Taking the Scenic Route...to a BFP - Page 25 - Mothering Forums

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#721 of 2219 Old 08-07-2012, 08:00 PM
 
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Indie: I do love your manifestation box . . . I really think I'm going to do this! Still not official decision on the job. DH did some calculations, and if I can just stay there for the rest of my contract (1 year, 9.5 months) then I'll be able to go part-time. Things may be improving actually, although I'm sure that's just a temporary feeling. Feeling quite stagnant all around. So it turns out that I didn't O on my own after all. Temps dropped and FF took my O away. Not sure what to do now. Are you sure it's still a BFN? So what are your next steps? Why are you going natural this next cycle? I wish I could O on my own naturally like you! At least you still have a chance. That's a great website - thanks! I wish I could find an RE like that. Oh, I also heard that Vit C can dry up CM.

 

SK, Welcome! :)

 

Chrissy, so sorry :( Man. We really need some good news. Hugs!!

 

Greenmum, come on, girl!! You need to be our BFP!!!

 

Tooth: Alright, hot ginger tea! Whatever it takes, right?! Get that BFP!

 

Sherry: thinking of you! Hoping that you either get a surprise BFP, or at least an on-time AF.

 

AFM: I didn't O after all :( My temps dropped and FF changed me to be still waiting. I'm on CD28. Can you believe it? So now trying to decide . . . do we do injectables with IUI next month (whenever next month might be at this rate!) and use up the rest of our insurance monies, or do we use up the rest of our insurance towards IVF (which honestly, I'm not sure we can actually afford right now). Debating, debating. My life is one big decision right now it seems . . . between pregnancy stuff and work, I just need to catch a break!


Bebe (37) & Hubby (37) married since 2010 and have one sweet girl (1).
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#722 of 2219 Old 08-07-2012, 09:05 PM
 
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GreenMum - Thinking of you and hoping you get a bfp tomorrow.

 

Toothfairy - Hot tea in the summer doesn't sound very refreshing. Glad af wasn't too much of a problem for you this cycle.

 

Sherry - Maybe you'll get a surprise? If not I hope af arrives for you when you want it to. Hugs!

 

Bebe - Sorry the job thing is still an issue. I hope it is getting better there for you. you need less stress not more!

 

AFM: Af is bad. I'm taking otc arthritis meds for the pain as they are about 650mg each. I'm eating them like candy and they just take the edge off. Taking 4 at a time every 3 1/2 - 4 hours.  I'm currently stressing over our decision to home school ds. Went ahead and ordered a box curriculum and it came today. Seems rather easy but we shall see. Happily it's for preK so no biggy if we screw up or not finish. Now the fun part of schedules and such and I'm not a schedule person.


Me - 39 - mthfr c677t and multiple unknown caused m/c's
DH - 40 - old and cranky
DS - 6 - ASD and severe adhd
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#723 of 2219 Old 08-08-2012, 02:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Greenmum stalking.....

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DDX5 '88 '90 '92 '97 '99. TR 5/2011. HSG 9/2011 R TUBE OPEN. HSG 5/12 both tubes closed. SECOND tubal reversal surgery 7/12 , CP 3/2013 ttc "our" first @40 DH 46.
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#724 of 2219 Old 08-08-2012, 05:46 AM
 
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Sorry, I'm not going to be the one this month, Negative this morning..... waiting for AF..... today is 14 DPO and 16 days past my HCG shot......

 

I think I am going to try to take a break from pills, shots and other forms of pregnancy amplifiers...

I did this all by myself 4 times in 2 years.... I need to go back to my routes. Hubs is convince we can do this Sans drugs.... Well I'm going to give this a try.... cannot hurt. Kicking it old school style.

 

Thank you ladies for your wonderful support and kind words, it's been a hellish 2ww, and turing to all of you for support has been so helpful. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.... 

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#725 of 2219 Old 08-08-2012, 07:48 AM
 
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oh greenmum, i'm so sorry you are out, too. this is such a bummer. i think it's always a good idea to take a break from treatment every so often. for one, it gives you a chance to see how things are working on their own and for another, it's a nice emotional break as well.

 

sherry, i'm sorry for your bfn as well - though i know you weren't banking on it so soon after surgery. still a bummer to see a negative test. sounds like you are keeping up with all the moving and whatnot. how is your preggo dd doing? 

 

shell, i think we are down to just you and gtree now! come on baby shell! all our august hopes are riding on you!! you are like 7dpo today, right? 

 

gtree - what's the latest?

 

toothfairy - warm tea in august. that is tough! so glad to hear your cycles are getting better... didn't know about the vit c and cm connection... maybe they did the study with iui/ivf patients? 

 

bebe, i'm sorry ff took away your O! how rude. i'm pretty sure out of all of us you are going to end up pregnant with multiples with your awesome ovarian reserve and moving on to injectables. i totally understand that stagnant feeling with ttc, job, everything. i feel like in so many ways i am living in a metaphorical waiting room. i keep reminding myself that is just the season i'm in right now. it will pass. and then it will return. and pass. and return. such is life, i guess! i'm going natural this cycle simply because we are in the middle of refinancing our house (yay super low interest rates, gotta lock it in while we can) and had to get our giant (dead) laurel oak removed from our front yard ($1800!) so we could use a month to recover before spending more money on fertility treatments. also, waiting out a cycle will put me closer to that magical 3 to 4 month on dhea/coq10. so we'll see. 

 

skj - welcome!! wave.gif i must confess, i've stalked you a bit over on the infertility boards. we both have DOR and so i'm watching very carefully to see what your RE recommends verses mine! sorry your first IUI was a bust. so was mine. but onward we go... what else are you doing supplement/alternative treatment-wise? i'm all about soaking up as much info as i possibly can so please share what you learn here!

 

chrissy - your ds is preschool age! how fun! i love that age. though i know for sure i am not disciplined enough for home school! good luck figuring out your schedule. 

