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A Saner TTC: Frosty Moon

6K views 214 replies 23 participants last post by  Xerxella 
#1 ·
Hello all and welcome!

The original "Sane 2ww" thread was started by zenquaker and you can find it here: original thread. This is a continuation of the "Sane 2ww" thread and we felt "A Saner TTC" was a natural evolution. We will start a new thread each new moon and name it for the upcoming full moon.

Here's the gist of the original thread: this is a space to re-conceive the 2ww as a time of waiting and contemplation. Although we don't judge those who wish to poas frequently, symptom-spot, or do chart analysis, this a space set apart from that activity. We share our thoughts about other ways to approach the 2ww and all parts of our cycles. We encourage each other to feel our feelings fully and to greet all possible outcomes with openness.

We hope you'll join us!
 
#52 ·
Thank you guys for the warm welcome
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I have no where else at the moment to voice my feelings about TTC.

dakipode, WOW Congratulations!!
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It's such a happy/confusing time at the beginning! I remember the first time it did not feel real until I saw a tiny beating heart on the screen (it was such an awesome moment, I still get all worked up about it when I remember!).

A good friend of mine is pregnant and now almost at 9 weeks. It is her second pregnancy and she says she's not feeling pregnant at all (no symptoms other than the jeans getting too tight to close). I also don't remember feeling anything until after the first ultrasound so it must've been week 7 or so. So I think it is very normal that you're not feeling much. And by the way, in my obsessive Google search on negative pregnancy tests, I found loads of stories of women testing negative well into their 10 or 11th week!
 
#53 ·
In my effort not to make TTC an obsessive endeavor... yesterday I was looking at DD and thinking about the time we conceived her. It hit me all of a sudden why I probably ovulated early (and got pregnant) that particular cycle. We were so utterly bored yet so happy and relaxed! I was visiting my partner (who was working the south of France at the time) and we had literally nothing to do and no where to go. It was so cold outside, we just slept so much, ate a lot of good food, watched movies and ahem... did other things. I remember it as a peaceful, happy, nothing-to-do time.

This is so different from this time around: run to work then run to the day care, put DD for a nap and cook, clean, run errands... collapse exhausted at 9 when she is finally in bed. I've been skipping lunch a lot (wondering why i feel so week at 4 in the afternoon), drinking a lot of coffee and catching breakfast on the go. I want to make my life more peaceful, less hectic. So small changes I'm making: getting up a tad bit earlier, having a good breakfast at home and remembering to take my supplements (Vit. D, Folic acid and fish oil), eating a salad for lunch, and relaxing a bit about my loooooong list of todos. I took extra vacation days for Christmas, and we're finally admitting that we have to plan the Christmas season (what to do when) so that we don't end up overwhlemed like every year. Today I've also axed a couple of appointments that would've just added to the stress.

And one particular thing that is keeping my spirits up while waiting... yesterday I thought of a few things I will be able to do if I don't get pregnant this cycle. My favorite is a short visit to the spa/sauna with DP on one of two half days that we have to ourselves.

Any particular thing you guys are doing to keep your spirits up?
 
#54 ·
dakipode - That's very zen of you. I would have to know the numbers to know for myself that they're rising appropriately. (But, that may have more to do with my losses than anything else.) Are they sending you for a third test? Usually, if they're very happy with the first 2, they won't bother, but some docs like a third test no matter what. I can probably take the thread if I don't get a BFP in 2 weeks. I DO believe in the luck of the thread keeper.

