A Saner TTC: Hunter's Moon - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 154 Old 10-18-2012, 07:22 PM
 
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Welcome.gifWelcome  Coffeebean!

 

 

Congrats to Revolting!  joy.gif

 

 

Pokey how are you feeling? :)


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#32 of 154 Old 10-18-2012, 09:30 PM
 
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Thanks for the warm welcome everyone!

 

Congratulations BearandOtter and Revolting!

 

BearandOtter, I hope your secret formula works for me. I have a doctor's appointment in 2 weeks.

 

Dakipode, Yes, I have spent a lot of time thinking about odds. It's true. It's like a roll of the dice every cycle.

 

AFM: As expected, AF showed up yesterday. I was really grumpy, but I'm feeling better now. I've decided to take the month off from charting. I need to stop obsessing over graphs.


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#33 of 154 Old 10-19-2012, 06:10 AM
 
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Fingers crossed for you GISDiva!

 

You can uncross them.  greensad.gif  Thank you though...


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#34 of 154 Old 10-19-2012, 07:30 AM
 
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GISDiva, oh so sorry.   hug2.gif

 

Coati, sorry AF came.  Glad you feel a bit better.  I tend to be really bummed at the first BFN or AF and then start getting optimistic for a new cycle.  Charts can be crazy-making.

 

Dakipode, how are the OPKs going?  I am considering using them next cycle if this one is a BFN.  But I keep thinking they may be too fussy for my sanity.

 

 

AFM: I am pretty sure I Oed on either CD11 or CD12.  So starting a new TWW.  I am staying pretty zen so far but it's early, of course.  eyesroll.gif  I just started a writing group with some local moms and am really excited about it.  AND hoping it serves well as a distraction.  Been working on some crafting too.  STILL need to get back to reading.  Not enough time in the day!


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#35 of 154 Old 10-19-2012, 08:42 AM
 
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Hi Everyone! I am new to the Mothering Community officially but have been a subscriber for 10+ years and read many posts. I finally got around to joining this week smile.gif I'd like to join this thread as I am TTC #2 and also trying to be calm, cool, collected and flexible (much easier said than done). I am at the end of my TWW, a particularly difficult time for me to me calm. Patience is a virtue I seem to lack right now. I am 12 DPO per OPK, AF due Monday. Doing my best not to symptom spot. Congrats to all the recent graduates and baby dust to you all!! goodvibes.gif


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#36 of 154 Old 10-19-2012, 09:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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coati: sounds like you fit right in, with all this talk of technology and statistics in here lately. Best of luck on the next cycle!

 

GISDiva: sorry... Are you doing something nice for yourself today? A hot beverage and a good book, or meeting up with a friend?

 

beingmommy: I like them. And as an added benefit I've gotten really good at peeing in a cup on demand! LOL! The writing group sounds fun, do you have a specific project or assignments?

 

Sparklemaman and other newcomers: welcome and please share some of your tactics for making it through the 2WW sanely.

 

AFM: On schedule for O sometime this weekend so you know what I'll be doing. Thinking of maybe going to a movie Saturday, we haven't done that in a while. In general I'm feeling more zen in my life right now and I know it's directly related to how much control (I think) I have. Meaning: my house is clean, we're doing great with our meal planning, I'm staying on top of the finances etc. I'm also feeling a bit more surrender regarding TTC, though I'll probably feel differently after O. Life is good right now and it seems like it's been a while since I've felt this way so it's nice to recognize it.

 

I wish you all a wonderful day.


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#37 of 154 Old 10-19-2012, 09:30 AM
 
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justjenny - I'm feeling well.  I'm only 5 weeks, so I'm thinking the tough stuff hasn't hit yet.  I generally feel a little off, and my digestive system is a bit wonky but nothing to complain about too much.  We shall see!  Emotionally and mentally I am feeling fine as well.  I just have the feeling that everything's going to be ok.  It's a very nice feeling, and I hope it lasts.