 

afm: 13dpo, started spotting this morning. wondering if i will have another longer lp this cycle since i typically spot for at least two days prior to starting AF. emotionally i have held up really well this cycle. have actually had more energy and felt pretty great during the end of my lp, even with the bfns. though last night i had a sudden crash in mood and did a little crying after dh fell asleep. so i wasn't surprised to see blood this a.m. i do think all my supplements are having some sort of a positive affect on me. my face seems to be clearer than it has been in a long time and (tmi alert) my bowel movements seem a lot more healthy, so that's something. i'm annoyed with my RE office... it has been two days since i left a message for the nurse asking what the next steps are and no return phone call. trying to muster up the energy to make another call. afraid i will be bitchy when i do. and i hate being bitchy. 

 

so, i'm trying to spend time thinking about what i look forward to when the i actually have children. i'm so focused on cycles and follicle development and mechanics that sometimes i forget why i'm doing all of this. so i've been letting myself daydream about things i look forward to. one that really stands out in my mind is halloween. i loved that holiday as a kid and i can't wait to experience my children's anticipation, decorating the house as a family, figuring out costumes, going to fall carnivals, going trick-or-treating... thinking about that stuff really gets me excited. i thought it would be fun if we could all share your daydreams to keep us focused on why we are doing all this nonsense! what images do you have in mind when thinking about growing your family?


read.gif(me - 37) trekkie.gif(him - 36)  parenting dog2.gifdog2.gif and cat.gifcat.gifand trying to add a human child to our family.

 

Early loss 10/2010. Dx: DOR and Endometriosis.  After 2.5 failed IUIs, Moving on to IVF - EPP/MDL

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#726 of 2219 Old 08-08-2012, 12:05 PM
 
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Thanks for the warm welcome!

Hi toothfairy wave.gif

Sorry for all the BFNs lately. I was hoping that someone would have good news to share. Fingers crossed for those ladies that have yet to test.

Indie - It's good to have another DOR lady on here. I feel like there aren't many of us on MDC. As for supplements, I've been going back and forth on what to take. I found the CCRM list of supplements and sent them off to my first RE for his approval. He said none would help, with the exception of CoQ10, but none would hurt. Since I changed REs, I haven't asked the new one. But, I've chickened out on some of them. So, here's what I'm currently taking:

prenatal
royal jelly/bee pollen in honey 1 tsp 2 times a day
100 mg of Ubiquinol (coq10) 2 times a day
1000 IU of vit D 2 times a day
Amazing grass super green food 1 time a day. Has wheatgrass, spirulina, cholrella, probiotics all in it.
1000 - 2000 mg of L-arginine divided into 2 doses
1000 - 2000 mg of fish oil divided into 2 doses
B50 complex
750 - 1500 myoinositol divided into 2 doses

Things I chickened out on: melatonin (3mg at bedtime) and DHEA.

I'm also taking chinese herbs up until O to thicken my lining. I'm doing acupuncture once a week, may go up to 2 times before O. I'm drinking RRL tea up until O and drinking pomegranate juice. After O, I eat sunflower seeds and pineapple.

ETA: I also gave up dairy and soy (obvious sources, I don't read labels), caffeine and alcohol. It's a fun life I'm living winky.gif

My CD3 b/w and u/s showed 11 antral follicles. My FSH was 7.63, E2 was 46. So, if my AMH wasn't 0.46, I'd say I don't have much to worry about. I've only been doing my regimen seriously for a few days. I started on a bunch of supps last month, but then I worried about them, so I just stopped.

I'll work on getting to know you ladies better so I can do personals smile.gif

S (35yo) wife to T (36yo) and mamma to my princess M (5/10/10).  After 3 losses in 2012, found an AMAZING doctor and gave birth to baby sister S on 11/12/13.
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#727 of 2219 Old 08-08-2012, 12:37 PM
 
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Chrissy, thanks for the work sympathy. I'm sorry about your bad AF this cycle! Just a caution from your friendly NP -- do not take more Ibuprofen than 3,200mg per day and always take with food. Does heating pad/warm bath help you at all? Hopefully the worst has passed now anyway. Hug!

 

Greenmum, I'm sorry for the BFN! I'm excited and curious to see how a natural cycle will go for you! Are you going to take any supplements at all? Do you O on your own?

 

Indie: Ha, sextuplets here I come! I'd take it in a heartbeat (or six heartbeats!). Your metaphorical waiting room comment rings so true to me. I feel like I'm just in a holding cell, and nobody will tell me when I'll get out or even why I'm there! It's tough day-by-day, especially when I really am trying to decrease my stress, stay positive and focus on a more spiritual meaning to all of this. I tell you though, your comment about thinking about the things you'll enjoy when you have kids - it definitely made me well up! I guess I don't allow myself to think about that so often, but perhaps it's a good thing that I do. I will love so many things: Christmas morning, Disneyland, hugs, giggles, reading to them as they fall asleep, watching them learn and grow right before my eyes, their first day of school. So many beautiful things. Halloween is a great one! So I think you should call RE again! These people charge way too much money for not enough service! I'm finding the same problem at my RE. So the DHEA/CoQ10 is for DOR?

 

DIY: So are most of your supplements for DOR? Also, are you eating the core with your pineapple after O? That's where all the bromolin is, which is the reason we eat it. I didn't know this initially, so just wanted to mention it in case you hadn't heard that either. So how did you learn about CCRM?

 

AFM: Low temp still today  . . . getting antsy. Called RE this morning to talk about next steps, and to see if I can get an U/S this weekend. Not quite sure what else to do. I did find a new acupuncturist last night  who specializes in fertility and am thinking of making an appt.


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#728 of 2219 Old 08-08-2012, 02:38 PM
 
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skj - thanks for your supplement list! what is the myoinositol good for? i guess i can go google it :) i was really nervous about the dhea, too. but after being on it for a month and half i feel good about it. no awful side effects like i feared. in fact i seem to have more energy - though that could also be attributed to all the other stuff i'm swallowing daily as well! i've also considered the melatonin but haven't made a decision about it yet. your numbers sound really great (way better than mine)! 

