Bitter Sushi Ladies, June 2011 - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 127 Old 06-06-2011, 04:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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heartbeat.gif Welcome to the June Thread heartbeat.gif

 

 

This is a thread for those who have been TTC for a long time, whether 6 months, 12 months, or more. At this point many of us are at or past 1 or 2 years, many have had losses, many are dealing with various forms of infertility, and some are just in a waiting period until they can TTC again.

 

The name? Well, all things considered we tend to be a little bitter sometimes. So read with care. And due to everything, our emotions run a little raw like sushi. Too many cycles of BFN and CD1 sushi & sake to console ourselves. This TTC business is something that seems to "just happen" for so many...but we just can't seem to get it right. So this is where we can be together, share and express anything.

 

 

Current Bitter Sushi Ladies

 

abstract

33, and DH (36), TTC (his #2, my #1) off-and-on since November 2006

AGreenMum10

Trying since Nov 2009 , 1 ectopic - down a tube (May 2010), 2 losses (Aug 2010 & Jan 2011)

amo4piano

TTC #1 since Jan 2010, one m/c at 10.5 weeks

Attached2Elijah

Hoping for #3 for 4 years and 3 months with 6 months hard TTC (charting, etc) after previous unexplained secondary infertility.BFPChart2.gif

blueyezz4

TTC #1 (technically #4-long story) since 2006; Moving on to our first FET after 5 failed IUI's and 1 IVF

collieflower

TTC #2 for 2 years, with 4 m/c (and another before DC#1)

enigo

Has one beautiful son, trying to conceive after three losses

InWaiting

TTC #1 since 04/2009 with one ectopic (11/09), one missed miscarriage (11/10),

Hypothyroidism and compound heterozygous MTHFR mutation. Current regimen is 5 mg of Femara on CD 3-7.

indianagrl

36, TTC for a little over two years onto IUI and clomid

jenger

Mama to DD (4/07) TTC #2 since August 2009. BFPChart2.gif

jennabella

TTC #2 since July 2009, with a loss in February 2010 and a loss in July 2010

kinza

TTC #1 since November 2008, with PCOS and Male Factor BFPChart2.gif

kparker

TTC #1 since 9/08 with male factor, IUI #4 ???

Kyamo

TTC #1 since Jan 2010 with PCOS BFPChart2.gif

lilmom

35, TTC #2 for a year and a half with PCOS and rarely ovulating

littlest birds

TTC for 16+ months after VR BFPChart2.gif

luminesce

TTC #2 since 4/2010 after 3 years of unexplained infertility with #1

Milk8shake

Jayde (27) - TTC #1 since 4/09. Battling endo, uterine abnormality and recurrent pregnancy loss. Hoping for a take-home baby in 2012.

monkeyscience

me (27) and dh (25) TTC #1 with PCOS since 6/10. One failed Femara cycle... going natural until there's more cash

Objet_Trouve

TTC #1 since Jan 2010 with PCOS BFPChart2.gif

rcr

TTC #2 since 12/2007, one loss in September 2010, one failed IVF in February 2011 BFPChart2.gif

SimplyRochelle

TTC #1 on and off since 5/2007, m/c at 12 weeks 9/08.

Smilesarefree

36 year old mom of one wonderful dd trying for another since April 2010

sweetest77

TTC 2+ years after VR, 1 loss (6/11)

Vivica2

TTC #3 with regular ovulation and no success for 14 months BFPChart2.gif

yoyonana

34 , DH 31, TTC for 3 years, done all kinds of tests, unexplained infertilitty

ZanneMom

TTC #2 for more than 12 months

 

 

hug2.gif In our thoughts, on hold, and/or waiting hug2.gif

 

 

silverbird

ttc #1 since June 2010, after a two year delay for illness.  Husband passed away 5/25/11 candle.gif

mi_dawn

lost baby William (born still 4/09) and two m/c in 09.

