A Saner TTC: Harvest Moon - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 164 Old 10-06-2012, 08:18 AM
 
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PokeyAC, that is so interesting about the Lunception!  I have never heard of it but it sounds kinda cool.

 

Virgocanwait, welcome!  So sorry for the chemical pregnancy.  That's hard.  Sending you some baby dust!

 

Devilish, so sorry it is so hard right now!  Is there anyway you can get a new doctor?  I have a friend who has been struggling with fertility issues for her #2 as well and it has been so infuriating how no one will listen.  She FINALLY found someone who is awesome but it's taken so long.  Hugs to you!

 

JustJenny, I agree with others that DHs just don't get it as much.  I am also in an urgent place becasue I'm turning 40 in about a week and DH is 44 and our DS is already 5 and I want a sib for him.  DH keeps telling me to relax but I can't to some degree.  I mean I AM trying (hence being on this thread) but it's hard.  And really the TTC IS all on us since we know best when the best time is (either based on pre-O signs or OPKs or whatever).  Oh it's hard.

 

Dakipode, glad you are keeping busy.  hug2.gif

 

Xerxella, sending you some zen vibes for your wait. hug2.gif

 

AFM:  AF finally arrived!  Woo!  I am relieved.  And, I guess, gearing up for this next cycle. How is it that the TWW feels like it takes a year to go by but already I have to be planning BDing for next week and THEN will be in another TWW in what feels like 5 seconds?


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#122 of 164 Old 10-06-2012, 12:59 PM
 
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dakipode and beingmommy: Because I got referred to this doctor by my family doctor, I don't know how much flexibility I have. I've read up on him and he's great .... for IVF treatment, which I shouldn't need and can't afford and isn't covered by OHIP (unless both tubes are blocked, which is not the case for me).

dakipode: Haven't tried K-dramas. Might have to look into that. Any series you recommend?

beingmommy: New cycle, new hope! You will get there!


AFM I called the office later and spoke to his secretary and ask that I be put on Clomid for next cycle. She'll call me back on Tuesday to let me know. (Monday's a holiday.) I felt better after that. It's unfortunately too late in this cycle to start it. I'm really hoping not to have another 60 day cycle. So I'm waiting to O (if I even O).


Me (34) (PCOS), DH (36) and DD1 (3) and DD2(1). We are going to go for a third. Now, will we succeed?
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#123 of 164 Old 10-07-2012, 10:35 AM
 
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Hi all - great to see so many lovely ladies on here - I'm glad this thread has blossomed!

 

I have been pretty quiet on here lately, but I am just starting the last week of my 2WW and something shifts for me during this time. It's so predictable and I can notice such a difference in the hopefulness and zen-ness in the first 3/4 of my cycle and then during this time, I get more desperate and think there's something bigger wrong and I feel like this won't be the month. I start feeling like, we've been at this for more than two years and if in all this time of strategic (and also non-strategic) BD, if a sperm and egg can't meet and then attach to my lining - something bigger must be going on. The hard (and good) part is that I feel really healthy, my cycles are great - luteal phase is longer than ever, I have quality FF - there is nothing glaring. I just feel confused. In my head, I know that this is the last week of the 2WW screwing with me, but it's still hard to override hormones or whatever happens during this time. Doing my best to not fall in the downward spiral! 

 

It hasn't been helping that I have been having the most intense dreams too. I usually have more vivid dreams the second half of my cycle anyway, but these have been beyond intense and I wake up feeling shaken up. Every night I have something that is life or death or I am watching people around me die (or are ghosts) - and in one, my entire family drove off a cliff and I had to tell them I loved them before we plummeted to our death. Last night, I dreamt that a friend of mine who wants her son to be an only child, accidentally got pregnant and I felt so off about the whole thing - jealous, mad, etc. I also remember a part of the dream where someone handed a little baby to a dad and was like, "Here's your little girl!" and I just had this pit of nausea. So, clearly there are some feelings going on inside of me even if I can keep balanced for most of my cycle.

 

Thanks for listening :) Baby dust to all of you!

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#124 of 164 Old 10-07-2012, 01:17 PM
 
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Welcome to all the new ladies and Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Canucks!

@Devilish: we live in the same city smile.gif

@Xerxella: I am trying to get back to a healthier weight too. I kept putting it off cause I thought we were going to try again right away too. Now that that has been pushed back to next summer, I kinda don't have any more excuses! So, goal #1 is to stop eating chips every night after I put the kids to bed and goal #2 is to start doing my Jilian Micheals DVD which I bought TWO years ago and have still not taken the plastic off!!!! Shame on me!!!

