Ridiculous TTC Fail - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 8 Old 08-20-2012, 12:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Ladies!

 

It's been a few months since I've posted but I have to vent my recent TTC fail as you all are the only ones I know will understand!  This past cycle would have been the 9 cycle of TTC, and 8th cycle of planned BDing.  I missed the cycle in June because I was away visiting my sick grandfather, out of country, away from my DH.  I vowed to never miss another month because there is nothing worse in the TTC world than not being with your DH when you O!!!  I was once again out of town but planned strategically to be back with my DH before I O'd.  I then had to push my return date back about 2 days because I fly standby (family works for airline, I get cheap tickets) and the weekend loads were looking full.  So I said, OK, I'll aim to get home on Monday at the latest and that should be the O date and we can at least have one BD session.  I arrive at the airport on Sunday and end up trying to get on 9 flights on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday.  I did not get out of that city until Tuesday morning!!!!

 

All day Monday was the WORST because my body was screaming ovulation.  I had lots of EWCM, so much that I constantly felt wet down there (sorry for TMI).  Not to mention that every single flight I tried getting on had at least one young couple with newborns on it, I wanted to scream and beg for someone to switch places with me so that I could have baby making sex with my DH in time. Thankfully I did not visibly freak out.  To make matters worse, they sent my suitcase, with my thermometer, ahead of me on Sunday night, so I couldn't temp on Monday or Tuesday.  I assume I O'd on Monday because of the EWCM.  I woke up on Tuesday still not any closer to my DH with some watery CM but with low spirits as I knew I had a whole day of travel to get through before even seeing my DH.  That night, we did BD but I knew it was too late.  I am now out two cycles of BDing this year which seriously irritates me.

 

I've been trying not to obsess over my TTCing, hence not posting on here for while, but my attempts seem pointless.  Ever now and then it feels good to vent to someone who really understands what I'm going through, and I know you all do!  Does anyone else have any TTC fail stories?  

 

Also, does it not seem like EVERYONE is getting pregnant but you?  The other day, on my FB newsfeed, 4 of my FB friends posted their newborn baby pictures in one day.  The same day, 2 others posted sonograms pictures, one boy and one will be surprise!! yay!!  Another one posted that she has reached 19 weeks!! yahoo!!!  Lastly, my 16 year old second cousin (not married, not finished high school) posted that she is 17 weeks along, my grandmother will now be a great-great-grandmother!  Anyways, I feel like I am the ONLY one not pregnant.  I didn't see the 6th year of my marriage turning out this way, I'm trying hard not to slip into depression!  

 

Sorry for the rant. 


28 years old, married 6 years to a 27 year old geek.gif man, with cat.gifcat.gifdog2.gif and we have been TTCing seven cycles since Jan. 2012.  Samuel 1:19 "...and the LORD remembered her."

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#2 of 8 Old 08-20-2012, 01:17 PM
 
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Hugs to you. I can totally relate and I share your frustration in seeing everyone else achieve what you so desperately want.

Don't have any fail stories to share with you. Just wish DH would go and get his swimmers checked out...

Hope you feel better soon. TTC sure is an emotional roller coaster and a test of our strength, faith and patience.


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#3 of 8 Old 08-20-2012, 03:14 PM
 
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I can totally relate to everything you're going through. Just have faith that pregnancy seems to happen on its own timeline. Allowing yourself to vent is a healthy part of the process because sometimes it just plain sucks and you need to get it out. Everyone I know seemed to easily get pregnant while I struggled, but now I'm so blessed and the timing worked out better than I could have ever planned. Everything just fell into place when it was supposed to, and while women who easily get pregnant may be very appreciative, having it NOT come so easily made it all the more precious when it finally happened. Having six years together, just the two of you, is a beautiful thing. I'll always cherish the 7 years of just me and hubby. We have a solid foundation for a child because of those years and our ttc struggles smile.gif

New mama!
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#4 of 8 Old 08-20-2012, 03:26 PM
 
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Oh I can totally relate. I feel the exact same as you. The joke at my work is that every girl is pregnant and even our Mat leave employees are getting pregnant.  I've been TTC for 5 months, feels like a lifetime. (I know, I know... not that long compared to others). And when the girls at work are lecturing me about "knowing your body" and "just have sex" because they got pregnant 1 week before O (that's the claim) or only had sex once.... it's beyond frustrating. 

I made an appointment with a fertility clinic in Montreal, a lot of it is covered by our government, but I'd like to try and take matters into my own hands as the both of us have had "issues" in the past that may be stopping our BFP. 

 

This month we have had sex almost every day (a new tactic that i'm not all that thrilled about) and we are just exhausted and forcing sex which is not really the best (it has become un-fun).

 

Anyways I fell your pain. We all do :)

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#5 of 8 Old 08-21-2012, 11:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Dakipode, thanks for your kind words!  I hope your DH does get checked out, mine says he won’t even if he needs to.  Men can be so stubborn!

 

ISIS, congrats on your baby!  That is so exciting.  I love hearing about stories when a baby finally comes after a lot of time trying.  I know my 8-9 months isn’t long at all but it seems like so much longer since I was ready for kids 3 years ago.  Best of luck with your pregnancy!


Winsova, I miss Canadian health care! I’m Canadian and since living in the states the health care here drives me crazy.  I buy own insurance, over $200/month and that doesn’t cover fertility issues.  I hope you can find the cause for your long wait!  Thanks for your kind words and good luck with the constant BDing! My DH would not be able to handle that!

