Warm Winter Wishes and BFP's 40 ++ TTC - Page 7 - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#181 of 712 Old 01-03-2012, 06:34 AM
 
fuller2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 787
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

LitMama -- the pain could just be a corpus luteum cyst which would be normal for this stage of pregnancy.  I had one for ages after I conceived -- I was actually evaluated for an ectopic too because of it with this pregnancy.  The follicle that releases the egg creates a corpus luteum cyst that I guess provides various hormones etc until the placenta kicks in later on.  Some could see it easily on ultrasound, others couldn't, but I can tell you that it definitely caused some pain.  (btw I second that doctors tend to be miserable at u/s unless they do it a lot -- the midwife in my doc's office found the cyst instantly but when she had the OB come in to take a look the OB couldn't find it at all and was obviously a total klutz with the machine)

 

I hope this works out for you -- I really do.   xoxoxoxo!!

fuller2 is offline  
#182 of 712 Old 01-03-2012, 08:04 AM
 
LitMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: SF Bay Area
Posts: 449
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

Thank you, Fuller! I really appreciate hearing about your experience. I bet that's what it is. I'd forgotten about that!

 

This is turning into a Shakespearean drama, probably King Lear (with my RE cast in the lead). The politics at Kaiser are dizzying. While trying to cancel the appointment my RE made (without asking me) for this morning and see my Ob/Gyn instead, I had a very knowledgeable and frank Ob/Gyn nurse explain to me that, A) it's too early for a proper ultrasound, and B) once you see a specialist, that specialist becomes the puppet master and any other doctor you see within the system won't overrule him. She said I'm stuck in a gray zone at 6 weeks and an unfortunate cascade has been launched that could be leading to a misdiagnosis. I'm incredibly frustrated but also determined to not be a victim of this system.

 

The nurse told me the RE has put a note in my file that I'm a non-cooperative patient (because I've canceled the appointments he made for me). I realize it's possible the Ob/Gyn I see today might just back up the RE, in which case I'll probably have to get another second opinion outside the system. DH and I talked with his dad (who's an MD) last night to get his perspective on the politics. Sounds like it's mostly butt-covering at this point, and once we're free of this RE he'll forget about us and not spend any energy trying to control us or our other doctors. I hope so!

 

When I write up that warning about early ultrasounds, I'm going to include a warning about starting with specialists. Never again for me!

 

 


treehugger.gif Mama to 1 lovely DD,  angel1.gif 1/12 @ 8 weeks (ectopic), angel1.gif 1/14 @ 7 weeks, many chemical pregnancies, TTC DH'S #1, my #2
LitMama is offline  
#183 of 712 Old 01-03-2012, 09:06 AM
 
fuller2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 787
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Be strong, LitMama -- I work at a big teaching hospital with many MDs and know all about politics and how one bad apple can really make problems.  However, I also know that most professionals are just that -- professional -- and if your RE is being difficult with you, you can bet that you aren't the only one and that other docs in the system know he's difficult.  (The fact that the nurse told you about the note indicates to me that she may be on YOUR side, not his.)  However, also keep in mind that all the physicians are all on the same team so they do have to behave like they agree with each other to their patients -- especially if your RE is any kind of big shot within the system.

 

Behind the scenes, though, it can be different.  I agree with your DH's dad.  If you can somehow escape your RE (don't worry about what he thinks of you) or at least minimize his impact (there may have to be some ritualized consultation with him when/if you switch to another doc, just to keep everyone's work relationships flowing smoothly -- yes, I know this really has nothing to do with YOU but more to do with the careers of the physicians who are "treating" you) I think you'll be fine.  I am sure he will have egg on his face if this turns out to be a viable pregnancy and he will want to forget about you as quickly as possible anyway. 

 

(Your RE may well have been sued by someone for missing an ectopic or something like that in the past -- I mean, they CAN be really serious -- and he's just being super cautious now.  I once had a very nice doctor really really freak me out about my possibly having some incredibly rare neurological disease -- which turned out to be nothing. It seemed that he had missed this once in a prior patient years ago and was still haunted by it.  So you never know.  Docs are people too.)

 

6 weeks really is early.  (though I believe that's exactly when my corpus luteum cyst started to hurt)  Can you just stay away from ALL doctors for a couple of weeks until you know better what's going on?  Maybe not possible if they think you're having an ectopic...but.  Sounds obvious, but don't forget to do stuff like go out for a walk every day and clear your head.  Just because they are having a freakout doesn't mean you have to get sucked into it!  (I don't expect you need to be reminded of anything like that since it sounds like you are already able to keep some distance from all this.  So just sit back and enjoy the show...) 

