A Saner TTC: Harvest Moon - Page 6 - Mothering Forums

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#151 of 164 Old 10-11-2012, 09:05 PM
 
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xerxella - I know you were curious so here's an update.  I had my second beta today, more than 4 days past the last, and it went from 62 to 363.  That's almost 6 times what it was.  Crazy!  That seems above average to me but we shall see when I have the ultrasound.  

 

AFM - As I said above, my second beta was wonderful so I'm calling this one.  I might go visit the peaceful pregnancy thread and say hi there.  I will still visit here to celebrate your successes.  I thank you all for your wonderful support in helping me stay zen these last few months.  You are all wondeful woman, and I wish you all the best.  Keep the faith.




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#152 of 164 Old 10-11-2012, 09:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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bearandotter: funny you should mention it, I could've sworn it helped with my allergies yesterday ROTFLMAO.gif

 

happy2bamama: I totally hear you with the hope and disillusion. I go through the same thing every time the 2nd week rolls around. I'm glad that you are open to getting some help from western medicine. A close friend helped me decide when I was thinking about going for Clomid or if I should try to "fix it" myself. She, a biologist, said just get the medication because who knows how long it'll take to straighten things out and meanwhile your body is aging...

 

beingmommy: Regardless of whether the underlying fear is at the cause of your O delay I find that exploring fear is liberating. I wish you strength and courage!

 

devilish: yay for having a plan! And a backup plan, and a backup to the backup plan, etc. I think of all these plans as other possibilities and possibility always brings hope. I hope it does the trick for you!

 

AFM: I'm diligently taking my pills and waiting. It's a trap, waiting for the next (best) thing. I feel like I'm straining my eyes trying to look past the horizon and I've lost sight of what's around me.


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#153 of 164 Old 10-12-2012, 12:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just read "The Irrational Allure of the Next Big Thing", an article on Slate. It mentioned a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology about how people choose potential over actual accomplishment. They used the example of test subjects having to rate an artist who had won an award vs. an artist who was up and coming and might be considered for that same award, and they consistently thought more favorably of the up and comer. It mentions some more examples and concludes with how this applies to the current US Presidential election: we're comparing what Obama's accomplished in 4 years vs. what we think Romney could do in 4 years...

 

To quote directly: "...our reaction to incomplete information depends on our interpretation of the scant data we do have. Uncertainty is a sort of amplifier, intensifying our response whether it's positive or negative... As long as we react positively to the little information shown, we're actually attracted to uncertainty... The only way to adapt to uncertainty is to get closure. Because we can't actually find out what's going to happen...our mind closes the loop itself. If the only information at hand is positive, your mind is going to fill in the gaps with other positive details."

 

So there you have it, I'm not crazy.

 

A parting quote: "A whiff of positive information is all we need to set our minds aflutter."


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#154 of 164 Old 10-13-2012, 11:18 AM
 
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A parting quote: "A whiff of positive information is all we need to set our minds aflutter."

The perfect quote always shows up here when I need it. For two days in a row, coffee has made me queasy. That hasn't happened since I was pregnant with...excuse me, please make your selves busy while my mind is aflutter. Nothing to see here. Never mind that my throat is sore and the flu has been running rampant in these parts these last couple of weeks. eyesroll.gif

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend, even if it's rainy like mine!

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#155 of 164 Old 10-14-2012, 06:53 AM
 
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dakipode - that is so interesting!   our minds are so amazing.  No wonder it is so hard to stay relaxed through the waiting.  Our minds are automatically trying to use the little information we have to come up with whether we are pregnant or not (when we are thinking about it of course).  I talked to my mom on the phone yesterday and asked her about her early pregnancy symptoms and how she found out with me and my two siblings.  She said they didn't even have pregnancy tests when she had my two older brothers (I had no idea!) so she felt nauseous, then missed her period and just waited to see and went to the doctor a few months in.  Same when she was pregnant with me, except she went to the doctor for a test around 6 weeks instead of like, 20, haha.  I love the fact that I do have tools and options and knowledge about my cycle in a way that she obviously didn't, but part of me wishes that I was just blissfully ignorant.  If AF does come in the next day or two then I think that next cycle I'm going to chart til ovulation, and then stop because I've made myself way too crazy the last few weeks.