 

 

 

dust.gif BSL BFPs!!! Stick little babies, stick, stick, stick... 

laggie - due early 2/2012 stork-suprise.gif

MommyMatsumoto - due 1/2012 stork-suprise.gif

Emaya - due 1/2012 stork-suprise.gif

Sweet.Bee - due 1/15/2012 stork-suprise.gif

lavatea - due 12/2011 stork-suprise.gif

miriam bat avraham - due 11/28/2011 stork-suprise.gif stork-suprise.gif

Rachel88 - due 11/20/2011 stork-suprise.gif

MahnaMahna - due 11/2011 stork-suprise.gif

Jane - due 10/3/2011 stork-boy.gif

grahnola mum - due 10/3/2011 stork-suprise.gif

borobaby - due 9/12/2011 stork-girl.gif

justthinkn - due 9/2/2011 stork-suprise.gif

Tear78 - due 8/4/2011 stork-girl.gif

Maurine - due 8/2/2011 stork-boy.gif

CLH_X3 - due 7/13/11 stork-suprise.gif

 

 

 

2whistle.gif Waiting on an update... 2whistle.gif

babygrey - due 4/2011 with twins! stork-girl.gif stork-boy.gif

grapesbunch - due 1/13/11 stork-girl.gif

rachwms - Due 11/10 stork-suprise.gif

 

 

joy.gif BSL BABIES joy.gif

 

slylives - Cameron 6/15/11

kalamos23 - baby boy 4/28/11

xtara2003x - Emerson Rae 4/27/11

jenniferadurham - Ryan born 3/28/11!

Nanette56 - Tristan and Cael born 3/18/11!

finnegansmom - Henry born 2/11!

jessica_s - Asher Kingston 1/20/11 

QBear'sMama - Jack Everett 12/17/10!

BarefootGirl - DS 11/20/10!

kellyttc#1 - Hilary & Charlotte 11/11/10!

YummyYumYumMama - Kieran 10/27/10!

lyndzies - Cadence James 10/15/10!

Carlyle - Maggie 10/9/10!

aidanraynesmom - Sloan Phoenix 9/10!

MaerynPearl - Maeryn Jean 9/27/10!

colorbywords - Emery Oaklynn 8/03/10!

LZP - Anna Veronica 7/18/10!

Pinoikoi - Ursula Marisol 6/23/10!

Lisko15 - Caleb Benjamin 6/24/10!

 

LINK to our graduates thread - Spring 2011 Edition!

 

Please let the threadkeeper (monkeyscience) know if your info needs to be updated.

 

New ladies are always welcome, but please join with care.

 

Please put all notes for changes or additions to this post in bold! Thank you!!


Monkey (30) + Pirate (28) = a forever family (5/10) - Baby Bird (8/12), our long-awaited first, and one (9/13 @ 7w 6d); PCOS
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#2 of 127 Old 06-06-2011, 04:23 PM
 
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Thanks monkey!

 

CD 1 for me, so no BFP after my lap cycle.  Disappointing, even though I knew it wouldn't work this time, either.  So, on to the Nuvaring to test it out before IVF suppression begins.  It seems so wrong to use birth control right now!  ARGH.

 

Oh, and I remember someone in last month's thread (maybe monkey?) starting metformin again.  I just wanted to say I've noticed good changes, physically and I think in the "hormonal environment" since I started taking it in January.  So good luck avoiding the side effects and hopefully it'll be just what you need!


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#3 of 127 Old 06-06-2011, 04:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So, we got a little more information on dh's new job... looks like we will be out of town more than in, which means we're moving more in the direction of me quitting my job. I have such mixed emotions about it - I absolutely DO NOT want to spend 2 months apart from dh, repeatedly, not to mention it would really kill any TTC hope... but I can see myself going bonkers spending long days in an extended-stay hotel in some unfamiliar town. I really need to find some new hobbies or something. I'd love to work/volunteer, but I'm not sure what I can really do if I'm only going to be somewhere for a month or two. :( But still very happy about dh's job!