Happy weekend to everyone!

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#125 of 164 Old 10-07-2012, 01:20 PM
 
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I meant to add that I'm thrilled that AF made an appearance yesterday because this cycle was only 28 days rather than the 34 days that was last cycle! Hopefully that means my body is normalizing on its own and I won't need to do anything in the way of herbs and meds to regulate it.

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#126 of 164 Old 10-07-2012, 01:35 PM
 
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@Lidamama84 City Buddies! Oh, I hope your body does what it's supposed so you won't have to wait long to get your BFP come the summer.


Me (34) (PCOS), DH (36) and DD1 (3) and DD2(1). We are going to go for a third. Now, will we succeed?
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#127 of 164 Old 10-07-2012, 07:28 PM
 
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Lidamama - No shame on you!  There's no point in that now.  You have some goals and that's awesome!  Maybe you can find a healthier crunchy snack  Everyone seems to be eating kale chips these days.  They have them at stores, but I'm sure they are cheaper to make yourself.  I had that debate with myself about losing weight too and it never happened.  You can't really TTC and lose weight at the same time.  It's good you have some time to work on it and get yourself feeling healthier.  You have a good reason to do it.  I hope your body is getting back to normal on its own. That would be great.

 

happy2bmama - It's good to see you back.  I hope the next week passes without too much anxiety.  This is a tough time in the wait, and those dreams sound really intense.  I'm sorry you are not sleeping peacefully.  It's so easy to question ourselves and every little thing that happens, and that can be pretty crazy-making.  Maybe a meditation in the evening would help.  Have you tried Rescue Remedy?  It's for balancing emotions.  I had mine out while waiting to O because that time is so stressful for me.  I hope you get some relief and rest.

 

devilish - I hope the doctor and the Clomid are helpful.  Going through those long cycles and not O'ing must be really frustrating.  Good for you for calling and advocating for yourself!  I hope this next cycle is fruitful.

 

beingmommy - I'm glad you are looking forward to your new cycle.  It's a fresh start.  I hope all the waiting and scheduling work out well.  It is crazy how quickly waiting to O comes up on you when the TWW moves so slowly.  I think the TWW goes by more slowly because there's less for you to do.  All you can do is wait.

 

virgo - Welcome!  I'm sorry for your loss.  

 

xerxella - I hope you get some good news in a few days!  Hang in there.

 

dakipode and GISDiva- wave.gif

 

JustJenny - I'm glad your DH is getting on board with looking into things.  Congratulations on your longer LP!  You did some great work!

 

AFM - Well, I tested this morning, and it was positive!  I was shocked and relieved.  I was so scared it would be negative.  We are keeping the celebrating low key for now.  I will feel better when I get the second beta and see that it is doubling because the last time I got pregnant, it did not.  I stayed fairly zen through most of the TWW.  Thursday I felt crappy and thought it was because I was pregnant, but I felt better the next day.  Also that day, someone at work asked me if I had a bun in the oven.  I laughed because I thought it was funny.  I didn't know yet.  She said she thought she had overheard me talking about it with someone.  I don't know what it was about, but maybe she's a little psychic.  So for now, I am onto another kind of waiting and trying to keep my cool while I go about my life.  It means so much to me to have all of you here supporting my zen.  I am grateful for you.     




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#128 of 164 Old 10-07-2012, 07:52 PM
 
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PokeyAC.... Come on down!!! ..... (per the previous price is right comment) congrats mama. H&H9m

The k-drama sounds interesting and to combine it with the suggestion to listen to happy music when stressed out: I love the gangnam style song! I cannot listen to it without my mood improving and a smile hitting my face (even better when my DH does the horse riding dance when it is on).

AFM: about d6po here. I was convinced I had major preg symptoms yesterday, almost had myself convinced that af was just breakthrough bleeding last month. But this morning woke up with full blown flu, accounting for all of yesterday's nausea and fatigue. Ahhhh wellll..

* evidence based crunch *

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#129 of 164 Old 10-07-2012, 08:05 PM
 
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Short on time so more persies later but pokeyAC, congrats!!! joy.gif  Holding the space for more zen and a sticky little bean for you!