 

Update on myself…..you would not believe this, I’m not even sure if I believe it yet.  Just a few hours after I wrote this post, I get an e-mail from my younger brother telling me that he and his girlfriend of about 6 months are pregnant!!!  He is turning 26 years old today.  I come from a big family and even though I am the second youngest, I am the only one married.  I have been assuming all these years that I will be for sure the first one to have a kid and that I will be able to break the news to my parents that they will FINALLY become grandparents!  Last night that all changed.  We are a very Christian family and just the fact that my brother is living with his girlfriend is scandalous, now they are pregnant!  I don’t have ANYTHING against people living together before marriage or babies before marriage but it is extremely shocking to hear this from him.  Not only is he 26, but she is 35!  Here I am, married for 6 years, 28 years old, planned everything just right and did everything the “right” way and we still don’t have a kid.  My brother, does everything unconventionally, is still in college, is struggling so much financially and they get a baby.  I saw it coming but to hear the news last night really was the biggest slap in the face so far.  Really, everyone is pregnant but me. Haha.  Sorry again for the rant.  But as you ladies said, a good vent is needed sometimes.  Thanks for reading.  


28 years old, married 6 years to a 27 year old geek.gif man, with cat.gifcat.gifdog2.gif and we have been TTCing seven cycles since Jan. 2012.  Samuel 1:19 "...and the LORD remembered her."

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#6 of 8 Old 08-21-2012, 08:21 PM
 
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Quote:

Originally Posted by firsttimettc View Post

 

I know my 8-9 months isn’t long at all but it seems like so much longer since I was ready for kids 3 years ago.  Best of luck with your pregnancy!

 

Update on myself…..you would not believe this, I’m not even sure if I believe it yet.  Just a few hours after I wrote this post, I get an e-mail from my younger brother telling me that he and his girlfriend of about 6 months are pregnant!!!  He is turning 26 years old today.  I come from a big family and even though I am the second youngest, I am the only one married.  I have been assuming all these years that I will be for sure the first one to have a kid and that I will be able to break the news to my parents that they will FINALLY become grandparents!  Last night that all changed.  We are a very Christian family and just the fact that my brother is living with his girlfriend is scandalous, now they are pregnant!  I don’t have ANYTHING against people living together before marriage or babies before marriage but it is extremely shocking to hear this from him.  Not only is he 26, but she is 35!  Here I am, married for 6 years, 28 years old, planned everything just right and did everything the “right” way and we still don’t have a kid.  My brother, does everything unconventionally, is still in college, is struggling so much financially and they get a baby.  I saw it coming but to hear the news last night really was the biggest slap in the face so far.  Really, everyone is pregnant but me. Haha.  Sorry again for the rant.  But as you ladies said, a good vent is needed sometimes.  Thanks for reading.  

I feel exactly the same way when you say it feels like so much longer. DH and I started having the kids conversation 6 years ago and I always wanted my first before 30, well I'm 33 now...

So tough to hear that your brother has basically stolen your thunder. You think you're doing the right thing, following the plan, and then... BOOM, it hits you. I hope you're coping. I know I would be pretty devastated in that situation. hug2.gif

Please vent and rant away, we all need a little moral support from time to time.


Now that I am a mom I no longer have time for knit.gif,teapot2.GIF,read.gif
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#7 of 8 Old 08-22-2012, 03:18 AM
 
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firsttimettc, I know all about the "wanting to be the first grandchild producer" in the family.  My younger sister, who has been trying for 7 years and gone through Artificial Insemination, finally got pregnant this month.  I couldn't be happier for her, but I still wish I was pregnant too.  I feel like "I have done everything right, waited until I got married to have sex, waited a year of married life before TTC, bought a house, got finances in order, etc" yet here I am over 2 years married and no baby.  I am a high school teacher and watching unmarried former students wind up pregnant is just annoying.  I sometimes ask "Why Lord?  Why not me?  Why her, now?"

 

My DH and I are dealing with an extremely low sperm count - 25 sperm when there should be 40 million.  If your DH hasn't had a sperm assay done, encourage him to do it.  TTC takes both partners bodies to be doing the right thing at the right time.  It isn't that "it just takes one" mantra that our sex ed teachers from high school might have said.  The biochemistry behind conception is crazy. The more I learn, the more I think just how miraculous it is that anyone gets pregnant.


Crafty Geeky lady (37, hypothyroid) married 7/2010 love of my life (42, azoospermia). I believe in MIRACLES! Twin boys born 12/21/13 at 40 weeks 2 days! 3/52 crafts in 2014 Ramsey's BS1: Done! 2/17/12 BS 2 goal: 6/7/17 no sperm initial DX 3/23/12 BFP 4/7/13!
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#8 of 8 Old 08-23-2012, 11:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you dakipode and lilacvioletiris!  I think I'm over the initial shock of my brother's announcement.  Also, he told us sisters through an e-mail, not a phone a call, and the subject was "big news", I thought maybe he got a new job (he's had a lot of big news this year including meeting Prince Charles!), I didn't think it would be that.  I still need to reply and congratulate him, but I also want to tell him my feelings.  Ughh.  I sometimes wish I didn't follow the plan and do all the right things, I wish I did get pregnant at a young age sometimes, like all my other friends!  UGHHH!!!  Lilacvioletiris, you're so right, the miracle of birth is a term that means so much more to me now.  It really does take a miracle but I'm seeing that youth really does help speed up that miracle.  If we still can't conceive in the next few months, I'll definitely see that my DH gets checked.  I kind of think it maybe has something to do with me as well since I spot days before and after my period, making it seem like its almost 2 weeks!  My gyno didn't seem worried about it months ago, but I'm thinking of going back to make sure.  I know I'm ovulating though, so I have no idea whats up (except of course for missing two cycles this year, haha).  thanks again ladies!  


28 years old, married 6 years to a 27 year old geek.gif man, with cat.gifcat.gifdog2.gif and we have been TTCing seven cycles since Jan. 2012.  Samuel 1:19 "...and the LORD remembered her."

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