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#38 of 154 Old 10-19-2012, 10:24 AM
 
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GISDiva: sorry... Are you doing something nice for yourself today? A hot beverage and a good book, or meeting up with a friend?

 

 

 

I had a nice dark beer last night, does that count?  ;)  Helped the cramps too.  Holy smokes, that was the worst I've felt from a period in...I don't know, maybe since a teen.  I can't shake the feeling that I lost more than just a month.  It's crazy, it was too early for much of anything, but...I still can't shake it.  But onward we go.  I'm going to get some Maca this weekend and will probably use OPKs this month just to confirm what I think I know.  I need to feel like I'm doing something. I can still be sane about it.  Right?  Right?!?  lol.gif

 

I told a friend of mine that I was a part of the Sane 2ww thread (she's also here at Mothering) and she said "Is there such a thing?!?"  We had a good laugh.  She's been the bucket for most of my gory details and fears - even though she can just will her 3 children into being the first month they try, she's been very, very supportive and understanding.  And I really don't have time to dwell anyway, Halloween party season is upon us and I've got cookies to bake for DS's class and planning to do for other parties we're going to, plus I have an elderly mom to visit and shop for next weekend, so that will distract me very much.

 

Hello to the newcomers!  Beingmommy, your writing group sounds great, how exciting!  And glad to hear you are doing well, Pokey!  Have fun this weekend, Dakipode... ;)


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#39 of 154 Old 10-20-2012, 04:25 AM
 
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GISDiva sounds like an excellent way to relax and take care of you! And you can certainly use OPKs to give you information, to feel empowered, rather than crazed. I am an information gal and like to have as much as possible. It helps quell much of the anxiety for me.

 

Dakipode not sure I really do stay sane during the TWW, I just do my best. I seem to do okay that first week and usually feel hopeful and excited. The second week I fill with staying busy. I try to really focus on what I need to do at work and caring for my DD. The last two days are almost always the hardest - I have a really regular 28 day cycle that begins with AF on a Monday. I find the weekend before most difficult, more time to think and worry and mull over potential signs/symptoms. This is where find myself today. BUT I am taking my DD to a birthday party and spending time with friends and family this afternoon. I have a few blogs I follow that never fail to make me laugh and I really try to focus on what I am grateful for here, now, rather than allowing my mind to wander to the if only... I try to enjoy the view. It is difficult business. If all else fails, there is Downton Abbey. Such a great escape!

 

Wishing you all a fabulous weekend!!
 


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#40 of 154 Old 10-20-2012, 04:06 PM
 
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Hi SparkleMaman, this is a great group to help with the calm.  Fingers crossed for you and hoping AF does NOT make an appearance.  And yes, Downton Abbey is a great escape! smile.gif

 

Dakipode, oh your zen sounds wonderful.  So glad!  Sending some good fertile thoughts for your O weekend.  And my writing group should be fun.  We are all doing different kinds of writing (some working on books, some essays, some poems).  We're going to try to do weekly writing exercises just to WRITE and we'll see.  I want to write a novel but haven't written in years so I am very rusty.  

 

PokeyAC, glad it's going well so far!

 

GISDiva, sorry for the bad period.  Yuck!  I am considering the OPKs for my next cycle.  I just cannot decide if they will make me more crazy (I have that crazy-making kind of personality - LOL).  Let me know how they go for you.

 

AFM: Been a rough weekend.  Poor planning on my part for making a Halloween costume for my DS.  And now it's a bust and I have little time to throw something else together. It's keeping my mind off all things TTC and TWW, I guess, although I am very agitated and annoyed about the costume which probably doesn't help my chances.  Need to breathe and find some zen.


