I am here reading. I've been too sad to be contributing. But then I feel it's better to say a little something than nothing.
I saw the RE and regular endocrinologist in the past week and they both really feel I need to go on hormone replacement therapy. The menopause is real. The RE said actually most of her POI (premature ovarian insufficiency) patients who have gotten pregnant were on HRT ironically. I am afraid to go on HRT. I am also afraid to keep dreaming that I will beat these odds. I feel as if I am in very deep denial about being in menopause. I am trying to tell a couple of people in my life to make it more real to my brain I guess. The early bone loss and less than five periods in five years, how can I ignore this?
I cling to the happiness and cry over the sadness reported. I will keep trying harder to be more present. This is such a remarkable group.
Jess (Boozheemama), I am so sorry to hear this. Gosh, I know I would feel just like you do if I'd been given the same news.
Forgive me, if I don't remember all your details, do you have children ? How old is your youngest? How long have you been ttc? 40 seems so early for menopause. Have you thought about acupuncture? Would/could you do donor egg?
Waturmama, it is a relief to hear that I'm not the only one with a "reluctant" partner, when it comes to ttc. As well as the sadness I also carry some guilt, I wonder if I should stop being "spiritual" about all this, stop listening to my intuition and heart and listen to my head which says I should just enjoy what I have (which I do) and go on birth control and honor my DH's desire to stop ttc. But then I feel I would not be being authentic at all. And after my BIL died a few years ago I made a decision to live with integrity and truth as much as possible. I even dreamt his morning that I should not leave my son alone - I read this to mean he needs a sibling for company.He has older sibs, but they are so much older, I dearly want him to have a playmate and ally.
I wish it wasn't so hard, but then it wouldn't be worthwhile I suppose?
Who is doing the Paleo way of eating? Can you tell me a bit about what sorts of things you'd eat for snacks? Now that I have given up sugar I don't eat very much fruit, I've been eating about 1 serve a day, and sticking to low sugar fruit like berries and kiwi fruit. I seem to be eating quite a lot of full fat dairy - yoghurt, cottage cheese, cheese and cream. I wonder if I am having too much - but then I hear from some sources it is good for fertility. I guess I should try to snack on vegies, but i don't find it very convenient.
I have to say that I feel really good on the sugar free diet. I've lost a little weight, but not much, but that's not why I'm doing it- it has really helped my energy levels, less pre-menstrual symptoms, no more bloating, no midday slump etc. It's great, and mostly not too challenging.
Purplefish, how are you doing? I have been thinking of you.
I'm praying/asking the universe for wonderful fertile things to happen to us all! May we all have bfp's and strong healthy pregnancies by the end of this year. It's funny, I really though I'd birth a baby in 2011 - it doesn't look likely now, unless I get pregnant this cycle and deliver early. I'll settle for a 2011 pregnancy though.
Gumblossom, thank you so much for your honest and heartfelt posts. I so appreciate them. I've been laying low for a while because I am in a similar situation, as DH is reluctant to ttc. I struggle with this very strong desire for another child and the feeling that there is someone out there meant for our family, like we are just not complete yet. On the other hand is the desire to respect DH's wishes. DH was reluctant to ttc each of our 3 children, yet he is the most wonderful father...he adores them and they adore him. (I wish I had a dad like him!) I know he gets so worried with the financial responsibilities, that being his main reason for not wanting more children. But that's just something that I've never worried about. As long as we have a roof and some food, we have plenty. So that leaves us in limbo, not really ttc wholeheartedly, and not tta. I wish I could just say, OK, we're done. But I feel so much like you do...if I say that, I am not being my authentic self.
And I, too, am a huge fan of sugar, but you have inspired me. So, on the eve of my 41st birthday, I am giving up sugar!
Goodnight to all!
Boozheemamayou might be interested in reading some of Susun Weeds books. In one of her books she talks about women in their fifties having periods again in their fifties due to drinking nettle infusions. I will try to find the exact details......
A woman at one of Susun's workshop had a child at 53 three years after last period. Book talks about menses returning to even wome in 60s by drinking nettle infusions.
Also talks about natural and herbal remedies for sources of calcium to deal with bone loss.
The style of the books is a bit strange but I really like them.
I have come to a strange acceptance that it wasn't time for this little one yet though sometimes I feel brief waves of guilt and sadness. I felt certain this little one was going to happen and almost planning next summer with my baby. Last time I was so nervous and bought nothing, this time I had just opened my amazon parcel with pregnancy exercises dvds/books. Not sure whether I will want to use them next time or not.
