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#1 of 13 Old 05-21-2012, 08:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I just got my period after my 5th cycle trying. (I had a miscarriage about a year ago, and we took about 6 months off after that). Before TTC I was an experienced FAM user so I have a very good handle on my cycles (which are quite textbook with clear ovulatory signs), and I am only 30, so I wasn't really expecting TTC to be something we had trouble with. Also when we first started trying I got pregnant right away (and miscarried).

 

I just called my gyno and I'm getting the cycle day 3 tests (I think FSH and LH?). My husband is getting a semen analysis. SO I'm wondering what to do from here? 1) What do we do with the information garnered by these tests- if hormone levels are abnormal are there easy solutions? 2) Is it too early for me to be worried? At what point should an active FAM user be concerned? I feel like EVERYONE in my life got pregnant immediately.

 

I guess I'm looking for support, too. I am really frustrated and scared. And I am a busy career woman with a very full social life who loves to travel, so it sucks that I've put my whole life on hold for this baby thing that doesn't even seem to be happening-- so many things I don't feel like I can commit to or plan (like boozy events with friends, or a European vacation). I would be fine not doing those things for the sake of a baby, but there is no baby so it all feels for naught. My husband is really sweet and understanding but obviously this doesn't affect him in the same way.


Happily married for 5 years. Tried for our first baby 6/2011, got preg right away, and miscarried. Took a 4 month break, and then had nothing but infertility & a few early miscarriages until 12/2012 when we learned I had a lumpy edge in my uterus. Doc removed it and now we are trying again....

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#2 of 13 Old 05-21-2012, 10:01 AM
 
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Deep breaths! Go to Europe, have fun! Maybe relaxing will help a lot. Losing a baby is very hard and it's even worse when you feel like everyone else is getting prego and you're left with the non-helpful drinking water ;-) 

In terms of boozy events, I would probably go and just either have 1 drink or none and drink cranberry juice with seltzer with a twist so it looks like there is vodka in it. 

Other than that, see what your results say and try to enjoy the process. It can be draining.


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#3 of 13 Old 05-21-2012, 12:19 PM
 
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It can be so hard TTC when everyone seems to have no trouble!  Is there anything in your charting that leads you to suspect a problem? low temps, short LP, etc?  The other tests I have had done that are quick and easy are thyroid, insulin, fasting glucose, progesterone (7 dpo, or preferably 5, 7, 9 dpo to see trend).  Some of them have very easy solutions and for me it turned up some unexpected things so it is worth checking out.  Most MDs won't have a problem testing them, it can almost all be done in 1 blood draw.  I have always been a worrier and on the side of finding things out sooner than later, but you are really still early in trying for this round.  

 

Good luck with your TTC and hopefully it passes quickly, just plan those vacations within the next 4-5 months so you will be able to go no matter what! 


 

I am 29, married to DH for 2 years with 2 crazy pups and, after what feels like a huge wait (shorter than many, longer than wanted!), we are expecting our first little one April 2013.joy.gif

 

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#4 of 13 Old 05-21-2012, 12:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks so much to both of you! It is hard when it seems like everyone just slips on a banana peel and WHOOPS gets pregnant!

 

I have been hesitant to plan any major travel because for me a big part of the fun is eating and drinking all the local delicacies (which may not be preg-safe). Also I like to really run around and see and do stuff, and isn't the 1st trimester miserable? (not that I know from personal experience).


But then again putting my life SO on hold has been making me miserable so maybe I should just go on a trip in September, pregnant or not pregnant...

 

I'll look into those other tests you mentioned. Thank you so much.


Happily married for 5 years. Tried for our first baby 6/2011, got preg right away, and miscarried. Took a 4 month break, and then had nothing but infertility & a few early miscarriages until 12/2012 when we learned I had a lumpy edge in my uterus. Doc removed it and now we are trying again....