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#41 of 154 Old 10-20-2012, 04:35 PM
 
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Thanks, beingmommy! I can already feel the warm welcome and sense of calm. So sorry about the costume - I totally know how that goes. Every time I try to extend myself and attempt what seems like a simple creative task for a special occasion (whether cooking/baking/sewing/etc.) it explodes into something way beyond my capabilities. Makes me feel so inadequate and like such a failure. Those moments make it difficult to keep perspective but I am sure your DS will not remember it the same way.

 

AFM, AF arrived 2 days early this morning - so much for my very regular 28 days!! This is very weird. I am having my own little pity party tonight. I am letting myself feel sad and disappointed before I pick myself up to start over tomorrow. I thoroughly enjoyed a few glasses of my favorite wine and I made my favorite pasta dish, with a decadent creamy tomato sauce. The magical thinking is so powerful. Last month I figured out that if we were successful, I'd be due on my birthday. Meant to be, right? This month both my partner and I were super sick with bronchitis when I O'd (I mean coughing so bad I was peeing my pants, and sadly not just a trickle, TMI, I know!). It made the BDing a little tricky wink1.gif or I should say, just not happening. I was just very hopeful it might have happened when we did, though I knew the timing was not ideal. So...

 

Thank you all for being here and for sharing yourselves. It helps keep the calm and the perspective clear. I have so much to be grateful for. Sleepytime for me. sleepytime.gif Good night!
 


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#42 of 154 Old 10-21-2012, 07:15 AM
 
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SparkleMaman, so sorry for AF arriving. hug2.gif  I do a lot of magical thinking too. I kept seeing pregnant women everywhere during my recent Oing week. So of course that is a positive sign, right?  Heh.  Oh and you described me exactly with creative projects.  I always envision this beautiful outcome and then my skill does not match my imaginationand I am disappointed.  Sigh.


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#43 of 154 Old 10-21-2012, 10:32 AM
 
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Hi every body.Is here any one?

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#44 of 154 Old 10-21-2012, 11:23 AM
 
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Hi Fateme.   wave.gif We're here :)  Weekends are a little slow sometimes. Glad to have you here....


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#45 of 154 Old 10-21-2012, 05:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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GISDiva, I hear you. A while back I had an AF that had me suspicious but since I never tested I don't know... And you sound like me: needing to feel like there is at least something under your control if only knowledge

 

Sparklemaman: I love Downton Abbey! Have you seen the season 2 Christmas special? *swoon* Sorry about AF arriving, though it sounds like you had a nice relaxing evening. Good luck on this next cycle!

 

beingmommy: so the sheet with two eye holes is not an option? I already feel inadequate... My children, when I have them, will be going as Waldo, or any "costume" that can be made out of everyday clothes.lol.gif

 

AFM: seems my body changed its mind about O. I'll call the clinic tomorrow to see what's up since the instructions said to call if I didn't O by CD16. I do O on my own so I'm not worried, it'll happen eventually, though I do find it strange that the Clomid didn't seem to have any effect on hastening the process. I'm in a wait and see kind of mood though so I'm ok.

 

How's everyone else doing? There must have been some BD action with 4 of us on the same cycle.


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#46 of 154 Old 10-21-2012, 07:17 PM
 
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Dakipode Love love love the Christmas special! I have been watching Upstairs Downstairs Season 2 on PBS Masterpiece in the absence of Downton Abbey. Also pretty good but I am loyal to DA wink1.gif

 

Beingmommy Totally. I have found a few fun costumes on Ebay. My DD usually wants to dress up as some obscure character so we always have to make it or find an alternative source. We've been reading the How to Train Your Dragon books and she wants to be Astrid the Viking dragon trainer this year. It has actually been a pretty fun costume to put together. I have used this site for ideas too http://familyfun.go.com/halloween/best-last-minute-kids-halloween-costumes-798475/#Bag%20of%20Gross-eeries;1 I wanted to try the lego guy.

 

AFM, it has been an up and down kind of weekend but right now I am doing okay with accepting that it is not meant to be this month. I enjoyed a fun day with my family today and am looking forward to a busy week.