 

bebe - i loved your list of things you are looking forward to! i know what you mean about avoiding thinking about those things. i'm trying to break that habit. i have felt myself get really guarded through this whole process and i really want to soften up and allow myself to hope and dream. it's scary, though. the dhea and coq10 is for egg quality and egg quantity (in the sense that it has shown success with increasing number and quality of eggs retrieved). dhea is the iffy one because it is a hormone. but coq10 is totally safe for anyone and more and more REs are considering it a must have for egg quality. here' s another link (egg quality)  from my new favorite RE on the internets. i think i have an infertility crush on him Sheepish.gif

 

FINALLY heard back from the nurse. she said that since i responded really well to the 25mg clomid that they would do the same protocol next time. the doc likes to do the standard three cycles of the same protocol before moving on to something else. i don't know what to think. mostly, i can totally see that it makes sense to stay the course, i did respond well. but then i'm like... isn't there something MORE and BETTER we could be doing??? i don't know, like PUT A BABY IN ME RIGHT NOW?! anyway, i talked to dh and we will do another iui next month with the cycle that starts in early september. i think he is ready to start ivf right now but i'm really scared of ivf simply because it costs sooo much and my chances of success doesn't seem to be that much greater if i don't respond well to stims... 

 

ack. my head hurts from trying to analyze all this stuff. i need to go for walk.


read.gif(me - 37) trekkie.gif(him - 36)  parenting dog2.gifdog2.gif and cat.gifcat.gifand trying to add a human child to our family.

 

Early loss 10/2010. Dx: DOR and Endometriosis.  After 2.5 failed IUIs, Moving on to IVF - EPP/MDL

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#729 of 2219 Old 08-08-2012, 05:23 PM
 
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Oh my!! I am so stressed out!!! maybe I am too old :-(  ... I feel sorry for my DH more than myself... I had the luxury of raising 2 beautiful Daughters, he has never had his own to raise. so I am 9 dpo (according to FF) and 7 DPIUI .... I went to my new RE today and she was very nice and the clinic was REALLY nice... Probably why they are soooo expensive.. 400.00 for a consult is a lot!!! I only paid 300 because they didn't do the sono on me today... But she did a blood test on me .. AMH?? she said it would take a week to get the results back , she actually took the blood herself ( she was not so great at it OUCH, she had to stick me twice) She looked at my temp charts and when i had my 2 positive opk's and agreed that I probably ovulated late Sunday early Monday... That stupid RE knew I was ovulating when he was looking at my sono.. SO MAD he just wanted my money !! so glad I am changing!! My NEW RE told me that if i get a positive opk to call even if on a Saturday and they will have me come in the office on Sunday and do my IUI ... and she encouraged them and temping also :-) we also talked about IVF and IUI's  ... IVF if i have a good reserve.. and if not then she said not to waste my money and just keep doing iui's but if I have 3 failed iui's then she really thinks I should think of other options :-/ .... So anyway my next cycle will go like this.. call RE first day of period ... go in for a sono... start clomid 50 mg on cycle day 3 through 7 start follistim on cycle day 5 through 14 at 75 iu with sono's through out then we will trigger when time is right and then IUI then the awfull 2 ww ....... BUT I am still holding out hope for a BFP this cycle. (trying to remain positive) I think I can I think I can I think I can ... lol I am testing on Friday ... if AF hasn't showed then again next wednesday depending on how things go :-) even though i seem to like this new RE she still didn't give me that "this is going to happen" attitude that I longed for... I left feeling old and defeated. Sorry I started with my afm... Buit i just had to get all that off my chest. I feel like if I give up or don't succeed that I am going to be letting everyone down .. all the weight of the world is on my shoulders :-( taking a pee pee break before personals.. ok so does anyone else over anylyze there pee? LOL I stare at my toilet paper looking for any twinge of pink ... Thank God I haven't found any yet... But I am having some lower abdominal cramping :-( please stay away af praying.gif

 

SKJ: Welcome... this is a AWESOME group of women.. My lifeline during this ttc Your numbers look fantastic!!

 

Indie: I had like 10 minutes to peruse your internet crush and i think I could develop one too .. LOL I am so sorry about your bfn :-(  Someone has got to be our August winner EERRRGG ... I daydream all the time about what my baby will look like and laying in bed with DH and baby all cuddly and nursing him or her or BOTH ... I think of cute names all the time and if I have twins how I would dress them , i love halloween time too.. the smells , the weather, the outfits :-) thanks for bringing my thought's focusing on the prize and not the journey.. cause this journey has been hard.

 

Greenmum : I am sorry :-( It really does feel like a loss every month and then we have to grieve.. so month after month is so hard.. a break may do you good, I wish I could take a break but I am too old.. and with every month I am older :-( ugh

 

Bebe: I think injectables are the way to go... but only with iui... I have heard you can order them over seas for cheaper.. England.... I haven't been to my tcm in 2 weeks ... I feel bad , but it's so costly with all the added fertility stuff... I wish we had some type of insurance.

 

Chrissy: Sorry Af is so bad... i always enjoy a glass of wine and a warm bath also yoga helps with cramps.. all that light stretching works for me :-)

 

Toothfairy: i went 3 months with no cold drinks at all!! only warm or room temp. I finally had enough of it... But maybe I could do it if it was only durning my af.

 

Sherry: any news? how is the unpacking going?

 

Gtree: ??? where are you how is everything going?

 

come on August BFP we still have some hope goodvibes.gif


Me (40) dishes.gif    DH (39) geek.gif      DD (21) hearts.gif      DD (13) hippie.gif       2 angel3.gifangel3.gif   ......

 

5 failed IUI's all with clomid and injectables, first IVF failed.. 3 ER none made it to ET, fet scheduled for June 21  

* * * 4 * * * 8 * * * 12 * * * 16 stork-boy.gif* * 20 * * * 24 * * * 28 * * * 32 * * * 36 * * * 40

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#730 of 2219 Old 08-08-2012, 06:22 PM
 
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Laptop crashed so long responses will be out for a while. Love your lists & I agree with all. I alo look forward to snow days & swimmingpools & watching hubby teach our kds to pay sports (i'm not athletic sport wise).