 

Also, I did my first morning dose of metformin today, and I think it's going okay. I'm starting to feel a little crappy now, and it's about time for my dinner dose, but that could have more to do with me having a glass of milk and a cookie bar than anything. Fingers crossed that upping the metformin goes smoothly, and that it makes me ovulate!


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#4 of 127 Old 06-06-2011, 04:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Kinza - looks like I cross-posted with you, but I answered some of your thoughts anyway! Sorry for no BFP, but glad the metformin's been helping. What is the NuvaRing for? Sorry I'm forgetting... did you have endo? Anyway, good luck with moving forward.

 

Everyone... check and see if there's anything you want me to add/change/remove in the first post, please!


Monkey (30) + Pirate (28) = a forever family (5/10) - Baby Bird (8/12), our long-awaited first, and one (9/13 @ 7w 6d); PCOS
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#5 of 127 Old 06-06-2011, 05:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monkeyscience View Post

So, we got a little more information on dh's new job... looks like we will be out of town more than in, which means we're moving more in the direction of me quitting my job. I have such mixed emotions about it - I absolutely DO NOT want to spend 2 months apart from dh, repeatedly, not to mention it would really kill any TTC hope... but I can see myself going bonkers spending long days in an extended-stay hotel in some unfamiliar town. I really need to find some new hobbies or something. I'd love to work/volunteer, but I'm not sure what I can really do if I'm only going to be somewhere for a month or two. :( But still very happy about dh's job!

 

Also, I did my first morning dose of metformin today, and I think it's going okay. I'm starting to feel a little crappy now, and it's about time for my dinner dose, but that could have more to do with me having a glass of milk and a cookie bar than anything. Fingers crossed that upping the metformin goes smoothly, and that it makes me ovulate!


Well, it sounds like you guys will have lots of changes coming up.  Is the extended release metformin available where you are?  I take 1500 mg of that once a day and it has fewer hideous side effects than the regular metformin.  I was wretchedly ill for a day when I first started taking it, and wretchedly ill again for a day when I upped the dose, but other than that I'm ok as long as I avoid certain things (like milk and too much meat).  Anyway, good luck with that.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by monkeyscience View Post

Kinza - looks like I cross-posted with you, but I answered some of your thoughts anyway! Sorry for no BFP, but glad the metformin's been helping. What is the NuvaRing for? Sorry I'm forgetting... did you have endo? Anyway, good luck with moving forward.

 

Everyone... check and see if there's anything you want me to add/change/remove in the first post, please!


NuvaRing will be what I use instead of birth control pills when we start IVF, but since I've never used it before I need to do a trial run for a couple of months to make sure it works for me.  I guess a lot of women have trouble with it falling out or being uncomfortable.  Birth control pills and I do not get along, so the RE suggested trying the ring to see if I could avoid some of the side effects.  And it should keep my pelvic cavity endometriosis-free until IVF time.  Super fun.

 


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#6 of 127 Old 06-06-2011, 05:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Kinza - I've heard of the extended-release met, but I haven't gotten anyone to prescribe it for me yet. I didn't think to ask for it with the original prescribing doc (whom I'm no longer seeing), and my (stupid, IMHO) RE didn't think extended release would make a big difference. Actually, I'm not seeing that RE any more, either. I think I will definitely ask my next care provider (whoever that is) about the extended-release. I'm wondering if my OB-GYN will write me a new prescription for it or not. We will see.

 

Thanks for explaining the NuvaRing - hope it works out better for you than regular BC. I've been completely unwilling to use BC pills, or even consider them, since I figure I have sufficient hormonal screwiness on my own without adding to the pot. I guess I didn't realize that would be standard procedure for IVF. Why is that, exactly? Would I need suppression even if I never ovulate on my own? I'm hoping not to do IVF, but I guess I might as well gather information.