 

Hope you all have a great Monday!


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#47 of 154 Old 10-22-2012, 07:42 AM
 
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coffeebean - Yeah! Hi girlfriend!!!! wave.gif (I want a jumping up and down and waving smilie, but I can't find one.)

Hi sparkle, coati and all the other new comers! Welcome! I'm glad you decided to join us.

GISDiva - Hugs. Sorry af found you.

dakipode - Sorry you're still waiting to O. I'm in the same boat, see below.

AFM - Work's crazy, sorry I haven't been around much. No O yet here either, I think and today is cd 15. greensad.gif I'm pretty sure the OPK last night was negative, but I don't trust the cheapie dollar store ones. I don't think I've ever seen a positive with those. Oh well, sorry, I guess I'm not being very zen. I guess we'll bd tonight and Wednesday night and hope for the best. I hope today isn't O day, because dh really didn't have a lot to give Saturday morning. lol.gif (Sorry, honey, but it's true!) Any one ever get pregnant from a lackluster performance? ROTFLMAO.gif

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#48 of 154 Old 10-22-2012, 05:30 PM
 
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Dakipode, I am better at staying sane when I am really busy at work, but I'm not sure I really keep calm otherwise. I'm normally okay the first 9 days or so. After that, I start getting my hopes up no matter how hard I try not to. This last one, I was really tempted to buy early pregnancy tests. I was in Target, and they were on sale.

 

Beingmommy, I used OPKs for two cycles. I liked using them. It's nice to see some test show up positive. But they're too expensive for me to buy all the time.

 

AFM, I am feeling jealous right now. A former coworker of mine just had a baby. Anybody have any tips for reigning in jealousy?


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#49 of 154 Old 10-22-2012, 06:01 PM
 
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Any one ever get pregnant from a lackluster performance? ROTFLMAO.gif

 

Hee!  I wonder this myself too with my DH sometimes.  Sigh.  Sorry for the not feeling so zen. I am with you there.  Trying hard but I just want to be pregnant already. 

 

SparkleMaman and Dakipode, yeah, I know I could do something less involved.  I guess it's just my DS has autism and this is the first year he has really REALLY understood the whole dressing up thing.  And he asked for a certain costume and I wanted to make it for him. And I COULD have if I had started earlier but I procrastinated and then it all went wrong and there is no time to get new fabric and all that.  He has tons of sensory issues so his costume has to be super comfy and basically just feel like his regular clothes. Luckily he was flexible enough (which was a huge phew for me because he can go into instant meltdowns at the drop of a hat) to agree to change his costume to something I could make more easily.  I am not very happy with it but it will do.

 

Coati, thanks for the info on the OPKs. I might try them next cycle.  No tips for jealousy.  It's hard.  I just try to suffer through it.  But there must be a better way too.


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#50 of 154 Old 10-23-2012, 07:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Any one ever get pregnant from a lackluster performance? ROTFLMAO.gif

LOL! I totally get you! Like the swimmers won't try their best to get to the egg if DH didn't do his best either...

 

Coati: the jealousy gets me too. I try to remind myself that I have a lot to be grateful for in my life and that we each have different paths. It's a start. I try to imagine being the other person and what I have that they would be jealous of because ultimately don't we all think the grass is greener...?

 

beingmommy: don't be too hard on yourself. I'm a big procrastinator too. I read once that perfectionists procrastinate and then we tend to beat ourselves up over the not-so-perfect result of our procrastination...

 

AFM: feeling a bit frustrated after the call to the clinic yesterday, the girl wasn't helpful at all and basically I could have an optional ultrasound to see where things are but I don't want to spend the money and I know I will O on my own eventually, just was hoping Clomid would speed things up. I have been exercising more vigorously lately so maybe my body is just very sensitive to activity? I guess I'm just a bit disappointed right now. BD'd last night just because I felt we should and I was a bit short with DH about it. Also not wanting to buy a whole new batch of OPKs but thinking I might run out before O...

