!)

 

On the happy note, I am more and more finding back my creative side and making Christmas presents and decorations with and without dd. It keeps my mind really positive. I am still reading adoption blogs and trying to think that maybe that will happen some years from now...

 


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#124 of 459 Old 12-11-2010, 07:21 AM
 
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hi ladies. I was hoping to have some good news this morning. CD 15 and bfn. I was so excited to test I woke up at 4:30 and could not get back to sleep. Maybe today will be CD. 1.


Sorry to hear that. Have you been feeling any AF symptoms?


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#125 of 459 Old 12-11-2010, 07:45 AM
 
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Kyamo (and everyone else who shared their IUI experience) - thank you for sharing the details of your IUI! It's good to know all the nitty-gritty details in advance. I like to be able to prepare for these things mentally, and we're thinking about an IUI in the spring (althought it won't solve our miscarrying problems, it's covered by health care here so if it speeds things up, what the hell).

 

rcr - Oh no! I have been silently rooting for you.  CD15 is still early though....

 

LTB - making Christmas presents sounds so nice and cozy! Enjoy your weekend. We're going to do some holiday baking today, and make some hot pepper jelly tomorrow. I love the holidays! (and the FOOD).  Since I have these extra pregnancy pounds, I might as well enjoy the fod for another month ;)

 

Nothing exciting to report here. CD who knows?  Still having bleeding from the miscarriage and starting to worry about needing a D&C. We have a follow-up appointment next week, so we'll see what transpires.  Trying to stay distracted with planning for my best friend's wedding and surrounded by pregnant people. Y'all know the drill.

 

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#126 of 459 Old 12-11-2010, 07:45 AM
 
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rcr--I'm sorry.  hug.gif  I'm 15 DPO, too, and didn't test this morning.  Just didn't want to see a negative.

 

Kyamo, lavatea, miriam, and Jane--Thanks for the input on the IUIs, all of you.  I do have a hard time with paps, and I'm not looking forward to IUIs.  The plan is tentatively to do one after this next cycle, depending on DH's new SA results.  I am just really upset about all this.  I think I'm just going to ignore the likelihood of IUI until it comes up.  DH's new SA results could be really great and we won't need to do IUI.  (Hey!  It could happen.  Theoretically.)  Or it could be so bad that we won't be able to do one, which is really terrible.  Anyway, thanks, and I'm feeling less horrible today than I did yesterday about the whole mess.  I think crying helped.  Which reminds me, I have become so ridiculous in the last year.  I never cried until recently, and in the last six months I've melted down about twice a month.  TTC is just hard, and is completely changing who I am and who I want to be.  Not necessarily for the worse, because it's probably good to be less emotionally bottled up.  It's just an adjustment.  A really big, really difficult-to-make adjustment.


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#127 of 459 Old 12-11-2010, 10:53 AM
 
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I went to type my post and wondered can I congratulate anyone today?  I hope to get to congratulate someone for a BFP here ASAP!

 

I am 8dpo and just hanging around and thought I'd say hello.  I have little faith that I will become PG these days.  I haven't really accepted that I definitely won't, though.  My BD timing is unusual this month with twice on my O day and nothing else for possible conception.  Hoping that's a good kind of different. 

 

I just realized that an entire year ago I was attending a Christmas concert in my TWW with enlarged tender breasts feeling very excited because I thought I was PG.  Sigh.

 

 


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#128 of 459 Old 12-11-2010, 06:12 PM
 
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#129 of 459 Old 12-12-2010, 05:25 AM
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CD 1 . And DS will be 3 this week, which means 2 years of ttc.

Mom to DS 12/07 and DD 11/13, plus a bunch of chickens, dogs, and cats.

Moving past many years of infertility and always thinking of my friends in the infertility forums.

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#130 of 459 Old 12-12-2010, 07:27 AM
 
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Originally Posted by rcr View Post

CD 1 . And DS will be 3 this week, which means 2 years of ttc.


hug2.gif

 

I was thinking about a similar thing just yesterday. We conceived DS just before Christmas 2006. At this point DS and any new baby will be at least 4 years apart - way farther apart than I had imagined or wanted. And it could be a year or more from here, you know. It's all just so depressing if I sit and analyze. I need to do better on relaxing and trusting God's timing. Pretty hard for a planner.

 

We've been TTC (in my case Trying To Carry) a baby for a year and a half now. bawling.gif How do you ladies that have been at it even longer stand it? This is killing me. (I've been really feeling sorry for myself this week.)


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#131 of 459 Old 12-12-2010, 08:56 AM
 
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I'm so sorry rcr.  2 years, that must be so hard.  