 

Good luck with it all.  You certainly will have a good story to tell no matter how this ends up!

fuller2 is offline  
#184 of 712 Old 01-03-2012, 09:36 AM
 
WaturMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: By the San Francisco and San Pablo Bays
Posts: 1,577
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I love the hopeful stories which are abounding for 2012--TenzinsMama, I love that second twin story. Fuller2, I'm so, so happy to think of you with a kicking babe and a great work situation. How refreshing to hear a happy work story. joy.gif

 

Litmama, I am so sorry to hear you are dealing with such bureaucracy and a sour personality. Even before I read Fuller2's response, I also thought that it is likely that others' in the system know that is a difficult doc and will take his note (boo, his note!) with a big grain of salt. Also, I have had a lot of left ovary pains with pg, too--in fact I've even worried if I didn't feel them. (!) A wonderful RE I used to see explained that because of the anatomy of the intestines and how things are arranged in our bellies we are more likely to feel those sensations on the left than the right. By the way that RE sadly for me left his practice and joined Kaiser. (I don't have Kaiser.) He is now at Kaiser Sacramento. If it comes to it I could pass on his name. I know you can get 2nd opinions at other Kaisers. My parents have done it. But, I am very hopeful it won't come to that. I can imagine how nervous you are, but it really does sound good. Those doubling betas and your ongoing pg symptoms are the best news. Another thing I thought of for you is I wonder if you would want to talk to a midwife. I know that might sound like an over-the-edge amount of opinions, but a good one is very knowledgeable, probably closer to you in philosophy, and they are reasonably priced and often very wonderfully communicative. If that is a route you choose to take, I have one I could recommend near you. I hope your appointment with the ob/gyn puts goes beautifully today and puts a lot of this to rest. From your previous talk with her sounds promising. In case the reminder helps: if you are feeling stressed go outside, or breathe, and listen to your wise mama intuition. love.gif I am rooting for you and little bean and your whole family.

 

AFM, I have more pg symptoms this am. Could be my PMS in this new totally-no-nursing phase. I think I am at the very least 13 dpo. I took a pg test. It could only be called a BFN, but there was one of those "maybe if I look in the light right that's a faint line" lines. Because the RE's office has a 48 hour cancellation policy, I called to see if she could still talk to me about holding onto a pg (because really that is my problem, not getting pg so much) if I am pg on Thursday when I see her, and she said she could, so I am keeping that appt. I am really looking forward to it.


treehugger.gifMama to DS (3/05 )carrot.gifh20homebirth.gif, wife to DH bikenew.gif, remembering rainbow1284.gifdog2.gifdog2.gif and angel1.gif Spirit 1/07, angel1.gif Hope 5/09, angel1.gif Harmony 6/10, angel1.gif Love 5/11, angel1.gif Joy 6/11
 

WaturMama is offline  
#185 of 712 Old 01-03-2012, 12:05 PM
 
LitMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: SF Bay Area
Posts: 449
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

Fuller and Waturmama, I just wrote you both a long reply and then accidentally deleted it! Don't have time to reconstruct it right now but just want to thank you both SO MUCH and send you both huge ((( hugs ))) for your great thoughts, ideas and support. I'm feeling more educated and stronger already! love.gif

 

Will write more later this afternoon or evening.

 

WaturMama, thank you for offering a midwife referral, I'll take it! Would you please PM me her name and contact info if you have it? Thank you thank you!

 

Breathing..


treehugger.gif Mama to 1 lovely DD,  angel1.gif 1/12 @ 8 weeks (ectopic), angel1.gif 1/14 @ 7 weeks, many chemical pregnancies, TTC DH'S #1, my #2
LitMama is offline  
#186 of 712 Old 01-03-2012, 02:31 PM
 
Stevi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 3,906
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

LitMama...   My second pregnancy/miscarriage was an ectopic scare. My betas were not doubling, but were dropping very slowly, that slow drop was why an ectopic was suspected. I know the slow drop was because I wouldn't let go and kept using the progesterone cream, which is what was delaying my miscarriage. I finally miscarried immediately after I stopped the progesterone. Ultrasounds could not find the pregnancy anywhere, not in the tubes or uterus.

 

 

Also during that pregnancy I experienced the most excrutiating pain of my life. That was another reason an ectopic was suspected. The doctors could not say for sure what it was, but suspected that it was a burst ovarian cyst.