Wife to DHguitar.gif, Mama to DS1 luxlove.gifribbonjigsaw.gif (06/2007) and DS2 baby.gif (06/2013), missing babies (mc 08/2006 @ 5 weeks) and (missed mc 06/2012 @ 11 weeks)

 

 

 

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#130 of 164 Old 10-07-2012, 08:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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PokeyAC: yahoo! How exciting for you! I wish you all the best, definitely keep us posted! I was feeling pretty lousy before checking in here but your news put a smile on my face!

 

AFM: CD2, feels like "Back to Start, Do not pass Go, Do not collect $200"... Calling clinic tomorrow for Clomid. This will be my first cycle on it. More personals later, I'm calling it an early night.


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#131 of 164 Old 10-08-2012, 01:23 AM
 
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pokeyac - joy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gif YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, (since I'm a dork about these things) what was your first beta? And how many dpo were you when it was taken? I'm fascinated by beta numbers.

dakipode and devilish - Good luck with the clomid. Obviously, it works for most people. I hope you guys are 2 of them!

lidamama - Yeah for a 28 day cycle!!!! That's awesome. I had been not bothering to get my weight under control, because why bother, I'd be pregnant again real soon, right? And, then I'd lose the weight after the baby was born, right? HA! That didn't work for me! So, now I'm just trying to lose it and I'll let life come at me however it does. So, I signed up for Weight Watchers. It seems like a reasonable plan, but once you learn it you actually don't need them anymore. orngtongue.gif So, after the 12 weeks, I'll cancel it, but keep doing the plan.

bearandotter - Don't you just hate that? It's amazing how we can trick ourselves. Sorry you have the flu. I hope you feel better soon.

beingmommy - I'm glad af finally arrived. It is quite a relief. Good luck with this new cycle.

AFM - I only have the cheapie HPTs (Dollar Store) and I "think" it was negative. There was a shadow, but I don't think it was real. That's one thing I really don't like about the cheapie ones. You just can't trust them as early tests. I suppose the only answer is to wait until my period is late..... sigh....

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#132 of 164 Old 10-08-2012, 06:47 AM
 
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OMG Pokey, that's wonderful news!!!  You'be been such a calm voice here, I'm so thrilled for you.  I wish you stickiness!  (That sounds...well, whatever...*haha*)

 

Hi to those joining us, good luck to you.  CD 14 for me...here we go again.  whistling.gif


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#133 of 164 Old 10-08-2012, 07:55 AM
 
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POKEY!! Yay!! You made it to contestant row!! It's so inspiring seeing people get their BFP - wishing you the best :)

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#134 of 164 Old 10-08-2012, 08:58 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pokeyAC View Post

revolting - I believe the process of synching your cycle up with the lunar cycles is call Lunaception.  It involves keeping your bedroom completely dark for certain days and letting in some light on other days.  I saw a website where you could buy some new product that helps you do it.  I don't remember what it was called, but I think it was a kind of light you put next to your bed and it keeps the schedule for you.  I heard a midwife speak about it once, so it seems like it could work.

 

I've been reading about it (thanks for  the term!) and I'm sold. Sort of going to try now, and try more seriously after we move.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by virgocantwait View Post

Hello all!  May I join in?  DH and I have been trying since July.  We caught pregnant last month but it was only chemical. (boo)  Back on that horse!  It's funny.  Before last month we were both in the "not not trying" place ... but now I'm in the "oh hell yes we are trying!" place. orngbiggrin.gif

 

dust.gif to everyone!!!

 

 

VCW

Currently mommy to 2 adorable fur babies smile.gifcat.gif

 

Welcome.gif So sorry about your loss. How are you doing? Good luck for this cycle!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by devilish View Post

I would like to join as well, please.

 

TTC#2 for a year. After 10 months we got referred to a local fertility clinic. I probably have PCOS, but haven't yet confirmed, hoping to clomid next cycle and hoping this isn't another 60 day cycle. Our biggest obstacle seems to be the fact that I'm not ovulating.

 

I've met with the fertility doctor twice and both times I've come away feeling angry, depressed and disappointed. He's doing this whole wait and see approach which I find infuriating and upsetting (I'm in tears just thinking about it).

 

I wish good luck to all the ladies on their TTC journeys.

 

tiphat.gif Welcome. I hope the fertility doctors and clomid help. Is there any way you could change docs?

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by beingmommy View Post

 

AFM:  AF finally arrived!  Woo!  I am relieved.  And, I guess, gearing up for this next cycle. How is it that the TWW feels like it takes a year to go by but already I have to be planning BDing for next week and THEN will be in another TWW in what feels like 5 seconds?