lilykay - TTC#2 is definitely different than #1! Somehow, it still all works out though.... Mostly, I stay distracted taking care of my 2 and working and making couple time with dh. That fills all of my time.
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AFM - I'm not obsessing.... I'm not obsessing... I'm not obsessing... BUT... the OPKs are still + and no convincing temp rise this morning! Sigh. Hey, at least I get a little more action tonight!
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#55 ·
LilyKay Thanks for sharing your story about seeing your DD's heartbeat. I read yesterday that the heart starts beating pretty early on and I was surprised. That would probably make it a little more real. Just out of curiosity I POAS'd this morning I did get a line so now it's not just the nurse's word against mine. LOL!
I loved reading about your time in France. It reminded me of a discussion I had with a wise friend of mine about feeling different when I'm home. Not just because mom is taking care of me, I just feel more self assured and assertive when I'm there and in a sense more at peace with who I am. She asked me what it would take to recreate that feeling here and what elements from life at home can I incorporate into my life to remind myself that I can be that confident person. It really helped me to look at the ritual side of things, the little habits that you have and you're not necessarily aware of. Perhaps, looking back on that more peaceful time in your life there are elements that you can incorporate in your life now.

Xerxella She didn't mention anything about a third test, only the US. I think the whole threadkeeper's luck is more of an odds thing: eventually when you've been TTC for so long you volunteer to take over at the time when odds for conception are in your favor just because you've been trying for so long... But we can go along with the magical thinking too if that works better for you.
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Good luck tonight!
 
#56 ·
Hi! Yes, we are trying to conceive. This was our 4th cycle trying for number 4. I do not have a good feeling about it, and have not the whole month....not sure why.....anyway, I will test on the 26th if AF has not arrived, I expect it to arrive right on time on day 32.... We will have to take the next 2 months off because of an unschooling celebration at Disney World in Sept of 2013....it is right in the middle of the month - dont want to bring a 2 week old and cant go 38 weeks pregnant.....2 months off is scaring the crap out of me with my age.....i feel like our chances will slip away......2 months off would be good for me to get back in shape and i could enjoy wine with the holidays...but still...ok, i am just babbling now...sorry.
 
#57 ·
Wow, dakipode - Congratulations on your BFP!
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What a mix of emotions to lose your cat that same day - I just can't imagine.

Afm, I'll be taking a break for a little while. AF arrived right on time this morning - I could tell it was probably coming for the past two days and living in this weird place of hope and denial, optimism and frustration. My DW and I have decided to use December to hit a "reset button" on our preparations, expectations, and confidence so that we can start fresh with the new year.

Best of luck to all, and Happy Thanksgiving!
 
#58 ·
sphinxy- sorry af came
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Hope you and DW have a wonderful and relaxing Dec.

xerxella- I'm pretty sure I O'd cd 15. Hope you get your temp rise soon!

Dakipode - OMG! Congratulations!!!!! I'm so happy for you!
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#59 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by dakipode View Post

Xerxella I think the whole threadkeeper's luck is more of an odds thing: eventually when you've been TTC for so long you volunteer to take over at the time when odds for conception are in your favor just because you've been trying for so long... But we can go along with the magical thinking too if that works better for you.
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Good luck tonight!
dakipode - I'm sure you're right, but, hey it sounds good in getting people to volunteer!
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BTW, I'm just so stinking happy for you!!!!

mirpmama - Aahhhhh, I remember the days of thinking that far ahead.... When we didn't try in March because I didn't want a Christmas baby.... Now, I figure if I'm lucky enough to get pregnant and get a keeper at my age (37) we'll figure it out/change our plans.

sphinxy - Sorry about af.
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I REALLY hate that time when you know she's coming, but she's not here yet. It's almost a relief when she finally shows up, so you can just let go and hit the reset button.

justjenny - Yeah for an O!!!! May you not even notice the 2ww!

AFM - Woohoo! We leave for vacation tomorrow! I can't wait!
 
#60 ·
Dakipode Just logged in and saw your awesome news. YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!
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I cannot tell you how very happy and excited I am for you. I told you, those two car accidents were the waves through the universe needed to bring you back some positive karma. And just so you know, I had NO symptoms at all with my DD until 6 weeks, when I had morning sickness (which was constant) but only for about 10 days in duration. And I had a full term, healthy pregnancy. I think it is actually pretty unusual to have much in the way of definitive signs or symptoms early on, despite what many books and web sites will have you believe. Oh, I am just thrilled for you!!!

