Bitter Sushi Ladies, April 2011 - Page 7 - Mothering Forums

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#181 of 205 Old 04-26-2011, 12:47 PM
 
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Beloved! *hugs*

 

Also, I too would like adoption page links; I'm signed up with Rainbow Kids but my husband is iffy on adopting any sort of needs at this time.


Rainbow kids it is... It seems to me that most people start out thinking about wanting adopt a healthy infant who looks as much like them as possible. Then time goes by and reality sets in. I would go as far as to say that all adopted kids are special needs due to the loss they have been through. Even if one does not agree on that, the fact is that a huge % of adopted children do have a special need of some sort. With some it is clearly stated (or over stated), with others not so much. All I am saying is that the more I read, the more convinced I am that adoption is a good option only for those willing to have a special needs child. Then again, it is not like biological kids come with any guarantee of good health, either.... :) Then again adoptin within the US and getting enough info of the birth mom might be a good option. Living close enough to Russia, I am just always amazed when people adopt from there and are surprised when they later realize the child has FAS or something. Unfortunately, countries really differ and I think it can be hard for some to understand how much culture, health care, etc. effect things.

 


 


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#182 of 205 Old 04-26-2011, 02:52 PM
 
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http://orlando.ripleys.com/ripleys-famous-fertility-statues-now-in-orlando/
I happen to be going here this weekend. Woooo! Who wants to bet me I'll get tossed out on my ear for rubbing all over this statue like a cat?

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#183 of 205 Old 04-26-2011, 04:25 PM
 
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So I did a FRER today and white as white can be which is pretty much what I expected.  I try to stay away from the blue dye tests, they seem to give me funny results sometimes.  So although I tried not to get too excited about it I am as usual deflated.  After I saw my DR. last week about missing 3 periods he has ordered blood work and an ultrasound to try and figure out what is going on.  I have to wait for the hospital to mail me a letter with my appointments, which I think is a ridiculous way to run things, my doc figures it will probably take up to 6 weeks for me to get in.  6 weeks!!!!  I really hope af decides to show up before then, this is getting nuts. 

 

Milkshake - I think you said that you feel 'left behind'  that is also how I feel.

 

Beloved- I too would like to strangle your co-worker.  Must be nice to be so perfect.

 

Enigo - Ha!  What a funny thing to picture, do a little extra rubbing for all of us!!

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#184 of 205 Old 04-27-2011, 02:15 AM
 
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Milkshake - I think you said that you feel 'left behind'  that is also how I feel.

 

Beloved- I too would like to strangle your co-worker.  Must be nice to be so perfect.

 

Enigo - Ha!  What a funny thing to picture, do a little extra rubbing for all of us!!


Smiles, so sorry about the negative. It is so much worse when you have started to really feel the what if...

 

Yeah on Beloved's coworker. I can hardly believe people like that exist and that no one has tried to get her to stop. Chances are that sooner or later she will say something really hurtful to a client. (But maybe losing a client here and there is not a big deal to her and she may never know exactly why they don't come back.) I am sure she might have a client who had struggled with infertility.  Anyway, Beloved... Happy to hear you are getting away from her. I do think that sooner or later people like that tend to get a big lesson in life, when everything does not go as they wish. If not with fertility trouble, maybe something else. I do feel like screaming when I think of what sort of a mom that person will become, so lacking in empathy. Sounds like soon enough she will complain about her kids all the time.

 

 

Yes, left behind is exactly right. I have a friend with "fertility issues," with 3 kids younger than my dd. TBH, though, I am not willing to accept the idea that someone with naturally conceived kids, 3 under the age of 5, can claim to have issues with fertility. I think it is a natural thing to not be able to get pregnant when the younger child is still a baby. Even though some do get pregnant really early, I think it is equally natural not to.

Anyway... In addition to "left behind," I feel like my whole life is stuck. I have been home with dd for over 6 years now, and there has been little change outside of her getting bigger. Also, while I am doing super compared to a couple of years ago, my health is still not great. I suppose this feeling os "stuck" is increased due to dh still being a student, again. Because of that (though it is a great thing otherwise) there has been no change in any other area, either. I think it would be a bit easier, in a sense, if we were now raising dd in our dream home somewhere. Instead, dh is still 2-2.5 years from graduating. These two emotions are my biggest problems with the secondary infertility. I feel like I just watch others women's lives endlessly move on to new things, mainly, more kids. Meanwhile, I just sit here (literally, actually).