 

You sound so relieved. I'm glad you're anticipating this cycle. Best of luck!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by happy2bamama View Post

Hi all - great to see so many lovely ladies on here - I'm glad this thread has blossomed!

 

I have been pretty quiet on here lately, but I am just starting the last week of my 2WW and something shifts for me during this time. It's so predictable and I can notice such a difference in the hopefulness and zen-ness in the first 3/4 of my cycle and then during this time, I get more desperate and think there's something bigger wrong and I feel like this won't be the month. I start feeling like, we've been at this for more than two years and if in all this time of strategic (and also non-strategic) BD, if a sperm and egg can't meet and then attach to my lining - something bigger must be going on. The hard (and good) part is that I feel really healthy, my cycles are great - luteal phase is longer than ever, I have quality FF - there is nothing glaring. I just feel confused. In my head, I know that this is the last week of the 2WW screwing with me, but it's still hard to override hormones or whatever happens during this time. Doing my best to not fall in the downward spiral! 

 

It hasn't been helping that I have been having the most intense dreams too. I usually have more vivid dreams the second half of my cycle anyway, but these have been beyond intense and I wake up feeling shaken up. Every night I have something that is life or death or I am watching people around me die (or are ghosts) - and in one, my entire family drove off a cliff and I had to tell them I loved them before we plummeted to our death. Last night, I dreamt that a friend of mine who wants her son to be an only child, accidentally got pregnant and I felt so off about the whole thing - jealous, mad, etc. I also remember a part of the dream where someone handed a little baby to a dad and was like, "Here's your little girl!" and I just had this pit of nausea. So, clearly there are some feelings going on inside of me even if I can keep balanced for most of my cycle.

 

Thanks for listening :) Baby dust to all of you!

 

I've had pretty epic anxiety dreams like that, too. If you find anything that works, LMK!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lidamama84 View Post

I meant to add that I'm thrilled that AF made an appearance yesterday because this cycle was only 28 days rather than the 34 days that was last cycle! Hopefully that means my body is normalizing on its own and I won't need to do anything in the way of herbs and meds to regulate it.

 

That's wonderful that your cycle is normalizing on its own. Woo hoo!

 

Quote:


AFM - Well, I tested this morning, and it was positive!  I was shocked and relieved.  I was so scared it would be negative.  We are keeping the celebrating low key for now.  I will feel better when I get the second beta and see that it is doubling because the last time I got pregnant, it did not.  I stayed fairly zen through most of the TWW.  Thursday I felt crappy and thought it was because I was pregnant, but I felt better the next day.  Also that day, someone at work asked me if I had a bun in the oven.  I laughed because I thought it was funny.  I didn't know yet.  She said she thought she had overheard me talking about it with someone.  I don't know what it was about, but maybe she's a little psychic.  So for now, I am onto another kind of waiting and trying to keep my cool while I go about my life.  It means so much to me to have all of you here supporting my zen.  I am grateful for you.     

 

jumpers.gifjumpers.gifjumpers.gif

So excited for you, mama! Congrats!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by dakipode View Post

 

AFM: CD2, feels like "Back to Start, Do not pass Go, Do not collect $200"... Calling clinic tomorrow for Clomid. This will be my first cycle on it. More personals later, I'm calling it an early night.

 

Best of luck. I hope the Clomid helps!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Xerxella View Post


AFM - I only have the cheapie HPTs (Dollar Store) and I "think" it was negative. There was a shadow, but I don't think it was real. That's one thing I really don't like about the cheapie ones. You just can't trust them as early tests. I suppose the only answer is to wait until my period is late..... sigh....

 

Oh, I hate the cheapie tests. It's so worth it to me to spend the extra money than use a cheapie one that makes me feel even crazier second guessing myself.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by GISDiva View Post

Hi to those joining us, good luck to you.  CD 14 for me...here we go again.  whistling.gif

 

Lots and lots of baby dust!

 

AFM: 5 dpo... We bought a house recently that needs a lot of work, and while of course I avoided the worst of the chemicals, I spent the whole time worrying that I was pregnant and hurting the baby. On the fence testing this fri (10 dpo) with a digital clear blue test, but it was part of a box of half a dozen and I  lost the instructions, and I can no longer find the instructions to find out how accurate it would be at that dpo. Anyway... good luck to all you mamas!