 

The miscarriage had nothing to do with the cyst, the pregnancy was weak from the beginning, faint HPTs all the way through. I documented it here on Mothering, if you'd like I can give you a link to the thread.

 


43 w/Emphysema - TTC from 2005 - 2013. 2 miscarriages in 2008. Good things do not come to those who wait.

Stevi is offline  
#187 of 712 Old 01-03-2012, 02:57 PM
 
WaturMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: By the San Francisco and San Pablo Bays
Posts: 1,577
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Litmama: Oh, bummerbummerbummer about the post. I am glad to hear that was supportive. I sent you a PM with the referral.


treehugger.gifMama to DS (3/05 )carrot.gifh20homebirth.gif, wife to DH bikenew.gif, remembering rainbow1284.gifdog2.gifdog2.gif and angel1.gif Spirit 1/07, angel1.gif Hope 5/09, angel1.gif Harmony 6/10, angel1.gif Love 5/11, angel1.gif Joy 6/11
 

WaturMama is offline  
#188 of 712 Old 01-03-2012, 06:21 PM
 
LitMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: SF Bay Area
Posts: 449
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

Thanks, Stevi, for sharing your experience with me. And thank you so much, WaturMama, for the midwife referral. 

 

Sad news at my 2:00 appointment today. This doctor (whom I liked and would see again) did find a gestational sac and a baby in my uterus, but no yolk sac or fetal pole, which she said should be seen by now with my betas as high as they are. Also the sac was larger than it should be and irregularly shaped. And it had debris inside it, apparently because the baby has already died and started to disintegrate. She also saw signs of bleeding in my uterus, a sign of an imminent miscarriage.

 

I have a D&C scheduled for Tuesday... I'm glad it's not until next week so I can have time to breathe and decide whether to proceed that way or let nature take its course. She said she thought as soon as I stopped taking progesterone (just like in your case, Stevi) and also stopped taking my Chinese herbs, I might miscarry on my own. But she also said it appears my body is really holding on to this pregnancy because my betas are continuing to climb (how is that possible?), so a D&C might be necessary. 

 

One thing that astounded me -- she found the sac immediately by looking at my prior ultrasound films (that other doctors had looked at already). Either 3 doctors did not see the sac, or they saw it and for some bizarre reason chose to withhold the information from me, putting me through the hell of an ectopic scare. She then saw it again (it had grown) on my new ultrasound this afternoon.

 

I feel pretty numb right now. DH and I only had a moment together after the appointment, then I had to go pick up my DD from school and had to rally. I feel like I just want to sleep. Immediately after the appointment, before this numbness set in, I felt deeply sad but not devastated, definitely hopeful that we can do this again. According to my TCM person, she sees this all the time in her practice... a pregnancy that doesn't stick as the eggs are improving, then within a few months a healthy pregnancy once the eggs have improved enough. So that thought is sustaining me. For the first time, the passage of time seems like a positive thing.

 

This doctor was very pro-TCM and told me that a colleague of hers (the Ob/Gyn I paid out of pocket to see on Friday) had had her babies at 41 and 44 after seeing my acupuncturist. My acupuncturist is somewhat of a local celebrity, so it seems all the Ob/Gyns know her. I really have faith in her.

 

On the upside, I was really, really relieved that it's not ectopic (although, strangely enough, that still hasn't been 100% ruled out, as there's a 1 in 30,000 chance I could have both an intrauterine miscarriage and an ectopic). I also feel really, really relieved I don't have to take methotrexate and wait 3 months to try again. It could have been a lot worse.

 

I felt so connected to this baby, though... I need to find a way to grieve.


treehugger.gif Mama to 1 lovely DD,  angel1.gif 1/12 @ 8 weeks (ectopic), angel1.gif 1/14 @ 7 weeks, many chemical pregnancies, TTC DH'S #1, my #2
LitMama is offline  
#189 of 712 Old 01-03-2012, 07:56 PM
 
WaturMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: By the San Francisco and San Pablo Bays
Posts: 1,577
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Litmama, I am so very sorry. I have found it so heartbreaking to get my hopes up and have a connection to a spirit and then lose it. My heart goes out to you, and I wish you ease in finding ways and space to grieve. I am really glad you found someone who could see something. That does seem like some level of closure. I am also glad you found an ob/gyn you like. You might ask her how and if she thinks the other docs missed it, if you think that might help you make peace with the situation. Wow about your acupuncturist.


