April Showers of Bajingo Juice! TTC#1 in our 30s - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 264 Old 04-15-2011, 10:54 AM
 
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Caly, yay!!! So glad GSB came through!  Excited for you!dust.gif

 

Boots, I understand about the emotional feelings at the end of the year.  I often have some kind of dramatic mood shift at the end of the year, too.  Have you thought about working with

a therapist?  I've been working with one since this summer, when I got some shocking family news...and in talking with her, I realized just how much my job and working in a high-poverty area actually does get to me.  It feels really good to talk to someone who is impartial.  And insurance covers part of it. stillheart.gif

 

Hykue, good to see you!  It's okay that you're busy with the farm, of course you are, it's spring!flowersforyou.gif

 

Rosie, I don't know about testing...I should now be 7DPO.  So.  Just waiting. If we get another negative......I just don't know what I'll do!

 

Love to all of you, have to run.  joy.gif

 


dog2.gif Early childhood teacher, animal rescuer, guardian to 2 dogs and 2 cats.cat.gifjoy.gifOur little kumquat Rose is here!  Born 9/18!  joy.gifbfinfant.giffamilybed1.gif

 

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#122 of 264 Old 04-15-2011, 01:15 PM
 
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Thanks everyone for all the good vibes!  If I get pregnant this cycle, it will be because of the positive energy you've been sending my way.  I think GSB is feeling guilty for showing up late.  He decided to stick around a little longer - I got another +OPK at noon today.  I must have caught the beginning of my surge yesterday.  

 

Hykue, I love the idea of being showered in glittery baby dust!  Maybe next cycle I'll get some glittery body powder and douse myself in it during my fertile period.  I hope things are going well on the farm.

 

Rosie, I'd like to say I'm not going to test until 29th, but I'll probably start on the 25th.  I'm not sure how many tests I have left - I went a little nuts with them last month. blush.gif   fingersx.gif for you and Cath, my cycle buddies!

 

Birdie, I think a mental health day every week would be good for everyone!  When I read that, I twinkled my fingers in support, which is what we used to do in house meetings when I lived in the co-op.

 

Hang in there, Boots and Catheleni!  You'll get a break soon!  Unless you're teaching summer school...you're not, right?

 

Love and hugs to Taxihug.gif

 

 

 


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#123 of 264 Old 04-15-2011, 03:07 PM
 
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Taxi - What happens now? How long do you have to sit and wait for the next bit of news?

Married to my favorite man in '07. Our firstborn came along in April 2012 (HBC), and our second is on the way, due sometime in May 2014 (planning an HBAC).
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#124 of 264 Old 04-15-2011, 03:11 PM
 
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hi.. so I haven't been bleeding (sorry if that is TMI) and I go back to the office tomorrow for another blood test.  The Dr. strongly cautioned me yesterday, she said, you are pregnant but your numbers are so low I don't want you to get your hopes up.  I have to say - I am comforted knowing that it did work.. much more than thinking it didn't work.  So I'll have the test done tomorrow, the results will come in sometime around 4 pm. and go from there. 

 

Go Caly and catch that eggie!


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#125 of 264 Old 04-15-2011, 05:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Taxi, I can see how that would be comforting but still sooo stressful. The doc open Saturday? We'll all definitely be here checking in.

 

I really have nothing left to give at this point. I hate that Friday feeling.

 

Cath, I have had therapists in the past and I've been thinking about it again. school + ttc really got to me this year. It's interesting what you say about the added stress of working in a low-income neighborhood. I love my kids SO much, and the disappointments and hardships just hurt that much more, I feel like they need me (more on this later).  We just had a new student beat up one of our wonderful 8th grade girls who has been at our school since kinder and had all her family go there. I have cried twice about this (she was in my homeroom last year). The girl who did it is so disturbed and has had a tragic life. Sad on so many levels.

 

Also, I told Taxi but while I'm whining...I had my car keyed and had the word "Fat" carved into the hood by one of my students last week. This has been really hard for me because I spend TONS of money (probably over 1200 a year) on books for my kids, food, etc. I had just bought a bunch of food for my kids to eat during state testing, and I see that one of them apparently hates me enough to ruin my year-old car. We don't actually know who did it but I have some ideas. To make matters worse, my deductible is $1000 and the estimate for repair is 1500. My parents are going to help us pay for the repair. I am definitely lowering my deductible. Sometimes I really feel like this is a thankless job.