I'm having a mental crisis. I wish I could just pick up the phone & talk to someone who gets it. 2 out of 30 days I am fine & sometimes that one real IF kinda day makes me wish I had a therapist. I mean, I dont think I need a therapist to keep my sanity I really just want someone to listen & say the right thing.. Is that so hard?! So here goes, you can be my therapist, kay?
So my cousin didnt come to my BBQ Saturday night because she thinks she makes me uncomfortable. Her son is 10 mos old, shes a month yonger than me & got married 2 years after me. I guess in a way shes right, I always feel at a loss for what to say or how to act with her. Also my sister & other cousin who have kids I'm very close to so my interaction with them & their kids is natural. I just feel like my emotion is justified, I'm the one hurting, the one at a loss. I feel like my right to my emoions has been violated. I know the intent was in the right place but I feel like I'm justified in being awkward, I can't have what I want but that doesnt mean i think you shouldnt have it. They are all good moms, they love their kids etc etc & they are my family. I wouldn't wish infertility or unhappiness on them. I guess my pointis, regardless of who is here or not there or what is said or done, there is a part of me that is sad, no reflectio on anyone else, it is just the cards I've been dealt. What makes me most sad is I try so hard not to be burdensome, I don't whine or complain or pity myself, through and through actually, it isn't just a face I put on. I feel very strong & faithful that our time will come and the fact that regardless of whether I share or don't share, people judge and whatever. That is my vent anyway. Theres more to it but I just can't go into every detail. I don't wish this experience on anyone but I wish for a moment they could just undertand, to know what it feels to walk in my shoes & have a little more compassion. I digress...

I feel like I hae PMS even though I'm CD3... Is this normal?! I keep crying, I'm super emotional... Time for a warm shower & a pedicure. Thanks for listening.

C + B + 10y together, 6y married, 5y TTC= endometriosis, Hashimoto's thyroiditis
recurrent miscarriages IVF 2/13@10w , FET 6/13@7w, IVF 10/13@4w, FET 2/14 @4w
Failed IVF 5/14, IVF OHSS Freeze all with PGD 8/14- 6 PGD normal embryos
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

Cautiously expecting TWINS after FET of 2 PGD normal 5 day blastocysts 9/13/14
***4***8**12***16***20***24***28***32***36* **40
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#731 of 2219 Old 08-08-2012, 08:06 PM
 
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DIY: thanks so much for recommending the list from CCRM! I am thinking of starting myoinositol. Sounds very promising!

 

Indie: It was actually so nice to let myself dream for a moment. I seriously don't think I've ever allowed myself that since struggling with IF. It felt wonderful. So I do take CoQ10 already, as well as Vit D, baby aspirin, folic acid, vitex (FertileAid), fish oil, B6 (100mg) . . . I'm seriously thinking of starting myoinositol. BTW, I totally have a crush on that RE, too! He seems so invested in his patients -- what a concept! I'm scared of IVF too in the case of it not working . . . I had a talk with my RE's nurse (see below) and am now trying to make a decision!

 

Shell: You have such a good plan, and I'm so glad your new RE is so supportive!

 

Tooth: I really do understand. I'm so sorry you are having one of those days. I'm thinking of you, and sending you lots of positive energy and love! I know you will get there -- I am absolutely sure of it and I'm not just saying that! You will hold your beautiful baby in your arms! If it were me, I might send your cousin an email that just about copied the message that you sent to us. I have two friends who recently had their second babies, and I am having such a hard time even barely communicating with them. Thank goodness for Facebook where I can simply click "Like" on their post when they talk about holding their beautiful baby in their arms, or the like. I can't muster much of a comment these days. I get it.

 

AFM: CD29 - nada. Called my RE today and spoke with one of the other RE's nurses. I love her. She is the one I spoke to before who made me feel better about things. She helped me devise a plan. I am going to definitely go with an injectable/IUI cycle. She said if I stimulate really well, they can convert it to an IVF cycle, which would be cheaper for us than an IVF cycle from the beginning. I don't really understand it all, but ok! I'm wondering if I should even waste a month of doing TCM with a new acupuncturist, or if I should just stay enough is enough and go straight to injectables? In a way I'd like to have an acupuncturist lined up. I suppose I could go soon, since I'm obviously not ovulating, and see if she can get things going. The nurse said that if I come in for an ultrasound soon that they can tell me if anything is happening and then if not, I can start injectables right away. I'm getting nervous because I feel like we are getting into big money now . . . big  money we really don't have!


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#732 of 2219 Old 08-09-2012, 08:12 AM
 
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toothfairy - i read you post late last night and it has been on my mind all morning. even had a good cry over it because it made me think of all the relationship awkwardness that is going on in my life right now due to IF. i know you weren't able to share all the nuances of what is going on with your cousin but my prevailing feeling about it all was anger and my prevailing thought is that she made something that you are dealing with about her. maybe if i had more information about how this all went down i wouldn't think that, but from what you shared, that's what it seems like to me. i can definitely tell that you are the type of person who doesn't whine or weigh people down with what you are struggling with. it upsets me that she essentially made something already difficult and emotional for you so much more so because now on top of everything else you have worry about how your feelings are affecting her feelings! 

 

the thing is, IF is not so much different than anything else that people go through in life that is separating and isolating - keeping you from being one of the "crowd". it's the same feelings as being single and desperately longing for a partner and feeling like you will never find him when everyone else around you has coupled up. or if everyone around you is advancing in his or her careers and buying houses and "growing up" and you feel stuck because none of that is happening for you. there are thousands of scenarios that can invoke the same type of feelings for people... so why on earth can't people empathize and imagine what it must feel like to want a child so bad and to not have one yet and somedays wonder if it will ever happen and YET have to do your best to go on with life, have parties, be around growing families, etc, etc, etc. OF COURSE there will be days that being around your cousin will make you uncomfortable. duh. and i'm sure you are closer with your sister and other cousin, in part, because they take an active interest in what you are going through in order to become a mom whereas you may have never had those conversations with this cousin. i know for me, it is a whole lot easier to not feel awkward towards and have genuine happiness for the moms in my life who, despite their ridiculously busy schedules and all the stresses and complicated feelings that come along with motherhood, remember to check in with me every once in a while to see how i'm doing and actually invest themselves in listening to and learning about what i have to go through to become a mom. i have a long time friend (pregnant with her third at the time) who, when i opened up to her about all that i'm having to go through to get pregnant, said "well, i can't wait for you to join the club. it really does change things when your friends don't have children" and then never once asked me since about how things are going, how i'm doing, what my next steps are - NOTHING. that was almost a year ago that we had that conversation. so basically, i'm not a parent, that makes us not close friends anymore, and she could care less about what i am going through but, hey, once i finally get the baby, give her a call so we can be moms together! goodness, i didn't realize how much that hurt me until typing it all out right now. 