treehugger.gifMama to DS (3/05 )carrot.gifh20homebirth.gif, wife to DH bikenew.gif, remembering rainbow1284.gifdog2.gifdog2.gif and angel1.gif Spirit 1/07, angel1.gif Hope 5/09, angel1.gif Harmony 6/10, angel1.gif Love 5/11, angel1.gif Joy 6/11
 

WaturMama is offline  
#190 of 712 Old 01-04-2012, 09:46 AM
 
fuller2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 787
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm so sorry, LitMama.  But maybe your baby will wait until a healthy egg/sperm combo gets through and still be born to you.  I also had a lot of acupuncture before getting pregnant -- almost 2 years, in fact, stopped about 6 months before I actually conceived. I had at least one chemical pregnancy during that time but nothing else until my surgery.  I did read in my TCM book that it takes a good year (NOT a month!) for each egg to be selected and really fully develop, so it makes sense that acupuncture you got a year ago may finally be helping you now.  (I did have 1 miscarriage the cycle before the one where I got pregnant as well.)

 

I hope you can find time and space to grieve -- you've really been through the wringer in the past few weeks.  I hope you can get some peace now and rest a little. 

fuller2 is offline  
#191 of 712 Old 01-04-2012, 12:09 PM
 
LitMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: SF Bay Area
Posts: 449
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

Thank you, WaturMama, thank you, Fuller... I so appreciate the warm words and the encouragement. Fuller, I'm encouraged to hear from you what your process with acupuncture was. I'm going to try another HSG, too.


So! Last night I was beginning to grieve and make peace, and was ready for closure. I had a glass of wine (the first in maybe 6 months) and quit taking my herbs and my progesterone. However, today my TCM doctor called and urged me to continue waiting another week before taking any action... she feels ultrasounds can be inaccurate and believes my beta levels indicate a growing baby, and says she's seen cases like mine turn out fine. She had a patient with my exact scenario (but at 7 weeks) who waited one more week, then found a yolk sac, fetal pole and heartbeat and is now well into a healthy pregnancy.


My head is spinning, I don't what to think or feel. My heart is so wrung out I can't crank up the hope machine again, but I'm willing to at least go through the motions of waiting.

 

Thank you again, I don't know how I could have gotten through this without all of you wonderful women grouphug.gif


treehugger.gif Mama to 1 lovely DD,  angel1.gif 1/12 @ 8 weeks (ectopic), angel1.gif 1/14 @ 7 weeks, many chemical pregnancies, TTC DH'S #1, my #2
LitMama is offline  
#192 of 712 Old 01-04-2012, 01:24 PM
 
fuller2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 787
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Wow, LitMama.  I guess you know all about impermanence by now, hmm!?  (are you at all Buddhist?)  Sounds like the universe is telling you to kick back and take it easy for a while. It also sounds like a glass of wine was a good idea!! 

 

The world won't come to an end if you don't have a D&C on Tuesday should you decide to go that route.  Medical people like to have answers and closure and little time frames/standardized processes that they follow, but again, you don't have to do what they say just so THEY can stamp your case "closed" and move on to the next person.  Listen to your heart.  (and if your heart doesn't know, that's OK too...the right answer will make itself known in time)

fuller2 is offline  
#193 of 712 Old 01-04-2012, 06:14 PM
 
skeemama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 137
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Oh Litmama, I am so sorry.

 


Skeemama
 
homebirth.jpguc.jpgnovaxnocirc.gifwinner.jpg
 
namaste.gif &  whistling.gifDH,  twins.gif crumb crunchers &  3 angel.gif babies.

skeemama is offline  
#194 of 712 Old 01-04-2012, 06:28 PM
 
Stevi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 3,906
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

LitMama...   Wow! I like your TCM doctor though, I agree that those rising numbers have to mean something. I hope things become clearer soon, and that it is for the good!


43 w/Emphysema - TTC from 2005 - 2013. 2 miscarriages in 2008. Good things do not come to those who wait.

Stevi is offline  
#195 of 712 Old 01-04-2012, 09:37 PM
 
LitMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: SF Bay Area
Posts: 449
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

Thank you Skeemama and Stevi.

 

Fuller, your post soothed my soul. It's all been a very interesting lesson in impermanence for sure, and also listening, intuition, and trust. The waiting IS hard but I'm leaning into the impatience and feeling it give. Funny you should ask... I've been reading a lot of Buddhist lit in the past few years and practicing meditation. This week I've been reading Tich Nhat Hanh, Pema Chodron and listening to a multi-CD set (talks and guided meditations) by Jack Kornfield called "a lamp in the darkness: guided meditations for difficult times". I highly recommend it to anyone who's Buddhism-curious and/or going through a difficult time (not that any of you know what I'm talking about here... eyesroll.gif).