I'm not sure whether I'm in denial or not but I seem to viewing this as a birth process rather than the more technical miscarriage. Practicing all my active birth positions and wii dancing seems to be helping. This feels like a learning process.
Already wondering how long it will be before I ovulate again. Do I ovulate before my next period and how long is that likely to be.
In terms of dh's committment to ttc. With this little one I did railroad him into ttc a bit and I was worried that if I miscarried he wouldn't want to try again. So pleased that he wants to try again.
I haven't eaten chocolate in months. But just treated myself to half a bar of beautiful dark orange chocolate.
Hi Purplefish - you have a lovely way of looking at your miscarriage, and to see it as a birth process is so beautiful. I sometimes regret my decision to go ahead with the D&C and wish I had birthed the baby instead, but somehow I couldn't do it.
I'm interested in the nettle infusions. I have ordered some organic nettles, and read that Susan Weed believes it should be drunk as an infusion rather than tea.
Have you done infusions? It will be new to me, not sure I'll enjoy the flavour, but I'll do it if it helps get me pregnant! How many cups should I drink everyday?
I am glad your DH wants to try again, Purplefish. And I hope you enjoyed that dark chocolate. I have heard it's very good after miscarrying (is it high in iron?)
I'm excited to hear you have given up sugar Lovestolaugh. If you are interested you can read about my struggles and excitement on my blog:http://www.angieathome.blogspot.com/
Susun definitely recommends drinking as infusions. The measures are 1 onze of nettle per quart. I think this works out at 1 onze per litre as quart seems to be near to a litre.
The infusions are much more powerful than the tea. I drink about 2 cups a day or almost the full litre. I tend to drink it only every other day as otherwise I go off the taste. The taste isn't so bad if you don't drink too much but I prefer to drink it when its slightly warm rather than hot or cold.
Definitely much prefer chocolate for my iron to brocolli.
purplefish when I was having my m/c I remember talking to my homebirth midwife about dealing with the pain and saying something like I think the emotional pain was making the physical pain more difficult to deal with, I was hoping for a home birth not this. And she reframed it for me saying you are having a homebirth in a way. that helped me reframe it and I was able to focus on that. Good for you that you are able to put it in perspective. TCM can help if your hormones get out of whack. I went through a period where my hormones were out of balance and my moods were crazy TCM evened them out and I was no longer acting and feeling like a loon.
gumblossom -- I have one child, he is almost 8. This early menopause is caused by a treatment I had for my lymphoma 5.5 years ago. Without regular periods, I hesitate to use the term TTC, however we have never avoided with bc of any kind all this time. I have had acupuncture in the past to help my immunity a couple of years ago. The treatment destroyed my bone marrow for several years. It helped quite a bit, but I haven't pursued it for fertility. The RE said I was an excellent candidate for a donor egg. My dh and I are not sure, we haven't talked about it in depth. I've tried to give it some thought. It is a lot to wrap my head around. Thinking about my son as an only forever really brings me to the depth of my sadness, I feel as you do about that idea. I really wish for him to have a sibling. When he was five, we went to pick out a new pair of pajamas. Out of all the choices, he picked the set that had "big brother" on it. I didn't have the heart to say no, he wanted them so badly. But those pajamas slayed me a little every single day that he wore them. I'm going to check out your blog, I don't eat a lot of treats overall but I cannot give up pasta & bread. I just don't know. I know less sugar is best. You're awesome!
purplefish -- You have a strength that I admire from reading your posts. I am very this pregnancy didn't stick. You have an amazing attitude. Thank you for the links & book recommendations. I am really wanting to find a good way to get my calcium up. I don't even know what nettle infusions are, I am interested. The stories you shared are amazing to me.
LitMama -- Thank you for sharing your story with me. I love that you actually cried at the edge of the Pacific ocean. That is such a beautiful image for me. I love that at the end, peace flowed instead of tears. I'm so inspired by you. I also need the reminder that tests and statistics are not perfect and there are mysteries in our bodies. I should know that with my spontaneous remission, but somehow I forget. The RE told me lowering my FSH is not the challenge. It was my AMH numbers that really determined things for me. My AMH was <0.10, less than the lowest range of 0.0 to <0.3. My LH was 33.9, estradiol was 34.5 and FSH was 39.7, however she kept emphasizing over and over that FSH doesn't say much and AMH is much more valuable number.
