Bitter Sushi Ladies: January Edition - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
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#61 of 433 Old 01-05-2011, 11:40 PM
 
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I had planned to keep a pregnancy under wraps for a long time.  But I announced on facebook at 4 weeks 1 day with our first pregnancy.  Oops. 

I got to un-announce 4 weeks later.  The next 3 pregnancies I didn't say a word, except to my bestest friends. 

Who knows what I'll do if we get a real keeper baby.  I plan to hold it close to the vest for a long while.  But...


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#62 of 433 Old 01-06-2011, 03:32 AM
 
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My SD is barraging FB with pregnancy updates. Today we might hear about her hearing the heartbeat. I can't/won't block her, but it is painful to see, especially now that any little trickle of hope I had has been completely stopped. I am officially realizing that it won't happen, but will still go through the motions this month at least. I have to see what is going on with me. I do know several people my age who have babies, or are pregnant. I don't know why it can't be me. On FB my OTHER SD (well, my SS's GF) said that she can't wait to have another one. I would just die, it makes me feel so old and has been. I am truly happy, and feel lucky with my children, but this drive is so strong to have another.

ETA, AF is a bitch, so heavy this time. I just hope it is short. I am so anemic, I am taking my iron. Thr DR said that anemia could be hindering my attempts to conceive.

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#63 of 433 Old 01-06-2011, 07:06 AM
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rcr - That is fantastic! And it is rare to get insurance coverage for that sort of stuff. Mind if I ask what state requires it? (Maybe we can move there when dh graduates!)

 

See this link:  http://www.fertilitylifelines.com/payingfortreatment/state-mandatedinsurancelist.jsp

 

It is a list of states with fertility coverage and what they cover. We are not in one of those states, but our insurance comes from Illinois, so I guess (at least in my case) you can work for a company in one of those states, but live out of state.
 

 



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Okay, I am sure that I am just setting myself up for disappointment here, but the spotting that I thought was AF starting this morning - well, it went from red spotting to brown spotting to nothing. Which is pretty weird for me because usually day 1 is the heaviest. I haven't been charting at all so I don't even know when I might have O'd.

 

I know there's not much chance, at our last fertility appt. they said DP doesn't even have enough sperm for IUI - but I am sooo not good at not hoping.


fingers crossed. I'm not good at not hoping too.

 



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Originally Posted by Jane View Post

I had planned to keep a pregnancy under wraps for a long time.  But I announced on facebook at 4 weeks 1 day with our first pregnancy.  Oops. 

I got to un-announce 4 weeks later.  The next 3 pregnancies I didn't say a word, except to my bestest friends. 

Who knows what I'll do if we get a real keeper baby.  I plan to hold it close to the vest for a long while.  But...



Ouch, un-telling people in FB must have been really rough. I only had to un-tell my aunt and a close friend, and that was horrible enough (well, my aunt was the one I didn't want to tell, my friend knows the whole story).

 

Next time, I am waiting until his/her first birthday to tell anybody. lol.gif



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Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post

My SD is barraging FB with pregnancy updates. Today we might hear about her hearing the heartbeat. I can't/won't block her, but it is painful to see, especially now that any little trickle of hope I had has been completely stopped. I am officially realizing that it won't happen, but will still go through the motions this month at least. I have to see what is going on with me. I do know several people my age who have babies, or are pregnant. I don't know why it can't be me. On FB my OTHER SD (well, my SS's GF) said that she can't wait to have another one. I would just die, it makes me feel so old and has been. I am truly happy, and feel lucky with my children, but this drive is so strong to have another.

ETA, AF is a bitch, so heavy this time. I just hope it is short. I am so anemic, I am taking my iron. Thr DR said that anemia could be hindering my attempts to conceive.


Sorry Beloved. I have been following your posts and they make me sad for you. I hope you aren't loosing all hope. I can't imagine how hard it must be to have SD pregnant, while having a hard time ttc. hug2.gif

 

 

AFM - I got AF today. I am actually happy she is here because we did not BD at all, so there was no chance of being pregnant, and now I get to call the RE this morning to start the IVF process.


Mom to DS 12/07 and DD 11/13, plus a bunch of chickens, dogs, and cats.

