Fabulous Forty Somethings TTC! - Page 21 - Mothering Forums
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#601 of 709 Old 05-01-2014, 07:43 AM
 
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Hi Mommas,

 

I've been on this forum before when we were ttc our third baby at 40.  She's now a healthy, happy just turned three year old.  We weren't ruling out having another, life got really crazy busy (moving out of state)..but we recently decided to take the ttc plunge!  We are so fortunate, we got pg on the second try (as is the case with my other two, my son the first try).  However, as great as that is, I went in for an early ultrasound and they dated me at 7w2d, saw a baby but with no heartbeat.  We were crushed.  I wasn't scheduled to see a doctor that day (monday) but they made us see one to talk over our options.  He wasn't hopeful at all that this is a viable pregnancy.  He said he's very suspicious, but he can't call it either way until we see the baby again next week.  He said it could be possible our dates are off but even at 6.5 weeks usually (his word) a heartbeat can be seen.  I've been crying off and on and up and down the emotional rollercoaster (hope to grief and back).  So, I just need to talk about this and maybe feel better.  I've had one loss before, after my second child, at 5.5 weeks.  This baby was due just before my 45th birthday.  I'm open to trying again if this one is lost, but I know I'll be crazy with anxiety after going through this.  I've had no bleeding or cramping at all, and full blown pregnancy symptoms.  Just this wait is torture.  :(   Thanks for listening. 


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#602 of 709 Old 05-01-2014, 01:05 PM
 
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If this info helps any one, soy isoflavones caused me to ovulate on day 11, which is really early, I ov on day 17 most of the time. And you get lots of ovary pain prior...I took them cycle days 3-7.

 

Hi Sneezy, I really hope the doctor is wrong, if your pregnancy hormones are still strong, he could be. Hang in there, it could turn around, I've heard of that, in fact my holistic doctors wife was told to get a D&C for what they thought was an impending miscarriage and he insisted they wait to see if it was viable (he felt it was based on the temps and other signs) and it turned out to be a healthy baby.


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#603 of 709 Old 05-02-2014, 03:28 PM
 
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Welcome to the new ladies!

 

 I have decided to go with a different attitude this cycle around. Instead of bemoaning my age and reading discouraging things on the internet - I am going to put more energy into being positive. I have a tendency to second guess myself, get trapped in negative thinking, be anxious etc.... about this whole TTC process (at least with trying for my third child) I don't know that increased positive thinking can make me pregnant but perhaps it will flow over into other parts of my life as well.

 

nexxus - I had also read that menopause is tied in to the age of how old your mother was at her menopause (and the maternal side of the family in general) Unfortunately, I don't have much of a clue as to when it would have been for my mother. She had a total hysterectomy at age 38. Several of my cousins have also had hysterectomies in their mid-40's - so none of these ladies are actually making it through to a natural menopause. Not really that close to most of my family. I would feel odd calling up my female cousins to ask when they started their menopause - although I want to just so I can have a better idea what to expect ;-)


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#604 of 709 Old 05-03-2014, 01:22 PM
 
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Welcome to the new ladies!

 

 I have decided to go with a different attitude this cycle around. Instead of bemoaning my age and reading discouraging things on the internet - I am going to put more energy into being positive. I have a tendency to second guess myself, get trapped in negative thinking, be anxious etc.... about this whole TTC process (at least with trying for my third child) I don't know that increased positive thinking can make me pregnant but perhaps it will flow over into other parts of my life as well.

 

nexxus - I had also read that menopause is tied in to the age of how old your mother was at her menopause (and the maternal side of the family in general) Unfortunately, I don't have much of a clue as to when it would have been for my mother. She had a total hysterectomy at age 38. Several of my cousins have also had hysterectomies in their mid-40's - so none of these ladies are actually making it through to a natural menopause. Not really that close to most of my family. I would feel odd calling up my female cousins to ask when they started their menopause - although I want to just so I can have a better idea what to expect ;-)