 

you don't have to walk on eggshells around women with infertility. you just have to have common sense and empathy. don't ask "are you pregnant yet?" but do ask and show some interest in the process. since that is all women with infertility really have, the process of trying to get pregnant. i totally take responsibility for my tendency to isolate when going through a rough time but i do that because it is 10xs harder for me to open up to someone and then they don't listen, don't care, don't follow up or show any interest. i think the issue is not so much that people with children make women with IF uncomfortable, i think it's the other way around. 

 

rant over.

 

shell - i am so angry with your old RE!!!! (i'm feeling all kinds of anger today, apparently) seriously, that is almost lawsuit worthy!! they should have to pay you back for all that you spent on that entire cycle! i am so hopeful that you get the bfp anyway since you kept up with the bd'ing. i know i owe you some links and will pm them to you today. i really think you (and i!) have a lot of hope - it just may or may not be through ART. which is hard to accept because ART always seemed like the last choice yet sure bet to me... but there are women with high fsh/low amh and in their 40's who get pregnant on their own. 

 

bebe - i don't know how to do the quote thingy but YES to what you said about thank goodness for facebook. as much as i curse it, i might not have any friends without it! i'm very, very excited about you moving to injectables! i do feel like that is going to be the answer for you. and very cool that it can be converted to IVF for less!! 

 

afm - added myoinositol to my already ridiculous list of supps. thanks for the heads up, ladies!


read.gif(me - 37) trekkie.gif(him - 36)  parenting dog2.gifdog2.gif and cat.gifcat.gifand trying to add a human child to our family.

 

Early loss 10/2010. Dx: DOR and Endometriosis.  After 2.5 failed IUIs, Moving on to IVF - EPP/MDL

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#733 of 2219 Old 08-09-2012, 08:30 AM
 
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Just a quick drive-by with some citations on the myo-inositol thing. It works best with melatonin, it seems:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21463230
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20712264

Not scientific, but interesting nonetheless http://pullingdownthemoon.com/blog/2011/06/05/supplements-to-improve-egg-quality/

Be back soon for persies...

S (35yo) wife to T (36yo) and mamma to my princess M (5/10/10).  After 3 losses in 2012, found an AMAZING doctor and gave birth to baby sister S on 11/12/13.
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I'm back...

Toothfairy - I'm so sorry you are dealing with these emotions. I was so very naive with #1 coming so easily. This journey has really opened my eyes. I know I would have tried to be sympathetic, but I also know that if I hadn't been in my shoes, I would never really "get" it. So, I wish everyone I'm around could have a small dose of what IF feels like, just to understand how tortuous it is, day after day. I don't wish them to be on my path, but just to truly get it. Anyways, I'm totally rambling. Just want to say that I think I know how you feel and it sucks. For me, I remind myself of how lucky I am to be struggling. I know that sounds strange, but I feel like this journey has made me such a better person. It's taught me so many things about patience, trust, and living in the moment. No one who hasn't been through something like IF will get to experience that growth. I've been thinking lately how I want this so badly for so many women, not just myself. I hate that I have company on this road. I really hope that you are holding your baby in your arms very soon.

bebe - It helps so much to be listened to! I'm glad you have a plan going forward. That really helps me. I'm not up to speed on your acupuncture situation, so not sure what to recommend.

Indie - wow. that friend really sucks. That is so painful and not sympathetic at all. Why do some people just suck?

I had a situation with a friend where she kinda just stopped checking in. We had a frank discussion and she admitted she didn't know the best way to be helpful. It was nice to honestly tell her what would help me. I wish more people who didn't know what to say would just ask.

Shell - I"m so glad the new RE is not an asshat like the old one. I've been reading Making Babies and it talks a lot about RE's preying on women's vulnerability surrounding fertility and wanting a baby. I hate to think that there are actually people like that in this world, but clearly there are. I'm sorry you are still feeling down. I feel like this whole process is such a mind game. When I feel optimistic, I have no doubt ART will work. But, when I start to feel a little worried, it's a slippery slope. I just try to think about all the miracles that happen with or without ART. This can (and will) happen for you. Your body knows what to do, it just needs a little help.

AFM - I started out with an RE that also seemed to just want my money. I'm 34, have a 2 yo DD who was easy to conceive and had a miscarriage in March. The first RE looked at my numbers and said I need to go immediately to IVF. Since I had low reserves, there was no time to waste. I was both devastated and totally confused. It didn't make any sense. So, I got a second opinion and my current RE is WAY more relaxed. He doesn't think I'll need IVF and thinks b/c my AFC is in the double digits, I'll be fine. It was so reassuring. The first RE was the managing partner ($$$$) of the practice and the second (my current) is the medical director. I think that speaks volumes.

I had my second saline u/s this morning. This is all b/c I'm totally paranoid that my right tube is blocked. I've only ever gotten pg with a left side O. Despite having a saline u/s a few months back, I was still concerned that something was amiss. Instead of blowing me off, my current RE scheduled me immediately for a repeat u/s. I feel so happy knowing that he's validating my concerns. It helps so much to trust your doc. Day 3 of clomid tonight. Feeling totally fine. I start monitoring on Monday. Time to start plans to seduce DH. How often do you ladies DTD if there is an IUI coming up?

S (35yo) wife to T (36yo) and mamma to my princess M (5/10/10).  After 3 losses in 2012, found an AMAZING doctor and gave birth to baby sister S on 11/12/13.
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#735 of 2219 Old 08-09-2012, 01:57 PM
 
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fine. just picked up melatonin, too. this i getting ridiculous.

smile.gif

read.gif(me - 37) trekkie.gif(him - 36)  parenting dog2.gifdog2.gif and cat.gifcat.gifand trying to add a human child to our family.

 

Early loss 10/2010. Dx: DOR and Endometriosis.  After 2.5 failed IUIs, Moving on to IVF - EPP/MDL

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#736 of 2219 Old 08-09-2012, 05:18 PM
 
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http://www.localharvest.org/pregnancy-support-tea-C5006

I love this website. Lots of fertility related premade teas but she also put the ingredients so if you are like me & have 100 types of tea at home, you can DIY. I have to say, the 'hubba hubba' libido booster tea sparked my interest. I'm just afraid if I buy one thing I'll buy it all!