Moving past many years of infertility and always thinking of my friends in the infertility forums.

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#64 of 433 Old 01-06-2011, 09:23 AM
 
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Sheepish.gif So... I continually amaze myself with my powers of delusion. In other words, AF is here in full force. But yes, somehow, the insane hopefulness seems to put me in a better mood.

 

Off to come up with a budget for saving $ for IVF... whistling.gif  Maybe I can get DP on board if I show him a concrete plan.


Finally pregnant with #1 and #2! Due September 9th, 2014 
   
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#65 of 433 Old 01-06-2011, 12:29 PM
 
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rcr, that's great that your insurance covers so much! As far as I have gathered, all insurance companies where we live are required to cover testing and 3 IUIs, but coverage for the drugs varies, and I don't think anyone covers IVF. For the most part I'm happy with health insurance here (though it is very expensive), as I moved here halfway through my last pregnancy, and they all would have to take me and cover all the checkups and birth. But your insurance sounds even better.

 

Laggiehug.gif It's so hard to not hope, no matter what our rational side tells us. I prefer to hope, too, though. When I can manage it. winky.gif How much is IVF where you are? But now I'm hoping for you that you won't need it. I hope you end up pregnant and can use the money for a nice trip.

 

Belovedhug.gif What an ordeal you've been through.

 

lilmom, are you trying anything for your long cycles? I can't remember if you've been to see your doctor or are trying something else or whatnot. I tried fertility yoga, which did nothing (though I still do it b/c it didn't seem to hurt and it's relaxing). Then I tried soy, which either did nothing or made me O the latest ever last cycle (could have been a coincidence, but I ditched the soy anyway b/c it sure didn't help). I don't want to be all medicated up, but at this point I've run out of ideas that will actually make me O normally. That and my doctor's being stubborn and won't test me yet, grrr.

 

 

As for me, CD18 and no sign of O yet. I think the long wait to ovulate each cycle is making me more bitter than anything else. It's like a sign that something is weird with my body. I used to be so regular. greensad.gif Oh, and I just found out that the amazing place where I gave birth to my son is no longer doing births since they were forcefully merged with a nearby hospital. Not that I'm even pregnant anyway, but it just makes me mad.


Mama to our little boy (3) babyf.gif , the amazing super squirmer, almost born in the taxi...

and our new baby girl stork-girl.gif, caught by her daddy in our bathtub!

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#66 of 433 Old 01-06-2011, 08:08 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Sweet.Bee View Post

rcr, that's great that your insurance covers so much! As far as I have gathered, all insurance companies where we live are required to cover testing and 3 IUIs, but coverage for the drugs varies, and I don't think anyone covers IVF. For the most part I'm happy with health insurance here (though it is very expensive), as I moved here halfway through my last pregnancy, and they all would have to take me and cover all the checkups and birth. But your insurance sounds even better.

 

Laggiehug.gif It's so hard to not hope, no matter what our rational side tells us. I prefer to hope, too, though. When I can manage it. winky.gif How much is IVF where you are? But now I'm hoping for you that you won't need it. I hope you end up pregnant and can use the money for a nice trip.

 

Belovedhug.gif What an ordeal you've been through.

 

lilmom, are you trying anything for your long cycles? I can't remember if you've been to see your doctor or are trying something else or whatnot. I tried fertility yoga, which did nothing (though I still do it b/c it didn't seem to hurt and it's relaxing). Then I tried soy, which either did nothing or made me O the latest ever last cycle (could have been a coincidence, but I ditched the soy anyway b/c it sure didn't help). I don't want to be all medicated up, but at this point I've run out of ideas that will actually make me O normally. That and my doctor's being stubborn and won't test me yet, grrr.

 

 

As for me, CD18 and no sign of O yet. I think the long wait to ovulate each cycle is making me more bitter than anything else. It's like a sign that something is weird with my body. I used to be so regular. greensad.gif Oh, and I just found out that the amazing place where I gave birth to my son is no longer doing births since they were forcefully merged with a nearby hospital. Not that I'm even pregnant anyway, but it just makes me mad.