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#132 of 459 Old 12-12-2010, 08:58 AM
 
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I have a question for anyone who has been on progesterone suppositories.  If I am not pregnant, will my temp drop and I get my period as normal, or will the progesterone prevent either of those two things?  I do not want to get my hopes up if I have high temps or a late period, and it turns out it was just the progesterone.  

 


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#133 of 459 Old 12-12-2010, 09:47 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Kyamo View Post

I have a question for anyone who has been on progesterone suppositories.  If I am not pregnant, will my temp drop and I get my period as normal, or will the progesterone prevent either of those two things?  I do not want to get my hopes up if I have high temps or a late period, and it turns out it was just the progesterone.  

 

I am on the cream, but just asked this a couple of weeks ago. Your period will come, although possibly a day or two later. You just stop the progesterone when your period arrives.

 

Since we are comparing... hah... Dd will be 6 years old in 3 months. We have been TTC something like 3+ yrs.... or is it more, I have no idea. However, there was a rather long time in between that we had to abstain due to trying to find the right amount of thyroid meds. There was some adrenal fatique there, too, so had to be on hydrocortisone and then wean off of it. Anyway...it's been a long time...
 


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#134 of 459 Old 12-12-2010, 11:45 AM
 
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Hey, if you're doing IUIs you could probably also get some other testing done to see what's causing all the losses, I hope.

 

How long is it normal to bleed? I'd just be so freaked out about the whole thing :( :hug


In two weeks it'll be two years for us. We decided to start TTC on Christmas Day, 2008. I understand. :hug

 

I'm 5 dpo, just haaaaaanging out. Bored. I've been testing out the hCG in my system with OPKs, although I can't tell when it's officially negative. Whatever, I'm not testing for a while. I might test before my blood test next Monday, or not. We'll see.

 

MBA - I've actually had very extensive testing for recurring miscarriages. I started pushing for it after Number 2.  The docs have been able to find absolutely no reason for it. My hormones are perfect, uterus is lovely, health is great, insulin and blood sugar wonderful. We have nothing to work with. My next project is to gather up all the test results from three different docs, go through them with a fine-toothed comb and try to figure out whether they have missed any potential tests. I am also going to begin testing for some of the more 'outside the envelope' stuff like gluten sensitivity, cortisol levels, mould in our home. I'm going to install water filters to filter out the trihalomethanes in our water, and start Reiki or hypnosis. Grasping at straws? You bet! But there's nothing else left to do, and what have we got to lose???

 

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CD 1 . And DS will be 3 this week, which means 2 years of ttc.


Rcr - right there with you. We started trying in Dec. 2008.



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I was thinking about a similar thing just yesterday. We conceived DS just before Christmas 2006. At this point DS and any new baby will be at least 4 years apart - way farther apart than I had imagined or wanted. And it could be a year or more from here, you know. It's all just so depressing if I sit and analyze. I need to do better on relaxing and trusting God's timing. Pretty hard for a planner.

 

We've been TTC (in my case Trying To Carry) a baby for a year and a half now. bawling.gif How do you ladies that have been at it even longer stand it? This is killing me. (I've been really feeling sorry for myself this week.)

 

Lavatea - I'm sorry you are having a crappy week. The good thing (ha! Is there really a 'good thing'?) about TTC is that you just start getting used to it after a while. It just becomes your way of being. But I guess there's a point when you have to let go of that way of being 'cause it's a pretty crappy way to live your life.
 

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I have a question for anyone who has been on progesterone suppositories.  If I am not pregnant, will my temp drop and I get my period as normal, or will the progesterone prevent either of those two things?  I do not want to get my hopes up if I have high temps or a late period, and it turns out it was just the progesterone.  

 


Kyamo - the recurrent miscarriage clinic has me on progesterone after O each cycle, but I am supposed to get a pregnancy test the day AF is expected, so I can stop taking the progesterone asap if I am not pregnant.  I assume progesterone would delay your period, but I'm no expert.  A question for you: when do you start taking the progesterone? Do you use an OPK or temps to determine when you ovulate and just start right afterwards? We've been told to start 72 hours after O, and they don't recommend monitoring with OPKs or a fertility monitor, just counting the days. But I think my cycle has too much variation for this to work.



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Since we are comparing... hah... Dd will be 6 years old in 3 months. We have been TTC something like 3+ yrs.... or is it more, I have no idea. However, there was a rather long time in between that we had to abstain due to trying to find the right amount of thyroid meds. There was some adrenal fatique there, too, so had to be on hydrocortisone and then wean off of it. Anyway...it's been a long time...
 