 

Earlier I had the feeling that they will never find anything wrong with us and that somehow the infertility is caused by my thoughts and attitudes. (Sorry... I know this kind of goes in the "if only you would relax" category. Yet, this is how I feel, only for myself.) I have felt like there was something keeping me from getting pregnant. The other night I realized that, as much as I would like to have a baby, I am very afraid of being pregnant and having the sort of rollercoaster I went through with the pregnancy and the first 3 years of dd's life. I don't have any problem being tied to a child 24/7. Actually, I loved it. However, I was violently ill for half of the pregnancy and depressed for all of it. I spent months going from couch to fridge, to toilet to puke, then back to couch. I was in a lot of pain. Of course it was all so worth it and I never wanted to not be pregnant, but it was so many times worse than I ever could have imagined. (However, this was not a case of normal morning sickness. I was having all kinds of symptoms of hypothyroidism, without knowing it.) Giving birth and the first 3 months were amazing. However, when dd was about 1, the hypo stuff hit me really badly. In addition, dd did not sleep well until past 3, so I was so sleep deprived I felt like I was going nuts. So, to make en even longer story short, with my not so great health, I am not optimistic enough to think things would be different this time, outsite of having thyroid meds. To really think of it all makes me think that my body is actually quite wise to not get pregnant. Really. And yet, I would so like a child and cannot afford adoption....

 

Please know I am not wanting to scare anyone else. Most moms, thank God, will never go through hypothyroidism and pregnancy or sleep deprivation at the same time. Also, I had to fight and in the end see a specialist I found online to get diagnozed. I don't dare think how I would be doing now if I had believed the local doctor who felt my labs were not bad enough to require medication. :(

 


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#185 of 205 Old 04-27-2011, 05:31 AM
 
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Smiles- I hope that you see 2 lines! +++++++++!

 

Milkshake- I have a SIL that told me that she was trying for her 2nd (her first was only 7 months old at the time) on the day that I was still passing my misscarrage.... My husband actually thinks she may have known too... Slap.. I feel you...

 

Sweet.Bee- I'm 3 DPO too... Easter eggs! the count down begins, it would be nice to have BFP with you. Best!

 

Enigo- Rubby that fertility god/staute away!!!!

 

Beloved- Sorry, I can relate to your experiance, I had a friend of a friend tell me that if I just understood how to deeply meditate I probablly would not have misscarried.... Yeah she really said that to me... and she said that most people could ride themselves of cancer too if they were more able to to do that but most people just can't, so not only did she tell me that I can't get/stay pregnant because I can't meditate but I actually don't have the deep disire or ability to do it.... Please! I almost slapped her... but she is a nieve, naturalist, and sort of unawear person so I didn't hold it to her but still don't open your mouth and say that if you read an article and thought it was good...

 

Lava- How are you feeling!? How did the Dr apt go!?

 

Lillmom- How are you do with the move, you need to sit and have a cup of tea and relax - have your hubby rubb your feel. Hope all is well

 

AFM- So I'm 3-4 DPO, again the computer says I O-ed Satuday but I know I O-ed Sunday so I hope my timming was on a little but it's sort could be or could not be... but I already notice some stuff... Sorry - tmi - But my nipples are really cutting glass today and sensitive... and I''ve had some crampyness lightly last night... but who know I play this game every cycle... it's doubtful I could be... But I'll wait my 7-9 days and then test... But it's funny my husband and I are going on a camping trip for our anniversary.. and this marks the 1 year ago that i had lost my tube and pregnancy to an extopic emergency surgery... But also too so far everytime I plan to go camping I seem to be prego which makes camping - o so much more fun....

Hopefully we can get all of us some babies this month

 

 

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#186 of 205 Old 04-27-2011, 09:06 AM
 
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Drive-by posting again, sorry... dh gave me the shot last night. He did a good job! Shot didn't hurt at all until a few minutes after he was totally done with it. Guess I should have iced it. :P Question: Does the hCG raise your body temp? Because my temp was in the post-O range today, after getting the shot last night.