SweetBee, I'm not doing anything medically right now for the long cycles. So far, I have tried fertility yoga (nothing), maca (made cycles even longer!), NAC (nothing), various other vitamins...the only thing that has ever helped me is acupuncture, but unfortunately in my crappy little town there is not one. Closest one 3 hrs away. Also the ob.gyns here don't do testing. They are just basically baby catchers and pap smear testers and that is it. They will give me clomid though, if I want it. I just haven't done it because we desperately want to move, and we keep hoping DH will just get a new job and we can move back to a big metro area, and I have been too scared to do it with these ob's anyway! They just are so ignorant, literally. And acupuncture/chinese herbs seriously worked soooo well before. So, what I'm trying right now until we do move is a healthier diet, low carb, lots of veggies and fruits, and low sugar. I think if I can lose my extra 25 lbs that will really help. I was 25 lbs lighter when I got pg with DS. All that being said, if we are still here in a couple of months, I don't know if I can stand not to try the clomid, because I just can't let too much more time go by. I'm too old for that. So, there it is.

 

I am so sorry the place you had DS at is no longer doing births! That is so frustrating. If we end up having another one, and we are back in our old city, I would not go back to my previous ob, so I don't know where I would be birthing. The hospitals have a super high rate of c-section and I would be trying for a vbac, so I don't know..DH doesn't want to do a HB, too scary for him. So, possibly a birth center, although I know for sure that a couple of them do not do vbacs. So, that part of it is scary to me, but I quit worrying about all that a long time ago..I just want to get pregnant again!
 

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#67 of 433 Old 01-07-2011, 05:28 AM
 
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Well, I guess it's time for me to come over here... I'm, apparently, too bitter for most other places so I've come to you ladies. We've been HARD TTC for 6 months now... NTNP for 3 years and 9 months before that (but with great timing almost every time)...I'm feeling especially bitter since we just found out that my husband's ex horrible, no good, very bad wife might be pregnant again... so that's TWICE in the 4 years and 3 months since we've been hoping for another. I'm not doing well with that AT ALL right now, especially since we found out yesterday and I, of course, started AF yesterday. We also did the NTNP after DS was born for 4 months... then hard TTC for 2 years to finally get our bfp with DD so unfortunately, this is not my first go-round with bitterness towards TTC. So.... when you add me, you can use this for my info:

 

Hoping for #3 for 4 years and 3 months with 6 months hard TTC (charting, etc) after previous unexplained secondary infertility. BFPChart2.gif

 

Thank you! :)


Jeri, Natural lovin' Mama to Elijah (9.29.03), Eden (10.2.06), and a little one lost along the way (1/12)., Step-monster to Shelby (18) and Stephen (16). Celebrating 12 years together with my soul-mate, Eric. Hoping for a rainbow1284.gif someday! 
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#68 of 433 Old 01-07-2011, 08:46 AM
 
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Welcome, Jeri! Sounds like this is the place for you, at least emotionally. Hoping you won't need to stay for long!

 

I am ovulating or about to or whatever. We are trying, as there is no other choice. Not hopeful, though, as usual. It sucks to have perfect timing, month after month, with nothing but BFN's. My body is so regular these days, to the point of knowing when things will happen, to the day. On the one hand it makes me feel like I must be doing well with my hypo meds. On the other, though, this "great regularity" (ha!) has not helped one bit towards having a baby. Unexplained infertility, indeed.

 

I am feeling very blessed, today. Our dd is a wonderful little person, so in a sense I feel like "we got it right the first time." I love kids and would never say something like that to anyone. I would like to have so many more... Yet, at least if we cannot have more kids, we do have such a great child. I AM blessed to get to be her mama, no matter what. I think things would be a lot easier on me, if we could move on past the baby and toddler yeard by having friends with kids our dd's age or older. However, all our friends have little ones and keep having more. I am happy for them, of course, (even though I am often sad and bitter) and find that it is as it should be. Yet, it is rough and I look forward to the time when they also move on to the childhood years. Dd will probably be a teenager by then, though.


Mama to a little lady and always praying for more.
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#69 of 433 Old 01-07-2011, 08:59 AM
 
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Jeri, welcome. you've had a rough road hug2.gifI hope your stay here is short and sweet.