I have been researching iodine supplementation and ran into this post thought I would share, it's not specifically related to iodine except that flouride replaces iodine in the body and fluoride is everywhere, anyway I thought I would share.
Surefire Ways to Reduce Your Fertility
Toxins in our environment -- in our food, air, water, toiletries and homes -- are slowly but surely invading our bodies and wreaking havoc. Among the many delicate systems that are being harmed by environmental chemicals is the reproductive system, and our very fertility may be at stake.
Only about 5 percent of all the chemicals used in the United States have ever been tested to see how they impact the human reproductive system, so know one knows for sure the extent of the damage.
What is known is that low levels of toxins can produce serious effects, not only in your own children but also in your future grandchildren’s children. Some of the toxins that are known to affect fertility include:
* Methoxychlor (MCX): A common pesticide that reduces the ability of the uterus to support embryo implantation.
* Kepone, DBCP and ethylene dibromide: Pesticides that have been found to reduce sperm counts.
* MSG: A food additive that’s been linked to reduced fertility.
* Phthalates: Chemicals used in toiletries and cosmetics that can cause low sperm counts, damaged or absent testicles, absent prostate glands, and premature breast development in girls.
* Fluoride: This chemical in the U.S. water supply has been linked to lower fertility rates, hormone disruption and low sperm counts.
and this excerpt from the iodine thread:
If you have or are having difficulty becoming pregnant, chances are pretty good that iodine deficiency is your culprit. Your whole body needs iodine and the highest concentrations can be found in your uterus and ovaries among others. Hypothyroidism A.K.A. Iodine deficiency can cause menstrual irregularities, decreased sex drive, miscarriage, failure to ovulate, premature childbirth and pre-eclampsia. Some women experience an autoimmune version of hypothyroidism in which their bodies are producing killer cells which attacks their own tissues (including their own thyroid or an embryo). Though Iodine is the number one supplement it works synergistically with other vitamins, minerals and nutrients. The consequences of not resolving your deficiencies is the likeliness that you will not be able to maintain a pregnancy without treatment.
Deficiency of iodine seems to cause more damage in developing embryos and in fact, in pregnant women iodine deficiency causes abortions and stillborns. It is not cretinism alone that holds risks from deficiency, but the very survival of the infant itself. Adequate iodine may also provide protection from infection and vaccine damage. In a study done on 617 infants between the ages of 6 weeks and six months, in an iodine deficient area, it was shown that with the addition of 100 mg of iodine oil to the diet of newborns, that the death rate of infants was markedly lower than for those without any supplementation.
Hypothyroidism is a common cause of infertility in women and incompetent sperm in men. Many childless couples have the misfortune to be hypothyroid (one or both partners) and yet not have an abnormal lab value (T3 or T4 test) to convince the doctor to prescribe thyroid replacement therapy.
Disturbed Menstrual Flow
Another common symptom of hypothyroidism is dysfunction of the female cycle. In children, the onset of menses may be delayed or, paradoxically, it may come years early with hypothyroidism. At the other end, menopause may happen much too early or much too late. During childbearing years the menstrual cycle may be upset in just about any pattern imaginable. The most common condition is that of irregular bleeding. The lining of the uterus, the endometrium, just like other tissues in the body, requires thyroid hormone for proper growth and function.
Iodine during pregnancy is so much more important than anything else. Severe iodine deficiency in a mother's diet during pregnancy increases the risk of miscarriage and stillbirth. If the baby survives to term, it is likely to suffer irreversible mental retardation. This is known as cretinism and is a major cause of preventable intellectual impairment in low iodine areas. Mildly iodine-deficient children have learning disabilities and poor motivation. The developing fetus, newborn and young children are most susceptible to the effects of an iodine- deficient diet, and treatment before conception or in early pregnancy is essential to prevent irreversible damage. Breast milk contains more iodine than formula milk and premature babies who are formula-fed may be at risk of deficiency.
In newborns, iodine deficiency causes cretinism (neonatal hypothyroidism), which is characterized by jaundice, poor appetite, constipation, a hoarse cry, outpouching of the navel (umbilical hernia), and slowed bone growth. If not diagnosed and treated within a few months of birth, iodine deficiency results in mental retardation. Iodine deficiency that begins in childhood (juvenile hypothyroidism) slows growth, sometimes resulting in disproportionately short limbs as well as delayed development of teeth.