LTB - Our DS will be 6 or older if we ever manage to carry another baby to term.  I had hoped for kids around 3 years apart. Do you find you are able to just let go of the age difference thing? I',m starting to care less. I mean, what can I do at this point? It is so totally and completely out of my control.

 

AFM: Just made some hot pepper jelly with friends and had a lovely time. At least Christmas is a bit of a TTC diversion (unless you feel extra pressure from family at this time)....
 

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#135 of 459 Old 12-12-2010, 11:57 AM
 
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MBA - Oh, and to address the bleeding after miscarriage thing: apparently two weeks should be fine, but after that you should see a doc. I've just started having cramps again today and am really starting to panic about needing a D&C. Have any of you had a similar experience (miscarriage that just didn't seem to end, followed by a need for intervention)? Rcr - Yours just never really got started on its own, right?
 

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#136 of 459 Old 12-12-2010, 12:28 PM
 
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#137 of 459 Old 12-12-2010, 03:51 PM
 
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Quote:
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I have a question for anyone who has been on progesterone suppositories.  If I am not pregnant, will my temp drop and I get my period as normal, or will the progesterone prevent either of those two things?  I do not want to get my hopes up if I have high temps or a late period, and it turns out it was just the progesterone.  

 


Kyamo - the recurrent miscarriage clinic has me on progesterone after O each cycle, but I am supposed to get a pregnancy test the day AF is expected, so I can stop taking the progesterone asap if I am not pregnant.  I assume progesterone would delay your period, but I'm no expert.  A question for you: when do you start taking the progesterone? Do you use an OPK or temps to determine when you ovulate and just start right afterwards? We've been told to start 72 hours after O, and they don't recommend monitoring with OPKs or a fertility monitor, just counting the days. But I think my cycle has too much variation for this to work.

 

Collieflower - They have scheduled my pregnancy test for Friday, but my period would normally be due on Wednesday, so that is why I am asking.  Did your temp drop at all?  As for when to start it, my instructions were to start the evening of the same day as the IUI, and continue until I get a negative blood test.  There was no estimating O date, since I was triggered.


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#138 of 459 Old 12-12-2010, 08:24 PM
 
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#139 of 459 Old 12-12-2010, 09:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I love my husband! 

 

Some guy at work was saying something about vacations, I think?  Anyway:

 

Random Coworker: Who cares?  It's not like you have kids or anything.

Awesome Husband: Yeah, it's not like we haven't been trying to two years, asshole!  Thanks for nothing!


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After 4 m/c, our stillheart.gif is here!

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#140 of 459 Old 12-13-2010, 08:45 AM
 
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Hi Ladies.  rcr, hug2.gif mama.  Those were some really promising symptoms!

 

Sorry to come back here with some bad news, but you know, the BSL will always be there for those who need it (unfortunately.  Why can't every woman who desires a child be able to get pregnancy easily?  We're such an infertile species...)

 

Anyway, I went in for 6w3d ultrasound on Friday and I have what appears to be an empty sac.  No yolk, no "pole" or heartbeat.  And measuring about 4-5 days behind.  And right beside it, a big "bleed" which looked like a big blob on the screen.  Obviously, we're pretty devastated.  Doc gave us a 90% chance of miscarrying.  Even if the sac shows a healthy baby on Thursday (which is my followup ultrasound), I think the bleed might also be a big problem.  I go back and forth between being horribly sad, to being hopeful about next round.  We'll have to wait two months to try again with a Frozen Embryo Transfer.  Two months seems like forever.  Now I'm simply hoping for a baby in 2012...

 

So, right now I am just hanging out in depressed limbo.  No spotting or bleeding.  Occational cramping but not worse than AF cramping.  I am still on my progesterone.  After Thursday, assuming the worst, I'll talk to the doc about D&C or that pill.  I lean towards D&C because I don't want to be at work and start, or on a plane, or on Christmas morning at the in-laws house.  It's very scary to me.  But scheduling is probably going to be a problem since we're traveling next week for Christmas.  Spending the holidays with a failed pregnancy inside me is something that will be hard for me.


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#141 of 459 Old 12-13-2010, 08:45 AM
 
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#142 of 459 Old 12-13-2010, 09:17 AM
 
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MAURINE.... I am so very sorry! I will be thinking of you and praying for you. I still want to hope, though. I guess it depends of how you look at these things. I would think of you still cradling your tiny baby, instead of a "failed pregnancy." But I do realize different things help different people.

 

Jane, I would never say something like that but I really wish I could. Way to go, Jane's dh. I would like to know how the other guy reacted to that. (An apolozy would be the way to go but somehow I doubt that took place.)