So my plan for peace today: I'm going to enjoy ballet class this morning and this afternoon I'm going to write at Starbucks and make some progress on my story.


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#51 of 154 Old 10-23-2012, 02:54 PM
 
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Thanks,Dakipode!  Sorry things are a bit frustrating.  Sometimes it feels like the world is fighting against our desire for zen. Hoping your O comes soon.  And you know, I must have missed it at some point earlier but I had no idea you write too (or I completely spaced on knowing it).  So neat.  I hope you had a good ballet class and productive story writing.

 

Edited to add:  Whew, just found out my SIL is pregnant again.  She's at 6 weeks.  She had a missed m/c a few months before I did this year and is very nervous right now and also so deserving of this baby (will be her second).  I am so happy for her but also feeling a twinge of jealousy and not liking that.  I really AM happy for her and it means another niece or nephew for me which is wonderful.  So working on trying to calm the twinge.  Or accept it or whatever.  Ack, feeling a bit off kilter actually.


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#52 of 154 Old 10-23-2012, 06:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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beingmommy: it feels like a punch in the gut doesn't it? You want to be happy for them, you know you should, but you can't help feeling sad that it's not you... I think that's the hardest part for me: I end up feeling guilty about being jealous. It's silly but I picture my 5 year old self throwing a temper tantrum saying: "What about ME?!"

BTW, I don't think I've mentioned writing before. I've always wanted to write, starting as a little girl, but never pursued it. One day a couple of years ago I decided I should just do it, even if it never gets published, it'll be a story that I created and I'll be proud of that accomplishment.

Ballet class was good, it does take my mind off things. And I think I'm going to order that new batch of OPKs on Amazon now. I don't want to run out before O, even though I'm fairly good at reading the other signs, it just gives me that reassurance and it helps keep me sane.


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#53 of 154 Old 10-23-2012, 08:13 PM
 
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Dakipode, it DOES feel like a punch in the gut.  I like that image of a 5 year old self having a tantrum.  That is exactly how I feel.  I guess, too, I still have some stuff to work around with our DS having so many issues.  I would NOT want any other kid. He is absolutely the best thing that ever happened to us.  But still it can be hard and exhausting, dealing with the health and development issues.  And my SIL's first daughter is a perfect, neurotypical, precocious 3 yr old. It's wonderful but I do keep thinking, when is it our turn for a little ease?  That's all I want.  Not perfection.  Not for things to be different in the life we have already.  Just for something not to have to be a struggle.  Not to HAVE to be an occasion for growth and all this reaching for zen.  I am growing, Universe!  Okay!  I am growing!  Can I get just a tiny break?  Yeah, ranting a bit.  Sigh.  BUT moving on.  About the writing!  I have also always wanted to write since I was a child.  I did write lots when I was younger but the last 10 years not much at all.  Have you ever done (or heard of) Nanowrimo (http://www.nanowrimo.org/)?  If not, it's this great thing that happens every November where people around the world sign up to write an entire 50,000 word novel in one month.  Super fun and crazy AND a great distraction.  I have signed up every year for years but only manged to do it one year.  I am signing up again this year and hoping to succeed again.


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#54 of 154 Old 10-24-2012, 07:30 AM
 
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Hugs dakipode hug.gif The waiting is horrific. Do you feel ovulation coming? It's got to be soon. Hopefully the clomid is helping make a great well developed egg.

All - I've never been a writer, but I'm a big reader! So I'm always impressed with you writers!
Me- o day was probably yesterday. It felt good, but I really have low expectations. Oops gotta go.

Married to one of the last good guys left Jim
Mom to AJ 4/07 and Genevieve 5/09

And then: I'm really, really tired of making angels.

But wait, could it really be true?