Ideally one would achieve full body sufficiency of not just Iodine but all other vitamins and mineral prior to trying to conceive, However, if you are already pregnant congratulations!) there is more to it than pop an iodine pill. The whole point is to encourage you to be more active in your health care, and that means giving you the pros and cons so that you can make an informed decision. Because iodine pushes out heavy metals some will cross the placenta and affect your unborn baby, although it will anyways because your body naturally does this, the iodine increases the amount excreted. However, the iodine your child receives is beneficial in helping their bodies excrete toxic metals as well, as you can read below, any risks are far outweighed by the benefits of iodine supplementation. I have yet to find any cons when it comes to supplementation during pregnancy or bfing, if I do find anything I will post it.
"Growth and development of 207 children (49% males; mean age 5.4 years [SD 0.2], range 4 to 7.3 years whose mothers received iodine during pregnancy, and children who received iodine first in their 2nd year, were examined in 1996; 192 children (49% males; mean age 6.5 years[SD 0.2], range 5.8 to 6.9 years) whose mothers received iodine while pregnant were seen in 1998. Children were from the southern part of China's Xinjiang Province which has the lowest levels of iodine in water and soil ever recorded. Head circumference but not height was improved for those who received iodine during pregnancy (compared with those receiving iodine at age 2) and for those supplemented before the end of the 2nd trimester (relative to those supplemented during the 3rd trimester). Iodine before the 3rd trimester predicted higher psychomotor test scores for children relative to those provided iodine later in pregnancy or at 2 years. Results from the test for cognitive development resulted in trend only differences between those children supplemented during pregnancy versus later."
"Iodine prophylaxis given before or during pregnancy has resulted in improved cognitive functioning in offspring in Ecuador"
"The literature search revealed that 60 million mainland Japanese consume a daily average of 13.8 mg of elemental iodine and they are one of the healthiest nations, based on overall wellbeing and cancer statistics (4). Japanese women do not stop consuming iodine-rich foods during pregnancy, and Japanese fetuses are exposed to maternal peripheral levels of iodide at concentrations of 10-5M to 10-6M (1-4). Either the Japanese are mutants, capable of striving on toxic levels of iodine or we have been grossly deceived, and the human body needs at least 100 times the RDA, which was established very recently in 1980 and confirmed in 1989!! (7)"
It affects animals in the same way!
"The results demonstrated that iodine supplementation restores fertility of sheep living in iodine deficient areas and may represent a means to achieve a silent iodine prophylaxis of local populations."
Anderson’s ‘LSD file’ holds a pile of research papers (mainly international) linking iodine, vitamin E and selenium with better immune responses and lamb survival when given pre-lambing. Research covers sheep and cows, even American buffalo and Awassi sheep.
There is also research on the benefits of selenium and iodine given pre-tuppping. For example, ewes given 50mg of selenium three weeks before mating had heavier twin lambs. The lambs also had a ‘boosted’ immune system (levels of glutathione peroxidase).
In another trial, iodine deficient ewes were given a ‘hefty’ 480mg dose of iodine pre-tupping and had a radically improved lambing percentage. In this overseas trial, the ewes achieved 100% vs only 37% for non-supplemented ewes (Ferris, 2003).
"Iodine supplementation (20 mg KI twice weekly) to ewes during the last month of pregnancy and the first 3 months of lactation increased productivity. Production traits enhanced by this treatment included the birth weight (3.9 vs 3.5 kg; P < 0.01), survival (84% vs 64 %), growth rate (P < 0.05), and mature SIP wool follicle ratio of lambs (1 4.9 ¦ 1.2 vs 10.3 ¦ 1.6). "
Wow, Kristin! Thanks for all the research...you've given me lots of things to look into!
Purplefish, you amaze me with your strength and positive attitude. You are really inspiring!
Well, Gumblossom...it's more difficult to give up sugar than I thought. I really thought I'd start out this new year of life sugar free (turned 41 on Sat) but we spent the weekend driving 7 hours each way to a doctor appt for DS2...so hard not to have the sweets when everyone else in the car is having them! We do this trip 1x/month, so I'll have to come up with some useful strategies! DS2 has an immune system disorder and severe allergies...since I'm nursing him, I am on a very restricted diet...no wheat, dairy, fish, shellfish, eggs, beef, chicken, peanuts, tree nuts, banana, berries, broccoli...just to name a few! I think I use sugar to make myself feel less, well, restricted. But I am quite certain it would be best for DS2 and his immune system, as well as for me. So, despite a bumpy start, I'll coninue on....