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#135 of 164 Old 10-08-2012, 09:11 AM
 
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I hope I win a new car!  Seriously.  Thank you everyone for your well wishes.  While I look forward to moving on, I will miss hanging out with all of you.  I will keep you posted.

Keep it zen.  om.gifRainbow.gifnamaste.gif and goodvibes.gifdust.gif to all.

 

 

dakipode - I'm sorry you have to start another new cycle, but I hope the Clomid makes a difference and that you feel good about taking the next step.




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#136 of 164 Old 10-08-2012, 09:48 AM
 
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CONGRATS POKEY!!!!!!   So happy for you!  I wish you all the best with your pregnancy and birth  joy.gif


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#137 of 164 Old 10-08-2012, 11:43 AM
 
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xerxella -My first beta at 13DPO is 62.  According to a chart I found, that is the median number.  Sounds good to me.  Next one on Wednesday.




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#138 of 164 Old 10-08-2012, 01:31 PM
 
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CONGRATULATIONS POKEY!!!!!  energy.gif

 

That is fantastic news! 

 

revolting: I am up and down.  Mostly down.  I want to stay in the place where getting pregnant was a blessing and m/c is normal.  I want to still be happy when I see babies on the bus.  But the feeling of loss is what wins most times.  I was reading signs for 3 days but I still feel transformed by the joy I felt in those days.  I guess that's the best thing I can hold onto right now: I was transformed.  I feel like a different person even after those 3 days.  shy.gif

 

I also feel far from DH because I didn't tell him my suspicions until THE DAY I m/c'd.  So he has his own experience of that week and we're kinda stuck on how to process it together.  guilty.gif  So, this is definitely something we're taking to therapy.

 

I'm so happy to be here, though.  The community here is very inspiring and welcoming.  Pokey's news gave me the first good smile of the day!

 

grouphug.gif

VCW


Married love.gif, 36 yo Peace.gif, momma to 2 fur babies cat.gifcat.gif, and truly TTC for the first time!

angel1.gif one angel bean 10/4/12

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#139 of 164 Old 10-08-2012, 03:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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On the topic of weight loss (and gain), Xerxella and Lidamama: isn't it silly how much we put our lives on hold because we're anticipating something else? I'm on the other end of the spectrum: was not exercising as much because I thought I could stand to gain a few pounds but it drove me crazy. Now my jeans are too tight and I'm still not pregnant! irked.gif As always it's a juggling act, finding what's healthy and sane.

 

On the topic of K-dramas, Xerxella, devilish, and bearandotter: there are a bunch available on Netflix as well as Hulu. They tend to be similar (poor girl, rich guy, etc.) but they're entertaining. Most of them only go for 16-22 episodes, usually an hour long.

For high school dramas I liked Boys Before Flowers (though it got a bit repetitive towards the end, mostly entertaining because of the handsome boys...) and Playfull Kiss (one of the boys from BBF and cute story).

Featuring "older" actors (i.e. in their twenties and thirties) I liked Secret Garden (weird premise done very well, beautiful architecture!), City Hunter (one of the boys from BBF in a great action series!), and Lie To Me (actually a nice, realistic male protagonist, no dragon lady mom, sweet romance).

There are so many more, I hear DramaFever is a good source but haven't looked into that. The one I'm watching currently (Flower Boys Ramen Shop) is very funny, some are more serious, some have over the top characters, all of them are subtitled and I enjoy learning the different sayings they have.

One more word of warning: most of them will have some instance where they make fun of bodily functions, I don't know why that is such a staple in Korean culture.

 

happy2bamama: I get crazy dreams too and I feel like they get even more vivid when I go to bed on a full stomach, could that have something to do with it?

 

GISDiva: good luck and have fun! wink1.gif

 

virgocantwait: I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I hope talking with DH will strengthen your bond.

 

AFM: feeling pretty good today. Had my pity party all weekend, including a good sobbing session with DH. Onto bigger and better things now! The scientist in me is excited to experience the effects of the medication, see if I feel different etc. so I'll try to stay in that curious mindset rather than the obsessive/emotional wreck I have been.


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#140 of 164 Old 10-09-2012, 07:05 AM
 
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wave.gif Hey all!!

Pokey - That sounds like a perfect number. This is one time when average is good! joy.gif

dakipode - hug.gif Sometimes a pity party is just what the doctor natural practioner ordered. hug2.gif

AFM - AF hit yesterday and surprised me by being a little early, but at least it didn't make me wait. So, on to my technical first cycle of trying!