 

Thanks again for the loving presence, all... namaste.gif


treehugger.gif Mama to 1 lovely DD,  angel1.gif 1/12 @ 8 weeks (ectopic), angel1.gif 1/14 @ 7 weeks, many chemical pregnancies, TTC DH'S #1, my #2
LitMama is offline  
#196 of 712 Old 01-04-2012, 10:13 PM
 
WaturMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: By the San Francisco and San Pablo Bays
Posts: 1,577
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

However, today my TCM doctor called and urged me to continue waiting another week before taking any action...  I said, "OMG!" so loud when I read this that my dh in the other room got startled and said, "What's going on?" !!  Oh it is hard for us humans to be in that place of not knowing. Are you going to go back on the herbs and progesterone? Don't worry about the wine. I'm sending some extra good wishes your way for little maybe bean and for finding peace in not knowing. (((hug)))

 

Speaking of not knowing--I'm finishing up probably 17 dpo, if not probably 15 dpo with no AF. My RE appoint is tomorrow. I have so much hopes around it, I'm a bit nervous. Send me wishes for clarity of thought to ask what I want.


treehugger.gifMama to DS (3/05 )carrot.gifh20homebirth.gif, wife to DH bikenew.gif, remembering rainbow1284.gifdog2.gifdog2.gif and angel1.gif Spirit 1/07, angel1.gif Hope 5/09, angel1.gif Harmony 6/10, angel1.gif Love 5/11, angel1.gif Joy 6/11
 

WaturMama is offline  
#197 of 712 Old 01-04-2012, 10:40 PM
 
LitMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: SF Bay Area
Posts: 449
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

Oh it is hard for us humans to be in that place of not knowing...

 

You said it, sister! I feel like this is now a huge cosmic joke (and a teaching moment, all rolled into one). This is going to sound strange, but there's something delicious about the adventure and the mystery... I definitely feel alive. And now that that knot of impatience is coming undone, I'm feeling peace seep in. Peace with whatever. Today when DH heard the news from my TCM doctor, he got really upset and said, "but I've already started to let go, and I think I need to keep letting go". And I realized we both need to make our peace without actually knowing what we are making peace with. 

 

WaturMama, 17dpo and no AF sounds very promising! You are so fertile, whenever I hear this from you I think good things! I'm wishing for SO many good things for you tomorrow... no AF for starters, but also exactly what you need from this appointment with the RE. I hope this person is knowledgeable and wise, compassionate and humane. A mensch. And I hope you find the clarity of thought and voice that you want to get the information you need. Sending you many good vibes for wonderful vision and clarity tomorrow! goodvibes.gif


treehugger.gif Mama to 1 lovely DD,  angel1.gif 1/12 @ 8 weeks (ectopic), angel1.gif 1/14 @ 7 weeks, many chemical pregnancies, TTC DH'S #1, my #2
LitMama is offline  
#198 of 712 Old 01-05-2012, 07:51 AM
 
fuller2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 787
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Go Waturmama! 17 dpo sounds good...here's hoping for 18 and 20 and 30 and 266 days!!

fuller2 is offline  
#199 of 712 Old 01-05-2012, 02:49 PM
 
gumblossom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Down Under
Posts: 463
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Litmama - you are amazing - to be so calm with all this going on. I hope you get answers soon.

 

Waturmama - I'm thinking good thoughts about your 17 dpo! I hope to hear about a bfp soon, and that all goes well with the RE.

 

I'm feeling really happy as I'm actually having a proper period, this first in 6 months, since the miscarriage. It is a relief to actually have a flow and no pain.

 

I'm supposed to have a blood test (to re-check my hormones) on day 2-3, but today is day 1, and the clinic is closed Saturday and Sunday, so it would have to be day 1 or 4. Which would be better? I'm leaning towards day 4.

 

I have a good feeling about 2012. SO much better than 2011.


Wife partners.gif and mama of five grouphug.gif,  Alfie angel2.gif 12/10  and Louie angel2.gif 6/11, CPangel1.gif5/12, CP angel1.gif3/14
gumblossom is offline  
#200 of 712 Old 01-05-2012, 05:00 PM
 
amommyTTC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Battle Ground, WA
Posts: 60
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Litmama.. I agree with your TCM, as I have said before and because we approached the vanishing twin topic, that blood in your uterus could be from that. and the irregular shape of the sac could also be from that contributing. 