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#55 of 154 Old 10-24-2012, 12:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Have you ever done (or heard of) Nanowrimo (http://www.nanowrimo.org/)?  If not, it's this great thing that happens every November where people around the world sign up to write an entire 50,000 word novel in one month.  Super fun and crazy AND a great distraction.  I have signed up every year for years but only manged to do it one year.  I am signing up again this year and hoping to succeed again.

OMG! That's exactly what I need! Thank you for letting me know about it! I want to do it and it'll be a great distraction as you said, during the 2ww which should get me halfway through November.

 

xerxella: so another lackluster performance? wink1.gif Best of luck to you!


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#56 of 154 Old 10-24-2012, 02:14 PM
 
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OMG! That's exactly what I need! Thank you for letting me know about it! I want to do it and it'll be a great distraction as you said, during the 2ww which should get me halfway through November.

 

 

Yay!!!  

 

Xerxella, fingers crossed for you.  I've got a little more than a week left of my TWW.  I also have low expectations but at least I seemed to have O'ed this time. nut.gif


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#57 of 154 Old 10-24-2012, 08:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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A quote by the artist AlphaDesigner:

 

Nobody can measure pain. What we can measure is how much we obsess with it. If you choose to indulge in pain, even the smallest discomfort may drag you into the deepest depression. It's striking how many people don't understand that. The solution is not to discard pain but to try to understand where it comes from and recognize that apart from suffering, every moment contains a grain of hope, which can germinate only if we water it. It's that simple.


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#58 of 154 Old 10-24-2012, 08:42 PM
 
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A quote by the artist AlphaDesigner:

 

Nobody can measure pain. What we can measure is how much we obsess with it. If you choose to indulge in pain, even the smallest discomfort may drag you into the deepest depression. It's striking how many people don't understand that. The solution is not to discard pain but to try to understand where it comes from and recognize that apart from suffering, every moment contains a grain of hope, which can germinate only if we water it. It's that simple.

  

luxlove.gif Thank you for this.  Just what I needed today!

 

Edited to add:  Oh and my therapist shared an interesting idea with me.  I am a "prepare for the worst" kind of person. And I am currently super "protecting" myself about my chances for this cycle or even a baby at all by assuming it will never happen.  But she said, when you prepare for the worst too much you end up putting yourself through all the pain of disappointment anyway. And maybe needlessly. Sort of obvious but I never thought about it that way.  So I am "trying on" a little hope and vulnerablity to see what happens.  Feels weird, to be honest.


Wife to DHguitar.gif, Mama to DS1 luxlove.gifribbonjigsaw.gif (06/2007) and DS2 baby.gif (06/2013), missing babies (mc 08/2006 @ 5 weeks) and (missed mc 06/2012 @ 11 weeks)

 

 

 

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#59 of 154 Old 10-25-2012, 09:16 AM
 
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beingmommy - Wait, I'm a prepare for the worst sort of person. How does that cause pain along the way? When you prepare for the worst, you're not disappointed when the worst happens... it's what you expected. Right?

Married to one of the last good guys left Jim
Mom to AJ 4/07 and Genevieve 5/09

And then: I'm really, really tired of making angels.

But wait, could it really be true?


The whole story at: www.xerxella.blogspot.com
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#60 of 154 Old 10-25-2012, 10:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't know that I agree, Xerxella. I think expecting the worst has a way of coloring your point of view and you end up experiencing more negativity because you are constantly looking for evidence of negativity. So I think the experience leading up to the disappointment might be equal to or greater than getting all the disappointment at once...

 

beingmommy, I don't know where you are but I think especially in the US there is this attitude of "toughness", which usually includes not showing any emotions. I think we grow up learning to shield our feelings from others, trying to be less vulnerable that way, and in the process we lose a connection with our self. We are taught to control our feelings, but often we take that to mean suppress them. Letting yourself hope and feel is a vulnerable position but you wouldn't put yourself in a position you couldn't handle. Ultimately being zen is being at peace with that vulnerability because you accept each feeling as it comes and then let it go.


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