 

i haven't posted much lately because i guess i just don't have that much to say.

 

I just ovulated. I can't decide whether the first 2 weeks or the second are more stressful. I almost feel like i'm getting less and less desperate to get pregnant.  maybe this is just a momentary feeling.  i am too old to really just let it go and stop obsessing totally... but i just sort of feel numb right now. not really ambivalent because i really do want to be pregnant, but something sort of close to ambivalence. like all i can do is shrug my shoulders and hope for the best. is there a stage of this where bitterness turns to ambivalence?  anyone else feel this way?

 

hugs to you all. i'm off to stalk your charts.


My husband and I are trying to conceive again, while missing our beautiful daughter who was stillborn Jan. 2010
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#70 of 433 Old 01-07-2011, 11:49 AM
 
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Jeri, welcome. you've had a rough road hug2.gifI hope your stay here is short and sweet.

 

i haven't posted much lately because i guess i just don't have that much to say.

 

I just ovulated. I can't decide whether the first 2 weeks or the second are more stressful. I almost feel like i'm getting less and less desperate to get pregnant.  maybe this is just a momentary feeling.  i am too old to really just let it go and stop obsessing totally... but i just sort of feel numb right now. not really ambivalent because i really do want to be pregnant, but something sort of close to ambivalence. like all i can do is shrug my shoulders and hope for the best. is there a stage of this where bitterness turns to ambivalence?  anyone else feel this way?

 

hugs to you all. i'm off to stalk your charts.


I didn't go through what you did, but for me, bitterness has turned to ambivalence. I have decided that I will give it a good go this month, and then if nothing happens, I will have to accept it. That's just me. Apathetic (with a heavy af, thank god)

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#71 of 433 Old 01-07-2011, 01:20 PM
 
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Attached2Elijah, welcome! I think you were on the soy thread? I'm not there anymore b/c my cycle with soy was a disaster with O on CD30.

 

lilmom, so sad that you're not close to anyone who does acupuncture when you know that worked for you before. I looked into it, and our insurance covers some of the cost of acupuncture, but only if a doctor refers me. Which they won't before I hit 1 year anyway, so I guess I just need to wait it out for the next 3 months.

 

LessTraveledBy, I also feel very lucky with our son. He is an amazing and sweet person (though often really stubborn, haha winky.gif), and I love him to bits. I really want to give him a sibling b/c he adores other children. It used to be just older children, but he stroked a newborn baby's head at playgroup a few weeks ago, then when we were at a restaurant last week, he tried to follow a family who was leaving with their baby.

 

scarletjane, I can't really call myself ambivalent, but I've kind of just let go for the next 3 months until we are allowed to finally get help. There's nothing I can do about anything until a doctor will look at me, which no one will for 3 months, so I'm trying not to worry and obsess about things out of my control. I'm still charting and doing OPKs and such (just got a delivery of them today, yay!). I'm not stupid, after all. orngtongue.gif We'd never get any sort of decent timing without tracking my wacky, unpredictable cycles.

 

Beloved, hoping this cycle is the one for you. fingersx.gif

 

 

As for me, CD19 and my body feels like it's getting more fertile. Also getting O pain (usually happens 2 days before O, coinciding with a + OPK), though my OPK today barely had a 2nd line. I'm just hoping to O in the next week. And I got my hair done today, so I feel pretty again. smile.gif

 

Thinking about weight. . . A few people have mentioned getting to the weight they had when getting pregnant before. Maybe each woman has an ideal weight balance for getting pregnant that's different from that of other women. Maybe average, maybe heavier, maybe lighter. Each our own magic number, you know? I was very slender when I got pregnant with my son (BMI on the borderline between normal and underweight, though I do have small bones), then gained a lot of weight during pregnancy. It's been slowly coming off since giving birth, and I think I'm almost back to what I was then. We don't have a scale, so I'm not sure, though. I want to believe if I reach my magic number, I will get pregnant. Just a little hope I'm holding onto. And I'm ignoring the fact that my cycles weren't so long before. orngtongue.gif


Mama to our little boy (3) babyf.gif , the amazing super squirmer, almost born in the taxi...

and our new baby girl stork-girl.gif, caught by her daddy in our bathtub!

