Warm Winter Wishes and BFP's 40 ++ TTC - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 712 Old 12-21-2011, 12:24 PM
 
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The FDA has stepped in on the selling of HCG... I think it is no longer allowed to be sold as a diet aid?


43 w/Emphysema - TTC from 2005 - 2013. 2 miscarriages in 2008. Good things do not come to those who wait.

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#122 of 712 Old 12-21-2011, 12:41 PM
 
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So sorry Jennifer, but welcome to the group.

 

Gumblossom and Shell - Hugs to you both.

 

I had my NT scan today. It was amazing to see our little one waving to us on the screen. love.gif  We are taking the results as positive, even though I'm still in an elevated risk range for downs due to my age.   I will go back for a fetal scan at 16 wks but we have decided to decline the CVS and amnio. 


Laura ~ Mama to three wild and wonderful boys , our rainbow baby girl on 7/2/12 and expecting #5 on 12/24/14

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#123 of 712 Old 12-21-2011, 05:38 PM
 
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3surfboys- We did the NT scan for both girls and then 12 week & 20 week sono's.  Everything turned out fine and I hope the same for you. 

 

Stevi- We did a homeopathic version.  They are pulling it from some companies but not all.

 

Looking forward to getting to know you all!

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#124 of 712 Old 12-22-2011, 05:39 PM
 
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Hi All,

 

I'm sorry to be so behind, but welcome to all the new mamas and congrats to those of you with BFPs!

 

I have a little bit of bittersweet news to share (for those oldtimers who remember me)... today I am 5 weeks pregnant. But sadly, I just learned this morning that this one was not meant to stay. For some reason I had been nervous to share the news before my first ultrasound (maybe my intuition telling me all was not well), but had been hoping to see a heartbeat in early January and tell you all then. I had symptoms, a rapid, slippery pregnancy pulse, and great betas. But after my 3rd (fantastic) beta, my TCM person asked for one more. (I didn't even want to do betas, for fear they would create stress, but my TCM person asked for them). So I did a 4th beta yesterday and got the news today that my HCG had dropped dramatically. My western doctors and TCM folks agree there is no hope.

 

I have no bleeding or cramps and still feel pregnant, and am still in shock. I had been doing a lot of meditation and visualization that was connecting me very deeply to this little spirit inside, and DH and I were joyfully embracing the idea of welcoming (my second, our first) baby in August. I've had to spend all my energy today trying to hold it together in front of DD, who is on winter break and with me 24/7. Whenever I've had a few moments alone, the tears begin to flow but I'm soon called back. I don't know when I'll be able to really grieve and process. I did manage to sneak off to see my TCM person this afternoon while my parents watched DD. Seeing all the baby pictures on the wall was bittersweet. They gave me some herbs to help bring on the miscarriage (my body is still holding tight to this pregnancy). It feel strange to be drinking them.

 

My TCM person thinks I simply jumped the gun -- she told me to give her until January to improve my egg quality, and we tried in November and caught an egg, just not a good enough one apparently. I do credit her wonderful care with bringing me this far -- since we started trying a year and a half ago, we've only had chemical pregnancies. So I have hope for the future.

 

Still, this is so so sad.


treehugger.gif Mama to 1 lovely DD,  angel1.gif 1/12 @ 8 weeks (ectopic), angel1.gif 1/14 @ 7 weeks, many chemical pregnancies, TTC DH'S #1, my #2
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#125 of 712 Old 12-22-2011, 07:51 PM
 
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Litmama hug2.gif

I am so sorry.  I know.

 

It's been 3 months since our most recent loss and I still find myself in tears.

I mourn the child I will never hold in this life.  

 

Know I am thinking of you.  

 

me ((((((((((you )))))))))) hugs.

 

 

 

 

 

 


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#126 of 712 Old 12-22-2011, 08:59 PM
 
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Oh, LitMama, I'm so sorry. I've been there with a dropping beta and I know how devastating it is. Thinking of you...