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#5 of 13 Old 05-21-2012, 06:31 PM
 
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I think for someone who knows their cycle well and hasn't conceived by six months, a trip to an RE is a good idea.  They will do baseline testing and check your ovulation timing and such.  Then, you can go from  there, either with help if needed, or just wait it out if nothing appears to be wrong.  My husband and I wasted a lot of time, first because a midwife told me after 6 months of trying that I needed to wait at least a year, and then by going to an ob/gyn who did a lot of invasive tests on me and missed my husbands problem.  I really wish that I had just gone to a good RE to begin with.  All in all, it took over 3 years of trying to conceive our first.  Whatever you decide, I wish you lots of luck!
 


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#6 of 13 Old 05-22-2012, 12:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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olive, thank you.

 

I really do think that for a young healthy couple, where the woman has regular cycles and clear ovulatory pattern, after 4 months of trying something is likely not right. 

 

It's comforting to see in someone's signature that they have 3 kids when they had trouble with their first!!! So clearly, you are able to have children. When you say "your husbands problem", do you mean low sperm count?

 

He just got a semen analysis, we haven't gotten the results back yet. If his count or motility are low, what can be done about it? Every time I read resources for sperm count they say obvious things like "eat healthy" and "quit smoking" and "get plenty of sleep". We both take great care of our health so it's frustrating, and I'm wondering what options are out there if that is indeed the problem. We should know this week.


Happily married for 5 years. Tried for our first baby 6/2011, got preg right away, and miscarried. Took a 4 month break, and then had nothing but infertility & a few early miscarriages until 12/2012 when we learned I had a lumpy edge in my uterus. Doc removed it and now we are trying again....

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#7 of 13 Old 05-22-2012, 12:42 PM
 
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I agree with organicviolin.  Take some deep breaths and try to relax.  Each month you have a 20-25% chance of getting pregnant.  50% get pregnant after 5-6 months, according to my Google search.  Sometimes it just takes time.  It's possible that something is amiss after 4 months of trying, but not likely.  There might be absolutely nothing wrong.  Practice your patience now because you will need it when you have a child.  Good luck to you!




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#8 of 13 Old 05-22-2012, 01:57 PM
 
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dauralia, if you are still in the process of figuring out what is going on but also looking to naturally maximize your chances while you figure things out a great book is Making Babies.  A friend of mine who has fertility issues recommended it and it is great.  It looks at things from both an Eastern and Western approach and then has advice on what to look for and what to do from both perspectives.  It isn't a magic fix but it has definitely made me feel at least somewhat more in control and at least fell like I know what to ask for.  This is my first month of the supposedly 3 month plan so we will see how it goes.  

Good luck and lots of baby dust to you!  


 

I am 29, married to DH for 2 years with 2 crazy pups and, after what feels like a huge wait (shorter than many, longer than wanted!), we are expecting our first little one April 2013.joy.gif

 

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#9 of 13 Old 06-09-2012, 07:04 PM
 
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Daurelia - I'm glad I found your post because I came on here with a similar-ish story :)

 

I so feel you about wondering why two healthy, young people have a hard time conceiving, especially when everyone else seems to have no problem doing so (and some who are making less healthy choices). It is isolating and just plain frustrating not knowing why it isn't happening and there are so many factors that make it so complicated. I tend to agree with those who said that four months is really early to be worried about something bigger going on. Four months, to me, is still sooooo early in the game. But I know that even a few months can seem like forever, especially when you assumed it would happen quickly and easily.

 

I have a 5-year-old son and it took us 1.5 years to conceive him. We never did any testing and just did our best to go with the flow, surrender and be patient. That was probably the hardest thing I ever had to go through in my life and it taught me a lot about myself and about not having everything go my way. I was forced to be in this uncomfortable middle ground and man did it test me. It even spurred me to make this website: http://www.tlcforttc.com

 

So now, I find myself in the same place. We are TTC #2 and here we are about 1.5 (give or take) years into it. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit angry about it taking this long AGAIN, although this time around has been easier in that I have avoided some of the pitfalls of last time. But I thought for sure it would be fast this time. I have no idea why, but I guess I felt like it was owed to me after last time. Ha! Also, this time has been less strategic than last because I have been trying to be more relaxed about the whole thing (and having a 5-year-old and a job does keep me busy), but then it also leads to feeling like we haven't been giving it our all because some months we will only BD once. This month I am going to try OPKs even though I feel like they are a waste and I know more than they do about my body. I have charted many times in the past and I know what EWCM is and what it means, so I feel like I have a good idea of when I ovulate, but I thought why the heck not - what if it surprises me and I learn something new?!