Married to one of the last good guys left Jim
Mom to AJ 4/07 and Genevieve 5/09

And then: I'm really, really tired of making angels.

But wait, could it really be true?


The whole story at: www.xerxella.blogspot.com
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#141 of 164 Old 10-09-2012, 08:18 AM
 
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dakipode - hugs to you hug2.gifSometimes a pity party is just what the doctor ordered. Seriously, trying to be zen has its own set of side effects and I feel like having the pity party or breakdown dissipates the "keep it together" mentality (in a healthy way).

 

I wanted to ask you about Clomid - I can't remember if you went into specifics here about it (and I'm sorry if you did and I don't remember) - do you know that you have something going on that Clomid would be of a help for or are you going to try it in hopes that it just helps overall? I ask because the end of this year is the time when DH and I said we would reconsider the medical route and I think Clomid could be a good first thing to try. Just wondering what led you to your decision and wanting to see if it might be a fit for me too. I guess I was always under the impression that it helped for those that don't ovulate or have really long cycles, but it also seems like it just sort of helps anything too.

 

And, I really love how you talked about the scientist in you being curious about what Clomid will feel like - that is such a great attitude. There are so many ways to look at something that you maybe didn't want to have to do and being curious about it in that way is such a cool way to see it and experience it. If I end up doing Clomid, I may steal your outlook as well :)

 

AFM: I am in the second week of the 2WW, but somehow, I have not let myself look at what day I'm on. I could be day 21 or day 27 for all I know. I know that if AF's coming, she should be here by the end of the weekend (at least). It's kind of fun not knowing the exact day, but it is work to not allow my left brain to figure it out - I actually have to tell it no and move on to something else when it starts going, "Well let's see the first day of your last cycle..." Nooooo! I'm hoping that not knowing will make those last few days more bearable because maybe I won't know that I'm so near them. Ha! The things we do to try to make the 2WW less painful!!

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#142 of 164 Old 10-10-2012, 11:16 AM
 
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dakipode - hugs to you hug2.gifSometimes a pity party is just what the doctor ordered. 

 

You said it.  A friend of mine just posted something the other day, "I'm planning a pity party.  It's harder than you think."  Sometimes we just need to embrace those feelings and experience them before we can let them go again.  If you stuff them down, they just resurface.

 

Says someone who doesn't take her own advice. ROTFLMAO.gif

 

I am surprisingly calm at the beginning of this TWW.  I don't know why, perhaps because I'm too busy with other things.  We'll see if I feel the same in about 8 days or so.

 

Have a great day everyone...


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#143 of 164 Old 10-10-2012, 06:17 PM
 
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Hi all! 

It is so nice to read what others are experiencing.  I am only 6 DPO but I have short luteal phases, and I'll either begin bleeding on the 14th (4 days!) or not.  I'm wondering if I am really feeling the physical things I think I'm feeling.  Cramping, lots of thirst, hungry.  If they mean anything, or if I'm just noticing them now that I'm paying extra close attention.  Either way, a super awesome learning experience for tuning in to my body.  I have the feeling that I am pregnant, although I wouldn't be terribly surprised if I turn out not to be.  I'm going to a hip mama swap on sunday and by then I'll know if I am or not.  Either way, I'm going to start collecting newborn and baby clothes since I feel certain it will be soon if not right now!  I also wrote a blog post this week about my experience as a first time two week waiter and as a student midwife.  Once it is finished and posted I'll let you all know so you can check it out :)  It is about reimagining the two week wait as a time to be honored, where we are between worlds and where there is so much possibility in any direction.  My two weeks also take place as the moon is waning, and I naturally want to turn inwards and reflect, so it is nice to feel this sense of possibility even as everything is growing darker.


 

 

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#144 of 164 Old 10-10-2012, 08:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Xerxella: good luck to you on this next cycle!

 

happy2bamama: I don't think I could not know what CD I'm on. In a way knowing helps keep me sane because I know not to test before a certain day and so far I haven't had to. When I first read TCOYF so many things started making sense to me and I wish I had read it earlier in my life. In this case ignorance was not bliss.

Good for you for catching yourself when you start calculating. I find it ironic that being zen requires constant vigilance!