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#72 of 433 Old 01-07-2011, 01:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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A2E:  hey! wave.gif I've added your info (could you double check it for me please?).  Welcome...  but sorry you feel you had to come over here.  On the other hand, the ladies here are awesome - and they don't care how down your posts get.  Here's hoping you won't need to stay long.  hug2.gif  How's Big Bob?  winky.gif

 

 

LTB:  I feel the same way.  My DS is quite high-maintenance...  but is also an awesome little human.  It was a hard road to begin with (I had PND, but more of a denial than a harming mindset.  I was waiting for the baby's mother to come and pick him up...  for 8 months!), but now I don't know what I'd do without him - and can't remember where I was before him!  Poor kid needs a sibling.  (He made a wordsearch puzzle for me the other day, gave it to me and said "Don't worry mum, it's really easy" (like he knows more words than me!!  lol).  The words I had to find were mum, dad, me, and baby huh.gif)

 

 

Beloved:  I just wanted to send you a hug2.gif.  Oh, and I had a look at your 365 project....  wow!  Some powerful stuff there.

 

scarletjane:  I'm not quite at the ambivalent stage yet...  but it feels closer and closer with each passing cycle.  Which makes me sad in itself.

 

ETA:  O...M...G.  DH has just taken on a new student whose wife is pg with #5 (6 weeks to go).  DH asked her if she knew what she was having (a boy.  Has 3 girls and a boy already).  Then she proceeds to tell him that a friend of hers is pg with #1 (not sure how far)...  and they're going to find out what sex the baby is as soon as possible.  Here's the kicker:  if it's a girl, this woman will terminate the pregnancy.  I feel ill.  I mean, each to their own and all that....  but....  I don't even know what I'm trying to say here.   Why can't people just be grateful?  Give the baby to me, FFS!!!  bawling.gif

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#73 of 433 Old 01-07-2011, 03:21 PM
 
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Here's the kicker:  if it's a girl, this woman will terminate the pregnancy.  I feel ill.  I mean, each to their own and all that....  but....  I don't even know what I'm trying to say here.   Why can't people just be grateful?  Give the baby to me, FFS!!!  bawling.gif

 

Is that even legal? Either way, I'm sorry you had to hear that. That really makes me ill the way some people are. I'm always ranting how parents around here are smoking in their babies' faces (and the pregnant women often smoke, many hoping for a "lighter baby" to deliver irked.gif), but this really upsets me.


Mama to our little boy (3) babyf.gif , the amazing super squirmer, almost born in the taxi...

and our new baby girl stork-girl.gif, caught by her daddy in our bathtub!

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#74 of 433 Old 01-07-2011, 04:54 PM
 
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rcr -  Thanks for the link. Maybe I will have to consider moving back to Illinois, after all. 4 years of Chicago winters = one frozen monkey!

 

music - That story is so sad...I hope she's pregnant with a boy, for the baby's sake. :(

 

To the rest of you - still reading, not much to say right now.


Monkey (30) + Pirate (28) = a forever family (5/10) - Baby Bird (8/12), our long-awaited first, and one (9/13 @ 7w 6d); PCOS
*4***8***12***16***20***24******32***36***40** Oct 2014
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#75 of 433 Old 01-07-2011, 07:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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yeah...  I hope it's a boy too.  greensad.gif  What makes it even worse today, is I was taking DS out to a "kids day out" held at the racecourse....  and on the radio driving there they had a news story about a couple that has just terminated a twin pg (twin boys) because they want a girl.  They apparently lost their daughter a few days after she was born (I just about burst into tears at that), so they're fighting to have gender-selection IVF (which we don't do over here, so they're looking at going to the US).  What is our world coming to?

 

I know it's an individual decision....  but.....  I don't know, it just doesn't seem fair.  Technology is so right and good for so many reasons - and so wrong for so many others.

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#76 of 433 Old 01-07-2011, 09:44 PM
 
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Oh my. I feel very VERY strongly that it should not be legal to terminate a pregnancy due to gender! I just don't even have words, Music, to say how I feel about that. I feel sick to my stomach about it.

