Bajingo Juice into the Fall - TTC #1 in our 30's - September 2011 thread - Page 5 - Mothering Forums
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#121 of 141 Old 09-25-2011, 01:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yep, anduluza, my temp was up higher this morning, but I also took the temp 45 minutes late.  I will just have to wait and see tomorrow when the temp is at "normal" time.


Crafty Geeky lady (37, hypothyroid) married 7/2010 love of my life (42, azoospermia). I believe in MIRACLES! Twin boys born 12/21/13 at 40 weeks 2 days! 3/52 crafts in 2014 Ramsey's BS1: Done! 2/17/12 BS 2 goal: 6/7/17 no sperm initial DX 3/23/12 BFP 4/7/13!
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#122 of 141 Old 09-27-2011, 12:02 PM
 
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Pitch, I don't know if it helps right now, but it made me feel better when I had my miscarriage to know that other people have miscarriages and still go on to have babies . . . Meander had her baby a little while ago after a similar experience, and I'm due in a month after my first pregnancy miscarried very early.  I know it doesn't make you feel any better about what's happening right now, but there is still hope for the future!  Hugs for you.


On a farm with our kiddo (nearly 2), two dogs, two cats, ten goats, two donkeys, nine sheep, a bunch of chickens, and a husband (in the winters). We have another on the way!
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#123 of 141 Old 09-28-2011, 10:51 AM
 
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Yep, anduluza, my temp was up higher this morning, but I also took the temp 45 minutes late.  I will just have to wait and see tomorrow when the temp is at "normal" time.



How are things today, Lilac?


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#124 of 141 Old 09-28-2011, 03:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Temp was down a bit lower.  Crampy.  I think AF is on the way.  I have to wait and see what tomorrow's temp brings.  greensad.gif


Crafty Geeky lady (37, hypothyroid) married 7/2010 love of my life (42, azoospermia). I believe in MIRACLES! Twin boys born 12/21/13 at 40 weeks 2 days! 3/52 crafts in 2014 Ramsey's BS1: Done! 2/17/12 BS 2 goal: 6/7/17 no sperm initial DX 3/23/12 BFP 4/7/13!
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#125 of 141 Old 09-28-2011, 04:02 PM
 
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I'm sad that this thread is so quiet, and sorry that your temp was down some today, Lilac. 

 

I am having a hard time focusing today because tomorrow I get the results of my blood test. I am telling myself that even if the beta is negative, I will not give up hope because it was done only 5 or 6 days after ovulation. I am feeling different this month, though. It's possible that my body is adapting somewhat to the clomid, which I suppose is good. Maybe?


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#126 of 141 Old 09-28-2011, 05:51 PM
 
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First of all - Pitch so sorry about your loss! :(

 

Andaluza, you mentioned you have family abroad- my husband and I too! It's nice to have something else in common with others on here besides our universal attempts to conceive of course.

 

Lilacvioletiris - Regarding you deciding to be a stay at home mom; I'm leaning towards that decision, too.  It's a super difficult decision- I'm at a nice peak in my career and seem to be doing better every day, however am so willing to let that all go to have my first child with my hubby.

 

Mexilady- welcome and that's got to be hard being around brand new babies all the time. 

 

Welcome all the newbies! :)


Hubby and I married in 3/2010 and have been TTC off and on ever since. One miscarriage under our belt but thinking positive and on a mission to have a successful pregnancy.

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#127 of 141 Old 09-28-2011, 06:19 PM
 
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It has been a quiet few days Bajingo ladies!  Where is everyone in their cycles?  I want to know who is going to POAS this weekend so that we get some goodvibes.gifgoing on!  

 

Sending you positive fertile thoughts for your beta results tomorrow andaluza - please let us know how it went ok?

 

Anyone have any charts they want stalked?  I'm feeling chatty tonight!

 

Also, confession: I bought a maternity tank tonight at Target it was on sale for $2.96 and I couldn't resist oops.  Now I have to go hide it in the bottom drawer with my stash of maternity and baby clothes Sheepish.gif


me (30) and my prince charming (25) living happily ever after and expecting our first little nug baby.gif in june/july 2012

 

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#128 of 141 Old 09-28-2011, 07:51 PM
 
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Hello Ladies

Very busy with work, but sorry I am contributing to the lack of action on the thread.  