Hey orangemomma, I'm with you, thanks to the thyroid stuff I am taking finally kicking in I am very positive it will work, my thyroid had me in a depression. I read the demand for thyroid hormone goes up 30% in pregnancy and mine freaked out. Pregnancy is a test of your thyroid. Did you ever do the cycle day 3 blood tests? I think they can help you be positive. I just read on the internet that each individual is different. It said some ladies can easily have a baby at age 45 because it is based on your ovarian age, not your numerical age. I have the FSH, estradiol, and LH of a 30 year old - So I'm going with that, plus they say if you look younger has something to do with it and every one thinks I'm in my 30's. I also read that if you OV later in the cycle means you have good ovarian reserve whereas if you ov early you may be running out. I ov on days 17-20. My mom was tested for menopause at age 55 because she had fibroids and wanted to wait till menopause for them to shrink (lower estrogen in menopause), and they told her she was no where near menopause from her blood tests plus she all ready had 5 kids and two more pregnancies, 1 at 40 and another at 48, so she had to get a hysterectomy to get rid of the fibroids. My cousin had babies at 42 and 44....my Great Aunt had a change of life baby at 58! She died when he was 12. Maybe you could base it on if relatives had babies in their 40's?

 

A good quote from a psychic on how to manifest your desire: "The universe cannot bring you something you cannot hold. There will be no place for it in your life. It will slip through your fingers. Show the universe that you have a container ready for that which you desire".

 

She went on to say...wishing doesn't work, you have to believe and live as if it will manifest.


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#605 of 709 Old 05-03-2014, 01:57 PM
 
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Sneezy, so sorry to hear that you are going through this right now. It's a hard place to be. I'm holding you in my thoughts. When do you go back, you mentioned this coming week?

 

Hello and welcome to the new ladies just joining us on here. :)

 

Nexxus, what was it exactly that you read about, the bit that talked about women looking younger than their age?  Does it mean that your cells age quite good and so your eggs may be not too bad off either?

 

Sorry this is kind of a drive-by... like LitMama, I've got a deadline and I shouldn't even be on the computer if it's not related to my school stuff.  


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#606 of 709 Old 05-03-2014, 06:20 PM
 
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Hi Tenzinsmama, I just read it somewhere about looking younger and longer fertility...Halley Barry comes to mind :)


vegan with a son, 4. also mom to rescue furry babies esp. my little girl Babe Doll.
no vaccines, no circumcision, baby born in birth center, still nursing.
"Shall we end this bleeding?” -- Lincoln
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#607 of 709 Old 05-05-2014, 02:14 PM
 
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nexxus - I have had those cycle day 3 tests but not since my late 30's. I am kind of afraid to have the tests done again for fear that they will confirm my suspicions that I am peri-menopausal. I think perhaps it's better for me to not know my actual odds - at least at this point in time. I could always request them next month.

I don't believe that anyone in my family has had a baby in their 40's besides me ;-)  I am a bit of a strange one in my family circle lol


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#608 of 709 Old 05-06-2014, 06:06 AM
 
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I had my second u/s yesterday and it's not good news. No growth in two weeks and no heartbeat. I had little hope going in but we needed to check of course. I started cramping yesterday too. I'm probably going to take the meds tomorrow to get things going.

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#609 of 709 Old 05-06-2014, 07:06 AM
 
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Hugs mama! I am so sorry for your loss. I went through that twice last year and did the drugs both times to help speed up the process. It was a rough year and I am so sorry to hear of another mama dealing with the same thing. Take care of yourself.

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us - dd 2/00, ds 8/02, ds 5/07, dd 2/11 & cautiously expecting baby girl 8/14
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#610 of 709 Old 05-06-2014, 07:27 AM
 
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Thanks Caritas, the missed missed m/c is new to me, I had a loss before about ten years ago, but this one is so much harder I think, I don't know...I'm still feeling pg but the baby inside me is not alive..

how is your pg'cy now?  How did you move past the losses to try again?  And you're over 40 I assume since you're on here :)


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#611 of 709 Old 05-06-2014, 08:42 AM
 
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:grouphug we are all here and i think everyone on this board has suffered a loss of their own :grouphug 

Group hug is definitely in order

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I had my second u/s yesterday and it's not good news. No growth in two weeks and no heartbeat. I had little hope going in but we needed to check of course. I started cramping yesterday too. I'm probably going to take the meds tomorrow to get things going.
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#612 of 709 Old 05-06-2014, 12:36 PM
 
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I am so sorry Sneezy about your loss, maybe it just wasn't the right time.

