Bitter Sushi Ladies, April 2011 - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 205 Old 04-01-2011, 05:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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heartbeat.gif Welcome to the April Thread heartbeat.gif

 

 

This is a thread for those who have been TTC for a long time, whether 6 months, 12 months, or more. At this point many of us are at or past 1 or 2 years, many have had losses, many are dealing with various forms of infertility, and some are just in a waiting period until they can TTC again.

 

The name? Well, all things considered we tend to be a little bitter sometimes. So read with care. And due to everything, our emotions run a little raw like sushi. Too many cycles of BFN and CD1 sushi & sake to console ourselves. This TTC business is something that seems to "just happen" for so many...but we just can't seem to get it right. So this is where we can be together, share and express anything.

 

 

Current Bitter Sushi Ladies

 

abstract

33, and DH (36), TTC (his #2, my #1) off-and-on since November 2006

~AA~

Trying with DH since Feb 2008, on Clomid

AGreenMum10

Trying since Nov 2009 , 1 ectopic - down a tube (may 2010), 2 Losses (Aug 2010 & Jan 2011)

amo4piano

TTC #1 since Jan 2010, one m/c at 10.5 weeks

Attached2Elijah

Hoping for #3 for 4 years and 3 months with 6 months hard TTC (charting, etc) after previous unexplained secondary infertility.BFPChart2.gif

blueyezz4

TTC #1 (technically #4-long story) since 2006; Moving on to our first FET after 5 failed IUI's and 1 IVF

borobaby

TTC #2 for 7 months

collieflower

TTC #2 for 2 years, with 4 m/c (and another before DC#1)

enigo

Has one beautiful son, trying to conceive after three losses

grahnola mum

TTC #2 since December 2008, with 7 losses, 8 weeks pg and hoping that it will stick.

InWaiting

TTC #1 since 04/2009 with one ectopic (11/09), one missed miscarriage (11/10),

Hypothyroidism and compound heterozygous MTHFR mutation. Current regimen is 5 mg of Femara on CD 3-7.

indianagirl

36, TTC for a little over two years onto IUI and clomid

jenger

Mama to DD (4/07) TTC #2 since August 2009. BFPChart2.gif

jennabella

TTC #2 since July 2009, with a loss in February 2010 and a loss in July 2010

justhinkn

TTC #2 since summer 2009, just starting IF testing with DH

keria

TTC #1 since October 2008.

kgulbransen

TTC since April 2010, 5 IUIs & 1 at home with frozen, all using HCG trigger; 5 at home insems with fresh donor, latest one Jan (try#11). Short luteal phase, otherwise all clear, have tried Femara and Clomid with no success. On to IVF in April??

kinza

TTC #1 since November 2008, with PCOS and Male Factor BFPChart2.gif

kparker

TTC #1 since 9/08 with male factor, IUI #3 with donor sperm April 2011

Kyamo

TTC#1 since Jan 2010 with PCOS BFPChart2.gif

laggie

TTC #1 since Fall 2009 with male factor issues

lapis

TTC #1 since August 2008. Living in a new country with a calmer lifestyle and trying not to get sucked into the TTC vacuum

lilmom

35, ttc #2 for a year and a half with pcos and rarely ovulating

littlest birds

TTC for 16+ months after VR BFPChart2.gif

luminesce

TTC #2 since 4/2010 after 3 years of unexplained infertility with #1

Milk8shake

Jayde (27) - TTC #1 since 4/09. Battling endo, uterine abnormality and recurrent pregnancy loss. Hoping for a take-home baby in 2011.

MommyMatsumoto

TTC #2 since 3/2010 BFPChart2.gif

monkeyscience

27, TTC #1 with PCOS since 6/10 

mrs.nap515

TTC #1 with DH. Hormone deficiencies and hypothalmic amenorrhea.

Objet_Trouve

TTC #1 since Jan 2010 with PCOS BFPChart2.gif

Rachel88

Rachel (29) and DH (30) TTC #1 since March 2010. One loss Aug. 2010 at 12 weeks.

rcr

TTC #2 since 12/2007, one loss in September 2010, one failed IVF in February 2011 BFPChart2.gif

silverbird

ttc #1 since June 2010, after a two year delay for illness.  Waiting for IVF. 

SimplyRochelle

TTC #1 on and off since 5/2007, m/c at 12 weeks 9/08.

Smilesarefree

36 year old mom of one wonderful dd trying for another since April 2010

Sweet.Bee

TTC #2 with late ovulation and an overworked husband BFPChart2.gif

sweetest77

38 y/o, TTC #3 since May 09, after VR

tara2

TTC #4 (#2 for DH) since October 2009, DH with low count

TTC3Years

TTC #1 for since December of ‘06

ZanneMom

TTC#2 for more than 12 months

 

 

hug2.gif In our thoughts, on hold, and/or waiting hug2.gif

 

BelovedK

Mama of 2 (15yo DS, 10yo DD). Wife to one incredible man. Residing in Central VA. TTC someone new since November 2008 with 2 m/c (Feb/09 and Jul/09). An avid bellydancer and firedancer, who works part time doing hair, and who is giving her loving energy nowadays more toward her DH than TTC

mi_dawn

lost baby William (born still 4/09) and two m/c in 09.