I have also realized something really important about my fear of going to the doctor. I really do believe 100% that there is a strong possibility I will be denied fertility treatment because of my weight. I knew this was an issue, but until I was hysterically crying "They won't help me" I didn't understand that was my main issue. I just want this stupid appointment over with. I also talked to huz about just not trying anymore, but I already have the appointment and I don't know if avoidance will help.

 

Sorry this is just a big brain dump. I know we always say this is a good space to vent but I feel like that's all I've been doing.

 

love to all.



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#126 of 264 Old 04-15-2011, 05:18 PM
 
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Thanks for all the welcomes. I have been lurking, trying to catch up on what everyone is going through. Taxlady, hoping your tiny embryo sticks. I can't imagine.

 

As for me, I am just starting the TWW. I expect that by 7 DPO, I will have completely convinced myself that I am pregnant. I will be scouring the internet once again for evidence that however I feel that day is a sign that an egg is implanting, even though I know that there are no symptoms that early. I will be looking at a calendar to figure out exactly what stage in my pregnancy I will be at what dates and start planning my life around that. I will start testing every day from 10 DPO and will keep convincing myself that it is just too early until AF comes on day 14. Just another cycle like any other for me.

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#127 of 264 Old 04-15-2011, 05:22 PM
 
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Boots, I would be sad if you left, and more sad if you pretended everything was hunky-dory when it's not. I know you know, but I want to reiterate, feel free to let it all out (obviously, I let whatever enters my head come out in here!). I kind of insinuated before, but I want to be really clear: I really, really appreciate your being a teacher. Especially to kids who need it most. I think teachers have such strong influences on kids. One of the many tragic pieces is sometimes you will never know the impact you've had on your kids. Many won't know or realize until late in life how important you were for them. I know I didn't. 

 

That being said, I'd want to SCREAM at my class if someone keyed my car. GRRR. Can the administration help at all? 

 

:hug 

 

If your doc tells you that you can't get treatment due to your weight, I hope you fire the doc, review him on the doctor review sites, and find a new one! You are the customer...and you deserve respect and to be well-treated. 


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#128 of 264 Old 04-15-2011, 05:26 PM
 
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Boots.. we are all right here.  I just know that there is no way a doctor is going to look you straight in the face and say.. I will not help you because of your weight.  That is not going to happen.  That is really not going to happen.  NOT once has any doctor said anything about my weight and I know that according to guidelines I am out of the range.  I was terrified before my appointment.. not sure why our brains go to the negative but I think it's a protection thing.  If we gear up for the worst then we're prepared for it?  Does it ever happen??  Not usually.  I know you are exhausted.  It's Friday after a long week and your constitution is broken.  The car thing just sucks.. and I truly believe the kid who did it doesn't hate you but hates something else.. you're probably the nicest person to them and they don't know how to handle it - so they lashed out at your car.  You are a beautiful person.  You just spelled it out for us, bringing these poor children snacks so they can do well on their tests while most of them weren't even served breakfast at home.  Teaching is a thankless job.. it takes a special person.  You are so special.  XOXOX  grouphug.gif


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#129 of 264 Old 04-15-2011, 05:53 PM
 
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Oh Boots, I can not believe someone keyed that into your carCuss.gif It's not a reflection on you but rather on the person who did such a horrible, cruel thing. I don't know why people need to hurt others to make themselves feel good. I'm sure the Docs won't just turn you away based on weight. You know it's times like this when our fears start to control our thoughts too much, the more negatives going on the harder it is too stay positive, but I'm sure the appointment will be helpful.


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#130 of 264 Old 04-15-2011, 05:56 PM
 
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and Hello to Laurucha! Your 2ww sounds soo familiar....let the craziness begin!