 

Orangemomma, I didn't want to know either but those tests came for free with my big blood test. Good news is I just found out antral follicle count can change each month. I don't know my antral follicle count yet, I need to go get that ultrasound. AFC can go up with DHEA, diet and Vitamin D and some things can bring it down.  http://drewnesbitt.ca/amh-test-fertility/-2012-08-01/

What makes you think you are perimenopausal?

 

Any one else taking DHEA? making face break out?


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no vaccines, no circumcision, baby born in birth center, still nursing.
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#613 of 709 Old 05-07-2014, 02:06 PM
 
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Sneezy - sorry for your loss. I found that the hardest part with my miscarriages - knowing that there's no hope but having my body be slow to complete the process. Hugs to you.

 

nexxus - I don't know for sure that I am perimenopausal - but at my last yearly the ob/gyn said that the way it starts is with your periods getting lighter and coming closer together - I would imagine its the body try to "pump out" the last eggs?? I don't know really but my periods have gotten lighter and the cycle shorter by 3 days or so.  I didn't ask how long this goes on before it switches to longer cycles with less ovulation that we all hear described.  I guess if I had the blood work I would have more idea of the status of my reproductive age.  I will see how things go this month and then consider an appointment.


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#614 of 709 Old 05-08-2014, 07:12 AM
 
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Mine zuddenly got lighter and shorter. Then bam! Last two months were 25 days rather than 27.
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#615 of 709 Old 05-08-2014, 12:36 PM
 
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Sneezy, so sorry to hear that you are going through this right now. It's a hard place to be. I'm holding you in my thoughts. When do you go back, you mentioned this coming week?

Hello and welcome to the new ladies just joining us on here. smile.gif

Nexxus, what was it exactly that you read about, the bit that talked about women looking younger than their age?  Does it mean that your cells age quite good and so your eggs may be not too bad off either?

Sorry this is kind of a drive-by... like LitMama, I've got a deadline and I shouldn't even be on the computer if it's not related to my school stuff.  
Hi everyone I'm a mom want to be tcc for three years four failed frozen embryo transfers. Were now looking for embryos to adopt from a couple if possible were open to an open adoption or close
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#616 of 709 Old 05-08-2014, 10:56 PM
 
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Sneezy, so sorry for you loss. Take care. ((HUGS))


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#617 of 709 Old 05-10-2014, 05:44 AM
 
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Well guys my vegan friend is 48 and having a baby! She just got the result of 4 amnio tests and her baby girl is healthy, she is now 22 weeks! There is hope! I just asked her if she does anything special and as far as I know she doesn't do anything other than a vegan diet...but I am asking her for more details.... She had her first at 40, second at 44. Her husband is 5 years younger than her. My husband is vegan, 45, but obese, so that doesn't help me I'm sure.

 

orangemomma, interesting about how periomenopause shows itself in the menstrual cycle. My period got closer to 28 days and heavier after starting acupuncture and B Vitamins, it actually went up to 32 days and made my face break out with heavy B vitamins...maybe periomenopause is reversible? even when I was 38, my period had a few 22-23 day cycles in the year... and if antral follicle count can change each month, so can FSH, maybe it means the Chinese are right, and we have until age 49 to have babies...because how else can all these things get better with treatment? Plus I can't tell how much nursing is interfering in my cycles. I'm getting avovulation every 3rd cycle! Maybe I need to stop nursing, but it is so hard...he really wants it.

 

McGhee, I think it would be easier for you to just use donated embryos. All you pay for is the cost to transfer the embryo which is $3,000.

 

Chilee, you should try B Vitamins to extend your cycle. The shorter cycle could be just hormonal and not indicative of eggs. B Vitamins boost your hormones. I take methylated B's....Emerald Labs, Adrenal Health.


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#618 of 709 Old 05-10-2014, 06:14 AM
 
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Okay I got details from her...she takes no supplements other than a vegan prenatal...she wasn't even tracking her ovulation, she was just having sex a few times after her period...WTH! She did have one miscarriage when she was 42, and it took two years to conceive after the miscarriage at 44. She says she isn't that healthy, somewhat overweight, and eats vegan junk food. Holy crap I'm like the icon of healthy diet and fitness..maybe I need to eat vegan junk food.