I am also very sorry about your cat, that is so, so hard. It is totally okay to feel both the sad and happy conflicting emotions. I know you know this but you do need to let yourself experience both, to grieve and to celebrate.

Xerxella I always liked that quote too!! I also am fond of Vivian Greene's take: "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass…It's about Learning To Dance In The Rain." These little wisdoms help me keep things in perspective in times of sadness or despair. Thinking of you and Fx!! Enjoy your vacation!!

LilyKay Welcome and good luck!

Beingmommy Hope the morning sickness passes soon. It is awful while it is with you, but also a reassuring sign!

Sphinxy I am so sorry. I have been thinking of you and was really hoping this would be your month.
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I hope you and your DW enjoy the holidays and find some peace and comfort, balance and centering, as you move forward.

JustJenny and Mirpmama Fingers Crossed!!

AFM, AF is finishing up and I am waiting to O, likely mid-late next week. I am trying not to put any pressure on myself or on our timing. I am going to try to let go, relax and see what happens. Striving for zen here, this is a real stretch for me. One day at a time. . .
 
#61 ·
Dakipode, Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy for you!

I'm also really sorry to hear about your cat.

Sparklemaman, you are a great source of quotes. TTC is teaching me a lesson about how I can't plan everything.

Xerxella and mirpmama, I know what you mean about trying to plan 9 months ahead. Last year I was thinking, oh that wouldn't be a good time because of my conference, etc. I'm with you now Xerxella. If it happens, the rest of life can be planned around it.

Sphinxy, sorry AF showed up, but sounds like you are going to have a nice break. Those are important.

AFM - I got my hysteroscopy scheduled. I have to wait until mid-January due to scheduling issues. The next two months will be an exercise in patience. On the bright side, this will also be kind of a break I hope. Since the doctor told me that the polyp creates a high chance of miscarriage, we're not going to try very actively in the meantime. In the back of my mind, I still know I'm due for O this weekend though.
 
#63 ·
Do you mind if I join in here? I really like the idea of this group, especially since I've stopped obsessing over things and am having a more relaxed outlook. And also, congratulations Dakipode!

Last month I had an unplanned pregnancy. I had every symptom possible and after the initial surprise DP and I became very excited about the prospect. Sadly AF came on Halloween so that was the end of that. But the experience made us realise that another baby would be nice, and I think our daughter would love to have a sibling. So we decided to start actively trying.

So now I'm having symptoms again but this time not quite as many or as strong as last time. For some reason I have it in my mind that lots of strong symptoms early on is a bad thing, but I might be wrong. But due to last month and my miscarriage in February I'm being very cautiously optimistic in case it happens again. I really hope this one sticks, if indeed I am pregnant. I should be able to test at the end of the month. It's nice not obsessing or worrying about it, and I feel a lot happier for it.
 
#64 ·
Nettle soup- welcome!!!! i hope you find peace here. Just FYI, lots of post ovulation symptoms are the same as pregnancy symptoms because both sets of symptoms are caused by an increase in progesterone.
 
#66 ·
I've been MIA because of holiday travel and spotty Internet...I finally have time to log on tonight and I thought "I just know someone is pregnant on here and I really think it's Dakipode.". And voila! Comgratulations! Sorry about your kitty though, how rough! I often think that a BFP is going to come with the passing of our cat, is that weird? She's elderly, she's had a brush with cancer, and she's a total pain in our asses, but that day will be sooooo very hard, whenever it is.

Welcome LilyKay, and how true about conceiving the first as opposed to the second. I am so busy and stressed out and mostly there's not much to do about it other than take it a day at a time. Life was just so damned *leisurely* compared to now!

Welcome to all the other newcomers too, I know there were a few I missed. Hope everyone is doing well wherever they are in their circular journey that is TTC...