 

Collieflower, I know exactly what you mean. My sister and I are almost 5 yrs apart and I hated that, as we lived such separate lives. (Think of a 15 yo teenager and a 10 yo sister...) We did become closer, but not until we were both in our teens. So, for me it was REALLY HARD when I realized that dd and her sibling would be close to that spacing and when it became evident the spacing would be even more, that was awful. However, since then I have had to accept it and look at it differently. Instead of when, it bacame IF. You know.. that I would feel so blessed, no matter what the spacing.

 

So, yes, some time after that 5 year mark it became easier and the spacing stopped being a daily thought. Now it just hits me every once in a while, really badly... That the years really have gone by so fast and that now a closer spacing is not possible anymore. (Somehow my brain refuses to get that and hopes to back in time or something.) Having a child who is 7 or older when (if) the second child is born was not supposed to be me! It is a terrible thought. And yet, there is nothing I can do about it.

 

The most difficult thing about this to me is that there are plenty of women who are able to have only the kids they want.... I would want so many... you know... I love kids and could never imagine saying I was done after 2 or 3 and so on. And yet, here I am. Infertility is not interested in how much you love kids or that you have arranged your whole life aruond being home and homeschooling and all that. This is my reality and I am forced to deal with it and to look for thew positive in every day.

 

All this suffering would make sense to me if it was to prepare me to adopt with a glad heart, without feeling that it is a 2nd best choice. I really feel so much peace in that. And, yet, the more I research, the more it seems that it is not possible for a loooooong time. My country has crazy rules!

 

Thinking of you all!


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#143 of 459 Old 12-13-2010, 09:31 AM
 
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Maurine I'm so sorry. hug2.gif


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#144 of 459 Old 12-13-2010, 09:42 AM
 
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Oh Maurine!

 

This is just TERRIBLE!  I am so sorry for you.  And depressed.  I can't begin to imagine how devastating this must be.  I am so sorry.

 

Dr Jenger's prescription: Wine and dark chocolate. 

 

Do you like your in-laws?  Do they know, are they understanding?  If the answer is no to any of these questions, can you stay home and be in your safe dark bubble instead of going to be fake-merry?


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#145 of 459 Old 12-13-2010, 09:50 AM
 
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Oh Maurine!

 

This is just TERRIBLE!  I am so sorry for you.  And depressed.  I can't begin to imagine how devastating this must be.  I am so sorry.

 

Dr Jenger's prescription: Wine and dark chocolate. 

 

Do you like your in-laws?  Do they know, are they understanding?  If the answer is no to any of these questions, can you stay home and be in your safe dark bubble instead of going to be fake-merry?



Thanks, ladies for the support and hugs.  I do like my inlaws, and they do know and are supportive.  Although everyone seems uncomfortable with how to react a bit.  I am allowing myself a 2% chance of hope that things will work out, but if they don't, I would be scared to go through a miscarriage in someone else's home.  I just don't know...


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#146 of 459 Old 12-13-2010, 09:51 AM
 
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I am so sorry, Maurine.  hug2.gif  What a long bumpy journey!  I hope for that 10% chance baby, but am also glad you have the option to do IVF again.

 

I am having a sad day and feeling sad for all of you and myself that we have all had such long waits, cycle after cycle after cycle.  I guess the only reason we can "handle it" is because we have no choice.  Time keeps passing.

 

 gloomy.gif 

 

I have been so awfully, rotten mean today with my family--probably a little PMS.  I am near the end of another cycle but it feels like DPO hardly even matters.  That just make it seem like I could actually be PG.  I'm just going to start being depressed about AF before it happens.  Positive thinking?  BTDT, and what have I got to show for it?

 

I feel guilty since some ladies here are trying for #1 or #2 when I have already been blessed with 4.  Still, my youngest will be turning 9 years old next fall.  We were hoping for two more little ones, spaced close together, but that just doesn't seem to be in the cards for us.


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#147 of 459 Old 12-13-2010, 10:40 AM
 
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Maurine, I am so very sorry. This whole journey is just so unfair. greensad.gif

 

I'll have a pity party for the both of us today. My car died this morning due to unknown reasons forcing me to cancel my infertility appointment. I am crushed. And instead of being productive today and possibly getting a baby making game plan, I'm going to mope around in my pjs (which I changed back into when I got home), have myself a Buffy marathon, drink way too much hot chocolate and maybe do a little bit of cleaning.


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#148 of 459 Old 12-13-2010, 10:53 AM
 
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Oh Maurine! I am so, so sorry to hear this, and so sad for you.  Of course I am holding out hope that things look better on Thursday, but if not, you've always got a place to 'talk'.  Are you off work at the moment? I hope you are able to just chill out and take it easy.