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#619 of 709 Old 05-10-2014, 12:07 PM
 
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Nexxes yes that's what were doing were now looking to adopt embryos and try again soon I hope to meet a couple that has extra and and completed their family and are donating we will try again
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#620 of 709 Old 05-12-2014, 07:19 AM
 
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i take b6 multi. i seem to be ovulating earlier.

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#621 of 709 Old 05-13-2014, 08:06 AM
 
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 I am there with you chilee. ((hugs))

 

nexxus - I think that a little indulgence could be a good thing - eat some vegan junk food - in moderation of course :-)

 

Has anyone ever had their usual PMS symptoms and then found they were pregnant when their period was due?  Let me explain: for me and my body - if I get certain PMS symptoms (the biggest being RAGING irritability) my period always comes. When I don't have this crazy irritability - I am pregnant - it doesn't mean that the pregnancy is a sticky one but that I am pregnant at least for awhile.  

 

Anyone else find this to be true??  Does this even make sense?


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#622 of 709 Old 05-13-2014, 08:44 PM
 
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Every pregnancy 3 kids, 1 chemical...all no pms. No pre af cramping. Utter lack of symptoms is how I knew each time after the first pg
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#623 of 709 Old 05-15-2014, 11:15 AM
 
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Thanks for sharing your experiences chilee - glad to know there's someone out there besides me that experiences this.

 

I am on CD11 - I have all of the usual PMS symptoms including the irritability which started on Sunday. Seems like the irritability portion is carrying on longer..............................Sigh


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#624 of 709 Old 05-19-2014, 10:25 AM
 
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Hi everyone!

 

LIfe has been really wacky... my work has been taking up more of my time and energy and has been stressful in a way it's never been before (mostly politics and hostile, insane colleagues). And at the same time, we are being cast our of our home! Yikes. We just made a big move a year and a half ago so my DD could go to a fantastic school, and have been renting in this new area. Now our landlord needs to move back into his house for financial reasons, and so we are out on our ears. We need to be out by June and don't have a new place yet, so it's a bit frantic and stressful at the moment. Looking to either buy or rent, whichever happens first, and it's a full-time job just looking (not to mention packing and throwing everything into a storage unit). We do have friends/family we can stay with if it comes to that. Today I am taking a vacation day to deal with this, and am planning to take all of DD's baby things to a children's consignment shop... sigh... since there does not seem to be a sibling coming along.

 

I finally got a chance to read through this thread just now and catch up a bit...

 

Welcome Jsustanley and Lilybean...

 

Lilybean, I'm sorry for your loss... it sounds like you have an amazing respect and positive relationship with your body!

 

Jsustanley, you asked about charting and whether it can lead to obsession. I would say, try it out and see how it works for you. Charting can get obsessive, but it can also be very enlightening and help you feel very connected to your body in a good way.

 

McGhee, welcome back! Sending positive vibes for your embryo adoption!

 

Sneezykids... I remember you well! I am so happy to see you back here, yet so sad that you are going through a loss. I'm sending big hugs your way, my friend. ((( hugs ))). I went through something similar a few months ago... a pregnancy that looked extremely healthy and promising based on betas and an early ultrasound. Then my 7-week ultrasound showed no heartbeat, slow growth. It took me a while to recover both physically and emotionally. I hope you can give yourself time and seek out whomever and whatever helps you feel whole again. Sending you love.

 

Gumblossom... I'm sorry you've been feeling down, too. I hear you on how seeing a positive test can really change things. I had that happen this month... loads of pg symptoms, and positives on two different brands one day, then negative the next. I just got AF today. Yesterday I was an absolute wreck. I'm glad you have found ways to bring peace to your heart, such as gardening. I believe I am "incurable" as well! I keep trying trying trying to let go and move on, but it doesn't feel right. The hope and the longing feel more right to me for some reason, even if it brings pain. Interesting and yet not surprising that you found yourself already knowing much of what the naturopath had to say! I think I'm in the same boat. I've had 4 years to do this research, and I feel like I could write a book at this point. Which is kind of weird... because it means there are very few stones left to turn over.