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#131 of 264 Old 04-15-2011, 05:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Taxi, I am so lucky! I truly think teachers spouses are (mostly) totally awesome people, to support someone who is half-crazy half the time. So I am so lucky because I have my dear huz and I have my internet wifey to love me too. :) You always make me feel better, even when you're going through all this craziness yourself.  Ha, my kids are served breakfast, in my classroom! We are Title I and we have breakfast and lunch every day. Thankfully I am not alone nurturing these kids. We have a great school and I am happy to work there. Except, feeding all these kids in our rooms in AZ means ANTS. And I do have to say we have shitty janitors who are the only ones who aren't on board. While I am complaining! The list! Keyed car! OBGYN terror! Ants! hehe. I am going to make a horror movie full of angry adolescents, vandalism, speculums and ANTS. ;)

I am glad I typed it out and forced myself to admit it, because I think you are right, Taxi. No doctor is going to say that to me, even though I am "morbidly" obese. The media makes a huge deal about numbers and the obesity crisis and stupid Biggest Loser but I do need a dose of rationality, here, doctors are still professionals. I did some googling (which is obviously how I deal with stress, hehe) and the only information I can find about fat women being denied infertility treatment is in the UK. It seems like they offer free IVF (!) through their NHS and they made or attempted to make (Rosieposie: I am not as thorough at the research as you) a stipulation to deny it to obese women.
Let's just take a second to boggle at the idea of free IVF from the government, why don't we?

 



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#132 of 264 Old 04-16-2011, 06:49 AM
 
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I just put in a TON of seeds last night and it's raining like crazy today. So happy!


Married to my favorite man in '07. Our firstborn came along in April 2012 (HBC), and our second is on the way, due sometime in May 2014 (planning an HBAC).
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#133 of 264 Old 04-16-2011, 08:30 AM
 
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Bootsie-I'm so sorry to hear what happened I don't know what else to say. Both of my parents were teachers although now they're retired and several of my friends are currently teaching. It is hard work...I remember my mother sitting with me when I was in grade school making me go over my multiplication tables again, and again, and again...I owe the world to her! As for the doctor's comment I think that's horrible. What happened to being a medical professional?

Taxie-I hope your visit to the doctor is a good one. I'm thinking happy thoughts to you and your eggs!!

Laurucha-welcome!! You've found a great place for the 2ww!

RosieL-I hope your seeds hang in there...I wish I had a green thumb but I don't so I'm left to admiring the gardens of those who do!

Calycanth-good luck! I'm so glad you caught your surge!! Mine just started today...baby dust, baby dust, baby dust...joy.gif

Hello to Ram, Cath, Birdie and every TTC-er!!

What a difference a week makes-I thought I has already O'd but after getting another BFN this morning, I did another OPK and it was screamingly positive. As in the test line was dark purple and the control line pink. So while I can't figure out why I had an LH surge so early on CD5-CD6, those were
dark OPK but not positive. I guess this is what I get for switching to the Internet OPK-inexpensive, easy to read but until you see what a + looks like, hard to interpret. But I think I'm on to a pattern here - this is the second cycle where about a week before I O'd, my body threw me for a huge loop. This is the third cycle where i've gotten calf cramps the day before and day after I get the + OPK.

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#134 of 264 Old 04-16-2011, 10:05 AM
 
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Taxlady, I am praying that those little eggs keep themselves attached inside of you!  I am hoping the hormones your doctor was talking about will increase as those babies stick around (I think I remember you saying there were 2 eggs implanted, right?)

 

I just keep reminding myself I am one more day closer being pregnant.  My  husband keeps joking that he is adding the batter to the mix but it needs eggs!  It makes me laugh.

 

Bootsvalentine, I am so sorry about your experiences at school.  As a teacher myself, I know the feeling.  I went on a senior class trip as a sponsor/chaperone a few years ago.  I later saw a picture online of two of the students standing one in each of my pant legs of a pair of pants I had in my suitcase.  I was mortified.  No one has ever called me fat to my face, but obviously the teenage kids thought it was funny.  As I read the comments on facebook below the picture, I know the story was shared far and wide.  Needless to say, I won't write letters of recommendation for those kids or the other commenters on the picture.  We work so hard to help these kids, and all we get is disrespect from them.  I am thankful for the kids that come back to my school and say, "I am so greatful for what you did for me..."  That is what keeps me going especially after having parents yell at me or have kids that disrespect me.