 

We avoided testing last time and I was hoping not to go that route this time around, but there is a part of me that wonders if it's not just a coincidence that it took us 1.5 years with my son and it's taking us longer now too. So, I/we decided to have my DH do an SA, just like yours. We get the results next week. It felt like the easiest thing to do to get some information. If the SA comes back fine, I will probably get some basic hormone testing done (or whatever the initial tests are - I have no idea) and then see what comes out of that. If there is something off, I hope to try natural remedies for it, but if there isn't anything off with either of us, I feel like I will at least have the peace of mind that all is well and we just need to keep keepin' on.

 

I also posted a thread a while back that may be of interest to you about why conception happens so easily for some and not for others - I will see if I can find it. 

 

About your trip(s), I say book 'em. It would be a good problem to have to be pregnant and have to decide what to do about the trip :) My first time TTC, I found that the more I put things on hold, the more stressful it became to me because I was subconsciously (and consciously) expecting to be pregnant by a certain time. I am a planner by nature and so this part was really hard for me, but I feel like it was part of my journey.

 

Baby dust to you! 

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#10 of 13 Old 06-09-2012, 07:07 PM
 
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Here is that thread from a while back in case it resonates with you :)

 

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1343187/how-much-of-this-is-on-me-how-much-is-on-my-baby-to-be

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#11 of 13 Old 06-11-2012, 07:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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happy2bamama, thank you so much. I really, really appreciate your words- reading your comments I really felt like you understood exactly what I was saying about being a planner and having to put everything on hold and expecting to be pregnant by X time, etc. UGH.

 

So we got DH's test results back from getting his squigglies analyzed, conveniently, we got the test results back right before my fertile phase so we could adjust accordingly. And his numbers are THROUGH THE ROOF good. Much higher than average volume, count, motility, and morphology, with no bad antibodies or anything like that.


So I can't decide if I am overjoyed at the news are depressed. Part of me is overjoyed because we at least know the spermies are good and this cycle we did it every single day, sometimes twice a day (which I know is not recommended, but I figure with his high numbers it couldn't hurt to try it this cycle). But part of me is crushed because it means that if there is a problem, it's me :(
 
I'm in the 2ww again now so we'll see what happens now that we did it every day.
 
We can't do the "day 3" testing on me for awhile, because I will be out of town on Day 3 of my cycle, every cycle all summer. So with the good news about DH's sperm and the inability to test me, my summer plan is for us to keep trying to conceive, and for me to eat as healthfully as possible, and for me to relax about it and have a fun summer as much as I can. So far, it feels good.
 
NewtoTTC, I ended up buying that book- you and someone else recommended it to me. A LOT of good information in there!!! That was really helpful, thank you.

Happily married for 5 years. Tried for our first baby 6/2011, got preg right away, and miscarried. Took a 4 month break, and then had nothing but infertility & a few early miscarriages until 12/2012 when we learned I had a lumpy edge in my uterus. Doc removed it and now we are trying again....

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#12 of 13 Old 06-11-2012, 06:32 PM
 
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Wow - through the roof?! That's awesome! Although I totally understand what you're saying about sort of hoping you'd have an answer. I was thinking about my DH's test results (which we haven't gotten yet) and was asking myself what I hope they come back as and although I would love a clear answer and be able to say, "Oh, so that's why we don't get pregnant easily!" I really hope they are through the roof like your DH's. That would be one thing working well and out of the way. Because if your DH had low sperm count, you probably would still be worried about if you had any issues, right? So either way - sperm through the roof or low - you would probably still be unsure about you. What I'm getting at is there is no answer that makes everything all right since we just can't know :)

 

I hope all your hard work pays off! ;)

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#13 of 13 Old 06-13-2012, 01:26 PM
 
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My insurance would cover NOTHING from an RE until we had been "trying " a year. irked.gif


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