 

Speaking of which, day I am 10 DPO and I am due to get AF today (27 day cycle, short luteal phase).  I haven't felt any of the tell tale cramps I usually get, but I'm not getting my hopes up since I started bleeding in the afternoon last time.  My temp also didn't drop below my coverline like it usually does on day 10, so we'll see if it means anything soon.  I really feel like it could go either way at this point.  Like I said above, next cycle I'm not sure I can take the charting post-ovulation because it has really gotten me obsessed.  I guess that is the nice part about a short luteal phase - less waiting, and AF is the first big sign rather than a pregnancy test. 

I hope everyone else is doing well.  Is there another Saner TTC thread starting for the next month?  The new moon is tomorrow!!! How terribly exciting :)

 

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#156 of 164 Old 10-14-2012, 09:03 AM
 
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Sorry for being MIA. Works been super busy.

Pokey - congrats on great hcg numbers!!!! Good luck to you!

Dakipode - thanks for the article. That wiff of positive news will just have to keep me going for a little while.

AFM - nothing here, just waiting to O. Early next week sometime.

Married to one of the last good guys left Jim
Mom to AJ 4/07 and Genevieve 5/09

And then: I'm really, really tired of making angels.

But wait, could it really be true?


The whole story at: www.xerxella.blogspot.com
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#157 of 164 Old 10-14-2012, 09:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Margo: sounds like your mom was pretty zen about it. I wonder sometimes if all this information and technology is really helping us. As you mention, sometimes it can be the exact thing that drives us crazy. I like the idea of only charting till ovulation but I'm also one of those people who just likes to know. And thanks for reminding me about the new moon, I'll put up the new thread tomorrow!

 

Sounds like everyone is waiting to O. Good luck to all of us!

Anyone in 2WW? What are you doing to stay sane, or at least keep yourself distracted from symptom spotting?


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#158 of 164 Old 10-14-2012, 08:44 PM
 
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Anyone in 2WW? What are you doing to stay sane, or at least keep yourself distracted from symptom spotting?

Keeping busy, busy, busy, but only marginally distracted. (See above post.) Second half of two week wait starts tomorrow. My mantra this week is "I'll know when I know. " Not terribly deep, but it works. Lol...

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#159 of 164 Old 10-15-2012, 06:57 AM
 
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Hi Ladies! I hope everyone had a wonderful, zen weekend :)

 

PokeyAC: CONGRATS!!! I'm so happy for you!!! Wishing you a happy and peaceful nine months and an awesome, empowering delivery!

 

Re: the technology and zen-thing, I totally agree that in our "instant" culture it's really hard to be relaxed and just wait and see. Like, 100 years ago you would suspect you're pregnant, you'd keep going with your life, and approximately nine months later a baby would be born (not to romanticize; there were plenty of downsides to the old days too!!). Nowadays, we have all these tests and pregnancy-tracking websites, not to mention the endless round of stress from medical appointments (what if???) that it seems pregnancy drags on forever and its so hard to stay calm. So, all that to say that the TWW is one thing, but I found the 9month wait really hard too, especially with my first, and because my job is not very busy so lots of downtime to think and overanalyze and stress! I really think if I were a SAHM, I'd have so much going on all day I wouldn't be half as anxious!

 

An idea I'm totally stealing from the Scenic Route thread: Question of the Week! To help stay zen, let's have a question we ponder/answer each week :) Since I loved being in labour, here's this week's: What sort of labouring techniques are you thinking about? If this is your first baby you're TTC, have you given any thoughts as to the type of labour/delivery you'd like? If it's not your first, are there things you'd like to do differently/is there a birth scenario from one of your older kiddos you'd like to re-create?

 

AFM: My delivery with DD2 was pretty awesome. I did lots of practicing during my pregnancy doing spontaneous relaxation of various body parts, especially my face. I really love how Ina May Gaskin makes to correlation between relaxed, open mouth to relaxed, open cervix. During my labour with DD2 (which was induced) I kept repeating to myself "relax your face". At one point, when it came time to push, I got scared of what was to come, and that was the first time I felt pain. I felt my whole body tense up and I remember saying "ow, I can't do this anymore". But I knew it was too late for an epi, and I just mentally got myself back to that place of relaxation and openness and baby came sliding out in a couple of pushes. Totally awesome and empowering. I had a high for a few months after DD's birth. So, for the next baby I hope to have a similar experience, but I would be even happier if I didn't have to be induced (both DDs were inductions for suspected placental insufficiency).