Indie- you wrote exactly what I couldn't put into words. Exactly. I'm feeling better about the whole thing today, I think in part because I have you girls that get it. Thats really crummy about your friend. Kinda the way I feel when i skip girls night they call it moms night out. What are people thinking?! I try & remind myself it isn't possible to even imagine this dark place (dark still even on 'good' days) when you arent living it. In a way even parenting after infertility I can imagine this stage feels like a bad dream, that is my hope anyway.

Shell- im glad to hear wonderful things about the new RE, even if she couldnt give you a 100% chance at success I think you are in better hands. Only a few more days to test! I hope you blow them outo the water & it is positive regardless of when you actually did ovulate. Sending positive thoughts your way!

SKJ- i think it funny bebe's autocorrect changes you to DIY. I'm glad you found anothe RE too, really seems like there are too many trying to take advantage of vulnerable women. I took melatonin for a while, good thing isit cant hurt, just helps you sleep restfully. I should try it again.

Bebe- i do love acupuncture but i'm on my third one in 18 months... They say if it doesnt work in 6 mos it prob wont work. The cost of everything really stinks, I hope they give you hope with the u/s. C'mon baby...


AFM- drinking tea and waiting for hubby to get home next week. Want a super healthy egg, just not too soon. Super hot flashes all dy, that high high dose of femara is rocking me. Not a side effect cuz it started before my dose last night but again i'm so emotional. I keep crying at the olympics! Really thats my only emotional time but I always cry... I'm such a dork! Back to acupuncture tomorrow. And then shes on vaca for 2 weeks (boooooo) so I'm on my own with ovulating & most of the 2ww.

C + B + 10y together, 6y married, 5y TTC= endometriosis, Hashimoto's thyroiditis
recurrent miscarriages IVF 2/13@10w , FET 6/13@7w, IVF 10/13@4w, FET 2/14 @4w
Failed IVF 5/14, IVF OHSS Freeze all with PGD 8/14- 6 PGD normal embryos
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

Cautiously expecting TWINS after FET of 2 PGD normal 5 day blastocysts 9/13/14
***4***8**12***16***20***24***28***32***36* **40
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#737 of 2219 Old 08-09-2012, 08:57 PM
 
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Indie, well said!! I was thinking similar, but didn't know how much to say. I'm glad you did. The whole thing can be so hurtful. I recently had a friend with three kids send me an email that said, "Are you pregnant yet, or what?!" Um, no. and thanks for asking!!! Ugh.  I've received every cliched response from friends with kids: "just relax" "stop worrying and it will happen" "enjoy your life before kids!", etc. Not what any woman with IF needs to hear. It makes me feel good that you think injectables could be the answer for me!  I really, really hope so, because I don't feel like I have too many more chances at this in regards to paying for it out-of-pocket. So you added myoinoistol, huh?! I am seriously considering it!

 

DIY: I would DTD every other day with an IUI coming up. How exciting for you!

 

Tooth: Thanks for the website, although wow, sort of dangerous to have bookmarked! I really want to order that tea! Have for DH coming home next week! Baby, baby, baby!


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#738 of 2219 Old 08-10-2012, 07:06 AM
 
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toothfairy - can you tell me your dosage/napro doc's rational for femara on one day? i just came across (5) 2.5mg pills that i think i'm going to use this cycle and i'm trying to determine if i should just do the standard days 3 - 7 or if i should maybe try what you're doing... 

 

skj - haha about seducing dh. i'm excited for you and round 2 of IUI... keeping my fingers crossed for you!

 

bebe - wow, "are you pregnant yet, or what"?! sigh. maybe you will catch up with her in one shot... come on triplets... ;-)

 

afm - cd 1 today. as i said above, thinking i will take this last round of femara that i have sitting around. just trying to determine if i do it cd 3-7 or try a different approach. 

 

thinking of you all...


read.gif(me - 37) trekkie.gif(him - 36)  parenting dog2.gifdog2.gif and cat.gifcat.gifand trying to add a human child to our family.

 

Early loss 10/2010. Dx: DOR and Endometriosis.  After 2.5 failed IUIs, Moving on to IVF - EPP/MDL

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#739 of 2219 Old 08-10-2012, 07:55 AM
 
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Indie - I was reading about when to take clomid b/c my cycle started off a little slow this month (spotting then AF at night), so I wasn't sure if I should start it on day 2/3 or 3/4. I went with 3/4, but I read a study that showed taking clomid from cd 1-5 had a greater response in terms of the number of follicles. I thought that was interesting. Maybe something to look into with femara?

Bebe - What is wrong with people?!?!?! Sorry about those mommies not thinking at all before speaking!

AFM - Looks like my seduction plans must have been telepathed to DH. He took the lead this morning, which is shocking since 1) we NEVER BD in the morning and 2) he barely ever takes the lead since he "doesn't know when I'm bleeding". Nice. Have you ladies ever been to a Brazilian steakhouse? They have these colored circles that you flip to red if you don't want to be served more meat, and green if you do. He suggested I get one of those for my nightstand so he "knows what's going on". Ha!

S (35yo) wife to T (36yo) and mamma to my princess M (5/10/10).  After 3 losses in 2012, found an AMAZING doctor and gave birth to baby sister S on 11/12/13.
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#740 of 2219 Old 08-10-2012, 01:28 PM
 
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Indie- The rationale is it kickstarts your pituitary gland to boost your bodies natual function without effecting the rest of your cycle. If you do it I'd also suggest 500mg of B6 starting on CD8 or 9 to strengthen your corpus luteum and improve cervical fluid. You stop it at ovulation, so only 4-5 days worth.


SKJ- i love that idea. I've never been to a brazillian bbq but the flipping the coin sounds like a great idea!

So my doctor was just telling me a NaPro Tech study is about to be released to the medical journals. They have a higher success ratte in 12 months than IFV with a more difficult population as most women turn to NaPo after failing ART. So higher age, infertile & history of failed ART getting pregnant with fewer interventions in less time. Interested to see how the medical community reacts. I hope it changes things...