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#7 of 127 Old 06-06-2011, 06:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by monkeyscience View Post

Kinza - I've heard of the extended-release met, but I haven't gotten anyone to prescribe it for me yet. I didn't think to ask for it with the original prescribing doc (whom I'm no longer seeing), and my (stupid, IMHO) RE didn't think extended release would make a big difference. Actually, I'm not seeing that RE any more, either. I think I will definitely ask my next care provider (whoever that is) about the extended-release. I'm wondering if my OB-GYN will write me a new prescription for it or not. We will see.

 

Thanks for explaining the NuvaRing - hope it works out better for you than regular BC. I've been completely unwilling to use BC pills, or even consider them, since I figure I have sufficient hormonal screwiness on my own without adding to the pot. I guess I didn't realize that would be standard procedure for IVF. Why is that, exactly? Would I need suppression even if I never ovulate on my own? I'm hoping not to do IVF, but I guess I might as well gather information.


I'd definitely ask your OB, or even your primary care doc for the XR met.  After I'm no longer seeing the RE, I'm just kind of assuming that one of those will keep prescribing it for me.  It's really much less miserable than the regular met.

 

I hope the Nuvaring works out ok for me, too.  I really hate BCPs.  I was on them for a long time and they screwed with my hormones and made me miserable, and didn't really make me feel better, as they should in someone with endo/PCOS.  I am not positive, but I believe everyone who is going to do IVF has to do a suppression treatment.  I ovulate on my own, but will still be doing all the injectable drugs to get a lot of eggs to mature.  The suppression stuff is so you don't ovulate on your own when all the hormones you don't normally have in your body are there encouraging you to.  That way the clinic can control everything and do the egg retrieval at the right time.  I guess it also helps with scheduling, so they aren't at the mercy of every woman's cycle.  Anyway, I'm sure there are other, more technical reasons, too, for suppression.

 


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#8 of 127 Old 06-07-2011, 05:01 AM
 
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Thanks for the new thread, Monkey.  I think the link to the graduates thread needs updating, it isn't working properly.  

You're a teacher, right?  Maybe you could look into whether substituting would be possible in the places you will be staying short term.  Maybe not, as I know around here there's just one chance per year to get on the supply list.  Otherwise, temp agency?  

 

AFM - My doctor has recommended a sperm function test.  A regular sperm analysis was done ages ago and was great quality, but apparently a sperm function test checks for 20 different things which can be present even in men with normal sperm analysis.  Strange that I'd never heard of it until now despite all the reading I've done on infertility.  It's kind of expensive, but cheaper than another IUI, so I think we'll do it.  More information is always good.


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#9 of 127 Old 06-07-2011, 06:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for telling me about the link, Kyamo. I just copied and pasted everything, so I'm not sure how it got messed up, but it's fixed now. Stalk away!! ;)

 

That's interesting about the sperm function test - I've never heard of that, either! I hope you get some answers from it. I doesn't seem fair that ovulation is going fine for you now, but there's still no baby.

 

AFM, I'm on CD30, still no ovulation. Not that it's surprising or anything, but, meh. Anyway, day 2 of 2 doses of metformin, we'll see how it goes. As for the temp agency... I wonder if there's a national agency that could work with me wherever I go? I actually was signed up with a temp agency 3 years ago, and it took awhile for them to find me a job, and then it only lasted for 3 days. It was a super easy, well-paying job, but it wasn't like they kept me busy with work. Still, something to look in to. I'm glad that we don't need the money of me working, which means if I could find some way to volunteer, that would be okay, too.


Monkey (30) + Pirate (28) = a forever family (5/10) - Baby Bird (8/12), our long-awaited first, and one (9/13 @ 7w 6d); PCOS
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#10 of 127 Old 06-07-2011, 09:47 AM
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Kinza - you are welcome to join the IVF thread, if you want. I found it very helpful because lots of people had been through IVF before, and it gets complicated, so they helped explain things to me.

 

MBA - don't leave. I like your occasional posts.


Mom to DS 12/07 and DD 11/13, plus a bunch of chickens, dogs, and cats.

Moving past many years of infertility and always thinking of my friends in the infertility forums.

