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Taking The Scenic Route to a BFP - Winter/Spring 2013 Edition

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#1 ·
Taking The Scenic Route to a BFP

Winter/Spring 2013

Hello and Welcome!

The original "Scenic Route" thread was started by Sherryvhkb and can be found here. This is a continuation.

"This is a "grad thread" of sorts for us 1st cycle on Clomid ladies.....who are no longer on our first cycle of Clomid but have enjoyed each others company and support. It is also for all those who have neen lurking, following, chiming in and cheering us on. It is for a group of women all trying to get to the same place by taking the roads less traveled. We all have a journey here- some longer- some harder...we all at different times come up against obstacles and uphill climbs...and in between it all we share our fears, choices, hopes, frustrations, and accomplishments, and throw in a little bit of everyday life too." - Sherryvhkb

So whether you have chosen to pursue infertility treatments, alternative treatments, or have been at this a while and just want to learn more, feel free to jump in and get to know us!
 
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#253 ·
msD I'm so sorry about AF!!

Just a quickie: indie this was my earliest o, on clomid 5-9 though, but oed late on cd 14 (triggered cd 13). I hope is works!!

Thanks everyone for the good advice about the progesterone. I have been cheating already for a while doing a small amount of prog cream. I read a couple studies and decided just to up that by a smidge, and wait for Fridays results. I had this possibly irrational fear crop up that the last miscarriage would have just been normal early one if not for the progesterone. Unlikely, I know, but still... So that was my decision. Just waiting for tomorrow...
 
#254 ·
Just a quick fly by...

SKJ,

I'm now halfway through my 3rd cycle. My first PPAF came when DD was 5 months. So I haven't been trying that long... I just don't feel like we can afford to wait. Actually, it's so nice to have this online community-- I don't tell my friends or family that we're ttc'ing, because I know that they will tell me to 'just enjoy the kids that I have''. They mean well, and for my parents, I just think they are so worried about me (I had a difficult time during late pregnancy and post partum with DD, because of placenta previa and depression/anxiety because of how medicalized things went). Anyway,I am all better and ready to get going with things, and I'm so grateful that I'm already cycling again, so that I can have as many chances of trying as possible. DD has just begun to STTN this past week, so no more night nursings which I am really thankful for. We were co-sleeping until a couple of weeks ago-- but with having the two little ones and being back in school (I've had to go back to my masters program after having had 2 years of parental LOA-- thank goodness I negotiated with them to do only 1 course per semester), I was starting to go a little mental with it (she was starting to turn into an all-night nurser, which is what DS became... and I didn't feel like I could go down that road again).

That must have been so hard to make sense of the opinions that you received from the REs... One says you need IVF stat, another says you don't... Then that one says you should continue with the Clomid/IUI despite your lining being affected adversely. I think it's good that the third RE is investigating things as she is-- you can get a through examination of things from the hormonal aspect, and then go on from there. The pregnancy loss specialist, what kind of hormonal checks did he/she do? Similar as to what this RE is planning on doing?
 
#255 ·
Sila, hopefully you can get going on things soon... even better would be a bfp so you wouldn't have to. What part of the process causes you to feel scared? If I have to go that route, I'm scared of all the stress of hoping/waiting to see if it worked... ugh
 
#256 ·
Sorry, I hate to come on just to talk about myself (even though I've been reading along, just not replying). DH is just so convinced that this is going to happen naturally. Yeah? When? Our history isn't great. Oh the eternal optimist. Plus I though we agreed that we are really just ready to be done and do what we need to do to move on. It's really frustrating me because he isn't taking our plans for next cycle seriously. We had to have the talk again today about how I need to order my meds for next cycle this cycle. It's not that I'm not hopeful, because I am, but I'm not. Understand?

Here's the thing, I feel like my on my own my hormones and reproductive system are just so messed up. Which is frustrating because in all other aspects I'm pretty much the healthiest person I know (excuse my ego) and I take it very seriously. I'm completely confused right now. I'm having signs of impending ovulation but am confused with my temps because they seem so high. Most likely since I've been temping almost a whole hr later than I have the last few cycles. It's freaking me out because temping is pretty much the only way I can tell if I've ovulated at all and I really want to know this time so I can plan ahead for next cycle. The last 2 days there has been the tiniest bit of red blood mixed with my cm (not spotting or anything, just when I wipe). To me it's just another sign of how messed up my hormones must be.

Right now I just want to do the injectables and end up pregnant. If it doesn't work I'm done. I'm not putting my body through any more and I'm not throwing our money at something that might not work. I'll continue acupuncture and we'll save up for adoption.

Rant over.

Sorry to dump on you guys. That's just where I'm at. I guess it's why I haven't been posting. I'll try to do better because when it's me I know I sure appreciated other's input ;)

Tenzins - The stress of all the monitoring appts, the financial stress, the stress of waiting to see if it worked, mostly the stress of knowing this is it for us if it doesn't work (even though I'm completely confident in that decision).
 