 

 

 

dust.gif BSL BFPs!!! Stick little babies, stick, stick, stick... dust.gif

 

lavatea - due 12/2011 stork-suprise.gif

miriam bat avraham - due 12/2011 stork-suprise.gif stork-suprise.gif

MahnaMahna - due 11/2011 stork-suprise.gif

Jane - due 10/3/2011 stork-suprise.gif

Tear78 - due 8/4/2011 stork-girl.gif

Maurine - due 8/2/2011 stork-boy.gif

CLH_X3 - due 7/13/11 stork-suprise.gif

slylives - due 6/2011 stork-suprise.gif

xtara2003x - due 5/5/10 stork-suprise.gif

kalamos23 - due 4/2011 stork-boy.gif

babygrey - due 4/2011 with twins! stork-boy.gif stork-girl.gif

 

 

2whistle.gif Waiting on an update... 2whistle.gif

grapesbunch - due 1/13/11 stork-girl.gif

rachwms - Due 11/10 stork-suprise.gif

 

 

joy.gif BSL BABIES joy.gif

 

jenniferadurham - Ryan born 3/28/11!

Nanette56 - Tristan and Cael born 3/18/11!

finnegansmom - Henry born 2/11!

jessica_s - Asher Kingston 1/20/11 

QBear'sMama - Jack Everett 12/17/10!

BarefootGirl - DS 11/20/10!

kellyttc#1 - Hilary & Charlotte 11/11/10!

YummyYumYumMama - Kieran 10/27/10!

lyndzies - Cadence James 10/15/10!

Carlyle - Maggie 10/9/10!

aidanraynesmom - Sloan Phoenix 9/10!

MaerynPearl - Maeryn Jean 9/27/10!

colorbywords - Emery Oaklynn 8/03/10!

LZP - Anna Veronica 7/18/10!

Pinoikoi - Ursula Marisol 6/23/10!

Lisko15 - Caleb Benjamin 6/24/10!

 

LINK to our graduates thread - Spring 2011 Edition!

 

Please let the threadkeeper know if your info needs to be updated.

 

New ladies are always welcome, but please join with care.

 

Please put all notes for changes or additions to this post in bold! Thank you!!


Mommy to  N baby.gif, born 2/20/12.

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#2 of 205 Old 04-01-2011, 07:03 AM
 
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Thanks for the new thread.  I've been quiet lately, but I have been reading.  I'm still progressing through a series of testing - some results have been good and others not, but I won't have a clear picture until all testing is complete.   It's a bit of a rollercoaster ride.

 

LessTraveledBy - OPKs don't measure ovulation at all.  They measure the surge of LH (luteinizing hormone) which is meant to precede (and possibly trigger?  I forget...) ovulation.  You can have a + OPK and not actually end up ovulating, so I imagine the reason you are not getting truly positive OPKs has something to do with your LH levels.  But then you do ovulate, as confirmed by temps.  I have no idea if the LH can indicate anything about the actual egg or not.   It sounds like you are using the ones where you have to scrutinize the lines to determine whether you get a positive... if it were me I would try using the digitals for a month to see whether you a positive there, because there is less subjectivity involved and it might give you a clearer picture.  (I partly say this as someone who only uses the Clear Blue Easy digitals because you either get a smiley face or you don't - makes it so easy and I never have to wonder if it's almost positive or not.)  I forget whether you have the RE appt for June?  If that is right, you could mention that you have concerns about not getting a positive OPK and they may be able to test your LH levels.  I don't know for sure, because that is not a test I am having, but they seem to have tests for just about everything...maybe someone else will know if they have one for LH.

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#3 of 205 Old 04-01-2011, 07:18 AM
 
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Thanks, Jennabella. Yes, I have an appointment in June but I have already had LH labs done months ago. The result was supposedly ok. I am really having all these "out there" thoughts, grasping at anything, as there is no reason so far, that we can think of. Dh will be tested in a couple of weeks and then we will just have to wait, I suppose.


Mama to a little lady and always praying for more.
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#4 of 205 Old 04-01-2011, 09:18 AM
 
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I might have had a two year old today if I hadn't miscarried. I really hate april fool's day for this reason. Just a cruel reminder of what I'm still no closer to getting.

 

And most of the ladies I got to know so well during that pregnancy are already pregnant with their second or have another baby already. Just feeling kinda low today. And it's super ugly outside with rain and clouds which never helps. I go straight from lecture to my nanny job where I'll love all over that sweet toddler but it's so bittersweet. 

 

I'm 4dpo today which is just so boring. Not a single thing to obsess about yet.

 

Thanks for letting me mope.


Rochelle  chartnew.gifff: /home/simplyrochelle  Wife to Matt; angel1.gif 9/08; angel1.gif 11/12;angel1.gif 6/13;

Every day brings me closer to fulfilling my dreams of becoming a midwife and a mother  

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#5 of 205 Old 04-01-2011, 10:25 AM
 
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Still lurking Sheepish.gif *Hugs* for you SimplyRochelle!