 

 


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#135 of 264 Old 04-16-2011, 11:23 AM
 
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Taxi, I'm praying.gif that your numbers are up today.  It's totally possible that your bleeding the day before your last appointment was implantation bleeding.  That's what I'm hoping. hug2.gif

 

Bootsie, kids can be awful, awful creatures.  I am so sorry they did that.  I really think people who work in the helping professions should get hazard pay.  Seriously.  And I know I said this before, but I think going into your appointment prepared to be your own advocate is really important.  I do think it's possible that the doctor will suggest you try to lose weight before s/he agrees to fertility treatments (this happened to one of my friends - who, I should note, eventually found a good doctor who did help her - she's now pregnant with her second!).  If that happens, I hope you give him/her a piece of your mind, walk out the door, and say censored.gif 'em, because there are doctors who will help you, and you are just as deserving of good care as anyone else on this planet!

 

Rosie, what are you growing? I want a garden but am afraid that anything I try to grow will die (a fear that's based on my experience with houseplants orngtongue.gif). 

 

Cath, I think that's really perceptive.  Working in an impoverished area is hard.  Sometimes it's difficult to acknowledge that (at least it is for me), because I'm lucky - I get to go home to my relatively peaceful and comfortable existence at the end of the day.  But working with a population that is in permanent emergency mode can be very draining, not to mention heartbreaking.  I've been feeling pretty cynical and angry lately, and I think the things I see at work have a lot to do with that.  My hubby is a political junkie, and it's gotten to the point that we can't even talk about the news because I find it too upsetting.

 

Northstar, yay!  I was wondering what happened with your cycle.  I'm glad you'll be joining us in the 2WW soon.  Seems like there a lot of us cycling together...you, me, Rosie, Cath, Laurucha.  I'm looking forward to seeing some BFPs over the next couple of weeks. fingersx.gif

 

AFM: Well, after two days of positive OPKs, GSB took his leave this morning.  I hope that means I O'd.  I took my temperature when I woke up just to see if it's in my typical post-O range, and it was still pretty low.  So, although my ladyparts are ready for a break, we'll have another go at it today.  Hopefully my temp will be up tomorrow.

 

Hope everyone has a relaxing weekend!


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#136 of 264 Old 04-16-2011, 12:52 PM
 
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Caly - lol@ladyparts needing a break. DH said the same about his manbits, but I wasn't having it and he eventually acquiesced. ;)  

 

Growing like crazy overwinter - garlic, shallots, kale (just pulled the kale to make room for summer stuff!)

Sprouting now - lettuces (a variety of bib, romaine, and different leafs), peas (shelling, snap, and snow), turnips, radishes

Seeded yesterday - Beets, Broccoli, Carrots, Cilantro, Cucumbers, Dill, Green beans, Kale, Melons, Spring Onions, Bulb Onions (from seed, we shall see!), Parsley, Pumpkins, Yellow Squash, Zucchini, Beans

To be planted - Tomatoes, cabbage, hot peppers, basil, and probably other stuff that catches my eye at the garden store. 

 

I tried for several years to have houseplants, and I killed them all. I tried having an office plant, and killed it. Something switched in my brain when it came time to try a veggie garden. I think it's because the results mean yummy food. I'm going to try a flower bed this season...I'll report back on whether my flower thumb is black or green.

 

Taxi - Thinking of you today. 


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#137 of 264 Old 04-16-2011, 03:14 PM
 
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***TMI ALERT***

 

Rosie, my DH said the same thing about his manbits last night!  Actually, he said his taint hurt. (We were having this conversation in a crowded BBQ restaurant, by the way.)  I was like...why?  I mean, his taint isn't directly involved in the process.  He explained that the muscles in his groin area in general felt tired and sore, and that his balls felt "emptied out."  LOL.  I had no idea that was possible.  When we woke up this morning, I asked him if his balls felt replenished, and he said they did, so I guess we're good to go tonight. thumb.gif

 

Oh, I'm so jealous of your garden!  There's nothing like fresh garden peas!  I wonder if it's still early enough to plant something here.  If my landlords don't mind me putting in a bed, maybe I could experiment with just a few veggies...


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#138 of 264 Old 04-16-2011, 03:51 PM
 
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LOL@ TMI alert and the description that followed. I'm glad he feels "replenished!" Haha! To be honest, I feel like we might have over did it this month. We took the Bangin' Daily Bonanza to heart! 