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#187 of 205 Old 04-27-2011, 10:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Drive-by posting again, sorry... dh gave me the shot last night. He did a good job! Shot didn't hurt at all until a few minutes after he was totally done with it. Guess I should have iced it. :P Question: Does the hCG raise your body temp? Because my temp was in the post-O range today, after getting the shot last night.



I could never get an answer on that from googling, but I had the same thing, temp went right up after the shot.  Also, when you enter the shot on FF it tells you to use manual override, so I guess it must affect it.  


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#188 of 205 Old 04-27-2011, 03:45 PM
 
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Lava- How are you feeling!? How did the Dr apt go!?

AFM- So I'm 3-4 DPO, again the computer says I O-ed Satuday but I know I O-ed Sunday so I hope my timming was on a little but it's sort could be or could not be... but I already notice some stuff... Sorry - tmi - But my nipples are really cutting glass today and sensitive... and I''ve had some crampyness lightly last night... but who know I play this game every cycle... it's doubtful I could be... But I'll wait my 7-9 days and then test... But it's funny my husband and I are going on a camping trip for our anniversary.. and this marks the 1 year ago that i had lost my tube and pregnancy to an extopic emergency surgery... But also too so far everytime I plan to go camping I seem to be prego which makes camping - o so much more fun....

Hopefully we can get all of us some babies this month

 

 


I'm feeling OK. Some queasiness which I'm loving and hating at the same time. The dr. appointment went well and the baby looked good and is measuring right on with my dates. Thanks for asking.

I hope your camping luck holds!!


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#189 of 205 Old 04-27-2011, 04:00 PM
 
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#190 of 205 Old 04-27-2011, 04:26 PM
 
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LTB - "In addition to "left behind," I feel like my whole life is stuck" I also feel kinda stuck - and it's only been a year for me (did I really say only a year?)  I keep planning for things like there will be another child in my future, like we are building a house and we're planning the number of bedrooms around having another child, I hang on to the clothes and toys that dd no longer needs just in case I have another.  I wonder if I never do have another how many years I will be on hold waiting until I finally move on.

 

Monkey - what happens next?  You just have to wait it out?

 

Lava - Glad things are going well!

 

Greenmum - Are you camping in tents or do you have a trailer? I love camping but it's still a little too cold here for that yet - not that I'm very far from where you are.

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#191 of 205 Old 04-27-2011, 05:02 PM
 
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I hate to not be here and then do another drive by, but I HAVE to vent my pain greensad.gif

I just found out that not only are my two stepdaughters ripe and pregnant and looking very round, but my stepson's gf is pregnant *again.* I need to be happy, so I need to go put on my face greensad.gif

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#192 of 205 Old 04-28-2011, 05:15 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Smilesarefree View Post

LTB - "In addition to "left behind," I feel like my whole life is stuck" I also feel kinda stuck - and it's only been a year for me (did I really say only a year?)  I keep planning for things like there will be another child in my future, like we are building a house and we're planning the number of bedrooms around having another child, I hang on to the clothes and toys that dd no longer needs just in case I have another.  I wonder if I never do have another how many years I will be on hold waiting until I finally move on.

 

Monkey - what happens next?  You just have to wait it out?

 

Lava - Glad things are going well!

 

Greenmum - Are you camping in tents or do you have a trailer? I love camping but it's still a little too cold here for that yet - not that I'm very far from where you are.

Smiles-
I actually camp in a tent, normally on the ground. But this camp site has beautiful spots on the ocean in this cove that is just breath taking and they are on wooden platforms. I'm pretty easy to please, besides my DH is a furnace so in our 4 season North face base-camp tent we should be really toasty! Case you guys don't know I love to camp and outdoors... I seriously cannot wait. Then we have a trip planned for later this summer to hike Mt Katadin!! My Mom's side all gets together and we get a couple sites and hike something fun every year, I cannot wait to share this with my kids some day!