T-lynn (25) married DH on 28/07/07 partners.gif DD Isla born 28/03/12 diaper.gif TTC #2

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#6 of 205 Old 04-01-2011, 10:25 AM
 
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Kyamo - Thanks for the new thread!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by SimplyRochelle View Post

I might have had a two year old today if I hadn't miscarried. I really hate april fool's day for this reason. Just a cruel reminder of what I'm still no closer to getting.

 

And most of the ladies I got to know so well during that pregnancy are already pregnant with their second or have another baby already. Just feeling kinda low today. And it's super ugly outside with rain and clouds which never helps. I go straight from lecture to my nanny job where I'll love all over that sweet toddler but it's so bittersweet. 

 

I'm 4dpo today which is just so boring. Not a single thing to obsess about yet.

 

Thanks for letting me mope.


Sorry you are having a crappy day, mope away, that's what we're here for!!!

 

AFM - It's now CD75 and I think that I may be ovulating?????  Some aches in the ovary and cm starting to pick up so maybe, although this is not the first time that I have thought that I was ovulating since af went on a break and so far I have been wrong, but I will assume that I am and take full advantage of it!!!!
 

 

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#7 of 205 Old 04-01-2011, 11:45 AM
 
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I finally got to tell my sister I'm sorry for her loss. I decided to leave it at that since I didn't want to risk saying something inappropriate, or even just remind her of our conversation about jealousy and feeling bitter. I'm not the best person to talk to about this with her right now.

I also lost a friend over the circumcision stuff today. She started bullying and using personal attacks against me and I just can't handle it anymore. She started calling me anti-semitic and saying I just wouldn't understand because I'm not Jewish, and that her being jewish is reason enough that it should be legal, and how dare I insinuate that it shouldn't be. She even started attacking my former religious views, which I'm not terribly sensitive about, but the way she did it just killed me (if any of you remember me mentioning it, it was forced on me and abusive in nature, and I followed mostly because I was afraid I would get hurt if I didn't). I wouldn't be so mad, but she wasn't even trying to tell me I was wrong about the science and reason based arguments, she just said I should be ok with it just because her religion requires it. She also got really mad about the links I sent her, even though I said I was unqualified to talk religion with her. Sure enough, I don't really understand the difference between orthodox and reform, and the links I sent her was whichever one she isn't (I'm still really confused about that, and not sure I care anymore, not if she's going to get that angry about it). I shouldn't have been blindsided like I was, I knew she was superior and uncaring about the feelings of others (think I realized that when her and her husband heard I was having problems with my husband and they just laughed and told me I should leave him or scream at him or both and acted like they're a perfect couple because they don't have those problems...they also didn't seem to care when I learned he was having psychological problems that were mostly to blame), I should have expected it. I feel stupid.

So I'm exhausted from staying up all night upset about this, and just really needing to feel like people care about things outside of themselves, placing people above disagreements, religious practices and the need to be right/need to be assumed to be right.

TTC #1 My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/329153
 

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#8 of 205 Old 04-01-2011, 12:35 PM
 
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Objet Trouve, I'm sorry, I hope your day gets better. hug2.gif I have a hard time with the circ stuff too, I ran into a post on here yesterday where a woman was saying she and her husband hope they don't have a boy because they are anti-circ, but they feel it's not optional because of their religion. I managed not to respond but I really, really wanted to just shake her, yk? You aren't stupid, you are standing up for what you believe in and that takes a lot of courage. It sucks to lose a friend, but I could never respect anybody who defends circ, so those friends would drop off my radar anyway.

 

Anyway, sorry ladies, I guess that is way OT. Here's to April showers bringing May BFP's? Or something... April BFP's would be great too, just that I'm on the pill until May 2nd. At least I won't be having any pretend pregnancy symptoms this month!

 

 


Finally pregnant with #1 and #2! Due September 9th, 2014 
   
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#9 of 205 Old 04-01-2011, 02:48 PM
 
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#10 of 205 Old 04-01-2011, 02:55 PM
 
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Kyamo, thanks for the new thread!

 

Rochelle--I'm so sorry.  hug.gif

 

LessTraveledBy:  I am not Catholic, so I don't know the answer to this, and please don't be offended if it's something I shouldn't say.  If sperm is retrieved with a needle from your husband's testicles, would an IUI be possible?  I know you haven't had the semen analysis done yet, but I didn't know if that was an option, if it looks like it would be helpful.  Does the Church object to IUI's, as well as IVF?  When we do our IVF, DH's sperm has to be aspirated, which I didn't even know was a treatment option.  Anyway, I have wondered this a time or two, when reading your posts, and I thought I'd go ahead and ask.  Please don't be upset by my ignorance!