 

SweetBee, again about the topic of weight, I was tiny, tiny when I got pregnant with DS. Actually, I was tiny my whole life until 2 yrs ago. I only gained 12 lbs with my pregnancy. (I know, I know, please don't anyone be mad..it was a terribly hard pregnancy and I was on bedrest 5 months..no need to be mad) So, in my case, I didn't gain all this weight until DS was a year and a half old, and I am not positive why I gained it either. I do feel like if I could just get to my ideal weight and be healthier in general, maybe I could get pregnant again. The irony is, I eat so much better than almost anyone I know. Probably not better than alot of ladies on MDC, but somehow it does frustrate me when I see ladies who are eating fast food, etc every day during their whole pregnancies, or as someone else just mentioned, smoking, etc.  OH, I keep forgetting to ask you this...did you mention a while back that you thought you might have a prolactin problem? I had never heard of that until you mentioned it, but I also had a really hard time with breastfeeding..basically I couldn't do it because I had NO milk, and I mean no milk. I was pumping, and trying to BF exclusively and i literally had no milk after DS was 3 wks old, even while taking fenugreek, blessed thistle, and drinking mother's milk tea. It was really sad. The doctors blamed it on my difficult pregancy though, and said I just wasn't healthy enough to make milk and still be ok myself. Anyway, you saying you had some problems with that too made me wonder if this might have something to do with my long crazy cycles and trouble ttc? Have you looked into that further? How do they determine your prolactin levels and how does that affect your cycle?

 

Welcome, Attached2Elijah. I am so sorry for the hard road you've been travelling! I hope it gets easier quickly!!

 

Beloved, I hope this time is THE cycle for you.

 

We need hugs all around, oh yes, and that BSL vacation sounds pretty good too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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#77 of 433 Old 01-08-2011, 05:00 AM
 
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SweetBee, again about the topic of weight, I was tiny, tiny when I got pregnant with DS. Actually, I was tiny my whole life until 2 yrs ago. I only gained 12 lbs with my pregnancy. (I know, I know, please don't anyone be mad..it was a terribly hard pregnancy and I was on bedrest 5 months..no need to be mad) So, in my case, I didn't gain all this weight until DS was a year and a half old, and I am not positive why I gained it either.


 

 

Lilmom.... Any chance you have a thyroid problem? I do, and you just described me: I did not gain "too much" when pregnant but when dd was between a year and two, I gained 20 lbs, seemingly without any reason.

 

I have no comment to the abortion thing. Otherwise it would become a rant about "how dare we" (meaning, humans).

 

I am supposed to be translating something but, instead, have been oline, buying clothes for dd. Oh well...

 

Hope you all have a great weekend!
 


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#78 of 433 Old 01-08-2011, 06:44 AM
 
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There was an article in the newspaper today about a new calculator to find your individual odds of success with IVF, depending on your age, reason for infertility, etc.  Thought some of you might be interested: article, calculator site.  


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#79 of 433 Old 01-08-2011, 07:37 AM
 
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For those of you that are temping and are in winter areas right now, are your overall temps a little lower than, say, a cycle or two ago? My overall temps this cycle have been lower than normal (unmedicated), and especially my post-O temps are really worrying me because they're just not reaching a good height.

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#80 of 433 Old 01-08-2011, 08:14 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lavatea View Post

For those of you that are temping and are in winter areas right now, are your overall temps a little lower than, say, a cycle or two ago? My overall temps this cycle have been lower than normal (unmedicated), and especially my post-O temps are really worrying me because they're just not reaching a good height.


This is my 2nd winter temping and I notice no difference between winter and summer temps. The bedroom is usually about 18-19C in the winter and can get up as high as 30 in the bedroom in the hottest part of summer since we have no AC, so there is definitely a difference in room temp, but my temps don't reflect any difference at all.   


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#81 of 433 Old 01-08-2011, 08:23 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lavatea View Post

For those of you that are temping and are in winter areas right now, are your overall temps a little lower than, say, a cycle or two ago? My overall temps this cycle have been lower than normal (unmedicated), and especially my post-O temps are really worrying me because they're just not reaching a good height.