Smiles - How are you feeling? I'm crampy but my post O temps are lower then normal....  We shall see, 2 week wait right?

 

Hey has anyone tried the site www.countdowntopregnancy.com I use this site and fertility Friend, I like to see the data on both and honestly the other site gives me more of a range of data vers changing my dates and stuff. Just a thought.

 

Happy baby thoughts everyone!


 

 

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#193 of 205 Old 04-28-2011, 09:08 AM
 
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beloved, you are in the right place! VENT AWAY!!! Thats BS!! Sorry hun......... Maybe all the fertile engery tho with move towards you.... ;o)

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#194 of 205 Old 04-28-2011, 10:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by enigo View Post

http://orlando.ripleys.com/ripleys-famous-fertility-statues-now-in-orlando/
I happen to be going here this weekend. Woooo! Who wants to bet me I'll get tossed out on my ear for rubbing all over this statue like a cat?


Oh, man. Rub that thing for me, please!!


Mom to DS 12/07 and DD 11/13, plus a bunch of chickens, dogs, and cats.

Moving past many years of infertility and always thinking of my friends in the infertility forums.

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#195 of 205 Old 04-28-2011, 01:44 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Smilesarefree View Post

LTB - "In addition to "left behind," I feel like my whole life is stuck" I also feel kinda stuck - and it's only been a year for me (did I really say only a year?)  I keep planning for things like there will be another child in my future, like we are building a house and we're planning the number of bedrooms around having another child, I hang on to the clothes and toys that dd no longer needs just in case I have another.  I wonder if I never do have another how many years I will be on hold waiting until I finally move on.


Smiles, I know exactly how you feel. hug.gif Actually, we've been looking for a place with one extra room for over a year, ever since we decided to try for a 2nd child. We finally found one and moved in last month. Now just hoping I'll get pregnant.


Mama to our little boy (3) babyf.gif , the amazing super squirmer, almost born in the taxi...

and our new baby girl stork-girl.gif, caught by her daddy in our bathtub!

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#196 of 205 Old 04-28-2011, 02:18 PM
 
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@greenmum: I'm digging this site. smile.gif Thanks for sharing.

TTC #1 My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/329153
 

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#197 of 205 Old 04-29-2011, 10:02 AM
 
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Objet - Ur welcome! I like that it's FREE, and Like the feed back it gives more broad and less, you O-ed this 1 day(which is true but I need more time to "play" with the DH)... it gives you a general span...

It's giving me "high" scoring on my O-ed.... 7 DPO today..... Praying I get a + in 4-5 days.... X-fingers!!! The only thing I have not figured out is sharing... I have not played with it long enough to find that opt, if you find it let me know! Thanks!

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#198 of 205 Old 04-29-2011, 10:09 PM
 
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Smiles! 6 weeks!?!?!  That is totally ridiculous! I really hope AF comes before then. Or a BFP, which would be even better. Are you still charting while this is going on? I can't remember. Maybe at least that way if you O you would know?

 

SweetBee- I have no idea what was different about this last cycle where I O'ed so much earlier than I have been. I have wracked my brain trying to figure it out and there just is no rhyme or reason to it. I had more stress than usual, so it wasn't less stress. Exercise was the same. Diet the same. The only thing possibly different is that I switched shampoos. But I switched from one all-natural organic to another. So, I doubt that had anything to do with it. I try really hard to use all natural products so that the toxins don't affect my hormones/cycle in any way. I even make some of my own products. So, anyway, the point is, I really don't know why I went from a crazy 3 month long plus cycle, to a 35 day one. I hope this one will be good too. I also hope yours was not a fluke, and that you get back to an earlier O time as well! (or a bfp would be great too!)