A and M, June 2012
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#11 of 205 Old 04-01-2011, 05:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miriam_bat_avraham View Post

You guys, I'm so sorry... I haven't been posting as much lately and it didn't occur tO me that duh, it's April now and time for a new thread... So I just disappeared from the March thread and thank you, Kyamo, for taking over! sorry I dropped the ball greensad.gif

I'm going to do some hardcore personals when I get back home (we're away for the weekend at an out of town wedding) and have my computer in front of me because there are some of you who I want to post longer replies to.


Hey, no problem at all.  It was already arranged for me to do April, and there was only one update left over from March, and that was just yesterday.  You have an excellent excuse not to be here much anymore!  winky.gif  

 

Have fun at the wedding!

 

Smiles - hopefully you're right and you are ovulating.  Get busy!

 

Objet - I'm sorry it caused such a rift.  It's amazing how people can still be so strongly pro-circ.  It's not stupid to stand up for your beliefs.  

 

AFM - Day 3 US was Wednesday, everything looks good to go.  I've started the letrozole now, next US is Sunday. fingersx.gif  

 

 


Mommy to  N baby.gif, born 2/20/12.

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#12 of 205 Old 04-01-2011, 06:18 PM
 
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I guess I feel more stupid for thinking she would be someone who would care enough to dialogue with, or at least be polite and not jump into the personal attacks. I'm used to people coming against me for my beliefs on things, I just didn't expect it from her, and didn't expect her to be so obnoxious about it. And I feel stupid for it because I've actually seen her be flippant and laugh at other people's concerns while acting like hers are the only valid concerns in the world. I just should have expected her to be like this, and I feel stupid for believing she could be better than that right to the very end.

It is better late than never though, it's good that I'm standing up to her now, instead of letting it get really out of hand.

TTC #1 My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/329153
 

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#13 of 205 Old 04-01-2011, 08:13 PM
 
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Monkey (30) + Pirate (28) = a forever family (5/10) - Baby Bird (8/12), our long-awaited first, one (9/13 @ 7w 6d), and Baby Yummy (10/6/14)

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#14 of 205 Old 04-01-2011, 09:02 PM
 
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So today was last day of clomid this cycle, and IUI might be as soon as Monday. Only I just acquired 2 feral kittens and have extra litter to clean /facepalm

 

Can my blurb be edited to say IUI#3 in April? :D


Mom to 3 , 1 , 10 hermit crabs, and a 156g stock tank pond with goldfish and lilypads!
IUI#4 success! Welcome Guy V 11/14/12
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#15 of 205 Old 04-02-2011, 05:29 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kinza View PostDoes the Church object to IUI's, as well as IVF?


Yes, the short answer is that nothing outside of BD may be done. In other words, Clomid and such are ok, but that's basically it. No problem whatsoever. :) I think it is always nice when people ask, rather than assume.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by objet_trouve View Post


I guess I feel more stupid for thinking she would be someone who would care enough to dialogue with, or at least be polite and not jump into the personal attacks. I'm used to people coming against me for my beliefs on things, I just didn't expect it from her, and didn't expect her to be so obnoxious about it. And I feel stupid for it because I've actually seen her be flippant and laugh at other people's concerns while acting like hers are the only valid concerns in the world. I just should have expected her to be like this, and I feel stupid for believing she could be better than that right to the very end.

 

I am so sorry that all this happened to you. However, I think it is also good to find honesty in a friendship. If a person acts in a not nice way, then I suppose there would have been something going wrong, sooner or later. If not this, then something else. As a religious person, I would not be offended by articles or whatever explaining a different point of view. It seems a bit strange not to just calmly say that she is not able to agree with the articles, or whatever.

 

We just went to a meeting having to do with inner healing. It was really interesting. Many people were there, thinking of things that had taken place in their earliest years. I was thinking, instead, of all the grief I have lived with in the past 4 years. As it is, there is no complete way out. I just have to keep living to see if the situation will ever change. There were a lot of people there from one of the countries from which we could adopt. It was interesting to see all these people, living in this country, and to think our son or daughter could look like them. However, at least at this point dh's gut feeling is that he does not want to adopt from said country, although we are in many ways what they would be looking for. (This is the only country I really think would "want" us, as we fit their requirements well.) So... Whatever happens, I just have to keep waiting and, meanwhile, try to live my life.

 


Mama to a little lady and always praying for more.
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#16 of 205 Old 04-02-2011, 06:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kparker View Post

So today was last day of clomid this cycle, and IUI might be as soon as Monday. Only I just acquired 2 feral kittens and have extra litter to clean /facepalm

 

Can my blurb be edited to say IUI#3 in April? :D



I skimmed past the part where you asked to have your blurb edited, then my brain told me a few seconds later after I scrolled to the next post, "HEY you are the one who is supposed to do that!".  LOL.   Done!

 

Good luck with your IUI.  I am also heading for IUI#3, probably about a week after yours.  


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#17 of 205 Old 04-02-2011, 07:28 AM
 
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I think seeing this thread so much makes me crave sushi! Dh and I have had sushi at least twice in the past month or so... and I had it by myself once, too. This compared to, like... once in the previous 6 months? Also, I have discovered that apparently I *can* eat raw-fish sushi (I had a previous bad experience and usually go for vegetarian or cooked), but that it really does nothing flavor-enhancing for me. Is there enough omega-3 in sushi to justify eating it on that grounds??