 

hug2.gif


Sandy (41), Mama to Oscar (Feb 2009) and Aria (April 2012), infertility and miscarriage survivor brokenheart.gif 11/25/10 and brokenheart.gif 6/22/11.

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#127 of 712 Old 12-23-2011, 05:43 AM
 
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LitMama grouphug.gif  Hugs and healing to you. 


Laura ~ Mama to three wild and wonderful boys , our rainbow baby girl on 7/2/12 and expecting #5 on 12/24/14

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#128 of 712 Old 12-23-2011, 07:28 AM
 
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Im so sorry Litmama. hug2.gif

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#129 of 712 Old 12-23-2011, 07:53 AM
 
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Thank you, skeemama, alittlesandy, 3surfboys, and contactmaya. I'm touched by your kind words, warm thoughts and hugs. You make me teary, but in a good way. grouphug.gif


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#130 of 712 Old 12-23-2011, 08:26 AM
 
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LitMama...   I am so sorry... More hugs coming from here...


43 w/Emphysema - TTC from 2005 - 2013. 2 miscarriages in 2008. Good things do not come to those who wait.

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#131 of 712 Old 12-23-2011, 11:34 AM
 
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Love and peace to all of those dealing with loss or disappointments right now.   May the return of the sun bring you light and joy and lovely babies in the new year.  xx


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#132 of 712 Old 12-23-2011, 12:59 PM
 
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Oh, Litmama, I am so sorry. That sounds heartbreaking, especially after 3 good betas. I do see the solid bit of hope that you got past the chemical stage. It is so tough trying to hold it together around a child. I hear that. If you can somehow get even 5 minutes to yourself for a good full body sob, for me that can help release a lot. I'm glad you had a connection to a baby spirit. Sad as they have been for me, they have also been amazing and full of love, plus I've had the sense they have a purpose in the spirit's journey. I'm guessing the same is true for you. Big (((hug))) to you.


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#133 of 712 Old 12-23-2011, 01:17 PM
 
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I am so sorry Litmama, its harder for us who have a smaller window to have losses as we know our clock is ticking.. But at least it sounds like you have a good support of specialists helping you!

 

Surfboys, glad the NT scan came out ok, and glad you decided against the cvs, after what the other poster said about her amnio experience and her loss, it scares me now anytime someone is going to have those tests. 

 

Merry merry Christmas to everyone! 

I have a prayer request.. if i may.. My mom had open heart surgery on wednesday, and last night she started having delirium and was agitated, hopefully just a temporary setback, but it has been very hard for all of us to have her in the hospital over the holidays. 

 

Thank you

Christi


Christi, Mommy to 7 wonderful children on Earth and 1 heavenly Angel, forever 29 days old. 

 

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#134 of 712 Old 12-23-2011, 03:14 PM
 
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Litmama, I'm so sorry for your loss. It is so hard to have our babies leave us, especially when we've already made a connection.

It sounds like your TCM person is great, and it will just be a matter of time.hug2.gif


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#135 of 712 Old 12-24-2011, 11:48 AM
 
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Thank you so much, siddal, stevi, a mommyttc, waturmama and gumblossom! I can feel the love and support and understanding from here, and it means a lot to me. grouphug.gif

 

I'm currently in a weird state of limbo. The tiny bit of brown spotting I had earlier this week disappeared completely yesterday and is staying away. My HPTs that were getting lighter are now getting darker again. My temperature is still high, and my boobs still hurt so much they keep me up at night. The only change is I'm no longer feeling the round ligament stretching sensations or the very faint crampiness that I think was just my uterus stretching (oh, and I guess the mild intermittent nausea I had is gone, too). It's hard to believe I'm no longer pg, and perhaps it's denial kicking in, but it makes me wonder if there was a lab error. I'm now deeply regretting drinking 3 doses of the herbs my TCM person gave me to bring on the m/c, just in case. On the other hand, my rational mind knows a lab error is unlikely, my TCM person confirmed my pregnancy pulse was gone, and I do have a sense that the baby spirit has left -- that a light has gone out in my womb. I've searched the loss forums and I do see that it can take weeks for the bleeding to begin, so I assume that's what's going on. It's strange to think that if I hadn't had that 4th beta, I would have learned of our loss during our 6.5 week ultrasound, and I would at this moment be ecstatic that my spotting and mild cramping had stopped. 