Lilac- Hope AF stays away.  

Andaluza- Fingers crossed for your blood test results tomorrow.

Pitch-Still thinking of you and hoping the next one happens soon and sticks.

Sarahfaith- Hard to resist the cute maternity clothes.  I kept some of my favorites and hope to wear them again some day soon.

 

AFM- CD 6 here.  Since I usually O on day 12, BD marathon is about to start around here.  Though I have heard that it becomes stressful for some, glad to say that we are still really enjoying that part, even though it has not produced the desired results so far.


Metreehugger.gif College Literature Professor reading.gif(36) and DH (35) married 7/05, together since 1/99; Mom to two lovely and fierce little girls: DD1 2/06 and, after 18 months TTC (and a couple years NTNP), DD2 born 7/3/12!  Dedicated AP parent who is for selective (most) vaccination.

 

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#129 of 141 Old 09-28-2011, 08:24 PM
 
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Hello everyone,

 

Thank you so much for the thoughts and prayers and well-wishes.  I am feeling semi-okay.  Mostly I'm still trying to process, grieve, mourn, accept, hope, and begin again.  We had waited for that pink line on the pregnancy test for (ironically) nine months.  Then to finally achieve it, just to have it vanish a few days later... it seemed impossible, and yet terribly real.  The first few days I was raw and shattered.  The evenings are still hard on me.  But I am healing, and DH is just so wonderful.  This experience (as awful as it was) has brought us even closer. 

 

The positive side is that we know I can get pregnant!  That is a huge relief for us.  I am very thankful for that knowledge because (I know this sounds crazy) seeing all those BFN's were almost as bad as the miscarriage, emotionally speaking.  It's a different kind of sadness, but it still just wears you down after a while.  Some of you know exactly what I mean.

 

The negatives are obvious.  My body is pretty much healed (it was like a very heavy period that lasted a couple of extra days).  My doctor said we can begin trying again whenever we feel ready.  My thoughts on that change on an hourly basis.  Mostly I feel fear that this will happen again.  How am I supposed to relax when I do get pregnant again?  How will I not be a nervous wreck that I'll lose another baby?  What if it takes us a long time to even get pregnant again?  Those are the thoughts that keep me from feeling ready.  But then again, I want a baby so desperately. 

 

I really appreciate the comments about losing an early pregnancy and going on to have a healthy baby... it really does help.  It gives me hope that this won't happen again, and we will soon be pregnant with a healthy baby.  I hear that a lot, and I need to hear it.  It's too easy to get depressed and feel hopeless. 

 

To all of you, thank you.  These boards have provided me with so much support and love.  We haven't told many of our friends or family about the miscarriage because it's still difficult to talk about it.  This is a wonderful outlet for me, and I've missed being around here.  A huge (public) thank you to TickleToes, who has walked me through a lot of the steps after having a miscarriage.  She's been so insightful and encouraging and understanding.  I can't imagine going through this without a friend like her... and many others here who have been so sweet and supportive.  Thank you all. 

 

I look forward to checking in with everyone and hoping for a fertile fall for all of us!  :)


Me (32) and DH (30) welcomed our precious baby boy 1/2013... life is good.

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#130 of 141 Old 09-29-2011, 05:26 AM
 
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I am happy that we are hearing from you, Pitchounette. I am so sorry again that you had to go through this. I wish you continued healing. hug2.gif


hola.gifAndaluza (36) & dh (39), married 11 years! babyboy.gif M 8/23/12.  One cat.gif

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#131 of 141 Old 09-29-2011, 08:06 AM
 
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How is everyone today?

 

Pitch, I'm so sorry you're going through this right now.  I totally get the stress - indulge and pamper yourself with your favorite de-stressing activities: mani/pedi, exercise, meditation, yoga, massage, maybe even acupuncture?  My health insurance plan covers something like 10 acu sessions a year, it's worth looking into if you're interested.  You're absolutely right that you can get pregnant!  Stay the course, I know you can!