C + B + 10y together, 6y married, 5y TTC= endometriosis, Hashimoto's thyroiditis
recurrent miscarriages IVF 2/13@10w , FET 6/13@7w, IVF 10/13@4w, FET 2/14 @4w
Failed IVF 5/14, IVF OHSS Freeze all with PGD 8/14- 6 PGD normal embryos
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

Cautiously expecting TWINS after FET of 2 PGD normal 5 day blastocysts 9/13/14
***4***8**12***16***20***24***28***32***36* **40
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#741 of 2219 Old 08-10-2012, 08:25 PM
 
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Indie, I have five 5mg tablets of Femara laying around too -- I'm keeping it for an emergency. ;) Interested to hear what you decide to do this cycle!

 

DIY: Ha! Years ago I think my DH would have loved that idea, because let me tell you -- he's always had the sex drive of a, well, I don't know, what's an animal with a crazy sex drive? Rabbit? ha, anyway . . . now with the pressure of sex all the time, he is no longer molesting me in my sleep! He's like, really, we have to do it again?! Too funny, and just about the last thing I would have ever predicted.

 

Tooth: So awesome about that study!! You've motivated me even more to make an appt with a NaPro Tech -- I found two near us.'

 

AFM: Well, FF gave me crosshairs again, and apparently I'm DPO11. Not exactly holding my breath on this one, but will definitely be interested in tomorrow's temp!


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#742 of 2219 Old 08-11-2012, 08:41 AM
 
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toothfairy - thanks for the info! i'm sitting on the fence about whether to do it 3-7 or all on 3... honestly, the only thing holding me back from trying the all on the cd3 thing is the thought of having to go out and spend more money on yet another supplement! i have bcomplex but i do not have that high of dosage of b6. i might just do it the old way. it's the lowest dose, anyway. i can't wait to read the NaPro study!! the last i looked into napro docs there were not any near me. that's why i'm always pumping everyone i know for information ;-)

 

skj - the red/green dot sounds like a brilliant plan. your dh should market it! that's interesting about the clomid starting on cd1, i've never heard of that! i can't imagine if the internet didn't exist. i would have no information, whatsoever!

 

bebe - i can't imagine how frustrating it must be to have so much confusion over when you O'd! but then again, that's kinda cool to already be 11 dpo! you go to skip all those days of obsessing over every little symptom! fingers crossed!

 

afm: cd2 today. absolutely ZERO endo-type pain this cycle. this really makes me wonder if the pain has something to do with ovulating (or attempting to ovulate) from my right ovary? i have confirmation that i did ovulate and it was from my left ovary this time... and no pain... so i guess this month will be very telling... 

 

shell? sherry? gtree? news??


read.gif(me - 37) trekkie.gif(him - 36)  parenting dog2.gifdog2.gif and cat.gifcat.gifand trying to add a human child to our family.

 

Early loss 10/2010. Dx: DOR and Endometriosis.  After 2.5 failed IUIs, Moving on to IVF - EPP/MDL

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#743 of 2219 Old 08-11-2012, 12:49 PM
 
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Indie-Lol- i think my B6 was only $5, one of the cheaper of my supplement arsenal! Speaking of, I need more Pycnogenol & that ish is expensive!


AFM- still having hot flashes & crying uncontrolably. Just read a book with a sad ending & I'm all cried out. Didn't help that I had lunch with my former coworker who told me shes due Feb 1st with #2. FML.

C + B + 10y together, 6y married, 5y TTC= endometriosis, Hashimoto's thyroiditis
recurrent miscarriages IVF 2/13@10w , FET 6/13@7w, IVF 10/13@4w, FET 2/14 @4w
Failed IVF 5/14, IVF OHSS Freeze all with PGD 8/14- 6 PGD normal embryos
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

Cautiously expecting TWINS after FET of 2 PGD normal 5 day blastocysts 9/13/14
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#744 of 2219 Old 08-11-2012, 06:05 PM
 
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Howdy!

 

I'm here, just quiet!

 

SKJ - I love brazillian bbq and think we should have a red a green circle for everything. 

 

Toothfairy - sorry about your cousin, I knew you were upset when I was getting one sentence at a time over our draw game. ;)  Hope you feel better.  I cry constantly watching the olympics.  Except for water polo.

 

Indie - Do you have one of those giant day of the week pill things? 

 

Bebe - Great that you are starting injectables.  I think insurance covers iui, so if you switched mid cycle to ivf, this first part would be covered.  Which kind of makes me think that is what I should have done...  Let us know what your protocol will be!

 

Shelly - hey girl!

 

AFM - I feel like this cycle is in slow motion.  The LUPRON is bad.  I wake up angry at the world and stay like that all day long.  I miss the clomid mood swings, they seem mild in comparison.  DH is being as sweet as he can be, but I seriously hate everyone.  (except for all of you).  Monday is my first bw and u/s this cycle.  I'm actually looking forward to being monitored again at least it will feel like something is happening.  Did I mention that I am in a bad mood?  And BLOATED like a cow.  Two weeks from now I will hopefully have lots of eggs growing in a lab somewhere.  Eye on the prize.


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#745 of 2219 Old 08-11-2012, 06:07 PM
 
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Oh, PS. I met my new neighbor who is 9 months pregnant after trying for 10 days.


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#746 of 2219 Old 08-12-2012, 08:21 AM
 
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Indie: yeah, it's nice to not have known I was past ovulation in a way, although I'm still not totally confident it's true. Time will tell I suppose! I also think it's possible that I'm only a few days past ovulation, opposed to DPO12 according to FF. That's so great that you do not have any endo-type pain!! That must be such a relief and give you much more hope! That's what we all need - HOPE!

 

Tooth: sorry for the co-worker. That exact scenario has become my permament nightmare. Anytime someone asks me to lunch or dinner I think, "F$*@, another one is pregnant?!" Oh what an uncomfortable way to find out too and then have to sit through lunch and smile. PAINFUL. I've been there. So sorry :(

 

Gtree, ok now I get it! Thanks for the insight. I think this is what I'm going to do in the next month or two. My only hesitation is that once we do it, no more insurance money left, so I need to feel physically and emotionally ready to make it successful!! Gosh, so sorry about the Lupron!! I hope that U/S tomorrow shows that it's all worth it! That's right -- eye on the prize!! P.S. Super annoying about your neighbor!!! It makes me want to scream.