Jess, don't count yourself out just yet. I'm am still amazed at your story...your body can do miraculous things. You never know what miracle it has in store for you next!
AFM...I'm certain AF will be visiting any day now, but I'm hoping for next month! Has anyone taken vitex while nursing??
Ladies, it's sad for me to say but I need to leave this thread for awhile. Would somebody be willing to take over threadkeeper?
I'm a little depressed coming to the realization that I am not going to get my cycles back while I am taking domperidone... this nursing relationship is the most precious thing I have ever had in my life and I can't picture giving it up in order to ttc. Chances are so low that I could ever conceive... not willing to risk it. I feel like such a lucky woman to have Georgia, I am going to concentrate on us for now and maybe soon work on hubby to think more about adopting.
You are such a great group of people, I wish you all the best, and I'm sure I will keep up with you some.
Buzzer Beater, you will be missed. Blessings to you and your sweet babe who is so lucky to have a mama like you.
Hi everyone, I'm back after a nice long vacation in San Francisco. I missed a month of TTC while I was there as DH didn't arrive till 1 DPO, dangit, but I did O on CD15, which is generally a good thing. Looking forward to catching up and reconnecting with you ladies.
Buzzerbeater, sad to hear you are leaving, but on the other hand i am inspired to hear your new journey into adoption. Are you able to share that with us from time to time? I understand how you feel about the breastfeeding.
Kristen, you've inspired me to start taking my kelp (good source of iodine) again. Btw, i just had my thryoid checked and it never was low. Didnt think so. (low iodine can lead to low thryoid)
Welcome back Slealthee.
Nothing much to report from me...
Buzzerbeater sorry to see you go but totally understand about the nursing. I waited 2 years to TTC because I didn't want to risk the nursing with my LO. Best of luck to you, and keep us updated no reason why you can't stop in and check in with us.
Maya some of the info. I read said that your thyroid levels can come back normal even if your thyroid needs iodine or even thyroid hormone. It's really confusing and hard to tell hype from fact at times. Kelp is good.
I started the iodine last week and swear it gave me more energy already. I cleaned two rooms that had been ignored too long. did not get me to organize my office but hey you have to start somewhere.
Purplefish, i am going to order those books. Thanks!!
Gumblossom, im sorry to hear it is so hard for you. It would be hard not to have your dh on board. I often wonder why it has to be so hard just to do the most natural thing in the world-have a baby. Then i remember, and am thankkful for, how lucky i was with my first two. I was indeed blessed to have avoided the whole ttc drama (in that they were conceived easily) even despite being of 'advanced maternal age' at the time. I continue to be blessed with raising these two beautiful boys. My youngest just turned 3.
Yet, i continue to yearn for another baby, and it just seems impossible. Why so difficult when everyone else around me is having their third? (or other). Why did i get to this situation? Why is it that one day i could have a baby, and now my body cant seem to do it anymore? I just want another baby, it not a big deal, but it seems to be. Its really crazy. But it just is, i guess.
Boozhemama, im so sorry to hear about your situation. .
Purplefish, it is lovely to hear the space you are in. Yes, it is a homebirth. I had a positive aspect of my first miscarriage. I was saying some blessing to the baby spirit I had connected with and some words just flowed out of my mouth. I had the sense that I had given a soul the mothering it needed on its journey. I felt grateful to be a woman and part of the journey of souls that is beyond my understanding but real and important. I felt connected to all women through time and our amazing role.
BuzzerBeater, it sounds like you have made a happysad choice as such a loving, committed mother, from a place of clarity. Thank you for stepping in when you did and how you did. I hope you will be visiting us. I'd love to hear about your journey with the adoption possibility.
Stealthee, great to see you!
My dh and I decided to postpone pursuing adoption at least until the summer, we may try the letrozole. It will give him some space (more time) to get his business going and keep his stress down. I am feeling okay about that and glad there is another potential option. I am 8dpo right now, feeling some pg symptoms, but I've been down that road so many times before, we will see. With my super short cycle (o on cd14, very unusual for me) I feel like this is an extra try. It is so interesting last month I was consumed by thoughts of this boy name my ds mentioned. Some months I am connecting to girl energy, some boy energy, some something else. This time I feel quite open. I do think it is the baby spirits visiting, checking out, maybe getting some mothering they need. I hope one comes to stay soon--for me and each of us.