 

So I'm pretty sure that AF is on its way - I'm scheduled to AF in six days.  Today is 10 dpo and I have lots of AF type cramps, lower back pain, general inflammation and puffiness in the lower abdomen area.  Lots of lotiony CM, all classic pms symptoms for me.  Plus, I was craving fruit last night.  I love my sugar before AF!  Honey crisp apples have finally made their way to my grocery store, so I stocked up.

 

This morning cramps were so strong I ran to the bathroom thinking AF had arrived early, but just lots of CM.  It seems early for PMS, but I think that's mainly due to being off of bc.  Breasts are barely tender at all, after a lot of discomfort over the weekend.  I think that's a big indicator that there's probably not a baby on the way.  The only weird symptom is being flushed a lot - my cheeks get hot and I have sweaty palms.

 

Any recommendations on thermometers?  I have a digital thermometer, but do I need to get a bbt thermometer? 

 

Have great days, ladies!


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#132 of 141 Old 09-29-2011, 05:36 PM
 
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Hi Erinbriana, welcome! I agree, it is nice to be able to find people with similar professions and life issues, as well as finding others with whom I can be honest about ttc.

 

Sarafaith, I'm sure I'll be poas this weekend, despite my news below.Will you be joining me? I always have to pee in the middle of the night, so I don't know if that throws off the fmu efficacy. I haven't bought anything maternity-related, but I do look at my clothes and consider what might be wearable if/when I ever need wider girth.

 

Thank you for your thoughts, CaCountryGirl and I hope you are gearing up for a great ovulation and bd sessions! There is so much hope in that part of the cycle.

 

Again, Pitchounette, your words so gracefully communicate what you've been going through and I hope the pain turns into a sticky bfp very very soon. 

 

Calpurnia7, I've been using cvs's basal body thermometer and it's been reliable, it seems. I think you definitely do need a basal body therm and not a regular fever one, since the temps are lower for resting temps. I am sorry that you think af may be on the way. The symptoms you describe are some of the ones I get during my luteal phase, not necessarily tied to af. If you'd been on bcps, I don't know how similar those symptoms in the weeks before your fake "period" may be to true luteal phase symptoms. For instance, when I was taking pills to regulate my cycle, my breasts were horribly sore, tender, and fibrous in the weeks before my period, but in my normal luteal phase, it seems that I get red and sensitive nipples, but none of the fibrous masses (thank goodness!).

 

AFM, well, it's been a weird day. First, before even getting my test results, I was about to cry at work over a silly technology glitch. Then, after I did get them (negative beta, but I did ovulate), I wanted to cry in my office. Finally, more intense crying when I was watching the news, specifically spurred by the item that showed the baby pandas in China and the fact that there are only 108 living pandas (I don't know if this is total or in captivity, well, because of all the sobbing).

 

But my temps are good, nicer than they've ever been since I've started temping, so I'm not quite ready to give up hope--I'm only 8 or 9 days past ovulation! Thoughts on my chart?

 

Hope everyone has a great Friday. (wow, I just edited this 5x because I failed to preview before posting! Gah)


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#133 of 141 Old 09-29-2011, 06:22 PM
 
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So good to hear from you Pitch. It sounds like you have an amazing support system and that is really what matters most.  You are in my thoughts and prayers. Emily Dickenson's Hope always makes me feel a bit better: Hope is the thing with feathers, That perches in the soul, And sings the tune--without the words, And never stops at all, And sweetest in the gale is heard; And sore must be the storm, That could abash the little bird, That kept so many warm. I've heard it in the chillest land, And on the strangest sea; Yet, never, in extremity, It asked a crumb of me. luxlove.gif

 

Are you going to POAS Calpurnia? or just wait it out?  I too have the CVS bbt and it has been my fav.  I also tried the rite aid brand (terrible) and the target brand (not bad but not as good as the cvs).  Also, I highly recommend FF VIP if it is in your budget.

 

I can't wait until you post a BFP on here Andaluza!  Are you going to POAS Saturday or Sunday?  Your chart looks great with high temps for sure - I think it looks promising.  