If you are not having severe pain, which is usually the case with ectopic, it won't hurt to wait a bit. 

 

Lastly, your betas are climbing! 

I hope you can get some better news. 


Christi, Mommy to 7 wonderful children on Earth and 1 heavenly Angel, forever 29 days old. 

 

<a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3bb59/">My Ovulation Chart<br><img src="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/ticker/3bb59/ttc.png" border="0"></a>

amommyTTC is offline  
#201 of 712 Old 01-05-2012, 08:33 PM
 
WaturMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: By the San Francisco and San Pablo Bays
Posts: 1,577
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Litmama, I love your perspective. I am so grateful for your presence here. I can relate to the sweetness and aliveness of the adventure--even if parts are difficult. Something is happening.

 

Thank you to all who sent good wishes. AF started right before I left for the RE's office. Argh. But at least I knew what I was dealing with, and I was going to get some info.

 

The appointment went about as well as could be hoped (except that my brain did get a bit fogged up from all the info and being a bit sad about AF). I like the doctor very much. She was respectful of my knowing of my own body. (Amazing how that is remarkable.) She honored my financial concerns. She has some interesting ideas. Other great news is that what she saw with the ultrasound was very good. I had plenty of ripening eggs. She said about 3 times that it was "abnormal" in a very good way. The uterine lining I'd built up that I was just starting to shed looked good. She's very positive about the length of my cycle. She thinks, like so many others have said, my problem is likely egg quality due to age. But she ordered a bunch of tests, so finally I can find out about the clotting disorders and we'll re-look at FSH and LH (it's been 2 years), thyroid, and vit D. I'm not even sure what else. They took 7 vials of blood. !! 

 

She wants to look at that data before making any for sure recommendations, but is guessing her recommendation will be for me to take FSH shots. I may need to make some decisions quickly, so I want to start thinking about that. She said that clomid and letrozole only make 1.6 eggs come per month which means many months they don't add anything. She said with the shots I could have 3-4 eggs at once and a better chance of getting a good one. She pointed out that the shots provide FSH directly rather than tricking your brain into creating more. Somehow I like that. I have no idea how much it costs. She said it would depend on my results and we could get more specific with that next week. And she also said that if I'm doing the shots might as well do the IUI. That seems a bit pricey to me when we don't see to have trouble getting pg. Anyway, we'll see. If the shots are too much, I suppose I could do letrozole, because over several months 1.6 is better than 1.

 

Gumblossom, I don't know if we are having the same tests, but my RE said the ones I was taking (which seemed to cover most everything) could be CD 1-5, not just CD 2-3, and she encouraged me to go today on CD1 (I think just to get things going). So maybe you are fine with either.


treehugger.gifMama to DS (3/05 )carrot.gifh20homebirth.gif, wife to DH bikenew.gif, remembering rainbow1284.gifdog2.gifdog2.gif and angel1.gif Spirit 1/07, angel1.gif Hope 5/09, angel1.gif Harmony 6/10, angel1.gif Love 5/11, angel1.gif Joy 6/11
 

WaturMama is offline  
#202 of 712 Old 01-05-2012, 09:23 PM
 
LitMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: SF Bay Area
Posts: 449
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

WaturMama, I just logged on to find out how your RE visit went! I'm so sorry AF came today and that you were feeling down about it ((( hugs ))). But, I'm glad you had a positive-sounding visit with your new RE (how refreshing that she was a woman and respectful of your knowledge of your own body). WOWZA about your "abnormally" abundant follicles! I knew there was something superhuman about your fertility. I'm interested to keep hearing more about your RE's ideas and your thoughts/feelings about this. DH and I did that for 2 cycles about a year ago... the FSH injections, plus IUI. If you're interested, I could tell you a little bit about what our experience was like. 

 

Gumblossom, I'm so happy to hear you had a good AF! Yay for getting your cycles back on track. I'm in agreement with WaturMama, that any of those first days of your cycle would work fine (as I recall from my own testing). Day 4, it seems like you might have higher levels of some hormones?

 

amommyTTC, very interesting idea about the vanishing twins thing, thank you for that. You know, when I first saw my gestational sac at 5 weeks (which my RE refused to examine or acknowledge), I did see two little dots inside. I've wondered about that. You mentioned you had a friend who had a vanishing twin... do you know how she knew?