 

Screen shot 2011-04-16 at 6.48.48 PM.png

 

There's definitely still plenty of time to plant in OH, and in fact it's probably too early for some things. I planed everything in May my first year because we didn't get the beds ready till then (bought at end of March). We still got tons of good produce. Go for it! Containers are great too. And peas are pretty if you have a fence somewhere you can train them to. 


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#139 of 264 Old 04-16-2011, 04:16 PM
 
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Holy guacamole!  If you don't get a BFP this month, it certainly won't be for lack of trying. orngtongue.gif


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#140 of 264 Old 04-16-2011, 04:18 PM
 
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RosieL, where did you get your chart thing or did you just make it up?


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#141 of 264 Old 04-16-2011, 06:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi everyone, thanks for all the kind words. I really, really appreciate the support.

 

Taxi, thinking of you! Be kind to yourself.

 

Rosie, I saw Taxi's post before yours, weird!  go little seedlings! I'm such a complete ignoramus about gardening, our first plants are our lantana in our planters by the front of our house, and I worry about them all the time. hehe. Thanks for saying that you appreciate teachers. What's going on right now in the media vilifying teachers is just really, really bizarre. It's good to be reminded that most people don't feel that way. My administrators really can't do anything unless we have some idea who did it. I have an idea, but the kid is so messed up, I think it would be a mistake to question him unless we get some more proof or hear a rumor.  You are so right about how to deal with the doc if she says she won't help. We wouldn't have our house if we had listened to the first realtor we talked to who said we weren't ready. Girl, that is BD Bonanza FOR REAL. Wow.

 

Ramzubo, you are so right about fear and negative thoughts. It's okay to have them, but when they take over things get ugly. I believe Yoda said that. ;)

 

Northstar, thanks for your comment. Parents both teachers...hehe..did you ever think about teaching? I never did until it just kind of happened, my grandma was a reading teacher, too.

 

Caly, you are so right to remind me about everything about advocating for yourself at the doc. Thanks for sharing that about your friend, I am glad she kept going! I am in awe of the sore taint, I had no idea, hehe. Huz has never complained, but I sure do. Last month I think I pulled a thigh muscle. ha. I am also almost always in danger of falling off the bed.

 

lilac, thanks so much for sharing your own experience. It is so crappy when kids do things like that. I have been called a fatass to my face, well more like muttered under breath but that girl was not long for our school, anyway. Someone on another teaching forum said that it doesn't bother her to be called fat or a bitch because those things are pretty true. I like that  attitude, sometimes it is necessary. I know that our kids don't really think of us as real people. I'm sorry that happened to you but I'm glad you're here, not too embarrassed to share the story and you're still teaching. That's the kind of thing I needed to hear.  I've been fat my whole life and I've already gone through middle school, thank you, and being teased. BTW, all the charts being posted are from Fertility Friend.

 

I just wanted to say (and remind myself) that for the most part I have amazing, wonderful students. They are polite, they are studious, and they are almost always respectful. Kids leave their backpacks in front of our classrooms and nobody ever has anything stolen.  Many of them just love to hang around and talk to us. This year I have had TONS of success getting my kids to become enthusiastic readers. I was so tired Friday and actually getting semi-annoyed at how many of them were running up to me and telling me about the book they finished or asking for book recommendations (some of them hadn't seen me all week because of state tests). I also have a great team and a supportive admin. So when something like this happens, it's jarring because we've created this sense of safety at our school but the reality of the neighborhood and our students lives creeps in sometimes. Of course, it still sucks on a personal level, too. I love my little orange car.

 

 

AFMB (as for my bajingo) Still no + OPK (ICs). CD...(pause to check) 16. Completely forgot to take soy this month.  FINALLY it is going to be the week of the appointment (thurs). I've asked huz to see if he can come along, we'll see if he can get away. We're also having houseguests this weekend and want to get the car fixed, so it might be a busy end of week.