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#11 of 127 Old 06-07-2011, 12:27 PM
 
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Hi ladies - I know I haven't been over here all that much since I went over to the IVF thread. It might be a little bit early but monkeyscience, can you move me to the BFP's? It took 20 months and an IVF cycle but I finally got a BFP on Friday.

 

I will miss being a BSL.


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laggie - Congrats!! I saw your annoucement on the IVF thread (I stalk over there a little), but figured I'd wait to move you until you asked. Do you want me to put a specific EDD, or just leave it as early February?

 

MBA - Count me as one who likes it when you still pop in - I miss you! Glad you've got your twinsies, but miss your energy over here!


Monkey (30) + Pirate (28) = a forever family (5/10) - Baby Bird (8/12), our long-awaited first, and one (9/13 @ 7w 6d); PCOS
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Laggie--congrats!

 

rcr, thanks!  I did join the IVF thread a while ago, but I'm SOOO behind on reading there.  Lots of action on that thread!  But I do pop in and read some.


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Quote:
Originally Posted by monkeyscience View Post

 I'm glad that we don't need the money of me working, which means if I could find some way to volunteer, that would be okay, too.



That's great that it isn't essential for you to find a job, but I thought you were having trouble affording your fertility doctor?  So I would think it would still be really important to you to find a job?  Don't answer that if you don't want to, none of my business really.  

 

 

Oh, and there are now 2 obviously pregnant women among the staff at my fertility clinic!  Argh!


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Kyamo - We couldn't afford the fertility doc with my salary and dh being in school. His salary is significantly more than mine was, we won't have school expenses for him any more, and we should be able to pay of some of my student loans in the next 3 months or so. Plus, we may not have an apartment lease and we may sell his car in the future. So, all in all, we should be able to afford fertility treatments eventually, though maybe not immediately. But if he's out of town 2 out of 3 months and I'm teaching full time, there won't really be any fertility to treat. :(


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Laggie!!! joy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifCongrats!!! That is fantastic news!!!!

 

Kinza- So sorry about AF and moving on the Nuvaring..I also had no idea that bc was a necessary part of IVF. This makes me hope even more that i do not have to do IVF, and even makes me wonder if I would really be willing to. I hate bc..really hate it. I hope it is not too bad for you though!

 

Kyamo - I had never heard of the sperm function test either. That is really interesting. Maybe it will give you some good information. I hope it will be helpful!

 

Monkey- I hope the metformin helps you O! Personally I think it sounds kind of fun to be in a different place for 2 or 3 months, while you still are young and pre-baby, because once that baby comes it definitely does make that alot harder. I hope that doesn't sound like an awful thing to say when you want a baby so badly, but it's just true! Anyway, many years ago I worked for Pro-Temps in two different (not next door to each other) states. So you might look at that. I can think of so many great ways to volunteer too if you can do that. Big Brothers/Big Sisters, The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, American Cancer Association, Susan B. Komen for breast cancer...a women's shelter...a homeless shelter...volunteer to help your favorite politician in the area get the word out...or maybe you could take classes that interest you for fun...I would love to get back into Jazzercise. Ok y'all don't laugh at me! It was awesome fun when I did that. You could also volunteer at the YMCA...take dance classes, writing, pottery, whatever you like. Gosh. So many options if you don't have to work. You could also work PT temp or substitute teach (Wait, did someone already suggest that? Sorry..I'm really tired today) You could volunteer at a nursing home..so many things to do. I hope it works out wonderfully for you. Sounds like fun to me!

 

AFM - I'm in that really boring part of the cycle..right after AF is done..no news..just praying DH gets a new job so we can move fast!!!

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Laggie - Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!

 

Lilmom - I'm right there with you in the boring part of the cycle, sigh.

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#18 of 127 Old 06-08-2011, 06:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I guess I can figure out more things I can do once I know where we'll be. I know hospitals around here won't let you volunteer unless you can commit to at least 6 months or a year of service, and it often takes awhile to apply and get trained. I think maybe some non-hospital places are more open to drop-in volunteers, so we'll see.


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Not much happening here.