TBH, I have never noticed a difference, although I don't think it is impossible. The temps say a lot about metabolism, so I would think of what the reasons could be that your metabolism is slower than usual... My temps change based on how much thyroid medication I am on. It has been really interesting to watch the temps go up as I increased the amount of pills I take.


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#82 of 433 Old 01-08-2011, 09:24 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LessTraveledBy View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by lavatea View Post

For those of you that are temping and are in winter areas right now, are your overall temps a little lower than, say, a cycle or two ago? My overall temps this cycle have been lower than normal (unmedicated), and especially my post-O temps are really worrying me because they're just not reaching a good height.


TBH, I have never noticed a difference, although I don't think it is impossible. The temps say a lot about metabolism, so I would think of what the reasons could be that your metabolism is slower than usual... My temps change based on how much thyroid medication I am on. It has been really interesting to watch the temps go up as I increased the amount of pills I take.


Thanks for the replies, ladies. I looked back at the charts from last winter and my temps seem to be about the same as last winter. So maybe I'm freaking out for nothing. It's just that when I started temping again after a long break my temps (especially post-O) were appreciably higher than these past two cycles. Last month I attributed it to the soy, but I didn't take enough this month for that to be the reason.

LTB - Maybe my metabolism is different in the winter for some reason?? Interesting thought anyway.

 


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#83 of 433 Old 01-08-2011, 10:54 AM
 
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Hey Ladies! Not posting much lately because things have been crazy at work. I had to write an insanely difficult 3.5 hour test to try to move to the next level of my classification. I wrote the test yesterday and don't feel great about it.  8 questions in 210 minutes = 26 min per question. Each question could easily have taken at least 2 or more hours to answer, and there were about 20 pages of reading to go along with the questions. Needless to say, I don't know if there's much hope. Anyway, now I am rambling. You Ladies don't want to hear this, although i do think the pressure of my job is tied in with my difficulty carrying a pregnancy.

 

I met with an intuitive/Reiki master the other day and after a long discussion and a session of Reiki, she said she absolutely does not think that there's anything physically wrong with me, but thinks I may have some emotional issues that are preventing me from carrying to term. Interesting and somewhat discouraging, because I don't feel like I have the tools or the ability to address the issues that she brought up. Ugh.

 

Tried the IVF success app and my chances of success are apparently 32.3 %. However, nowhere in the app does it ask about the number of previous miscarriages. I would think a long history of recurrent miscarriage would significantly reduce your chances of success. Regardless, $7-8,000 for a 32% chance of success is a big financial gamble....

 

Ok, this was AAM. Sorry! Personals next time. Welcome to all the new folk! Of course we are happy to have you here for good company, but we hope you move on in a flash!  hola.gif

 

Going to go scratch some lottery tickets now so I can win us some cash for that vacation! I love the idea of Aruba too (I forget who mentioned that one). I met a cute guy from Aruba recently wink1.gif

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Once again I am not able to type under.... hmmm...

 

I feel basically the same way as you, collieflower, as if there is something in my head preventing me from getting pregnant. Whether that is true or not, I don't know what to do about it.
 

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I met with an intuitive/Reiki master the other day and after a long discussion and a session of Reiki, she said she absolutely does not think that there's anything physically wrong with me, but thinks I may have some emotional issues that are preventing me from carrying to term. Interesting and somewhat discouraging, because I don't feel like I have the tools or the ability to address the issues that she brought up. Ugh.

 


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#85 of 433 Old 01-08-2011, 12:45 PM
 
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lilmom, I had plenty of milk for the first ~4 months. My son was slow to start regaining the post-birth weight loss, but once my milk came in, he gained super fast to make up for lost time. Then, all of a sudden, we learned at 4.5 months that he had lost 400g since his doctor's appt 2 weeks before. That's a lot of weight to lose for such a tiny baby, and he is lighter than average normally anyway (25th percentile). He had fallen off the charts completely. greensad.gif It turned out my milk supply had plummeted sometime around 4 months, and we still have no idea why. Weird b/c it was perfectly fine before. I had my wisdom teeth out around then, so maybe that messed with my body?