 

GreenMum- Thanks for asking about my move! It has been a long, really hard week. I have moved many, many times in my life, but these past couple of years have been so tough..DH and I have moved 5 times in the past 3 years. And DS is 3, and it is just not easy with a small person who likes their routine. Especially since we live in a town now where we have no family members closer than 3 hours away, no really good friends, just acquaintances really. So we had almost no help with the move, and almost no help with anyone watching DS for us. I am just itching for the day that we move back closer to family and friends and all the things we really know and love. Plus I had AF during this time, which was really not helping. We just now got the last of our things into our new place, and still have to go back to the old house tomorrow and finish cleaning and touching up everything. Also, we came home tonight after getting our last load of stuff over there, to find that our tv is totally dead. Ironically, we used to have 2, and we never used the 2nd one, so we gave it away last week. I really wanted to watch the royal wedding tonight, and had set the DVR to record it, so I was quite disappointed. I know I can still watch online, but this was just not how I wanted the day to end. Plus DH still thinks he is about to get fired. So, everything is very stressful and honestly we probably shouldn't be ttc at all right now. But I feel like I can't stop at this age. I know things will get better. Just gotta hang in there. Sorry for my whining! I am feeling kinda bitter about everything right now, not just ttc.

 

Beloved- I can't believe your stepdaughters and stepson's GF are all pregnant at the same time!!!! That must be so incredibly hard for you to deal with. I know it would be for me. hug2.gif

 

 

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#199 of 205 Old 04-30-2011, 12:42 AM
 
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Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post

I hate to not be here and then do another drive by, but I HAVE to vent my pain greensad.gif

I just found out that not only are my two stepdaughters ripe and pregnant and looking very round, but my stepson's gf is pregnant *again.* I need to be happy, so I need to go put on my face greensad.gif


That bites!

 

Not much happening here.  I'm hoping for a bit of "fun" with DP in the next few days. 

 

Not looking forward to Mother's Day - I found out that I was pregnant for the first time in 2009, about 5 days before Mother's Day.  I didn't get to celebrate it though, because I had a massive SCH, bled like a stuck pig, and got told that I had miscarried - I spent the day in bed crying.  Turns out that I hadn't lost the baby (yet), and the ED doc was just a wanker. 

(In case you were wondering, I didn't lose the pregnancy until much later, well after it was confirmed that I had a healthy baby happening)

 


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#200 of 205 Old 04-30-2011, 03:28 PM
 
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I just made a huge step asking my best (male) friend if he'd be interested in donating sperm for us if we make future attempts. He looks remarkably like my husband only blonde and taller so it'd be pretty neat. then I can save $1200+ on sperm if he does.


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#201 of 205 Old 04-30-2011, 07:26 PM
 
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I just made a huge step asking my best (male) friend if he'd be interested in donating sperm for us if we make future attempts. He looks remarkably like my husband only blonde and taller so it'd be pretty neat. then I can save $1200+ on sperm if he does.



Wow! So, what did he say? That sounds like it would work out really well for you..I assume your husband is totally on board with it? Sure would be great to save that $1200..

 

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#202 of 205 Old 05-01-2011, 01:03 AM
 
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Some nicely timed action happening over my way... Into the TWW I go.
 

 


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#203 of 205 Old 05-01-2011, 02:55 AM
 
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Not looking forward to Mother's Day - I found out that I was pregnant for the first time in 2009, about 5 days before Mother's Day.  I didn't get to celebrate it though, because I had a massive SCH, bled like a stuck pig, and got told that I had miscarried - I spent the day in bed crying.  Turns out that I hadn't lost the baby (yet), and the ED doc was just a wanker. 

(In case you were wondering, I didn't lose the pregnancy until much later, well after it was confirmed that I had a healthy baby happening)


Oh Milk8shake.... I am so sorry to even think of that.... I so hope that you will be able to have a baby soon. Of course I hope for that for all of us... but still I just really hope for you.

 

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Some nicely timed action happening over my way... Into the TWW I go.
 

:) Good luck!

 

AFM... I am not doing very well right now. As I have said, we attend a tiny church and out of the less than 20 people that come, there is one pregnant mom, one newborn, one older baby and two toddlers. I AM so happy for these families, and their gain is not my loss. It is just that they are endless reminders, making noise and such. The hardest thing for me is that the the family of the newborn is also about to adopt. I try to fight my feelings but honestly... Not only do they have a baby, but they will also be able to adopt... I would like only one of those two options but cannot do anything about it. You know, it is their family and I am happy for them and happy that they are so brave (I would not adopt if I had an infant at home). Yet, all these families are a constant reminder and make me crash every time I think I have got ahead with my emotions just a bit. In general I find that the only thing that really helps me is to stay away from these sort of situations. Yet, I cannot get away from this one. (Complicated thing that I don't want to get into more, but changing parishes or something is not an option.) I cried there this morning, once again, which is not my choice, really. The other people can't really see me enough to know what is going on, but they must think I have a cronic cold, blowing my nose just about every Sunday.