#257 ·
Sila - huge hugs!!! As much as we love them men really just don't get that sometimes we want/need a definite path, or the emotional trauma female hormones can wreak through early losses and emotional upheaval.
Sending you sympathy and fx that it works out as you would wish it!
I know I'm new here - but isn't part of the purpose of this site to share the emotional roller coaster? Remember you are amongst friends who will understand... Don't suffer in silence - that is soo polite!
 
#258 ·
I'm reading along and sending huge hugs and Love .... I am so upset about all the bad news ... staying very optimistic for you all.
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#259 ·
Ms D - I am so sorry. Hugs to you.

Bebe - Hope you're feeling better

Sila - Dump/rant away. It's what we're here for. The good, bad, and ugly.

Gtree - When do we get to see those boys? I can't remember but do you have names?

Indie -
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You're awesome

Everyone else - Hugs and love to you!!!!
 
#261 ·
Toothfairy and Jpack... I am so hopeful for you both today! Love Love Love to you both!

Sila - you know, when I was talking with my dh the other day about how we've been trying for roughly 2 1/2 years since the miscarriage with not a single pregnancy to show for it, his response was "well, we haven't really been trying that hard" REALLY??? ... so... yeah... i get it :) i'm sorry about your confusing symptoms. i hope there is some resolution for you (and all of us) soon.

Chuord - I love your profile pic! Where was that taken? I keep laughing to myself about your comment of making sure to orgasm... i imagine myself on the table getting the IUI and... yeah... maybe not the most appropriate place to implement that strategy! hahaaha.

Chrissy and SKJ - happy friday :)

AFM - IUI tomorrow morning. we went ahead and bd'd yesterday evening before i triggered. that might be cutting it close for the sperm sample but from what i understand dh's numbers are fine, it's his motility that's compromised, so i think we should be ok. i've booked a 90 mintue massage for this evening and am adding in QGM therapy which is some kind of sound therapy that is supposed to increase your Qi :
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i'm a sucker for stuff like that. we'll see. i'm trying to stay in a positive place without hanging that positivity on the results of this cycle. if i try to think things like "this is it! this is the cycle we will get our baby!" it doesn't feel good because then i think about all the reasons it won't work... so i'm trying to just keep my energy positive by being thankful for my doctor and her staff, being thankful that my goofy right ovary appears to be working, being thankful that the rest of my life besides this infertility stuff is pretty easy breezy, thankful for each and every one of you, thankful that i get to see skj again in february (woot!), thankful that i have more things to "try" when it comes to getting our baby... there's much to be thankful for even if this cycle is a big, fat, hairy, bust. you have my permission to remind me of all of this if i crash and burn over the 2ww :)
 
#262 ·
indie that's a lot to be thankful for! I'm thankful for you, too! It's crazy the things our dhs come up with! I think a lot if times, at least for me, they just have such a hard time putting thoughts into words and sort of processing. My dh says things he doesn't really mean and I feel like I have to put it into that context and usually he kinda figures it out later! Super cool about your treatments! Good luck! Enjoy!

sila I'm so sorry it has been so tough for you, and sorry dh isn't helpful and supportive. I know what you mean about wanting it to work or be over it, I feel that way too a lot- I feel like if I just gave up and put that energy towards dd, I'd just be so much happier and feel better. But of course, I could regret that too, and we want it so bad... I wish there was some certainty!

Shell hi!

chrissy hope you're hanging in there! Sending a hug!

afm sorry on phone- little ability to get everybody but hope everyone is having a great day and looking forward to a nice three-day-weekend!! (In the us...)

In the car to the RE, dd goes, "I hope you don't get any bad news today." I never thought she connected to dots. It's crazy. She is pretty emotionally mature, and I actually feel better that somehow she understands- I'm not mad at her or anything, just sometimes life gives you lemons. She still has no clue what the news is about, I think.

I'll let you all know how today's beta goes, I'm trying to get to the same mind frame I was on Wednesday when I was totally prepared for a falling beta. Letting the acceptance back in! Watched Modern Family last night and thought, you know, a big gap between dd and a sib might be just fine! And since that's my only real fear, I'm fine... For today!
 
#263 ·
sila - No need for apologies! We are here for you always. This process is so hard in and of itself and stupid DH's just make it so much harder. It's like they don't see how painful this is for us. I guess my only thought is know that you aren't alone in terms of DH's not getting it. I also totally get what you are saying about being so healthy in every other aspect of your life, why can't you just fix this one too. It's just really sucky and hard to feel so helpless. I hate when temping causes more stress. I hope you get some answers and that you are ovulating early this month. I think that if you are temping an hour later, it makes sense that your temps are higher. And, I'm sure that you will see a temp shift when you O. I totally understand the feeling of trying this one thing and being done. It's just so hard to go through so much heartbreak. I'm sending you lots of love.