 

It's great to be spending time with family right now... we celebrate both Christmas and Chanukah and with both holidays happening at the same time this year, there is much celebration and merriment. Even though she doesn't know, my beautiful sweet DD is a huge comfort to me. I've told my parents what's going on and they're being wonderful, too. Haven't told any friends IRL yet, we're all just too busy to talk right now.

 

I just want to thank you all again... it's great to be able to share this with mamas who have been there and get it. love.gif

 

Merry Christmas and Happy Chanukah to those of you who celebrate them! Sending you all peace and blessings, love and light.


treehugger.gif Mama to 1 lovely DD,  angel1.gif 1/12 @ 8 weeks (ectopic), angel1.gif 1/14 @ 7 weeks, many chemical pregnancies, TTC DH'S #1, my #2
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#136 of 712 Old 12-25-2011, 01:33 PM
 
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I was going to put my neck out earlier and say sometimes you have two in there and as one is reabsorbed HCG levels drop, then pick back up as the second fetus takes off growing.. I sure hope this is the case for you.. Sure sounds like pg symptoms to me, and the tests getting darker is a good sign also.. Keep your chin up and maybe you will have a christmas miracle. 


Christi, Mommy to 7 wonderful children on Earth and 1 heavenly Angel, forever 29 days old. 

 

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#137 of 712 Old 12-26-2011, 06:00 PM
 
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LitMama I hope your in a place of peace whatever the outcome.

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#138 of 712 Old 12-26-2011, 09:49 PM
 
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Yikes, Litmama, that sounds confusing. I hope you have a Christmas miracle, too. In a way I hate to be part of getting your hopes up. I have been there so many times it seems now. There are plenty of amazing stories, and you could be so one too, but I have learned the hard way, that they are the exceptions. I like the twin theory. Truly the darkening pg test has not been part of my sad experiences, and that seems like the most hopeful part. The sense of a light going out I can so relate to. I hope you will call your TCM person asap and discuss, and I cross all my fingers and toes that you will have a miracle.

 

I'm so glad you are having a joyful holiday season and that your dd is a comfort.


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#139 of 712 Old 12-27-2011, 08:47 AM
 
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Thank you so much WaturMama, Jennifer5, and amommyTTC. Your thoughts and wisdom and good wishes keep me going!

 

Well, it is getting weirder... I just got yesterday's beta back and it's 912, which means it's doubling again. My hands are shaking as I write this! My low beta from 12/21 when they told me I would miscarry was only 94. I guess at this point it's looking like either an ectopic or a vanishing twin. I did wake up this morning with nausea. Wow, I had already given up and started to truly grieve...

 

I'm so afraid to hope but can't help it. 

 

Yup, I'm calling both my RE and my TCM person right now!


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#140 of 712 Old 12-27-2011, 10:21 AM
 
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LitMama praying.gifpraying.gifpraying.gif  sending positive thoughts and prayers to you!


Laura ~ Mama to three wild and wonderful boys , our rainbow baby girl on 7/2/12 and expecting #5 on 12/24/14

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#141 of 712 Old 12-27-2011, 11:43 AM
 
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Wow Litmama!!! Toes crossed for good news from here to kindergarten!!!


43 w/Emphysema - TTC from 2005 - 2013. 2 miscarriages in 2008. Good things do not come to those who wait.