 

joy.gifall



ecstatic about BFP #2 after another round of Clomid,
TWINS!
EDD 2/15/2015
thrilled to welcome #1 after 17 months of ttc, 1 round of Clomid

DS LG  08/03/12
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#142 of 264 Old 04-17-2011, 05:04 AM
 
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Bootsie-I'm glad you're feeling better it sounds like you have way too much going on right now!! I hope your house guests treat you guys well. Funny, I thought about teaching but I was a nanny for years, a camp counselor, a summer school teacher but although i've never been a teacher, I'm drawn to working with kids. And I apply everything I learn to my current office job and it works pretty well, I am so sorry about your car...I hope you get it fixed. Last cycle I was under a tremendous amount of stress and my O went from 17 to 23 and back to 23 this cycle. That was one reason why I startes testing before I went to work and when got back as I got closer to the day because my surge seems to be less than 24 hours. But I caught each of them and I'm sure you will too. Hugs:joy

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#143 of 264 Old 04-18-2011, 04:26 AM
 
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I'm sittin' at ~3-6DPO thinking "do I really want to be pregnant this time around?" For saying that, I'm nuts. But there are positives and negatives to the timing of every cycle, I suppose. Being preggo now would mean delivering during break and having almost a month of no school obligations. It would also mean not getting to take advantage of a free trip to China. So, I'm ambivalent. nut.gif

 

 

 

Happy Monday everyone! New week, Spring is rolling in, and I hope the pollen doesn't affect you guys too much! Apparently it's affecting my sanity.


Married to my favorite man in '07. Our firstborn came along in April 2012 (HBC), and our second is on the way, due sometime in May 2014 (planning an HBAC).
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#144 of 264 Old 04-18-2011, 04:45 AM
 
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Taxi - Just want you to know I'm thinking of you! 

 

Boots - Lots of hugs to you... hug2.gif... You sure have had a lot going on.  I really do appreciate good teachers that care about their students and their jobs.  I have friends that are teachers (good teachers, like you), and they tell me the stories of their kids, and the stories of their co-workers that don't care.  So THANK YOU for what you do.  And I'll be thinking of you as Thursday approaches... I hope it goes great. 

 

Hi to everyone else! 

 

I made it through the wedding I was in this weekend - even though it was interrupted mid-wedding for a tornado warning, and ended up being a candlelight wedding/reception due to lack of power.  Oh, and I nearly fainted and had to leave the room.  It was quite eventful! 


Valerie - Happily married to DH since 09/08 love.gif


Baby Jacob's finally here!!  10/4/11  babyboy.gif

 

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#145 of 264 Old 04-18-2011, 06:15 AM
 
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Rosie, I know what you mean.  Sometimes the timing is great, sometimes it's not.  Sometimes I feel ambivalent about having children at all.  I feel like maybe I shouldn't be admitting that here, but there it is.  Most of the time, though, I just want to get pregnant ASAP.  

 

Val, sounds like a memorable wedding/reception!  Glad you made it though the festivities unscathed. winky.gif

 

Taxlady, love you. hug2.gif

 

I'm having one of those "everyone is pregnant but me" days.  One of my many pregnant friends gave birth to a baby girl yesterday.  I'm really happy for her and her husband (I adore them, and I know they'll make terrific parents), but I also just want to cry.  When I went grocery shopping this weekend, I counted nine obviously pregnant women in the store.  Yeah...I'm counting pregnant women now. eyesroll.gif


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#146 of 264 Old 04-18-2011, 06:28 AM
 
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Hi friends.. so AF is here.. she pushed through and it's over.  The doctor says we can start the frozen embryo cycle this month if we want to.  Gotta talk to DH.  I'll write more, right now I just cannot believe it is Monday.  I had two days off in a row and it was wonderful.  The last time I had a full weekend was 9 weeks ago.  Gotta work today and tomorrow and then I am taking the rest of the week off.  Really looking forward to it!  

 

Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers.  

 

Now, let's get a BFP on here!!


Married to DH since 7/08 - TTC since 8/09
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#147 of 264 Old 04-18-2011, 09:38 AM
 
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TaxLady - hug2.gif and praying.gif to you.  It will happen.  There really isn't anything I can say to make it better, so my words will just go to the goodvibes.gif for the next cycle.

 

Hello to everyone!  ValH  wave.gif  Boots, Birdie, Caly, Cathleni, Ramzubo, TickleToes, Hykue, and EVERONE in the BJ Club.  It took me awhile to catch up, but it is so wonderful to read about heartbeats and hug2.gifgrouphug.gif for those that AF decided to visit.  Thank you for the shout outs, too!  I am still here and lurking when I can.  Welcome to the newer members!  Hope your stay is short!