 

Chilee... how are your cycles going? You were worried they were getting lighter and shorter. You asked about red clover... I know Susun Weed highly recommends it for women over 40. I have taken it, but like Gum, I don't know if it actually made any difference. The problem is Susun Weed says the tincture and capsules don't really cut it, you need to brew an infusion every few days. I personally don't feel like I have time for that... I've been taking on and off a tincture called "Fertility Preg" which has red clover, nettles and red raspberry leaf. Kind of an overall fertility tonic. I get it at my local natural foods co-op.

 

Orangemomma, I like your positive attitude! I've heard that 5% stat bandied about, too. And I agree with you (or maybe someone else said this) that that is probably a number that relates to the "average" American woman who does not take really great care of herself. My DH is always reminding me that I eat better and have a much healthier lifestyle than most, so (says he) those stats don't necessarily apply to me. Plus, I think those stats are generated by IVF clinics and thus skewed to begin with... they're drawn from a population that is seeking fertility treatment. My mom had a hysterectomy in her 20s, too... what was it with those doctors wanting to take women's reproductive organs out in that era? Fortunately for my mom, her doctor left her with one ovary so she could continue to have a hormonal cycle each month until menopause (which she went through at 65).

 

Tenzinsmama, you asked about my IVF cycle last summer... I can't remember how many days of injects I did (I have the calendar somewhere and could look it up if that would help you!) but I think it was for about 2 weeks. I was pretty much a pincushion by the time the follies were at the stage the doc wanted them at so we could do the retrieval. I did have an AFC done at the start of my cycle and I had 8 follicles, and 7 of them grew to the right size. In the end, they retrieved 6 eggs, so there was one rogue egg they couldn't get to (and of course I will always wonder if that was "the one"). Although 8 follicles didn't sound like a lot to me (I remember going home disappointed after that ultrasound), I guess that was not bad for a 45-year-old. I also had my FSH measured that cycle and it was 13, which was high for me (last time I had it measured, it was 7). So the docs were surprised, that at 45 and with an FSH of 13, I could produce 8 antral follicles and have 6 eggs retrieved. I remember there was a lot of celebrating. They were also pleased that we got 2 grade-A blastocysts to transfer. But of course, no baby. In terms of an age cut-off, I have found that while many clinics do have them, there are also clinics that don't care about age so much as FSH and AMH levels. And some clinics don't even care about FSH and AMH and will let each woman decide whether she wants to go for it with her own DNA. Which makes sense to me... it's my body and my money, right? Are you considering IVF yourself?

 

Nexxus, thank you for the info on your progesterone supp! I think I'll try to get hold of some of that brand you mentioned. I've been taking an Rx suppository every month during my LP, and it's just so icky. I think it's upsetting my flora. Probably worth a shot to try a cream instead that gets absorbed through the skin. How are your LH surges going? You asked about Vitex... I also heard that it will mess up your cycles if your cycles is fine to begin with, so I didn't try it for years for that reason. I only tried it when my cycle shortened and my ovulation dates were inching toward cd10, and it did sort that out for me. My O dates are now closer to cd14 (actually cd17 this month... they were cd15 or cd16 in my 30s when I got pregnant with my DD). Thank you for all the wonderful stories of later-in-life pregnancies that you bring to this thread! They really warm my heart. You mentioned your mom had an abortion at her doctor's suggestion at age 48. The same thing happened to my grandmother! I find it sad that she lived in a time when male doctors were able to wield that kind of power over their women patients and that she wasn't able to have the baby she wanted to have, but also weirdly encouraging (since I have her genes) that she did have what looked like a keeper at 48. And she was no health nut...

 

Hugs to you all... I'll be checking in occasionally to keep up with you, but likely will check out in terms of posting for a while, as things get increasingly chaotic here.


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#625 of 709 Old 05-19-2014, 10:59 AM
 
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Ah, one last thing I meant to mention... for those of you interested in taking supplements and tinkering with your diets to improve egg quality... I just got a great looking book called "It Starts With The Egg". It was written by a biochemist who did all this research in an attempt to improve her own egg quality and reserve (and succeeded). It has very detailed info on diet and supplements (including what NOT to take) and she includes dosages. I just got it and haven't read it yet, but it looks promising. Of course, I probably already know all this stuff... but since it's well-researched and evidence-based, I think it's worth a read.