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#142 of 712 Old 12-27-2011, 11:44 AM
 
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Wow, Litmama, 912!! Sending good wishes...goodvibes.gif

 


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#143 of 712 Old 12-27-2011, 07:04 PM
 
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Can't wait to hear an update.  Sticky vibes your way!

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#144 of 712 Old 12-28-2011, 07:41 AM
 
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Sticky vibes to you Litmama!!! 

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#145 of 712 Old 12-28-2011, 08:56 AM
 
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Thanks, everyone! love.gif

 

You could have knocked my TCM person over with a feather when I told her my news... said she'd never seen this before. My RE says it could be a lab error, an ectopic, an impending miscarriage, or a slowpoke baby trying to catch up. (I like that last theory!) He said the vanishing twin idea was "practically impossible" (I didn't ask why, because it just seemed to go along with his western medicine mindset). I'm having another beta later today and tomorrow morning I go for a sonogram to look for a gestational sac and yolk sac. Unfortunately DH can't come with me, as he has to stay home and watch DD, who is on winter break. I'm nervous that we won't see anything on the sono because it will be too early -- has anyone else had a scan at only 5 1/2 weeks?

 

In the meantime, I had a tiny bit more spotting and cramping yesterday, and I'm finding myself just feeling like this could really go either way -- I realize I have very little control over it, and I have to just do my best to embrace what-is at the moment and not get too caught up in attachment to any particular outcome. Easier said than done! But, I do have my moments of grace. I'm finding meditation and visualization invaluable right now. 

 

I'll let you all know how the sonogram goes tomorrow! 


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#146 of 712 Old 12-28-2011, 11:42 AM
 
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at 5.5 weeks and with a beta of 912 I would expect to see a sac, and if no fetal pole that could still be normal this early. And I only said the vanishing twin thing because I had a friend who had the exact same thing happen, and her numbers dropped then picked back up.. No false hope, just wanted to explain her situation..

 

I am so hoping for you, sucks you have to go by yourself, especially when you are already so nervous.. What about bringing DD with you? I have brought my kids to u/s lots of times.. I understand if its not comfortable, but was just a thought. Good luck!

 

So ladies, I have a question, can you get pg when the penis is flacid (not erect) and barely is engaged with the female parts? I scooped some up and placed it back in ( I know TMI) just wondering.. Thanks

 


Christi, Mommy to 7 wonderful children on Earth and 1 heavenly Angel, forever 29 days old. 

 

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#147 of 712 Old 12-28-2011, 01:04 PM
 
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Hello Ladies,

 

I am new to the forum.  I posted to the old one then realized no one was there. LOL But I am sure glad that I found it.  My DH and I are getting ready to have a vasectomy reversal and start trying for our first child together.  I have three and he has 1 from previous marriages.  But something keeps pulling us in the direction of having a child together.  Here is the hard part.  I am 41 now and he is 55.  (I had not been worrying much about his age until I saw the old post about the men's age from Contactmaya. :)   

I am concerned about how long it might take me to get pregnant.  My youngest is almost 12 and with all my other pregnancies all I had to do was think about getting pregnant and I was.  Will that happen again?  How long will it take my DH to have sperm after the reversal?  This is all a lot to think about.  I am worried that it will take too long.  I see that gumblossom has been through this part but I am unsure if she is on this new thread.

Are we too late to try?  I am scared to have a baby after 43.  That is my mental cut off.  Is there anything that we can do to get the sprem coming sooner. :) Can anyone tell me if they have been through the reversal part?

 

All your input will be great!

 

Samgat

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#148 of 712 Old 12-28-2011, 02:44 PM
 
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Hi Samgat,

 

My Dh did have a reversal back in 2007, and it took us about 7 months to get pregnant.

 

We had previously had 4 children together, and had practically gotten pregnant first try every time, so I found the waiting after the reversal really challenging! It helped to have my own fertility worked out - I started charting before the reversal and started acupuncture too, so that my body was baby ready. I was told by my doctor that it could take at least three months to see sperm, and we had the sperm analysis done then, and he had a normal count.