 

AFM - Had my HSG done and all looks good. (As well as the test shows anyway.)  I also had my first appointment with the RE and as soon as AF shows her ugly head I just get some further testing done.  That and DH get to.....you know.  winky.gif  (He's excited...)

 

I must admit, I was scared about what the Dr. would say about my weight, and I did leave the appointment feeling like I had the word "F A T" on my forehead (did that to myself), but the he just said lowering my weight will help.  I have lost 20lbs since the beginning of December, so that makes me feel good.  As bad as I want a BFP its so hard to lose weight.  (That and I'm tired of dieting!  & food makes everything better!)  DH is going to join WeightWatchers with me, so hopefully that renews my dieting outlook.  We'll see. 

I didn't use GSB's this cycle so I hope I O'd already so AF will come (weird, right?)  DH was out of town so if I did O last week we were out anyway.  (I was trying to check my cervix, but it always feels the same to me.  So much for that adventure.) 

I will keep you wonderful ladies posted!

 

I feel like a broken record, but again I must say if only I had known the type of roller coaster ride this whole TTC would be.  The depression and sadness that follows the initial feelings of joy I have for my pregnant friends/friends who text me when their babies are born.  I love them and am so happy for them, but why can't that be me?  (Especially the ones you told you were going to TTC, and then they announce their pregnancy a year later...)  Anyway, I woke up this morning eager to catch up with you all!  Need to get back to the glass half full mentality...

 

   dust.gif  fingersx.gif    goodvibes.gif    joy.gif    flowersforyou.gif      blowkiss.gif    carrot.gif      banana.gif We will conceive, we will conceive, we will conceive...


My twins are here!  Thank God everyday for answered  praying.gif

 

 

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#148 of 264 Old 04-18-2011, 10:40 AM
 
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Oh wow.. after sort of taking a break over the weekend you gals were busy.

 

I've been totally just AFM and luckily now I have time and can really catch up with all of you.

 

Thank you for all the hugs, love and support.  You know how we sort of get depressed when AF arrives?  It was sort of like a double depression this time.  But just like always.. that mood passes and I'm just happy we can try again.  smile.gif

 

Boots.. I am totally cool with being your internet wifey during your last few weeks of school.  It's perfect timing, DH does almost 100% of the cooking and dishes for the 9 or so weeks I'm in tax season, then I finish and I help him get to the end of the school year.  So, here I am.. ready for duty.  flowersforyou.gif  Thursday is the appointment and I'm looking forward to hearing that you have a good doctor with good ideas.  Nobody should have to do any of this alone - Sometimes, I try and remind myself to think, when has anything turned out as bad as you thought it was going to?? 

 

Bel718 - I'm glad you updated us!  So happy you're still around and I'm glad you brought that half full attitude.  I needed to remind myself of it and that is something you were always so good at.  KEEPING US THINKING POSITIVELY!  Awesome that you had the HSG and everything looks good.  I'm so glad you're going to see an RE, there are so many things they can do to help us get to that goal.  Is your DH really excited?  Mine was too, and even after we found out the results weren't the best, he was fine and it answered so many questions.  WE WILL CONCEIVE!  joy.gif

 

Valh - how's it going with your MIL?  That is a crazy wedding story.  I thought about you when I heard about the tornados.. what a memorable and scary wedding day.  I've never heard a tornado alarm except on T.V., I'm glad everyone is alright and that you fit into your dress.  Dinner by candlelight is romantic.  Thank you so much for your kind words as I've been going through this.  hug2.gifAre you going to find out what you are having?  stork-girl.gif (my brain just said girl in my ear).