 

Nexxus, I forgot... you were asking about DHEA. I took it at the age of 42 for 7 months (25mg 3x/day per my RE) and hated it. It made my skin oily and gave me terrible acne all over my face, back and chest. It gave me energy and made me feel great emotionally, but I couldn't handle the acne. And I figure, if I didn't get pregnant at a youthful 42 in 7 months (not even a chemical pregnancy) then it probably wasn't doing anything good for me. I asked my RE if he would test my own natural DHEA first and he said no, because our levels go up and down by the hour. Not sure if he was right (he steered me wrong on my thyroid, so I take his word with a grain of salt). But there you go. This book DOES recommend DHEA and it really bums me out that I had this reaction to it, because it sounds so promising!


treehugger.gif Mama to 1 lovely DD,  angel1.gif 1/12 @ 8 weeks (ectopic), angel1.gif 1/14 @ 7 weeks, many chemical pregnancies, TTC DH'S #1, my #2
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#626 of 709 Old 05-20-2014, 11:11 AM
 
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It's comforting to hear of others in the same boat. How nice it would be to sit with you all over a cup of tea and talk about our experiences.

I'm 41 with three children. In addition to the challenge of our ages, DH recently had a vasectomy reversal and his SA came back with very low motility. How's that for a challenge! winky.gif

I swing from being so very happy and grateful for where we are now, accepting there may not be another baby for us, to desperately hoping that we can. It's such a roller coaster ride of emotions. I haven't been charting, but I probably should start. I'm hesitant to get compulsive about this, but I also feel I might just have to put in more effort than I did in the past.

I hope to hear some success stories in this thread. All the best to you all.
Hi tcc 3 half years four failed fet aga 45 that's why we went with adopting embryos but no luck yet now were looking to adopt embryos
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#627 of 709 Old 05-21-2014, 05:21 PM
 
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Litmama, thank you for your kind words. Many hugs and love to you also smile.gif

 Mommy to Emily (16), Cal (12) and Claire Bear (3)
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#628 of 709 Old 05-22-2014, 07:15 AM
 
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hello all my fellow 40-something mamas ~ I visited this thread back in 2012 when I was ttc #4 at the age of 41.  We had success after 3 months and have a beautiful baby girl who will be two in July.  DH dragged his feet to schedule a vasectomy and despite the use of condoms, I now find myself pregnant again at 43 (I'll be 44 when baby is due).  I'm trying to combat some negative self-talk about my age and trying desperately to surround this baby with loving, positive energy.  I thought checking in here might help.  I haven't been about to read the entire thread, but I wish you all the best on your journeys.   

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Laura ~ Mama to three wild and wonderful boys and our rainbow baby girl on 7/2/12
and expecting #5 on 12/24/14
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#629 of 709 Old 05-22-2014, 01:22 PM
 
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hello all my fellow 40-something mamas ~ I visited this thread back in 2012 when I was ttc #4 at the age of 41.  We had success after 3 months and have a beautiful baby girl who will be two in July.  DH dragged his feet to schedule a vasectomy and despite the use of condoms, I now find myself pregnant again at 43 (I'll be 44 when baby is due).  I'm trying to combat some negative self-talk about my age and trying desperately to surround this baby with loving, positive energy.  I thought checking in here might help.  I haven't been about to read the entire thread, but I wish you all the best on your journeys.   

Congrats! i will be 45 this summer and my youngest will be 3 in the fall. 

I love that you came to find us again <3

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#630 of 709 Old 05-23-2014, 04:11 PM
 
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Thanks for the hugs, Sneezykids :love

 

Congrats, 3Surfboys! I can well understand the ambivalence, it sort of comes with the territory. You can certainly find lots of support here. Nice to see you again! :) 


treehugger.gif Mama to 1 lovely DD,  angel1.gif 1/12 @ 8 weeks (ectopic), angel1.gif 1/14 @ 7 weeks, many chemical pregnancies, TTC DH'S #1, my #2
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