 

I am not going to POAS until October 7th.  That will be 14DPO and also the day that AF is due.  The FRERs call my name every time I walk by them in the store but this month my motto is 'go big or go home' I'm going to get myself a nice fancy digital and it WILL say PREGNANT om.gif


me (30) and my prince charming (25) living happily ever after and expecting our first little nug baby.gif in june/july 2012

 

* * * 4 * * * 8 * * * 12 * * * 16 * * heartbeat.gif 20 * * * 24 * * * 28 * * * 32 * * * 36 * * * 40

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#134 of 141 Old 09-29-2011, 06:54 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahfaith View Post

 

Are you going to POAS Calpurnia? or just wait it out?  I too have the CVS bbt and it has been my fav.  I also tried the rite aid brand (terrible) and the target brand (not bad but not as good as the cvs).  Also, I highly recommend FF VIP if it is in your budget.

 


I'm going to try to wait until Monday - try being the operative word, I'm really impatient. :)  There are so many hormonal changes going on in my body right now, it would just be nice to know either way.  Yes, of course, I want to be pregnant, but after a first month, I feel comfortable with whatever result I have.  It seems that I did definitely O this past month, a very good sign!  If I missed the timing, it's because I wasn't able to really predict my O date.  

 

I'll pick up the CVS bbt when (if?  Maybe not?? Peace.gif) AF arrives.  Thanks for the recommendations!

 


Running-lovingjog.gif, cycling, yoga-savoring, foodie, wife to an amazing DH partners.gif, adoptive mama to four fuzzy friends dog2.gifcat.gifcat.gifcat.gif, pregnant  belly.gifwith our precious "honeybee" daughter Mae baby.gif to bless our lives EDD 9/8/2012.

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#135 of 141 Old 09-29-2011, 06:59 PM
 
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Andaluza - I laughed out loud at your "need wider girth" clothes comment.  I think about that whenever I add to my wardrobe these days.  Wishful thinking, I guess. 

 

Sarahfaith - I think you have great will power not POAS until the 7th. I can't tell you how many pregnancy tests I've bought over the last two years. Probably about 30!  I always order in bulk on Amazon though and never have bought a fancy digital.  I think that when I finally get a BFP on my cheapies, I will go out and buy a digital just for fun.  

 

Pitch - I think you totally have the right attitude - just get right back to trying!

 

Lilac - I'm hoping AF stays away!

 

AFM - I've been super busy teaching HS all day and night classes online.   It keeps me from stressing about the little things though so I like to fill my time.  Went to my GYN today, he was pushing the IVF path.   I am still unsure, I have such a romantic idea of conception but today I am convinced.   He thinks that because they can't find anything wrong, and we haven't been successful that might be my only option.  I haven't used any birth control for over 5 years, so it is all those years of no happy accidents+ 16 months of active TTC that my GYN thinks are really worrisome.

 

So now, I am going through another round of tests because the first round was over a year ago.   I had blood work today and a HSG scheduled in October.   Fun, fun, fun..greensad.gif

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Trying to adopt from foster care in Los Angeles.buddamomimg1.png

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#136 of 141 Old 09-30-2011, 03:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Pitch, I am so glad to hear that you are back with us as you mourn your loss and look to the future.

 

I think my period will come come tomorrow or Sunday.  My temp was up yesterday, but then really down today.

 

This weekend is my 10 year college reunion.  It will be interesting to see how my college campus has changed and how the people I graduated with have changed.


Crafty Geeky lady (37, hypothyroid) married 7/2010 love of my life (42, azoospermia). I believe in MIRACLES! Twin boys born 12/21/13 at 40 weeks 2 days! 3/52 crafts in 2014 Ramsey's BS1: Done! 2/17/12 BS 2 goal: 6/7/17 no sperm initial DX 3/23/12 BFP 4/7/13!
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#137 of 141 Old 10-01-2011, 03:02 PM
 
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Pitch - I wanted to echo how much hearing about people's success after miscarriage helps me stay hopeful. Stories about women who tried for years also make me feel more hopeful. Keep your head up, my friend. blowkiss.gif

I don't remember who asked about the thermometer, but I think a BBT thermometer is a lot more accurate and gives you a more detailed picture of what your body is doing.

As for me... I'm back to temping again for the first time after my last loss. My chart gave me cross-hairs this morning and indicates ovulation at 12 DPO - I typically O between CD 16-18. I've got a mixed bag of feelings about that. The last time I O'd this early in my cycle, I got pregnant. I'm trying hard not to draw parallels or obsess. I'm also a month away from the year anniversary of my first loss. I'm hoping that I'll be able to emotionally handle that with whatever happens during this cycle. Most of the time I'm fine, but emotions can sometimes be sneaky.