 

Anyway, here's to hoping April will be a fertile month for this thread!


Monkey (30) + Pirate (28) = a forever family (5/10) - Baby Bird (8/12), our long-awaited first, one (9/13 @ 7w 6d), and Baby Yummy (10/6/14)

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#18 of 205 Old 04-02-2011, 07:48 AM
 
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And also... April Fool's baby jokes are just not as funny to me as they might have been before. Luckily, I missed the ultrasound picture one of my dear friend's dh put up on Facebook until this morning, so I was sure it was a joke. But I was still sort of rankled by the "haha, of course this is a joke, we're newlyweds" thing - like it would be totally absurd to be pregnant when you've been married for 3.5 months. Sigh. Must get over my own personal issues! And then, of course, there was my (really) pregnant friend posting about entering her 3rd trimester right below that.


Monkey (30) + Pirate (28) = a forever family (5/10) - Baby Bird (8/12), our long-awaited first, one (9/13 @ 7w 6d), and Baby Yummy (10/6/14)

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#19 of 205 Old 04-02-2011, 10:54 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SimplyRochelle View Post

I might have had a two year old today if I hadn't miscarried. I really hate april fool's day for this reason. Just a cruel reminder of what I'm still no closer to getting.

 

And most of the ladies I got to know so well during that pregnancy are already pregnant with their second or have another baby already. Just feeling kinda low today. And it's super ugly outside with rain and clouds which never helps. I go straight from lecture to my nanny job where I'll love all over that sweet toddler but it's so bittersweet. 

 

I'm 4dpo today which is just so boring. Not a single thing to obsess about yet.

 

Thanks for letting me mope.



Me too. I don't dislike April Fools, I pretty much ignore it. But I am reminded by the littlest thing that I had a baby once (mmph, twice) and now I don't. I see toddlers and quickly do the math in my head for how old mine would be now. Sigh. All we can do is keep moving forward, and keep trying for that successful pregnancy. Hugs! And hey, you're not alone, we haven't all gone on to parenthood.

 


43 w/Emphysema - TTC from 2005 - 2013. 2 miscarriages in 2008. Good things do not come to those who wait.

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#20 of 205 Old 04-02-2011, 06:02 PM
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simplyrochelle - sorry. Hugs to you.

I should be having a baby any day now. My due date was April 11. Aries, like me.

Mom to DS 12/07 and DD 11/13, plus a bunch of chickens, dogs, and cats.

Moving past many years of infertility and always thinking of my friends in the infertility forums.

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#21 of 205 Old 04-02-2011, 09:41 PM
 
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I went out tonight with some of my old single (and formerly single) girlfriends. And three of them were pregnant. Two of whom were married after me, and one who isn't married at all. (Still haven't gotten any info on how that happened, not that it's my business, but certainly not an expected occurrence in this circle of friends.) When they started talking all this baby stuff, I kind of wanted to cry. Especially since two of them both want to use the same/similar name to what we plan on naming our first boy! Not that we're close enough friends for it to matter, but dh and I picked that name before WE were even married, let alone before these girls were married! And they're going to get to use it before us. gloomy.gif And Facebook is just full of pregnant people and new moms. BLEH!


Monkey (30) + Pirate (28) = a forever family (5/10) - Baby Bird (8/12), our long-awaited first, one (9/13 @ 7w 6d), and Baby Yummy (10/6/14)

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#22 of 205 Old 04-03-2011, 04:08 AM
 
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I am so sorry monkeyscience! That can be so very difficult.

 

I actually lost a wonderful, close friend, partly due to how she announced her pregnancy some years ago. She was the one person who knew that we were trying, with no luck, and she was trying for some time, also. She then made the "interesting" decision to kind of announce her pregnancy, quite late, while I was out with some friends, including her. Apparently, everyone else knew, and she made me react on the spot, with everyone else watching, by basically saying "Oh yeah, I guess you did not know I was pregnant." Umm.. No. I don't as of yet have the gift of reading people's thoughts. Either others do, or I was the only one not told.  While I love this friend, things have not been the same ever since. I could not believe that she had told everyone else, and not me. I understand that it may have been hard for her to tell me, as she knew how I felt. However, we had been so close and shared everything, so it really felt like a slap in the face. We are so very likeminded, I really miss her friendship. Yet, it has seemed to me that neither one has been able to deal with the other naturally, ever since this happened. Also, she is someone that will most likely have many more children, yet, in the next 15 years or so. In a sense I am relieved that we are no longer so close, so her announcements will most likely come by e-mail or... ugh... Facebook.

 

In the middle of all the pain I have had in the past years, I AM thankful for the lessons they have brought. I really am.


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#23 of 205 Old 04-03-2011, 08:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by monkeyscience View Post

I think seeing this thread so much makes me crave sushi!