 

AFM, I saw my TCM doctor today and according to her, I am still pregnant! At least according to my pulse readings. My betas are above 6,000 now, climbing much more slowly but still rising. I canceled my D&C and instead am going in for just an ultrasound on Tuesday. I'm back on Chinese herbs (taking a formula to prevent m/c... I had some cramping today) and progesterone. When I called to cancel the D&C today, I explained my misgivings, and both my Ob/Gyn and her nurses were so compassionate and supportive, it moved me to tears. So different from my RE and his nurses. I'm sure my Ob/Gyn and her nurses believe I'm truly headed for a m/c (and they may be right), but it doesn't matter... it was their kindness that brought me such joy. But my TCM doctor still believes, and I think she's rekindled my hope a little. DH is struggling with the ambiguity, but being super supportive nonetheless.


treehugger.gif Mama to 1 lovely DD,  angel1.gif 1/12 @ 8 weeks (ectopic), angel1.gif 1/14 @ 7 weeks, many chemical pregnancies, TTC DH'S #1, my #2
LitMama is offline  
#203 of 712 Old 01-05-2012, 10:25 PM
 
WaturMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: By the San Francisco and San Pablo Bays
Posts: 1,577
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Yes, yay for Gumblossom back to regular period. I'm sorry I forgot to acknowledge that good news. I can imagine that is a relief, and it really seems positive.

 

That is dear that you checked in on me Litmama. I've been doing the same for you! I would love to hear about your FSH shots/IUI experience. I really want to be ready to make some quick decisions next week.

 

I'm so glad to hear about your positive experience with your new ob/gyn office and do love the TCM person's opinion. I did not regret laying down for a week last summer, when I thought my pg might be viable. I was glad to know I did what I could. I think no matter what happens you will be too. Those sound like supportive decisions.


treehugger.gifMama to DS (3/05 )carrot.gifh20homebirth.gif, wife to DH bikenew.gif, remembering rainbow1284.gifdog2.gifdog2.gif and angel1.gif Spirit 1/07, angel1.gif Hope 5/09, angel1.gif Harmony 6/10, angel1.gif Love 5/11, angel1.gif Joy 6/11
 

WaturMama is offline  
#204 of 712 Old 01-07-2012, 06:38 PM
 
gumblossom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Down Under
Posts: 463
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

*Litmama*, I am glad to hear that your betas are still rising. I truly hope your baby is growing in there.

 

*Waturmama*, it does feel really heartening to actually have a period. I gives me hope that my body is still able. I wonder if the paleo/primal way of eating, or taking DHEA, or perhaps the gallons of nettle tea, have made a difference, or it could be just that it has taken 6 months for my body to get back on track after the miscarriage. My TCM person said she'd give me a strong tuning last time, so maybe that helped? I'm seeing her again this week. Perhaps more tweaking will help cultivate some beautiful eggs and a a lush lining for my baby to grow in.

 

I've also been doing affirmations from Loise Hay's book, "You can heal your life". Perhaps the combination is helping - I know I'm feeling very healthy.

 

I had the hormone blood tests done yesterday (day 2-3), as I was able to get an appointment at the after hours clinic. It will be interesting to see what the levels are like. I'll see my doctor on Thursday and hopefully she'll have the results then.

 

I'm hoping we all have happy news this year.


Wife partners.gif and mama of five grouphug.gif,  Alfie angel2.gif 12/10  and Louie angel2.gif 6/11, CPangel1.gif5/12, CP angel1.gif3/14
gumblossom is offline  
#205 of 712 Old 01-07-2012, 09:34 PM
 
WaturMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: By the San Francisco and San Pablo Bays
Posts: 1,577
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

gumblossom, do you have a mama-intuition sense of what it was that made the difference? I'm so glad it brought your spirits up. It's nice to be friends with AF sometimes.

 

I am having a heavy AF, with other qualities (gushy, watery, clotty) that make me think this was another chem pg. I am exhausted. I hope my test results shed some light on this.


treehugger.gifMama to DS (3/05 )carrot.gifh20homebirth.gif, wife to DH bikenew.gif, remembering rainbow1284.gifdog2.gifdog2.gif and angel1.gif Spirit 1/07, angel1.gif Hope 5/09, angel1.gif Harmony 6/10, angel1.gif Love 5/11, angel1.gif Joy 6/11
 

WaturMama is offline  
#206 of 712 Old 01-08-2012, 02:51 PM
 
gumblossom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Down Under
Posts: 463
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Waturmama, I'm sorry to hear that AF has been a tough one for you. Perhaps you did have another chemical? I do hope you have some answers soon.