 

I've done miscarriages the natural way, and with the pill, so I am happy to answer any questions you might have about the pill.  My experience with the pill was that it was over with very quickly (within 4-5 hours).

 

Awww, this just sucks. I'm mad at the world about this.

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#149 of 459 Old 12-13-2010, 11:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by collieflower View Post

MBA - Oh, and to address the bleeding after miscarriage thing: apparently two weeks should be fine, but after that you should see a doc. I've just started having cramps again today and am really starting to panic about needing a D&C. Have any of you had a similar experience (miscarriage that just didn't seem to end, followed by a need for intervention)? Rcr - Yours just never really got started on its own, right?
 



No, mine never got started on its own. I had a D&C after waiting for 4 weeks for it to start. I had some bleeding for a week (like a normal period), when I was 6 weeks 1 day along, which is why I went in for the u/s, and they found a sac, no pole. Then the bleeding stopped, but the sac was still there, and I waited for 3 1/2 weeks and could not stand it anymore, so I got the D&C. The pill thing scared me more than the D&C did, for some reason. After the D&C I did not really bleed at all, and then about a week later I started bleeding for about 5 days, and then it stopped. A month later (almost exactly), I got my period, but it was really really heavy. In fact, it has been heavier every since, and I have had 3 periods since the D&C.



Quote:
Originally Posted by miriam_bat_avraham View Post

So many of us have been trying for so long... ugh. So many missed opportunities, disappointments, losses and lost time.

 

I would love to see the next few months move us all to DDCs and the Graduates Thread. Crossing everything that it happens.

 

Are you ladies making new year's resolutions? I don't usually do it formally, but I like thinking about approaching the new year (and MY new year, since my birthday is a few days into January!) with some goals. This year, my goals are

 

1) get pregnant (ha ha)

2) learn how to enjoy poetry, which I've always largely ignored or been bored by

3) get my house organized and finally finish putting things into tubs in the basement

4) lose weight, or gain it because of baby

5) make everything feel simpler. get up early enough to have a nice breakfast, own less stuff, take time to take a bath and relax

6) continue belly dance and get better at it 

 

 

What are yours?


I don't know. Get pregnant, or start to pursue adoption if I am not pregnant by March (when I turn 37). Find the money for adoption. Nothing else seems to matter right now. I guess getting tenure would be nice too :)

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by Maurine View Post

 

 

Sorry to come back here with some bad news, but you know, the BSL will always be there for those who need it (unfortunately.  Why can't every woman who desires a child be able to get pregnancy easily?  We're such an infertile species...)

 

Anyway, I went in for 6w3d ultrasound on Friday and I have what appears to be an empty sac.  No yolk, no "pole" or heartbeat.  And measuring about 4-5 days behind.  And right beside it, a big "bleed" which looked like a big blob on the screen.  Obviously, we're pretty devastated.  Doc gave us a 90% chance of miscarrying.  Even if the sac shows a healthy baby on Thursday (which is my followup ultrasound), I think the bleed might also be a big problem.  I go back and forth between being horribly sad, to being hopeful about next round.  We'll have to wait two months to try again with a Frozen Embryo Transfer.  Two months seems like forever.  Now I'm simply hoping for a baby in 2012...

 

So, right now I am just hanging out in depressed limbo.  No spotting or bleeding.  Occational cramping but not worse than AF cramping.  I am still on my progesterone.  After Thursday, assuming the worst, I'll talk to the doc about D&C or that pill.  I lean towards D&C because I don't want to be at work and start, or on a plane, or on Christmas morning at the in-laws house.  It's very scary to me.  But scheduling is probably going to be a problem since we're traveling next week for Christmas.  Spending the holidays with a failed pregnancy inside me is something that will be hard for me.



 


Marrine. My heart just dropped when I read this. I can't express how sorry I am for you. I was so happy when you got your bfp. What exactly is the "bleed" thing? I have never heard of that. Did it come from the sac? I wish you could just be happily pregnant now. I am so so very sorry. I wish there was something that I could do or say.


Mom to DS 12/07 and DD 11/13, plus a bunch of chickens, dogs, and cats.

Moving past many years of infertility and always thinking of my friends in the infertility forums.

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#150 of 459 Old 12-13-2010, 12:58 PM
 
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oh no no no Maurine.  I am devastated for you. That is just so unfair. I can't imagine how heartbroken you're feeling. Please know we're all here for you.

 

I too will be holding out hope, but I still understand that no matter what ends up happening, that kind of news is still so devastating.

 

I'll be thinking of you today and sending you thoughts of strength.


My husband and I are trying to conceive again, while missing our beautiful daughter who was stillborn Jan. 2010
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