Not sure where to start when trying to conceive - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 07-20-2012, 11:47 AM - Thread Starter
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Feeling kinda overwhelmed by the whole process.


Back story: I got pregnant twice as a teenager but lost both before 8 weeks. Went to the doctor- no reason found for either.

I am now 26 years old. My fiancee is 28 years old. We are getting married in February. We finally have decided we want to start having a family. 


We know this will be a long and difficult process. In April 2010, my fiancee became a paraplegic due to a car accident. Men who have spinal cord injuries have difficulties with fertility.


I have been looking at lots of threads here and I am overwhelmed by a new language so to speak. I don't know any of the abbreviations and many terms.


I have gone off birth control pills (talked to my doctor), started taking prenatal vitamins, cut back on my coffee, trying to stress less, looked up a fertility chart (and I will be fertile between July 20th-25th). 


Feeling overwhelmed by it all. 


Its hard seeing so many of my friends and family having children for both of us.


Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated.



Me 28, DH 31 
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, 2 Kitties 
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and working towards having Baby #1. 
“The past has no power over the present moment.” Eckhart Tolle
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#2 of 2 Old 07-20-2012, 12:48 PM
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Hi, I know you didn't intend it to be funny, but your title made me LOL (before I read your post.) I thought to myself, wellll, when a man and woman love each other very much...

TTC does not have to be complicated. Just have sex during your fertile time and it might happen within a few cycles. You shouldn't assume there is a problem until you've been trying for a while. Lots of couples who are both perfectly fertile take months and months to get pregnant, so if it takes a little while that's not a cause for concern.

I don't know anything about spinal cord injuries and male fertility, but if you are concerned about sperm count then your DH could go to a male fertility specialist and get checked out.

If you aren't sure when you are ovulating, or if your cycles are irregular, you should learn how to chart your temperature and pay attention to your CM (cervical mucus) if you aren't already. Taking Charge of Your Fertility is a great book.

The most important things to know is that stretchy egg-white consistency discharge, along with a soft cervix (learn to reach in and feel with your fingers) coincides with ovulation. When you ovulate your temperature goes up and stays up until you get your period, then it goes back down until your next ovulation. Those are the very very basics.

After charting for a few cycles, you will have a good idea of your fertile *window* if not your actual ovulation day, and you can have sex every other day during that window.

All of this is optional--I would put in the effort since you suspect infertility, especially if you are in a hurry to conceive. But of course, you could also just make sure to DTD (do the deed) as much as possible and see what happens! wink1.gif

Good luck to you and your DH!

ETA: I re-read your post and noticed you've already got an idea of your fertile window--you are already ahead of the curve! I say you start by having sex a lot between July 20-25. Don't get your hopes up too much, but don't rule out the possibility!

Your DH can go get a sperm analysis done now, or you can wait, say 3-6 months before going the route of testing/specialists, as that may turn out to be unnecessary.
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