Ugh! I hate sushi - I cannot put anything in my mouth that smells that bad! Hahah
 

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Originally Posted by monkeyscience View Post
Especially since two of them both want to use the same/similar name to what we plan on naming our first boy! Not that we're close enough friends for it to matter, but dh and I picked that name before WE were even married, let alone before these girls were married! And they're going to get to use it before us.

Ouch - That just plain sucks.  I feel your pain.  Actually, I was wondering if anyone else kind of felt like "their" names had been "stolen" out from under them?  When I was pregnant the first time, I had a boy's name and a girl's name picked out.  I was so excited about how special they were, and how they were "ours".  Since then, my cousin has named his dog the boy's name, and a Mama here used the girl's name for a miscarried baby.  I feel like I lost both of them.  It makes me sad. 
 


 


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#24 of 205 Old 04-03-2011, 08:39 PM
 
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grouphug.gif to everyone! I haven't posted for a couple days, come back, and see how sad everybody is. I'm so sorry ladies.

 

milk8shake & monkeyscience - some dear friends of ours named one of their twins our boy name. However, I didn't feel too bad about it because they had been trying for over 2 years and finally got their twins on their 3rd IUI. So, I felt like if they wanted to use that name then so be it. For all I know, they have loved that name forever. That said, sorry your names are being used now! And monkey, what an awful night for you.

 

Rochelle, Stevi, & rcr - Again, I'm just so sorry.

 

objet_trouve - what a bummer to lose your friend! Unfortunately though, I guess there are times in life people don't agree with us and they just can't manage to agree to disagree and still be friends. I really hate when that happens. I lost a friend over vaccinations. I told her we did not vax DS and she basically said that was stupid and I was risking his life, etc. I gently suggested some books she might want to read about the subject and she basically never was my friend again. I learned my lesson though..some topics are best broached only when you know the other person is really open to hearing it. So disappointing.

 

I wish we could all get together for some drinks and desserts. In my case the drink would be tea though, since I'm not a drinker..but just to be with some good company would be nice. I've been really down the past couple of days. I just am so worried it is never going to happen. And we have so much stress in general. I think DH might lose his job. I just can't stand the idea of yet another financial setback for us. Sigh. I just really would like something good to happen. Very soon.

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#25 of 205 Old 04-04-2011, 01:27 AM
 
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So sorry, lilmom. That sounds very stressful.

 

I am still trying to figure out what we will do this summer. Mainly, whether we will take the trip to visit the in-laws and other relatives. Luckily, I could not really decide, even if I wanted to, as it is up to dh's schedule.... which, again, we don't know yet. I am just trying to figure out how to cope, to be honest, and spending time with a toddler and a newborn is not really part of that plan. Yet, most of the relatives have not seen dd since she was 3, 3 years ago. It is something so hard to try to find a balance between one's own emotions and everyone else's. How much more suffering should I be willing to take on for the good of others, that sort of thing. I think I would be much more comfortable going if I felt that I was going to be "left alone" a bit. However, people just don't get it, so I know I would need to be oh so excited about the kids of the relatives, as well as any and all babies born to mil's friends' kids. Yeah, I love children, but I really don't need to know about every kid on the planet. If I don't know the parents, could we just agree I don't need to hear about their baby... And then I feel selfish, again, as I know it must make mil happy to talk about them. I dunno...


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#26 of 205 Old 04-04-2011, 03:43 AM
 
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monkeyhug.gif It's so hard to be dealing with all the troubles of getting pregnant and be surrounded by reminders everywhere.

 

milk8shake, I also don't like sushi. But I seem to be in the minority. My husband's office has a sushi menu option everyday, and all the other spouses I meet inevitably say, "hey, did you know if you visit your husband for lunch, they have sushi all the time? That's so great!" I don't get the sushi craze, but granted I don't like seafood at all. winky.gif

 

lilmom, I also don't drink, so I'll have a cup of tea, too. smile.gif Sorry you're having a tough time. How are your cycles doing lately?

 

lesstraveledby, I try to avoid situations with babies and pregnant women when possible. It's hard because I run a playgroup and live in the fertility capital of the world (at least it feels like that sometimes). I think avoidance of those situations is easier for me than pretending to be lalala constantly around them. I hope you find a solution that works best for you.

 

 

As for me, I'm feeling really down. I'm 10DPO and saw this "pre-spotting" thing I get (very slightly tinged toilet paper but not definitively anything) this morning. Also feeling crampy, though we all have a stomach virus right now, so I threw up last night. Everything is feeling old and far too familiar nowadays, like I'm caught in a neverending cycle. I had the same throwing up thing at the end of the TWW before xmas.

 

And I'm still upset about the obgyn visit last week. My appointment with the specialist is at the end of May, and I'm worried it will be more of the same. Maybe it will be better, but it's hard not to worry. No doctors seem willing to give any drugs to help with ovulation around here because they're all too busy covering their own rear ends. All I've had so far are lectures about how dangerous the drugs are and how if I end up in the hospital, they will be to blame. Um, I thought that's why they monitor women on these drugs?