AFM: O time here, although not sure exactly when, I ditched the OPKs this month with the travel and whatnot. We got it on at the in-laws house out of necessity, good thing the TV is always loud there. Lol!

Goodnight all, sweet baby dreams.
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#67 ·
Hey all,
Apparently the universe wasn't done messing with me. After some excruciating pains Thursday night and still feeling pretty lousy on Friday I was diagnosed yesterday with an ectopic pregnancy and given drugs to terminate...
Talk about odds: according to the little flyer they gave me at the clinic only 1-2% of pregnancies end up being ectopic! I bought a lottery ticket on the way home...
It's weird because the pregnancy never felt real in the first place. I'm tempted to call it a very long wait for AF just because that would be easier to wrap my head around. I'm sad but I'm also glad I only got my hopes up for 4.5 days, as opposed to if I had known sooner that I was pregnant.
So I'm back to hanging out with you lot and I'm glad to be in good company!
May we all get our BFPs with positive endings soon!

By the way, Xerxella, what really convinced me was the numbers, the doc told me they were 85 last week Friday, then 563 on Monday, but then this Friday they were only 606. Even if it wasn't an ectopic, which he said they could never be 100% sure about, it seemed to me that based on those numbers the pregnancy wasn't going to make it anyway.
 
#70 ·
Oh Dakipode, words cannot express how sorry I am. This is SO NOT FAIR!!
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And yes I know, life is truly not fair. I am reminded of this fact (which my mother rattled off incessantly as I was growing up in response to my many observations of, that's not fair) far too often. I am glad to hear you seem to have a healthy perspective. I hope you are able to take time to grieve and process your feelings and are able to find peace and comfort. Hugs. You are in my thoughts.
 
#71 ·
Sparklemaman I probably have mentioned this before: one of my favorite cartoons shows Calvin and Hobbes walking side by side. Calvin is complaining to Hobbes who then says: You know, life isn't fair. And Calvin replies: Yes, but why does it always have to be unfair to me?!

GISDiva your comment about the TV being loud had me laughing so hard! Hope you got the timing right!

nettlesoup so sorry to hear about your losses earlier this year. I hope things work out for you this cycle.

coati sounds like you're taking it all in stride. While it may not be what you planned I hope your short break gives you some breathing room and time away from the crazy emotional rollercoaster we are all on.

mirpmama I feel the same as coati and xerxella: i.e. when it happens doesn't matter so much because I just want it to happen already. Have you had the chance to test?

sphinxy I hope you find peace of mind in December.

AFM: I think I am part Vulcan. My rational mind is very good at keeping the emotional side of me at bay. I know that there will be another day, another opportunity, and all is not lost. I think part of what people mourn is the loss of possibility, knowing that the things you imagined would happen some day won't ever happen. But I am open to whatever comes. I am reassured that we are capable of getting egg and sperm to meet properly and I put my faith in the odds that next time it will be a healthy pregnancy with a happy outcome.
Being a part of this group has helped me tremendously and I thank all of you ladies for your support!
 
#72 ·
Hugs dakipode. The whole loss thing really does just suck. My second loss was, as the doc called it, a PUL ( pregnancy of unknown location). The numbers were low and slow the whole pregnancy and they never saw anything in the uterus. I'm so sorry.
 
#74 ·
Boo. That really sucks, Dakipode. I agree with your outlook though, at least you know can get pregnant. That's a good way to look at it, even though it still stings horribly. ((((hugs)))
 
#76 ·
Hi everyone! Is it okay if I join? I am not technically TTC until next month, but I am hoping to be able to do so in a stress free, sane way. Earlier this year Dh gave me one month and one month only to TTC, and if we didn't succeed I had to wait until he was ready. Well he surprised me last summer and told me that we could start trying in December, so here I am-less than one month away from TTC (currently on cd 14 of my last WTTC) cycle and already I am starting to stress about not getting pregnant. I am hoping y'all can keep me calm :)
 
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