BFN yesterday, as expected.


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Forever missing our little ones lost

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Sorry Milk8shake. :(

 

I guess I should be strangely grateful for my anovulation - hope is always just around the corner. Every day I can think "Maybe today I'll ovulate." And I don't really ever take HPTs. Although, on my medicated cycle, the endless days of negative OPKs really did get to me. grouphug.gif to everyone.


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#22 of 127 Old 06-09-2011, 09:10 PM
 
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hug2.gifMilkshake, I'm so sorry!!!

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#23 of 127 Old 06-10-2011, 02:18 AM
 
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Thanks guys.  I'm not that torn up about it this time round.  I was expecting as much.

 

Went to the doctors today, I have a nice bout of infected dermatitis on my neck/shoulders.  I'm also having a bunch of blood tests, because I've been feeling so exhausted and run down.  So, in a way, I'm glad it was a BFN, because now I have to take antibiotics. 

 

Anyway, it's a long weekend here... So glad!!


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#24 of 127 Old 06-10-2011, 02:27 AM
 
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Sorry, Milkshake. :(

 

I had a dream last night about taking care of someone else's baby. I just don't remember if it was a positive or negative dream. Hah.

 

It is hot here, so we have moved to my family's summer place and are enjoying ourselves here. Simple living in a little old house, which I love. We don't normally have much of a yard, so I really love it here. We are also about to book tickets to go visit our dear friends in the country where dh used to (and will) study. 1.5 hours of flight, so not bad. It is also a real design minded place (I swear everyone there looks stylish, even old grandmas in their jeans), so I love to go window shopping. We will probably spend a week or so, there, and I am very excited. However, before the trip, we will have the fertility appointment and two meetings with the social workers.

 

I am so glad we took the leap to apply to do short term foster care. I feel like it has helped me emotionally, as baby things are no longer our of reach and mystical. I now know that I can enter that world, if I so wish. Yet, it is of course not the same thing at all as having our own baby.

 

I feel like all the sunshine has helped me a lot. I feel healthier than I have for years. One of the thyroid symptoms for me was never being able to relax and just be in the moment, and now, all of a sudden, that ability seems to have come back. Oh how I welcome it!

 

I work online about one day a week, but I can do the hours whenever I wish. I was just offered a project, starting some time in the fall and lasting, I suppose, a couple of months. That would give me more hours every week, which is pretty exciting, really. We will see if it happens and whether we would have a baby to look after at that time, also. I am normally so all over the place, that I look forward to that, needing to be organized so I have enough time for everything. This work, also, would be whenever I wanted to do it, so unless we had a colicky baby at home, I feel I could handle it just fine. We'll see. The first 6 months of dd's life I lived abroad, but this time I would also have my mom around to help. She is also a baby person, so I know she would be around a lot.

 

That's about it here. Just living one day at a time. I am about 3 dpo or something, but can't say I have much hope or anything. I mean we have had so many months of perfect timing that I don't see how things would change all of a sudden.


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#25 of 127 Old 06-10-2011, 12:25 PM
 
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Can my blurb thing be updated to "IUI#4 ???" because we don't know when we'll have enough money to do the next set of testing and IUI.

So, wanting to adopt a child under 1 year of preferably the same race as my husband and I is selfish and racist.

Am I wrong? I was told in an incredibly nasty and insensitive way the above, and I don't understand how wanting a kid as young as possible so I can experience things like first smiles/words/steps is so selfish, and how preferring that the kid is the same or similar race to my spouse and I is so racist. I don't dislike other races or anything, I just thought it would be easier if the kid matched somewhat.

I don't understand anyone anymore.


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#26 of 127 Old 06-10-2011, 02:40 PM
 
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18 dpo, screwed up my BBT charting something fierce this month, glad I have my handy dandy microscope around to clear things up. It looks like my luteal phase is just going to keep being longer than 18 days, and I'm hoping that's not a bad thing because I don't even know how to start fixing that. Does anyone know if this is a bad thing? I read that it means it will take longer to get an accurate urine test, but I also read that if you get negatives after 18dpo, there's no way you're pregnant. I don't know when to test, so I'm just blowing through tests every day. orngtongue.gif My husband is not too thrilled about having to go back to the store all the time for more.