 

It is really important to do things right with the reversal surgery. Be sure that the surgeon has done this procedure many times before, and that he is using micro-surgery techniques (some don't). The after care is super important - you want to stop any scarring if you can. Some men benefit from icing the area regularly and taking anti-inflammitories. My husband didn't do either, but a month before I had him on a vitamin regimen that included vitamin E, high does of vitamin C, selenium, zinc and a multi. We stopped the vitamin E two weeks before surgery because it can cause excessive bleeding.

 

I got a wealth of information and support from this website:

http://vrsupportgroup.proboards.com/index.cgi

 

I hope that helps.

 

Don't worry too much about your age. I was 41 when I fell pregnant with my son, and have had two more pregnancies since then, but sadly have miscarried. Women in their forties have babies all the time, there are plenty of success stories here.


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#149 of 712 Old 12-28-2011, 05:00 PM
 
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Welcome Samgat! I don't know about vasectomies, but I know many women who have had children in their 40s, including two good friends this year--one at nearly 44 and the other a few month shy of 46. Both got pregnant naturally, though both had tried for quite a while before. When I look at family genealogy I see lots of women with many babies having them into their 40s. I am 44 and not ready to give up--I am getting pregnant frequently, but they aren't sticking. I am looking forward to an appointment with an RE (Reproductive Endocronologist) in Janurary to help get to the bottom of it. A lot of us have been helped by TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine--acupuncture and herbs). For me it has made my cycle more regular. I think gumblossom has a great idea to start charting now if you don't yet. Good wishes!

 

Wow, Litmama. What a roller coaster. hug2.gif I am so glad there is still hope. I will be checking for the results of the u/s tomorrow. I'm send extra good wishes since your dh can't be with you.blowkiss.gif

 

I just want to acknowledge here that the little one I was pg with for several weeks in the spring (called Love in my sig because when I put my hands over my womb I felt flooded with love) was due this month. The grief for that little one really came back over the holidays. candle.gif little Love Baby.


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#150 of 712 Old 12-29-2011, 08:08 AM
 
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Good Morning,

 

Gumblossom, I think the waiting is going to be hard too. I am having a hard time even waiting for my husbands procedure.  I was so disappointed when they told us they could not do it until Jan 27th.  Then if I understand right we can't even try for another 30 days.  Then it could be months for sperm to show up.  Ugh...    The procedure will be done by someone who has done a lot of these and it will all be done microscopically. As for the vitamins I will review what he takes now and change if needed.  My husband plans on taking time off for the procedure and lay around the house. He is kinda a wimp about these things. :)  Which might be a good thing.  I will check out the link you mentioned.

As for me I have been to the doctor and will see another doctor who specializes in pregnancies with women my age.  (My age... that sounds funny)  So far everything has come back great. I have been put on a prenatal vitamin that has something else in it but I can't remember what they call it. 

I have decided to buy a Clear Blue ovulation monitor and start charting my temp so that I will be as ready as possible. Has anyone ever used a Clear Blue monitor?  I am worried that this will start to consume my life.  I want to keep the attitude that it will happen if this is what God wants to happen.   I told my husband that when a women decides to do something as big as have a baby we think about it daily when a man decides to do it he thinks about it when he has to produce sperm.  LOL   I was worried that he had changed his mind when he never spoke of it. But he says that he has not changed his mind.

 

Waturmama, Thank you for the good wishes.  I am so sorry for your losses. You have incredible strength.  It is good that you are looking into it more. I see the book the Pregnancy Miracle advertised a lot.  I have not gotten the book so I have no idea what it is about but it gets good reviews.  It claims to help women who are having trouble and it uses Chinese medicine I beleive.  Maybe you have it.

 

 

Hope everyone has a wonderful day!

 

Samgat is offline  
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