Mama to DS (3/05 ), wife to DH , remembering and Spirit 1/07, Hope 5/09, Harmony 6/10, Love 5/11, Joy 6/11
Buzzer beater-- good luck on your next step-- cheirish those nursing times- my 4 yo just weaned himself- I'm so sad :( but he is obviously ready to move on!
Iodine--- check out Nascent iodine-- it seems to be the best absorbed and best iodine- i had already ordered a big bottle before I read all the posting on it! thx for the info!
love to each of you----
Hi everyone, I'm sorry if I don't do personals for everyone, I have trouble keeping up (must be old age!).
Buzzbeater, I'm sorry to hear you are leaving us. I do understand. I was very sad when I weaned my DS at 2 and a half, because he would have happily continued. I was worried about it contributing to the miscarriage, so I encouraged him to stop. And we are okay, but I don't know how I'll feel if I don't get pregnant...
Contactmaya, thankyou for your kind words. And everyone else who has shown concern for me.
I am fine. It's just that awful time when I'm pre-menstrual that the sadness of the miscarriage and the fact I'm not pregnant again really gets to me. And my DH is just being honest.Which then sets me off, wondering what the heck I'm doing ttc. But once AF has passed everything feels different.
Dh seems more than happy to have sex without contraception, and says things about"nature taking its course". I think I can translate that to, "I've got my fingers crossed that we're too old to conceive again". And I'm just merrily going along my path hoping I'm not too old and we'll have one last baby, and he will be fine once that baby is in his arms - which is what has happened before.
I had acupuncture yesterday and it was lovely. I really do like the lady who does the acupuncture.She's very "healing". We talked about whether I should eat dairy or not when ttc. The traditional Chinese medicine way of looking at it is that you should avoid dairy ( but western medicine says full-fat dairy is good for ttc - go figure?). I told her since giving up sugar I consume quite a bit. Then she said I can do what I like, but if I'm giving myself a deadline (say, when I turn 45) then isn't it worth trying for a few months? She quoted a book saying, "do you want to be pregnant 80% or 100%?". She has a point.
So, I've decided to try to lower my dairy intake. I'm not giving it up, just seeing what happens for a couple of months. And I'm going to try nettle infusions for my short, light AF.
I've also been reading about the paleo diet and it is really appealing to me. It would be a big change though - I love to have my grainy gluten free toast in the morning. I also love brown rice. And I do find rice is a cheap and easy way to feed the family. I don't know if we could afford the diet for the whole family! I ordered the book from Mark's Daily Apple (I've already forgotten the title), so will read it and see how I feel after that.
I'm pretty sure someone on this thread is following the paleo - is it supposed to be good for fertility?
Well, it has been really dry here, so I must go and water my vegetable garden if we are actually going to get some vegetables from it!
Gumblossom I made the decision over the summer to try giving up dairy for 3 months. I figured I could do anything for three months and if I got pregnant awesome! I used dairy as my main protein/go to food so it was really hard. I love yogurt and wold eat it every day. The first 2 months I repeatedly slipped up. LOL Finally managed a week or two off it, slipped and learned I am allergic to dairy. So I have been completely dairy free now since I think end of August or first September. It's been an improvement , still not pregnant, but problems I had have gone away. I do use sheep's milk yogurt and cheese when I can find it.
I keep looking at the Primal and while some of it sounds intriguing other research seems to contradict it. Like research that shows people who eat the most whole grains have the lowest cancer rates. It's all so confusing. I wish there was good, reliable info. on diet and nutrition.
thanks for your responses...
Kristin, yeah, I do feel ready, not really concerned about being difficult to date.
Karalina - thanks for those links!! Wonder why there is a 1.5x higher chance of m/c the month after m/c?
Waturmama - the rec to wait 6 mos in the fall was due to how sick I was from the HG. this time I was only mildly ill b/c it was still so early.
Purplefish - thinking of you!
Can some one tell me more about nettle tea? I had nettle pesto for dinner the other night, wonder if that does any thing?
Karalina, I can imagine that weaning is happysad. Congratu-condolence-ations! May it give your body more energy for a baby and may you find new wonderful ways to connect with your 4 yo.