 

I don't know why my cycles are long now b/c they weren't before (except that one time I lost weight too fast and went months without a period, which is why I'm being careful not to exercise too much right now). Maybe pregnancy reset my body into some weird mode. I would like to be tested to figure out all these "whys", but I have to wait the mandated 3 more months. Could you be tested? You mentioned you don't like the doctors where you are, but maybe there's one a bit further away who's better?


collieflowerfingersx.gif for great test results. That sounds like a difficult exam!


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#86 of 433 Old 01-08-2011, 03:43 PM
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collie I was kindof (not so directly) told the same thing - to do reiki and that I am medically fine. I m not sure what to think of it. It was from somebody whom I believe, but I am now doing ivf. I can't imagine there is no need for it. I mean, I wouldn't want to think I am doing ivf for nothing. I did do reiki after my m/c and I think it helped with healing, but I am still not pregnant. I am trying meditation too. I just purchased some fertility mp3s from circle + bloom (or something like that). They were not cheap ($50.00) but I figured since I am getting ivf paid for by insurance I could pay for that if it helps.

I am not sure what to think of reiki. I love alternative therapies like that kind of stuff, but it is so much less tangible than acupuncture or meditation. I guess I like to see and feel things to believe it is working.

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#87 of 433 Old 01-08-2011, 04:42 PM
 
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I have actually had some pretty powerful experiences with Reiki that I definitely felt. I won't go into it here, but if anyone wants to PM me, I would be glad to share (no huge secretive big deal, just more private)

                                Whatever will be, already is...
 
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#88 of 433 Old 01-08-2011, 05:36 PM
 
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lavatea - Actually, my temps seem to be up a bit, but I think that's because I'm actually wearing pajamas/sleeping under a blanket, whereas I was not during the summer

 

collie -  Ouchie. That exam sounds brutal! Do you mind telling what field you're in? Also, I did the IVF calculator and came out with about a 37% chance. If that's as good as it's going to get for me with no previous trials of IVF and trying less than a year, I don't think I'd be interested at all!

 

LTB - it wasn't letting me type under quotes the other day, either. And it kept making everything bold. :P


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#89 of 433 Old 01-08-2011, 05:54 PM
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So tonight dh was in the bedroom with ds talking to his mom (mil) and I kept hearing my name. So I walked in there and he was telling her about ivf. It turns out he has been telling her everything all along, including the m/c. I am so hurt and mad and betrayed. He knew that I did not want anybody to know. He also stopped talking as soon as I walked in the for, so obviously he knows he was doing something wrong. I never ever wanted his family to know, and now I don't see how I can ever face them or how I can trust Dh.

Mom to DS 12/07 and DD 11/13, plus a bunch of chickens, dogs, and cats.

Moving past many years of infertility and always thinking of my friends in the infertility forums.

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#90 of 433 Old 01-08-2011, 06:51 PM
 
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RCR - Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear about DH. I understand how you must feel so betrayed. I'm sure he had everyone's best interests at heart, but still, if he knew you really didn't want in-laws to know about what's going on.... Sounds like you guys need to have a good heart-to-heart.   BTW-So happy to hear that you are moving forward with IVF. I bet it gives you some good hope! I'm sure the visualization/meditation will complement it nicely. I do imagery and I think it helps a lot.

 

LTB - Glad to hear somebody understands what I'm thinking and feeling about the mind-body thing. I'm trying to figure out where to start; maybe with some meditation and yoga? I've been wanting to go to an ashram for a few years now, and I'll soon have the time to do it. Happy to hear any ideas you might have, and to talk about it anytime!

 

Beloved - Would love to hear about your Reiki experiences. I will PM you when I have a bit more time.

 

Monkey - Do you know why the odds for IVF were so low for you? You're in a good age category for IVF. As for my field of work, I feel a bit weird about putting it out there (sorry to be secretive; I'm not normally at all secretive but it's a small field andI wouldn't want anyone connected to me via work to know who I am here online ;)

 

SweetBee - It seems like pregnancy changes cycles all the time. After each pregnancy, I've experienced changes in my cycle (length, flow, consistency, PMS symptoms, etc).

 

Just celebrated round two of NYE! It was fun, and cute. Our friends who hosted don't have kids, but are really great with children, so they had the countdown at 8:30pmpartytime.gif

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