 

GISDiva: The first week always seems easier than the second week to me. I think acknowledging your feelings is a healthy way to let go. And I will admit that sitting on the couch watching tv, munching and feeling sorry for myself is fun, but only in retrospect.

Peace be with you as you move into the second week!

 

Margo: One of my favorite sayings is "Don't believe everything you think" and it certainly applies for me during 2WW. There's a blurry line between paying attention to your body and obsessing over every little twinge, staying zen/staying sane is about finding the former without the latter (sorry if that is bad grammar, I know some of you must be editors or grammar nazis or both...)

I love the bit about being between worlds in a place where there is so much possibility, that is so poetic! I don't know if you were following this thread a couple of months ago when someone remarked that 2WW could also be called Schrodinger's Pregnancy.smile.gif

 

AFM: I'm on a possibility high, meaning I'm totally excited about starting my Clomid today. I usually feel sort of condescending towards people who think all they need to do is take a magic pill and all their troubles will go away but that is exactly how I feel right now. Maybe too much of an upswing after the gloomy weekend?

 

How's everyone else? Waiting, waiting, waiting? Staying busy, staying sane?


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#145 of 164 Old 10-11-2012, 06:06 AM
 
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"Don't believe everything you think"

I love that saying. I'm trying to talk myself out of testing on Saturday. I'm 8 dpo.


Partner to Rbikenew.gif ('03); Parent to T read.gif('07), Aviolin.gif ('10), and E ecbaby2.gif ('13)

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#146 of 164 Old 10-11-2012, 07:35 AM
 
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Schrodinger's Pregnancy.smile.gif

 

spitdrink.gif

 

That's awesome.


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#147 of 164 Old 10-11-2012, 10:57 AM
 
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Love Schrodinger's pregnancy... too funny.

 

dakipode: come on clomid baby... IMHO there is a major difference between people who take pills to take all their troubles away and those who take pills to *hopefully* solve a specific ailment/challenge. But do let us know if it solves all your problems (do you think it would help with my frizzy hair? ;) )....

 

AFM: I'm something PO. Should know next week. Haven't looked at a calendar all month... BUT yesterday I ordered OPKs online, something I said I would never do. But I am approaching it as an experiment, to see if I am ovulating (several months post mirena removal and consistent spotting around day 21-22 every month). I am going to use them for one month only (assuming I need them), but I need you ladies to hold me to it....
 


* evidence based crunch *

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#148 of 164 Old 10-11-2012, 12:01 PM
 
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happy2bamama: I don't think I could not know what CD I'm on. In a way knowing helps keep me sane because I know not to test before a certain day and so far I haven't had to. When I first read TCOYF so many things started making sense to me and I wish I had read it earlier in my life. In this case ignorance was not bliss.

Good for you for catching yourself when you start calculating. I find it ironic that being zen requires constant vigilance!

 

I finally gave in yesterday and counted and to my surprise, I was way earlier in my cycle than I thought. So much for that! 

 

This morning I sort of fell apart a bit. I have been having all sorts of things going on this last week that all point to being pregnant. Even though I tend to be cautious and don't read anything into what I'm feeling, this past week has felt different for a variety of reasons. What made me fall apart is that I noticed some pink watery and brown stringy stuff when I wiped this morning. Not enough to wear a pad, but just when I wiped. So, I feel like AF is surely on her way (CD 25, btw, and I have a 28-day cycle). It always starts like this. Part of me thinks, "No, it could still be it - you could just be having spotting - or maybe this is implantation spotting - you're not bleeding yet and you're still feeling all those symptoms!" but the other part of me is like, "Don't kid yourself, move on." That is the hardest thing for me, I think - that going back and forth between the optimistic part of my head and the cautious one. During the last few days of the TWW, they are constantly bickering. And I want the optimistic one to be right, but she hasn't been, yet. I called and made a formal appointment to see a fertility specialist about our next steps in a few weeks from now. I'm wanting to see if trying Clomid might help and perhaps after that an IUI. I find it quite interesting how when we were TTC our DS (took 1.5 years), I was avidly against any fertility help. I had all sorts of agreements about what that meant. We were lucky to have it work out for us. But this time, I feel like all my beliefs are being tested and re-evaluated. I know it's a good thing - to reshape beliefs and throw out what doesn't serve me and boy, have I let so many of my judgements go since becoming a mom! I'm finding myself actively pursuing these fertility things that the old me wouldn't have allowed. I think I like the new me better - she's a lot easier to live with :)  It looks like quite a few of us on this thread are re-evaluating our beliefs! Bearanddotter - I too said I would never do OPKs - "How can a stupid stick know my body better than I know it?" And guess what, I ovulate later than I thought. Stick: 1, Me: 0.