 

AFM: Forgot to temp this morning before getting up to use the restroom, so hard to say if temp was at all accurate when I laid back down to take it, but it's still elevated. FF says I'm 13DPO today. Looking at my chart, that's either correct, or I'm DPO5 today. I did have some sticky CM yesterday, and it has the slightest brown tinge to it, so either I'm starting my period, or maybe it was implantation spotting. Glass half empty vs. glass half full, I suppose. My chart is crazy though: 


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#747 of 2219 Old 08-12-2012, 06:34 PM
 
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Hey ya'll ....... I started AF last Thursday ... and I have been crying every day since then... Me and DH are giving it a break this month no drugs , no RE, no acupuncture, I am however taking my vitamins and BD'ing and temping and opk's.... But the stuff that cost a lot of money i am staying away from and saving up for next cycle... or if my amh comes back ok I am thinking of doing IVF .. I will find out wednesday. My face is a mess and my I feel like a bloated cow... so i am making the next 25 day's all about ME !! working out, tanning , bubble baths and wine!! i might even allow myself to eat sushi one day. .. my question is how much more can I take? its so expensive.. and I feel like there has been a death every month when my af comes... Its so hard.

 

I promise I will come back for personals PROMISE!! I am feeling so negative right now I just don't want to say anything... Love to you all!!


Me (40) dishes.gif    DH (39) geek.gif      DD (21) hearts.gif      DD (13) hippie.gif       2 angel3.gifangel3.gif   ......

 

5 failed IUI's all with clomid and injectables, first IVF failed.. 3 ER none made it to ET, fet scheduled for June 21  

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Ohhhh Shell I'm so sorry :-( take th time you need to pamper yourself & feel whole again. This process is exhausting. Drink some wine for me!

Bebe- wow your chart is onfusing! Wait & see I guess... I can't really even speculte :-/

Gtree- have you been emotionally sobbing at the Olympics like me?! Dang hormones! Ugh to the neighbor, 10 days, must have felt like a lifetime. Ugh again.

AFM- hot flashesar improving, they are mostly at night nyway. Praying DH gets hme in time. Can't wait to see his handsome face... & jump him, or course.

C + B + 10y together, 6y married, 5y TTC= endometriosis, Hashimoto's thyroiditis
recurrent miscarriages IVF 2/13@10w , FET 6/13@7w, IVF 10/13@4w, FET 2/14 @4w
Failed IVF 5/14, IVF OHSS Freeze all with PGD 8/14- 6 PGD normal embryos
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

Cautiously expecting TWINS after FET of 2 PGD normal 5 day blastocysts 9/13/14
***4***8**12***16***20***24***28***32***36* **40
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#749 of 2219 Old 08-12-2012, 07:28 PM
 
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Shell, I'm so, so sorry. I really do understand the depths of your disappointment, and I wish there was something I could do or say to help right now. I am just so sorry, and I'm here with you, giving you a big hug from afar! Doing all those nice things for yourself is well-deserved! Eat that sushi! Taking a month to not have to do all the meds is actually nice . . . two months now I haven't done too much, and it's been a good break. At least a slightly lesser level of stress. After a month off, you'll be ready to tackle this all again!

 

So today I went to the hospital to visit my friend who just had a beautiful baby girl. I held her for an hour, and had to force a smile the whole time. I wanted to cry so much. Just the feeling of that tiny little creature in my arms, in all her perfection, it was almost too much. I'm glad I was there to congratulate my friend, but it has hurt me. Then of course I feel guilty that it hurts me. But tonight I'm just quiet, and trying to hard to keep moving forward. I read an interview with Deepak Chopra this morning, and it kind of encouraged me to really try to understand life in a deeper way, and make sense out of all this struggle. If I only knew there would be a light at the end of the tunnel, I could do as much easily. It's so hard when you just don't know. Anyway, that's where I'm at today, DPO13 or DPO5.


Bebe (37) & Hubby (37) married since 2010 and have one sweet girl (1).
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#750 of 2219 Old 08-13-2012, 05:34 AM
 
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oh, shell. my heart is breaking for you. i'm so, so sorry. i think taking a month off to focus on you is such a terrific idea. do whatever you need to do to feel whole and beautiful inside and out. this stupid process can makes us feel like broken machines so quickly. does the start of your AF line up with ovulating 2 days earlier than what your old RE told you? i know you probably don't have the strength to fight right now, maybe your dh does, but i would seriously start to pressure your old RE for a refund for the entire cycle. i would threaten negative reviews on the internet, everything. you absolutely deserve to get your money back so you can put it towards your next steps. i look forward to hearing all about your month of shell!

 

toothfairy - lol, you are right. b6 is not a huge expense. i swallowed all my femara last night and have the megadose of b6 at the ready for cd8. glad you got some good cries in. sometimes i wish dh traveled for work (but a just a little bit, have to be careful what i wish for!) so i could have some girl-space to do things like cry or talk endlessly about girl stuff with friends. here's hoping everything lines up for you with ovulation!

 

gtree - 10 days. sigh. i guess that would have been me had my first pregnancy lasted. sorry you are angry at the world! maybe you should take on shell's fight with her old RE since you have some anger to spare! lol. look forward to hearing about your growing embies in the near future!

 

bebe - isn't that fun? feeling hurt and then feeling guilty that you are feeling hurt? SO. FUN. i'm hoping there is a little bambino snuggling into your uterus right now... also, i love deepak. 

 

afm: blah. cd4. august is my least favorite month of the year. it's also nearing my two year anniversary since my first/only/failed pregnancy. life just feels kinda dull and boring right now. that's probably because i feel dull and boring. i need to get interesting, i guess!


read.gif(me - 37) trekkie.gif(him - 36)  parenting dog2.gifdog2.gif and cat.gifcat.gifand trying to add a human child to our family.

 

Early loss 10/2010. Dx: DOR and Endometriosis.  After 2.5 failed IUIs, Moving on to IVF - EPP/MDL

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