Mama to our little boy (3) babyf.gif , the amazing super squirmer, almost born in the taxi...

and our new baby girl stork-girl.gif, caught by her daddy in our bathtub!

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#27 of 205 Old 04-04-2011, 06:33 PM
 
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Okay, I now have the letrezole, the dexamethasone, and a calendar! Now all I need is AF and we can get started! (Still on Provera, so not expecting AF till Sunday.)

 

Oh, and they mentioned at the RE today that they want me on progesterone supplements starting like... 3 DPO, or something? Umm... why didn't you mention this before? Although according to the nurse lady, they're really cheap. I wonder how important it really is that I take them, seeing as I don't have a diagnosed luteal phase defect. Part of me wants to do it, since it would be stupid to waste the whole cycle just because of a progesterone problem, but part of me is like... why extra hormones for no reason? I suddenly feel like I have not done enough research on several things. I'm leaning more toward the hCG shot, just because I don't have time to weigh the pros and cons, and they already ordered it for me at the doctor's today. :P That's going to be probably $100-$200.

 

On the plus side, the baseline ultrasound was clear of cysts, and I got my letrezole for $10 through Femara Cares, so that wasn't a major expense. Also, dh told me at the RE's office that his plan was to have sex 3-4x a day for the 3-4 days after the hCG trigger. I was like... umm... when will we have time for that? And, uh, won't you run out of sperm?? He said he'd heard he could take papaya to help him have more "stuff." I was both extremely amused and touched that he cared so much. I love having him totally on board with this process.

 

Anyway, now I have absolutely nothing to do but obsess for the next 6 days. And stare at the calendar which says I should get my beta done the day before Mother's Day. scared.gif


Monkey (30) + Pirate (28) = a forever family (5/10) - Baby Bird (8/12), our long-awaited first, one (9/13 @ 7w 6d), and Baby Yummy (10/6/14)

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#28 of 205 Old 04-04-2011, 08:54 PM
 
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SweetBee - I'm sorry you're feeling so down. Maybe the docs around there *don't* monitor women on the drugs and that's why they're so hesitant to prescribe them??!!? I know that is true in my current location. I am on a quest to try to find one ob.gyn in this town who will monitor me while giving me clomid. I don't know if it is going to happen. As for my cycle, well, acupuncture did get me to ovulate so I got the last one over with finally, and now this cycle I do seem to have slightly higher pre-O temps going on right now. I'm on CD18, no O yet, which of course is not surprising to me in the least. We'll see what happens. It really stinks that I had to quit acupuncture after finally finding someone who could do it here. So, like i said, just on a quest for a new ob/gyn right now....Oh yes, and I really, really hate sushi too. I love all other types of seafood though, and could eat seafood every day easily. But not raw seafood. So no sushi or oysters for me. Ick. I have the bitter thing down though, sadly.

 

LTB - If it were me, I would probably feel guilty that relatives had not seen my child in 3 yrs and that would probably be a huge factor for me, and I would do my best to just find some time to be alone during the visit, if that was possible. Right now, though, I do really well seeing most babies and toddlers. It's seeing pregnant women that bothers me most. Occasionally I have trouble with little babies, but that's really only when I am feeling a very strong sense of unfairness..the whole, "why does that family get to have yet another baby they don't care much for" syndrome. That sort of thing. So, maybe I am not a good person to suggest anything, since it seems that even just seeing the little ones is so difficult for you right now. I wish it wasn't! I am so sorry! At least you don't have to be the one deciding now. I know it is so hard when other people just don't get it at all.

 

monkey-  your DH sounds so cute! And I would totally be obsessing too in your shoes. I know you are so excited to get things started!! Hooray!

 

AFM, I am so happy to be going to the allergist tomorrow. I am praying they can really help me, because these seasonal allergies are really killing me this year. I want to be able to go out of the house without having to use my inhaler! Still worried about how whatever they may give me will affect ttc though. We are also downsizing to a smaller place in a few weeks, and I'm feeling stress over that. Good grief, I am one big ball of stress right now, and this cannot be healthy. Hopefully tomorrow's appt will go well and then I can get back down to business on finding a new ob.gyn.

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#29 of 205 Old 04-05-2011, 03:29 AM
 
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lesstraveledby, I try to avoid situations with babies and pregnant women when possible. It's hard because I run a playgroup and live in the fertility capital of the world (at least it feels like that sometimes). I think avoidance of those situations is easier for me than pretending to be lalala constantly around them. I hope you find a solution that works best for you.

 

As for me, I'm feeling really down. I'm 10DPO and saw this "pre-spotting" thing I get (very slightly tinged toilet paper but not definitively anything) this morning. Also feeling crampy, though we all have a stomach virus right now, so I threw up last night. Everything is feeling old and far too familiar nowadays, like I'm caught in a neverending cycle. I had the same throwing up thing at the end of the TWW before xmas.


Sweetbee, I also made the "mistake" of starting a playgroup years ago. I had to stop going, though, as we met far away, when I was too sich and tired due to my thyroid trouble. That was around the same time that basically everyone in the group had their 2nd child, while all the firsts were younger than our dd. So... I am glad I started the group, but had I known, I doubt that I would have. It was rough, as it felt like someone was announcing a pregnancy every single time I went there.