 

I would love to hear any thoughts about Clomid or experiences - just starting my research into that. Hope everyone else is holding it together or enjoying a pity party!

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#149 of 164 Old 10-11-2012, 05:53 PM
 
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Whew, I've been MIA for a few days and this thread has been so busy. Yay!

 

PokeyAC, congrats again! 

 

Devilish, have you heard back yet about whether they'll put you on clomid for your next cycle?

 

Lidamama, yay for the more normal length cycle!  I hope it continues to do so.

 

Virgocanwaithug2.gif

 

Dakipode, sorry you felt sad over the weekend but glad you are feeling positive with your new plan and clomid. I LOVE "Don't believe everything you think."  That is so awesome. It is now my new saying.  And Schrodinger's Pregnancy is hilarious!

 

Xerxella, glad AF did not make you wait if it had to come. And yay for a new cycle!  

 

Revolting, oh the testing window!  Sending you some peaceful waiting vibes.  

 

GISDiva, glad you are feeling calm so far.  Sending you more peaceful waiting vibes too.

 

Happy2bamama, oh I so hear you on the craziness as the TWW gets towards the end.  Sending you good thoughts for sanity.  I have no experience with clomid but I think your new feelings on using fertility help are great!  Get help where you need it, especially if it helps ease any stress.

 

Bearandotter, I am toying with using OPKs this next cycle.  I have never used them before and use to have super clear O signs.  But the last two months I haven't and I am really starting to stress a bit about it. I may give it one more cycle or I may try them.   My only concern is they will make me more crazy as they seem sort of annoying to use.  But maybe not once I get the hang of them? Sending you peaceful thoughts for your wait too.

 

MargoNelson, fingers crossed for you!  I like the reframing of the TWW you mentioned of a place between worlds of possibility.  Now if I could just relax into that too.

 

If I have missed anyone so sorry and baby dust!

 

AFM: Well heading into my O range time.   I guess.  If I O this month.  I had a Maya Abdominal Massage yesterday and a little acupuncture.  It was nice.  And the woman who did it thought my recent sudden lack of Oing was related to some fear in me.  Fear of another miscarriage maybe, she thought?  Certainly.  And I also realized I am afraid of being so sick again with morning sickness.  I was wretchedly ill last spring when I was pregnant, 24/7 right through the 11 week ultrasound (despite the fact that the baby had passed away at 7 weeks).  I was a terrible mom to my DS during that last month because I was so very ill.  I am also afraid of parenting a newborn and my DS with his special needs.  So I realized I have a lot of fear I have not been honoring and maybe that is preventing me from Oing.  I am trying now to face it and hoping it releases a little.  We'll see.  My other challenge is to not feel frustrated that DH is not very good at frequent BDing. I did get irritated last month when I felt like we were missing chances because he couldn't get there.  I hate feeling like we have to pick the ONE perfect BD day because he might not manage it several days in a row or even every other day.  Ug.  Hope that's not TMI.  Just trying to relax about everything.


Wife to DHguitar.gif, Mama to DS1 luxlove.gifribbonjigsaw.gif (06/2007) and DS2 baby.gif (06/2013), missing babies (mc 08/2006 @ 5 weeks) and (missed mc 06/2012 @ 11 weeks)

 

 

 

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#150 of 164 Old 10-11-2012, 06:13 PM
 
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PokeyAC Congratulations, I wish you a long, boring, uneventful 9 months with a healthy baby at the end.

 

beingmommy Yes, we did. Got the call on Tuesday that we will be doing clomid on the next cycle. Which, of course, makes me impatient for the next cycle. We are currently waiting to "O" ( should I O). And I understand about DH being unable to BD as frequently as one would like for baby making. The best he can manage is twice within my fertile period (or twice a week). So we time as best we can. Once towards the beginning and once again as close as I can guess to the day prior to 'O' day. I want the sperm ready and waiting for the egg to show up. Do I wish we could DTD more often? Yes. But he's doing the best he can, so I work with him to maximize those days when I am fertile. Thankfully, my 'O' time seems to be waiting until he gets home from his business trip.


Me (34) (PCOS), DH (36) and DD1 (3) and DD2(1). We are going to go for a third. Now, will we succeed?
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