Chrissy - Hugs and love right back at you.

indie - I think you hit the positivity nail on the head. I think we wrap up so much of our feelings in the outcome (for good reason), but there are many things to be thankful for as we go through the process. I'm going to take what you said as inspiration. I'm going to try to write down 5 things I'm thankful for every morning. Focusing on the good things is such a nice way to start the day.

Good luck tomorrow. I'm totally LOL about orgasming while getting an IUI. Enjoy all your fun massage stuff today!

Jpack - wow. Your DD sounds amazing. It sucks that she has a sense of what is going on, but I can imagine that being a sense of support in a way too. I sometimes wish I could tell DD everything since I know (even at 2.5 yo) she'd get it more than DH
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As for the gap, I share your concerns. But, I'm in a place where I think a big gap is great for a few reasons. First, I'm 4.5 years older than my brother and I remember him being born and just LOVING everything about him. I did torture him a bit too
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We had a great relationship when we were little and still do. So, I think having an older DD would be so great b/c she'll be such an awesome helper with the baby. Then, I also love the idea of having so much time getting to know DD on her own without another baby. It would be so hard to juggle two close to the same age. Then, when #2 shows up, DD will be in school and you will have time to focus on the baby. A good friend of mine who has 2 that are 21 months apart feels like she missed out on her second's first year b/c she was just trying to manage the two of them. I really don't see any down sides. I'm sure there are some, but I'm choosing to ignore them
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So, whatever happens today, you will be ok and your family will be ok. We will be here to support you regardless of the outcome.
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#264 ·
So... Beta was today 189. Actually shorter doubling time than the last interval, but still not good: I'm down from 67hrs to 57 hrs. More torture, this time I don't go back til Tuesday. Progesterone was down from 14 to 12. I asked about the prometrium and they're gonna call me back. I'm feeling like I'm not in good hands, I mean, should I really have to ask? Shouldn't they care about this working? Oh, who knows... Anyway, we'll see how it goes I guess.
 
#265 ·
My re said you need them to increase by 66% every 48 hours. It sucks so bad to be in limbo. But they are within range. And, progesterone fluctuates. Besides not having a clue about progesterone, did they say anything about the increase in hcg? Hoping you just have a lazy boy in there.
 
#266 ·
Thanks SKJ! I just got off the phone with the nurse- she was nice, but no real answers. She was supposed to get an answer about prometrium and the answer was no, doc "doesn't recommend it" because "it's not shown to help in clomid cycles" but she's fine if I want to take it because it won't hurt. Not a particularly helpful answer and of course I'll be all over that research tonight about clomid... After I go ahead and use it!

The nurse was kinda hopeful, actually, so that was interesting... What to do until Tuesday?...
 
#267 ·
Jpack - What does that even mean it doesn't help in clomid cycles?? Is an implanted embryo & pregnancy not the same regardless of method used to get there??? I'm so happy to hear your progress & really hope this is it.

I'm on my way put to dinner & promise I'll come back for personals tomorrow. My HCG was up to 164, doubling time 54 hours. Progesterone was 9.41 so it looks like we are still on the game. We go back Tuesday for hopefully my final beta.
 
#269 ·
tf & jpack - Congrats to both of you. I think things are going to work out!! You both are well within the 48-72 hour range. And, based on TF's dream, we know she's having a boy, so I'm guessing you are too Jpack. I hope you have a wonderful weekend. can't wait for Tuesday's results.
 
#270 ·
hallefrickinlujah!!! hooray tf and jpack!! i think skj is right... we have two lazy boys on our hands!!! ahhh best news i could get after rolling off the massage table!!
 
#271 ·
Congratulations
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Very happy for ou TF and Jpack!!! , Good Luck on the IUI tomorrow Indie
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#276 ·
Jpack and TF - WooHooo! I have been tuning in and out and hoping like mad that everything kept moving... So excited right now!

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Indie - Thanks! The pic is taken at a seaside suburb, lol the weather here is too hot for us during the day through summer (Nov-March) this day was cold and wet - very rare, so us two idiots got all geared up and went for a walk... surprise surprise we had it almost to ourselves!

ROFL re the orgasm in the doc's office.... Hmm you could be right on that one... Worse if you laugh while in there and have to explain why! (now I've suggested it you know you will lol).. Seriously though, great idea to do the relaxation treatments, and thinking of you heaps as the process gets fully under way! I love your attitude about this cycle - keep it up, and let things just happen!

Skj - you are such a wonderful support to the girls on here - I love it!

Sila, Chrissy, Tenzin's, Shell, and Indie and Skj - It looks like another two down, here's to there being at least another two of us this month, and the month after, etc. Happy baby dust and stickiness all around!
 
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