 

I know the hopeless feeling... I used to cramp throughout the TWW and it was really frustrating to feel like it was more of the same. I used progesterone cream for two or threee cycles, and the cramping never came back after that.


Hope you will feel better soon!

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Oh, and they mentioned at the RE today that they want me on progesterone supplements starting like... 3 DPO, or something?

 

TBH, I would find the progesterone to be among the "lighter" things, as you already on other stuff. But I think people here can tell you more about it... sounds like it is a common practice to add that, just in case.
 

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LTB - If it were me, I would probably feel guilty that relatives had not seen my child in 3 yrs and that would probably be a huge factor for me, and I would do my best to just find some time to be alone during the visit, if that was possible. Right now, though, I do really well seeing most babies and toddlers. It's seeing pregnant women that bothers me most. Occasionally I have trouble with little babies, but that's really only when I am feeling a very strong sense of unfairness..the whole, "why does that family get to have yet another baby they don't care much for" syndrome. That sort of thing. So, maybe I am not a good person to suggest anything, since it seems that even just seeing the little ones is so difficult for you right now. I wish it wasn't! I am so sorry! At least you don't have to be the one deciding now. I know it is so hard when other people just don't get it at all.


The thing is that it is only dh's two grandparents that I am thinking of, and only one of them would really care to see her, anyway. Parents have traveled here and thus have seen dd, and the rest of the family we are not really in touch with at all, so I don't find it a big deal whether they see her and she sees them or not. It is this whole "happy family game" of mils that really bothers me. IMO, she should just face the fact that people in her family are just not close and don't care whether they see each other or not. Having her grandkids (our 6 yo, a then 2 yo and a baby) under the same roof will do nothing other than give her some "Kodak moments." Honestly, if we go there, she will pressure this other family into flying there at the same time. Then all that will really happen is that she will have less time than normal for each pf the grandkids, and there will be a long gap again until she sees any of them. I just don't really get it. I am contemplating once again whether I should give her a bit more information about our situation and try to try to explain that things are sometimes very rough (even for dh, I think). I just have a feeling that I would get badly burned if I told her. She tends to care more about telling her friends (her version of things, yet) than thinking of the other person. Granted it was many, many yeard ago.... But she has done some amazingly terrible things to dh when he was a kid, just because she wanted to share everything with her friends. (I won't go into detail but I feel like throwing up of crying when I think of it.)

 


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#30 of 205 Old 04-05-2011, 05:20 AM
 
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LTB - why not send DD and DH together and come up with an excuse for yourself? It can be proper daddy-daughter bonding time, and you can have other plans already made ages ago ('old college friend coming to visit'/'going to visit an old friend'/'just not feeling up to travelling'/etc. 'An old friend suddenly needs your support' works in a pinch). I don't like telling straight up lies like that (and I've only needed to fall back on it a couple times), but sometimes I just don't feel social (whether it's with friends or family -- and I LOVE my in-laws), and it's better for everyone if I have cozy time at home alone with a book and a plate of black bean nachos. 

lillmom - good luck tomorrow with the allergist! There's an interesting (and kind of gross) story on This American Life about allergies and a certain parasite that we lack in developed countries (folks generally don't suffer from allergies at the same rate that we do in developing countries...):http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/404/enemy-camp-2010 It's a great radio show; one can listen to streaming episodes for free from their radio archive.

Monkeyscience - goodness, what a nail-biter of a wait. Good luck to you. As far as progesteron, my doctor gave inserts to me as a sort of "hey, try this, it can't hurt." I followed instructions for one cyle, it didn't change my cycle. But I didn't bother the next time (they were so darn MESSY, eew).The very next cycle, I had spotting throughout, from CD 8 (three days after my period was good and gone) until AF came. That's very sweet that your dh is ready to go all out. But 3-4 times a day? Mercy! 

 

All you sushi haters: Maybe you've just not been served really GOOD sushi before. I LOVE raw fish (lucky thing, since living in Sweden brings a lot of it my way), but there are tons of varieties without raw fish. My husband makes sushi quite often and it is divine. 

 

AFM: 7 days since my + opk and I'm not mustering the slightest symptom yet, imagined or otherwise. Got in some good BD, but my focus is on getting all our papers together for adoption. Unexplained infertility is such a strange place to be. I made the mistake of complaining to the doctor after the last of the exhaustive tests came back as normal or excellent, and she snapped at me to be grateful that everything looks good, that women with insurmountable infertility issues would love to have the hope that I have (being declared healthy, and having a biological child proving that things worked once). I felt very stupid and insensitive. But still, unexplained seems so unacceptable, considering what medical science can do...

 

 

 

 

 


(35) Teacher, mother to DD '08 + triplets (identical boys and a girl) born at 36 weeks gestation in ´11.  Passions: gardening, cooking, painting, fishing, wild food gathering, reading, kayaking and more.

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