TTC aside, I've been busy staying on top of the great school year that began. I'm determined not to let that drop or change. So far, so good... but I'm slightly behind on some paperwork. eyesroll.gif I'm keeping up with my online classes rather well and feel good about that. My commitment to the dance community is wearing at me... which is not so good because this is a time when I'm really needed to be present and put more time and energy into things.

I finally broke down and went shopping for new clothes last week. I've been underweight all my life and its been a goal of mine to gain. When I hit 120, I was feeling pretty good about myself. When my weight started creeping to the 125-130 range, the good feelings were turning into not so good feelings. It was mostly the image of myself in the mirror, busting out of my clothing. In my head, I know that my weight is perfectly normal. Reconciling that knowledge with the new body has been harder. I had put off shopping for the last year because I didn't want to buy new clothes, then get pregnant and have to buy maternity clothes, and then potentially have to buy new clothes all over again if my prepregnancy clothing didn't fit. However, nothing turned out as I imagined it would... and my pants were all squishing parts of my body that just shouldn't be squished! So I bought my first two pairs of size 6 pants and my first pairs of medium sized underwear... put them on, looked in the mirror and felt good about myself again! Its amazing what properly fitting clothing can do for your self image - now nothing is bulging anywhere and I look and feel good. Now my goal is to stop gaining and just maintain.

Early childhood teacher TTC #1 after 3 early losses ribbonpb.gif.ribbonpb.gifribbonpb.gif My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/Tickletoes

My blog: http://mappingoutmotherhood.blogspot.com/

 

 

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#138 of 141 Old 10-01-2011, 04:43 PM
 
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clap.giftickletoes so glad to hear that you're feeling good about yourself.  a size six is so great and really healthy looking to.  understandable about your nervousness of o'ing on CD12.  i am hoping that this cycle is a positive one for you.

 

PUH i hope that everything is successful.  i can't imagine now nerve wracking the tests must be.

 

afm 8dpo and i am starting to feel the crazies of the 2ww!  idk if it means anything but today i was abnormally tired (i took an afternoon nap!) and super thirsty (i am almost at 80oz of water for the day) ::shrug:: here's to hoping!


me (30) and my prince charming (25) living happily ever after and expecting our first little nug baby.gif in june/july 2012

 

* * * 4 * * * 8 * * * 12 * * * 16 * * heartbeat.gif 20 * * * 24 * * * 28 * * * 32 * * * 36 * * * 40

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#139 of 141 Old 10-01-2011, 06:24 PM
 
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Just checking in to say hello. Have missed everyone and wishing everyone baby dust.
So sorry for your loss, Pitch.
Good to see you, Caly, and Toes, and everyone happily marching on.
We see fertility doc on Friday.

dog2.gif Early childhood teacher, animal rescuer, guardian to 2 dogs and 2 cats.cat.gifjoy.gifOur little kumquat Rose is here!  Born 9/18!  joy.gifbfinfant.giffamilybed1.gif

 

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#140 of 141 Old 10-02-2011, 03:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi, Catheleni, hope you have fun with the fertility doc on Friday.

 

Well, AF arrived today after a 45 day cycle.  Figured it was time for a new thread.  I am going to call my doctor tomorrow and set up a time to figure out if my thyroid is operating as it should, since my temps are always low.  Even during the middle of the day, the highest I have every gotten was 98.04.

 

Link to the new thread

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1331686/falling-into-bajingo-juice-ttc-1-in-our-30s-october-2011#post_16684013


Crafty Geeky lady (37, hypothyroid) married 7/2010 love of my life (42, azoospermia). I believe in MIRACLES! Twin boys born 12/21/13 at 40 weeks 2 days! 3/52 crafts in 2014 Ramsey's BS1: Done! 2/17/12 BS 2 goal: 6/7/17 no sperm initial DX 3/23/12 BFP 4/7/13!
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#141 of 141 Old 10-04-2011, 08:01 AM
 
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*oops - wrong thread*


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