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DD1 (03/09), DD2 (06/11), DS (01/14) love.gif

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#160 of 164 Old 10-15-2012, 07:52 AM
 
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I don't think I would change anything from my DS's birth.  I had the perfect combination of trusted midwife, calm surroundings, supportive people, and enough information from my awesome Bradley classes/teacher that I could really let my body do what it was meant to do and not over think anything.  I really enjoyed labor and didn't find the pain unmanageable at all.  My only hope for my second is that it wasn't a fluke.  lol.gif

 

Breastfeeding on the other hand, there were about 300 things I would have done differently...


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#161 of 164 Old 10-15-2012, 08:22 AM
 
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Feeling sad.  I got my hopes up (REAL high) yesterday when I didn't bleed since my cycles are super dependable and I was due to yesterday.  I never stopped feeling the ovulation pain which turned into the "too many situps feeling" which I found really hopeful.  I had told myself not to get too excited until I made it through the day yesterday without bleeding, so last night my partner and I started feeling excited and started switching gears towards thinking about what came next.  So when I woke up to bleeding I was pretty disappointed.   My temperature still didn't drop below the coverline like usual so I'm not sure what that is about - feeling like I want to throw the stupid thermometers away (I bought a new one this week because in my crazy haze I thought the old one wasn't working right).  I am excited though to try again next month, and I feel like this first time taught me a lot about myself, my fears, my readiness, and prepared me for a more low key and confident experience when it does happen.  See you all on the new thread since today is the new moon! 

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#162 of 164 Old 10-15-2012, 08:57 AM
 
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hug2.gifMargo...that sounds just like what happened to me last month.  Tons of "symptoms", but nothing to show for it except lessons learned. Which is something, for sure...


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#163 of 164 Old 10-15-2012, 01:48 PM
 
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Dakipoke: I'm nearing the end of my TWW, for better or worse.  A rough go with the flu (and kids with the flu) kept me somewhat preoccupied this month. Not something I'd recommend though :)

 

GISDiva: I love your mantra, but I suspect the little voice in my head would be yelling "but I wanna know NOW". Do you use it for meditation? My most commonly used mantra is the green tara mantra "om tare tuttare ture soha". I like both how it feels and its focus on liberation from suffering, which sadly my obsession with ttc sometimes feels to be. Also, I'm sure there was no fluke and your next labor will be lovely too (see my 2nd L&D below)

 

Lidamera: great question. My first L&D was an experience; in hospital augmented with pitocin for IUGR and then a few very very scary minutes when baby had horrible decelerations in her HR (stinker was born with cord in her fist up beside the widest part of her head). But my MW was with me, I labored in the tub, everyone was healthy, so all in all a positive delivery. 2nd was an unexpected HB - 2h labor, MW came to my house to see me and decide when we were going to hospital - I was 9cm and delivered into her hands 5 min later (My guess was that I was in early labor 3-4cm). It was great, but again a sense of panic. Baby was fine, it was lovely to stay home. I would really like to experience a birth where I wasn't gripped with panic and fear in the moments before my child arrived....

 

Margo: Hugs. sorry this month wasn't your month.

 

AFM: D27 today, and usually have a 27 day cycle. Currently on TP watch (sorry TMI). I have had some mild cramps for a few days, but no sign of AF yet. Not trying to get my hopes up. Might test tomorrow. Sadly, my underlying personality is somewhat fatalistic - I am seriously doubting if we will ever get pregnant. No reason to think this, just how I feel. DH is from Mars and doesn't know how to support me (then again, I don't know how to support me). I bought the OPKs last week and made an appt with my Dr for BW later this week - I hoped these two actions would magically result in a BFP... But we shall see.


* evidence based crunch *

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#164 of 164 Old 10-15-2012, 03:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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New thread is up: Hunter's Moon!

 

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1365778/a-saner-ttc-hunters-moon


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