For the past few days, about 5-6 days, I've had this ridiculous cramp-like thing in the exact same spot on my right side (the same place I got Mittelschmerz this cycle). At the worst, it spread all over my stomach, my lower back, my privates and even my cervix, but it went away when I took pamprin. It feels like a pinching feeling, and has made sex and going to the bathroom (both 1 and 2) very painful and difficult. I was going to make an appointment with my dr today, but it seems to have suddenly stopped. It's weird, it was consistent, I never stopped feeling it for a second, and it slowly escalated until I couldn't walk three different times because of it. Then I woke up from my nap an hour ago and it seems to be gone? Who knows.

I do know that I'm getting awful tired of getting pregnancy-like symptoms every time I ovulate, and if it is coming, I would sure like AF to hurry up so I can have a glass of wine.

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#27 of 127 Old 06-10-2011, 03:27 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by objet_trouve View Post

I read that it means it will take longer to get an accurate urine test, but I also read that if you get negatives after 18dpo, there's no way you're pregnant.


I know a woman who didn't start getting faint positives until she was 6-7 weeks pregnant or so. Everyone is different! I hope your pains are a good thing. Sorry they suck though :(


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#28 of 127 Old 06-10-2011, 03:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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kparker - Blurb updated. And no, that doesn't make you racist or selfish. It probably makes you much more of a realist than some (though certainly not all) people who adopt interracially. It's not a minor thing to adopt a baby that is a different race than the parents. I think it takes a lot of sensitivity and caring toward the child and a really tough skin toward ignorant outsiders to raise a child that's a different race than you. Being cognizant of that difficulty is not being racist. Not wanting a baby of a different ethnicity because you think they are ugly... that would be racist. I would say the same about adopting older children - it is harder to bond with them, and they often have a lot of emotional problems. Which doesn't mean they aren't worthy of love, or shouldn't be adopted, but again, it's something that people shouldn't take on lightly. Other people may say that's selfish to be unwilling to take that on, but I think it's important that people know their personal limits. Just my two cents.

 

objet - Sorry things are being so confusing for you! An 18 day LP does sound awfully long, but I can't think of anything off the top of my head that would be wrong with that. It will make your cycles longer so you have fewer chances for getting pregnant in a given time, but that's it. And it gives your eggies lots of time to implant!

 

AFM, still nothing going on. I think I'm going to drop my second dose of metformin for now. I can't handle the near-constant nausea, especially since I have to start working next week. I guess I will stick with one dose for awhile until I can get a new doctor.

 

Also... SIL is expecting twins! I'm more than a little in shock. Their baby isn't quite 8 months old. New babies are due Jan. 1. That makes me even sadder that my medicated cycle failed... then the cousins would have been just a few weeks apart. I guess it's good, since that won't divide the family attention, but, still... Also, apparently everyone else has known for 3 weeks, and my brother keeps forgetting to tell me! But they were concerned how we would feel about it, since they knew we were trying, and when they were going through IF, SIL took it really hard when others got pregnant. I'm taking this a little hard, but I know that, reasonably, they didn't do this to spite me, and them having twins doesn't affect whether or not I get pregnant. They're the third couple we know that has announced twins in the last couple of months, though. One was through IF treatments, but the other two were totally natural. I need to find out what water those ladies are drinking!


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#29 of 127 Old 06-10-2011, 10:54 PM
 
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Milkshake- Sorry to hear about the infected dermatitis but glad you can take the antibiotics!!