 

I need to go read that thread of mom's of onlies, again. It really helped me a couple of weeks ago. I just wish I did not love babies and kids so much. I want to be able to choose this so much that all the other wishes go away. While I am now able to see the good sides of having an only, also, the emotions are here to stay... at least for now.

 

I found out something really strange: We could adopt from US foster care. Never would I have imagined, as we are abroad. Just an interesting little fact to me. In practice, though, it is not possible, as we do not feel up to adopting an older child or a toddler with the level of special needs that the kids available to us have. (We are talking really serious special needs, feeding tubes, never going to leave home, etc.) That, I feel, would just not be fair to our daughter and I don't trust my health enough to consider something like that. I would be open to lots of special needs, but mainly physical ones. Our kids have to be able to deal with being totally bilingual... I think it would be unfair of us to adopt a child who was struggling with language to begin with. (It might happen, no matter what, and then we would do off course what we could. Just don't think it is a good idea to plan things that way.)

 

I am once again starting to think that the only way we would be able to adopt would be by finding a birth mom with the help of friends or relatives. What are the chances of that? Small! And, yet, I am a big believer in miracles. How much easier waiting would be, though, if we had hope... I just don't know whether to hope against the odds or to try to let go of all hope. (Sad smile.)

 

Wishing you all hope and peace.

 


Mama to a little lady and always praying for more.
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#204 of 205 Old 05-01-2011, 07:36 AM
 
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Greenmum: about sharing...tell me if this link works?
http://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/homepage/?u=29639
I've seen a handful of social networking sites set up similarly, and in the past, they all worked by copying the link when you're viewing your profile ("my countdown page" I think it is on here). I don't know if this will be the same, but it very well could be.

I really love having two charting sites, makes me a little more confident about my O date if I've got two different systems helping me figure it out. FF changed back to CD10, and this new site agrees, so I'm a bit more confident now.

AFM: I don't know what's going on with me. I've not been posting here because I've been sleeping, dizzy and nauseous. I had metal mouth, drooling, food cravings, abdominal cramps, gas, weird dreams, sore lower back, severe moodiness, bizarre food cravings, increased appetite and thirst, increased sense of smell... and all of those symptoms are pretty much gone now, except dizziness, fatigue, moodiness and gas. FF says I should test on the fifth, I tested early (yesterday and the day before) and they came up negative, tested twice yesterday because I thought I got evap lines on the first one. I'm still a little hopeful, but it seems up for debate as to whether I should be. greensad.gif

I spent time with two preg women last night. It bugged me a little at first, but one of them has been trying way longer than I have, has had more problems, and the other is so young I wouldn't want the struggles she'll be having. I actually handled it better than volunteering for the AIDs walk. So many people brought their kids, and I had just had the evap lines mess happen, and someone told me I probably shouldn't get my hopes up about this cycle...I couldn't get myself focused off of my own problems until things got underway, and then I got emotional about that as well! I feel like a mess, and I still have to go film my little sister's play at their church this morning, which is going to be an interesting experience. Been a long time since I've set foot in a fundamentalist christian church (particularly the kind my parents like), other than for my other sister's wedding. I'm expecting a lot of awful memories to come up that I'll have to deal with, but I did promise my kid sister I'd go, film her play and give her a good edited version. So bleh.

TTC #1 My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/329153
 

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#205 of 205 Old 05-01-2011, 12:04 PM
 
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Okay, since no one else volunteered (though Kyamo said she would if no one else did), I went ahead and made a May thread!

 

Check it out here.


Monkey (30) + Pirate (28) = a forever family (5/10) - Baby Bird (8/12), our long-awaited first, and one (9/13 @ 7w 6d); PCOS
*4***8***12***16***20***24***28***32**36***40** Oct 2014 - it's a
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