Mama to DS (3/05 ), wife to DH , remembering and Spirit 1/07, Hope 5/09, Harmony 6/10, Love 5/11, Joy 6/11
Thanks Waturmama--- I guess I am relieved he weaned actually right before he turned 4, whic was March 14th--- I asked him when he was sick if he wanted to nurse and he said no..... I said "Do you think you'll ever nurse again?" and he said "No-- i don't think so.... it's just kinda boring!!" !!!!!!!! omg-------really???
I have been nursing for 10 1/2 years straight- so maybe it's time to rest---- it never interfered with getting pregnant before tho----
I MAY be getting closer to throwing in the towel- DH and I BD ed last night and i haven't been keeping up this month on O-ing or anything bc I am having all these tests done on my adrenals, thyropid etc hormones, etc----- so he asked if he should pull out and I said no--- and then afterward I kind of freaked out that i moght get pregnant--------- I guess I've been rationalizing why it is ok if I don't get preg---- so that must say something about what's going on within me---- I feel like if I'm not preg then I want to be and if I think I'm preg I freak out a bit----- can't I just TELL MYSELF what is best and what I want? I thought i wanted it so badly--- crazy confusing!
love to all out there---
Karalina, (((hug))), I think it is very typical and really a bit logical to freak out a bit at the idea of actually being pregnant, even if we truly want it. I have seen it happen in myself and others many times. I love that one of the chapters in the wonderful book Birthing From Within is called "A Mother's Job is to Worry." (Mine is still on loan to a friend so I may not have the wording exactly right, but I think I have the idea.) And this is not to say that it you might not be really ready to move on. You sound like your mind is spinning. I'm guessing when you calm down and connect with your wise, mama intuition place all will be clearer. (And what a lovely gorgeous day in California to do that!)
So funny what your ds said. And so good to hear that you have gotten pg multiple times while nursing. It must be so bizarre to stop after all that time.
AFM, I am super crampy here on 10 dpo. A lot of pg symptoms kicked in yesterday at 9 dpo--on the cycles where I seem to be pg or have a chem pg that usually happens at 6 or 7 dpo, but I know 9 dpo is in the range of possibility. And this is the weird cycle where I ovulated so early. I have no idea what it means, but I hope it is good. Oh! And I'm really happy to realize I am taking nettle infusions, too--part of a mix my TCM, who knows a bit about western herbs too, recommended. I thought they were just for my allergies. I brew them with red raspberry and oatstraw.
Mama to DS (3/05 ), wife to DH , remembering and Spirit 1/07, Hope 5/09, Harmony 6/10, Love 5/11, Joy 6/11
Waturmama, how do you get the herbs down? I'm finding the nettle infusion quite yucky, having trouble drinking it down.I just find the flavour a bit overwhelming! I'm chugging it down because I believe it is worth it, but finding it quite difficult. I don't want to sweeten it because I'm off sugar and don't want to eat any sugar, including homey.
Karalina, I understand how you feel.
I was so grateful for my last pregnancy, but even so, I was often thinking,"Oh my gosh, what have I done?" especially when I was feeling unwell and grumpy toward my other kids. Then I miscarried and regretted those feelings instantly, but I know those feelings are totally natural, and it doesn't mean we don't want, love or appreciate our babies.
I'm hoping next time that I'll be less irritable, As I've weaned DS. I found the nursing really difficult when I was pregnant. My nipples hurt terribly and I just couldn't stand my DS touching them, but didn't want to stop nursing either. I'm hoping things will be easier next time (trying to stay positive!).
Waturmama, I hope your symptoms are it! What day do you think you'll test? How long is your LP?Fingers crossed for you. For all of us.
Happy weekend everyone--- I just feel like you are all my good friends-- I wish we could have a big party and hang-out and talk- we could all drink our Nettle tea together !!!!!!!!!!! ha- ha
Thanks so much for the good wishes, gumblossom. My lp is usually about 14 days. I don't think I would test until at least 15, but I may change my mind. I'm 11dpo right now. The nettle infusion I made is with red raspberry leaf and oatstraw. Maybe they cover the nettle flavor, because it doesn't seem at all unpleasant. I think I am mostly tasting the red raspberry. Maybe you could add some, my understanding is it is good for the the uterus and the female systems, but of course look into it yourself first.
Karalina, I like the nettle-tea sipping party image.