 

LTB- I would LOVE to be living simply out in the country! The visiting friends and window shopping also sound like wonderful things to look forward to. Sunshine really helps me too. I really NEED sunshine! I don't know if it is a vitamin D thing or what, but it just makes me feel great to be outside. That has been one of the hardest things about living where we are now (for the past nearly 3 yrs now)..I am allergic to things here and it makes it so hard for me to be outside. Never had outdoor allergies before moving here. I am actually supposed to have testing done on the 23rd for it..which reminds me..I wonder if there is any problem with allergy testing and pregnancy, if I was to O before then? Hmmm I should look into that. Anyway, you have so many positive things going on right now..fostering, the new project, etc..I'm just thrilled for you! I love it that you sound so happy these days. And of course, something may come of the testing you are doing, and you may have even better news ahead!

 

kparker- I think it is an absolute outrage that someone would say to you that it is racist and selfish to want to adopt a baby under a year old of the same race you are!! I agree completely with what Monkeyscience said! There are huge obstacles and issues that can come along with adopting a child of a different race, and/or an older child! And it is NOT selfish to want to be there for those milestones such as first steps, first words, etc..not at all! Isn't that what every parent longs for? There may be some people who only want older children because they are not "baby people", I get that. But just because you do want a baby, with the least amount of built-in issues, that does not make you racist or selfish. Not one bit. That makes me SO MAD. Don't let anybody get to you girl. You know you are not those things.

 

I also find it infuriating that anyone would think that just because someone who wants to be a parent is having trouble doing it the old-fashioned way, that that person has to just "take what they can get" so to speak. You have a right to want to have a BABY. A baby who has a chance of really fitting in to your family in every way possible. There is nothing wrong with that!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Objet- Hmmm, I can't think of anything negative about a long luteal phase..it's just so unusual! And stressful, I'm sure! How many days was it last time? I also hope the pains are a good thing and not a negative thing..I can think of a few things that could be..could be just a muscular strain, could be something like interstitial cystitis? Maybe endo? I don't know much about endo though.. But it could also be pregnancy! Hoping that's what it is! Keep us posted.

 

Monkey- sorry the 2nd dose of metformin was making you so sick! And WOW about your SIL! That is a lot of babies in a short time period! I would be in shock too, and probably hurt that everyone knew before me. I also can understand your sadness about wanting the cousins to be close in age and how it doesn't seem to be happening yet. I really, really wish my DS had some close cousins. Unfortunately, he has just one, and she lives across the country, and furthermore is not my idea of an ideal playmate anyway for DS for many reasons. My own sister and brother are both unmarried and my sister has never wanted kids. So, DS may never have that, and it makes me so sad. I grew up with literally dozens of cousins and it was fantastic. I think though that we have to just somehow create a tribe for our kids. I don't know how to make that happen yet. But I want to! I think once we move, I am going to try really hard to find some good families that we can have him grow up with. Also, I think in your case, you still have a shot for it to happen,and I hope it does!!!! They might not be weeks apart, but if cousins are even within a few years of each other, they can have a ball playing together. : ) I know we did!

 

If you find out what's in that water, please let me know!

 

AFM, no ttc news, but I'm feeling very sorry for a friend of mine who told her husband 2 days ago she wants to have a 2nd child, and he basically told her not only does he not want more kids, he "thinks" he wants a divorce. This came out of left field. I feel terrible for her. She really thought they were ok. I have to admit, it made me appreciate my DH a little bit more today. Of course, I'm still just pining away for the day we can move. Sorry, I know y'all are so sick of hearing it. But it's what I have going on. Also, if DH is going to get fired, it's going to be on Wednesday. That's when the area manager will be in town. So, of course we're on pins and needles waiting to hear. My sister has generously offered for us to come stay with her if we would like to or need to, to get into a real city, until we find a place. So, I am happy about that but also nervous. Too bad we aren't independantly wealthy and can just go wherever.

 

 

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#30 of 127 Old 06-11-2011, 05:31 AM
 
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Luteal phase last cycle was 24 days. I ovulated at CD10, cycle length was 34 days. The cycle before that had a luteal phase of 7 days, but I think that was more because I had just started vitex and was still adjusting, particularly because that cycle was 40 days and O was CD33.

TTC #1 My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/329153
 

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