 

You know, I feel we have been very patient and have waited long enough - I think it is time to have some answers, and healthy, sticky babies.

 

As for knowing what made the difference - I'm not sure. I feel that the paleo/primal way of eating must be helping, however, I wasn't faithful to it over the Christmas period. I had a lot more sugar than I usually do. Perhaps it is just time that has helped. I did recently read about a woman whose AF returned 5 years after the menopause when she followed the Paleo diet and lifestyle. Which is pretty amazing, and has me convinced that it is a good idea.


Wife partners.gif and mama of five grouphug.gif,  Alfie angel2.gif 12/10  and Louie angel2.gif 6/11, CPangel1.gif5/12, CP angel1.gif3/14
gumblossom is offline  
#207 of 712 Old 01-08-2012, 05:19 PM
 
skeemama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 137
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Watermama, =-(

 

Well, it's official here.  AF has arrived.  


Skeemama
 
homebirth.jpguc.jpgnovaxnocirc.gifwinner.jpg
 
namaste.gif &  whistling.gifDH,  twins.gif crumb crunchers &  3 angel.gif babies.

skeemama is offline  
#208 of 712 Old 01-08-2012, 05:49 PM
 
miss_sonja's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,882
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Sorry to hear about AF Skeemama :-(. 

 

 

Litmama, what a rollercoaster! I have been sending you sticky, peaceful vibes. Hope that all turns out well. Glad you found a helpful, understanding OB/GYN at least. The RE made me so mad on your behalf. 

 

AFM, AF was due on 12/29 or 1/2 depending on which calculator I use. Nothing so far. I haven't and don't want to test. Can't really articulate why though, just seeing a BFN would be depressing and a BFP would be emotionally overwhelming. So if I don't test, I can stay in emotional limbo. I am a scaredy-cat, eh? I did check to see if it's safe to keep taking Vitex and the consensus is that it's fine and can be helpful through the first tri, so even that is OK either way. 

 

Positive vibes to everyone; let's hope this is a fertile year!


Mom to DD1 (11/1999),  DD2 (07/2003), and DS (11/2012), all born at home and cloth diapered. 

miss_sonja is offline  
#209 of 712 Old 01-08-2012, 09:48 PM
 
WaturMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: By the San Francisco and San Pablo Bays
Posts: 1,577
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Thanks gumblossom and skeemama. Yes, my guess is it was a chemical pregnancy. Though I'm super happy about the news of my egg supply, it is unnerving that so many of them have been inviable. It is weird, but I am really hoping I have the clotting issue.

 

Sorry AF arrived, skeemama. (((hug)))

 

Good wishes, miss_sonja! I totally understand about embracing the limbo. It has become a comfortable place. Those BFNs are so disheartening. I also think testing is emotionally overwhelming because the 2 options are so starkly different emotionally. What are the 12/29 and 1/2 dates based on? That sounds promising. Growing stickybabe wishes to you. goodvibes.gif


treehugger.gifMama to DS (3/05 )carrot.gifh20homebirth.gif, wife to DH bikenew.gif, remembering rainbow1284.gifdog2.gifdog2.gif and angel1.gif Spirit 1/07, angel1.gif Hope 5/09, angel1.gif Harmony 6/10, angel1.gif Love 5/11, angel1.gif Joy 6/11
 

WaturMama is offline  
#210 of 712 Old 01-08-2012, 09:55 PM
 
lovbeingamommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 1,929
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Hello Again Ladies!!

 

Haven't been on mothering for quite a while.  There was a problem with my password that's finally resolved...thank goodness.  Anyhow, dh and I now have a fairly firm plan of action.  We're ttc until May "naturally."  I'm making an appt with a very good fertility doc just about a mile from home later this week to get all the preliminary stuff, like testing, out of the way.  It looks like since I'm about to turn 47 on Feb. 2 that this might be our only realistic chance of having another child.  My friend, who has gone through the ivf process, spoke to me about embryo adoption recently.  I have a few websites, but need to familiarize myself with how that process if different/similar to egg donation...and the costs involved with each.  We don't have insurance that will pay for any of this so it will be completely out of pocket.  Trying to get a realistic idea of how much to expect and what the chances for successful pregnancy will be as a 47 yo.  Any thoughts...? 

 

Glad to be back and will catch up as soon as I have some time off work probably next weekend.  smile.gif


Kate, Wife to DH and Mommy to a 5yo lovin' DS; three angels 4/08 9/08 3/10 in Heaven,
waitin' for my baby

lovbeingamommy is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off