 

Caly.. I'm starting to feel a little like that.. everyone is pregnant except me.  But then I'm also sort of feeling ambivalent too.  I mean, we are going to keep trying and keep trying after that.. but right now I don't really feel like I'm in a hurry.  Maybe that's a protection thought..although I too want to get pregnant ASAP.  I hope you caught the egg!  fingersx.gif

 

RosieL.. same thing!!  If I had gotten pregnant this time, the due date was going to be my birthday.  3 days before Christmas.  I've loved my birthday, but I've also had a hard time with it sometimes.  DH and I looked at each other on Friday night and said almost at the same time, we/you didn't want to share your birthday with something else anyway!  SO in your case, if you get pregnant, AWESOME!!!!  If not.. China will be really cool!!!!  So there is a good side to the results of the month in any case.  With that BD Bonanza.. I think you've got a shot.. don't pack those bags yet.  winky.gif  I hope you will let us know if you post more pictures of your garden.. I can't wait to see what happens.

 

Laurucha.. I personally think that convincing yourself that you are pregnant is a great thing to do.  I know that next time I'm going to be more positive.  There is power in positive thinking.  thumbsup.gif

 

Hi Lilac, Cathalini, Hykue, Ramzubo.. I know I'm forgetting someone, I'm sorry - I don't mean too.  You guys mean so much to me.  Thank you.  Umm and by the way.. I am going to go chart stalk, but so many of us have stopped temping.  orngtongue.gif  It's kind of hard to remember where everyone is in their cycle.  Maybe I will temp this month just for fun.  shrug.gif I dunno, at least it gives us something to look at.  Shellhawk's got a good rise going.. hey Shellhawk are you lurking? 

 

 

 

 


Married to DH since 7/08 - TTC since 8/09
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#149 of 264 Old 04-18-2011, 10:46 AM
 
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Taxi - hug2.gif  for AF showing.  But I do like the positive attitude and what you said about at least knowing that it worked - that is a great outlook to have!  You got it to work once, you WILL get it to work again, and next time it will stick.  Good luck making it through today and tomorrow, and I hope you can enjoy your day off after that. 

 

Caly - hug2.gif for you too.  And yay for you for putting into words how you feel - never feel bad about "admitting" something here.  I know I also had my ambivalent moments in the TTC journey too - I think it's perfectly normal.  I am really hoping that you're going to get one of those infamous "not feeling it this cycle" BFPs.  Nothing would make me happier - except to see everyone in here get their BFPs all at once.

 

Bel - HEY!!  It's great to see your name pop up in here again.  I'm glad the HSG went well and didn't show any problems.  As odd as it may sound, I hope you get AF soon so that you can get started on all of your testing... or I hope you get a BFP before you need to do anymore testing... ;) 

 

 


Valerie - Happily married to DH since 09/08 love.gif


Baby Jacob's finally here!!  10/4/11  babyboy.gif

 

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#150 of 264 Old 04-18-2011, 05:32 PM
 
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Boots - I'm a bit late, but that really does suck about your car.  It sounds like you're an amazing teacher.  I grew up in a different school system (and I guess lived in a different socioeconomic area) but the fact that you care enough about your kids to bring them food so they can concentrate better while they are testing really impresses me.

 

Taxlady - Hugs to you.  I know there's not much we can say, but I will keep praying that next time it sticks.  I'm glad that you are sounding positive.

 

AFM - Mostly I'm pretty optimistic that it will happen eventually, but what I'm most tired of is not doing stuff in the 2WW.  Not drinking is not a huge deal for me, but all last summer I didn't mountain bike or wake surf or do anything too strenuous in the 2WW, and all winter I took it really easy snowboarding in the 2WW and all for nothing!!!  Now we are going to Hawaii next week and it will be from 8DPO through 16DPO.  I really want to surf, but I'm not that good, and I think being held under or taking a big fall would be pretty bad if we had managed to conceive.  If I actually WAS pregnant I wouldn't mind at all, but if I don't surf and am not pregnant that will make me frowny. Do you all stop doing stuff in the 2WW?  Do you think I should go ahead and do this stuff?  I really don't think I will surf - "just in case", but we're also talking about going to the top of Mauna Kea (14,000 feet) and I read that it's not good for pregnant women to go to that altitude.  Do you think that means really pregnant women, like the baby is a little further along.  I don't know that there is even a placenta at 8 - 16DPO, so maybe it won't matter for the oxygen??  Oy.  And this is what I think about so hard and then it might not even matter!  Sorry, just my little rant.  Wish I could have planned the vacation for pre-O so I wouldn't have to think about it.  Rosie and Caly - I definitely have ambivalent times too.

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